Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - What do I care if you piss on me...

Episode Date: March 8, 2026

Did getting back together with your ex work out for the best? We find out how wasteful Timothée Chalamet is and Rohan finds an achievement from the girlfriends past that he couldn't wait to share with the team!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky Range with Honey Siracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast. Hello everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for hitting follow.

Thank you for giving us the five stars. Thank you for helping out wherever you can. Hell yeah, Rowan. Nice. I also just want to congratulate us. Mondays could be tough. You know, big weekends. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe feeling a little sluggish. That four o'clock alarm can hurt a little. Totally. But Mondays, quickly becoming my favourite day. Oh, good, because you've had a hard weekend. You get it coming with the games. Well, yeah, that also, but I just think we're fabulous on a Monday.

We've gone up a point. So we were 4.1 on Apple now. We have 4.3 out of 5. Oh, we're talking about? The stars. Yeah, thank you for rating. You've got to rate us. It's what we call.

A call to action. Please actually. To action. We've gained point two. A CTA. So if you're listening now and you're on your phone, if there's a little star rating there, please hit the five. It actually really does help.

And I also think it's because of all our strong Mondays. Totally. Done. Go team go. Follows as well. Also because of the amazing contributions we get. Rowan, today you talked about your sweet, darling, gorgeous, bombshell of a misso. Do you call her your plums? No.

Who does that? No one says that. Angus and his mates. She's me plums. It's one of those things. So Mo, Angus's best mate, will go, how's your plums? Infurring me. And Angus in return goes, she's good and yours.

inferring Jordan. I've heard it. I've heard it. So I don't think you would say, this is me plums, yes. I think in conversation with Du Bois. First went.

Yeah. Okay, fair. Anyway, your plums. Sure. Lucy holds a record. You'll hear about it momentarily. Yep. And we just put it out there on the text line.

Do you hold a record, you know, primary school, high school days? Yep. Em got in touch. Strong chance for Cooker of the week here. I hold the record for the most number of suspensions in year 12 at my prestigious boarding school.

Sick. Whoops, swear I'm more decent now and have an ADHD diagnosis to back me up. Let's go. Yeah, school. ADHD and schools don't go so well, do they? And, like, I'm assuming, based on nothing that M is our age. And so back then, high school, it was not a thing in our era. Wait, you babbs, you ever get suspended or stuff?

You get in trouble? You ever get suspended or stuff? You get in fights? Not really. Once I got in the blue book for saying the word bitch. What's the blue book? I don't know. It was just like a warning book.

If you get like three goes in the blue book, then you get a, RTR, I think they called it. What's an artia? Which was like our equivalent of a detention. Tell you what, three strikes. Like, you'd almost say like just, you'd be itch twice. Just to roll it out there. So, I've got a couple more of these to go.

You called someone a bitch? No, this is actually, it's annoying. I was talking to a girl about another girl and said that she called someone a bitch. So you're retelling a story. Yeah, and then she went and dobed on me and I got pulled in. Who do you? The girl you were telling? Yes.

How old were you? You know, she is. She's shitty. Like 12. That's a bitch move. But then I had to go into one of the scariest teachers in front of everyone. And she gave me a dressing down. And then I started crying and they had to call my mom to come pick me up because I was inconsolable.

Oh my God. That's bad. That's bad. Actually, this is so angry and sad. I've never felt closer to you. You should have gone out. Thank you. No, no.

I've got 10 years on you. Yeah. What were you? I would have been, I think I was in year four. Okay. Year six for me. I tried to copy the cool. girl, Amber Sherlock, she jumped the fence.

Like little fence, not like a big fan. She just jumped the fence from like the playground asphalt to the Oval. And I was like, I'm going to be like Amber Sherlock. So I've hurtled over. I got caught, got sat on time out, yellow bench in front of everyone at recess, balled my eyes and I was mortified because I'm such a goody two shoes. Yeah.

I've got my mum too. Careful shy guy. What, just like as a little just a fence because you could, you're out at recess or Yeah, it was recess, and Amber Sherlock went, I'm not walking through the little gay. I'm going to hurt all over and I was like, oh my God, I'm going to do that too, but I got busted. Busted for what? Miss Jumping the fence were not about. Couldn't agree more, bro. Miss Landerwee. I still remember this.

Was this a different Amber Sherlock to the one that had the infamous T-shirt gate on Nine News? That is a different Amber Sherlock. Okay, I thought I thought I thought it out there. What's the Ours? Great recall. There you go. Great recall. Different person. I wish it was the same person. My Amber Sherlock. I don't know what she's going to. on to do, but I definitely know it's not her. Great. What about you?

Did you get, were you a punk in time when you're high? I wish I punched a heap more dudes in the mouth. I was so, such a teacher. Well, my mother was a teacher and then whenever there was anything that went on at my school that I was remotely involved in, my mother would get an email and make my life hell for a week. Sorry, she's at a different school? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, but she'd still get looped in.

I just, I would, it was worse than detention. Absolutely. Or my mates would just have a problem, like, I'm going to this block up, and they would just go out there and punch on, and then they would have detention for a day. and they would just go home, it'd be fine. But if I, for God's sake, did anything, like anything, not even, like, if I was a minute late or, like, they had to quickly wait for me because I was in the toilet. I wasn't feeling well. Like, mom would hear about it.

It was the worst. So I just was like, I have to just not do anything. That, yeah, fair enough. It's not worth the result. Shy guy, I'll ask you. You're getting trouble in primary or my? No, I, it's kind of in trouble by association. Yeah, you haven't done anything.

Not some of the bag. Just like, just, yeah, I don't know. Just get caught up. Yeah, just caught up in the crowd. But whatever, it was a bit of fun. There you go, see, primary school, man. It's a traumatic place. Right, guys.

Anyway, enjoy the show. Oh, fun. Hey, fun. In 2020, we're going to. Jess and Rowling. In 2026, something new for breakfast. Do you know Jess? I've got two balls.

You'll get to know Rowan. What am I a piece of meat? It's covered him ink. It's going to be good. It's going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. That squawking fatty.

And Rowan. Ah, you like what I did that? This is Jess and Rowers. It's going to be good. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to the week. Good morning. Happy Monday, everybody.

Feels good. Feels great to be a Monday. There's a vibration in the air, Ro Roe. I thought it was just a new chair. Did you fart before you walked out of the room before? I actually did. I knew it. I knew it.

I knew it. I told you. And then you gave us your. life story about why I couldn't poo this morning. And then you walked out and I went, guys, she absolutely cropped us. I wouldn't have said anything if you didn't mention, if you didn't say vibration. I literally, that was also just a fraudian sleep. I didn't mean to give myself away, but I'm happy to now put my hand up.

Shy guy. That's how much I was busting. I didn't get any of it. Thank God. Oh, no, I angled. I would never aim at you. Oh, just at Shy God? I aimed at Shy Guy.

Rock one. Fire! Did you hear it or did you smell? No, I snor. Yeah. But I didn't start to you walked out of the room. As soon as you walked out, Babs just went, Hobbs just went, I'll be back will suffice.

Didn't need your life story. I, um, I need it. Please, it's, what of my, what of my great floors is just thinking, everyone needs to know every bodily function. I'm also wearing denim today. I didn't think it would escape that easily. Oh, it's just stuck in your ass now. Let me just shake the rest of that.

Not need to shake. I'm not near me. And you know what we learned about how this air conditioner system works. It's now just being filtered and pushed back out on the way. That's right. It is cyclical. That's right. Sucks in, blows out. As soon as you walked out, Shiger way. Yeah, I think she left something for here. Wow, bro. Great. Happy Monday. Yeah, welcome to the week. I worked with these two for two and a bit years. You'd think I would have like softened them up a little bit. Made them a bit more relaxed. What shy guy. Are you kidding? What a fool I am, Rowan. What a fool. How are you?

Good, thanks. Any vibrations over your side of the desk? Tell you what, I could rock a couple today. Maybe today's Fart Day. No, it's not. Leave the studio. Maybe today's Fart Day. Oh, I saw it. My mother sent me an awesome photo of you and I last night, shall I go?

Oh, Circa what year? Circa, uh, circle of... 14, 15? 15. Uh, not Tay for the next year. At after. 2014. Look at that.

Look how young we are. Look at that. Can I put that on the Jess and Rowan Instagram story? I don't mind. You can put that up. Wow. Wow. How old are you there?

No, it'd be... Was that over a decade ago? I'd be 23, maybe. 23, 24? 18, 19. So I got over 13. Roland, what's the secret to maintaining long-lasting friendship? Go away for a few years and then come back.

Don't talk very often. Yeah. Yeah, no, working together. Don't get sick of each other. That's how you do it. Get out of each other's pockets. It's literally it. Oh, that's beautiful.

That's really nice. When you make the best man speech at his wedding, I can't wait for you to say that line. I'd hate ice beach. Yes, ice to shaggot. Oh, that's a bit of fun. It's very fun. I want to thank everyone who came down Saturday.

Oh, yeah, for the ice cream. We were giving away free ice cream. You might have seen a great video on the Jess and Rollins socials. Yes. Thank you. That was a wonderful way to spend some time on the weekend. A few people made the trip deliberately. Absolutely.

Hour long journeys, some of these people. We thank you. We hope you enjoy. For some ice cream. Shagarga, you're worried? About. Roland was very good dipping. I'm usually your thing.

I was just rocking there. I was just rocking there. He was triple dipping at one point. Yeah, I saw. Some of them were awful. If I would have triple dip, the third one was bad. To be fair, he's got a whole thing called shy guy dips. Shockin at the single dip.

Kat. You're doing triple dips. You were my first one. But listen, I couldn't also, I couldn't do this soft serve. I was no good at that. Yeah. You're not a pump. That too.

I just dip. You just dip. Yeah. Don't pump just dip. Good morning, Babs. Good morning Cool Did you mind me

putting a video of you on my Instagram By the way? I mean, I looked like an idiot But it's fine It's what we like What do you think he's going to post videos If you look at all hot and sultry Can't be doing that

No It's been good Might have been good Might have been good Actually, help a sister out Yeah You got single friends Not in Newcastle

Oh okay Not where we live here All right Well they be willing to travel Maybe She's worth it We'll work on that baths We'll work on that.

Hey, big show this week. Lots of winning too. Cooker of the week. Double pass to Mel Robbins, Jess's favourite. Oh my God. Accommodations in Sydney. That is unbelievable. When is she playing in Sydney?

Is it this weekend? I'm seeing her in Melbourne at the end of the month. But when is she in Sydney? Maybe it's in two weeks. It's in two weeks, maybe. Anyway, that's an unbelievable prize. You get involved in the show. Yeah, we get to that.

End of the month. End of the month. If you're a bit of a porn aficionado, there may be some more barriers getting into the show. I bet you the aficionados know that already though. This is for anyone on the cusp. Got their masks, you know what I'm saying? You're a regular, you're aware.

Like, to be fair, shy guy had this on the run sheet three days ago. Oh, they knew. Oh, they read the article. Hmm. I read the article. Never read an article in your life. Saying shy guy is the officianto. He's the, should he just do that story?

Yeah, well, maybe. Why have you also read? What happened? Oh, that's the sunburn? Because I didn't apply sunscreen. Oh, mate. Ice cream day. He messaged me in the evening going, I am so bird.

I went, you. For the paylist of the team. I guess we were in the air-conditioned van. We were. Not great. Next, though, liquid cremation. That's right. Normally burn you down.

Put you into a water. Interesting. Find more about that. Next. This is Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. I think it's still fair to say. Early days of the Jess and Rowan era.

Yeah. So we're still learning things about you. One question I've yet to ask you in our, what, four weeks, five weeks together. When you die, What do you want to happen to your body? Fun fact, no one's ever asked me that ever. So this is good. Have you ever thought about it?

I think, yeah, cremate me. So burn me into ashes. Sure. And then put me in like an over-extravagant urn. Yep. Put me on the mantle. Go there's Ron. See, what I...

Right there. What I think maybe you don't know is an option. We can cremate you. Then we can put you in a firework. In a firework? and put you in a firework. There was a story a couple of years ago. God, it might have been Australian,

where a dude, his last wishes, was to be cremated down and his ashes put in some pyrotechnic at a Tiesto concert. So when Tiesto dropped a fat beat, it went psh, and the dude was a part of the, pshh. Oh, my God. Maybe you can put my ashes in some ink and get tattoos of Rowan. Just says Rowan. Oh.

I got Rowan in me. I like that. Lucy, your partner, she obviously gets first crack. If she wants the full back done, she might use up a bit of Rowan. But then whatever's left over, a little j-fart. You get a little crab in honour of you. Little crab. You know, because you got a crab on your...

Scorpion. Oh, the scorpion. Shy guy could look first ink, bit of Rowan. Rowan. For me... Don't you think, shy guy? I learned of a thing. It's relatively new technology.

There's a company that'll compost you and turn you into soil. So your family could plant a nice lemon tree? Lemon tree. Don't you wee on the lemon tree though? You could wee on a lemon tree. I'm dirt. What do I care if you piss on me? Once I'm dirt.

I'm dirt. I'm dirt. Once I'm dirt. I'm dirt. You can piss on me. Did you say that? Once I'm dirt. I remember the dirt part.

Once I'm dirt. You do whatever you want. I don't know if you said once. We'll go to the tape. Let's go to the videotape. Let's go to the videotape. There's another option. Oh, go hit me.

Yes. Scotland. I didn't realize they were pioneers when it comes to death, but they're doing something no other country in the world is offering. Liquid cremation. It's been dubbed Boil in the Bag funeral. That's not for me. It doesn't sound hot.

At all. Happens by hydrolysis, which is a chemical process that basically involves water heat and an alkaline solution that turns everything except your body. bones and your teeth into water. And it stays in the bag. I guess it stays in the bag. So, like, you know, when you buy a fish from the fish shop? Look what I got.

And it's like a bag of water with a goldfish in it. It's that without the fish. Is that Nemo? No. Here you go. It's rohan. It's babs. And then it says you can do whatever you want with that.

You could bury it. I don't understand. Why would you bury water? Yeah, but you know, like, people do that with ashes as well. People cremate and then bury the urn. That's weird to me. sending that down the river or the fish going, what the hell?

He said, you can flush it. I mean, if I've just gone through that whole process, too liquid cremate Rowan, I'm not then flushing him. We're not flushing that, mate. Or similar to the traditional ashes, go around the world, scatter your water in various other bodies of water. Put it in a spray bottle and squirt it at your mates for some jokes. When my Labrador's playing up,

use that to, you know, sometimes you do that to get your dogs to behave. So that's an option for you. It's only available in Scotland at the moment, but maybe they'll bring it here. Okay. As an option for you. Something you would do? Nah, I'm set on the soil thing.

The soil thing. Yeah, I want to, I want. Because you're dirt. And you want to get pissed on. I didn't say I want to get pissed on. I said, I don't mind. No, you said, I'm dirt, you can. This is Jess and Rowan.

Shy guy demanded the sheet. Demanded. He said, give me this. I'm the expert. Yeah. You had this on the board before anyone even. Yeah, when news broke last week, but we had to move it. Had to move it.

Had to move it. You wanted it on the day fresh. And Rowan needed his hands free. Yeah. For reasons that I'll explain now. Whoa. So as of today, everyone, if you want to access any porn website in this country, you will need to give away your government ID, including a photo of your driver's license.

Or use your webcam to take a photo of yourself that gets uploaded to, I don't know where, to prove your of age. Right. To watch. explicit material. So just turn the webcam on and they take a pick and they go, yeah, they look over. Yeah. Oh, they don't verify that against the idea.

It's literally just taking a pic. If the thing's not sure of your characteristics in your face, it will then ask you to upload a photo of your life. Sure. So they go on live chat, and old John's in the creep room. They have a look at you. Are you kidding me? Yeah.

I spent a lot of money on skincare, Rowan. I would hope. I would look a lot younger. But then what do I care if you piss on me? Wow. Sorry, Jess just had a piss on me joke. It's from earlier. And you'll note, I said, I'm dirt.

What do I care of? Oh, I understand how that sounds now. We have it shorten, I think, as well. Oh, we've got a short one. That sounds like I don't have a lot of self-esteem, doesn't it? Piss on me. Anyway. So, Arlo, I don't know how to say.

You won't be able to get that for free from today on. You'll need to verify. Am I right? You are right. No, we weren't behind an age block. We've wide. So Arlo, the parent company of Pornhub, Red Shoe, Bout, all the good ones. Don't act like you need to read those.

All the good ones. They're the only ones, aren't they? Anyway, so Arlo, out of protest, the Australian government, has said, we're going to ban access period. So sorry, they're against age verification. Doesn't that sound so suss? How can you be against that? Well, they're against the, because they're all about being, like, incognito and, like, that hell. Oh my God, I can't get onto it.

So, Rowan, would you try to access, please? Oh, sorry, no, no. I'm on the Wi-Fi. So maybe because I'm on the Wi-Fi, it's not working. I would try out, but I'm on thin ice with having European privilege here. Once a week, Shai-go gets an email from HR. You're going to need to come see us. It's like it's content.

It's fine. Let me just hang on one second. I'll just have it. Piss on me. Oh, sorry, wrong button. Hang on. Hey, you age verify first. Stop getting that for free.

No, look. I'm allowed to enter. I can enter. So you can get in. I am 18 or older. So that's all you need it to clean. Oh, okay, and shut that down. Okay, so there's the 15th most popular website in the world, this one.

15, that's it. 15th. That actually surprises me. It's that low. That feels low. Yeah. I understand Google would be number one. What is number one?

Who's getting, who's got spots? Surely top 10, I would have put money on. Well, is Brazzers six? What's brazzers? Is that another version? They act like you don't know, mate, okay? No, I do mine in real life. I don't need no.

Okay. Is brazzers a site? about stuff. Roll play gear. I love role play. It's pretty. Agus never agrees. I was like,

wear your blue light glasses, be a sexy librarian. He's like, love me for me. You could be Team Rocket. Oh my God, their brother is, I don't mind.

I'll take that back. No, take that back. Oh, classic Tasmania. This is Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. Mel Robbins. She's our cooker of the week. You get involved.

04-8-18-1069. Text us. You could be off to see my girl, Mel. I thought about I thought about listening to the podcast. because we give you it away.

I didn't do it. Can I recommend an episode for you? Send me an episode. I'm going to send you some links. I send you one. I don't want it in undate you. One link, please. But I told you, I sent my mum one.

She called me 45 minutes later, crying. What's it about? She goes, it changed my life. We've got one specific episode in mine right now. I can. What is it about? Well, the one I set my mum that made her cry was about the seven things we need to be letting go of.

The seven shackles that you put on yourself. And Mel, it's just one on one. Her and you. No guess. she usually gets a guest. Interesting. Otherwise, the one I'm listening to now is with a divorce lawyer. Fantastic.

Oh, is that the New York guy? Yes, John Sexton. I'm obsessed with him. So am I. Send me that one. Yeah, it's funny, though, because it made me start having some questions to my husband. I said, John Sexton, he goes, who? I said Mel Robbins guest talking about connection.

Hey, what were the questions to your husband? What do you reckon? What kind of questions? You don't have to tell me the questions? No, no, I can. I won't tell you his answers. That's Angus's. I'll guess them.

Go. Sure. John Sexton, the divorce lawyer, talking to Mel Robbins, about the actuality about keeping relationships healthy and strong to avoid seeing people like him. Yep. He goes, the number one cause of divorce, he goes, isn't some catastrophic event like cheating. It's lack of connection. Yeah.

Lack of respect for the connection. He heard him say it. So he goes, there is one simple thing you could do is ask your partner once a week. Okay. What's something I did this week that turned you on? Oh. Because he goes more often than not, it will surprise you. You'll think, oh, it's because I made your dinner every night

and I remember that you like your steak, medium rare. I bet you that's not what your partner will say. Interesting. So you could go home tonight and say to your partner, loose. What's something I've done in recent days that has turned you on? You might be thinking, oh, it's because I cleaned the bathroom without being asked. I bet you she'll have a different response. Is the jazz bed helping this?

Yeah, I really like it. I reckon Mel Robbins could have used a bit of jazz bed. She's not doing the jazz bed? She's not doing the jazz bed. It's just her and the guest. Any other questions? Anything else? Just that one?

No, there was that. Well, I was only walking the dog for 10 minutes to start raining, so I went back inside. Oh, okay. But I came in, I said, dangas. Hey. Anyway, she's fantastic. She's fantastic. And I do apologize.

You want to talk about lovers in the ocean. But I was really excited to talk about Mon Robin. Hey, we can talk about the whales who like to sing good. Next. This is Jess and Rowan. You wanted to share some new information that's come across your desk out of the deep blue sea. The deep, the deepest of deep seas. The deepest of deep.

This is really important. This is really important. Oh, sit up a bit straighter. Sit up. Please sit up straighter. No sillies. Let me just read you the headline of it. Older whales are more successful at mating because they are better singers.

Upon listen to that, I don't know if that was a younger one or a male one. We're going with male. We're going with male. Are we going with older? Is that meant to be the booblay of the blue? Boobley of the blue whales. The blue way. The bit nice.

Thanks. Oh, let's make a humpback joke. Quick, go. Because that's a type of whale. You hump, should I go? I'll come back. Sorry? What?

Older male whales. Wicked. A more successful at mating than their younger rivals because they're just better singers. Suggests new research. So people are sitting in the ocean, listening to these whales singing going, the older ones are a bit better. And I don't love how much humanity we put on the animal species. What do you mean better?

Like, are we judging what's better? Because based on that audio rowan, that's not doing much for me. I'm not a whale. So what sicko human has sat in the ocean gone, the dulcet tones of that whale as hot? Well, the research suggests the older singing whales. are more successful at birthing the offspring compared to the younger males.

It just sounds like, wait, did the males give birth as whales? They're not seahorses. Aren't whales mammals, which would mean the female of the species? The findings suggesting that the humpbacks may need time to learn and refine their singing and competitive tactics, giving the experience males the clear advantage. So they know all the good chance. I really like, and your use of the word rival,

because we know in the animal kingdom, it is all about procreation. Yeah. So you've got the young bull who goes, I've got the strength, I got the stamina, I got the young on my side. Yeah, they're a bit off pitch. Whereas the oldest are going, you got nothing on me, brother. I've been singing these songs for three times as long as you've been alive. And they're able to woo the ladies. And they're just better at it.

They're better at it. Yeah, the international study led by the Sea Mammal Research Unit at the University of St Andrews in Scotland. Another Scotland story. Scotland's on a lot of heavy lifting for the Jess and Rowan program. twice in one hour, could be more on top of this show guy. Balance, shy guy. Showed the role of age in male humpback whale reproduction has changed as their numbers grow.

Oh, so we're not losing humpbacks. We're gaining humbacks and they're crediting to the old male singing. Because they're getting older. They're singing good songs and they're humping the others. This is just classic. You know how women are always like, my biological clock, my biological clock, whereas the men don't care because they can be impregnating well into their watch. In fact, it's better if they're older because they sing better songs.

It's like Al Pacino. Didn't he become like the dad for the 11th time in his 80s? It's like the Al Pacino's of the ocean. Imagine me the 11th Al Pacino kid. The 11th Pacino. Imagine that. I reckon that's too many Pacino. Give me a carpacino any day.

This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K Alpha Bucks on here. Yep, Lance 7 and 8 o'clock. each time for $10,000. Hello to you, Tamara. Good morning. Tamara, good morning. I just need to take 10 seconds

and just put a retraction. I said Al Pacino had 11 children. Oh, yeah, three. Three. I was getting my De Niro's and Pacino's mixed up. Well, he had seven. Seven, but he was 79 when he had the last one. That's who I was thinking of.

Now that's clarified. All eyes on you, Tam. We've got 10,000. We don't judge you. Thank you, my darling. We were like, hang on a second. You know, it's a sign of a mature adult who can go, hey, I made a mistake. And I'll loan up to that.

Yep, I pay that. Thank you so much. And I want to pay you, babe. What do you want our 10 grand for? What are you going to spend it on? A full tank of fuel. Yep. And there's my 10 grand.

Yeah, yeah, 10. I hope you get a couple of those out of your 10 grand. I can see here you've got something very exciting happening in your family with your son. Yes, my son's going through his peas in two weeks. So I'd like to help him buy a car. We can do that. We can do that. This is fantastic.

I'm sick of being Uber. Fair enough. Tamara, the letter you're going to work with, going to the top of the alphabet for you. A, B, C. C for cash is the letter you'll be working with today, all right? Yep. All right. Your time starts after the first question.

Starting with the letter C, we need you to name. A chip flavour. Um, cheese. A DJ. Pass. A pantry item. Uh, catapas. Catapes.

Catapes. An insect. Um, cricket. Something in the bathroom. Gloss. A perfume brand. Chloe. A sitcom.

A what, sorry? Sitcom. Um, cheers. A superhero. Corey's chef up Oh, after them. To some people, maybe. To some people maybe.

Supermodel, superhero, whatever. Just throw something out of it. The young women everywhere, a superhero. It was just International Women's Day yesterday. Rowan, I love that. You've got to pay that, actually. Nice tomorrow. Thank you.

Well, it was after the buzzer, so. Oh, yeah, that I can't argue with. That's the same bad stuff. Cheese, chips. I'll give you that. Yeah, it's fine. A DJ, could have Calvin Harris, Camelfad. pantry item. I don't know what you said.

What were you saying? Catapids. You know those little circle things and the... Lentals. No. You're thinking of capers. Capers. Yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking. Yeah. So you could have had capers. I think that's a little too fast. Yeah. And that's all you. And the other ones. Great. Okay. Well, you've got five.

Epic sale. Good for me. No, five's good. Five's a golf club. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. Passmark. Hey, Tam, we have had a string of twos and three. So five, you can hold your head up high. Oh, brilliant. Thank you. You're so supportive.

I love you. Thank you. Yeah, you will be buying your own petrol, though. Yes. Unfortunately, that's going to be awesome. Unfortunately, though. Tomorrow, what a delight. That's kind of energy we need.

Five's good. Let's see if you can get 10. Get at 8 o'clock. And hey, we want to ask you next. Did it work after you got back with your ex? Or maybe do you have a cautionary tale to share. Yeah, interesting. We'll do that next.

This is Jess and Rowan. We want to know, did it actually work? Getting back with your ex. A dating expert has come out, and basically, I want to refute her. Fair. Her name is Emma. She's a dating expert from premium dating platform seeking. I'm guessing it's trying to say we are like the relationship platform,

not like the hookup platform, i.e. your tinders or whatever. She has come out and said, don't do it. Getting back with an ex is, well, almost always a bad idea. You can't say almost always. No, no, no. It's either it is or isn't, Emma. It only works when something fundamental has actually changed. She goes on to say, getting back with an ex without real change,

is just like replaying the same game with the exact same strategy and expecting a different score. It's always those things hanging over your head too if you try and get back to you. If there was something that broke it off specifically, even if it's something that grew over. a time that broke it off. And then you kind of rekindle things. It's still there. Late last week, we talked about icks, Rowan. And how something like nearly 50% of people have broken up, dumped a partner because they

developed an ick. And that's usually pretty niche, pretty specific, pretty trivial. And they break off because of the ick. And they go, oh, I'm a bit lonely. We'd like to have him back. They come back. And they go, actually, that's gross. I hate that.

That ick is still there. It's something they've got rid of it. He still doesn't dry between his toes and gets all scabby in there. Oh, the tinia. That's yucky. Athletes' foot is worth dumping. Why would you, that feels close to home. Yuck.

Hell, do you. I got, she's down there. I had to get moisture wicking socks. That does. Oh, sorry. My friend who's a bodiedra has looked at my feet once. She goes, what's going on there? You should get moisture wicking socks.

How nice. What, the Nike dry fit socks? Are you kidding? The five finger toes. Bonds, but I think it's dry feet. Bonds? Yeah. Yeah.

I just went out and bought me a six pack of socks. Yeah, okay. But she goes on, you up bang on. Sorry, are you Emma Hawthorne in disguise? Exactly what she says. People will go back to a relationship when they give into nostalgia. They forget the negative. They focus on, oh, I guess it was nice to have some companionship.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, totally. But I want to know, because I thought that was pretty common knowledge. People don't change. People don't change, man. We know that. Yeah, they don't change. However, can you prove Emma Hawthorne wrong? did you get back with the ex?

How did it go for you? Yeah. Or maybe you just want to prove her right, being like, yeah, I gave him another go 10 years on and he was still a big jerk. I mean, I wonder if like you get back with the ex if they've done something bad, you kind of would always have it over them. So maybe that dynamic. Or you like that dynamic might work for some people.

So she cheats on you, you dump her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then 10 years goes by, you think, well, we did have some good times. Well, 10 years is a long time. Maybe that's enough for a moot point. I have a whole whole lot. onto grudges a lot longer for a lot less. Really?

You'd get back with a cheater. Oh, see, I don't think I would. I've never gotten back with an ex. I've stayed in relationships for too long. Too long? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, of course.

But would I get back with an ex? No. Well, obviously not now, but... Oh, you shy guy? Nah. Once it's done, it's done. Once it's done. Like, you broke up for a reason.

You know, there's a hack people... Hack. People talk about... Probably not a hack. When you break up with someone, you should write yourself a letter of all the things they did to annoy you, piss you.

you off, upset you, just put it in a drawer. That's not a... It doesn't feel like a hack, mate. So if you ever get the inkling, maybe I'll give him a text. I'll go read my shit book. Go read the burn letter. Yeah, go read the burn book.

Yeah, go read the burn book. Okay. So that's a little, little hack for you. So you don't slide back into muddy waters. I better go read my note about how much I hate Jonathan. Before I call Jonathan. That name fell targeted. I don't know, Jonathan.

I do. 1310. Maybe I'll open up. How did it go when you got back with the ex? Maybe it worked. Maybe it worked, but maybe you just had to repeat the same mistakes of the past. Or 04-8-8-106-9. Sent us a text, get involved.

This is Jess and Rowan. We're talking, how did it go when you got back with your ex? A dating expert by the name of Emma Hawthorne has come out and said, it almost always doesn't work. She goes, unless there's been fundamental change. Yeah. Well, obviously. Has to be.

If you're going back for the cuddles and the nostalgia, maybe. Bad. Maybe. This one's bad. Just ask the ladies out for a rosé. Don't text your ex. You had a crack at a bloke name Jonathan and a Jonathan texter saying, well, I feel targeted. Okay, Jonathan.

It was just a random name. I pulled out of a hat. I'm sorry that it was yours. Jonathan, I dated one Jonathan before. That's who he was referring to. Not you, Jonathan. You sound lovely. I was going to let you off the hook there.

But someone else has text us wrong. Said me and my partner were together for eight years. broke up for eight months, got back together and have been together since. Twelve years happy when we talk about fundamental change. We put the past behind us. We went on dates. We got to know each other again like new. Eight years feels different to like a two or three year X.

Yeah. Because eight years feel like you have really lived your life. I'm a bit sick of you. And you go have a break and go, no, like, I'm obsessed with that person. See, but isn't it funny though? After eight years, I would assume you know you're sick of them. Oh, that's a good point. And there's 8 billion people on the planet.

Pick someone else. 27 million in this country alone. Or maybe they both want to hook up with someone that'd seen down the road and they're going, I'll get back together now. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe. Swingers. It's, you know, it's 55 cents per text.

I appreciate they want to keep. Just doing what they can. Shelly. Hey, Shell. Good morning. Hi. Hi, good morning. You've told Babs, this is a story about your current husband.

What happened with you? Yeah. So we were together for three and a half. year. Back when we were like 19, separated at 23. We were separated three year and a half and got back together. Now we're married, have three kids. Hang on, Shelley, if I can back trap, why did you break up in the first place? Oh, we were just young, you know, jealousy and, you know, all that kind of stuff. But then, you know, year and a half past, we realized that there was no one that either of us were interesting. We tried. We tried.

Really tried. I thought you really tried. You really set the bar for each other too high. Worked your way around and then went, actually, he was the best. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, now we have three kids. We're married. But even better than that, my mum and dad, they separated for eight years. And now they've been back together, happily married for 11 years again.

Eight years apart to come back together. That's one of my friends. His parents did that, exactly that, yep. When he was alive, like he remembers them getting divorced. And then what? They sit down 10 years later and go. I think they're just separated. Yeah, Tucker's parents just like separated for like five, six years.

And then all of a sudden they'll like back together. Like, oh, you guys are cool. Oh, nice. You got to do things for yourself too. They're very discombobulating for the children in the mix. Totally. Hey, Kira. Hello.

Kira, how to go for you getting back with the X? Probably at least five times. We've broken up. Okay. You guys are just really trying to tip the vending machine, aren't you? 11 years, yeah. No, we've been good. last three years we we realized that we have different relationship styles, fearful avoidant,

and he's anxious preoccupied. So what he would do is he would cling to me and I would push away. Ah, yeah. And so now that we realize that, we communicate a lot more. Yeah, it's a lot better. But the other times, yes, it was just groundhog day. That's exactly it. Five times to break up. come back. I've heard of love languages, you know, the gift giving, the words of affirmation. I've not heard of break up, avoidant, whatever she was referring to.

You know, my old man, he's a, well, oh, he's retired, but was a relationship counsellor. And he just said, shut. He just, he just would say. Richard. Yeah, Richard, Richard, Richo, Tricky Dickie would just say it just needs to be easy. And if it's not easy, find someone else.

Richard. Amen, rich. Amen. This is Jess and Rowan. A double pastor, Mel Robbins, live. and Sydney in accommodation for the night at Ridge's Darling Square. In the heart of Sydney, your home away from home. Just being a cooker of the week. 04-88-1-106-9 is a text line.

That's how you get in. Very easy. Just text whenever. Jess replied. She's over there far and over. Amen. She's sold out, Rowan. She is sold out.

You cannot get tickets to see Mel Robbins in Sydney. Do you know where she's doing it? Yes. The big one in, was it the IAC? ICC. I believe so. That's big numbers. You've got to be real popular.

going to be there. Amen. And then you get to stay at the Ridges Darling Square. It is a Wednesday night, so we will make sure your accommodation's all sorted. Are you going on on Wednesday? No, because I'm going to see her in Melbourne. Oh, Melbourne. Me and my friend Finchie, we're making a whole thing of it. Down in Melbourne. He didn't want to go to Sydney? Just thought you'd make a little weekend out of it, you know? We're going to stay. I guess we'd have had a weekend in Sydney. Stay at your folks place? Up there at the airport or what are you going to do? Nah, nah. We've got some boogey, man. It's Mel Robbins, baby.

The W. Carly went. I love the W. Benchie where if we're going to do it. You're going to do it. Let's do it. Right. And so she was in charge of a comm. I was in charge of lunch, lunch.

And then my husband booked our flights. Yeah, beautiful. The, look, the W in Melbourne's very nice. Is it? I've not standing there. The bar upstairs is like an architect's dream. Oh, really? I like architecture.

That's why I keep going back to Italy. The architecture. The DJ booth up there is like a, it looks like a UFO. I got there. Oh, Spacey. It's a fun time. Wow. You up in Melbourne.

Danny Melbourne. A couple of pre-Mobile. Mel Robbins' bloody marries, am I right? That's not where you're staying if you win. You're staying in Sydney? No, but there's unbelievable bars and experiences in Sydney. You can have a bloody Mary on me. Absolutely.

You know what? I'm going to add that. I've never done this before, Ron. I don't know how it's going to work. Shiger's going to shut me down. Cooker of the week, you win the Mel Robbins tickets. You win the accommodation and I will pay for two bloody mary's for you and your friend. Okay.

And two bloody, let me just write that in there here. So I'll like, I'll transfer you. 40 bucks or something. I'm sure you could call the ridges and just sort it out. Yeah, but I feel like it's... Put it on the tab or something. It's extra spicy if Jay Farch is... It's my own money.

I just want you to enjoy. He's 40 bucks. Not many people love Bloody Mary. So it's too bad. That's what I mean. You have to go... You have to have a bloody Mary. They call the ridges and then tell them it has to be that.

You know what? Not every bar has tomato juice. Oh, make sure. See, this is what you're going to do. This is we've ruined it now because now it's like a real thing. And Worcestershire. Oh, that'd have a kitchen. Is that he's say it.

Okay. I'm impossible to spell. Don't ask me how to spell it. International Women's Day yesterday, you had a lovely lunch. I did, I did. And at this lunch, I had three separate women talking to me about their husbands. Oh, all right.

All one thing in common. Talk about that, next. This is Jess and Rowan. Yesterday, Rowan was International Women's Day for 2026. And on Friday, I had the honour of emceeing a luncheon, which was, you know, 100 plus women in a room. We were raising money for an incredible domestic violence charity, got your back sister.

Drinks were flowing. Three course feed. The sun was shining. It was unbelievable. Oh yeah. Lovely. But across the course of the afternoon, I had three women come up to me at separate times all with the same opening line.

And I didn't know how to feel about it. We're at an international Women's Day event. I've spent 20 minutes on stage banging on about empowering, uplifting, connecting, conversing. 20 minute monologue. Well, then I invited a panel up. There was a whole. So you spent 20 minutes to really get the.

I'm very passionate about... Look at you. You need to charge more, man. I am passionate. Honestly, you would get it as well. I'm very honoured when people ask me to emcee their events, but international Women's Day events do something to my soul. I catch the vibes. I was before I'd even had a sip of rosé.

Like, I just really... I love it. I love it. Good, good, good, good. So to have these three women start conversations with me the same way... Yep. Tickled me the wrong way. First woman comes up, early doors.

Jess, can I get a picture with you for my husband? He loves you? I went, you sure. You just can say you love me. It's fine. You don't have to say someone else. That specified husband. And in lieu of her saying, I love you, made me feel she doesn't care for me.

She's doing it just for the husband. Whenever I hear that, such and such loves you, it means they love you. They're embarrassed. Yes. That's what I think. What beautiful perspective. Because it happened again in between Entrey and Maine. Yes.

Can you say hello to my husband on video? He loves you. I went, another one. Like, I've just spent a good amount of time, women's supporting women. That's okay. I'll do it for you, babe. Of course. Sure, sure, sure.

I'll do a two-minute video to Dylan. Hey, Dylan, if you're listening. Yeah. And it's funny, I like that woman because I said, what's he doing? She goes, he's at home with the kids. I went, yes, queen. That's what today's all about. You get to enjoy.

But then the third woman, and by this stage, this was towards the end of the event. I've had a couple of Evie's, vibes are high. It's all been about the gal. I was another woman comes up to me with her two gorgeous friends. She goes, Jess, I need to get a picture with you for my husband. And I lost it. I said, what about you? You don't want a photo with me?

She goes, well, whoa, my husband was in the delivery room when you popped Lucia out. Oh, interesting. That's why. And I go, oh my God, are you the obstetrician's wife? She goes, no, better. I'm the anithetist. Dr. Gary was the one who rolled in with the epigion. Dural.

Even better. He was the savior of the day. Obviously, the obstetrician, he caught the kid, but the midwives did more. But Dr. Gary, actually, Angus even caught. What was the obstetrician doing there, shall I go? I wasn't there. Taking picks. Dr. Gary saunter's in in my hour of need.

Gets that pipe in, no more pain. Good. And that was Dr. Gary's wife, Lee, if you're listening. So she was the one who I kind of went hard at. Why don't you like me too? I think when, like, when blokes do it, it's like, it's like a female something. Yeah. It's always like, oh, get for me, missus, it.

It's always for them. You're right. Always. It's, 100%. I would like, that's a hill, that's a hill old dialogue. Now I feel bad for the woman. I did this two-minute video for the husband. She's going, I actually wanted a message for me.

Sorry. Maybe he likes you, but they would both love you. I'd still get what she needed from that. She just goes, oh my God, it's so great to meet you. I think you're fantastic. People don't, it's Australia. Tall poppy. No one likes to say how much they like someone to their face.

That's sad. Yeah, it's just a fact. You know what? And a couple of women came up to me and said, oh, sorry to bug you. Can we have a picture? Can we have a chat? I'm like, it is not a bother. What upsets me more is getting a message on Instagram after going, oh, I didn't

want to come up to you. I didn't want to bug you. I've done my job poorly if you don't think you can come up to me. Mostly Jess doesn't like to be looked in the eyes, but are these kind of things when she's getting paid, it's okay, guys. So just, if you see her out about, do not, do not. So we give away the ice creams on Saturday, you know, hour and a half in the truck or whatever, trying to have a chat to people.

No one asked for a photo. I asked a couple of people, would you like a photo? You did too. And I was like, the family, that drove an hour. I said, you've come an hour, not just for a soft serve. Surely you want a little picky. He went, uh, yeah, okay, is you're right. You're right.

And the line's just getting longer, a long and I'm, babe. I got ice creams to dip. I know, you've got the soft serve running down your arm. They're melting because you're like, I'm ready to keep pumping. I'm just licking my arm up and down like I'm in a burlesque show. You got real sexy for a bit. Thank you for that perspective. What do you think, shy?

I don't think it's for the husband. No, it's not for that. It's never for the husband. And you've been here so long. It's always for the husband. That they would know, they would know you so well and love you so much. They would be intimidated to be like how much. I don't know why, because that's not like what you're like all.

what I'm like. Yes, absolutely. I'll go, hey, I love your stuff. You're killing it. 100%. I've DM'd people because I'm like, oh, I love your content. Yes, that's the, yes. You should.

Yes. To be honest, been left on red more often than not. We'll stop DM in Kevin Hart, mate. This is Jess and Rowan. Breaking news, guys, really serious stuff. Timothy Shalamey's private chef. I believe there's a private chef. I can believe that.

I mean, he's dating a Jenna. Oscar winner, shy guy. Definitely Oscar nominee. I don't know if he's actually won the staff. He's up for a couple though. Like the Marty Supreme, he's up for one. Have you seen that? It looks fantastic.

I loved it. My girlfriend Lucy hated it, but I think she's starting to hate him. To be honest, Rowan, me too. I was never a huge Shalamanam a Bing Bong fan. But that's what Florence Pugh calls him and I love it. But he has been in the headlines for the wrong reasons lately. What have you got? What are the wrong reasons?

Well, he had to go at opera and ballet recently. And then all the opera singers and ballet dancers went, oh yeah, our craft that we've done. train our whole lives for is so much easier than you looking sad in a cardigan. Sorry, Timitay. He's getting a little big for his boots, Rowan. Hey, look, he's got it out the mud, baby. He's from the block in New York.

Oscar winner, yeah, you're no. No, he's won an actor award, whatever that is. Okay, sure. Just living his best life. Apparently, he would have, when he was on Wonka, Willie Wonka. Oh, what a stinker that was. I wasn't expecting that.

He got three breakfast and would only eat one. So the private chef would prepare him three breakfast. So maybe an omelet, French toast and Avo smash. Yep, three breakfast. He would choose one. Every morning, the other two would just go to work. Sorry, Rowan, you've got a private chef. Can you not say to the chef, I feel like poached eggs today?

That's what I would think. And then the chef whips it up. Why is the chef guessing and then wasting that much food? It was a comedian named Tom Davis. I don't remember who he was in the film, but he was on a podcast. And he said one thing that really ground my gears is that Chalamee had a personal chef. I have nothing wrong with a personal chef? No, no.

I would love a personal chef. Prepare my meals, do my dinners. Can you imagine how healthy you would be? Because they could make kale actually taste palatable. And I'd be happy to eat kale. No one would be more cut like a diamond than your boy. 100%. If you've got a chef doing it.

Oh, making all the good stuff? Sorry, I've got to put chicken salt on everything just to make it taste all right. And then I'm still fat because I'm holding all the water. Like, it's just like, what are we supposed to do? Someone had a crack about me bean dish the other day saying too much sodium. I was like, I'm not a chef. Yeah. I'm guessing, guys.

Yeah, you should give you the waggle hand, like, simmer down with the sodium broke. But with a chef, you could, oh my God, you got the world at your fingertips and he's throwing to chef made breakfast away. Yeah, yeah. So Tom, this comedian, was saying that they were having quite ropey breakfast. which must be like British for like bad. Just bad, runny eggs. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay.

And then he said he got to know Shalemay's like personal chef, he's private chef. And he said, what are you doing with Shalem? He goes, oh, well, I make him three things and he'll just pick one. Hang on. So what's happening with the other two, Shalame? Did the chef or even the comedian go, hey, the other two slinging my way? Why are they ending up in the bin? Nothing irks me more than wasting food.

But I think, but it says here, and Timberth, and then he, also said, and Timothy turned around and went, hey, man, why don't you have the other two things? Oh, okay. He needs to. So he's trying to. He's not as much of a joke because I'm paying to be able to. Throw it around. Do you want Shalomey's sloppy seconds?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. If they're chef made, sloppy seconds. Chef made. He's running around with Kylie Jenner at the moment. She's obsessed with him. It must be doing something right. I know.

It's that reedy little mustache, I reckon. He's got that white boy lean thang on him, you know what I'm saying? No, what are you saying? You pick it up and put it down, show I guy? Do you. Timotay. More like Timmy, yay. This is Jess and Rowan.

Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, we got a five at seven o'clock, and looking to do a little bit better right now on the phone is Jess. Hello, Jess. Good morning. Good morning to you. What do you want our 10 grand for? I really need some more gym equipment.

And my treadmill's about to die. I would need a new treadmill. I'd love to have a rower, maybe, like, one of those special Pilates machines. Oh, you want to reform a bed. Yeah, not that I know how to use it, but, you know, I can learn. Let's get it first. Then we get a YouTube tutorial happening. Jess, fantastic motivation.

Your letter is W for weightlifting. Okay. All right, you're ready to rock? Yeah, sure. Let's do it. Starting with the letter W, we need you to name a fabric. Pass. A book.

Wuthering Heights. An office item. Whiteboard. An adjective. Wet. A clothing brand. White stuff. A breakfast food.

Wheat bix. A US state. Washington. Something loud. Pass. A TV show. West Wing. A mythical creature.

Weirwolf. A fabric. Woo. Oh. Oh. On the bottom. Yeah, I'll give you a will. That's good.

Jesus Christ. That's a really good one. So close. Rowan. I mean, yeah, that's a nine, right? So you know what that means? Redemption round. Redemption round!

Oh my God. Oh, my God. I've got goosebumps. So for anyone who missed it, we enacted something a few weeks ago. If you get nine, you immediately get to play again. Shy guy, how do you feel? Do you have a question mark on something? Yeah.

Babs and I got eight. Oh, sorry. Do you have a question mark on clothing brand, maybe? Was that where you had a question mark, Brad? White stuff is a UK brand. White stuff. Look it up. Look it up, shy.

Oh, hang on, sorry, yes, I have eight as well. My bad. No, no, wait, well, is it... Was that the question mark? Yeah. That is a brand. We'll tick that. That's fine.

Oh. So then we missed something loud. Something loud, pass. And what was the fabric? Wool. Woo. Whoa. And wet is an ad.

Yes, it is. Wet is a describing word. Guys, we got the nod. Shy guy, new sheet. Rowan. Al-Muff. Jess, and Rowan's. Redemption around.

This is so exciting. Redemption round. Jess, we know it's a whole gym. Do you have any fuel left in the tank? I hope so. All right. Oh, I can hear. Oh, man.

Hear the nerves, Jess. I'm so nervous. Take a deep breath, babe. Take a deep breath. Okay. It's a new game. New game. Fresh questions.

Jess, the letter you will now be working with. It's the back end of the alphabet, babe. You're playing with the letter Z. Oh, come on. Okay. Hey, man. We didn't use the letter, Jess. No, no, no.

Everyone freaks out. I'm going to, I believe in you, Jess. You only need 10 words. There's actually not that many words that start with Z. You have got this. Deep breath, babe. Deep breath. Okay.

Your time. We'll start again. After the first question, Jess, are you ready? Yes. Starting with the letter Zed, we need you to name. A number. Zero. A kid's movie.

Zootopia. An international city. Pass. A fashion brand. Zara. A noun. Zipper. A periodic element.

Pass. A singer. Um, path. A male celebrity. There aren't any. An astrology term. Oh. That was terrible.

Oh my goodness. It wasn't nine. It certainly wasn't 10. I thought we were away. I thought we were away. I thought we were a redemptioning. I could not. You've been our best player.

Very good. Let's go again. One more. You don't, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, je. Could have Zurich, could have zinc for periodic element singer. Zane Malik. Zara Larson. She's trending.

And male celebrity, babe. Zuckafron. I've got one. Yeah. Zach Ephron. Yeah. Who's Zachary Levi? Great question.

Oh, what's on the sheet? One of Babbers' favorites. That's four. Well done. Jess. Sorry, we couldn't get you. Chockies, babe. Oh, my God.

But well done. Jess. Epic. Epic. You can hold your head up high. All right. Thank you. And just for everyone playing at home, that's how we do redemption round, guys.

That was so exciting. Very tense. Very tense. Oh, well. Only tense. And we're going to keep the tension going, I think, Rowan. No. Might stir up a little bit of controversy.

If you want, I like it. I've got to talk about only children next. Oh, I have experience. I know you do. Bruno Mars. This is Jess and Rowan. Only children. Present.

Yeah. Yeah, your name. Well, having one kid, yay or nay. Now, I want to preface this wrong. Just get serious really, really quickly. I understand sometimes this is not in your control. I completely understand that. I respect that and I see you if that is your circumstance.

I don't even know what my circumstance is, but I came on the record not long ago and said, I am not interested in having a second. It's too hard. Parenting is so hard. And I cannot fathom how I have another kid. Yes, my daughter's only two. a bit. Yes, things might get a bit easier when she gets a bit more independent. I understand that. But right now, I think I've got an only child on my hands.

However, there was a situation at a trampoline park recently, Rowan, where I went, am I back flipping? On the trampoline? Well, that too. Parents aren't meant to go on, but I like to play too. Fair enough. And because I go during the day, it's not that busy. Yeah, it's quiet there. pushing another kid off.

Yeah, at the jump park, I get it. I'm just having a jump. I love a bounce. Really good for the endorphins having a bounce. So I'm at the trampoline park, all right? And as I've said, my kid's two and a bit. So she's not that confident doing all the things without mummy holding her hand, helping her, trying to encourage resilience.

But at the end of the day, if I've come all this way, paid entry and you're not going to play, let me help you get up so you can at least feel like you're confident. But because I'm in amongst the stuff, I'm playing, I'm bouncing, on climbing up the rope ladder. I think some other children go, hey, are you in play? Like, my mom's sitting over there scrolling. You can be my friend too.

So I had over the course of the hour we were there a bunch of kids who were clearly only children. Sure. Clearly on their own come over and try and get on me and Lucia's playtime. Desperate for another friend. Desperate for another friend. One girl came over

and kept trying to take the trolley off me and I went, sis, I'm doing shops with Lutin. Can you go away? I said, what troll? I was like a little play trolley, gorgeous area. And grandma's walked over. I'm like, oh, well, grand's not getting on her knees and playing with the trolleys. But I just sort of went, oh, this is what people talk about. This is where they say having a sibling is obviously beneficial.

Yeah, definitely. And then it happened again on the little spinny cup thing where I'm pushing her. And then the kid comes over being like, it's my turn, spin me. And I'm like, no, I'm not your parent. I'm not spinning you. Because if you go flying, that's obviously on me. They're alone and bored. They're alone and bored.

And their parents are respecting the rules and not getting on the equipment like this big idiot over here. But I've come home and I said to Angus, there's a couple of incidents today that has made me think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we reassess? Yeah. And he said, well, funny you say that because I caught up with a mate who's just had their second. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's definitely made me feel like we're not having a second.

it's really hard having to. So he's gone the other way, whereas I'm creeping back to horns. I mean, I don't have any kids, but I think it'd be hard if you had, like, one or you had three. Like, you know? And I understand it's been done since the dawn of time. Yeah.

I get it, but I look at my friends and all my friends who had their kid similar time as me have had their second on the last friend left with one. And I kind of go, yeah, but look how hard. Look how hard it is. Well, she's only two.

She's only two. That's not long. That's not like a long period. No, exactly. So I'm an only. You are. But my old man got depression when I was like a bit over two. Okay.

So it was like three years of just not happening. And then I got to five and they went, oh, it's a bit like he's five now. It's too big of a gap. Can you? This will just do it. But I got older and they went, what the hell are we doing? Like we should have just had another one. Okay.

So I'm never there. I'm never home. I don't see him. And they're like, no, we could have it otherwise. How do you feel about being an only child? Because I, at this age and in this physical state, Rowan, my delusional mind is going, I'll always play with her. No, you won't, though.

And she'll go somewhere or she'll go traveling or she'll move away. Yeah. It's just, I don't know. I think you should have another. But, I mean, it's not my body. No, but this is the thing. I'm asking for opinions. I'm asking for your perspective.

I just think, well, would you have, but you know what's funny? In new research, I think it was out of sweet. They said the ideal age gap, five or six years. But can you imagine having a five or six year old and then going, we'll go back to baby stage? I can't even fathom it. I mean, you have to get through that, I guess. I can't imagine having a six year old who's at school and obviously independently going to the bathroom and then getting nappies and going through all that again. I don't know.

I just, I like, I don't know there's no right or wrong answer to. I may never, I might never have kids, but I'd have to. Obviously, you know, if you can. Of course, always the asterisk there. There's like twins in all of my, in dad's family. So I probably had twins to start. That's probably just how old to go. Ah.

But I bet just one is like, yeah, I kind of wish I had a brother or a sister. And again, see, my delusional mind, I go, we'll always have friends. I'm constantly calling mum and dad, which is fine. But it's like, I can't call them about like half the shit I want to talk a bit about. I just can't. It's just, I know. And I know it's so hard. I see some, I see Luchier's screaming sometimes.

And I go, oh, no. Thanks. And I think maybe I'm too, you saw it on Saturday. I think I'm too selfish. I want to get out of the house, man. Yeah. And I can drag her out of the house being one. But if there is a baby involved as well, I can't get them out of the house.

Yeah. How do people get out of the house with two kids? I mean, let alone three or more. Yeah. I mean, maybe she needs a brother or sister. I've got the dog. I'd rather get a second dog. Yeah, of course.

Because it's, why? Because it's easier. Because it's easier. 13, 1060. Yay or nay. Are you an only child from your perspective? I'd love to hear. Yeah.

Did you only have one? Do you regret it? Well, how's Angus's mate was an only child? And he was, like, desperate to have his second straight away. You're absolutely right. Because he was like, this sucks. But him growing up, his mom was like where the house everyone comes to. It's not like he grew up lonely.

Yeah, but you don't have a brother or a sister. You don't have family. Lucy, like my father, Lucy's always like, family, you choose, though. My sisters are your sisters. Like, no, they're not. They're not. That's so nice. But they're not.

It's just like they're your sisters. They're not mine. Sorry, we could be here for 10 minutes. We'll get to panic into this. Go one more point on that, though. Who's to say they'd be mates? You know what I'm saying? My brother smack me on the head with a cricket bat when we were nine and 11.

Yeah, but you're mates. Now, in our 30s. Yeah, of course you are. So what I got away 30 years for Lucia to actually become friends with her symptoms? It'll take you that long. Nah, well, maybe late 20s. I think I had to leave the house. When we're under the same roof, fighting.

Oh, yeah. I mean, also, one of my friends, him and his little brother used to fight all the time. Now they don't talk. They used to punch by them. Oh. But it happens. But you don't not have a kid. Exactly.

1310. I just love to hear some different perspectives. Yeah. Makes sense. But hey, Lucia's so cute. You should have another one. Oh, she's so cute, isn't it? Imagine a boy that looked like you and was Angus.

What if the second was not as cute? This is Jess and Rowan. We're talking about only children. Yay or nay. Only having one kid. And we do want to stress. We understand a lot of times. Things are out of your control.

And we're not taking anything away from that. my husband and I kind of made a decision, like 99% of the way, that we might be won and done and that we were very happy with that. We are so, so privileged in this life we can give our daughter that we're like, we might be done. It's hard, this parenting thing and having a second, maybe not in our cards. However, I had an incident at the trampoline park where I think there are a bunch of only children there that day, and I was just seeing them all on their own,

gravitating towards me as the big kid running amok. And then I thought, what would this be different if they had a sibling? Getting a lot of texts here, Rowan. People saying, it's not about you, Jess. What happens when you die? God forbid, appreciate that person who was like, don't want to be morbid.

She'll be on her own. To that person and the people who are saying that, I go, or she won't be alone. They're friends and whatever, yeah. Friends, family. hopefully I'm 102 when that happens and she has a family of her own. The pressure to put on a child,

I built you a bestie, always be close to them. I don't know if that's fair. Yeah, it's fair. If that was your rationale, though, I respect that. But I don't know if that's enough motivation for me. Thinking about my own death.

Oh, yeah, I don't agree. You know what I'm saying? I don't agree with that one. I think build a bestie for your bestie, but if they don't get along, whatever. Then it's a moot point, isn't it? But still, it's good. I think the built of bestie is good.

Amy, good morning to you. Hi, how are you? Yeah, couldn't be better, babe. What's your hot take? Only children, yay or nay? No. Okay. No.

Where are you coming at it from? So my firstborn never wanted a sibling. Totally against it. How old were they? Obviously, they were old enough to compute. Six. Okay. Six, yeah.

So didn't want a sibling and didn't really have a say, obviously. But now he's actually turned around to me recently instead. I'm sorry. I thought I never wanted a sibling, but I was wrong. And do you think we could have another one? Oh, now he's gunning for a third. I want a third. Oh, no, no, we're another two.

Oh, another two. Yeah. I said no, thank you. Okay. Mommy's drawn to line there. Gave you a bestie. Yep, that's done. It's interesting.

They're hearing from the kids perspective. That kid knew at six. I don't want to have to share the resources. I'm sick. I'm just to this already. Jade, good morning. Good morning. Only children. Yay or nay.

nay, sorry. You don't have to apologise. What's your take? Well, I was going down the morbid path as well. Thank you very much. I'm going to change my tune. I have two kids myself. And I will say, I know you were talking about how you don't want to get stuck in the thick of trying to get out of the house with, you know, a baby.

I will say the transition from like no kids to one kid was so much harder. than one kid to two kids because you're already doing everything and you're just adding another one to the mix and they they, they'll, I swear, the further down you get, the more self-sufficient they become. I've got friends with like three and four kids and they basically raise themselves. You'd be better at it by then as well. You'd be better at it. You basically could do a lot of it with your eyes closed.

You know what you're doing. It's just adding another body to the mix. Yeah, that's the part. That feels hard. You know, putting the prayer. together the car seat situation. Well, I heard you and Angus arguing on Saturday who'd take the child. This way, if you had two, you could just take one.

I'll take her. Ah, let's not even get into that role. And we can't be here till nine. But that's the other thing I've heard. When you've got two kids, God forbid three and then you're outnumbered. But the idea that right now I can have a bit of me time and Angus deals with one. Yeah. You've always got one each to deal with sorts of deals.

Well, you just have your me time and Angus can deal with two. Bugger him. No. Emma, hello? Oh, hello. What's your take? I've got two kids. And I've got what you said earlier.

I've got five years and five months. Okay. And I thought it was nice because I had the whole five years and five months with one. And then she was school. And then when she started school, the other one was I could do all the same, you know, all those first things with the other one. So I think it won't. They do argue.

And now they're 10 and 15 now. Oh, geez. That feels like a tumultuous time. But that's a good point. point, Emma, I guess once they're at school, you sort of then focused on one baby again. Like, all my mates who have got a two or a three-year-old have entered into the baby ear again, and that just seems so hard. Well, my mate Toddos has an 11-year-old, a 7 and a 2-year-old.

And the 11-year-old helps. Ah, see, that's nice. We're having a few messages here saying, my kid's old enough, the first one, that they help. They bring the wipes. They bring the nappies. They ask me, Mom, can I get you a cup of tea? That's unbelievable. Should we finish with Sam?

We should finish with Sam. Hello, Sam. Good morning. Good morning. Can you give me your parent stats, please? Because this is blowing me mind. I had four in four and a half years. That feels pretty hard.

That feels hard, Sam. It feels like a rushing. It feels like a rush. You're rushing to get four? How many on purpose? We did not come out all of them. Nice. Well done.

Crops to you. We did not come out a nappy for nearly eight years in a row. God damn. Let alone how we did not. It's expensive it is Sam. Oh, don't. We don't even think about it. But I will say we're now

between 11 and 15 at the moment and we don't parent at all. They're just like self-sufficient little army. I don't clean my house. They do it themselves, you know. Okay, Sam needs to write a parenting book because now I'm, maybe now I'm bored. I don't know.

I don't want to wait until 11 years to get to that. You're not doing 4-4, mate. I don't think I'm doing 4 and 4. I don't think I would do 4 and 4. I can't be outnumbered. And you know what my other issue is? I don't want a people mover. You know, the vans.

Those new care carnivals look pretty hot though, bro. I don't want to get out. This is Jess and Rowan. Hey, I saw something on the weekend. Lucy, my sweet angel partner, sent me a photo of something that she did when she was 12. Well, she had a, like, mum's house or something, was gone through old photo albums? No. Where did this photo?

Memory pop up. One of her friends sent it to her. Okay. Now, I should have found it before we went on out. Yep, got it. So. I was going to ask you. I was going to go word again if any more time.

Lucy and her sister, Jill in particular, unbelievable swimmers. If only they were taller, they'd be gold medalists. Really? A couple of tithmases. And they just, Lucy stopped swimming squad because she didn't like the people, was sick of going there twice a day. It's a hard life.

You want to be a good swimmer. Hey, man, let alone the hair washing. And my lady got them flippers. She got these big, ass feet. Don't she? She's kicking. She's not the tallest girl, but she's got big feet.

And she, and those legs kick, bro. Have you seen her? Oh, you've seen her in the water. That's a sugar plum fairy. She moves. I was doing the breaststroke the other day. She's done 15 laps around you. And she's barely moving.

She's like, look at it around. I'm trying to get some, because I figured that's good for me and my aerobic capabilities rather than running in the joints, you know. Swimming is good. It's a full body workout. Lucy said, so she sent me this message. A girl I went to school with has kids in primary school And she sent me this last night

It's a list Lucy said, I'm still a record holder At the Zone swimming What? So like representative of the school Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah She still holds a record In like the Northern Sydney catchment

I think like around That's a big catchment Oh and some, you know, some real weapons I'm looking here And sorry, she's 12 when this record was How old is she next? Now? She's...

Oh, is she one of those girls? No, she's like mid-30s. Okay. So now... Okay. How old was the record? So listen here. The 100 metres breaststroke for a 12-year-old,

Asquith girls. Sorry, that might not make sense to anyone. It doesn't make it sense to me. It's like, you've not had a lisp this whole time. So Asquith, it's a hard word, man. Who's putting an S in a Q next to it? It's not a hard word. I want to do that same school.

I went to the boys. You had to ask with girls. I was asking boys across the road. Oh, did you really? Okay, then mine. So, so I was looking at here, I was like, I was like, there's no way she's held this for so long. It says here, Lucy Mound, since 2000. So I was like, are you telling?

26 years. I was like, whoa, I was like, Lucy, shut up. Are you telling me? Speak to your sweet angel like that. Oh, out of shock. I said, you telling me, for the last 26 years, you've been the fastest 12-year-old? In the breaststroke. In breaststroke?

Now, it's not going to mean anything, but my curiosity is getting to me. How fast did she clock the 100 metre breast? One minute, 25 seconds. I don't know whether to be impressed. That, whatever. She still holds it. There's no faster, 12-year-old. Now, this is an unfair comparison.

Shiger, I can feel you Googling. Are you looking up the current world record for like a 12-year-old? For a junior? Yeah, look up for a 12-year-old. Yeah, look for, look for, yeah, because even a 16-year-old we have. So, Jill, so her sister, older sister Jill used to break all the records. And Lucy came through and she wiped him, right? Oh, it's like Kate and the other Campbell.

And all the others out. And she's telling me, she's like, oh, and they changed. And we changed the pools. There's different vibes. So they all got quicker times. I was like, oh, yeah, right. Yeah, I think if it's deeper, it's easier or opposite. Oh, she said they, instead of it being two laps, laps, they like,

halve the pool and made it easy from the push off. I was like, yeah, that's not fair, babe. Oh, yeah, but tumble turn. That's going to eat up some time. So some of these... So some of these... One minute 25 for 26 years. Fast as 12 year old.

Yeah. That would have got you family. So no one has able to get over the 12 year old. Incredible record to hold. I was like, my sweet athletic trial. Like, Lucy, we have kids. That's a superstar kid. I've always said you're there he coordinated Lucy.

And you can kick like that as well. If you get my bullshit attitude and my white line fever and your actual abilities, we might have a bit of a winner here. This kid would be unstoppable. guy, do we have a response on the record for a junior? I want to know where she compares nationally. They don't tend to report those. 12-year-olds, yeah, that makes sense.

Not even junior? What about like an under-18? I've got like rangers. So if you're swimming between a minute, 30, minute, 40, it's typical a minute 15 to a minute 25. Where Lucy's sit is national competitive level. And then under that is extremely elite. If we had cultivated this in 12-year-old Lucy, we could have had an Olympian on our hands. Yeah, she used to race against.

See Olympians. So women who went on to become Olympians, that's who Lucy was training and beating back in the day. I think she did a couple of nationals. What a sliding yours? Did a couple of nationals, I think. This is why we need to support young girls in sport better. Her sister did. And then as Lucy's coming through, Jill was like, I'm sick of this.

And Lucy's like, I'm sick of it too. And they just rolled out of it. Dad was furious. I would be furious too. I get it. This is the thing. I know we've just spoken about parenting a little bit. How do you force your kid?

You see the potential. You go, you're going to keep doing it. Well, that's what happens. They do force them and they hate their parents. But hey, then they're world champions. I look at Serena and Venus. Well, they wrote a movie about him. Mr. Richard.

I can't believe. Congratulate. There's some, no one. I want to explore. Are you hold, have you got a record at your primary school or something? Yeah. Or your high school, whatever. What record do you got?

04.881-169. Just send us a text. What record are you got? We don't even need the proof. Yeah. Most handsome boy at school. I've still got that one. Oh, yeah, you do.

On the Riverside. Hi, boys. This is Jess and Rowan. We're wrapping up for another day, everybody. You just shared that your darling, humble, queen of a girlfriend, Lucy, holds a record 26 years long. And that's just in addition to the one of her being gorgeous.

Am I right, girls? Nice, nice. 26 years, she's held the record for the Asquith girls. Sorry, primary high. Primary. Primary. 12, year six, we're talking. Yeah, not just an athlete with girls, sorry, the whole catchment, every school.

You can't write the catchment. 100 metre breaststroke. Yeah. She has yet to be eclipsed. Her niece has now gone to that school and they're like, hey, only Lucy's name on the board. Yeah, still there. That's my family.

Still there, man. We asked 04-8-8-1069. You got a record? Ed texts us now, not to poo-poo Lucy's, but she just held that record for 26 years. Yeah. Ed's brother Corey, 29 years. Okay.

He has held the record for the 11-year-old boys shot put at their primary school. Wow, man, child, just throwing the rocks around. Still stands today. Okay. That's a hell of a claim to fame. I've got to get some big dogs in. 11-year-old boys shot put since 1997. It's so impressive.

You still hold a record at your primary school, at the high school? Like, it's unbelievable. So cool. So sick. I wasn't a sporty kid. Me. Well, I was. I just wasn't really good at it.

The basketball? Yeah. Yeah. All my mates grew and then kept growing and kept growing and I didn't. Damn. No more layups for Ro Roe. Well, I'd still do the layups, but they were Duncan.

Oh, Duncan's so cool. Dylan was throwing that off the backboard, two-hand, bang. And I was like, giant, isn't it? Yeah. He's giant, isn't he? Yeah, he's like six. Yeah, he's a big guy.

He's a big boy. Anyway, thank you for excellent contributions right across the morning. Yes. I think the window for your code words close, though. We'll have more across the day. Yes, do not fret. More across the day. We're back in drive.

We're back tomorrow from six. Bye, guys. Bye, bye, bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Maca's Bestro at Bernays, Angus Range, is here. Chef's Kiss.