Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - You've got a very nice uterus

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

Jess gets a compliment at the wrong moment, Rohan rants over school holidays and we play Whats The Threesome!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Calling all K-pop demon hunter fans The Huntrix and Sartja Boys meals And now at Maccas Here we go! Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast Yes, hello everybody, welcome to the podcast Thank you for tuning in once again Thank you for following the show

Thank you for contributing, thank you for having us on in the car Thank you for the little dance you do when you hear us talk Oh my God, I love all that I particularly love Shantelle who messaged us live As you were talking about e-bikes Rowan You'll hear it in the show She had a couple of e-bike riders pull up beside her Gang members

And listen in because of you her window was down. She must have had as loud. They could hear us talking about e-bikes. Stuff them. I hope she spattered them like you said to. I must say, I don't care for the spit. But got another great text earlier in the show.

We talked about what did you inherit? Inherit. You inherited what? Morgan's text came through a little bit late, but I needed to touch on it. She needs to be in with a chance for cook her or the week. It still works. Yep, yep, yep. Morgan said, look, it wasn't the will.

But at the funeral home, we were talking about mum's crombs. So valet Morgan's mom. Valet, Val-A, Val-A. Vole, Val-A. Morgan and the siblings are there talking about it. The funeral home asked if we wanted to keep the metal parts of mum after the cremation. I'm understanding from that. Basically, they don't melt.

Yeah. Example, the prosthetic knees. You keep them for sure. That's funny. And the prosthetic knees, oh, how's this? Oh, my gosh, Morgan, the prosthetic knees are the reason she died. The surgery went very wrong. Oh, don't keep them then.

Goodness gracious. She's like, No thanks. Who's keeping that? Particularly because they were the cause of death. They're the cause of death. That's not good. They also said, and the mum said before she passed,

you could split my ashes up. Three children, we could split the ashes up into thirds. Morgan and the siblings didn't want to do it. So they have denied the mum's wishes, and they've just kept, Morgan's actually kept her. Wanted to flag this point. And Morgan, if you hear this, would love a follow-up. We didn't split her up.

She lives in my bedroom still. Yuck. I mean... If you had your mum's ashes. Not in the bedroom. Hey, yeah, keeping her in the bedroom. I mean, hey, look. If that's the only mantle you have.

Who might have, you know, talk about your election with your own mother? That's very fair. But it just feels like I'd almost want mum there to watch TV, communal space. Yeah. People maybe can say hello as they visit me. Yep. Oh, good-day, mum. Whereas in the bedroom, it's like I have to bring them into the bedroom to...

Like my brother comes over. I go, oh, that moves in the bedroom, come in... and have a look at her there? Yeah, come second. Is she in the wardrobe? Is she on the bedside table? You're nude and she's looking at you there, nude. Is she?

She can't be in the onsla. You're the husband nude. Together. Morgan? Morgan, mate. You can't be doing it. Even private time, Rowan. Solo time.

Mom's in an urn in the corner. Maybe that's how Morgan gets down. Check this out. I'm just looking good I am at this. Surely not. Maybe I don't know. How am I not to know? This is why we're asking.

Why is she in the bedroom, Morgan? Maybe I'll text her back. One of the top. people were inheriting worse sex toys. Yuck, that's, that's the worst. Shut up. The mum died and left the vibrator in the will.

I think it's more of a gag joke. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. You can have my collection of vibrators, you know? Collection. That was one. Yeah. Yuck.

Anything in your life as a 24-year-old babbs that you'd leave in a will, you think the next generation needs this. I reckon my whole record collection. Oh, that's actually amazing. I can see your family five. fighting over that. It's pretty good.

If you divvy it up, there'll be issues, who you left what to, but then if you leave it to one person, I can see the grandkids fighting over that. Well, they're expensive, so it kind of like, the money accumulates. Absolutely. Yeah. Rowan, anything you've got, that one is either of value or two that you go, this will cause some shit if I'll leave this to one person. I don't have that much stuff.

Not yet, not yet. The Yarris, not the Yarris. No one wants the Yaris. Oh, it's Lucy's. I mean, I love the Yarris. Hat collection, you got some good hat. I got a couple hats. They can have the hats to the grandkids, yeah.

They can have, yeah. My jewelry collection, I think it would be. How much is that worth, Your Wrigan? I don't know how much it's worth, but it also is a bit kooky. People might not want it. The grandkids be like, what the hell was she into? Different horses, different courses. People who like it.

My bird dress. My collection of lemon outfits. I think Lucia's going to be a big bird girl, like a big print girl. She would not enjoy the birds. I don't know, Rowan. I've forced that upon her as a child because she doesn't get to decide. But she's a very girly girl. Very girly girl.

She wanted to go to sleep in her two-to last night. Like, I didn't force her to do that. She wanted to sleep in the tutu. It's all just coming through even at such a young age. Okay. So maybe she might be printy.

She might be a big pet. She's also quite shy though. It depends on the girls. Did her handstanding gymnastics yesterday. Let's go. I'm seeing Simone Biles. I reckon she'll be a Olympian. Sweet.

Should have seen her on the rings. Shy guy. I was very impressive. Yep. I'll show you the video later. It goes for seven minutes. You have to watch the whole thing. Give me a cut down.

Okay, guys. Enjoy the podcast. Enjoy the day. Welcome. Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast. You know Jess. Angus does bedtime.

I do do doggies. You'll get to know Rowan. Me fingers are fingering. It's going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will.

That's squawking fatty. And Rowan. Ah, you like what I did it? This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good. Ah, yes, good morning. Jess to Wednesday. Oh, sorry, no, it's Thursday.

Babe, short week. How good. I would like to put it out there. Maybe we start a change.org petition. To start on a Tuesday. All public holidays should be on a Monday. Yeah, I love that. Because that way you're coming at the week on a Tuesday,

butter bing, bada boom, short week. I love that. Having a Friday off feels redundant because Friday energy is already upbeat. Yeah, it's already up and out. I don't need Fridays off. I love Fridays. You know my sweet angel Lucy, she doesn't work Thursdays. So when there's a Friday holiday or something, she's killing it.

That is crazy talk. Yeah, I know. But when it's not a Friday public holiday, because let's be real, it's not like there's that many. No. Is that a bit of a wig out for her to always have a Thursday off and then have one more working day before the weekend? I tell you what, when she starts on Friday, it feels like she's checked out. She's just sitting there like, you cares. I get it.

My mum used to have a split week and would have Wednesdays off. And I actually didn't hate that either. Just broke it up. A lot of people would rather stack their week and then have a longer weekend. But my mum loved having a little Wednesday break. She works Saturday? No, no, just Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday.

That's basically what Lucy does. Yeah, yeah. But the Wednesday, right in the middle, just shake it up a little bit. Oh, do a spot of shopping, get her eyebrows done. Oh, two more days at work. All the shops are open. No, everyone's at work. No one needs you.

Do your own thing? How does the proper worker in our society? those pushing, you know, an eight-hour shift. Yeah. How do you get any admin done? When do you go to the dentist? When do you go to the post office? That's true.

I don't understand how our society is stacked this way. I'll tell you what, when I go to Westfield and McDonald's are still serving breakfast, I do feel weird. It feels wrong, doesn't I? It does feel weird. I went and got a coffee yesterday. I got a coffee yesterday after the show. Yeah, yeah.

Because, you know, I fasted in the morning to get the blood test. And she said to me, what's on for the day? And I went, I'll finish work. Like nothing now. Yeah. Just, well, I had a few appointments, but you know what I mean? She was basically saying, oh, you got the day off? No, I've done my contribution.

Yeah, I've worked today. I've worked. And I worked very well. Thank you very much, Ms. Nurse. I did really well. I was funny and I've given my part to this society. Thank you. It's absolutely what I should have said.

I'm going to have that answer preloaded from now because I get it a lot. I get it a lot. Whenever I see anyone at 10 a.m., oh, you got the day off? No. I've been up since four. This morning, three, because a small child kicked me in the face. Oh, how? Spitting heel kick.

So I thought I did the right thing. Saved Angus. I caught her. She was stirring. I went into her room. Settle down, settle down. She always ends up bloody perpendicular to the bed head. I don't know how to.

How? Smack. She's going to kick out my two front teeth one day. She's getting strong. Anyway. Okay. Poor thing. It's been a hell of a start.

How you going with the potty training? Rowan. So we have got one full week left before we're on a little bit of professional development. That's true. We're going to take some time off. I've got a course going on in Bali. Absolutely. Steak testing.

I'm staying domestic. Okay, good, good. But I might just do some pretend move my mouse a little bit on the professional development so you think I'm working. Yep, love that. I'm locking in. We're doing the potty training. Oh, you are doing it.

I'm going to take the advice that the cookers gave. me. Bare bummer. Three days. At home, not leaving. Bear bumming it. Yep. Just every 15 minutes.

Good idea. Good idea. So lock in, gang. That's going to be a huge news when we come back from the break. Was I successful? Do you reckon she'll poo on the carpet? Probably. Will I leave it till Angus comes home to clean up?

No. Obviously I'm joking. That's a strike. That's a first strike on the marriage. He is the kind of guy that any time. Don't you think you like a way? Yeah. Strike worthy.

If your partner left the poo on the carpet for you to get home. But he's the kind of husband. I'll like tip a glass over, like accidentally and he'll go, I'll get it. Like he's an unbelievable. I don't think that implies that it. No, it doesn't. Who? No, but even, you know, he did bedtime last night.

I said, I'll take the dog out for a week. He goes, I'll do it. But if she dropped one at like 1pm and he gets home at 6 and still just sitting there at house, he would go. Hang on. I think he likes to do it. I think he likes it. No, I reckon he would still go, you could have done.

Bro, and he cooks dinner. He cooks dinner and cleans up. He likes to do it. You need to buy a fake one today and put it on the... Put on the carpet. And just see what he says. All right. So I thought you'd want to...

I left this for you. Better yet, you poo on the carpet. Wait to see if he claims it up, blam it on the trial. That is an adult boo. Blame on the child. How did that come out of her? You know what? Might be keen on her because it'd be so.

So amazed by what came out. You know what could be a fun game? Because we've got a little girl, a dog and a me. Maybe we do. Whose shit is what? Who's poo? Who's poo? Who's poo?

Who's poo? Who's poo in the zoo? Who's poo in the zoo? The radio zoo. Anyway, and Angus has to come home and go, I think it was Gianni. Wow. I have a confetti cannon. Oh, my goodness.

There'll be a wild card round. It's yours, Rowan. Oh, God. He'll never see it coming. Wow. Quite the twist. Which one is there? That one is...

No, that's disgusting. Stop it. Being silly. That has to be the dogs. What? It's Rowan. Rowan. Rohan.

Rihanna eats better than all of us. He's got that special food. Wow. How do we get here? Hey, welcome to Thursday, everybody. Welcome to Thursday. Indeed, big show. We've got a big, big, big show.

Spirm showers, we're talking about those. Absolutely. You might be interested in one. I'm definitely interested in hearing about it at least. Kids out for bucks as well. We have someone playing at 8 o'clock. That's a lot. Right. You can register your kid.hit.com.com.com.

You. Hey, man, Lawrence, yesterday got a nine. Oh, that's so good. Mate, he's already done better than most of the adults we get on. A 10 gets the kid a thousand dollars. That's right. Or if they get nine, they get like 90 bucks. That's right. We're paying the children because, you know. Well, thanks to Casey's toys. Thanks, guys. Good on them. Yes, thanks, Casey.

Next, a giant penis festival in Japan. Hello? Kanichie. Well, let's go. Talk about that next. This is Jess and Rowan. There is a giant penis festival in Japan. to help destigmatise sex. It's a big deal. The Japanese, now I'm being very,

I'm stereotyping big time here, I thought they were relatively... Wow. It's men's fatality. Not horny nation, you know. I thought they were relatively conservative. Yes, yeah. Maybe it's the right word.

There you go. Nailed it. But it's also to help bring awareness to men's fertility. Okay. There's a deeper message here from the festival. But there's a lot of, lot of, there's a lot going on in this article, so I need you just to bear with me. Let's lock in.

There's a festival called the Catamara. The Japan noises are making, distracting me a little. Thank you. No more. Or maybe just a little softer. Okay, you're all right, yeah, okay. Maybe I need to give me a waggle or something. You said that was condescending, though.

I don't know how to do it. Maybe we need some hand noises. If I did this, miming, turning a dial down. Sure. Oh, we'll do that for now. So not like that. So you would... Yeah, okay, we can go like that.

Okay. Oh, perfect. But now it feels tense. Oh, see, I think that's nice. I can lock in on you. Okay, lock in on me. This, yeah, it's got a Canamara celebration near Tokyo where people carry around a trio of giant phallic-shaped objects

as they parade through the street with glee. I enjoy... I enjoy a trio. What's with the trio? I don't actually... Trio of gongs. There's like candies and shrines and stuff. They all just hold a bunch of stuff.

Oh, a couple of straws. Get a bacheloret party through there. the bit that got me. The festival as legend has that it honours a local blacksmith in the Edo period from 1603 to 1868, who forged an iron dildo to break the teeth

of a sharp-tooth demon inhabiting a woman's vagina that had been castrating young men on their wedding nights. Wow. What sentence did you just say? It's quite the blacksmith. I actually stopped reading this Quite a demon, wouldn't you say?

So a demon has taken up residency in a young woman's downstairs. And castrating the men. And she's going around sleeping with people, I'm sure, unaware. And the demon's gone, I'll take that. Joink, yoink. Oh, like a black widow spider. You got it, except it's a black widow vagina. You know what I'm saying?

The forged dildo gets in there, breaks the teeth of said demon in the woman's vagina. Oh, so the demon's still there, but he's gummy. Cat job. Wow, this feels different. I've lost his teeth. Hang on. So is this seriously the genesis

of a whole festival to honour the blacksmith who knocked the teeth out? There's like a three metre black steel one in the courtyard of Katamaya shrine in the honouring the Shinto

deities of fertility, childbirth and protection from sexually transmitted infections. Show me that. This is desperate to see the three metre. Whoa, it just sits there. Yeah. It's like a thing.

It's a big thing. I guess it all links to fertility, doesn't it? Because if you get your Johnson bitten off, you can't spread your seed. No. So in terms of supporting the next generation of Japanese. Almost 400 years ago. I think I have a photo of the demon. Show me the demon right now.

When you say a photo on. No, it's... What the hell is that? Someone's dressed up as the demon. What's he got strapped around his groin? That looks like it hurt. It's the American Destructor. You know, that music's annoying me now, to be honest.

Okay. I thought it was soft enough. Anyway, team trip to Japan next year for the festival. Yes, please. This is Jess and Rowan. 04-8-W8-10690. If you want to get involved with the show, please text, send us a little message. Love to hear from you.

Get involved with the show. Cook at the Wake Up for grabs. Absolutely, Rowan. You were just telling us about the annual penis festival that happens in Japan. Yeah. In honour of men's fertility, fertility and fertility. general, there's a lot of phallic shape objects, but you told us the story of a demon

who inhabited the ladies downstairs and was castrating gentlemen. Someone just text us. There's a movie called teeth. It's loosely based on that demon story. Really? Look up the movie Teeth movie. Teeth movie.

Teeth movie. Thank you for that tidbit. Teeth. Worst Gynacologist's visit ever. He said loosely based. It's a horror. Horror. Horror movie.

Comedy horror. Well, bro. Anything around that would be horror. Sure. Oh, Christian abstinence group. This sounds crazy. No, thank you. Anyway, thank you for that.

It's on Amazon Brains. Thank you. Maybe we could have a little team movie night at Shard Guys' house. A musical adaptation by Anna K. Jacobs and Michael R. Jackson. Musical adaptation. Michael R. Jackson. I like that he put the R. I'm not going there.

I'm not going there. To differentiate. What are we got to talk about? Sorry. Babs, we've invited Babs in. Oh, yeah, hey, Babs. Hey. Because, you know, let's not put her in a box.

We all think, oh, she's the whimsical, fun one, the music girl. Nah. She's got another feather in her cap. And it's space. Okay. Let it build if you want Babbs. You get any time. She respects.

Feel free to talk. What did you call it again? What's this? There it is. Zathrethery. Every day, like three. I've been crying to moon-related videos. Okay, so I thought it would go.

Oh, she used to go on these hot girl walks at around 3 o'clock and just cry. Really? No, I have to go post, because it makes me feel better. I've been so invested in the moon stuff, very invested. In the Artemis. Yeah, sorry. Don't step on her toes, right? No, that's space.

It's fair enough. She'll cry, bro. No, the actual, the lap they're doing around the moon. The slingshot. Yeah, the slings shot. They're using the Earth's gravitational. Rachel pool. Anyway, there's been some really funny things that have been happening in the spacecraft. Please start. That I've seen on Instagram. Oh, yep.

This is where her news comes from. Love it. Space chat. They did the first 6-7 in space the other day. I saw them drop the 6-7. I'm pretty sure he was just having a serious conversation, but everyone on the live stream was like, first 6-7 in space. He did the hand gesture where it's like you sort of juggle your hands up and down. He was probably going, should we do this or do that? His face was like So because he went, it could be this, all that. And then the chat's gone, 6-7, 6-7.

Thousands of comments on this live stream of one of the smartest people. Well, I was going to say orbiting the world? Oh, sorry. More space bit. Yeah, put it back on. There was a jar of Nutella that just happened to, like, float across the screen in the live stream. And everyone's like, why is the Nutella in space? Apparently they just bought it with them because they like Nutella.

There was no advertising deal. But now everyone's like, wow, they're going to be kicking. himself because, you know, free advertising. I love that. There's no advertising deal. Well, I mean, it's not like they pitched it out. Did NASA send out proposals? Hey, do you want your product in Artemis 2? It could float past the streamer.

How much is that worth, you reckon? I don't know. All right. Yeah, well, Apple did it. They took iPhone 17s up and they've been taking photos on Apple products. Making TikToks out there. Oh, yeah, and they're making TikToks too. They made like an intro to the full house.

The astronaut. Yeah. They've been making. Find the aliens, guys. I don't mean to be doing, like, proper work. Stop using trending audio to get a viral hit and just go find the aliens. That'd be violent. They've got to appeal to Gen Z and look what's happened.

Do you reckon the 6-7 thing was planted? That maybe was. He's like, I'm going to just do it under the guys of having a combo. But all the young ones will latch on. Yeah, now the side going, just do this with your hands. And he goes, just do what with my hand? And they're like, oh, hit 6'7s, hit the 6'7. Babs, be honest.

Have you ever cared about what the astronauts are doing up in space? Not really. They've got the young ones. It's, I don't know, I've been feeling really existential about it, to be honest. We even watched, like, the rocket launch here. I was like, it was just really nice. It was like, go, guys. Like, you know.

But also, this is the kicker. This is the one that made me really upset. So, there was a crater on the moon that, no, listen, it's actually really sad. There was a crater that hasn't been seen before, and it's like this really light crater. And they named it after one of the crew people's, like, late wife. Wow. What was the connection there? Like one of the crew members' wife passed away a couple years ago.

And what a crater to honour her? Yeah, because it was really light and they were like, oh, you know, represents her. And I was just bawling my eyes at watching these videos. I don't know if I'd want a crater named after me. Yeah, your legacy that is left is on a planet that is not on Earth. Yeah, on a moon, a crater. He literally gave her the moon, you know? Oh, well, that's nice.

I like that. I wasn't really sad. Sorry. Oh, my God, he gave her the moon week. The moon. Oh, tomorrow's banger theme, spoiler alert. Oh. Songs that NASA wakes up the astronauts to.

Oh, yeah. They'll give you a list. You can pick one. Really? There's an actual song. Like, Chapel Rome broke them up this morning. Yeah. People hate her.

I thought they were saying like what we would wake up. They're taking photos of her? Stop it. Okay. Wow. Yeah. Well, thank you for the update. That's okay.

And keep us updated if Nutella does end up just retroactively giving NASA some sponsorship money. Lots. Where are they coming back? I've no idea. Okay. I hope they don't. I just want them to stay. We're going to need a longer space bench.

Much longer. This is Jess and Rowan. We just actually learned that the space people come back. Astronauts doing good work. Space people. I very much enjoy space people. The space people come back tomorrow. The incredibly highly intelligent, superbly trained astronauts.

Dropping six sevens and throwing Natella around in the... Trying to get... Because remember the Winter Olympian, the Dutch chick, who, like, opened her speed suit and then she was wearing a Nike even though they're sponsored by Fila. And everyone's going, Nike's going to give her a million dollars now. I love that. I wonder if Nike ever did, but I think that's what they're doing with Atella. Wasn't a sponsorship, but Natella, did you see that? Yeah, I get a million bucks.

But yeah, when did they come back? Tomorrow, apparently. So bad. 807 American Eastern. You said that was splashdown time. That's splashdown. Because they land in the ocean. They have to, yeah.

They splash down. They splash down. And it's not a reusable one, like old mate Elon's trying to make. Elon has made parts. Well, the whole point of this mission was to test coming and going to go to the moon. Well, okay. Potentially, you can reusable. So if the splash down is smooth, same rocket might end up going back up.

Potentially. There you go. So sorry, 807 American time. I think it would be like Saturday and midday for us, I think. So we'll cover it on Monday. Wouldn't that be exciting though? If we were on air when the splashdown occurred, we'd give you a rolling coverage. It's quite, it's a big risk coming back into the atmosphere, isn't that?

It's the hardest part. Because it's so hot, I guess, tens of thousands of degrees. And that's where they mark up. On the way in. That's the worst part. Yeah, that's where they like. Babs has been crying because one of them named the crater on a mooner for a wife. Imagine if... Jen.

Something goes wrong. Yeah, what was her name? That's the Jen Crater. You told us that, but never told us her name. Carol. No, it's not. He's still upset. Is that a bit?

No, her name's Carol. It's the Carol Crater. Carol the Crater. Imagine getting home. Oh, she's... No, she's past. That's my bad. That wasn't a joke.

Imagine getting home and telling her about it. Is that what you were going to say? I named a crater after you? I named a crater. It's like, you know, when they find a new species of worm and they go, we called her David Beckham. It's like, don't do that. Don't do that.

Does he want a worm name after him? Someone names the spider named after Chris Hemsworth. Does he want a spider? Now, I know Carol's dead, but do you think Carol would be okay with a crater being named after? My point was earlier. I don't think I'd want a crate. No, you can just be like... I'll take a park or a tree.

A bench in the park. I'd love a bit. Oh, they talk about making me cry when you see the little plaque on the bench. In memory of Bob and Jan who sat here and watched their grandchildren play. I bet when they go up there, they won't even know what the crater is. I'll go, which one was it again? What, 100%. How do you differentiate craters?

The dark side decide we never get to see. The dark side of the moon. Well, that's the ones that went around. Yeah, they went around the moon. Is that where the crater? That's where they... Because the aliens are sitting. No?

Does the moon kind of spin? I don't think the moon's... Wait. Space girl? Does the moon spin? I don't know logistics. I thought we... I don't actually know.

We move around it. I think it's all moving. I think the sun is the only stationary. 0.4.W.A. 169 if you know. Oh, my God. Do we have any astronauts? Oh, okay. They're on the moon right now.

There are some grounded. Listener up on the moon, eh? I can't all be up on the moon. Wi-Fi works. This is Jess and Rowan. I felt like I'd won 10 grand yesterday, Rowan. Oh, really? Not in physical cash, but in compliment form.

Wow, that must be a good one. Part of my body was complimented. That in my nearly 35 years has never been complimented before. Really? And I must say, wow, did it make me feel good? Like your wrist or something? No one has ever complimented my wrist, but it wasn't said wrist. You want to compliment my wrist this morning?

Do you think they're worthy of a compliment? They're pretty stock standard. Lovely and dainty. A sweet wrist. It is a sweet wrist. Thank you so much. Okay, well now I'm just riding extra high. Are you blushing?

I am. It's the actual blush I'm wearing. I told you I'm elevating. Sorry, yeah, I've seen it. Yesterday was a bit of a rough trot, Rowan. I did fill you in off air. Had a few medical things going on. Had to duck straight out of here, get a blood test.

From there, I had to go get a hole to monitor removed from a very sassy dude at the pathology place. Was he sassy? He was sassing me, bro. He was giving me crap for getting the ECG at a different pathology place. I'm like, does it matter, sir? Like, I just needed to get in where I could get in. He goes, you can't do them at different places. Well, I did. So what am I supposed to do? What do you want? Sorry, I didn't want to wait three weeks to get the monitor from you. I had to go somewhere else. Losea. Anywho. So there was a few things on.

Including late afternoon, an internal ultrasound, my friend. Now that is something you don't wish upon anyone. It is just exactly as awful as you think it's going to be. Internal. Internal, bro. Ultrasound. You might be familiar. Have you ever had an ultrasound before? Where they obviously scan your tongue or your digestive track, anything like that?

On my ankle? You can get an ultrasound on your ankle? My ligaments and stuff? Yeah, absolutely. Where they obviously drag the camera externally over your body. Because I'm having some issues, well, they're vague, that potentially refer to the lady stuff. Oh, right. So that end.

The GP said, clearer image. We go internal. Sit down there. Right, oh, sis, no worries. You do what needs to be done. I'm lying there with a full bladder, mind you, because they try and blow up your bladder to make sure they don't confuse it with another organ.

Blow it up. As in, drink lots of water. Oh, we know that one's the bladder. Full, full, full. No, I know full. I just want to show if it was air or it was like water. They stick a bike pump up in. Sorry, in the lead-up, I have to blow up my own bladder.

So I gives a clearer image of ovaries, uterus. Yeah, it makes sense. Anyway, so full blood, she's pushing down. She goes, all right, Jess. Firstly, I made a real big boo-boo. That's for the external one. You blow up the bladder with a good dose of liquid beforehand. But after we go internal, she says, all right, well, sorry, before we go internal,

she says, all right, we're going to go internal now. I'll show you where the bathroom is, which is across the lobby around the corner. I thought she wanted me to get chumel. change there and waddle back. I went, sorry, do I have to walk past everyone with no pants on? She went, no, no, no, I need you to empty your bladder. Come back and then take your pants on. I went, Jesus, lucky, I clarified that.

Come back, she gets me all comfortable. Does the insertion. Yeah, okay, yeah. I can feel the thing clicking and buzzing. Yeah, because she's taking pictures. That's what an internal. Like a cannon. Kind of.

It's like a, yeah. It's to the R5 up there. It was weird, man. tried to take myself to a happy place. And then she hits me with a... She got a very nice uterus. What you mean? I don't know.

How does that, what, like, shape nicely? No idea. Smooth? Like, what is it? I have no idea. What I'm hearing is... Good size? No, you know, maybe I should have asked for more specifics,

but I, in that vulnerable moment, I think I needed to hear something nice. Even if she was lying, she said, oh, nice uterus. What did you say? Hey, hey, hey. I literally said, thank you so much. I've never heard that before. And then it was over.

But I've got a nice uterus, boys. It just made me feel pretty good about myself. What does a bad uterus look like? Oh, that's probably something you don't want to find out, do you? Yeah. You know what I mean? And then afterwards, I was like, can you actually see anything that would indicate why I had this really severe pain, why I might be feeling a bit off?

She said, I'm not a doctor. And I know they're not allowed to say it, but she goes, but remember, nice uterus. Not a doctor. That's a white. She's a loud of, but she's a nurse. Yeah, well, she can't give the results. To be honest, I don't even know if nurse is technically the right. She's, she's an ultrasound technician. Like, I think that's a specific, you know, radiographers.

Yeah, yeah, sorry. I think she's an ultrasound expert. Nice uterus. Nice uterus. People in, and she, how often is she given that out? Well, I'm going to assume, for the sake of me holding on to this nice feeling, not very often. Because they would know uteruses. She would know uteruses.

Like I know headphones. I know good headphones. I believe you as a wrist expert now. I'm going to take that compliment. Lots of wrist. Rowan knows a good wrist. This lady told me I had a nice uterus. What are you good for?

Shy guy? Nothing. All right, if you're giving compliments, it doesn't mean anything. No compliments. Well, you know I have a nice uterus now. So, I'm looking particularly nice. I'm so glad I don't know that knowledge now. Writs girls, good with uterus.

This is Jess and Rowan. Yesterday, I went to the male Sephora. What do you reckon that is? The male Sephora. I don't think you mean a place where dudes get makeup and skincare. Well, just go to Sephora if that's the case, guys. Well, that's exactly. They have a lot of men's stuff. I think an equivalent

place, oh, Bunnings comes to mind. Yeah, didn't go to Bunnings. Mine to 10, one of those sort of places that sell wood and nails and epoxy. I saw a TikTok the other day that I thought that's kind of nonsense, but maybe that's me. And it was just a guy walking through

maybe like Harvey Norman. Oh, yeah. Looking at TVs. Oh, yeah. And I was like, I do that all the time. Was he saying that's the male Sephora? It was just a trending audio, but it just said, leave him be. This is his Sephora.

Oh, I like that. And he's just looking at here with it. So I'm at Westfield yesterday. And walking around, I go into J.B. Hi-Fi. Oh, yes, that should have been my next guess. And I just went, can I help you? No, no, no, thanks.

Game consoles, DVDs. I would have probably just walked around from the cameras to the game consoles for about 25 minutes with no intention of buying anything, just looking, just looking around. And I was happy. And I was joyful. The male Sephora. Because I do this in the mechas and the Sephora's, the W cosmetics, the Adore beauties. Don't really have anything. I keep a running notes on my phone.

Like if my primer starts running low, I, I, I write primer down. I don't like to buy one thing at a time. I like to do a bulk. But I like Jamie Halfa because I like all the game stuff, but I also like all the TVs. Yes. But you're just a techie kind of guy,

so I'm sure you even peruse the blenders and the air fries. No, I love checking it out. What's the latest in toaster technology? Maybe I could get one of them ninja double barrel, two drawer air fries. Lucy won't be happy with those. Do I need a ninja creamy? No, but maybe I want.

This one has a soft serve. Looks like it's gambling. I don't really gamble, but I can get down with a pulling it down for a foster. Is that a slot machine? No, it's not. It makes gelato. It's nicer for me. I like that. And I also like the premise of leave him be. Leave him be. You know, when you go to shopping with your partner and maybe she wants to try a few things on,

and there's the husband chair. Oh, I sit the husband chair. And then, you know, three guys are sitting there scrolling on their phone with a bunch of bags at their feet waiting for the wife to come out and do a fashion show. I do one of two things. Is there a wife chair at J.B? No, it's just near me where she's just near me where she's. stands up with her arms crossed. Tapping her toe.

She says, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, if we're going to get a $6,000 TV, we probably have to earn her, have an owner and house first, don't you reckon, Rowan? Don't you reckon, Rowan? I think you need to work a little harder, Rowan. I don't know about that husband chair either.

I try not to sit on that. You try not to. I do sometimes, I do get tired. She's taking 15 garments into the change room. You need to sit. I like to pretend I'm the sassy fashion designer. I like to pretend I'm literally your mate Kate Cola. I try to go, come out.

Turn, spin. Frumpy. No, that shape on you. Try again. I go, wait. All that's it. I go in there and go, try it again. Or I go, babe.

Slave. Giving hot. Yeah, that's nice. She goes, I don't like it. And I go, me either. Get out. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit.

Yes. The kids, Alfa bucks are 8 o'clock. But right now we go to Heather to play for $10,000 at 7. Hello to you, Heather. Good morning. Good morning, morning. Love the name, Heather. What would you like to spend our $10,000 on, babe?

I'd love to get a spa at the back for winter. Bring it on, the Aussie dream. Jacuzzi, Heather? Yeah. Are you in the husband? Are you under water at the moment? You sound very far away. Oh, I feel like, I'm sorry.

That's okay. Are you on speaker or anything like that? I just don't want to miss a beat. I turned up my volume. Sorry, my volume. Oh, my God. She's so clear now. There you go.

She's gotten out of the chikuzzi. I appreciate that. She's really manifesting. They're really manifesting. You've got 10,000 bucks to win, babe. All right, Heather, let's lock in. You've got a solid letter, and we believe in you. Your letter is R, Ar, Arfraidox.

Arfer Rowan. I'm trying to think of things you could put in the spa. I'm fine, yeah. I mean, you can put Rowan in the spa. Maybe Heather will invite us around. Oh, Rowan's in the spa. Of course. I'd love to.

Well, I mean, you know, he had a hand in giving you $10,000. Maybe he deserves a little soak. A couple of jets. In sensitive areas. Heather. Whoa. That's nice. It's actually what I like.

You know, lower back. It's nice getting a jet right there. That's what I made it for. I thought you meant the hot. That's what I know where your mind went, you filthy pig. Heather. Yes, you do. Lock in, Heather, stop gilling.

Heather, lock in. It's serious business. Heather, just because I like the jets on places on my body that I know you probably like them on my back. Yeah, Heather likes it on the back. Sure. Funny thing that my back is, it's located. Do you remember, all right, do you remember what the letter was?

Oh. Good. Your time will start after the first. Arr, me, hurriedy. Heather, we need you to do questions and answers. Not the bits. I've got a hell of a pirate joke, but we'll be here too long. I'm heading.

Okay. I won't. Heather, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter R, we need you to name. Sport. Rugby. A cereal. Pass.

A bird. Rosella. An animated TV show. Rugrats. An Australian city. Rockhampton. A shape. Rombus.

A verb. A verb. Run. A celebrity. Wine red oaks. An ice cream flavour. Rocky Road. Something you read.

Oh, God. Oh. Damn. She was good. I'll tell you what, Heather, you kept it locked. You kept it locked. That was really good. Oh, eight.

I got eight there. I got eight too. Oh. Something you read, a little bit, you know. Oh, maybe out of the box. Recipe, report. Romance, novel. Serial.

Raisin brand. Rice and brain. Rice bubbles. It came back. Oh, so you would have got to it. Oh. You were good, Heather. No one gets verb.

She got verb, Rowan. I've been practicing verbs. have verbs and they are. Nice. Well done, because again, no one knows that and you need to know that. You need to know them. How you win. It's good to teach the kids. It is good to teach the kids. And the adults too, because no adults have been able to get it correct. Literally, no. Heather. Well, thanks for the fun, Heather. Oh, you know, if Heather had got nine, we would have done redemption round. I reckon she would have done it.

Then you could have done your pirate jokes about your time. I could have done my party. I could have all right, Heather. Damn, no spa for her. Oh, well, she might buy her own spa, but we're not invited. Have you already got a spa? Maybe you get a little jacuzzi spa out there already. You just get your husband under the water to blow the bubbles. Blow the bubbles, not hurt. Excuse me. Okay, moving on, guys.

Never mind. Thanks, Heather. Bye. Love you, Heather. Bye. Are you okay? Yeah, just a spa. Shouldn't put your head under because your hair gets caught in jets.

It's very bad. Very bad. Okay, here's Kato. This is Jess and Rowan. Hey, Rowan. Hey, Jen. I want to go to Brisbane for this next story, but I'd really like to set the scene. Could you take us to Brisbane, please?

Absolutely. Yep. It's not the right one. Of course, the birthplace of my favourite Australian band. Really? Shepard. Family band. You like these guys more than like Powderfinger?

Yep. Come on. All right, cool. I'll always brag on Shepard. I do love the guys. You know, they posted the other day. I think they were on tour in Europe somewhere and only like 16 people came to the gig.

That feels right. Oh, no. That made you so sad. And they were like, we push through because we will perform for these 16. But, you know, the highs and lows. When I love you guys, if I was in Amsterdam, I would have come. If there's 16 people there, they may as well have got on stage with them.

I think they ended up doing it. Go, just get up for you guys. We're in Brisbane, Rowan, because a woman, a young woman, 23-year-old has gone. on viral. Makes sense. After just having it up to here with her parents and family members questioning why she's still single.

I want a flag. She's 23. Let's get off her back, all right? Leave her alone. Leave her alone. She's living her best life, all right? But she was absolutely sick of it and she had a family wedding coming up. So she said, I don't want to deal with another round of interrogation.

When are you going to settle down? Where's your partner? Why haven't you got a boyfriend? Yeah, yeah. So she hired a boy. boyfriend. Awesome. For $250, where did she pick this bloke up?

Oh, she took to Reddit and asked for hire a date recommendations. Awesome. Awesome. So she found this guy from a small service that isn't named. I reckon they deserve a bit of a shout out because apparently this bloke was fantastic. For $250, they had a pre-event meetup where he went over the backstory and they worked out some details. So when the parents and the family, the nosy uncle asked, Oh, where'd you guys meet?

They had all these things on lock. Smart. Yep, yep, yep. Unfortunately, it went so well. The family are now hounding her. When are you going to settle down with this bloke? They love him so much. It's kind of backfired.

She hasn't really gone on to say if she's caught the feelings for him, but she goes, it was actually a freaking awesome experience. Really? It's like my dream. I'd love to do that. The father even bought him a nice box. of gin, well, committed to buying the father a nice bottle of gin. Nice.

It's amazing. Spent 25 minutes talking to one of my uncles about the Reagan administration. So this bloke had great chit-chat up his sleeve. I'm guessing you'd have to if you were doing a job like this. You're basically improvving. Just a couple of, you just need the quick little ins. Like, oh, yeah, we met at the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, how's this?

And you move off it. Absolutely. Because realistically, you could say you met on one of the apps. Totally. Too much to dig down. Look good. Unless you come to dinner with me where I will ask you 5,000 questions, what was the picture that lured you in, what was one of the proms.

Unless you face someone like me, you could get away with it, particularly at a wedding where so much is going on. Tough pool, tough pool getting sat next to you because it is on. You will win. She'll break for the CIA. You'll break them. Tough bull. She's nice afterwards.

She knows everything about me. Why did I tell her my pin number? Shut up. Stop asking me questions. Oh my God, another one. But anyway, so what do you say? You would love to do this, as in B, the bloke. Yeah, man, I'd love to do this.

Yeah, I would have loved. I would love to do that. Because you're charismatic, have good chit-chat, you'd schmooze the auntie, getting good with the dad. When I was young, if I was in my 20s, I was mad for a go there by myself. Because I normally knew one or two people. Yes. And then I got to meet another 10 or whatever, at least.

Do you have, I'm putting you on the spot here, good icebreaker. Like, if you are in this situation, maybe there's people out there. Hey, Babs. single, play in the field. You know, when she goes into a new room, how best to ingratiate yourself with a new group of people? The best way you ingratiate yourself. Because I used to, when we were working together in Melbourne, I used to go to all those things

that no one wanted, like the breakfast show, Matt Michelle, then I want to go to. So I would go as this new, like, little loser. So I would go and I would just go past people. What you had to do is you would go into the, into the, said room, and you would start shooting gear at everyone. I love that. You make eye contact. You've got to say something about them.

But keep it moving. Don't stop. And then you do a bit of a lap. Just a drive-by. Yeah, drive-bys. Not-stop drive-bys. And then eventually you'll pick out who is the nicer, easier to get along with. Or even another charismatic big personality.

And maybe they're there by themselves that didn't have quite the knack to get. Now you've got two. Or maybe you're one of four. You build a little room. And you're on. You're off. You're away. Because I go to a lot of these and I see a lot of the networking events.

And you do see those people who are there by themselves in a blazer. They look nice. And they're on a mission. Don't stand still. You can't stand still by yourself, guys. Don't stand still. Don't just walk up to a group. What are we talking about?

You might not know. They might all know each other from the industry. You've got to have something new to you. And now you're the weirdo by yourself talking to these nine people. Derailing. Like, where's this guy, I'm a magician? Get out of here. Yes.

Well, that's actually not a bad one. I've learned to juggle. Do we have just a little card trick up our sleeve to be like, hello everyone? Just got three balls in her purse. Oh, no, don't on. Hey, guys, what are we talking about? Who cares? You want to see me juggles?

The chick for the radio? You know that she was a clown? Pull out me nose. This is Jess and Rowan. Maca's delicious bistro. New bistro Bernays, Angus Range with 100% Aussie Angus beef and creamy bernay's sauce. Oh, compliments to the chef.

Haven't had one of those yet? Chef, you're gorgeous. Take that as a compliment. Take that, chef. Nice uterus, chef. It's like the compliment I got yesterday. Can't be telling the chefs about his youth. Why? It says compliments to the chef.

Why can't I compliment him or her on the? something other than the food? Well, you haven't seen the uterus. How do you know that it's nice? That's true. I have to take my sonographer training. Sit down here. Show me your uterus.

Justin Rowans. What's the three sign? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. If you miss that conversation, that felt really curious. You can catch up on the podcast.

Someone complimented my uterus yesterday. But that is in the past. Looking very usual today? Like, what do you? Someone texts us being like, they're not ultrasound people, Jess. They're called sonography. Thank you for that.

I apologize if I offended any of the sonographers. I hit my hand on the desk and I heard it. Yeah, what did Jace tell you about the hit the desk? It was an accident. My hands was flying everywhere. He's an energetic guy. So before we just let everyone know that Babbs was trying to cheat for this game, what's the threesome?

You're on such thin ice girlfriend. Oh, where am I not? Cheater. Big cheater. I'm not. I'm going to get the Olympic. Who are the people who banned Russia from competing that year? We got to get them on to Babs.

It's the same. stuff. I love that. I want to test her urine. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Well. So I can't get us back on track.

Okay. I'm going to name three things. They all have one thing in common. Under my discretion, you need to tell me what that thing is. Whatever. Cool. First one. Lady Gaga, Harry Styles, Justin Timberlake.

Number one. No. They all turn. Oh, no, Justin's been too important. All stung for D-U-I? Have they all been in films? What's Bieber been in? What's Bieber been in?

No, Timberlake. Timberlake. Oh, possibly. Sorry. Who did you say? Lady Gaga, Harry Stiles, Justin Timberlake. Something about awards? Babs was closest. In a film.

Film franchise? Oh, they had the lead song for the movie. Like Star is born. Yeah, whatever that other. Can't feel, whatever. You know what I'm, I don't know what the word. I don't know how to describe it. They had the soundtrack to a highly grossing movie.

What was Harry Styles? He was, he did that song for, oh, I had it. Actually, I don't know what that one is. Anyway, are you going to actually answer one, by the way, just because you know all the answers. She'll let us have one each and then you come sweep us up. He did something for Eternals. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Eternals, yeah, the one he was in with Angelina. Next one. Point to Rowan. Thank you. Ferrari, Ducati, Vespa. Italian motor vehicle, fast, expensive luxury. I'll give it to you. Italian motoring brand.

Ah, okay. That's close. Thank you. Under my discretion. Now we've got one. Here she comes. Thank you, Shy Guy. A password, a pin and your fingerprint.

Facial, no. Security measures to get into things. Two. Devices. Keep going. To unlock your device. No, not what I'm not called. Password, pin and facial recognition.

I'll give it to back. Of course you will. It's a thick. No, she got that fair and square. No, I bet she did. Oh, no, no. We don't deny that the answer was correct, shy guy. But how did she get that answer?

My brain. Cheated. I'll see how she goes here. Shrek, Hulk and the Mars. Green, green, green, green. She had it first. I think Rowan. Thank you, Ido too.

Okay, Rowan with the point. Good speed. Thank you. Speedy boy. Penn's running out. Okay. Have this one. 7, 11, 13.

Prime numbers. They're all prime numbers. Yes, they are, Jess. Thanks for giving me that one, bad. Oh, my God. Very nice of you. Cinderella, Harry Potter, Spider-Man. Bill.

All fantasy things. Something about, you know, he lived under the stairs. They all live weird places. Oh, they're all. Shy guy, look at this. Score update. Two of Pete's next point wins. Just for fun, I'm going to pick this one.

Justin Bieber, Sabrina Carpenter, Teddy Swims. All playing at Cicella? They're all playing at Cichella. Oh, what a surprise. Sabrina, you can watch it on YouTube 205 p.m. 10.30 a.m. And Bieber at 4.30 on Sunday. You guys are just jealous because they're all. I'm good at this game.

There's no denying you're good at it because you have the answers preloaded. I don't. I was watching the sunrise. Well done, bass. I'll be honest. I went out there before and I said, well, even this weekend. And you look like you were doing this. This is Jess and Rowan.

I have been sent the same couple of videos upwards of 20 times, Rowan. There is a trend where the name Jessica is being used to freak people out. And I don't know how to feel about it. Because a couple of months ago, there was that report released that Jessica was the millennial name and equivalent for Karen. Oh, really? Didn't love that. And now I don't know if I love this. And as one of the more vocal, Jessica, I want to take a stand.

You are vocal. I'm a vocal, Jessica. And I've got to speak up for the millions of other Jesses. For sure. There is a trend going around, Rowan, on how to stop your kid mid-tantrum. Okay. Okay. Yep.

And it is apparently, I don't know if it's scientifically proven, but people are now filming themselves mid-tantrum of their kid, yelling out the name, Jessica! And apparently, yelling out of random name, kind of discombobulates and confuses the kids so much, they snap out of the tantrum. Smart. I don't know why people have latched onto the name, Jessica.

There's three syllables, Jessica. Jessica. But, like, why not? Why not Katrina? Like, there are other three syllable names. In fact, one syllable name might. I think the idea is to confuse the kid, but for some reason, the name Jessica has caught fire.

Here's one example for you. Jessica. Jessica. The kid immediately, immediately storms. I have another example for you, Rowan. Okay, another one here, yeah. Jessica. Jessica.

I mean, where is she? I know. Who's Jessica? Where is Jessica? Are you serious? Yeah. See, Jessica, where are you? The kid was losing it and then magically actually is curious now.

I don't have to work with your kid though because your name's Jessica. And she knows that because we've taught her when we wait for the coffee, we're listening for the name, Jess. So she knows, well, she's never heard Jessica maybe in its full. But this is the thing, Rowan. Not just children who are losing it. get snapped out of it by you yelling the name Jessica. Someone tried it with their dog.

Jessica? Jessica? Stop mucking around. Jessica. New friend. Jessica. Who the hell is Jessica? And when did she come into the house?

I didn't notice the dog is thinking. So you don't like the fact they're using Jessica? I don't like the fact they're using Jessica because a lot of them, that's just three examples, wrong. There are hundreds on the internet. Some people are really quite forceful. with it to obviously come over the top of their tantruming child. And I just feel like that's some negativity around this creepy person called Jessica, who's in the room but the kid can't see, remember?

It's so confusing that they just stop whatever they're doing. Yes, I think we're going to imbibe the next generation with being fearful or cautious around people named Jessica. Jessica? Where is she, Jessica? Is she in the corner? Is she under the bed? Why can't I see her?

I think the name is dying out anyway. It was obviously huge in the 90s. Jessica, Jessica. Went to school with 15 other Jessica's, let alone six other Jessica Lees. Oh. But anyway, that's a little trend. And hey, it's caught fire beyond me. Are you going to use it?

If you need, well, I don't think Jessica will. You can't. Jessica can't use Jessica. But maybe I try, maybe I'll just start yelling Rowan. Just start yelling Rowan. And every time I say your name, Lucia immediately goes, big bucket of soup. So it might be more of a call and response to snap her out of tantrum. This is Jess and Rowan.

I just want to circle back quickly to something that was. I guess discussed on this show role. It was left open-ended, even with the Four Brains Trust in here. What was it? There was a gap in our knowledge. Ours? No way. About the moon and the stuff going on in space at the moment.

Space stuff, yeah. That crew on Artemis 2, who are officially the furthest people who have ever been from planet Earth. Babs was running us through all the things that have made her cry through the journey of these people being in space. Like the tel are floating in the space. Yep. And that a crater was named after one. of the astronaut's late wife. We've got Carol the crater in her honor.

I'd love to hear from Carol. I know she's past. Dead. She's dead. No, I'm saying. Does she like that? I don't think that's a compliment. Get a Ouija board out.

Find out if Carol's keen. There was another tidbit you wanted to share, Babs. Another thing that made you cry. You forgot to mention. Oh, and I don't even remember what it was. Something about the photograph. Oh, yeah. They were taking photos of Earth.

And then people were commenting and saying, oh my God, we're in this photo and we don't even know. That's extremely babbs. That's so babbs coded. But we were talking about, shy guy, you flagged. What do you mean there's a side of the moon we've never seen? We call it the dark side of the moon. Mick text us. Mick knows stuff.

Hit breakfast. He addressed us. Hi, Mick. The moon rotates on its axis very slowly. Right. The same rate that it orbits Earth. Because shy guy flagged isn't the moon stationary. I thought if it was the dark side, that's the side we'd never see him.

We move around it like the sun. That means the same side. The same side of the moon is always facing us because it's like we're twirling and perfect. Synchronization. That's why it's the dark side of the moon. It refers to mysterious things. The mysterious side of the moon, we're like dance partners and we never see each other's backs. Thank you, Mick.

Thank you, Mick. There you go. I reckon Mick does for a crutch. Oh, that's a great question. Is this just a hobby or is Mick a spaceman? Mick a space guy? Can you right back and see if Mick's actually doing something? Space Stuff for 11?

What do you? I will. What do you do? What do you do? With yourself. Because Mick, I can see our history. Mick has never text the show before. Oh, thank you, Mick.

Has been compelled to message us based on our lack of not. We need Mick on our trivia team because that's the one area. The one, the only area. Oh, we're screwed. We're screwed for space stuff. We're screwed for space stuff, clearly. Babs is doing a beer. Well, still screwed.

But she's not retaining it. Still screwed. Still screwed. Still screwed. This is Jess and Rowan. School holiday toys, games, hobbies and collectives. Search Casey's toys. Jess and Rowan's.

Alpha bucks kids. Absolutely alpha bucks kids. We're doing it. All thanks to Casey's toys, you kick him in a thousand bucks. Hit.com.org. You registered them there. We have Henry playing this morning. Good day, Hen.

Hello. Henry, how old are you? I'm 10, nearly 11. Sneal 11. And what would you like to spend $1,000 on? I would like to spend the money on a pet turtle. Sick, me too. Fantastic.

How much is a turtle run you, Henry? Don't know. We'll figure it out, mate. Henry, have we thought about names for our pet turtle? No. Okay, if I can offer you some suggestions, you might want to think about... Just give me a name, Henry. What do you reckon?

Yeah, any name. Timmy. All right. Timmy, the turtle is amazing name. If you had said, limmy... That would have been better because his letter's L. Okay, yeah. Your letter is L, Henry.

You're happy with that? Yep. And if you win the $1,000, you have to call your turtle Limmy the turtle, all right? Okay. Okay. You can do whatever you want. Your time starts after the first question.

All right, here we go, we go. Ready, Henry? Yep. Starting with the letter L, we need you to name. A lolly. Liquorish. A salad ingredient. Lettuce.

A Mario character. Lou Geuizu. Something you write. Lead pencil. An animal. Leopard. A body part. Leg.

A job. Librarian. Something bright. Light. A boy's name. Leo. Something sour. Lollies.

Mmm. What do you reckon? I don't know about lead pencil. I didn't say something you write with. I said something you write. Oh, do you think it's... So I don't... Shy guy, you have to be the bad guy.

Shy guy? I mean, what did you say? Something you write? I said something you write and Henry said lead pencil, which would have been something you write with. I don't know how to warp that. Something you write. You write a lead pencil.

Shy guy, you're the AP. Sorry, Henry. Oh, no. 90 bucks though. Oh, that's not going to go to a turtle. You know what it can go into, Rowan? A long-term savings account, high interest. Sorry, brother.

Henry, we were looking for letter. Close. Very close. You were fantastic. You know, we don't get adults who can do nine. And you're 10, nearly 11. And you got nine. And you still get $90, my friend.

Common species of turtles range from $20 to $69 at pet stores. Could get five turtles, Henry. Almost. Almost. Mom will do it. Four and a half. Four and a half turtles. Why don't you get four and then get us some food?

Yep, good idea. Henry, thank you so much for joining the show. If you would like your kid to have a crack, mate. We had Lawrence with a nine, Henry with a nine. We might get a 10 by the end of the week, Rowan. School hall, our toys, games, hobbies, and collectibles search Casey's Toyshit.com. Register yourself. We're looking for the 10 for Alpha Bucks Kids.

This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan, a lot of hate coming through for a shy guy on the text line. shy guy. Yeah, because he denied Henry, the lead pencil. Rules of rules, Henry, sorry. We got a text here. I back you there. I'm with you.

We got a text year. My hand's getting sore. How could you? How could you? How could you, I don't know if you're going to recover from that one. How could you? But use that text line, 04,0008, 28-1069. Or, if you want to have a chinwag, 131060s, our phone number.

Just writes back to you. I'll always write back on the text. Yep. And I'll talk. you if you call. You inherited what? You inherited what? They left you.

What? What you got left in the wheel? Sorry for your loss, of course. But someone left you something fantastical in the will or something a little bit of a head scratcher. A man in North Yorkshire. I think we're in the UK for this one, right? Oh, lovely. Okay.

His name's Jonathan Hardwick. He's gone viral. Because his father, God. God rest Stan's soul. His dad's Stan. Left his son, 500 lawnmowers. That's too many lawnmowers.

That's a lot of lawnmowers. I mean, to be fair, the guy was a greenskeeper at a golf club. How many is too many do you think? I reckon you don't need more than two. Yeah, I think three's too many. I think three's too many. Two, but only if they're different.

Like maybe one's petrol and one's electric or one's slim and one's a big chunker. I agree with you. Maybe one's a ride on and one's a handheld. I agree with you. They have to be really. different to justify the purpose. This is also coming from Jay Farch who has never touched a lawnmower in her life. So maybe we should get Jonathan on and say, do they have 500 different purposes?

Because we can't talk to Stan, obviously. He died. He left him a 500-piece collection. And I think the reason it's going viral, not just because he left 500 lawnmowers to his son in the will, but because it is the second largest collection in Britain's history, which means someone else has a person. bigger lawnmower collection. This guy's just collecting different lawnmowers with history, maybe, or just because...

I think you're absolutely right. I mean, one of them, the rarest model in the collection road. Yeah. It's valued at about 10,000 AUD. 5,000 pounds. It's an 1861 shanks. I don't know what that means. I assume it's the model.

Right, right, right. One of them's a triple mower, roller from the 1920s. Very rare. And another one, a reversible mower. What the hell's a reversible mower? reversible me. You got to walk backwards? You got on.

From the 1870s. Grass, is it no. This is a bloke whose job it was as Greenskeeper, but he obviously had such a passion for his job. He collected. Here's a picture of Stan, the late Stan, in his humongous garden shed. Oh, so, like, some of those you can push.

Like, they're not actually, like, motorised. Some of them are old school, man. You know what I would, I actually think you... Look at that. You can't even get some of those out of the shed. That's clearly decorative. I don't know how many are actually functioning. circles that you push, you get a cleaner, sharper, flatter surface.

Are they the manual ones? That adds one, maybe more than four is not, yeah, I can see. I can see you having a bit of a collection. 500 piece collection. That's too many, though. And following his dad's death, God love him, Jonathan has vowed to maintain and even add to the collection. So if Jonathan's got kids, they are looking at inheriting maybe 600.

It's poor kids. That's a lot to inherit. Good luck trying to sell one, though. If your old man was so passionate about these things. things and you have to keep them. I think they've got to stay in the family, the Hardwick family. I've not had anything left to me in a will, Rowan. My parents have, like, given me pieces of jewelry and whatnot, but I've never actually

had anything written down. And to Jessica, I will leave my red sweater. Do you reckon there be any sort of... I just pinch that from my Parr's wardrobe after he died. Lovely. Any sort of, like, surprises? Do you reckon they'll have anything for you? Other than the inheritance, obviously.

Well, my brother and I have done the despicable thing of already telling our parents, we want that. We want that. We want that. We want that. It's a little bit of a grim convo. You, I know you're very close to your grandfather, who's now haunting you. I've got a watch from him.

That's nice. I mean, that's pretty stock standard, isn't it? Pretty standard. No one's storm funny buggers in the Edwards family? No, not really. My mum and dad would love to spend all of my inheritance. As is their prerogative. I'm an only child, so I don't have to share it.

And I just have all the grief by myself, obviously. And so they won't have to. Well, do you know what tell your parents, if you have an only child, then they have to carry the burden when you get ill. I also get the full inheritance. So it's not like I got to split it, you know? It's pretty good, man. Double income one child.

It's not bad. When we bought, when my mum and dad bought like seven acres in Tasmania, yes, another Tasmanian joke, seven acres and built on it, they bought the seven acres for $50,000. Oh, my God. And I was in, I was in, like, primary schools, I met to go to high school. It wasn't like I was, like, one. But what would it be worth now, $52,000? Havesmore.

Oh, hello. They didn't even subdivide it. So you'll get... So you'll get that. Yeah, I'm trying to get them to do... Possibly. Wow. Well, 13-1060, we want to know.

You inherited what? You inherited what? We've got a 500-piece lawnmower collection. Yep, that's a good one. Who left you what? What are you getting? What's weird? 04-8-88-106-9.

Maybe it was an animal. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you had to look after their, you know, great, I can't fit this in my apartment. 13, 1060, take your calls next. This is Jess and Rowan. Arguably Pink's greatest song. Sorry, said it.

Jess and Rowan, good morning. Her best song is Just Like a Pill. No, that's not. What? The best song is so what. Where I could run just as fast as I can't. Come on. Your music sense is pretty good, but that's way off, bro.

So what's her best one. Just like a pill. Oh, now we're just arguing. So what's by far the worst of all three days? No, I'll fight you on that one. So what? Down the rock star. It's bad, dude.

Maybe that one. So what, she does do the best tricks, though, when she's on the acrobatic flying trapeas. Get down, babe. Get down. Just like a pill. Come on. Good song, not the best. It's the best.

Not the best. Come on, she talks about, you know, a little witch. She's cheeky in it. Cheeky. She calls the nurse a witch. Really in the expletable. But is it better than get the party started? Yes.

Yes, absolutely. Just like a pill. A hill I will die on. The song sucks. Look, supplementary poll, 0488-8-1-069, Pink's best song. We are asking now, though, you inherited.

What? After a gentleman by the name of Jonathan in the UK is gone viral. Oh. For sharing what his dad, Valé, Stan Hardwick, who left his son after passing away, his 500-piece collection,

of lawnmowers. Most of them vintage. One worth about 10,000 AUD. Wow. Sorry, quick text here from Courtney, just like a pill, her best song. Thank you so much. Oh, thanks, Courtney.

So we want to know, have you inherited something crazy? Rowan and I, we've not been named in wills as yet, which is kind of a little sad. Shy guy, no one in your family left you something crazy. Uh, no. I feel like we're missing out, guys. No, they're not gone yet.

Rebecca said, uh, we didn't inherit them, but I've got three mowers, one, push one ride on and a zero turn ride on, which I don't like. Six. What's a zero turn right on? Just in the one spot. So how do you do more of your lord if you can't turn it? Well, you would get to the end.

And then what? Zero turn it to left so you don't go over the garden bed or whatever, you know. What does zero turn? She just got to go in a straight line. Up and back, up and back. It's like the ride on. Yeah. Yeah.

But it can't turn. No, it can. I can't tell you. Zero turn in the spot, on spot. Yeah, on the spot. Yeah. I have no idea what you're saying. She's going up and back on the same strip of the lawn.

That's sort of crap. So if it's one of those ones that doesn't turn zero turn, you'd have to go like round and then you've got to like get the edges and come back around. But a zero turn would stop and on the spot. Like this. Oh, you don't get it. Oh, you can do like a right angle. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sort of. You're getting there. Thank you, Rebecca. Ashley. I like this from Ashley. It's a bit. Grim, but thank you for sharing, Ash, puts you in a draw for Cooker of the Week for sharing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad always said he would give me his dog when he passed away. I was expecting that in the will. Mind you, he's never bought me a birthday or Christmas present in his life, but sure, I was going to get the dog in the will. When he died, didn't get the dog. He got the dog? I think the stepkids.

Oh, Ash, that kind of sucks. That sucks. I was a nice dog at least. Yeah. We've got Jay on 131060. Should we go to Jay? We can go to Jay. Good day, Jay.

Hello, how are you? Jay, we're pretty good. I'm a little annoyed. I haven't been left anything in a will, but have you inherited something? Yeah, I inherited my grandfather's hearing aids. Nice. Do you also have hearing problems?

Was it something you bonded with Granddad over? Got similar ears? No, I don't know. It's like one of the other things I was left with his hearing aids. And I mean, he's a pretty funny bloke. Like he was called Papa Smurf, but, you know, he's funny and old. But yeah, yeah, his hearing aids. I was not what I was expecting.

Are there other grandchildren in your family, Jay? Yeah, seven of it. So what did they get? I'm not sure, to be honest. 50 grand. This is Jess and Rowan. So it's school holidays at the moment. It is Rowan.

I mean, I don't really know when school holidays is because I don't have kids. School holidays, you can usually pick it. Easter, it's usually either the start of them or in the middle at least. So it's around. Good to know. I had no idea. But I've decided I hate them. I've decided that I think that there should be just kids should be in school the

whole time. Now, this is coming from a disgruntled 34-year-old man because I'm sure kid, Rowan, loved the school holidays. But I was bored as a kid in school holidays. Didn't have anything to do other than play the Xbox. Halo, got a flogging. If this is an only child rant, I'm going to have to kneecap you. No, no, no, no.

I was bored because I had no siblings. I'll get it. Well, I was, but I wasn't going to bring it up, all right? I had to play with myself. G. G.I. Joe is just like trying to get up and about with Barbie. I don't know why I had Barbie there. Did you have imaginary friends?

Yeah, because I didn't have any brothers or sisters. And boys can play with Barbies. Boys can go to smoke a little. But I was mainly playing with G.A. Joe and he was trying to hook up with Barbie that I was trying to say, not today, Joe. One of the great Casanovers from way back. I have a headache. Come on, Barbie.

You know what Gio Joe's like. Come on, Barbie. Let's go party. No, no. But I've seen more e-bikes on the road. Kids are just walking around Westfield with nothing to do. Getting in my way, basically. I don't want to fuel.

Pool is loud. I don't want to fuel your fire. but I took my little girl to a playground yesterday. How was that? It was lovely until two punks on an e-bike, I thought are you straight away. That's what I'm saying. No, no, honkin, honk and honkens are we all look, flipped off the kids on the playground. Don't laugh.

Don't laugh. Okay, you're encouraging it now. It's not funny. It's not funny. It's awful. Honk, honk, honk, we all think, oh, something's happening. And this punk on the bike would have been 14. Flip you off?

Well, in the general direction of the playground. So there's, you know. Just flipped everyone off. There's 15 adults. There would have been 25 kids. Chess, this is the point I'm making. But then he's made on the back, ripped his hand down. So I respect that kid, keeping his friend in line.

What a loser. But they're all out and about with nothing to do. Nothing to do. They're bored. Probably a couple of only children. Oh, let's go to Westfield and let's just sit in the food court, potentially. Well, they clogging up the Mackers line. Is that why you're upset?

Just clogging up every line. Clogging up the corners. I don't know how to walk around corners probably because they're kids. They're on their phones. And have you noticed, they all walk. With air pods in. No, but adults are guilty of it, too. six in a row.

Oh, they don't know how to walk properly. Single file. That drives me insane. That's, to be fair. You're clogging up the corridors. That's every day, not just school holidays. And adults do that too. I mean, the gym, everyone's schedules are ruined.

So I'm going to the gym now. I'm trying to pick a better time during school holidays. They're all just there, just on their phone sitting around. Are the kids at the gym? Yeah. I noticed out of my gym. Not like, not like eight-year-olds, but like 13-14-year-olds, just like sitting sitting on the peck deck just watching TikTok.

Hey, champ, you're going to move? Oh, no. God, I hate them. I hate them. I hate... When are the teachers... Makes you not want kids at all. Because I'll know

that's my dumb-ass kid. When are the teachers meant to have a break though, Rowans? One thing for the punks to be out and forth. Well, they only work till 3 o'clock. Careful. So they had plenty of time to themselves. Be very... It's funny.

I grew up with two teachers. I can make that joke. Yeah, dad's a drama teacher. What'd your mom teach? Art. I didn't know that. She's doing finger paintings with the kids, wondering why she's so stressed.

Come on, Karen. It's just a painting. Yeah, but the interpretation of the painting. She used a hater grade. sevens and a grade eights because they didn't want to be there. Obviously not, Karen. They've got other benefit to be doing. There'd be one prodigy that I'm sure she latched on to, really try and nurture that.

You know, like a young Picasso. I don't think mum cared either. I just think mum was, I don't know. How do you even get into art teaching? Sorry, that's a whole other thing. That's a whole other thing. Anyway, I just think we need to re-look at the way we do school holidays. I think if it's, it's okay if it's school holidays, but they need to go somewhere like a camp.

I did often want this because my parents were nice. to fibres, you know, corporate people. And now as an adult, I go, how did we just have two weeks off? Like, what did they do? Society's not actually structured to support working parents. I agree with you. In general, or parents in general, but working parents, especially school finishing at three. So you're telling me.

And then this has become the ABC. I'm sorry. You've come to hit for a laugh and a chuckle. And here we are talking about the structure of society. Don't even ask you about genders. First off, ABC. But yes, what are parents actually meant to do for two weeks if you have to work? And the kid, if your kid's nine.

I'm not only even. my kid nine home alone. You go to Ush or something, don't you? Got a what? I thought Ush after school care, but I thought that was outside of school hours. But I thought that was for you talk kids. It's just awful, guys. Just for two weeks on school holidays, I don't know.

And I don't think they work on public holidays like East. Just think about us, Jess. We finish here after a hard day's work. We get home 9.30. You tell me I have to hang out of my kid from 9.30 until the end of the day? Ron, what I'm hearing is we are the perfect people to start the school holiday camp because we finish at 930. Then I have to hang out with his idiot.

So that's what I'm saying. We are the ones in society who have the time. They've got more time to ride their e-bikes, more time to annoy people, flip the belt off. Just like, what are we doing here? Lucia went, what's this mean? She did it, but she might have been thinking it. Love you. It means love you.

Terrible. Anyway. Hey, hey, listen, someone just texts. Shantel, as you guys are talking about teenagers on the bikes, I'm sitting in traffic with my window down and two of them pull up and stared at me here in the conversation. Shantel's got a window down. The kids can hear us through her window. Flip him off and spit at him.

Flip him off. This is Jess and Rowan. A fun show today. Wonderful show. If you missed a minute, our podcast lives on the listener app. Yep. You can get it there.

If you're as into the moon stuff going on at the moment, the Artem's 2 shuttle. Splash down tomorrow. Splash down tomorrow. Babs gave us a couple of updates today. If you're late to the party and just want to have some water cooler chat, podcast is a good place to get those conversation starts. Great place to start.

Yeah, we're back again. And tomorrow, oh my God, it feels like it's such a weird. I know tomorrow is already Friday, so we're doing bangers, obviously. Oh, yeah, bangers. Which Shagai already gave us the theme. There's a list of space songs. That genuinely NASA uses to pump through the rocket from Earth. Can't they just use whatever song they want?

To wake up the astronauts. I don't know how I feel about it, but we're going to pick songs from that list, or maybe even what we suggest to NASA. Yep, wake up songs. So make sure you've saved our number, 048-18-1069. Speaking of, thank you to everyone who got in touch today. Yep. Wonderful contributions.

Cook with the Week Prize. If you contribute, you can win it. Absolutely. 500 to spend with our friends at Mr Consistent. Pretty good. And we are back tomorrow from 6. Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Macca's Bistro, Bernice, Angus Range, is here.

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