Jim Cornette Experience - Episode 582: AEW Women's Roster Review

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

This week on the Experience, Jim begins his review of the AEW roster with a look at the women's division! Plus Jim reviews AEW Dynamite & Dark Side Of The Ring's Episode on The Sheik! Also, Jim reads an email from an upset AEW wrestler, America's Most Wanted, weather, ratings, more! Thanks to our episode sponsors: SHOPIFY:  Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com/jce HELIX:  Go to helixsleep.com/jce for 27% Off Sitewide + Free Bedding Bundle (Sheet Set and Mattress Protector) with any Luxe or Elite Mattress Order Follow Jim and Brian on Twitter: @TheJimCornette @GreatBrianLast Join Jim Cornette's College Of Wrestling Knowledge on Patreon to access the archives & more! https://www.patreon.com/Cornette Subscribe to the Official Jim Cornette channel on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/c/OfficialJimCornette Visit Jim's official site at www.JimCornette.com for merch, live dates, commentaries and more! You can listen to Brian on the 6:05 Superpodcast at 605pod.com or wherever you find your favorite podcasts!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Like the midnight and the rock and roll. He's in a fight for wrestling soul using a racket and some mind control. He's in Kornet. The keys to the future. Hell by Nets. Another state of emergency episode is it the weather report or the state of AEW. We're going to cover all the natural disasters today. And joining me,

Hoi Lion Brian, the podcasting line, the king of the Arcadian Vanguard podcast network, Mr. co-host to you. He's the earthquake to my typhoon, the great Brian Last, everybody. Aloha, Jim, a pleasure to be here once again. Got a big episode, lots of things to discuss. I thought last week's AEW episode was going to drive me off.

This was one of the worst episodes of a wrestling show I've ever seen, and it felt like it wasn't going to end. At a certain point, I was like, man, this is not an overrun. This is like a torture. Everything feels like it's never. going to end these days to me. Brad, what was it two weeks ago? I said, now we started doing one of these fine, fine programs. And about 20 minutes in, I got the word. I needed to take shelter from the goddamn storm, shelter from the storm, because of the severe weather. And now, today, we've had this

forecast for the last couple days that it just keeps getting more ridiculous and more ridiculous. It's already thunderstormed and poured rain early in the morning and through mid-morning and noonish. And now we got three choices, Brian, according to the mid-morning news. Either the line's going to come through later on tonight, but with super cells out in front of it that could produce tornadoes and just pop up at random wherever. followed by a main line that's going to whack everybody,

or it's just going to be a main line that's going to whack everybody. They've been using the term dangerous, destructive, golf ball size plus hail, 70 plus mile an hour winds, tornadoes, strong tornadoes likely. And then they just ran another one this morning that said, well, with the rain that we had today, already, it may have taken the energy out of the atmosphere where stuff, all this chaos will go right to the south of Metro Louisville. But that's not likely, according to what they said. So we sit here wondering, it's like waiting for a phone call from the governor.

What the fuck is going to happen to you and when? We don't know. It's become tiresome to use a Kevin Dunn term. How many times have I talked about that this year? And this is a worst forecast where we had a F3 tornado one mile to the fucking side of us here. Why don't you move? Where are you going to go at this point? Northeast.

No, hold on, hold on now. You've got hurricanes on the west, on the east coast. You had a hurricane. They got hurricanes in Florida all the time. hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico. They got earthquakes on the West Coast. They have goddamn 50 degrees below zero up in the Great Plains. And the weather that we're getting here, it's even worse out in fucking Oklahoma and Arkansas

in those places where the tornadoes just run wild and free. So where are you going to go? Underground, that's it. we all need to go underground. You start. You first. Well, I guess except for the earthquakes. Because that would kind of be, you'd be closer to the,

that wouldn't work, would it, Brian? Maybe you'll learn more about them, be able to share your learnings with society. We need some kind of tri-level situation where in good weather of your house, you can just live on the first floor and just walk right out in the sunshine and the rainbows.

And when the severe thunderstorms come, you get down in the basement in your lead covered shelter, and whenever the earthquakes happen, you run up on a second floor because you're farther away from the fucking earthquake. All right.

Well, this is geology. Well, this is another show. Look at here. I got all this paper sitting in front of me. I haven't had time to prepare because I've been too busy worrying about my impending doom. This is getting to me. I'm too old for this.

To be stressed about whether or not that we're going to be blown from the face of the earth several times per year. It's taking a toll on my psyche in my elderly years. If I get seriously injured by a lightning bolt, I maybe not have long enough time to recover. You should move. How long does it take to recover? getting hit by a lightning bolt. You're the only person I know has been hit by lightning. You tell me.

Well, I didn't actually get hit by lightning, a lightning bolt. I got hit by the lightning that passed through the house. So it wasn't like I was just standing out in the woods and just bam, they picked that spot to land. That's bad. It was like that electric gremlin in the phone in gremlins, too. Of all the places you previously lived for wrestling, Louisiana, of course, Charlotte, Morris Town, Tennessee, Connecticut. Atlanta. Atlanta. If you had to move back to one of those,

which one would you pick? Ah. Well, let's rule out Connecticut and Louisiana. Connecticut for all the reasons that we've talked about and Louisiana, because it's just too swampy down it, too muggy. It's too humid. Nashville.

Did you live in Nashville when you first started? Well, yes, I lived in Nashville, and that's, if you're just, asked me 25 years ago, I would have said Charlotte because I loved Charlotte. It's so green. And it says, it was like a small town, even though it was a city. And it would just have all kinds of nice thing. But the last number of times I've been there, God damn, it's like driving into fucking downtown Dallas. So I would have to say Nashville of all of the places that I've lived, because Atlanta, it worse than Charlotte.

Atlanta was too busy for me in 1980 fucking five. So does that answer your question? Yeah, no, Nashville's not busy at all right now. Well, no, out of all, that's the thing. You would hate Nashville right now, probably. Well, if you got out, like go all the way up Gallatin Road and just kind of go out way past Hendersonville into Goodlettsville. It used to be nice out there, nice and country.

I don't know what's happened these days. What about you? Of all the places you've ever lived, where would you go back and live again? You know, I had my fill of everywhere else. I'm happy where I am. I took as much as I was going to get in terms of enjoyment out of the previous places.

I'm over here now. How many different states have you lived in in your life? Two, New York and New Jersey. But I've had various homes. yet you've been in various homes you know what may if i was actually going to answer it maybe lito beach i loved living in lito beach and i was very happy living in lito beach and it's nice having and it's nice having the dunes as a dead end at the end of the street i love the dunes of lido beach that sounds like a goddamn 50s william castle horror movie all right anyway before we get into

any more tomfoolery that we can and talk about to put off talking about the wrestling. Brian and I both, all of us, here at the Jace, everybody, want to send out our best wishes to Jim Ross publicly here on the program because the news just came out shortly before we're doing, we're recording this, that he's been diagnosed with colon cancer and is going to be having, well, they say surgery, I don't know how, I don't know what they do for this,

but he's going to be having something done about it very soon. And we just wanted to say publicly, J.R., we love you. And, you know, get over. He has unfortunately had, you know, going back what, of 25 years, just a string of health issues with the Bell's palsy and et cetera. And it seems like at some point, Mother Nature and the odds would give a brother a break. But we love you, J.R.

and we're thinking about you. He should move. Where's he going to move, did you? Lido Beach. Oh, God. I was very happy in Lido Beach. That's the answer to it, because it's in the water there,

that you just have no illness or pestilence come up and... Lido, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, boy. J.R. likes it when I, when I say it. When you butcher Boscags? Oh, yeah, that's one of J.R's favorite things. I saw a story there.

I heard a story on television. I saw the people telling the story on television, if that makes it any easier to decipher here. I'd been watching Family Feud while I was doing some of the mail orders to find Cornett's Collectibles customers. And that's on WDRB here in Louisville. It's a Fox station. So I go, I put some stuff up, I come back in.

You know who John Walsh. is the America's Most Wanted guy. Oh, yeah, of course. Right? Yeah. Well, apparently that America's Most Wanted anniversary special of some kind or whatever on. What are you laughing already now?

America's Most Wanted Reunion Special. We bring back all your favorites. They get all the murderers and rapists together. Hey, guys. So what's going on with you today in your life? You may remember the star of season one. He ate three nurses after killing their parents. It's Julian!

No, they had, it was, well, they were celebrating the fine people on the, on the production side of the thing that have brought all these murderers and killers and things to justice, is what I'm trying to say. But it was some type, it's been 40 years since, whatever, it's a network special. God damn it.

Jesus Christ, Brian, don't hyper-analyze this thing. And John Walsh is there, and he's got his, His son is apparently taking on the mantle of being a co-host of this thing. Because John is somewhat up. He'd have to be in his 70s, right? He's very gray-haired. I mean, that's how he first became prominently known. I believe he lived in Florida, and his son was abducted and murdered by someone,

and that got him. Adam. Adam. Adam. That got John Walsh to kind of be someone looking for justice for any of these criminals who were out there. I didn't know he had another son, actually. Well, yeah, and I say kid, he looks like he was 30-something years old.

I'm a bad judge at my age. But yeah, before he got a television show, he had been an advocate and a crusader for the, you know, various laws governing these type of things. But anyway, so they're doing this show, Brian. So now we've established for the kids, America's Most Wanted, was a TV show on Fox for years that would run profiles on. felons that were on the loose, criminals that had escaped, runoff somehow, we're trying to find these people. America's most wanted. People literally on the FBI most wanted list. Yes, yes, that's where America's most wanted,

Harrison Storm got their fucking tag team name. But anyway, so one of the stories they tell, and this is, I'm not making this up. I heard this, I swear I did. but the like one of the shows they did a story on this guy that had murdered the cook at a bar and grill right and then the guy got away somehow and he's he's out on the loose and they had done a profile line they hired john tafford to come in and help them rebuild the image of their bar no no it's even hold on it gets even worse so on the night that this show airs all the people at this particular bar and grill, or they got the TV on and they're watching, and they're like,

I hope they find the guy that got old Harry, right? So they watch that, and, you know, then, okay, it goes on to the next segment, a completely unrelated, escaped person, a completely, a wanted person, completely unrelated to anything that we've just seen before. That profile starts playing on the screen. which the TV's still on in the bar and grill.

And they look up and they say, wait a minute. This is our new cook. No. The fucking new cook was the subject of, he was in the back room. They called the cops. Go get him. He's in the back.

Oh, my God. That's amazing. He was the new cook that apparently replaced the cook that got killed by the guy that they were looking for in the fucking previous segment. So there you go. You know when that guy applied for the job, he's like, thank God America's most wonderful. is off the air. I'm safe.

Safe here. No, this was back in the day, back in the day when they were doing this on a regular basis. He had been loose for some time. Apparently, he had culinary skills. That show should still be on the air.

It should be like a public service thing. Put that thing on the air. Well, this also looked like that John Walsh was pitching his son to be the host of the thing. If potentially maybe a pilot or an opportunity there. Did you watch Cops? Were you a fan of Cops?

Oh, yeah, I love Cops. Because those were both Fox shows back in the day. Well, yes, and also married with children. Yeah, Simpsons, obviously. You could see Christina Applegate. But, no, Cops was great because that's what the reality television that I was trying to pitch to Vince McMahon

was cops because Vince McMahon it came on the air in 1989. When I'm talking to him in 1996, he'd still never seen that and may have never say. He's probably seen a couple filmed on location at this point. He's never watched it on television. But I said, the locker room shit or the outside shit or whatever, the one camera stuff,

the cinema verite where you're in the action and it's violent, that, you know, that's the kind of. of reality television, the flavor that I thought should be applied to some of the slickly produced T.L. Hopper, WWF, that he was going for, and shitstain came along with reality television, Jerry Springer. It kind of defeated the whole fucking purpose. But anyway, so watch out.

Whoever you hires a cook in your bar and grill, folks, watch out. How many of the floating cooks in the floating cook pool that just go from town to town with a bag over their shoulder? Hey, I'm looking for work. You know, you need a chef. How many of those people are criminals? Well, I don't know if there's a... Not the judge.

Is there a large floating cook community? Is it like a bunch of people standing outside, you know, fucking Kroger said, I will cook for you. I don't know. I think it'd probably be just you would it seems like you would have to pass some kind of skill of being able to properly cook

the shit that's on the menu but I don't know if they do background checks we'll talk more about diner problems in the future here on the show yes I got an email actually not an email a letter from our friend Jasper Tapin'Buts he just mentioned Okada is so lazy

his smoke detector has a snooze but I just thought that was apropos. I don't want to ruin the review, and I certainly want you to bring it up again in the review for those who missed this part of the show. But I popped when he ran out there in that same fucking suit again. I thought, like, he wore it one time,

and he was like, okay, I can never do this again. I made a mistake. I didn't realize TV adds 30 pounds to your suit. And then he wore it again. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it's, well, it's, I think he just shows up however he rolls out of bed

and okay, bitch. Easiest job of all time. I wish I had that job. Oh, I wish I could be Okada. All that money do nothing. That's, and there are still people go, oh my gosh, he looked in Kenny's eyes.

They looked at each other. Holy shit. It was a holy shit moment. Most of the time, Ocada looks like he's the guy that just shit his pants. Bitch. Was that the whole, email? Is that the entirety of that email by O'Connor? Yes, yes. Yes, that's, that was the statement.

Okay. But also, we heard from Todd and he sent it to me, but he says, hi, Mr. Cornett and Mr. Last, so you're in there too. And he's very respectful. Very respectful. I appreciate that. And he's from upstate New York, so at least he's not from your neck of the woods. Well, the Northeast. This is all one big neck. Well, he might be stuck in your throat then. No, he wanted to say thank you to us again because he's listening. He's had life kicking a shit out of him lately. And he's been listening to the shows to cheer up a little bit.

And also he has kids, which he finds joy in his kids and the drive-through and the experience. and I recommend Todd cheeseburgers also the greasier the better whenever you feel bad. If you're really down and just make sure the cheese is so hot that it burns your fingertips. Did he say he likes cheese? Well, no, but everybody does.

So recommend a hamburger. Why do you go write the cheeseburger? You leave out an entire population of people assuming this guy likes things that you like. A hamburger is not going to make anybody feel better when they're in a depressed state of mind. It would make me feel better right now, a couple of hamburgers. It would make me even more pissed off because then I would do, well, now I've got to go get the cheese,

and by the time I get the cheese and melt the cheese and all the other shit, when it's the last time you could eat a burger with no cheese? I don't think there has been such a time. Oh, come on. Come on, really? I declined a burger with no cheese. You run out of cheese, but you have another fresh burger on the grill ready to go? Well, you never run out of cheese.

What the fuck is it matter with you? I don't plan for cheese. I don't know cheese preparation schedule. You don't plan for cheese if you're doing burgers on the grill? If I'm grilling and you want cheeseburgers, you could bring the cheese. No, I write the ingredients down about three days before any kind of function like that to make sure that I got everything and you can't not have the most crucial part of the goddamn meal. So, of course, I've never run out of cheese.

Can we agree that Todd probably likes the burger? Can we agree on that? I don't know. He may be a goddamn vegetarian. Well, that's true. Okay, well, that'd be... In which case, that's probably why he's so damn depressed. Well, he wouldn't want the cheese.

Do vegetarians eat cheese? Actually, I guess they do. Vegans don't eat cheese, do they? Well, but then if you have the cheese but you don't have the meat, well, then you... You're just all fucked up. Well, again, let's not make a sense. So you gotta have the cheese,

and the meat and proper proportions. And then that is what will kill any type of depression or bad feelings is to bite in, and you don't even have to have a bun. Oh, come on. What the fuck?

If you're just really feeling bad, just take that fucking cheese covered greasy patty and just break it and have and start sticking in your face. You have not done that, have you? And you will feel better. Have you ever run out of bread? every once while I've run it

but see running out of running out of buns or bread or whatever it's not all at the same time if I don't have a bun I might have bread if I don't have bread I might have bread I might have bun see I might want a patty melt instead of a fucking burger well Todd feel better

is Todd with 1D or 2D for the show notes Todd Todd's with 2D he's double D's double D's feel better Todd we're all rooting for the double D and uh enjoy your burger or however you like it. Yes, and with extra cheese.

Brian, I got an email from one of the AEW wrestlers. I haven't told you about this yet. I just, I saw this as I was perusing trying to get ready for the show. But would you, would you like me to tell you about this now? Should we do this in private or should I just read this AEW wrestler email? I have no idea where you're going. so feel free to take over the... It's your show, actually. Do whatever you want.

Well, the subject... Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy how you said? That was... That was the Jackson's, correct? I believe so. Well, there you go. Not one of their better hits, but yeah. Well, but still, you know, hey...

Blame it on the buggy. That's where it's... How was it compared to your hits there, palmed it on the buggy was where it was at, not that. Well, okay, but really shake your body down to the ground. if you want to. Do you like, can you feel it? That's like late era of Jackson's. Can you feel it?

No, no, no, no. I didn't feel it. Okay. Anyway, this email, the subject line was instead of calling me a nobody for attention, why don't you try to help? Oh. Well, that's a challenge. And the email says, first, my name is Miles Hawkins, and that's in capitals.

I am an NCAA All-American, trained by some of the best wrestling schools in the Mid-Atlantic. Why do you have to go to more than one? Was he expelled at some point? And I am the guy who did the job for Hobbs on AEW Dynamite. I am certainly not a nobody. I don't even remember this. Do you remember? Yeah, what did you say?

No, this is legitimate because. well remember it was a couple weeks ago they had a match where it was hobbs and Samoa Joe and God damn is it who's in their grid they hurt Shepoopee somebody else came or whoever their other guy was they heard hook they had Shapoopy still heard hook that's right they got Shepoopy

he was again one of the guys on the other side of the things they had a job match like I said three minutes or whatever the fuck and I said well, it was Samoa Joe and Hobbs and whoever versus nobody. And then we moved on us. The baby faces won the goddamn thing. We were critiquing the show. That's the way I remember this guy.

And I don't actually think that we bothered to watch the match to even talk about him any further. But apparently he was highly offended by us saying he was nobody on the, can you look up the resolution? results of dynamite from a couple weeks ago and see who else was on nobody's team? Or do you have a, is there a search engine you can find with that information? I will continue on reading the email. While I completely understand that the premise of your show is to shit on modern wrestling

for attention, you are someone that I would like to hear your unbiased out of podcasting character opinions and advice. In short, I'm here to see if you can help me, or are you full of it? So now, basically, Brian, here the premise of what we do is to shit on modern wrestling to get attention. We can't really mean it because, you know, they're obviously doing a great job.

But if you have any criticism, I'd like to hear it. besides the fact that I'm sorry I'm not actually getting any extra attention calling Miles Standish or I'm sorry Miles Hawkins a nobody but instead of asking sincerely he's taking the attitude that again I'm just in character but they're not doing anything really wrong I Miles I'm sorry I don't have a character I have an opinion in my opinion in my opinion was about the overall show and whether or not that your match was of any importance

and nobody had seen you on television ever before. Now, I could have, like some of the sorry sacks of shit that they've rolled out there in the past to do jobs that have just been visually ridiculous looking or completely inept and out of place. I could have broken that down, but you didn't really look like that. You just looked like a guy that nobody knew who the fuck he was. That's why you were labeled nobody.

I'm trying to find the results, and apparently it was the April 30th, 2025 episode of dynamite. I have to go to a different website. The one I have here does know who he is because it says match to the ops versus Hawkins and two other guys. So I literally have to go to another website now to find this. But the two other guys, did they fucking send them a nasty email over at that website? Say, we're not other guys. I remember this match. He was the other guy.

How did they say it the other way? It was the ops versus Nick Comorado, Rhett Titus, and Miles Hawkins. Okay. Ret Titus, I worked with in Ring of Ier 15 years ago. That's why I knew him. Comorato, we've seen on TV before there long in the past. and then where it was nobody. Because we'd never seen him before.

But anyway, again, Miles, you weren't important enough for us to go into detail on in the overall critique of the show in that particular slot you were in. However, and truthfully and honestly, I don't plan on watching a lot of your extended matches in the future, but just as an overall suggestion, if you're going to ask any veteran or any more experienced person than you are for advice, don't preface it by saying, well, I know you just say shit like that because you want to get attention and you can't really mean it, but what am I doing right?

He needs to ask with a better attitude. I guess if I can answer his question, what you're doing right is publicity. Now I'll remember your name maybe another week. I had no memory of that match until Jim made me go look it up again. And then I kind of remembered it because Nick Romeroon reappeared. I don't even remember what this guy looks like. But now also he was an NCAA All-American, which means he's doomed in that environment because the last thing they won is anybody trying to bring any type of athletic background

to that show. But at the same time, he sounds like his attitude would fit right in with the indie crowd. So he didn't say where he trained or who trained them? Some of the best wrestling schools in the Mid-Atlantic. I can't name one of those particular things right now. Was George South training guys at one point? Or am I thinking about something else? I don't know what George has been doing in recent.

He's trained plenty of guys in the past. I know Austin Idol has a school in Greenville, I think. I haven't heard anything about that in quite some time. I don't know. I heard Tommy Rich was sleeping under the. the ring. Hey. He's, he's, well, he's waiting for his cue. But, uh, but anyway, nevertheless, I, whoever the best wrestling schools in the mid-Atlantic are, uh, they should have had a class in attitude when you, when you're trying to get, uh, helpful hints. And you're saying things for

attention because you're critiquing the wrestling that I guess he likes, that he thinks everything is good, everything's just going great. Well, I just keep doing what they're doing. I don't even know. I, I just think he may have been stung because he thinks quite often and fondly of himself. And nobody, because I mean, think of the fucking things I've said about other people and they never sent me an email. And the whole tell me what I'm doing right, based on what? Yes, you've fucking laid down wonderfully. If we ever do see him on television again, we'll have to pay attention. so that we can pick his game apart in detail.

Should they use this as a gimmick for him to help him get more TV? The whole thing that he gets mad when the fans chant, nobody, you're nobody! You're a real nowhere man! And like it makes him lose his mind and, you know, he loses his matches or something because of it. At least then there's something. No, wait a minute, wait a minute.

We get one of the girls involved. You're nobody till somebody loves you. Oh, and then he finds himself. somebody to love. Who would he be, if not nobody? Well, then later on, as soon as he finds somebody to love, he'll be somebody. And then they can say, there's somebody. This is some good shit, man.

I think you should think about looking. Yeah. Move over, Tony. All righty then. Well, that was communication from the front. I got a plug again. The WHAS Crusade for Children is coming up. June 7th and 8th.

And it's the 72nd annual crusade. And for the new kids out there, again, this is the oldest and largest annual fundraising event, local event of its kind anywhere in the country. And they've raised, God, what was the total? 100-something million dollars over the past 72 years for special needs kids in all of Kentucky and southern Indiana. And if you can, just look it up, W.H. crusade for children, I think crusade.org, whatever.

We've done some fundraisers in the past. I'm just war out on time, so I'm sending a check in this year and putting everybody's name on it. But if you want to send something, then you can check it out online. It's a very worthy cause. And if you have already sent me money over the past couple weeks, you'll be happy to know that the first 200 plus orders have been processed and in the hands of the feather bottoms to be labeled and shipped this week and more to come. We're going to be caught up in the next two weeks

and you can find what is left available for sale at Jim Cornett. Oh, there's still a bunch of good stuff there, folks, I kid, but we did sell out of a lot of the singular and few of a kind items. Jimcoranet.com and they're thankfully for the Featherbottoms speedy assembly system there's not the weight that there has been in the past with volumes of

orders of this number. What are you doing, Brian? Over there. Did you ever you you found the the Google or you had to go to two different websites to get the results of AEW? Shouldn't they have that on their

website? Well they did. There was a link to dynamite results from this week and then I found last week, but there wasn't like a link on their page to get the actual show by show. So I had to just Google it, but I didn't know which week it was. That's something that they ought to do for, because Tony's

statistics mind, right? And he wanted the sports-based presentation and he wanted to bring the statistics into everything. He should be put in charge of compiling everybody's one loss record for the website, for all

the statistic nerds like him to look up and just argue and conversate over. And somebody else ought to be in charge of who wins and who loses, and then Tony should just write it down. I think that would be his place in a wrestling promotion, is keeping track of the winners and the losers and the numbers. Oh, will you stop it? We should be encouraging him. He should be an on-air character, more and more.

so he can point and grin and aura will get there he behaves like a silent comedy star i love yeah yeah he's he's doing panamime even though that there's goddance obviously television with audio but he can't speak to people in front of him unless there's a microvode he'll just point and smile and nod his head and that segment where shelton benjamin found mjaf someone needs to take that and play it back with no sound like in black and white just have like some piano behind it or something and watch Tony it works eyebrows go up and down he's making faces

he's like a dummy he looks like a ventriloquist dummy just the eyebrows are going the mouth is opening it closing but this the the the the buster Keaton soundtrack right the fucking silent movie comedy all right anyway let's talk about some of the old wrestling Brian The Dark Side of the Ring episode this week was on the Sheik, not the Iron Sheik, but the original Sheik. And, you know, again, my favorite part is just getting a chance to see the video. And I know somebody's going to say, well, Quina, you got all those VHSs. Well, I like seeing it all in one place, and I want other people to see it, too.

Video of the Sheik in 2025 instead of the goddamn 87th replay of the fuck. and hell in a cell between Vince and Stephanie or whatever. The video and the talking heads were a combination of you know, the guys obviously this was Sabu's

last public interview, I guess that he did, but the guys that worked with him, the sheik, telling stories about him, and they got the grandkids, the two granddaughters and grandson to kind of talk about the family side, which was cool because you never hear from them.

But otherwise, and again, it wasn't a step-by-step delineation of his entire career, which lasted for what, 50 fucking two years or whatever. But I like the footage and the stories. Go ahead, start tearing it apart so we can pick it apart from here. Well, again, and, you know, it's always tough for me because I know a lot about this kind of stuff. So, you know, I'm watching things that more than likely almost always, I know more about the subjects and the things than the people actually making the shows. So it's hard for me to... Or that they have time to...

Well, you're so humble. Or that they have time to fucking... I don't know about that. There's plenty of time. The problem is the style of the show sucks. And the reenactments have never been more unnecessary. than they were here, especially if you can't find someone who looks like the fucking chic, from behind.

You can't even master that. No, the reenactments take away from it. Jericho's narration, as slow as he can't. Like, that takes away from, it was really good enrolling in the first life, 15 minutes or so as a chic documentary, which is you and Dave Brasinski and other people, and not everyone got the big introduction where they talk and go, and then he threw fire. And then they go to, hi, I'm Dave Brazinski,

Brzezinski and I knew the Sheik for 50 year like the unnecessary introductions that again go with the style of the show that these guys are just locked into but I thought there was some cool footage and I thought the early part is a documentary of the Sheik was all right but again the reenactments at this point are just a waste of money and a waste of time probably just to justify the existence of the show well thank you for that cheerful assessment but you were great you You were great. You were great. And I liked your outfit.

It was a change of outfit from last time, so a different color show. Well, well, well, thank. I can't remember what the fuck I was wearing and I just watched this show. I don't know. You've been on every single episode this season just about, they still need to do a slow-mo close of of, I'm Jim Cornyn, of you holding the magazine. It almost makes it creepy. It's so slow.

It's like, oh, my God. No, but, but you know, the thing is, is it more of me, the magnitude of me, it draws the numbers. I can't fault them for that, Brian. I think that's exactly what it is, yeah. They pretty much, you know, next season, one of the episodes are going to be 30 minutes slow mows of me just making faces.

It's sort of like the puppy bowl. You'll just sit and watch it. To get away from my critique, and for anyone who thinks I'm just a negative guy, I'm sorry, I'm just a guy who knows my shit about not just wrestling, but also documentary film. What did you think of, Sabu in this because obviously he's been on a lot of people's minds based on his passing in the last

week. What did you think seeing Sabu here? Well, I thought, you know, it seems kind of, is it poetic? I think the most important thing for Sabu would have been that he was able to, before he went, he was able to talk about and praise and tell these stories about his uncle because he was a father to him and which he said in the sheik used to beat Sabu's real farther up so I think that's probably you know if is it one of those things where if you have to go

at least you did this exact thing that you would want to do this the first time the sheik's been talked about on mainstream television in years and years and Sabu got to be a big part of it so I would think that would be something that he would be proud of And, you know, you mentioned the voice, his voices, you have to listen so quick. But it, again, this probably is the first time that any major number of people of a, you probably know more than me, have ever heard Sabu speak before, isn't it?

And of course, he did shoot interviews, but in terms of a wide audience on TV, unless he was previously featured in which dark side was, I guess it would have been Onita. FMW, unless he was featured in that one, or one of the ECW ones, this would be the, certainly the most they've heard from him. Yeah. And I mean, you know, I'm not, obviously, I know he's done some shoot interviews and fan fest stuff and everything, but I mean on, on, on, you know, a wide basis. But, and I'm just thinking now that I think about that, who's got tape of the sheik actually

speaking English to people? Is there any tape of that? No. Have you seen any? Remember. Maybe Berzynski. Yeah, nothing I'm aware of. Remember a few years ago, there was footage from, I forget what news magazine show going around showing Detroit wrestling. And there was narration over it. At the end, they said that's Ed Farhat. And people thought it was the Sheik, but it was actually Captain Ed George. Remember that? It was like 1970s. Yeah. Yeah. Because technically he was Ed Farhat. Yeah, that's right. it's not the right one anyway but yeah and with saboo i think he added great perspective to it because he was one of the boys and a member of the family and you know he was there obviously also we talked about it when we talked about

saboo that the sheik taught him how to maintain himself as a star but it was a different time but then at the end there was Sheik kind of promoting Sabu right like and I'll come along and then Sabu probably wanted him to come along even if he didn't and and then the fucking

you feel so bad for the whole group of people on that WCW pay per view when Sabu does the flip and lands on Sheik and breaks his leg and then stop him well i know but that's the thing he was not supposed to throw fire on a clip they showed on the dark

side episode or if you go back and see that pay per view wherever it may be located they didn't want him to throw the fire on the paper view and he wasn't supposed to throw the fire and saboo wins the match boom one two three whatever after the moon salt it breaks the sheikh's lower leg it sheeks out there limping and he just leans in the ring and throws the it was a mass guy i can't remember who it was, but he throws the JL, Jerry Lynn. Mr. J.L, that's right. Okay, he throws the fireball at Jerry Lynn there in that mask who didn't

even know it was coming and he's like, what the fuck just happened? And everybody almost missed it because it wasn't even being focused on. So it's just a train wreck. You know, I remember when they brought him the ECW in early 94,

and as soon as I say who was a part of this, you'll know who was responsible for him getting day. It was him and I think Kevin Sullivan versus two people. I forget who. I think it was the night the line was crossed, February 94. And, you know, there's all this chaos happening all up and down the card. When the sheet came out, like the giant speakers or units that were part of the ECW entrance in the arena, like he pushed him over or something. Because all of a sudden, you see, like, this tower fall down and there's, like, this little old man, like, not worried at all about this thing.

see that he knew he had to do something he probably looked out there and said Jesus Christ these guys are doing my shit and that's what I've had a lot of people on Twitter go oh well you would hate this see I thought you hated a hardcore wrestling and you would if you've been listening to the program here for any amount of time we've talked about the positives and the negatives but the positive in this case was that hey he was the only one fucking doing it. At one point in pretty much in all of the business

and then even with the various offshoot sheiks you never saw more than one or two of them in the course of a year or two in the same place. And at the same time, this is on a professional basis, Brian, I'm trying to figure

out the best way to explain this. Again, when I was a fan and saw the sheik, I was scared shitless and most everybody else in the building was too and he had the aura and projected the attitude that he could go after somebody and do anything and he would do that enough that you would kind of believe it right and the matches were chaos and insane and there's blood and there's objects and there's fire and there's whatever and the energy level is

always up and the fans freaked out over that, especially because it was out of the norm. It was unusual for anything to get out of control like that. That's why it worked. But also going back as a professional, this was my point. You can look and see that besides being very energetic with a fucking blade, nobody was going to get really hurt in a match with Tashik. that's these guys are plunging off high precipices through furniture and diving and spinning and catching and groups of people with elbows going everywhere all the things that we talk about

and there's much more professional risk in doing bullshit like that than there was in working with the sheik much less the death match is now where they're in barbed wire and the light tubes and the fucking Legos and the thumbtacks and it's just childish, ridiculous shit that is involving obvious cooperation amongst people with no fucking aura whatsoever that don't have reputations

and can't change the mood in the room. It's a freak show shit. And it happens constantly, one of those two styles of things. That's the problem why I can have admiration for the sheik, having been the single biggest money drawn heel of the modern era, and what he was doing, and still piss on this shit. And at the same time, before I get off my soapbox, Brian, last,

the whole point of the thing that we always make is, when this was in and out, it worked. But if that's all you had, it was death. It killed a territory. You couldn't go that far always. And while it had the, even with Sheik as the boss in Detroit, while it had the spectacular rise in the amazing business, eventually, and that's why.

Sheik was close with Dory Funk Sr., which is why Dory Jr. and Terry always worked for him and got him involved in Japan, et cetera, Baba, whole nine yards. But Sputnik Monroe told me one time because he used to go work West Texas in the 60s a lot too. Sputting said, yeah, Dory call me up and say, hey, Sput, you got to come in here and teach these guys how to take bumps again. I had the sheik in here for a month and now everybody works like the sheik. You had to change it up. I'm sorry, I yield the floor.

No, you're doing great. The match I mentioned before, I want to correct myself, it was from February 94, February 5th, 94, ECW Arena, the night the line was crossed the match. Three minutes and 15 seconds. Kevin Sullivan and the Tasmaniac with Woman lost to the Sheik and Pat Tanaka. Good Lord, how was that team or combination in any way

explained in the course of the promotion. At that time, Kevin and the Tasmania, as you know, because he brought him to Smoky Mountain, they were aligned together. And I know before this, without remembering the direct lead-up, that Pat Tanaka was there with Paul Diamond, I think in November at least at 93. So maybe this was a, if I had to guess without knowing, maybe Paul Diamond can't make it, so I called the sheep. Yeah, you know, maybe nobody will notice the difference.

but anyway back to the show they i love the shot of the plaque on the mansion the house the sheik built 1974 i think they could have gone into more detail on how big a star the sheik was in wrestling not only because i know we we talked a lot about it but again time constraints i know but they concentrated on detroit to the extent they didn't really mention Toronto and Toronto Nothing about that. And that's one of the great examples of the Sheik becoming really popular than hurting the crowds. Yes. And, you know, that was even more, even though the Sheik wasn't the boss as he was in Michigan,

he drew more people in Toronto between 67 and 75 in that streak that he had. And Detroit was selling between 200 and 250,000 tickets a year. And they only did shows every other week. but at the same time, we've talked about it. He was doing outdates, The Sheik, in Texas, in Los Angeles, where he'd go and main event the Olympic Auditorium and make a hell of a payoff and go get all of his new suits made. And when the war was settled, they did 16,000 people

at Market Square Arena in Indianapolis with him and Bruiser. So he worked for Nick Goulis and was, Goulos had gotten him to where if in Nashville, Chattanooga, and maybe Birmingham at the end, if the Sheik was on the card, it still brought the house up a bit because he had been featured so heavily. Sometimes Goulis would just bring Sheik in out of nowhere to work with Fargo, put it in the main event, and often they'd go to the municipal auditorium in Nashville instead of the fairgrounds because it'd be a bigger crowd. So he was a bigger star in a wider area and they should have had more mention of

Detroit or of Toronto than Detroit. Then you can use the footage of him and Andre. Well, which the footage was in there anyway, but it wasn't in a context. Right. That's my point. But did you like the story that Dave Dracend or Dave Berz, Well, folks, again for the kids, our friend Dave Bersenski was supermouthed Dave Drason as a manager. So, but he told a story of going at dinner with Bruno after Bruno had come into the cobo one night.

And, you know, Bruno said, I won't be back next show because he was supposed to get two grand and he got $800. And that was one thing about the sheik where they made tremendous, he made tremendous money. And he paid guys well when he was making it most of the time. But then toward the end, that came back to bite him when they were making, they were taking in much less money. And he was still living like a goddamn chic. I mean, the jewels and the suits and the cars and the whole apparatus. And I've heard stories from the NWA meetings that I went to in the 80s when some of the more

elderly folks would talk about the sheik would go and spend $20,000 at the casino or whatever when they had the meeting in Las Vegas just while he was there. And that was 50 years ago. But I mentioned, and it was a fact from Brian Solomon's book, Blood and Fire, Order it Today, folks. The Sheik declared $400,000 on his personal income tax and what was it, 73 or 74. One of those years. And that would be over $2 million today. And also he owned the business. You mean, nobody was fucking stigging cash in their pocket from the

goddamn programs or whatever. So the money he was making was massive. But he had gotten too old by the time that the territory started going down. The whole thing got, got old, not only the style, but him himself. Well, aren't the stories, too, that, like, Captain Ed George would run into the locker room and say the box office has been robbed? Well, yeah, no, that was the most epitome. And I'm sorry, again, I think Captain Ed George got mad at us one time. And because we said that his dad used a blade or whatever.

That's what it was. But this, Terry Funk told me that this was a true story. And it wasn't like when we're doing a shoot interview or anything. I asked him about it. just says we were sitting there one day. I said, did this really happen, right? And he said, yes, Dory and Terry came up, I think it was like 1978, probably something like that.

The Kobo was down, and they worked a tag team angle with the Sheik and Abdullah. And they worked there, and they did these angles, and they had a number of houses that weren't any good. And finally, they goddamn have. the big blowoff match or whatever. And Terry said he was sitting in a locker room. I said, I looked at Junior.

I said, well, it looks like we're going to get at least finally get a decent payoff, junior out of this thing tonight. And just then Captain Ed George flung the locker room door open and said, the box office has been robbed. They got all the money. And they, someone apparently, and I, I think, didn't we, we had Bersensky tells this story, I think, at one point years ago. Yeah, he must have.

But I think someone actually did go to the box office and get the money, but we're not totally sure how it happened. And, and, yeah. It was also in question how many times the box office was robbed around that period of time. Well, that was, that was the only time it got knocked over while the funks were in the house. Because after that, they were. But yeah. They robbed the box office.

And that's what, you know, he had that second run, the time period that Sheik got to be a star for Baba and all Japan. And the Sheik and Abdullah versus the Funk's program and et cetera, et cetera, was, well, really 77 to 82-ish right before both the Japanese companies started really young in their rock. and up in their in ring. Also the arrival was Brody and Hanson. Well, Brody and Ed Hanson.

Yeah, which, you know, but that's the thing is the, Sheik's gimmick was so new and they'd seen the pictures and they'd never seen him live. And he got over massive as he usually did. But then after, unfortunately, after a few years, he was by that point, 50, what, mid-50s, at least, or late. by the early 80s and just it didn't work out and so then what did the one

was it the one guy I think they I don't know if they asked Solomon they had Jim Friedman who wrote the book Drawing Heath that was about small time Ontario circuit and the bear man Dave McKinney etc his sheik was working with but he was sheke and his wife

at one point were living in the kitchen the mansion because they come forward to keep it up. And that's, you know... I think that's the same guy that put it in perspective, because so much happened in this thing so quickly, and it went from black and white to color, and no one really put a gauge on it. And that guy said, he goes, he was born in the 20s. Yeah.

And that was like, the moment was like, wow, he really was like, by the late 70s, he was already incredibly old to be doing what he was doing, and then he just didn't stop. Well, and see, there was a thing, and again, Solomon covers. it in his book. And I'm trying to remember I put medical problems out of my head when I can, but he had had a major operation along about like 1975-ish and had a scar that was visible when he wore his trunks. I think it was some stomach operation. What do they take out of your stomach? I don't know. But that, it seemed like it changed his aura, his aura, his, his presentation because even for the people that were still scared of him before that

with gray hair and when he got flabby, when he had the scar, now it's like, oh shit, that's not a fucking, you know, superhuman creature. That's a kind of older guy. Yeah, and some of the later footage from, you know, just independent shows in Michigan, him and Bobo, for instance, you could tell he died his hair because all of a sudden it was jet black. Yeah. and then he went back gray later on

I guess he figured fuck it you know they know by now but that was the thing is you feel bad because the sheik and Bobo that sold out to Kobo so many times and all over the the Sheik and Bobo was a match underneath Tolos and Blassie

at the L.A. Coliseum in 71. I mean that match went everywhere And then they were doing it in front of 300 people in Brantford, Ontario or whatever, 35 years later. It's just... You bring up Tolus, I forgot all about it when FMW was bringing over the chic. Remember they booked for one of those stadium shows, Killer Kowalski against John Coloss? In like 1992 or 93? Yes.

Yes. And I mean, Tolos always was in good shape. But I mean, so was Walter. But Walter at that point was much older. think than Tolus was. They were both really old. It was a really bad idea and not a good match. Yeah.

But nevertheless, and then they covered the flaming ring match where they tried to and succeeded in setting the man on fire for real. You know, in Japan where he came back, the people, and this is a true story. They didn't make it up. The people on the plane that the sheik was flying. back from Japan after the flaming ring match with Oneida, we're complaining because they could still smell his flesh, his burntness of his flesh.

You know how the last time you burned a body, you know, you can't hardly get that smell out of your nose, right? I have no comment. But it was, you know, it was kind of off-putting on the plane to be smelling this charred human being. Well, imagine being that level of. have hurt that far away from home. Yeah.

And just wanting to get home, just wanting to get on a plane and get home. Jeez. Do you think they had your story early on with one of the unnecessary reenactments of the chic pulling up to the cobo in 88. Yes. In the middle.

What a great story, by the way. Do you think like a story about why it went south should have been presented? Like he showed up. They had a great house. He expected a lot of money. There was a problem in the next show. Well, I presented that story, but it didn't make the final cut.

But should we fill the people in or do they know it by now? I hate to repeat ourselves. We're talking about the sheik. We're on the subject. Yeah. They had brought the sheik back to the Kobo in Detroit for the Great American Bash 1988. Dusty was booking. Dusty knew how Dusty had worked in Detroit in the 70s.

And there's a famous picture. of Dusty with the U.S. title belt on the side of the ring with all the fans putting their arms around him. And there's black people and white people. And this is in Detroit in the early to mid-70s with the racial issues. And it's just an iconic wrestling picture, right? So Crockett was trying to draw in Detroit. Sheik meant something.

After all that time, he hadn't been in the Cobo in eight years. So they booked the Sheik in the main event. And I say this every time because they did a goddamn double turn, but originally, was it going to be Rhodes and Murdoch against Sullivan and Sheik? Or was it Rhodes and Sheik against Sullivan and Murdoch? And they did the double turn and came back with Rhodes and Murdoch against Sullivan and Sheik. But nevertheless, when the time came for the show, the Crockett, it drew his biggest house ever in Detroit.

it was over a couple grand over $100,000 at the Kobo look fucking great. They have the match. They do the angle to come back with the main event the next month, as I just said. And then the Sheik got mad when they gave him a payoff. I don't know how much it was that they gave him, but he had expected 10%. Because he was the Sheik and it was the Cobo and he expected this. So they didn't give him 10 grand. so he's

and fuck you, I'm not coming back. He's got, he'd been working in, he hadn't even been working in rec centers at that point in 1988. He hadn't been wrestling at all,

really, for a few years at that point. But I'm sure they gave him a couple thousand dollars. But it was a, a principal thing. He didn't get 10 grand. Do you think it's just

because Vince didn't need the help that he never did anything? A lot of those guys, you know, a lot of them were just to steal them from Vern, but a lot of the guys of that generation would at least show up at some point. You know, the Crusher,

team that Hulk Hogan out of nowhere. Mad Dog Bashan worked there. It wasn't ever, there was never like a big event. We're coming to Detroit, you know, and in this guy's corner will be the original chic,

or just the chic. Everyone started to call him the original chic when the Iron Sheik popped up, but it was just the shit. Well, there may have been, think about it, the Iron Sheik popped up in 1983. which is probably the first time

that Vince would have ever considered using the Sheik in any kind of legend role because of his national expansion because the one place, the Sheik worked the Northeast, even Madison Square Garden, Boston, Philly, whatever, late 50s, early 60s,

and had a few matches with Bruno. He worked at Boston Garden like 72. Yeah, not in Madison Square Garden, though, because of, I think, probably issues they thought they'd have with the Athletic Commission. But he was never one of the main guys there during the WWWF post-1963 era, except for a couple runs with Bruno, which didn't get to the garden. So I think that Vince Jr. thought I've got the iron sheik. it'll just be confusing.

And he didn't particularly, by that point, would the Sheik would have wanted 10%? I mean, who knows what conversation may have ever happened? Yeah, like you said, that's crazy just because you hear about his financial situation. And I'm sure Dusty didn't give him a bad payday. No, that's what I'm saying. You know, we were in a fucking tag match with the Fantastics underneath. And I mean, I don't have it in front of me,

but I would assume on that. house in that era that I believe we got 800 or a thousand bucks a piece in a tag match underneath. So I would think the sheik probably got a few thousand dollars, maybe a little more.

But God damn it, Brian, you got to stand up for yourself in this business. It's a principle of the thing. Well, that was the chic. And now we're ready for a next week is going to be by the way,

Daphne, which, I'm looking forward to, because I'm not involved in this. I'm just going to watch it as a viewer. But Stacey was really, she really liked Daphne. They were friends and not only when we used to go down for T&A tapings, but also they did the out of the Facebook or the internet,

whatever the kids do. And Stacey taught quite a lot of Daphne. So I'm glad to see she's got. I don't think I'm on this. I've commented. commented on it before, but who knows? I pop up everywhere. Is Stacey on it? No, Stacey's not on it. You never know. Well, no, we're not trying to do some kind of family package here.

But she just personally liked Daphne, and they used to speak back and forth. So we're looking forward to seeing that. But after watching all that chic, Brian, I'm telling you, I was ready for a good night's sleep. and I'll tell you what, I didn't have to go far to do it because all I had to do was walk right into my beautiful, spacious bedroom and flopped down on my comfy, spacious, helix sleep mattress. It's comfy because I ordered it exactly the way I like it and buy Cracky. That's the way they gave it to me. And it's spacious because I can, you know, Brian, I, I turn. this just to make sure I'm not growing.

I can lean caddy cornered on this on this mattress and touch my toes to one corner and I can't reach the other corner. That's how big it is. That's where you know you got room to spread out, Brian. That's what people, people are sleeping in confined spaces these days. Have you heard about this on the news? I've not, what news exactly are you talking about? America's well, yeah.

Well, no, you hear it on the news of people. as the modern world progresses and space becomes at a premium, people are sleeping in confined spaces. You got those businessmen's hotels over in Japan where they sleep in like drawers, like they did, and, you know, like on Seinfeld. You pull out the drawer and there's a person sleeping there instead of your old dirty underwear. Or because the mattresses have risen in cost in all these fancy, Dan, brick and mortar mattress stores over the past, number of years. A lot of people are opting to either buy a smaller mattress or get a big one and split it with their next door neighbor. And when they cut it down the side, it never really,

you know, when you cut that thing in half, Brian, it's going to lose some of its integrity. When you cut what in half? The mattress that you're split in your neighbor. No, you don't have to split any mattress. Don't cut the mattress. That's not what it's meant for or made for. And you do on these expensive mattresses from these big name retailers because they cost so much. You know, you got to go with sometimes they'll buy a mattress and not only will they cut it down the middle and split it with their next door neighbor, but then that guy will rent that piece of mattress out

to the guy next door. What? Just on the weekends when he has his son-in-law come on. I don't know what's going on over there in Louisville right now in that neighborhood. The point is you've got to save money and get a comfortable mattress where you can have a good night's sleep. Yes, I agree. Yes, and that's why you go to Helix.

If you've got night sweats, they can cool you down. If you've got back pain, they can prop you up. If you've got delirium tremens and wake up screaming every night, they've got actually deluxe mattress accessories including something you can stuff in your mouth

so you don't wake the rest of the house up. They've got all these type of things. And Brian, you know, we got a holiday coming up. Memorial Day, that's where you sit down and you memorize, you remember, all of the nights that you didn't have a good night's sleep. And then on Memorial Day itself, you buy you a new mattress. That's the way they celebrated over in Bolivia and parts of the Fiji Islands.

Well, we can save you money. We don't know any of that, but we could save people money. Let's focus on what we know. We know that. Yes, we do. And because all you got to do is go to helixleep.com slash JCE. and I'm going to tell you what the Memorial Day sale is in full force

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that you can stuff in your mouth in case you wake up screaming in the night. It does not come with that. No, no, and this has, Helix has nothing to do with your night sweats, Jim. Oh, so you're supposed to stick your head under the mattress protector, so when you're screaming in fear from your nightly nightmares, you won't wake up the rest of the house. Again, let's focus on the percentage of the audience,

which is likely all of them that don't have these issues. The pleasant night's sleep can only get better with a great mattress, a comfortable mattress, a mattress just for you. We have Helix here in my house. You have them over there. I know you love them. We love them. We love them. We love them. Helix. They're there for you. Tell them, Jim.

You love them. You sleep on them? Sometimes you just grab them and squeeze them real tight. Whether you got snoring or back pain or sleep apnea or whatever the case, you might be able to be addressed by one of the fine mattresses at Helix. You go, you take the quiz, you tell them what kind of thing you like, what problems you got. you tell him about that digestion and acid reflux in the middle of the night, you tell them about

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You have the flaming dead. You're going to save. 27% off sidewide, you're going to get a free bidding bundle. Oh, yeah. That sheet set and mattress protector with any of the Lux or Elite mattress orders. And that's the Memorial Day sale, but hurry, because that don't last forever, because Memorial Day is coming up. And then you'll just be screwed by the first part of June.

So anyway, Helixleep.com slash JCE. And just remember, folks, even if you weren't thinking about getting a new mattress as we talked about on the program here a week or two ago, just think of all the things that you've done on that mattress if you've had it for a while and or your significant other or your pet or anybody else that's been on it and the stains that they may have met and those sheets don't catch everything. It's going to end up on that stick your nose in the mattress you're sleeping on right now and tell me if you can get a good night's sleep.

Helixleep.com slash JCE. Just clear all that negativity out of your life for 2025. We love Helix, you will too. Helixleep.com slash JCE. Let's be positive here. Yes, no poop. On a Helix sleep, no, no vomit, no boogers. Why do you have to add any of this?

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Once again, let's just end with saying that the Helix promises you'll be getting a brand new, clean mattress. Brand new. Let's focus on brand new and just for you. That's the Helixway, helixsleep.com slash JCE. That's right. We won't even go into dust mites and earwax. Let's stay positive here. I'm positive.

There's dust mites and earwax on your current mattress. Helix! All right, well, now that we're all refreshed with a good night's sleep, and we have all of our faculties about us, Brian. Shall we delve into Beach Break from AEW? It was in Chicago that, noted place for spring break on the beach. Maybe he means it's a break from the beach for people who are at the beach.

They have to come back to the city from the beach where they are to have a break from the beach. Stop enjoying your vacation. Come back to the windy city. Yeah. Stop enjoying your vacation to watch our show. All right. Again, we're not going to try to do blow by blow on the matches. as much as explained while the match is blue.

No, just the, I don't, I don't know what the fuck. There's something in there somewhere, but they can't figure it out. And I mean, now Ian Rickabani is on the commentary team with Taz, an old sock face, and Tony Chivani was there because he did interviews, but maybe they're giving us a rest of that, or giving poor Tony a rest. senior citizen now. But the first

match was Will Osprey and Hangnail Page against Josh Alexander. They call him old one ear Alexander over there. And our friend take a shit.

So they can have another dream match that involves 18 fucking people and 16 matches that they're going to have in the future. but again did you notice during Osprey's entrance they got stuck in a double box with the same camera

and every time they were trying to get out of something did you see that first of all where they had the double boxed up was the highlight of the episode was when all of a sudden it was picture and picture of Osprey while Osprey was coming to the ring well yes it's the picture and I say double box that's a technical term the picture and picture was the same camera shot of Osprey walking to the ring and they would go full to a floor camera or something

then they'd try to go back to that shot and they'd have the double box again with the same thing. It was like something was stuck. So then they start to smash and it was like something was stuck. It's the same stuff they always do now with Alexander. And he was trying to be serious. and I mean, it's comedic that they, in his first night, and on television they introduced him as a guy whose ear once fell off

and he's got serious neck issues, so we're supposed to be scared of him. And then they beat him. And then they beat him and they beat him again, and now they beat him here. Don't forget they beat him here. But it was 25 minutes into the show, and there was still this match was going on.

and they did a contrived back and forth at the finish where the baby faces, because Hospry and Page obviously are about to clash or collide or whatever, and so they don't trust each other. But they did this back and forth where the baby face would almost hit the other one. And then the other one would almost hit the other. It was so fast you couldn't follow it. And they took it far enough that it just wasn't believable. they did every

every the baby face almost has a misunderstanding spot that has ever been done in wrestling all of the same finish and then finally both the baby faces gave Alexander their goddamn finish is at the same time

and beat him the only new fresh guy that might be interesting can we do something with him he hadn't won a fucking match yet it's the same thing they did to Kevin Knight he's a little good they bring him in he hasn't won a match. Maybe he ought to bring somebody in

and he looks like shit. Then he could win everywhere. Oh, I forgot. They did that with pockets. But anyway, after the match that was won by the baby faces that can't get along, then Take ran up behind Osprey

and ran him into Page and the heels beat up Osprey. But then he got up and started making his own comeback and then was spinning around nailing everybody. when Paige walked up behind him, spun around and nailed him too. So the only thing he was missing was Tanaka throwing salt in Bruno and Pedro's eyes, Tanaka and Fuji.

And then it's, they've been pushed into each other twice, I believe, at this point. They fucking, one's punched the other. So then they stood there and yelled at each other and made menacing faces. the end. Did I miss any of the finer points? It went a while. The crowd was one of those AEW crowds where they're there and they'll stare.

And then every now and then you hear a chant and you look at the crowd and you're like, well, they're not really moving. Is it really coming from them? But it must be. It's almost like a new operatic way of getting your voice out there without moving or something.

Well, they like Harley Cameron. She's a ventriloquist. it was fine. The problem was as soon as these four guys came out there, you knew that Josh Alexander was going to be the one to lose. Based on the way Tony books things and based on the people in this match, you just knew it. And that's exactly what happened. It just took 20 minutes to get there. I thought, just like you, the end spot where, and we've seen it plenty of times, where the baby faces almost hit each other and they tease, something could happen. It was contrived. Contrived is the best word for it. Why wouldn't a page I know has

been a heel, but now he's apologized for all the heel things he did, kind of, or whatever, but Osprey, why couldn't Osprey have accidentally just hit Page and Alexander beat Page and then Paige be mad at Osprey, but it was an accident.

But nevertheless. You know, the other thing is on the topic of Alexander, on the topic of Kevin Knight, whether they're world beaters or not, makes me wonder doesn't have to be them is there anyone that AEW has brought in and just put over strong right away I really put over like they go out there and crush

every week on TV for a month is there anyone well Bobby Lashley hadn't been beat yet that I remember has he wrestled four matches on TV in a month you know the way you would naturally try to get someone over all days put them on every episode crushing someone

until they're over no but I was going to say Shelton Benjamin has won most of them, but didn't they beat him three weeks in because they were bringing Lashley in. MJF, again, didn't do a lot of jobs, but didn't wrestle a lot. There's no, I mean, you know, pockets or one of the Japanese fantasy objects of Kenny.

You could actually argue they've booked Orange Cassidy stronger than anyone in the company in the history of the company. Yeah. That's why it's so laughable. But at least he's got two legs. Brian. That's not really a good transition here. Well, I think, you know, it's apropos, because at least Pockets has two legs, but our next

competitor does not. So apparently ricochet on collision on Saturday or Thursday or whatever it aired last week stole the artificial leg of Zach Gowan, who, has not been heard of, and at least that I know of, for a long, long time. And I guess because they were in Detroit, since they had Rhino come out and do a job,

they brought the one-legged man to have some kind of ass kicking contest and got his leg stolen, and now they drove him down to Chicago to get his leg back. And this is not a fucking rib, folk. They had ricochet wrestle a one-legged man

who used to be a wrestler 20 years ago and I wasn't in favor of it then and I know that there's been a lot of visually ridiculous things on this program from the talent to the artificial walls they build to throw people through to the special effects that have gone awry

but can you imagine anybody that hasn't ever seen this wrestling program but is predisposed to watch a wrestling show is used to the WWE but maybe he wants to see something a little different and is flipping around and sees a one-legged wrestler fighting the midget that stole his fake leg.

I thought he was more impressive too. If they really wanted to put him over other than the finish, I thought he was great. He stole the show. And the last time I had heard of him, I think he did an assembly at one of my kids' schools. Yeah. No, seriously, a few years back just about, like, you know, a motivational thing.

And they said it was good. He was a very nice guy. And every kid wants to get out of class and go to what somebody. Well, boy, by school in New York brought this guy in from Michigan to... I think it's like a circuit. I think, like, the people who go to your school, then go to the next school, then go to the next school. It's just they work a, like, a wrestling circuit, actually. Those people are...

They're operating out of a fucking unmarked. white panel van. Do you think this is the opportunity to bring back the legless guy from the early days of AEW in the battle royal and give him an opponent in his own division?

No, because he didn't have any legs. See, if he fought a one-legged man, that wouldn't be fair. Although maybe because he would have no legs, his balance would be better because, you know, seems like Gowan would be sort of leaning sideways a lot of the time.

Nevertheless, So they thought, I guess this is going to get a bunch of heat on ricochet to beat up the physically challenged individual, except that Rickishay from the start of the match was selling that he was afraid of the one-legged man and bailing out of the ring and fucking ah face like, oh shit, he's going to hurt me. and then everything on the air was the one-legged man kicking his shit out of ricochet. They did like two minutes, then they went to a break right as Ricochet had stopped him, apparently for heat. And when they came back, Gowan was starting to come back. And then Rickshay stopped him and hit a 360-degree splash off the top and got a two-count. and then hit him with a shooting star and got a two count

and then hit him with some other big kind of move I don't know the name of and got a two count. What the fuck on a one-legged fucking 40-year-old guy that hasn't wrestled in 20 years? And then ricochet went out and got the scissors. I can't beat him any other way. I must stab him through the heart. And when he gets in the ring, the referee who's knocks. So, of course, this is going to be horrible.

grabs the scissors away, goes to the ropes, and calls for someone to amble over and get the scissors from him. So he turned his back for 45 seconds. While Gowan hit, after Gowan has been 360ed and shooting starred

and Big Furnum-Durnumd, he's up and has got his own leg and hits not the real one, the fake one, and hit ricochet with the fake leg and covered him. And got a two-count. Goddair, at this point, just win even.

And then Gowen did a moonsault off the top, which he missed, and Rick Oshay hit a thinger-dinger, one, two, three. Everybody involved in this ought to be ashamed of themselves. And then Rickett got back on Gowin and Mark Briscoe ran out saving. But every match, either the heel is going to win, and then beats baby face up afterwards, or the heel is going to lose and then beat baby face up afterwards.

Your thoughts on the one-legged man in the ass kicking contest? You know, sadly, this was one of the more entertaining things on this episode. There were a lot of things that I couldn't sit through. This I had no problem sitting through. I thought Gowan, all things considered, was pretty impressive.

Obviously, he's been practicing what he could do in this. Like I said, I think the average person who tuned in, they would go, what is this? And then they would think he was the one being featured as a star, not ricochet. Yeah. There's so many problems with it.

And the fact that he can do all those things is amazing for him and spreads a thick layer of feces all over the credibility of the business. Okay, goddamn, do we bring a guy out in an iron lung and watch him climb up and do a moonsault? For the record, the last man in an iron lung died, I believe, last year. Well, he shouldn't try to do that moonsault.

Anyway, moving on to the one redeeming feature of this program, the Hertz Syndicate, we heard people. MJF was in the back, first of all. They're talking to him. He's excited. This is going to happen tonight. I'm going to be involved with the Hertz. And the question comes up, well, what are they going to do to you if they say no?

and then he's like, oh, you see him thinking. And then MVP comes in and says, we need to, you know, make sure that you come to the ring after our match tonight. We like, we've got something for you. Oh, so what's going to happen here? But in the meantime, they've got to have the world tag team champions wrestle every once in a while. But as we've talked about for weeks now,

it's ridiculous that there is no tag team physically over with the fans work-wise that is any kind of money match with these guys because everybody else is a bunch of fucking kids. And so here we have a couple of fucking kids, the Martin brothers, Top Flight, Dante and

Devonshire, whatever his name is. and you know, they worked this match smart, I think the Hertz did, because they had the baby faces open up with a bunch of flying, double teaming, got them off balance. They could take some bumps for them because, oh, shit, what's going on and everything and the faces did the snazzy stuff. And then, boom, they cut them both off. One of them was going to dive through on last,

Ashley and Lashley standing on the floor caught him by the neck and just fucking sput him around and rammed him into the post and Shelton suplexed the other. And they beat him up and they hurt or the hurt locked Dante. And that was it. They gave the baby faces a bunch of their shit at the start. But if they had beaten these guys up and then let them come back at the end, it would have been ridiculous. and also the match of short didn't have time for it.

So they got to shine in at the start and then boom, and it was pretty cut and dried from there. But you're thinking then, well, we're going to say, it's what everybody's waiting on. We will see MJF of what's going to go on here, right? That's the point of the thing. Well, suddenly, out comes Dustin Rhodes and Sammy Guavaara.

Sammy's still there. Did you know Sammy was still there? I did know that he was teaming with Dustin and Ring of honor. I didn't know he was going to be so well dressed. Maybe it's a new Sammy Gavarra. He was dressed in a pale blue prom. Remember, I told you that tuxedo that I wore to fucking Jerry Jarrett's housewarming? It was the same fucking color. I swear to God. So Dustin is out there with half his face painted his whole body suit on and dressed to wrestle and Sammy's in a prom outfit. And Dustin,

he said something that contained the word asshole and got it bleeped. But then the hurt syndicate is in the ring. Dustin and Sammy are on the floor. Dustin says, I think it's obvious what we want. And there was no reaction at all because no, no, it wasn't.

Because they came. Also, Dustin and Sammy came out. They've got like three or four fucking belts hanging off of them. They're a ring of honor tagging. team belts. There's another belt there. The two guys in the ring are the tag team champions. So they, they kind of half-ass explain they want a tag title versus tag title match, I guess. Or maybe they want just a match for the tag titles that the hurts have without putting up there. I don't fucking know. Because suddenly, music play, you think, where's MJF? The music plays.

here comes action Andretti and Leo Rush. And now it Crew. Their name is crew. Their name should be who are those two guys that are 12 years old and 5 foot two? Because they come out and as soon as Andretti starts talking, the fans are shot the fuck up.

And they're trying to bleep that. And Leo Rush talks to Lashley because they got his right and I've said Leo should be a manager god damn he but it they want a tag team title match both of them together are not as big as Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjamin's better wrestler and Bobby Lashley and then Dustin says no you can't cut in line and they all start arguing and an MVP has to say okay enough you all fight on collision and the winner gets us at double or nothing And I wrote good God because I see now the Hertz are trying to do their thing and their thing with MJF, but in the middle they got shoehorned in this confrontation between Dustin Rhodes and a bunch of fucking whining children about who's going to have the match at the pay-per-view that they had to do that and set up a match on collision and then get them out of the way so that they could do the thing that everybody was waiting.

on. And an MVP said, well, I'm being told we've got to go to a break. But when we come back, MJF's going to get what he deserves. So now the MVP has to be the host of the fucking show now. Before I go

any further, this what to f I would buy it if it was Dustin and Sammy and Andretti and Leo against Shelton and Bobby four on two. be entertaining enough they'd go eight or ten minutes.

Otherwise, what the fuck are we doing here? Were you hoping, like I was hoping, that crew would beat Dustin and Sammy? They got that tag title shot? Well, they're not going to do it until a collision. So we don't know yet. Well, yeah, and I think they may have taped it, or if they didn't. Either way, I don't know. Oh, so we do know.

I don't know. It's collision. I actually don't know for sure when it is taped or aired this week. but yeah that was a segment all right you know we said they had no tag team division and this was their response every tag team they could they got out there and this is all that they could and this is all they could i'm entertained endlessly by leo rush i've never heard action and jetti really talk before you know do something if you do something with them or do nothing with them not like do something every now and then for like a week with them.

That's what they're going to do something with them weekly. We saw them. It's like monthly. We saw them in one month. They were in the crowd in those big jackets. And we said, what the fuck is that? And then we didn't see it for another month. And then like they were in a random match.

And then we didn't see them for another month. It's just every month they make a random appearance. I think they wandered out in the crowd last week too, remember? They were, they came out in the crowd to watch another segment and then they were never seen again. so maybe they got lost or mugged or so I don't know I feel like if you're not at least five foot six you ought to have an adult company in you

at the crowd of a wrestling show and one more thing I'll say top flight they got fucking Layla Gray out there as her as their manager she's one of the best looking women in wrestling and she's like a feckless baby face manager why how does that help anyone how does it how does it help these two be baby faces

is when everybody's just sitting there going, what the fuck? Neither one of these two are good enough looking to fucking deserve her. So what, it's just a distraction. And why would she be there? Why does, do they need her help?

Why is she there? If you wanted to be a manager or a valet, make her a heel one and actually get something out of it. She's a really good-looking woman. But Missy Hyatt was really good looking when she was a feckless baby-faced manager for the Steiner's. It wasn't really working. And that was a, Steiner's instead of the

miscellaneous the nobodies. So add them fighting words, Brian. When you call somebody a nobody. I didn't know they were a team now. I knew there was one nobody. I didn't know there they were going to be a team. That's pretty scary. Nobody.

So they came back. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Nobody can do wrestling like you do. And nobody wants to see you too. So they came back from the break and then they called out MJF. And MJF's music plays, there's no MJF. Remember, he was a little nervous about what might happen to him when he, you know, comes out there.

So Shelton runs to the back and he goes through the curtain and he's going through the dark area and they go to what serves as the guerrilla position for them, and they had just enough light in there that you can see that Tony Kahn stands up with his headset on it, and I believe there with poor Jerry Lynn, who has to just see his life flashed in front of his eyes every time he sits at that table for a taping. And Sanjay.

And Sanjay. And Tony Kahn stands up, and that's where you talked about it earlier. He's doing the silent mood. comedian faces like Ben Turpin with the big eyes and the wiggling of the non-existent mustache and he's pointing he's back here but he's not really even mouthing words he's just got the big smile and MJF is hiding behind the table and Tony has does the marionette looking thing where he's the strings are being pulled he's here he's here so Tony got on camera and then Shelton goes

around there and grabs MJF and Shelton, buddy, I was just looking for you, baby. Yeah, you want to go out there? Yeah, that's a good idea. So, then they get out of there, thankfully, before

Tony had some kind of goddamn America's got talent act he broke into. And then once they get in the ring, MVP's promo teased that they were just going to kill And finally, he asks to the vote one more time.

MVP gives his thumb up. And then Shelton, Benjamin gives his thumb up. And then it's up to Bob. And Lashley puts his arm around MJF. And he sticks the thumb out and starts milking it. And in the back, Shelton is like in a stance for the super kick. Like, if that thumb goes down, I'm going to knock this guy's head off. and Lashley milks it, milks it, and thumbs up.

And the crowd pops. They wanted to see that. And the Lashley hugs, or MVP or MJF hugs Lashley. Hugs Lashley, he jumped into his arms. He jumped into his arms. I don't know if Lashley expected that, but that was pretty funny. And he kind of dropped him on his ass. And the fans started chatting, we hurt people, we hurt people.

we hurt people. And now MVP says next week, the official contract signing of MJF into the Hurt Syndicate. But there's one more little tease that they did a little bit later on in the back where MJF was all smiles and MVP, you know, says next week, we're going to present you your contract with the Hurt Syndicate. And M.JF says, I'm going to have my lawyer go over it. and I'm sure it'll be great, and he brings in his lawyer, Mark Sterling.

An MVP isn't real happy. He's talking about having a lawyer go over the contract, but I'm not happy that they've got this fucking underneath goof in this deal, which now is going to take away, hopefully at minimum, from what they're doing because Sterling's a goof. He can only be funny. Nobody ever believed in him, and he never had a position where you're sure. good. So I don't know why they got him stuck in his fucking thing. But otherwise, that's the way they left it. There's going to be a contract presented next week. And MJF is going to have the fake lawyer look at it and what might happen. But at least we got the three thumbs up. And MJ have said

the MVP, what would you do if you had a contract? Wouldn't you have your lawyer look at over? Yeah. And MVP had to say, well, yeah, that's what I would do. But again, if MJ.F. I've said to JF so smart, why does he have the undercard managing, comedy managing lawyer as his lawyer? See, there's the fly in the ointment. Although he did have that wonderful multi-week feud where it was Wardlow versus Mark Sterling and the security guards. That went somewhere. But you know, the thing is, Brian, for a while there, I was worried.

I was thinking, is this going to be a situation where they're going to turn on MJF, they're going to beat MJF senseless, they're going to excommunicate him not only from the Hurt syndicate, but from AEW in general, and MJF is going to be home without a job, without a career, without a way to make money. And nobody wanted to see that for poor Maxwell Jacob Feinstein, as Spectrum Cable calls him. They wanted to know that he had something to fall back on, Brian, And you know, I don't want to betray any confidences here, but everybody knows that I'm quite an MJF fan.

At least I have been in the past when he was allowed to shine. And I gave him a few words of encouragement and advice a few years ago. We were standing there and he said to me, he said, Jim Cornett, he said, how can I make sure that I don't end up broken penniless in a wrestling profession like people have done before me? and I say one word, one word to you, MJF, Shopify. And he took that advice to heart and I'll have you know. When did this conversation happen?

Well, this was years ago back in MLW when we were together. He picked my brain on a way to have something to fall back on and I said Shopify. and I'll have you know that now MJF has MJF Incorporated Limited Partnership Co ready to go on the internet as soon as this wrestling thing

doesn't work out well we don't know that and I guess maybe the head syndicate we want to learn these kind of facts before they get involved in business. I don't know whether I'm allowed to divulge that information or not but I'll tell you what he's going to be selling everything

from whiskey to widgets and Shopify which is the commerce platform well there's a big market for widgets these days just think about bridget the widget shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all of the e-commerce in the united states yes imagine that it's midnight and you're lying in bed and you're hitting the the button on that thing that you've been looking for whether it's the latest in electronic marital aids or whether it's just a pretty little vase that you want to sit on your nightstand and stare at as you're trying to sleep. But you're just hitting all these buttons.

And that purple shop pay button is the one you're looking out for because that one makes it easy to buy something online. And if you're with Shopify, then you get access to that purple button. Not to send people money, but to make money. Every time somebody hits a purple button, an angel gets its wings, and you get paid. Because Shopify gives you a leg up with hundreds of beautiful, ready to go templates to express your brand style. They can tackle all the important tasks, inventory, payments, analytics, lawsuits, potential product liability. Whoa, whoa. I don't know if they handle that, and of course, let's not worry about that.

Let's talk to Mr. and Mrs. America, doing business the right way with the right products, safely and securely for the American public. And, of course, use them, them being Shopify, they are there for you. They being Shopify for your business, Shopify. Yes, let's say, for example, that you want to sell some type of uranium on the dark web. Now, Shopify. No, Shopify will have nothing to do with that, and hopefully you won't either. and the authority should.

Let's stay away from uranium on the dark web. All right. Well, in that case, let's say that you want to take human remains and make the lampshades out of them. We will not say that. We will not say human remains. Let's say you want to take a...

We're not just the skin. Just the skin for the lampshade. Let's say that's the science of the lambs. Let's say you want to sell a nice widget online. Well, and all you've got to do is grab that widget around the neck and tell him, come here with me, widget, I'm going to sell you. And you put him up on Shopify and that widget is going to get sold and you're going to make money.

The iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world can now be connected to you. And every time that somebody punches that purple button around the world, you'll get, as a matter of fact, they give you a device you can put in your pants pocket. It will give you a slight electric shock. every time somebody price. So you'll know that you're making money and that they're working for you.

No, they not being Shopify. They will not be giving you anything that will give you an electric shock. Well, not even a shock. More like just a prod. They got the best converting checkout on the planet. Like you're waiting for a table at the Cheesecake Factory? Yeah, well, it's a little bit, it's a little bit stiffer than that.

You're going to know it's there, but that way you know that you've made money. Folks, if you want to see less carts being abandoned and more money going in your pocket, because of your business that you're running online thanks to the power of Shopify and their overlord capabilities over the rest of the puny peons on the internet. Go right now to Shopify.com slash JCE for a $1 a month trial period. They are only going to charge you the sum of $1 per month.

That's 100 pennies over 30 days for the trial period that they can show you what they can do for you. can then in turn later on you're going to have to show them what you can do for them and sometimes that can take a number of years and be quite painful but shopify.com not the way it works but shopify.com yes yes slash jCE that's the way that works and you're going to get that one dollar a month trial period where get in deep today because it's about as deep as I can possibly tell you to go shopify.com slash jce that's what they're doing over there that's what they're doing over there that's what we're doing over here

of course shopify powers our online store with the t-shirts with Travis Heckel's artwork and for the drive-through arcadiavanguard.com but jim let's get back to being balls deep in AEW dynamite well I wish that you hadn't said that because the next match was a four-way

for some unknown reason featuring Tony Storm sky blue mina melons and Azumi? Have we seen Azumi before? Azumi is another one of the

the perky, frisky little Japanese small people that Kenny paved the way for them to import here. Apparently she has a lot of fans. I didn't know how to pronounce her name. We've seen her name before, AZM, but apparently it's pronounced Azumi, and I

had not seen her rest of the form. I thought AZM was a subgenre on X videos. X videos. Is that a porno well if you don't know but they had a four way there well I guess we're still on the no we're talking about the rest of videos yeah we're still on X videos

yeah they had a four way thing there and a bunch of girls hair flew in the air and they all fought now they're doing it they're trying to I guess cross promote from

collision to dynamite here. We've said they should do that, but maybe they ought to keep us up on a few things a little bit better than they do, because out of the blue, there's Tony Chivani and Nigel McGinnis

standing in the ring, and Nigel wants to apologize to Daniel Garcia. And I thought at first, because he's apologizing because FTR beat him up on collision. Apparently he was apologizing because he had all he could stand, he couldn't stand anymore, and he jumped on FTR and got Garcia disqualified.

So Nigel apologized for overstepping his boundaries and interfering in old Danny's business and when Nigel apologized to the fans booed, that he apologized. And then Garcia didn't want the apology because he gave a rabble-rousing speech where FTR wants to end all of our careers, wants to do it.

Garcia is a horrible promo, and the material was putrid, but half of this sounded like Garcia was turning heel. Kind of almost like he was, I don't want your apology, like he was going to fuck Nigel up, but then he was like, if you're not going to stand beside me,

so then run back to be just an announcer. Or you can stand up with us, and fight these guys or whatever the fuck was going on here. And Stokely came out and I said, fuck it. I just, I didn't pay any attention until suddenly FTR came out from under the ring and they jumped Garcia and beat the shit out of him until old fat Mac daddy came in with a fake crowbar and ran him off. the one tag team that we mentioned

that you would take seriously against the Hurt syndicate, but the Hurt Syndicate and FTR are both portrayed as heels, but the Hurt Syndicate, because they've been portrayed as really professional-looking badass heels, the people are cheering them, whereas the people aren't really cheering FTR anymore, and they're not really overly booing them either because they've just buried those guys.

So, but now they're fucking, Daniel Garcia and Nigel is the match here. Because we haven't seen the color commentator can't take anymore, so he's going to challenge the heel thing anytime recently. So hopefully, you know, Nigel has no problem with Gunther, and he can return to commentary next week. You look, the problem is,

you know, FTR is stuck in that cycle too, like everyone else. If you're only working with these people and they've been doing shit with Garcia for a while, as we've said before, it ain't going to happen with Garcia. He's put on no size, he doesn't look like a wrestler, and he does the worst promos ever. And Nigel, I don't think Nigel's really been fully established on dynamite to the people who weren't following Ring of Honor or TNA and mostly Ring of Honor because he wasn't even Nigel McGinnison TNA 15 years ago. And that was 15 years ago. Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing is he did a match on a pay-per-view here not long ago, but on dynamite. You know he's an ex-wrestler.

You wouldn't have any idea potentially to how good he was from what they have presented here. Are you ready for the main event, young man? The big cage match, the big world title match, Samoa Joe and Dick the boozer. This match was putrid. Awful. I like Joe. Just awful. I like Joe.

But the best that Moxley can be is substander. It's just not possible, is it? Because anything he touches turns to shit. If you watch his work, his work is horrible. And then he relies on the same garbage over and over again. I don't know if it's because it's what he's. he likes or just all he knows, the standing there and trading the bad-looking forearms over and over and over again. Jesus Christ, the worst matches, the worst fucking heel stable,

the worst everything. What did you say? When Joe was hitting the ropes and coming back for the foot wash on the face and all that stuff, he can't even sell that. He just lays there and you see the foot go by him because there's no registering or reaction of the thing. but anyway, they started this match almost at 10 o'clock, so they went like five minutes or whatever, and then took a break at 9.57, and they were on break until 10 o'clock. And during the break, not only did all the groups apparently come to ringside, but Moxley started bleeding like a stuck hog.

So in the break, you miss the excitement. I don't know what the fuck they're doing. and when they came back from the break, they were standing in middle of the ring trading forearms. And at this point, the hard camera couldn't get its focus through the cage. I thought I was watching an old VHS tape. But finally, Joe gets a sleeper on Moxley. And the baby faces are all there to stop all the heels from climbing the cage.

And Willow can stop Schaefer and they get another girl to stop Utah. whatever. But some guy then in a black hoodie, we've never seen this before, some guy in a black hoodie runs up and slides the briefcase through the corner of the cage where it meets turnbuckles, into Moxley and Moxley hits Joe over the head

with the briefcase, it covers him, one, two, three. And then the guy whips his hood off and there is no reaction anywhere because it, I was going, who the fuck is that guy? And then the announcer said it, oh, it's Gabe Kidd. He looked like bald guy with a red beard. Hey, Josh Alexander took off his headgear. That was my first thought.

And yeah, they're very similar, aren't they? And then Kid and Claudio beat up Hobbs, Schaefer beats up Willow, Gabe hugs Moxley and in the Buccaro's music plays and here they come and there's no reaction Brian did you hear any reaction Brian there hasn't been a reaction in a while

for them it they just they walk down the ramp and where in the curious fashion choices that they have and they get in a ring and they offer their hands to Moxley. So now they're going to join with the boar horsemen. But then suddenly music plays

and here comes Kenny. And Kenny comes out and gets a fight with the heels on the floor, boom, boom. But then O Sleepy comes out again in the Marlon Perkins outfit from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. It's like a new take on David Burns outfit and rocking heads. Stop making sense.

And they get Kenny in the ring. When Matt, when Maddie, Maddie of the lollipop guild has come out, he's got a walkie-talkie because since they're EVPs, he got them to raise the cage and he can get them to lower the cage, right?

Because they're calling shots. Which is another thing about this whole thing that doesn't make any goddamn sense because apparently the whole idea of Moxley's thing is to he he hated the way the company was being run and the people in it so he wanted to fuck it all up so let's go to two of the people that started it to be on the same side what the fuck so they lower the cage and all the heels are in there beating up Joe and canny and they are not recreating the atmosphere of you know be it four heels on dusty in the cage

in the Omni. Because the fans are just kind of of, did you see how Okada was able to leave? Oh, and I forgot to mention that because you mentioned it to me and I said, what? I went back.

Okada didn't get in the cage with the rest of them because somehow while he was on the floor, oh Hong Kong Fui, Spitball Bailey himself ran out and fought Okada off. But to

reason why I didn't know that is because when you go back and look at the show, it's on screen for three seconds in the dark back of the arena. Good Okada is lazily jogging out of the entranceway and Bailey is behind him throwing the kicks and the guy's back. I'm going to kick you away from here. And so they were gone and they didn't even get cage. And then they've got fucking the cages down and they're beating up Kenny and Joe and then Squerves music plays.

And he just walks out to the ring and climbs the cage and all the heels turn and stare at him on top. And he jumps off on them and they all catch him and he lands and they all fall down. And then the cage raises. And the heels. And the heels. leave. And there's Matt on the

walkie talkie, hurry, hurry, hurry. There's still like six of them. And it's swerve. They've got the other two guys dead. And they raise the cage and all the heels run out. And then swerve gets to say once again how he's

the most dangerous man in AEW and he challenged them all for the garbage match at the pay-per-view. Anarchy in the arena. formerly football field fuckery, and which, how many boar horsemen and how many buckaroos, is, and which part is going to be, who's the teams here? Well, if it's five on five, I think that's what it's been in the past. Obviously, Moxley on one side, Samoa Joe on the other, you would think.

The Bucks and Gabe Kid on Moxley's side. maybe Okada too and on the other side you would have Kenny swerve and then there are two open spots is it speedball is it Powerhouse Hobbs who was involved in this

is it there I say Shapupi I don't know it better be Hobbs instead of Bailey or I'll know which team to put my money on would you send a Girl Scout into a goddamn war zone Did you see those kicks?

Well, I guess that's kind of what the Jackson's are. It may be valuable to have someone who can kick people away in the middle of that match. If you're trying to do something and one of the other guys is coming, you need someone to just start flashing those kicks like a helicopter and get rid of them. Well, it might be something to have somebody that can kick people away because they've already got plenty of them that can run people off. That Speedball Bailey thing is the funniest thing ever because someone said, go, you go out there, you, you go, go, go.

He goes out there and no one ceases it. I don't even did the announcer? mentioned it. I think they didn't say anything. Did they mention his name? I don't think they said anything. I think one of them after he was gone said, wait, was that Bailey? Oh, well, there it is. We get anarchy in the arena coming up at double or nothing. That'll be a fun review. It always is. It's always a memorable bad review. Will they play the music nonstop? That's been a thing in the past. Remember Chris Jericho made a big deal out of the brilliance of his character because he knew the would hate music so you had to turn off the music,

but we've seen it in the past, will we see it here? Turn off the radio. Well, Brian, here's a question I've got. Did anybody watch this thing this week? And we're talking about what is the date on this program, May the 14th? 14th.

Did anybody watch the thing? Well, we have them here, the AEW Dynamite ratings, according to Russellnomics. May 14th, 2025, 8 to 10.13 p.m. On average, watched by 682,000 viewers. Oh. So they put the cage match in, the big cage. It brought them another, what, 50 or 60,000 people from what they've been doing?

But the question is, did they hang out to the end to see it? Well, this is up 8% from last week, which was 629, and 14% over the trailing four-week average of 601,000 viewers up against the Knicks and the Celtics. He would have thought that really could have hurt this, and it doesn't appear that it did. I don't know that a lot of the AEW faithful are actually fans of real sports. Let's go to the quarter hours. These were compiled by WrestleMania Dynamics, AEW Dynamite on TBS, May 14th, 2025, not counting max. Allegedly.

Quarter one, 8 to 8.8.15 p.m. Adam Page. Will Osprey versus Josh Alexander and Konoske Tekechita with picture and picture 732,000 viewers. Aha, so they appear like they're going to keep their audience this week. I can't wait to see how this develops. We develop into quarter two,

8.15 to 8.30 p.m., the continuation of the previous tag match, a John Moxley Samoa Joe video and a top flight promo 689,000 viewers. And that's a drop of only 143,000, which is much less than normal from quarter one to quarter two, and they're going to keep pretty steady to make this average. Well, we go to quarter three, 830 to 8.45 p.m.

Zach Yowin versus Rick-Ache with picture and picture and then MJF promo 664,000 viewers Okay, they may have left for a little while on the one-legged guy and they'll be back shortly.

Well, we go to... They just hopped out for something to drink. We'd go to quarter four, 845... They'll hop right back in. Why don't they hire the wrong one-legged guy like Lauren Idis did for a natural feud between the two one-legged guys.

Zach Gowan used to be a waiter at the IHop, by the way, but... Okay, let's stop it. IHop is awesome for French toast. 8.45 to 9 p.m. quarter four. Top flight versus Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjamin. And the post match with Dustin Rhodes. Sammy Gavara in his prom outfit. Leo Rush and Action Andretti, otherwise known as crew,

and an ad break. 696,000 viewers. All right, so they brought 32,000 back and got the second highest rated quarter so far besides the start to see the Hertz and their various businesses. Well, that continues into quarter five, the big 9 o'clock hour, 9 to 9.15 p.m., the Hurt business and MJF's live promo, an ad break, and Tony Storm versus Mina Shirer.

Rekawa, Ressalonomics wrote it as Zam, Z-A-M, versus Asium. Is that how you said it, Asium? Azumi. Azumi. Versus Sky Blue, 685,000 viewers.

And at the top of the hour there, they lost 11,000, but the girl's match did start fairly quickly. We go quickly to quarter six, 915 and 9.30 p.m. The continuation of the previously mentioned

four-way match with picture and picture, and the post-match with Mercedes-Money and Jamie Hader, and the Sabu tribute video with Taz, 690,000 viewers. Remarkably, this is the most consistent AEW television program ever, because they have

had the biggest range was 36, 68,000 from quarter one to quarter three, and then they've bounced back up halfway. 689, 686, 685, 690. They got to be waiting for the cage match. That's the only explanation. Well, we go to quarter 7, 930 to 945 p.m. an ad break MJF and MVP

with Mark Sterling in the back the Nigel McGinnis Daniel Garcia Stokely Hathaway FTR Daddy Magic live promo and an ad break 655,000 viewers ooh maybe they shouldn't have put that right before the cage match

because now that's the lowest quarter of the show and they lost 35,000 Well, we go to the next 15-minute segment. Quarter 8, I remind you we have a 13-minute overrun. Quarter 8, 9.45 to 10 p.m. Samoa Joe versus John Moxley in a cage. Picture and picture ads.

651,000 viewers. Jesus. 13-minute overrun with the big post match with the Death Riders. Powerhouse Hobbs. Gabe Kidd! Okada, Omega, Young Bucks. Okada, Omega, oh, I want to take you. Swerve, and don't forget about speedball.

673,000 viewers. Okay, I'm mixed because I said they were waiting for the cage match, waiting for the cage match. The cage match starts, and it's the lowest quarter of the night. and the overrun, counting, I assume, the people that tuned in to see the first 15 minutes of modern family who picked up 22,000,

but it was still the third lowest quarter of the, fourth lowest quarter of that, whatever, the cage match didn't do so good in the overall scheme of things. It seems like it kept them there, and once it started, they said, fuck it. Very confusing. Well, that was AEW Dynamite. Obviously, things are heating up for them on the road to double or nothing.

They're doubling down. And Saturday night's main event on Saturday and double or nothing on Sunday for Memorial Day weekend. We don't even get a holiday from this abuse. Oh, well, Brian, what in the world are they doing over there to abuse people at the Arcadian Vanguard Network work this week. No one's being abused and I'm losing my voice, so we'll make this quick. Go through the archive of everything or do whatever you need to do. On Twitter at Super Podcasts, Facebook.com slash Arcadian Vanguard every day, the wrestling news. You get everything that's happening for free. What's better than that? The morning wrestling newscast with Mike Sempervivi. Get it today,

the wrestling news.com. Shut up and wrestle with Brian Solomon. Has a great episode up with the Blue Meanie, a tribute to Saboo. Hear that. today at S-U-A-W-Podd-com. I'll look for shut up and wrestle wherever you find your favorite podcast. And, of course, the 605 super podcast. Don't do it. Don't do it.

The mothership! All right. I was hoping the extra drama would hide what has been taken away. Go through the archives, 605 pod.com. Wherever you find your favorite podcast, The Mothership.

You said three hours ago, I woke up with a sore throat and I'm losing my voice. Now it's starting. I powered through for a while, the adrenaline of this scintillating wrestling talk really got me going. And now, well, we're going to try to scintillate a little bit more because what we did, we promised last week that we were going to start looking at the AEW roster because

the conversation has turned over the past several shows to what can they do? Who can they have work with so and so? Who can they possibly elevate whatever? So we are going to be examining the roster. and now that we have learned that again, we did this a few years ago, thought maybe they might have smartened up, but the roster is,

Brian, what did you say it was over 150 individuals easily is on what they admit is the active AEW roster? And again, I'm going based on their website. I'm going based on what's on their site under roster, because there are some people here that I don't know. That might be a clue as to, although you can't take it as gospel just because it's on their website and they claim these people. But since there's so many of them and both of us have pressing issues,

you would try to regain your voice and me with trying to avoid being blown away in severe weather, we're not going to do all of them in one clip. I think that would be a little bit ridiculous. So one thing that we have talked about is the dearth of the, of talent and talent that can be focused on in the women's division in AEW. The WW has pretty much won that horse race handily. And that's a surprise with Aubriette on the AEW side. But we thought we would take a look at the women's roster,

which is a little bit smaller, and see what what treasures lay at a sea of mediocrity there. and we'll start tackling them first, correct? Well, we could do, obviously the men's roster is gigantic. It may be a two-part or just that alone. The women's roster is here. We also have the broadcasters. I don't think we need to do the referees or the coaches.

You know, from what I've seen, I'd pretty much start from scratch with a scorched earth policy with the referees. I don't even know who some of these people are. Who's Ariel Levy? He's one of the broadcasters. I've never heard that name or seen anyone described as that name on the television. No Caprice. I didn't know Caprice wasn't doing Ring of Honor anymore.

Ian Rickabonni's here. I don't know if this is just AEW. It appears to have a lot of Ring of Honor people. So I don't know. Bobby Cruz is here next to Carlos Cabrera. I think the Ring of Honor folks should be there as well. Well, let's go to the champions currently for the women's division. the AEW Women's World Champion is Tony Storm

and the TBS champion is Mercedes Monet. Well, first of all, let's answer the easy one. No, I would attempt to get, I would call my credit card company and dispute the charge on Mercedes Monet as quickly as possible. And I just would like to just not see her anymore on television ever again, doing anything. A give her a... Tony Kahn's got an unlimited amount of money, right?

He could say, look, here's a vacation for you and your whole team to the Amazonian rainforest. Because the way that she gets stuck in the wilderness just here in this country, we'd never see her again. And what Tony said, because you'd save whatever millions of dollars that Tony was suckered into paying for her when it's just no, no. No, no.

If she was as good as she comes off thinking that she is, that would be great. But new. Tony Storm, gimmick or not, I'd keep her in a heartbeat because people love her. But I believe I would have tried to take advantage of her Thespianism, her acting talent, without letting her go full-fledged into just a fucking psychopath that everybody's going along with and it became just a rib. But and some people are going to say, well, that's the point of the thing,

but I don't know particularly that her going all this far with it has helped as much as what she's just done in the ring with a few select individuals. But nevertheless, so I'd keep one and I'd boot one. What are you snapping or clicking over there? What's going on? I'm sorry, I got my pen because I'm writing down what you're saying. I'm picking up with it. you're laying down. I'm writing down these names.

I'm making my list. I'm checking it twice. All right. Mercedes is gone. Tony is here. What do you do with that savings? The money. God damn, you could cure cancer.

All right. Let's go to the women's roster here. Again, this is according to the official AEW website, AEDW or all-elit wrestling.com. The first one is someone I thought had left the company, so I don't know. the living dead girl Abadon

Abadon. Abadon would be gone, gone, gone. What the, that's a complete rib anyway, remember? Like, it was like a half-baked Pillsbury biscuit

with makeup on. Okay, let's move on here with the list. Anna J. You got to keep Anna J because I don't want you to cuss me. But she's a young girl and she's very fetching. She seems to be somewhat athletic.

And we're bearing in mind when we make this list that the one thing we don't know is how attitudes are or learning capabilities. But it would be worth putting her in a good, decent, wholesome training program and train her various talents in the right way. So now we're two and two. The Ring of Honor Women's World Champion, Athena. Help me. Oh, wait a minute. She's the one that used to have the big ass that she would sit on people and just be real stiff,

but last time we saw her, she lost some weight. Again, this may not be my recollection of things. Maybe this is the way you remember these things, but Athena, she is the Ring of Honor Women's World Champion. Well, whoopty-ding. I don't know. Let's put her in the middle because we may have to come back to that. I don't know that I would boot her completely,

but if it's the one I'm thinking about as reckless as she used to be, I'd boot her in a heartbeat, but she may have, she may have got better. This next one's an interesting one. Dr. Britt Baker, DMD. I mean, do we have to pay for the private detective to find her? or can we just call her up and ask her to come back to work? At one point, I would have said, yes, when they first started, I said, well, she's attractive,

she can work a little bit, she's a professional, you know, a good face for the women's division of the company, but six years later, I think a bunch of people have figured out that maybe she wasn't all she was cracked up to be, and I think she needs a rest. I believe I'd let her go. Well, she's resting now because she doesn't, show up, but I don't know why she's still getting paid. Hypothetically, I'm not even saying it's Britt Baker because there's two sides to every story.

But if you know someone's a pain in the ass and you know you're paying them well and you know that their position or their stature would kind of necessitate a raise whenever their contract was up to hold on to them, but they do either create problems or get involved in problems or are in the middle of problems. with various people at various times. Do you almost want to feed that sort of energy to WWE? If you're not, it's not going to affect your business. Do you almost want to say, you know,

this person's a bit of a pain in the ass in the locker room. Let her go do this over there. Well, I think the WWE has done a little bit of that on their side. It might be time they get a little taste of their own medicine. The problem is you can lead the WWE to the horse, but can you make them drink it? Or whatever that old saying is. All right, well, Jim, next on the list.

The virtuosa, Deanna Parazo, and I guess she's also part of a faction. It says, The Vendetta. You know, she wasn't bad. What we saw. we haven't seen her in a long time she wasn't probably going to make a big difference in

the fortunes of this business either way but I can't say that she wouldn't be good to have to work with any top girls you might be able to establish so let's keep her on for a second and again she may be a case of someone who has been in and out

of the show. There was never really anything done on a multi-week level to establish her and get people to care. You know, you do vignettes, but if they just pop up every now and then and then nothing happens, they don't really meet anything. Well, but besides, on the other, the other way to look at it, though, is she hasn't been around long enough like some of the talent where they've just done so many stupid things. You're like, oh, please, I don't see any more of this shit. So she's, you know, reasonably fresh.

Next on a list here, Jim. Diamante. My God, have we seen her in five years? She was with L.A.X., right? Was that? She was with, what was the name of the, the girl who they fired because she was, who did she stiff on TV?

Was it Thunga Roses? She, like, just stiffed someone on TV and, like, made a face, like, oh, God, rolled her eyes. She had a partner. Evil lease. Evilise. She was evil. at least. Yeah, at least.

Let's assume that Diamante ain't ever coming back because we haven't seen her in five years and she's on the gone list. All right, the next one here, you have to see this fetching photo one day. Emmy Sakura. Oh, good Lord. Can we get rid of her

and then bring her back so we can get rid of her again? We have not seen Emmy Sakura in a while. Emmy Sakura was a semi-regular presence in the early days. If she's still on the roster or on their roster page, do you think I mean she's still under contract? She's still getting paid? Is that all this is, is just everyone under contract? Your guess is as good as mine,

but if they're blatantly featuring someone on their website as part of their roster that we haven't seen in years, you would think they're still affiliated and still getting paid. Jim next on the list here, the AEW women's roster, Harley Cameron. Again, people seem to like her, as you mentioned. She's very talented, just not in wrestling. But I'm going to keep her because it doesn't mean she has to be a wrestler. There's something to be done with somebody that has talent,

even if she was one of the announcers instead of the miscellaneous people they find to stand there just hold a microphone. Renee Moxley Good adds nothing to the thing. Miss Atute. You know, Harley Cameron could do something a little different or a manager or a valet

or a female assistant of some kind. I wish I had a time machine and I could manage her in vaudeville. I feel like I'd make a fortune. There you go. And have a little monkey dressed up in a suit on a leash next to you. Perfect. Well, Jim, next here on the list, Hikaru Shita.

Again, I, you know, they have poisoned the opportunity for any female Japanese wrestler to really shine in this company because of all of the ridiculous, unfit, untalented, indie, level silliness that they have presented that if you lined everybody up on the stage in a police lineup, they wouldn't be able to tell Amy Sakura from Akaru Shida from fucking et cetera, et cetera. Because everybody dresses and acts the same fucking way. I take that as you will not be bringing her onto your list. I will not be bringing her onto the list.

I used to think that, you know, her specifically, because I don't think you could frame them all one way. but I think you specifically were unfair to her, and I put over her work, and then I started watching her. Her work's awful. She's the most overrated. I have to say it.

She's the most overrated. I think people like her just because they know Kenny likes her. So it's like she must be good, because Kenny wouldn't be friends with someone who couldn't work a great match. But she's, she's... Rejo! She stinks. Rio's better than her.

Rio is better than Akaru Shita. Let's continue on this list here, Jim. Jamie Hater, that 70s girl. God. Again, I saw the other night. It's just, it's off putting. It looks like fucking Richie Cunningham and drag trying to beat somebody up. It's, if there's a talent, let's write her down. There's a talent underneath there, but I'd fucking stick, I'd turn a bucket of black paint over her head and I'd stick her in something that showed whether she had curves or just lumps or something stuck in her pocket. All right, Jim,

on the list from the Hounds of Hell, Julia Hart. Julia Hart, again, she may not be a great wrestler, but she's got a great look. And, you know, I'm writing down these keepers, but then I'm writing them down to be something else besides wrestlers. We've got to be careful we don't have too many of those. Well, let's keep Julia right now. All right, do you keep the next one here on the list, Jim?

Camille. Well, the question is, did they keep you? keep Camille. Where be Camille? Of course I'd want Camille if I'm opening up a women's division from scratch, so we'll keep her. So far, she and Tony Storm would be fighting over the title. What if there's a whole community of these wrestlers on top of the mountain

at Darby's climbing that are just, they've been booked off the shell. That's where Tony has sent them. Yeah. So it's like one of the, a really souped up NDA deal where if you want to stay under contract, but you can't talk, so we're going to put you on top of Mount Everest.

And then Darby comes and he discovers a vault door at the top, and he opens it, and all the fucking trapped wrestlers spill out. Darby's going to, I mean, what a baby face. He's climbing Mount Everest to save with his skateboard, with his skateboard, to save all the wrestlers that have been booked into oblivion.

And then it'll look like the entire Marvel universe has been released, and there'll be Darby like the silver surfer on the front of it with his skateboard, bringing them all down the mountain. Right, Jim, next on the list, I don't know where on the mountain she would be. Karen Jarrett. Well, no, you can. I'm not even putting Karen in this discussion because she's not a wrestler or going to wrestle.

But when we get to Jeff, I would have Jeff with Karen if I was going to have Jeff, but not on this list. What about Kiera Hogan? I, you know, if she's not going to bring Brooke. and Nick, she can't come. She's off the list. And I don't remember the last time we saw her on this show, so I don't even know what she's doing. She was one of the baddies, remember, with Jade Cargill?

Ah, that's right. Well, Jade left and took her baddies and went home. That's still one of the most remarkable entrances ever. Jade would come out there and do her pose, and then on either side of her, she would have her baddies, whose move was to turn away from the camera and bend over, so it was just their ass in the air, and then shake their ass. That's still one of the most remarkable entrance.

as I've ever seen, but I guess Kira Hogan can't make it on your list. What about Chris Statlander? We got to keep poor Statlander, we got to keep her because one of these days if she lives long enough, she might be a star.

What about Laila Gray? Who in this photo is wearing some bizarre like, it's not a military uniform, but it's kind of, because the colors aren't military, but it's like an old school 1940s. she's saluting something I don't know what the fuck

Well I don't know what Let's let Layla Gray go for a couple years to join the Peace Corps It'll make a man out of Oh see I think she's the one Who could probably be a good valet

But who knows Madison Rain Madison Rain here on the list Yeah They hired her to be a coach She has not wrestled there Or at least we haven't seen her on television and I can't evaluate her coaching because I know people there that in the past have known what the

fuck they're doing but you still see these matches so I'm assuming and have been somewhat told that just nobody listens so I don't know what she's telling them but I'm not going to put her on this list of active wrestlers so she might have to go well speaking of people that aren't active wrestlers, although they are under contract, we believe, still. Mariah May. Yeah. Oh, because Tony's miffed because she wants to go to the big show, as they say, and I'm not talking about Paul White.

So he's just put her on ice, but we would keep her, again, providing that any and all of these people can be produced and have a good attitude and want to pull the same rope as they say. We got to keep Maria. What about the problem? Marina Shafir from the death riders. Let's let her ride off into the sunset. Because, I mean, you know, she has a striking look,

but unless the guys are going to be allowed to get even, I'm sorry, but she don't need to be beating up any guys. and I don't recall her work being that stellar. And she's had the stench of grisly death on her because of being involved in this whole boer horseman thing. So let's let's let Marina go to Marina del Rey. All right, I guess goodbye, Marina. What about Megan Bain?

We got to keep Megan Bain until we can figure out what's wrong with her that she's not somewhere else becoming a star. She's got the look. I'm going for star. stupid. She's got the... Let's not start guessing what her problem is, but she definitely has the look of a star.

You've got to say. There's evidence. She apparently is dating jelly Nutella. Oh, that's always like a good road up on the Indies. So, you know, I see, that's how this little weasley con man, part-time fucking meth addict-looking guy

gets these girls because he makes a... I can get you booked on the spring break and I can enhance your career or whatever, because he's a good con man, he's just a rotten wrestler. But I think that's what it is. She's got to be really fucking stupid to fall for that. And that's the only, because she doesn't have a visible flaw. So we'll see what happens.

Let's keep her. They're going to keep her. All right. Mercedes Martinez. If she indeed hasn't died of old age since the last time we saw her, Christ. Well, I mean, what the fuck? How long has it been? You know... She's a diet of old age.

She's been on TV in five years. I think, you know, let's go for... She's a good worker, or I remember her being a good worker, but let's try to go more for the modern era. Jim, what about from the patriarchy? Mother Wayne. well again she's not a wrestler i've never met this lady i'm not trying to say anything bad about her and her poor husband passed away the only bad thing she's done is have that fucking moot-faced kid uh but she's not without nick plain nick plane's mom becomes unnecessary and you wouldn't have nick plain so i think mom wayne you know because you know what they say when you send the way

to Spain, he's off a plane. So put him on a train. Well, we're not talking about him, we're talking about her. Well, they're both going. We just ain't got to him yet. All right. What about Nila Rose? Again, when's the last time you saw? Yeah, where's Nile Rose been? We haven't seen her in forever. You could do some with Nila Rose with the size alone.

She's been gone long enough that they don't remember that she was beaten by many people half her size. So I would attempt to rehabilitate Nila Rose, if possible. And again, she had Vicky Guerrero as a manager and, uh, that didn't help anything. I don't know if that helped anything. And she lost a rehill a few times,

but that was a long time ago. What about the super bad girl, Penelope Ford? Good old Penelope pitstop. She's another one of the Janella castoffs, right? She's got dried jelly on her. No, there's no, there's no facials. She's an athletic cheerleader that is doing wrestling moves by rote.

She's not pretty enough to hang in the WWE with the major leagues, but she's pretty enough for the Indies, but she's adopted an indie style where she goes from move to move. Like, this is what we do next, this is what we do next. And, no, I don't, I think we've seen the best we're going to see. I think that would be the big thing. I don't know how much improvement there's been in her work

and five years of being on national TV. In fact, it may have gone into retrograde. I don't know. Jim, what about Queen Amanata? I remember she's painfully thin. No, she's not. She strikes me as I remember her being tall and thin. what tall, I think would be fair.

Well, and she's a queen. That would mean possibly she's also somewhat thin. I don't know. I don't want a bad mouth anyone, because I can't remember ever watching her fucking work. So let's put her in the middle. Okay. Here's the name we haven't heard

in a while. Rebel. Good Lord, I think she retired from the business. She was doing the thing with Britt Baker, but she used to work in T&A before that. She was in, I think, a dancer in the music business, whatever. I believe I liked her,

old Reba as the sidekick of Britt Baker, but I think we got to put her on the no list because I think she's already gone anyway. See, that was Britt Baker's best stuff when she had Reba and she had Jamie Hater. Like, it all worked. And then there was no payoff because they never had a big blowup between Britt and Hater.

So. No payoff should be the title of the book. book on AEW. Now there's a fluffy book apparently coming out that'll be filled with lots of fluff about the fluffy wonderful time that everyone's had over there. We'll see. Are you trying to say that a lot of these girls are fluffers? I'm not saying that about that. That's not in any way what I said. Let's move forward with this list. Jim, the Ring of Honor Women's World TV champion, red velvet.

Again, I remember painfully thin, very small. We haven't seen. We haven't seen. We haven't seen her on regular television in ages. She used to do the standing moon salt where she would miss people every time with it, didn't she? She may have done that for a good while, yeah. I mean, you know, eh, I put her in the middle. Jim, what about Reho?

Reho, got to go. To Soho. Yeah, Rehose. is gone, she has gone so fast that she will meet herself coming in. I'd keep her. She'd be on my list. Jim, what about Ruby Soho? Ruby So-So, we haven't seen her in a long time.

What happened to her? She got pregnant. Goodbye. Ruby So-so, you didn't take your pill on time. Oh, stop. Will you stop? Now you're... Now you're growing a fetus inside you, and it's all on my dime.

I believe she may have had the child already. I think I heard that. Well, bring them both back to work. Jim, let's move forward with this list. Hold on. Where am I putting her? It sounds like you want to keep her and the kid. I don't know what the hell's going on over there.

Let's keep her for a while. See what happened. If she's refound her dedication, not going to go, off willy-nilly and get impregnated again. It's part of that big angle with her and Cool Hand Luke. Remember, Saraya turned out in the... Apparently used more than his hand, or we wouldn't be in this situation. Well, she's on this list, even though she's not there anymore, I don't believe, Saraya,

from the outcasts. Didn't she just say she quit wrestling? Is it just a thing where her contract actually hasn't run out? Or did they just not take her off their website? I don't know, but I'm taking her off my list because she got a rubber band neck and I don't think I think the time has passed. The woman of a thousand holds Serena Deeb. Serena is a very good worker.

She spent a lot of times. She trained with Rip Rogers, trained in OVW with a lot of the trainers we had. She's been around the business for a while. The way that they presented her was so disinteresting. But if you're going to have a division of women, if she's not on the roster, she'd be the trainer to me, at least for in-ring work,

not promos or, you know, goddamn, hey, Serena, give them a lesson in Chicago wrestling history. That might not be it, but training women how to actually in-ring wrestle, I would think they could do worse. What about sky blue? Boy, she's, is she the one who's ass you like

first of all I don't think I've ever said that or like that on the show and there are other but there are other women I mean it's not like she would be unique and I'm not even saying it would be her but you've beaten around the girls bush about it okay you've turned this AEW women's roster review into something out of fucking

hey that's because like Francis from Fort Jonathan Ontario said I'm sexiest All right. Well, that doesn't mean you have to make this screw magazine, I guess is my point. Well, I'm sorry, Brian Goldstein. Well, let's, where were we? Is there another name? Are you keeping sky blue? You didn't say that. All you did was make some kind of accusation about me. Hervert.

I can't, I can't remember. She's an attractive little thing. Let's put her on the list to see what happened. Just returned, I believe, the wrestling. Here's another one we haven't seen in a while, but I guess, based on when she would have had her child, if she was going to return, it may happen. Ty Mello. Oh, I remember Ty Mello-Conty? Yeah, she's the one used to talk about how you liked her ass, right? No, I don't think she had that good of an ass. Okay, you're remembering.

Maybe you're thinking to the wrong person, then. I'll stick up for her here. Oh, I'm trying to remember. Melo, maybe that was, that was some other kind of... I'm trying to think of who. You've dragged me down. down to your level. Why don't we talk about?

All I remember is we used to make jokes about Ty Mello's name. She was married to somebody and then she broke up with them and she had another name and then she came back and she was with and had another. I don't. Was it Ty Conti? Tai Conti, yes. Sounds like a Ford dealership. All right.

We don't care. Anyway, she's not on the list. Go ahead. Tri County. Ty Conti Ford has the brand new. Try County. See, Ty Conti Ford. at Tri-County.

Jim, also on the list. Also from the Vendetta, Taya Valkyrie. Again, I was a fan of hers because she has size, she had a look, seemed like that when I saw her on some indie shows, she could work, but then when we saw her in this atmosphere for a little while, it was like, but she was also in with some people that were, but then we saw her several months ago she had somewhere or another her hair turned some kind of mellow yellow

greenish yellow type of thing maybe she was showering with tie mellow but is she still even there I don't know she might she might I don't know let's put her in the middle all right Talia in the middle only a few more names here Jim Thunder Rosa. Thunder Rosa, same thing as Serena Deeb. She's been around a while. She can work, but the way she was presented, blah,

and then she had issues, or the other girls had issues with her, or she had issues with them. Thunder Rosa, again, it can have a good match, but can she draw you any money? Probably not, but then again, most of the people on this list can't either. She and Serene ought to be the coaches. We'll put her down.

We'll keep her for right now. Willow Nightingale. Willow, let's keep her. She's got a bouncy fucking personality. That's people like her smiling. She's been booked like shit too, but we're just talking about, we're looking at these women like purely like pieces of meat.

No, we're not. Yeah, yes, we are. We're not looking at them like they, been they've been ruined by bad booking or they've got bad attitudes or they're related or married to people that have bad attitudes. We're just looking at them purely like pieces of meat that if we were promoters and bookers having a women's division, would we want them on our roster or not? That's the fairest most unmasogynistic way to look at it.

Look at them like they're just strictly pieces of meat. Is that the way we look at the men's roster too? just like they're purely pieces of meat, tube steak smothered and underwear. All right, let's get, we have one more name here on the list, Jim. Just like the spots we do. You save it for the end, and then you just go over the top. The magical girl, Yuka Sakazaki.

Oh, let's, every time I see her, she makes me Yuka. Let's get rid of her as quick as we can. Okay, so. That is the women's roster of AEW. Well, hold on here. 10, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 11, 1,000, 16, 10, 13, 3, 4, 2, 5, to 6. That's 38 women. 38.

But when you go down the list of people we hardly ever see, hold on, let me check those off. Okay. Unfortunately, we see too much. of her. And and Counting Sariah who said she's gone.

We don't really see Rosa a lot anymore. We don't see Serena a lot anymore. Ruby's out there popping out to kids. Now the Rose is gone. So out of that, what did I say, 38 to 3, 4, and also red velvet where she been

five of honor seven eight nine ten eleven twelve twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen seventeen eighteen out of the thirty eight nineteen nineteen people we haven't seen in months or years and out of the thirty eight

I kept sixteen with four more in the middle and and that was on first blush if I had to pare it down to actually meet a budget and or considering that some of these girls would be projects if you had a training program, you could get rid of another half a dozen of them. So you'd come up with, if you count the ones in the middle, we got 20, you'd come up with 10, 12, 14 that you could try to do something with is the basis of things.

So I'll keep this paper and we'll come back and revisit that. All right, well, there it is. Don't, what are you ripping? I ripped it off the pad so I can keep it in a file. All right, well, ladies and gentlemen, that was the, uh, hey, now you want to hear something else? There we go. What are you ripping that? What are you doing now?

That's the notes for today's program, because we're done with it. Why rip them? There's so much you could do positively with that. What if I could have put them in a landfill to help aid the environment? For the library, for the Hall of Fame. well in that case i'll rewrite my notes and have somebody type them up all right well that was the a w women's roster as of this moment according to their website so uh we'll return next time with the men's roster yes and or anything else that managers and announcers and all that other type of thing

the ancillary people as well this may take a while to muddle through this list but we're gonna we're going to figure out 50 people or so that Tony Kahn could keep and actually try to draw some money with once he got a new booker. All right, and we're going to get a new show because this is the old show and it's over with. Brian, any parting thoughts? Enjoy your week, ladies and gentlemen. And we will be back on the drive-through, which this week will be pay-per-view-free, ladies and gentlemen.

You got that to look forward to. And until then, for Brian, I'm Jim, and for Ty Melloconti. Thank you, fuck you, and bye, bye, everybody.