Jim Cornette Experience - Episode 627: Gravy On My Plate

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

This week on the Experience, Jim is in a bad mood and reviews AEW Dynamite and WWE Smackdown! Plus Jim talks about AEW's Wembley ticket sales, Mike Santana's vs. Steve Maclin at TNA Sacrifice, spot shows, and much more! Thanks to our episode sponsors: HELIX:  Go to helixsleep.com/jce for 27% Off Sitewide exclusive for listeners of the Jim Cornette Experience!  HARRY'S:  Our listeners get the Harry’s Plus Trial Set for only $10 at https://www.Harrys.com/JCE  #Harryspod THE PERFECT JEAN:  F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code JCE15 at theperfectjean.nyc/jce15  #theperfectjeanpod Follow Jim and Brian on Twitter: @TheJimCornette @GreatBrianLast Join Jim Cornette's College Of Wrestling Knowledge on Patreon to access the archives & more! https://www.patreon.com/Cornette Subscribe to the Official Jim Cornette channel on YouTube! http://www.youtube.com/c/OfficialJimCornette Visit Jim's official site at www.JimCornette.com for merch, live dates, commentaries and more! You can listen to Brian on the 6:05 Superpodcast at 605pod.com or wherever you find your favorite podcasts!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Like the midnight and the rock and roll. He's in a fight for wrestling soul. Using a racket and some mind control. He's in Connett. The keys to the future. Hell by Annette. Here is today our best show ever because I have almost no idea what I'm going to fucking say. And joining me for all this and more.

Hawaiian Brian the podcasting line, the king of the Arcadian Vanguard podcast network, Mr. co-host to you. He built a better mouse trap, but they made a smarter mouse. The great Brian Last, everybody. Aloha, Jim. A pleasure to be here.

My keyboard reset. I have to get my... What do you... Where's the goddamn... Oh, here we go. Aloha, Jim. A pleasure to be here once again. You don't know what we're going to talk about.

Imagine the position I'm in. Well, I realize what I've done there. And ladies gentlemen, I apologize already here. Right off the bat at the top of... of the program for bringing your organ back to life. It was just so unexpected not to hear it. I was hoping you were going to have some sad news, but apparently it's, it's just, it's fine.

So I apologize to the people for that. I don't think that needs an apology. That doesn't seem nice. You know, I just sometimes you just don't know what to say about things going on in the world, Brian. I am, I'm going to tell you what, today on the program, there's a few people and or entities, probably several of them. I will talk about a few today.

Their gravy has gone all over my plate. And I'm just, I must just, they must be gone. I'm putting them in a cornfield. I don't know that. Is that a popular expression? Their gravy has gone all over my plate? They don't take a lot of his gravy to go all over my plate is a way of saying, that's an annoying motherfucker.

That is one annoying son of a bitch. But anyway, before, I want to talk to people that I like, before I start talking about people I don't like. I want to thank everybody on behalf of Dennis Condry's wife, Teresa, and just everybody that's loved Dennis, because the GoFundMe that we've been talking about is up almost 50 grand as I'm sitting here now. Hopefully it's over that.

by the time that we finished, but I wanted to thank everybody for that. And on Teresa's behalf, who she's, you know, obviously been trying to deal with various things, but she's got some people trying to help make that easier. So anyway, you know, Brian, my new year's, one of my New Year's wishes.

I don't make resolutions. I make wishes. It's like a notepad I had. one time. I got from a gift shop. It was on the top of it was engraved things I foolishly hoped to accomplish today. One of my New Year's wishes

was to work half as much for twice as much, but I, son of a bitch, I think I got it turned around. I don't know what to say, but we're going to have a fun time here today telling people how stupid

they are. Yeah. And what What were you, or are you going to speak on my show? Sorry. Uh-oh. I'm sorry. Sir. Well, go ahead.

Out with it then, young, young fellow. Yeah, we're going to tell all sorts of fucking people what we think of them today. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. Fuck you. Whoever you are. Here, again, somebody else that I like is Aaron from Hope, Indiana. Aaron wrote to me and you, dear Jim and Brian, my name is not Pismo, but I did

recently have hernia repair surgery. I was off work for two weeks of recovery and rest and took advantage of that time to catch up on the Jim Cornette omnibus cannon. I didn't know we, do we shoot it out of a cannon now? I thought it was just available for download. You know, it's one, it's the canon with one end. So I'm not illiterate.

Thank you both for the entertainment wrestling knowledge laughs. The tickling of the organ ivory and the updates on the current happenings in the greater Louisville area, your friend, Aaron, from Hope Indiana, because Brian, Hope Indiana is an old OBW town. We did a, was it a five or a $6,000 spot show in Hope Indiana one town? Can you Google Hope Indiana? Hope Indiana is not a small location. I've just said the name of the town and the state more times than there are people in Hope Indiana. it's not a big town I'm sure that now these tickets

Brian that I'm talking about were $8 and $6 the population as of 2020 2,09 people well in 19 no in 2000 or 2001 750 or so of them were at the wrestling matches in Hope Indiana

see you you You got to be mainstream, Brian. You got to appeal to people of all ages. Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages, that's who your audience is. How did you guys get hooked up with doing a show and hope? Probably something to do with Rip Rogers knows every fucking, everybody that's ever sponsored a fucking wrestling show and hope in the state of Indiana.

but it was like the fire department or the local school group that wanted to raise money for uniforms or whatever. It was a spot show. And we've talked about this before. It's been a while. So we'll just do it again. More babies have been born. The territory days, especially the southern territories, had massive success with spot shows. They weren't regular house shows like Louisville or Lexington that ran on a regular basis.

They were just, you'd go to Oceola, Arkansas, or Kennett, Missouri, or fucking Adamsville, Tennessee, or wherever. And if the local sponsoring group really got behind it, you could do tremendous business because everybody in these little towns, Smoggy Mountain Wrestling, did. $6,000 in Saltville, Virginia one time at the baseball or the high school football field. There was like a thousand fucking people. Because what else is there to do in Saltville and here's people from TV.

I've mentioned Christine Jarrett in 1981 did a $12,000 house in Huntingberg, Indiana. Look up Huntingberg, Indiana. And then I'll tell you how this breaks down. but there were literally over 2,000 people in their fucking high school gym, which are all big in Indiana because of basketball. And whoever it was, whether it was the JCs or the band boosters or the football team or the police or fire department, they're wanting to raise money.

If they provide the venue, the building, and they do the local promotion, they put up posters and they make announcements at the schools and all the other functions, and they let everybody in town know the fucking thing is happening, then we will plug it on television and bring you a wrestling show and you get 20% of the gate or 25% depending on the fucking arrangement. And you can keep all the food and drinks. So, of course, somebody contributes to the local group, the fucking hot dogs and the hot dog buns.

They get to Coke's from whatever. And we sell the pictures of the Rasslers. and the territory you could make literally thousands of dollars in these towns because there was no almost no out-of-pocket expense besides the goddamn the guy's minimum guarantee and you know a couple hundred bucks for the ring crew so huntingburg indiana huntingburgh indiana what year did you say the show was uh 1981 okay so that from the 1980 census the population was 5,376 okay we had two thousand of them and they spent over a thousand dollars at the souvenir stand the merchandise table when the little color three and a half a five color pictures were a dollar apiece so what's the thought coming out of that is it always this spot show did great you know we'll see you next time if there is a next time does anyone think we should run here again or is it this is a one time thing because of the population and how much they spent on this night. All of those things

at various points. No, some people, then sometimes it's oh shit, we got to go there more often and the next time it's like instead of the first time ever, it's the first time since June and sometimes they realize, no, this is, you know, this is great. We'll do that maybe once a year, we'll look to, you know, that type of thing and be conservative because they're looking for the long haul. And everything in between. But again, it was the only time that these people ever got a chance to see in person, someone that they saw on television. And it was a baby, when the fabulous ones went to Boonville,

Mississippi, I think, I said this other week, I think it was like the stars of Miami Vice coming to Boonville, Mississippi. I thought, what was the name that they've got? And look up Boonville, Mississippi now, and there's no E on Boone. Okay, hold on a second. No, is there a Northeast Community College in Boonville, Mississippi? You said there's no E? I don't think there's an E. Because there's a Boonville with an E.

Well, then maybe there is. Boonville, Mississippi, in 1980, the population was 6,199 people. Yeah, but is there a North community college? Boonville community, whatever the point is. I remember doing a fucking $14,000 or $15,000 spot show off the Memphis TV in Boonville, fucking Mississippi when I first, in 1982, actually, when I first got into business. And at those pride, those were the, I think they were doing $6 ring side then. So $6 and $5.

And it was like $14,000. Jim, the school may have been Northeast Mississippi. Community College. There you go. And there'd be 2,500 fucking people in the goddamn place. It was, that was, you know, what you did on your off nights when you had, if you had three or four weekly towns, the other two or three nights the week, you did your spot shows. Have you ever seen a spot show town become a regular town?

Well, again, it depends because in what era? When Jared first split off from Goulos and had not taken the entire territory, Jonesboro, Arkansas was a regular Saturday night town because they needed one. But then when he did take the whole territory and they were running Nashville on Saturday, Jonesboro ended up like once a month. And it can also go in reverse sometimes that in the territory days they might have started running running monthly and then decided to run every two weeks or whatever, you know, so it could go both ways within reasonable parameters.

But it only, I mean, you know, if you were going to run any of these towns on a regular basis, it was because you had no other towns to run on a regular basis. It was nice to dip in and you could, because it all depended on the local promotion and the novelty and the stars coming to town. You've seen them from the Mid-South Coliseum, and now here they are in the American Legion Arena and fucking Dickman, Tennessee or whatever. So if you look at something like 1982, for instance,

because you started as a photographer, ended as a manager, the average amount of spot shows or the amount of spot shows that were in that year from Memphis, what percentage of those shows would actually get the fabulous ones or Jerry Lawler? well, Lawler was even different than the fabs. When the fabs were hot, they were still working a full schedule. Lawler at various points was either working out in different territories

when he was going to Florida or when he was going to work with Vern or whatever the case, or he just didn't want a goddamn, I was like my angle where I managed Adrian Street against Bill Dundee, we were the main event in. Nashville like six Saturday nights in a row because Lawler'd rather go to Jonesboro or the spot show at 90 miles from Memphis and be home by midnight. He didn't want to go all the way back to fucking Nashville and blah, blah, blah. So Lawler picked and chose. But for the most part, except when they were running two nights or two shows a night,

which happened when they got overpopulated in 83, you pretty much got the whole card unless it was, again, on Friday nights, they'd split it up. But it would be somewhere in the neighborhood of Memphis, so because everybody had to do Memphis TV the next morning. So, you know, but that would be using part-time guys on the Memphis end to fill out the first couple of matches. They didn't keep more than 18 guys, a couple of managers when Jared was booking because he was more fiscally conscious than the king was, who had 40 guys and six fucking managers of referees. What was the question? We were just talking about spot shows. Well, good.

You know what I've worn on a lot of spot shows in my life clothes, Brian? I've worn clothing. and there used to be many complaints about my clothing not the lack of it but the quality of it and the fucking sight of it but now you can be you can you can you can get in my pants Brian anybody out there can get in my pants they can they can walk a mile of my shoes they can see the world through my eyes what more similes can I form ladies gentlemen than to tell you that this Saturday April 4th at noon

Eastern, the big sale commences where I've cleaned up my closet and I have gathered up all my whacking rackets and everything that I've got left, that is. Some of these things have gone by the wayside. I remember this pair of pants one time with skid marks, but nevertheless, that's when you can go to Jimcornhead.com, Saturday, April 4th, it is, at noon Eastern, and you can start buying all of my ring-worn and ring-used apparel and furnishings that have been on the website for everybody to look at for the past week or so, or two, whatever. And all the information is there if you'd like to go early, and then the sale begins going to scope out what you want.

I'm giving the people an opportunity to take a leisurely stroll through what they might want. So when the sale begins, boom, they can go straight to it. without further ado, I'm a charitable kind of guy, Brian. I like to give people a chance, a fair chance at everything. What percentage of the people that collect ring-worn stuff do you think? Try the stuff on. You know, I had one guy fucking actually email and say, well, you don't have the sizes listed.

I'm like, motherfucker, if you buying Elton John's goddamn stage jacket, are you wanting to wear it to a cocktail party? What is happening here? I have been a number of sizes. I think you're aware of this, Brian. I've been a number of sizes throughout my life. So some of this stuff is on a bigger side, and some of this stuff's on a smaller side,

but it's all within, I've been the same height. I haven't changed that. I'm six feet even. And the weight range for these pieces of clothes. clothing and apparel before I've trimmed down over the last five years or however long it's been, I would say it would have been between 220 and 250 or so, maybe 60. But otherwise, I'm leaving it up to you as whether, you know, whether you can fit in it or not. And I don't have T-Rex arms, so it's a normal goddamn shirt.

I don't know what to say about these things. And when you see some fans dressed in Jim's WrestleMania 10 Tuxedo, make sure you just take a picture and send it into us. No, it'll be a fake because that one's still on the wall. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to false advertise here.

You're not getting a shot at that. Over my dead body, which actually I've already tagged a few things for, you know, when the day comes so that Stace knows where to go to, get rid of this shit. anyhow so that's this but speaking of

speaking it I don't know what to speak about this somebody else got knocked a fuck out should I have should I have cursed that early or do we really give a shit at this point Brian how early I'm saying fuckety fuckety fuck right now well there's always editing it's preferable that you don't do that

but there's always a beeps and blips and all sorts of sounds and blips and what what is this tune playing fuck big shit fuck fuck big shit fuck big shit fuck it sounds like an irish tune well good then we can all do a jig um so back to the jig that apparently that mike santana did on top of cori macklin's head or what's his name it's not that steve macklin steve macklin i'm sorry well rest in peace Corey. No, that, well,

that's not a joke because Corey passed away, but at least Steve is still around from what we understand. But some way or another, it was the main event of the T&A pay-per-view. And Santana's the T&A champion, and he's wrestling Corey McClick.

Damn it now. He's wrestling Mr. Macklin in a big grudge match, and they go like two minutes and he super kicked Macklin in the head and just knocked him out. And they had to call it off. And before we go into the mechanics of it and or what, you know, we might have done or might not have done in all of these situations,

I started trying to think with taking it. I'm just thinking the paper views of places I've been, there's WCWWF, obviously take out Mick Foley and Mankind and The Undertaker, Hell in a Cell, because nobody should ever try to do any of that shit ever again. And there was obviously the famous incident where Owen dropped Austin for real with the pile driver

and he got the stinger in the neck injury. And that was doing a, kind of a dangerous move but not just i'm trying to remember when i saw the last person i saw just get knocked to fuck out by just a a blow or a strike or a thing of this nature and and then it's happening constantly and this thing i looked at the the tape of it and it didn't look fake it didn't look phony, you know, it was not like some of them. But by the same token, the only reason that you would have looked twice at it or just continued watching the match flow is because the guy went down and didn't get up.

It didn't look any, he just potatoed him. He just kicked him right to fucking head, I guess. But that's the thing, as I've said before, sometimes these, you know, these things don't look that all inspiring unless they've, come off the top through some furniture and then they're carried off. But sometimes you can just knock somebody the fuck out. But I've never seen it happen this often. Have you?

I mean, not saying knocked out, I guess that encapsulates a lot of things. We've seen a lot of weird injuries, a lot of, I mean, in AEW, I think we've seen a few different occasions where someone was not cold in the middle of the ring. the one that sticks out. OVW here, the referee in OVW. A couple weeks ago. Yeah, I mean, we've seen we've seen matches just end

you know, by referee's decision, which in some ways is what would happen in the legitimate world, but still it's a new thing for wrestling and, you know. And that's the thing is they and the way they handled this thing,

again, they they aired on the other side of way too much. And before somebody says cordets in favor of brain damage, no, if they just think about things logically. It went on still too

long before the guy got legitimate attention because he super kicks Macklin. Maclin goes down, right? And they're going to continue the match, but the referee

stepped in and was still trying to send the word while giving him a second and given the X thing in front of him like she's still blocking Santana off and you see what she was doing. She was like both holding him and kind of stopping him

and also putting up the X at the same moment. And giving the, yeah, so, but at that point, there's different kinds of things. Like if you go down in the middle of the ring and it's your knee or your ankle or you just realize, realize, you know, I ain't getting up.

You could just lay there and say, cover me, count it. And in three seconds, it's over and everybody can attend to you. And you haven't, you know, it may not have been what you plan to do, but you ain't going to get up anyway. So why not? Remember Mercedes Moon did that in Japan for another girl here a couple years ago when she fucked herself up? So you can do that.

or if you have the breath knocked out of you like power slave whom you've fallen as a kid knocked the breath out of you i'll be okay to say about needing to fucking breathe then there's always been a way to grab a hold or whatever if everybody's just thinking of what they're doing but if a guy's knocked out he was leaning on the bottom rope anyway as a referee is given the ex and holding him back

or holding Santana back and a blah, blah, blah, just roll out on the apron. If he just rolled over, he'd have been on the apron on the other side of the rope, she can turn around and back Santana up and say he's fucked up. She can go back and check him and start counting. And at the same time, that's where you determine is this,

because he was not unconscious limp. He was apparently disoriented, So there's where you have to make the determination. Are you getting up or do we need to stop this? And also, if the doctor is at ringside, he could come over and check him at the same time. She can even back Santana up saying keep the camera off of it. But within the next 10 seconds,

you have not stopped the match, but you have given everybody, nobody's touching the guy. you're giving the doctor the opportunity to come up, you're keeping the other guy back, and you're still counting a guy out because he's on the apron outside the ropes. Within 10 to 15 seconds,

everybody's where they're supposed to be, and then if the guy says, who shit, I'm fine, let's go. He beat the count. And if he's still thinking, are you bugs bunny? Then stop it. And he's counted out.

out. Santana was the champion. The belt was not in jeopardy. Nothing would have been harmed if the guy was supposed to win. Well, I guess the fucking champion shouldn't have kicked him in the fucking face and knocked him out. But, I mean, does that sound unreasonable rather than what they did, Brian, which was, once she backed Santana up, Santana goes the other side, he's mad, obviously, but they're all conferring for ages while apparently the match is still going on we don't know and by the time that everybody had got to him it was more time elapsed than that to begin with and then it just it's obvious it ends in a popcorn fart it's awkward where they said edwards out and i didn't see all the

rest of that shit but whatever the fuck if in the ufc if the guy gets fucking punched and knock down does the referee check him, yes, but does the referee tell the opponent, wait a minute, you hit him too hard? Give him a minute. So in the UFC, they can't roll out of the octagon and take count on the apron while you assess situation. Does all of this chain of events that I'm saying sound more reasonable than just stopping everything and still not helping the guy any quicker? I don't know if he was, again, I haven't been severely concussed like that.

in a wrestling match, I don't know if he was clear-minded enough to get himself on the apron or stay on the apron or, you know, that... Lay down. He's leaning on the bottom rope, lay down. But he kept trying to get up. It wasn't like he stayed down.

That's what I'm saying. He was in a state, it seemed like, where... He wasn't just going to stay down. He was trying to get up because he was still conscious. He just didn't know whether he was on Neptune or not. He was thinking he was supposed to get up and do more shit, which he was, but he wasn't a condition to. So that's when the referee is telling us, stay down, push you out, boom.

Lay there. Here, a doctor backing this guy up, starting to count. Everybody mobilize here. I'm just saying to just keep everything in the right place. You get the guy help quicker. If they can determine, if he can't tell him what time it is and what his mother's maiden name is and the next referee's 10 count

and let the doctor stop it. Nobody's touching him. But don't just goddamn everybody. She's, oh, shit, we actually fucking hit somebody. See, that's why I'm okay. I almost wish they had right away once they realized something was wrong. Called the match right away.

Referee stoppage. He can't continue. Well, you can do that. Because then whenever he's better, you could bring it back and you have a natural storyline now. You know, it was a freak thing. They got me in the first minute of the match.

I'm not going to let that happen again, whatever it is. That's what I'm saying. But on the benefit of the doubt, there are times when a guy will get rocked and boom, okay, and he really is good. And, you know, that's the old days of grab a hold, right? And then there would be a period of rest where, you know, and I'm not talking about like some goddamn submission to hold.

Let's get a wrist lock here. And you, okay, Fred? Are you bugs, bunny? You're not okay. We're going to go home and we roll up, boom, out. Or the guy says, yeah, Jesus Christ, I'm going to get you back, you motherfucker, and they keep going. But now with the increased awareness of concussions, no, again, you don't want to fucking get up in a small package or whatever the fuck,

but at the same time, there's a way you can not touch the fucking guy and not everybody just goddamn go to, stop. Well, it's a fight. Then I won. Why are we just calling a halt to this? Count out,

disqualification, ref stop, whatever, but don't just everybody stop and dick around for two minutes and leave everybody hanging. That's what I don't fucking understand. Do you think, it helps or hurts the referee in that situation to have people talking to them in their ear

while it's happening. And they're obviously trying to figure it out too in real time. Well, I mean, if it was Tommy Young would be different, but with the average experience of the referees, it's wonderful that someone can talk to them. And that's another thing, the I want to say the Booker, but

maybe who is the commissioner, who is the general manager, who's running this place? Santino Morella. Oh, Jesus Christ. And that Carlos Silva guy. The fucking clown with the hat because he looks like Paul Schaefer if Paul Schaefer was air dried. Yeah, without charisma. I was going to say that some authority figure would come at if it was if it was me and one of my

stents as director of authority, I would come down to the ring with a few of the referees also because now we've got a fucking pay-per-view with flat ending. So at the same point as we're assessing this, you can communicate. some shit to people and then maybe that's when they did send Eddie Edwards out to have a big fight but you can communicate that shit to without everybody just stopping and then suddenly some shit going on and it's that I don't know again why that they're that they think that they should just stop the match cold in a fight for a guy getting knocked out then it's it either needs to be over or it's not and if it would be inconvenient to the booking or make a three minute

pay-per-view that's where you creatively give the guy and the referee and the fucking doctor now that they've got one ringside 10 or 15 seconds to determine what you're whether he ought to be getting back up or not, and you still haven't broken the goddamn match. And then call it or don't if he can go on. Usually, most of these guys have been knocked out to the fuck where they can't go on. But it's just, I don't know what to fucking do it.

You know, have a question for you, but I think I'm answering it in my head, as I say it, taking the OVW incident out of the equation, they're going to have to change the way they train referees to deal with more and more situations where, whether it's a concussion issue or a broken ankle, I mean, we've seen a lot of things over the last five years that we really never saw before.

Do they have to change the way the referees are trained to deal with it? And I remember when Shane tried the leapfrog on the big show? Was it WrestleMania a few years back? And fucking just went down and fucking stayed there. it wasn't an actual match and fortunately Snoop Dog was there and able to save the day

but sometimes shit happens but they went on with it that's why I'm saying with Owen and Austin Austin lands on his head and he can't fucking move his legs or fucking feel much and Owen knew

that my God, I cannot just leave the people seeing the new biggest star on the Ascension and the company laying at my feet they'll fucking fire me and obviously Austin still needed

to win that match down deep in his heart so Owen did the thing where he stood up and he fucking did ride the people and he argued with the referee and he backed up over Steve's one good arm and schoolboyed himself one, two, three. It wasn't very convincing,

but at least it was, oh my God, Austin the winner. And then he got carried out. But, oh, God, I'm just, but nevertheless, you don't need to stop the thing for two fucking minutes

and just everybody just sit there with their dicks in their hands. It's a fucking fight. If the guy needs, help, then somebody do something without fucking hurting him to goddamn end the match. And still not, it's like they're stopping a Broadway play. And it doesn't do anybody any good. Because then everybody, I didn't see a doctor, I guess the doctor's at ringside, right?

I didn't see him jump right over there to look at him. it took a few seconds. So if the doctor's at ringside, he may have not got the fucking idea yet. So poke him somebody, go do this, just quickly. Just don't everybody just stand around quickly, make a decision. I've beat that to death, haven't I?

You have, but it's an important point that maybe people are going to have to pay more and more attention to as the years go by because we're seeing more and more in-ring injuries happen on TV than ever before.

How do you kick somebody that hard and not know that you just knocked them the fuck out? Chris Adams never did that. I don't know.

But think, even Michael's, as much of a dick as he probably could have been at various points, he didn't fucking rearrange anybody's teeth

or anything with that. Nevertheless. All right. Let's move on to more people doing ill-advised things. Did you hear about the first day advance for the big Wembley stadium show for AEW this coming, what is it, August 30th? The tickets went on sale apparently to all the sickos out there. And not bad, not bad, not bad, not bad.

8,883 tickets on the very first day of sale, Brian. On its face, that's incredibly impressive. That's amazing until it was pointed out that the last time they were there in 2024, they did 33,700 tickets on the first day. And remember it was some, God, maybe you can Google this because, I don't have it on the notes, but when they did the original Wimbley and set the all-time

mega-Megger Godzilla attendance record for whatever the fuck all the records they set, the first day was like 60,000 or whatever. Maybe is that information publicly available? I am looking right now, because I remember CM Punk was on that first show because that's when he had the Jack Perry incident right before his match with Samoa Joe,

which opened up the show. But I just don't know if that was 23 or 24. No, I was 23. It must have been 23. Yield. Yield. So you're asking for how many tickets they sold in 23? What was the first day tickets sold

when they announced that big wing ding, which I think they announced it a year ahead of that, didn't they? During the pre-sale on May 2nd of 2013, AEW sold over 36. thousand tickets, garnering 4.7 million in revenue, which immediately set AEW records for attendance and a live gate, they reached over 43,000, and 5.7 million respectfully the next day, and then after sales opened it a general public three days later on May 5th, ticket sales hit 60,000 Oh, there you go.

With 7.7 million in revenue. Wow. Okay. And again, you know, massive numbers, but the trend may be headed in the wrong direction because after the first official general public on sale, which is what these numbers are we're talking about, first time they were at 60,000,

the second time they were at 33,000, and the third time, they're 20,000. and now he's just doing it just because he can do it. It's not even about, my God, can we make any kind of money on this? It's, well, it's so cool for our fans. Yeah, it'd be cool for your fans if you got them all an individual blowjob. But it would be expensive. That's why it's never been offered before.

It's too goddamn expensive. Yes, we checked into it. Well, it's not too expensive for Tony. We were brainstorming one day. But anyway, that's what we said when we were talking about the original one, which was, it's the same, it was the same concept, but on an even more massive scale with massive expenditure than the original All-In, which was, it was a worldwide crowdfunding movement of,

of the fans, it was the pit of their frenzy. Brian, it sounds like a poe line. It was the pit of their frenzy. The AEW fans with Vince was still around and that shit was just starting to hit. And they still thought that Tony was going to be the savior and all this indie rific bullshit. Somebody tell us when that bullshit would be over with. All this stuff was going to just take over the world and they crowdfunded that thing into a Wembley Stadium event.

It was like the Beatles were going to get back together and Ringo was going to show us his dingling. But now the, and we said at the time, the novelty, if they try to do this every time, it gets the Fonneric Memorial shows all over again. They don't have a match. I mean, that's the other thing. The first one, again, CM Punk was there.

underrate what a big starry was for AEW. But there was a demand from fans in England to see wrestling at Wembley Stadium. It just so happened. It was AEW who did it. AAU had not been over there, I don't think, yet. So you had the most die-hard AEW fans, couldn't wait to see them. You had a perfect mixture of all these things. You know, a bunch of drama that came out of the event. And then the next year, it wasn't as impressive, although again, we're talking about a big stadium, crowd. The problem is you have to compare it to the one before it. And then they didn't come back.

They did other things. And now they're back, but what's the match? You know, they have a stadium that needs a match, not a match that needs a stadium. I remember a smart guy said that one time. I heard it from someone. You know, you have the same crew that's been there. I mean, there's nothing.

They've gone to, you know what they've done, Brian? They've gone to Boonville, Mississippi. three times in the same year. Because I'm, and I'm not poo-pooing. The idea that they've sold 20,000 tickets, but by history, they're not going to double that with actual final sales.

They're not possibly not going to come close to doubling that. By actual history of increase from the big, the big moment of explosion to the actual show, So at what point have they paid five times as much in expenses to run the stadium to fit four or five thousand people in that wouldn't have fit in the O2 arena? You see where I'm going with this. Yeah. And I'm not saying they won't be able to make it look impressive.

I remember I thought the second year looked better than the first one, where they had the bigger crowd. They shot it better. So I'm sure to look great. I don't know if it's good. I don't know if it'll. I mean, they'll only shoot what they have to shoot,

but still, it's, again, it's the Von Erick Memorial. Yeah. Stadium principle. The first two looked fabulous, even in Texas Stadium. Because there was 40,000 or whatever.

And then ours was, it wasn't our fault. We weren't responsible. But no, but the 85, was 20-something thousand. Then then 86, 87, it was, fuck, ooh-hoo.

You run out of ways. I'm just saying it's another example of a vanity project just because Tony is able to do this willy-nilly and thinks it's a cool moment. And nothing looks worse than an empty stadium. Like even if you saw stuff in the sportatorium that wasn't full,

and then I went to Texas Stadium, it looks really bad when you just see seats everywhere and there's no one there. And even a few thousand people looked like no one. Maybe Tony will get 30,000 people. Will you consider that as success?

That means that one third of the building was filled. Well, look at it the other way. Do you think there's anything Tony could do to sell more tickets? At this point? Probably not. With who he has right now.

I did oh don't I'll get started on that in a minute but I'm just again it's just because he can it's it's not about I can't imagine what the Wembley stadium rent and expenses and etc are that you know with 30,000 people can you make money with all of the other the payroll of his massively bloated roster, etc. It's just, and, but we won't,

but again, we won't see the books. We'll just have to watch the, what plays out in front of our eyes. And according to, yeah, I'm trying to see anything about this, so I don't know how accurate it is,

but according to a few reports on the internet I'm seeing here, rent for Wembley, allegedly, is in the range of $400,000. Oh, but that's that's basic. That's the base. Yeah, that doesn't cover additional staffing and everything else, security, etc. So what's the gate going to be?

What was the gate for the last time for 2024? Did you have that there? Are you rattling off some kind of numbers? I'm pulling it up right now. Hold on. But the point is you could probably take $650,000 off the gate just to have it in that building. Jim, in 2024, they ran Wembley. 53,385 paid attendance, $6 million gate.

Oh, golly, so they'll only have $5 million to work with. Is that $6 million or $6 million pounds? That's a good question. I don't know. The exchange rate could have fluctuated. Nevertheless, it's just, I'll get to them. I'll get to them. I just think, Tony's getting too big for his britches, Brian, that's what the problem is.

You know what I mean? Are you aware of what I am meaning? I may be. Do you see what I am saying, sir? I think I could possibly see the road you're going down. And, of course, maybe it's the road that Tony Conn and maybe. any of the listeners need to go down as well. Well, that's right, because if you're sick and tired of going down to Hershey Highway

when it comes to your drawers, your pants, your jeans, just like Tony getting too big for his britches, he needs the perfect gene is what he needs. Because that way, he wouldn't have that odd look on his face all the time like he does, Brian, because his balls wouldn't be being squeezed like in a carpenter's vice. and at the same time he wouldn't be looking like he's so constipated because he's got that awful hard canvas double-sown seam up the crack of his ass it's tantalizing his tape and making him want to poop his panties well that's one of the tough things is finding pants that make you feel stylish but also don't crush your balls and you

can bend over and do stuff in it yeah so you can bend over and tony bends over a lot for everybody on the roster and he needs to have some movement. He needs to have some. He's constantly picking things up they've dropped and handed out. And he needs some freedom of movement in there where when you bend over the jeans, don't just cut you in half like you're decapitated like the black dahlia in 1946 where you just cut in a half at your waistline. You don't want that out of the pants you're wearing.

You have enough chances of being attacked by some race. random stranger on the street and mutilated by some sharp object before people can come up and pull the madman off of you. So don't wear those kind of pants. No. Wear the perfect gene. Yes. Yes, where you've got movement and fluctuation in your pants. They're comfortable. They'll feel like a revelation or a revolution. I can't see the copy. But the point is, instead of these blue jeans and just just squeeze you and hurt you and just cut you in half. The perfect gene fits lovely, keeps you comfortable all day and all night

if you're some kind of partier going out along the clubs and the hip kids. Well, then you don't have to worry about it when you get a hard on. It's going to be squashing. You know where you're picking at your crotch all the time where you're talking to this hot girl. See, that's something to be considered. Yes.

So right now, the perfect gene is the perfect gene for you. And over half a million people have made the switch, ladies gentlemen, thousands of people who wore these Levi's and these name brand high fucking irritability ratio. You know, because the regular blue jeans, they just, they give you crotch rot, Brian, is what they do because they don't breathe. They collect moisture in the sea. in the inseams in the crotchal area, and then you're wet down there all the time,

and then the fungus starts growing. And then you try to put the spray on, and that doesn't work. And then you've got to go to the doctor and have to lift your goddamn leg up in the air and show him your whole crack from your asshole to the goddamn bottom of your balls. So you can say, what's wrong with me? It looks like it's rotten.

And he'll say, well, hold on, and he'll give you this goddamn shit. And he'll tell you, quit wearing these fucking tight pants. I've heard that story told many times. Go to the perfect gene. That's the T-H-E-P-E-P-E-P-E-E-E-E-A-N dot N-Y-C. Ooh, that's a new one. Or Google the perfect gene,

and either way if you use the code J-C-E-15, you're going to get 15, percent off and you can read all about on their website how these pants came about and what they're good for and war, hmm, good God, and why they've been made to help people refrain from having their crotches rotted. And I'll tell you, when the thing starts bubbling like some kind of swamp from New Orleans, where your crotch, it starts bubbling and the puzzles go up, you don't want just throw those pants in the incinerator folks that you have now. and go to the perfect gene.

Dot NYC or Google the perfect gene and use the code JCE for 15% off. However, Google, that sounds like the process that these normal genes do to your balls. Once again, problems. So for once you can Google somebody else's balls, Google the perfect gene,

and then the balls will be Googled for you. C.E.15 for 15% off. That's right, Jim. Theperfect gene. com.n.com. I know a lot of the listeners have to wear cackies for work. If you need cackies and aren't going to crush your balls, check these out. The perfect gene.

Well, and they've got all these various cackies and denims and polos and all these things. They're all soft. They're just fluffy. They're not starch. They're not stiff. They won't cut you or irritate you or cause various parts of. your body to fucking obtain leprosy. And I understand also it makes guy's asses look better because one guy on the

poll said his girlfriend can't keep her hands off my butt. So just go around now looking at everybody's butts. Everybody's ass when you're walking down the street, you'll be able to tell who's wearing the perfect gene because if you like the way a guy's ass looks, chances are he's wearing the perfect gene. So just look at all. guy's asses. This is not a selling point. Just imagine

your own ass and imagine your body. Imagine a good looking pair of pants that will look good, feel good and isn't at what counts with a great price? That's what counts. That's all that counts except that is kind of, you know, self-love type of thing. Imagine your own ass.

I'd rather think about somebody else's, but you can be dancing with yourself or dancing with the public, whatever it is. You need pants. Once again, the perfect gene. slash J-C-E-15 is what I meant to say. You got to have the pants. That's the thing.

Without the pants, it all crumbles. You know, that's what they got me on. The coat is to my knees. Do I need the pants? That's, you know, I was... The perfect gene. Well, I'm not just blowing hot air when I talk about how the genes are.

But I wish somebody else's jeans was perfect, Brian, because there's something wrong with these people's genes over on dynamite. For March the 25th, mark that day down for me to talk about here in a few moments. It may be historic. They were in St. Paul, Minnesota, one of the twin cities. The other twin was probably ashamed of what her sister was doing. at the time. And,

okay, the opening match was for the, the winner was going to, if swerve beat Kenny, then swerve would be an EVP, right? And if Kenny beat swerve,

he apparently would be the number one contender to the AEW title. Them, them was the conditions that prevail. Correct. And for one, Once this was historic, Kenny got even, because Swerve, when he turned heel like fucking,

what a month ago or six weeks ago, whatever the fuck it was, he beat the shit out of Kenny and they carried Kenny out, right? And that's when Swerve said, I'm a heel now. So Kenny actually came back and he got even. He beat the guy right in the middle of the ring with no ifs, sands are asses about it.

And so that's over. I don't mean to give anything away here in this, in this match, but, so at least he got even, but now they beat swerve for this fucking again, and we'll go into it later on when he confronts our champion, but this

fucking milksop, this hunchbacked, stringy-haired, droop-eyed, shell of a person who has a breathless sexy delivery of his dramatic readings

and this is the guy that we're supposed to think is a fucking main event superstar in this goddamn company. So this wet dishrag was facing the rising rap star and most dangerous man in SWIRV-Strickland, it looks like he probably would kick the literal bejesus out of fucking Kitty Omega for these terms that what has Kenny been doing as an EVP Brian that increases

his power or pull? How has he been throwing his weight around? How has he been... He developed a video game. Oh, I forgot about that. Like everybody else. But how has he been throwing his massive? power around the company is showing it off, getting favors for himself or other people

or any kind of preferential treatment or all his power at swerve wants. How has that ever been established that Kenny ever had any of that? And the only time he's ever said anything about it was when he said, I don't want to be an AVP. I don't want to tell people what to do. I don't like responsibility or whatever the fuck. Was that not true? Did I have a brain dumber?

No, that was, that's pretty much it. I mean, the only thing you could say that shows that he's an EVP is the fact that he got Kota Abushi, a 30-year contract or whatever the hell's going on over there. Michael Nakazawa got a big contract and... But that's not been... That's not been actually talked about on television. It's factual, but it's not a part of the story. Until the bucks did their really awful heel shit where they were taking advantage of their

EVP status, it was never really defined on TV why any of these people were called EVPs. It never. And nothing was ever really done with the EVP power until they turned heel, in which they showed that the EVPs actually seemingly had more power than Tony Khan, because they remained on the show after they beat him up. Yes, they beat him up and put him in a neck brace where he had to go to the NFL fucking wing ding. and they were never demoted or punished in any discernible way.

So point being, Tony just wanted a reason for fucking Kenny to have a match with swerve so that he can put Kenny over so that Kenny can fight MJF next. And this was the same as every other goddamn match at AEW, except slower because of Kenny apparently, because we know Swerve likes to just go 100 miles an hour, but the first minute they were on the floor. And Aubrey Ed counted to a million

while they were on the floor doing fuck all for over two minutes. And then they got in the ring and grabbed a hole. And at points, Swerve looked like he was trying not to hurt Kenny, but it's hard to tell with a kitty again now that I see him again, the ridiculous movements and the facials and the body language, but it was, it was kind of, he's just, he just looks droopy to me. And then they did the spot where it took them almost a minute for them to climb up and foil each other and get down and climb up and then careful.

gingerly balance on the top turn buckle and take a bump off that. And then they go to the break, they come back from the break, they're trading forearms. And then Kitty makes the weird faces again, and they struggle on the apron forever. It's the same shit that he does every time. And then they went out and tried to balance on the barricade, and they fell into the people in the front row.

And then they got back up to try to do it again. And Swerve gave him a pile driver on the barricade. Again, I imagine any other promoter in the history of wrestling going, you fucking idiots, you fell off on the people and you got back up there. You could have a second tried breaking their leg. And they both could have been counted out five times over, ten times over. and this was 15 minutes in and it seemed like 30. And there was finger pointing and nothing happening.

And then Kenny just got the one-winged fairy boom, hit his finish, one, two, three, and beat swerve. Who one would think has at least a little bit more future in the company. And they don't even do, Kenny doesn't have to work to get the revenge. It's not a pay-per-view. It's not a goddamn program. He just comes back on TV and beats him, okay,

now I'll get the title shot. There was no out for Swerve. Is this the end of Little RICO? I thought it was surprising that the way they've been building up Swerve with the Hill promos and Nana doing Hill promos, it's surprising for him lose, but I've been saying

this for months, the direction was MJF and Omega, and they finally got there, and I think maybe I think too much MJF, because a lot of the listeners get mad when we say positive things, but I think MJF will be able to pull the best match out of Omega. Not that you have to pull it out of him, but you said

he was a little slower here. You need pliers. You need pliers. You said he was a little slower here. It's all caught up to him. You know, it's all caught up to him. The style, what he was doing, it all caught up to him. And, you know, you see it more and more every time he wrestles. But again, they were building up swerve. So it's crazy. That swerve took Kenny Omega out of commission. He was off TV for weeks. They have to get him the shit kicked out of him.

And then he comes back, does a couple promos beat swerve, and now he gets a title shot. Well, good. That's over. I'm not saying you couldn't have put Kenny over in some fashion and then you would have saved a little grace for swerved where he could come back and, you know, have some bitch and or get involved again or whatever the case, but I'll beat you my finish.

Okay. Eh. Anyhow. Oh. Dick the Boozer and Danny Garcia and Marina Schaefer had a mixed six-man-woman person tag team contest with Dante and Darius Martin. Remember them, Brian? Top flight.

Has it been two years since we've seen them take flight, old top flight? Every few months or so, they show up and I remember Layla Gray was with them, and she got hurt. Well, this was Zeta Steele. She, whatever. Chris Daniels, poor Chris Daniels is in the position of having to stand there in a corner. The one Martin brother just said, fuck it, I'm not the star of this team. I'm going to eat Cleveland. Did you see him?

No, he's like the brother can jump and get all the fucking attention and I'm just over here. So fucking I'm a fat fuck now. Well, you know, on that topic, and I'm not calling anyone a fat fuck here in this match. but Dante Martin who from the beginning although he sort of resembles

Art Garfunkel with that hair he was kind of of the breakout star of the team and when his brother got hurt we got to see him

and singles action and tag with other people and then he got hurt it's been a lot of injuries with the family but it looks like he put on some weight too and I don't mean

in a bad way I mean he was really skinny when we first started seeing him he doesn't look as skinny now I think maybe

they may be brothers but one's genetics seem like they're a little different. Maybe check the milkman, do the DNA ancestry test. Anyhow, this was not as you would imagine a squash match for

Dick the Boozer's new heel group that used to be a baby face group that after they were a heel group. But this was a jump start and a six way and a fight on the floor. And then the biggest indie rific mess you can imagine from the people involved in this. And the reason why the Martins were back, because it's their hometown.

So we don't see these guys on a main show for fucking months and months and months. Oh, but shit, we're in fucking Martin's hometown. Let's bring them and beat them on TV. What the fuck? Maybe they were just saving the trance. I don't know what the fuck. But they didn't put Brit Baker on TV when they were in Pittsburgh. Well, some of these things, you've got to keep under lock and key.

So the heels won and stood around for a while till Moxley got his breath, and then he cut a promo like he was halfway across Lake Havasoma and said that he's going to wrestle Ospre at the pay-per-view. And again, they're snarling and they're mean. They were heels pouring bleach down people's throats. And then suddenly because they were having matches against the Don Callis family, and Moxley started doing rah-rah promos, they became baby faces while doing nothing to instigate that. And now the week that Osprey shows up, and fuck everybody again, we're going to fucking kill everybody.

What is happening here? I can't explain it. Can you explain why they thought it would be a good idea to have spitballed? take on Rocky Romero in a match. Well, I mean, they're not far apart in size, so at least it makes sense for that. You know, if spitball was in a smaller division, it wouldn't be as offensive as when he's doing his dancing kick thing to some giant wrestler. I think it should be a Class C felony to show spitball in public where children are present.

He needs to walk around in a goddamn burlap sack. Just cover him the fuck up. He's offensive on sight. Nevertheless, now we were at 9 o'clock. And here comes MJF. And, bro, this is where the gravy started getting poured. I'm not talking about, although MJF has established himself after he had the garbage championship wrestling match

with Page on pay-per-view, he's one of them. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. One of us, one of us. He's a freak. He's not serious. He's had a momentary lapse of reason. But at least he can fucking speak intelligently and project his voice like a goddamn public speaker. And he came out of the, it is the same MJF promo. Because unfortunately, that's all he's got left in this fucking cesspool of inanity. But he was happy and crowing about beating hangnail in the easiest match of his career,

and now Paige can never challenge for the title again, and he's still a champion, and double-dipped his catchphrases, and it wasn't too long, and it got to point across. And then Kenny's music played, and oh, God damn it. I wrote it. This has been brief.

Now it's going to go south and take forever. And that's what happened. The face off. And Kenny gets the microphone. And the first thing he says, well, excuse the way that I'm dressed or that I smell. What's your excuse?

Jackie Vernon's got no goddamn fucking shutters in his coffin somewhere. More like Rodney's spinning in his grave. He thinks he's a fucking comedian with that, again, that voice and that goofy demeanor and that milk-soppy,

douchebaggy, wet dishragged, nerd fucking attitude and promo and voice and delivery. This was a quote. He said, even at the height of my bad guyness,

I never called myself the god of wrestling. at the height of his bad guyness, Brian. Can I just say one thing here? Yes. That was one of the more coherent lines he had in this promo. I texted someone in the company right after this, and I just wrote, is he high?

Because Kenny was a mess here. He couldn't deliver, you had to, like, struggle to understand what the fuck he was trying to say, and it was all over the place, and then it didn't end. And then I thought it was over, and it just kept going. I'm like, why is he still on the mic? And my first thought was Kenny's high.

My first thought, which I wrote down, was I would rather listen to a fifth grade science teacher give a lecture on the biology of fungus than listen to this motherfucker speak. And the whole point was supposed to be, if MJF calls himself the devil, then he's the god of wrestling, so why not have God beat the devil

and again, as you said, in the incoherent breathy babbling, that this took forever and went nowhere except to establish Kenny as a big pussy that can't make anything interesting. He's in no way intimidating verbally or even physically when he's standing there hunched over like he's 70, but the verbal delivery, you're not, you're not cowed, you're not scared, you're not intimidated, you're not fired up,

you're not ready to go, you're like, what the fuck? It's a foot and a half away from a goddamn 70s gimmick Lisp gay promo. It's just, it's over the top with its nothingness. It's like you have to go out of your way to be that obtuse. You have to go out of your way. way to struggle to say anything coherently. He doesn't just say anything in a straight line.

Hold on. I'm looking that up. That's a good fucking word. Wait a minute. Q R-R-S-T-U-P. Where is O? Oh, O comes before P. Wait a minute.

Well, see, there's a lot of P's. I bet you didn't know that. Obverse. Hold on. Obtuce. Lacking quickness of perception or intellect. well there you go

two not sharp pointed or acute in form blunt well there you go word of the day everyone obtuse well the point is he said gosh darn twice in his challenge

and after he'd finally gone through all this and indicated that he wanted to wrestle MJF on the pay-per-view for the title, MJF said, okay, and walked out. And that took about 20 minutes. The whole time that Kenny was rambling

and going really slow, MJF was in the corner casual. Like, he wasn't, he was barely acting like he could follow along himself. And he's just staring at him. How would you react to that? I'm not saying I wouldn't have reacted like that, but I'm saying,

that was the plan? I mean, what did they think was going to happen here? Did they think Kenny could just park the car? Or did they think that Kenny was going to go around the block a few times? He was just in the corner casually watching Kenny, like the fans for a while. There was nothing to react to particularly. But again, you know, then he

did his thing he said well since he's already done his catchphrases I'll do mine and I bid you adieu goodbye

and goodnight bang what the fuck is this who who is sitting at home going this guy's my fucking hero

Jesus Christ what is the audience there It's longtime wrestling fans who found AEW, and they're not as young as they used to be, and they kind of have a cynical view of wrestling, and they like to ironically enjoy silly things, and to them, Kenny Omega, and the matches of moves and kickouts, and at least they protect his finish, I'll give him that, he's like they're not the god of wrestling, that's the wrong expression,

but, you know, there's Zarathustra. No, I don't know what he, what, he, what, exactly he is to them but i ain't going to try to look that up even though there's not as many zes as there was peas but you know here is my decision of this that's what i think of a e w i've after i saw that there was still about counting the overrun an hour or so to go at his program and life is too short for me to sit here and watch these same people do the same fucking things every goddamn week in the same fucking kind of matches with the same fucking kind of people so unless somebody either does something spectacularly fantastic and newsworthy or has projectile diarrhea on their opponent in the middle of the rig on live tv just assume that everything that i've said going

forward about a e w dynamite is the same every week and we'll save us both some time i'm i've their gravy has gone all over my plate. So you're done with dynamite? I haven't, unless you and or the listeners talk me out of it for some goddamn reason, and I'm not sure I'm in the mood for hearing any counter arguments. I can't, I just, I don't know what to think about these fucking people. I'll be honest, my counter argument would be, if something big happens, you know, we'll send it over to you, but the show's been a bad show.

and I know the numbers have gone up but we could talk also about the fact that now I guess they've were they changed the guy again. Now they're saying that there were more television viewers and less streaming viewers which was like the whole point of why

they changed everything to begin with. And wait a minute now we're the they for the people over on the aisle of man they is not AEW. We're not saying AEW is giving us fucking gimmick numbers in this instance. We're saying the other people giving us gimmick number.

Nielsen. Nielsen has changed it again. First, everybody was going along with the same old methods, and then suddenly they got the big data panel on board, and everything went into fucking chaos,

and wrestling was sucking high and tit, as they used to say. And then everybody who got up in arms about that, and then they said, we're going to change this shit back, and then they not only changed it back,

now they changed it again, and now there are more people watching wrestling. And oh, golly, there's more people watching TV than we ever thought of and less people watching this streaming shit. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. I don't,

I'm done with the numbers, too. Their gravy has filled my plate. It's ridiculous. Yeah, I don't. I don't know how you really explain that. Although it's interesting if they've done a Mia Kulpa and said that television isn't dying as rapidly as we've been telling you, that's interesting too. Well, but no, because it's the same people.

If they couldn't, if they were fucked up before, who say they're not fucked up now? They have lost all their credibility with me. They are changing the way they're counting things and then coming up with different numbers. imagine that. Who could have ever thought that if you change the way you do shit, you will come up with a different result.

The fuck! And these people get paid millions of dollars to do this. I'll tell you that, you know what? I could have just called goddamn Nielsen and said, hey, 12,000 people watched OVW last week. Just put that down. I should have known all along. You never thought to have the channel

complained to Nielsen that they have to readjust the entire way that they measure the ratings. See, that was the whole problem. If I'd have just taken that easy and simple solution, that should have been the first thing I thought of. So you quit, so you've quit dynamite. You know, next week's the week, they'll do something crazy, like Darby, you'll jump off the roof of the building or something.

Well, no, they, he did that two weeks ago. I'm talking, I'm talking about really crazy, like having a great match. Or did I mention the projectile diarrhea? you. Well, this I guess is a goodbye in some phone to AEW Dynamite and a nice happy-do. They gave me the sour belches. Jim, any final words to AEW. Dynamite? You've been talking about AEW dynamite for a long time. It's a weird relationship you've had. But if this is indeed the final time, any final words.

Thank you, fuck you, bye. We're still here, ladies and gentlemen. That's to AEW. We're still here. Yeah, well, you asked me if I had any Final Worst at EW. I'll tell you what, you know, it was, it was nip and tuck there as to whether I was going to make it through this interview. It was, it was a photo finish. It was a close shave, Brian, is what it was. It was a close shave.

Come to think of it, I would have liked to have taken the razor to Tony Kahn's neck and personally giving him a nice, clean shave instead of that. Thank you. Nappy, hairy old beard that he's got. now. Good save. With the deluxe Harry's razor, the most advanced razor that I've

ever gotten that has ever been, it seemed, did I get the only pearl-handled razor that they produced? It was this just for me or my God, it's not Pearl Brine? It's just good, solid American stainless steel it looks like.

This is a metal razor handle weighted, perfectly balanced. And on the end it, ladies gentlemen, of the Harry's razor handle is Harry's

razor blades, German-engineered blades, those fucking German son of a bitches over there, if you've seen any of their videos,

you know they're cruel, and they want to hone that fucking razor down to a fine point. They used to actually engage in razor honing as community

fucking festivals back in Germany, in Stuttgart and Monheim. and Harry now owns their own world-class razor blade factory in Germany. Yeah. So there's no outsourcing and no middleman. It's not like when you go into the store, Brian, these days,

and you pay $30 for eight razor cartridges, you got to have a crowbar to get it off the dagum hangar thing. And boy, just try to walk out with some and see what if bells and whistles go off and you get an electric shock, because there's a tracking device in there. those things in the stores, they'll follow you home. It's a whole goddamn industry. Now, the Razor police.

But not with Harry's, because they got their own factory in Germany, and they're smuggling this shit in overnight. So nobody knows it's here. They're not smuggling. Everyone knows it's here, wherever here may be, and they're not smuggling anything, and there's no smuggling involved in the Harry's operation. Well, they don't want people to rip off the incredible construction

of these refills that are the pinnacle of refillness. And not only do they have the little strip on there that lubricates your face with the aloe and the vitamin E while you're shaving, but also there's a little tremor on the other side that you can get, you can get down and just get one particular hair, one whisker, and just toy with it, and just almost pull it out but then let it go, and then almost pull it to the point where it's, screams and then let it go and then whish it right off like that and that little son of a bitch

you've tortured him and sent him to hell. Once again, fun and games and funny anecdotes aside, funny, metaphorical anecdotes aside. Well, you know what's funny, all of Harry's blades and grooming products can be delivered right to your door so you don't have to go out in public.

If you need a shave that bad, you don't want to go out and let people see you anyway. So stay home, set your preferred schedule. They'll send you the It never run out of blades. And they got the shave gel and the deodorant and the body. I've got a thing of shave gel right here in my hand, Brian. Hear that?

That's the sound of quality gel. And how heavy that razor is. You could also, you could turn this around and use this as a goddamn, just kind of like a fucking rolling nickels if you punch somebody. No, you can't. And well, just if somebody's trying to interrupt and get in the way of the mirror when you're shaving, you want to cut your throat. So just knock them the fuck out.

What is that? If they're going to get in between you and the mirror while you're shaving, you could bleed out. So just turn this thing around in your hand, give them a little tap on the chin, continue your shave. And right now... Isn't there a sink in between you and the mirror?

Well, yeah, but somebody might try to lean in between because they've got to see themselves too. And if you're a leaner in between her, boom. For a limited time, ladies gentlemen, our listeners can get the Harry's Plus trial set for only $10 at Harries, H-A-R-R-Y-S dot com slash J-C-E. That includes the all-new Harry's Plus Razor,

one refined five-blade cartridge, a two-ounce foaming shave gel container, and a travel cover to protect your blades on the go. So when you're traveling, you put it in your bag, you reach in, you don't slice a goddamn carotid artery in your finger because it's got the little fucking cover on. Safety first, ladies and gentlemen.

Safety first. Safety first. Because these things are sharper than a serpent's tooth. Sharp as sharp as a rapier wit and they will slice you from asshole to appetite. They'll slice you and dice you. No, they won't. And cut you up into, well, if you mishandle them. Don't handle it. You'd have to really mishandle it to do that.

You don't want to do anything like that. Keep it in your face with shaving cream or shaving gel on your face. If you break into, well, see, here's the thing. If you break into one of these cartridges and take the blade itself out, it's sharp as shit. And then you stick it on a chalk, a block of wood. Chalk. And then you can come up from behind somebody.

And, but oh, this is only in prison now. And do nothing. And let them know where they can get a great razor. That's what Jim was going to see. This is only in prison. Can you do something like that? Because you got to make your own weapons to protect yourself. That's why Harry's is so popular with prisoners, because this is one sharp son of a gun.

That may not be what they're looking for. They want to talk about the people they're popular with in the free world. And of course, everybody deserves a second chance. That's what Harry's believes. Even if you've committed crimes in your past, you still deserve the right to a good shave. For the record, we don't know what Harry believes about any of these things. So let's not say what Harry's believe you're not. Well, are you saying that everybody with a beard is because that they're criminals in their past and they're not allowed to shave?

Not at all. That wasn't what I said in any way. That wasn't even close to what I said. On behalf of all the beards in the world, I just wanted to speak up. Well, ladies and gentlemen, whether it's a mustache or a beard on your face, perhaps those sideburns, you got to take care of yourself and you need the right razor to do it. Like Jim said earlier, why use a crowbar or have to go to the guy at CVS to ask for help to unlock something so you can get the razors you want to buy? Just go right to Harry's a great deal for the listeners, Jim.

That's right, and it's from Germany. So you know it'll fuck you up. That's not what you know. That's not what you know. What you know is they put a lot of hard work and determination into their fine steel and And we've seen what their hard work and determination can do over there. Harries.com slash JCE. That's right.

A great razor. You get the razor, the cartridge, the foam gel, and the travel cover. This foaming gel also, I understand, serves as an instant. Oh, no. Cotorization device. If you shave just a little too deep, it'll just get it on quick. That may not be exactly how it works. but ladies and gentlemen, for those of you who have shaved...

The beautiful boxes comes in also. Just beautiful. If you've shaved in the past, you may have to shave again in the future, and this is what you need right now, a great deal for the listeners. They have a booklet. They have a booklet that comes in it and tells you how to shave also. Harries.com. Four easy steps.

No, it has four easy steps of the prepping and the washing and the lathering and the shaving. And the precision trimmer is on the back of the cartridge. That's where you can get up in your nostril that way, because it's precision, which comes from the Latin word meaning nostril, proboscis. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, do what you got to do, take care of what you need to take care of in the facial hair category, harris.com slash JCE for a great deal, $10 for the Harry's Plus trial set. Proboscis.

Oh, Brian, while we're talking about people whose gravy has penetrated my plate, I'm about there with Smackdown. I'm teetering. I'm on the fence because, are we going to tune in next week? And Smackdown will not be seen tonight for this special presentation of the Jelly Roll Show, a Mark Goodson and Bill Todman production with special musical guests, John Davidson, the Hager Twins, and Monty Rock the Third. He just died.

Well, they'll bring him back. he's booked is there is there any bigger example of by the end of the night jelly roll got RKOed and the people like yes finally what the he's in everything

he's wrestling he's making peace in backstage segments he's conferring with Nick Aldus he's out there in the Cody and Orton fucking angle and I mean you know I said what I thought of him a couple of weeks ago. I saw the picture of him hugging Christy Gnome with a big smile on his face.

And as far as I'm concerned, I'm done with him as a fucking human being. He's a garbage person because he hugged a soulless blood-drinking lying ghoul in public. But having said that, they've portrayed him to their audiences, this. respectful, humble country boy celebrity that's gotten this opportunity. And boy, he's just so respectful and humble. And it's gone from that to he's all over the show. He's beating wrestlers in matches. And he's in the main event angle for the world title.

They are running people off of jelly roll. And I don't think they even know it because they're so thrilled. to have him involved because he's a big star. Do you see where I'm going with this? I do. You know, Mr. T. would get physical a little bit, but his whole gimmick was he was a physical guy. Jellyroll beating up wrestlers,

not even this match, but in previous segments, you know, just beating up the Mizz or whoever. Just seems like it's placating what he wants more than, and what they want more than what the fans want. W.W.E. is in love with Jellyroll more than any fans. is.

And I understand that he's getting pops and people, oh, cheer, yay, because it's the way he's presented. But the problem is going to be that while they've done a good job on presenting him personally as a sympathetic figure,

this just, he's in everything and he's doing all this shit. And do they think that the fans are going to be like, oh, look, he can't do this? but he's really trying when he's everywhere, or are they,

is there going to be a backlash? Is there going to be die, Rocky die? Or do we go, now this is ridiculous when they hit their pop-eye moment with how much more do we have to watch this fucking guy do?

Well, let's just say if a top heel did something to him, the fans would not have a problem with it. They'd probably pop as we may see. Another problem is I just forwarded you an email from WWE. This is what they sent me. Are they on us again, Brian?

This is what they sent me a few hours before Smackdown, the preview. But just look at, when you first open it up, Randy Orton's the first thing you'll see. Look at the wrestler images they use and scroll down until you get the jelly roll. Okay, we got the images. Cody and Randy are at the top and then Charlotte and Alexa and the bellas. And then a group poster and oh my God. jelly roll making a praying motion with his hands while the cross is tattooed on his face along with a variety of other Rube Goldberg drawings.

With like a puppy dog look. It's just, it's the most ridiculous photo to use. He looks like he's a hillbilly pope trying to bless somebody. And he's going to step in a squared circle for the first time. Wait a minute. this says jelly roll will step back into the squared circle for the first time. Oh, since SummerSlam. Since SummerSlam.

Okay. That was like back again for the very first time since SummerSlam to take on Kit Wilson. Oh. And he's above McIntyre and Fatou and Ria Ripley and these other people. It just, it's I just love the fact that he posed like this. Like someone said, all right, let's do some shots. We'll use this for the press.

And he's like, this is my pose. Hold on, let me get serious. It goes with the cross tattooed on his fucking face. Anyhow. So they were in Pittsburgh, for those of you keeping track. And the attendance was reported at 12,700 plus. So everybody in Pittsburgh's going to file for bankruptcy.

next week. And last week we didn't talk about Smackdown because other things happened. But Orton did a great promo in the ring. First of all, Orton has been brilliant in this whole thing because he's just being Randy Orton. And he knows how to do subtle little things to change people's tempo and et cetera, even though they're all still cheering him because now he's an icon and he's the cool thing. to fight Cody.

But, and I understand the company doesn't care because they knew that was going to happen and they had to know it was going to fucking happen. But in this case, it's Orton and it works. So anyway, again, not only did he do a great promo in the ring last week, but then in a backstage thing, they showed some of it.

He called Matt Cardona, a Markass stooge and an indie nerd. which we'll get to and then he got a pep talk from jelly this is all last week and then he got a phone call and then he kicked Cardone on the balls and broke his arm

and there's a big deal who's on the phone with him Brian Vince who do you really think so on the phone with Vince McMahon if the whole thing is around what was the first thing we heard him say to someone on the phone the whole I don't remember he referenced Cody

saying there's more than one what does Cody say there's more than one royal family yeah there's more than one royal family unless he's talking to Ted DiBiase Jr. I don't know who would be it has to be someone in a wrestling family I would presume right well okay here's the thing here's what I'm going to say

and I'm going to say the outlier is it turns out to be cowboy bob his dad because he's in a wrestling family family. I think he's talking to himself. I think he's talking to the voices in his fucking head. And he's convincing himself that the Orton's are a goddamn royal family too. And he's going to goddamn do something about it. What do you think about them apples? I like it. Let's make him King Bob Orton. No, I honestly think that Randy is talking to himself

in his head. That's what they're going to do. So mark that down in your little black book wherever you keep it. Maybe not Vince. Maybe Stephanie. No. Celebrate Hall of Fame weekend by turning heel once again to the... Somebody's going to get the phone away from him and it's going to be completely dead, not even turned on.

And that's how he goes. They like strap him to a... Strap him to a... Yeah, they strap him the Hannibal Lecter thing and fucking carty bomb. Well, they can get the straight jacket from the other fucking fucking... guys that used it last week. Anyway, the Orton entrance and in-ring promo was first, and the fans are cheering at him. There's some things they won't cheer like if he just, you know, killed Cody's cat or something,

but they are cheering most of the things that he does because he's fucking over. And he's got a point. He said, Cody told me to be the best version, the best version. of Randy Orton. He told me to be the viper. He told me to listen to the voices. Well, I've been, I've been thinking about number 15 for years,

and then Cody gives me his blessing. And now that I'm listening to those voices again, I'm not responsible for what happens. And they cheered, yes, because they want to see chaos and mayhem, because it's all bullshit. And then he even, he even said, it's all your voices

that are the problem, he can turn on him. He can, fuck you, you all suck. Like when they loved us being to be in the Midd Out Express in Philadelphia, but we still hadn't turned heel officially or turned baby face officially yet. And when I had one night, I said, you're the sorriest looking bunch of people I've ever seen in my life. And they said, yes, yes, we are.

But anyway, he said there's one voice that I listened to. and we're about to find out. And Cardona's music interrupts. And Orton is pissed. And out comes Cardona. And he's limping and or not limping, but he's selling his arm and everything with the sleeve on it. They said his arms fucked up from last week.

And he gets into the ring. And as the microphone at his rig and he just bops, Orton in the head with his head with his. his microphone and Orton rolls out on the floor and we're out, which was kind of an odd. They're going to come back to it. There's more that's going to happen, but that was kind of an odd ending. But at the same time, you could not have Cardona come out and just beat up in some fair way, Randy Orton, which would be ridiculous.

But still, that microphone must have been made a steal. right the Orton couldn't get up he was just sitting there watching the ring he was he was stunned he was you know they were going to come in and do the concussion check so it was a loaded microphone possibly the only time that Cardona has ever done anything good on a microphone

should we mention this now before we get to the match later on because he's going to come back out but this fucking cardona the reason why I weren't called him the mark ass indie nerd whatever the fuck. Cardona and some friend of his, and in all fairness and honesty,

this is why I'm going to say this. I have never met or spoken to either one of these guys, either Cardona or his cohort, and he does a little podcast, and they make people's action figures, I guess, out of their garage or whatever they're doing over there. And what was it? It was a couple years ago, Brian,

because it was when I came out with the Midnight Express action figures. And this fucking guy got on his podcast and said to his partner said, well, yeah, you and me, we ought to be doing Cornett's figures and Midnight Express

figure because the one he's got now are the shits. This is the way that this knit with, this amoeba-brained moron chose to introduce himself to me by slandering the

fine products that I was currently about to be selling to the goddamn cult of Cornett members of the general public and the fine consumers out there because he can do so much better. Overlooking the fact, first of all, that he's not dealing with some kind of local yokel at the fucking village Kmart. I'm an international yacht broker from Toulon, France, and I deal in thousands of pieces, which is over above and beyond his meager capabilities as an amateur in the field, but also his gravy went all over my plate, Brian, with that one statement.

Fuck you, you fucking indie, mark-ass nerd. The way to do business with Jim Cornett is not to lead with, yeah, the stuff you got now is the shits when we have never been officially introduced. nobody has ever officially come up to us and said Jim Cornett meet Indy Markass nerd with a big fat yap so I believe the the remark that I made to you at that point in time was I can tell you who for the rest of goddamn eternity will not be making

any Jim Cornett action figures we know that right now that you could do on your own you have the choice to do whatever you want, whatever style of figure, work with whoever you want. And to be rather honest, we hear from people all the time because you're a much requested figure in the world of figures, so to speak. Everyone's respectful. It's because of my new figure. But everyone's respectful. Everyone's kind. Everyone's, everyone would love to do something. And everyone understands the position that you're in. And everyone understands that also what you did with your figures is very different

and then signing a wrestler to a licensing deal where you could do something with them for a limited run. You know what I would suggest that Cardona could do with his figures? He could take all them some bitches, bowl them up, turn them sideways, and combine them with all the dildos that Vince used to name after the boys and shove them all up his fucking ass.

What he can do with all them things? There. Anyway, continuing on with Smackdown the bellas had a match with Charlotte and Alexis Bliss and somewhere another Alexa

there you go named after Billy Joel's daughter and then the fridge and lash those two parade floats came in and beat all four of them up and they were actually going to try to give Alexa Bliss the Vegematic my God I was thinking

holy Christ, please don't try it, but suddenly Bailey and Lyric came in and beat up the big girls. And what I saw of this, which wasn't much, was quite messy. That's about all I got to say about that. Because then there was some more jelly roll. He was giving pep talks to just various people in the back. I guess he's now a motivational speaker. He's a dear Abby to the talent. he's just come in and made a big difference

and everybody's moral outlook on things, Brian. Let's see. He is all over. I mean, you're not exactly. He's all over this fucking show. Yeah, yeah. All over, like gravy on my plate. Ria Ripley was in the ring.

She did a promo, but Jade Cargill and her new stooges, or K-Fabe and Mia Yim. Remember when she had baddies, Jade did in AW? Oh, I remember, yeah. And now she's got better baddies. But her buddies, these baddies are K Fabe and Mia Yim. And they interrupt, they take a break in the middle. They come back and Ria Ripley is in a match beating up K Fabe.

And within two minutes, they do a D-Q because Jade beat Ria up. And Ria made a comeback and all three of them beat her up. So they just wanted to get that in there. Can they get that belt off of Jade at WrestleMania? fast enough. I just, Jesus Christ. They just gave her a heel stable.

Is now the time? Yes. Because then she'll have something to fall back on. Then the moment we were all waiting for for the first time ever since fucking August, jelly roll enters the ring to take on Kit Wilson.

And this, there's a germ of, classic pro wrestling in here somewhere just enough to just enough to piss you off as Mama Cornett would say about a small portion. If you got the celebrity who could do a couple of things, you could have this match with Bobby Heenan. You could have this match with J.J. Dillon. I wouldn't have wanted to have this match, but you could have the match with a referee

or that's a heel of some description or a manager or just a really secondary, well, I guess this is, it's a secondary opening match fucking guy. But poor old kit, he's saddled with this awful, rotten fucking gimmick that's as bad as the male model thing they try to do. At least he's trying to go with it. Of course, he's going to have to completely change his name and the way he looks, grow a beard, possibly have transgender surgery,

anything to get away from this if he ever wants to have a career in a wrestling business. But he worked his ass off here because if they would have a match with the celebrity with things that are kind of easy to teach, Kelly Kit Wilson had to feed for everything here and still jelly roll he's not a natural. You can tell he's a regular guy

that's had some lessons. And Kit was bouncing off of him and feeding for him to do his things but still it's gratuitous to jelly roll and this fantasy camp experience that he's having that he needs to do

the catch into the power slam off the top or the, the moves that yes, punch, yes, kick, yes, body slam, but did he not,

it got completely off the pale here, Brian, in your opinion, did you see that when he's doing, he's standing there flat-footed like a green fucking guy

in the ring, but he's doing complicated moves because the other guy has taken him off of him. Was that... Am I just being too fucking critical here? It's what he's been

rehearsing. It's what he's been training is those specific moves. You know, if you watch like just, I don't even remember exactly what if it was a hip toss or just shooting him to the ropes. He either ran out of energy or more than likely just didn't, like, it didn't look right. Like, you know, it just it looked like, like you said, it didn't... Kit Wilson, I think is good and made it look good for that, but you could tell that Jelly Roll had a lot of limitations.

Well, what it is is this is, he's never been an athlete, obviously. This is all new to him. You don't get the movement of being in the ring and doing these things that looks natural like the guys that have any idea of what they're doing without a lot more time, training and practice that he has had and without the athleticism. that is somewhat required, but even then, that's what I'm saying. You know, I can punch and kick. And later on, I figured I could hit the ropes and do some other things,

but if they'd have kept it more simple, where the guy's just fighting like a guy and trying to make the simple shit look good, instead of he's catching people with power slams off the top, and he's doing the, what was the, the backslide and all this other shit, because then it becomes, okay, I'm seeing that this guy doesn't have smooth movement in the ring

and he's practiced this shit. If Mike Tyson had showed up, you wouldn't want him to start wrestling. Well, that's a, yeah, I wouldn't have, wouldn't have expected Mike Tyson to do a backslide. Or whatever the fuck, right?

So anyway, point being, Kit fed him for everything. And then there was two flip-flopping flies. he's making Dusty Roads' comeback. And it just got ridiculous because he's having fun. And then his finish was a choke slam.

Just because he used to weigh 500 pounds and now he's a deflated truck stop novelty condom as I've drawn the assembly too before with other people. Why is he a powerhouse that can lift this full-grown wrestler with one arm. After it seemed his arms didn't have full range of motion during the match. Well, I mean, again,

it's, you can buy the choke slam from the fucking Undertaker or Kane or Big Show or goddamn all these giant guys do, but Jelly Roll? That's his fitted to choke slam. Because it's cool and the other guy can jump up in the air and fucking, all jelly has to do is move his arm. but it's not plausible or logical or lyrical or responsible or practical.

An interesting market to decide to do this match in. Pittsburgh, noted Jelly Roll hotspot, Pittsburgh. Not Nashville or wherever. Pittsburgh. You know, I think Kit Wilson's pretty good. And I hated him like you did when he was with his tag team partner who got hurt. it was almost like that first season of American Idol they had two hosts

and then eventually they got rid of the other guy and no one missed him and it was just Ryan Seacrest Kill Wilson's good on his own it's insufferable when he has another guy doing the same gimmick to him back and forth well but the gimmick he read jelly a poem from his mother before he jumped him at the start of the match

and the whole toxic well yeah last week had a a slam poetry battle. It's a cartoon. I'm not defending the gimmick. I'm defending the guy in the gimmick. I think he's good. And maybe this is his like triple H in a fucking,

you know, a bunch of mud moment. I don't know. A bunch of mud. You know, there's certain guys that you're like, yeah, there's something there, but they really seem to like be booking them like shit. Like they're covered in mud or they're doing jobs to jelly roll, just like things that are like,

You're thinking of the pig pen match. That's right. That's right. Yes, it's what you're trying to say. It wasn't actually mud. It was pig poop. But nevertheless, it's just saying AEW to me at this point is just insulting to anyone who has ever taken pride in their performance in the professional wrestling industry

because of the fakeness and the silliness and the goddamn just endiness. This shit ain't anything. better, but at least they're in the company that's still making money. You can't, you know, you can't get away from this kind of foolishness in the business anywhere these days because they've come to have convinced themselves that this is what wrestling is supposed to be or it's supposed to contain poor shit like this. But at least they're still fucking selling tickets hand over fist and making goddamn billions of dollars around the world with their top talent.

But it's hard to watch this show. It's hard to watch the other show just because of the redundancy repeated redundantly with all of the indie-minded talent and the fakery and foolishness. It's hard to watch this show because they've got top talent and they've got fucking all the goddamn crowds, the momentum, the tools, the financing, and they're still doing this silly-ass, fake bullshit with fucking formerly fat fucking celebrities. And it's 9.30, Eastern Time at this point,

this three-hour extravaganza. We have seen Randy Orton come out and goddamn cut a promo and get bopped in the head by Matt Cardona's microphone. We've seen a girl's tag match of a girl's brawl jelly roll in a wrestling

match and it's 9 fucking 30. This is around the time I fell asleep in the middle of the show. I had to come back this morning and watch it. Well, Brian, I know why you fell asleep because you were making the mistake of watching this boring television program why you were

already comfortable on your helix sleep mattress. Tell the truth now. Isn't that what happened? Well, no. I, well, I, to tell you the real truth, I was sitting at my desk and I was getting tired and I said, let me go to watch Smackdown in the bedroom on the mattress, the Helix Sleep mattress, and then I just fell asleep. It was on still, but I fell asleep watching. But it was on. It wasn't like, but no, I chose to go to the Helix sleep mattress. It wasn't like I was already there. The choice was, let me watch it in comfort for my bed and it was an inadvertent passing out. But once you

got on your mattress, then you were off into fucking Slumberland. I couldn't find it. That's the point. I couldn't fight it. You couldn't fight it. No, because of the secret aromas of all of the chemical effects that the Helix mattress has on you, you've heard of aromatherapy. No chemical effects. Well, helix just, it just goes straight to the point. They smell so good because they soak them in ether before they leave the factory.

Oh, Jesus. Though they do not soak them in ether, there's no ether involved. Well, that's why when you lay down within six, seven seconds, boom. So don't plan on watching long mini-series or bingeing the fucking Netflix or anything, folks. You're going to have some serious night's sleep on the Helix mattress. And let's just make sure we clarify and if any of the nice people at Helix are listening. That's a throwback to a previous segment we did all about fun with Ether. But what we're talking about are great mattresses.

No chemical anything. Great mattresses. And of course, comfort is always first. And you pick what's comfortable for you. And Helix has the mattress for you. nobody's going to tell you what comfortable is. You're going to have to go to helixleep.com and pick that out for yourself. You're going to have to see whether you like the soft or the medium or the firm

or you like sleep on your side or your back or in a state of suspended animation in some type of hyperbaric chamber. The new hyperbaric mattresses, they're flash freezing you. It's the same process as frozen coffee crystals. We've talked about this. Please stop making up models that listeners request and they don't. Is that still in development? They do not have that mattress or the Belagosi mattress or any of the other previous ones,

but what they have are great mattresses you can see right now. If you go right to the website, helixsleep.com, of course. Of course, a study that they ran found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle while sleeping on a Helix mattress. You cannot argue with facts like that. With the 129 sleep trial, the limited-liped sleep trial, the limited-liped. lifetime warranty, the free shipping, the seamless delivery, and not to mention that when you are in that deep sleep cycle, it will actually prolong your lifespan because your organs will slow down

so much more than on the other mattresses that they'll age at a slower rate. You'll almost be in a state of suspended animation. No, you will not almost, no, no. When you wake up, there is a certain amount of acclamation to be done. You're going to have to learn to speak again. No, you won't. It'll be just like it was the night before or the afternoon before. Helix doesn't decide when you go to sleep. They just guarantee the comfort of your sleep and that you will have a great sleep. Oh, you can just go crazy and go to sleep in the middle of the morning if you want to. And just make sure to set a real loud alarm because you're going to be deep, boy, and maybe have the neighbors come in every couple of days. It could be wine in the morning or breakfast at night. It doesn't matter. Helix is there for you with a great mattress that you could pick. Jim, you have Helix sleep mattresses in your house and I have them here.

Probably getting a new one here. You said you have to get a new one as well. The listeners may need a new one. How would they do that? Well, there's a great promo code and a great link. I'll say it before you hopefully get there soon. Helixleep.com slash JCE for a great deal. But Jim, I understand we have a great deal.

That's 20% off is sitewide is what going on right now at that same helixleep.com slash jCE just go take the quiz fill it out given the names of two neighbors that'll come and check on you every couple of days about 48 hours or so intervals don't need to make sure you come out of it no no you will come out of what oh you'll come out of it you will you're what you're just saying there's no hope i'm hoping you'll come out of it we're we never give up hope Brian they'll come out of it sooner or later you will you will

wake up? I mean, we can't guarantee that even. I mean, really, what are we saying here? Ladies and gentlemen, you know you need to go to sleep. We hope for the best. You need the mattress you could trust, the mattress that Jim, Cornett, and Brian last trust in our homes. Yes.

And you can get it from Helix Sleep. Jim, what's that promo code? Uh, J-C-E. That's right, helixleep.com slash J-C-E. Now we lay us down to sleep, and it's a gamble from here. Here, folks, okay. Speaking of fun with Ether, back to Smackdown.

Well, either Carmel O'Hays or Sammy Zane was going to be the United States champion after this next contest, and Trick Williams was going to watch, just to make sure. And they went for, I would say, probably about 20 fucking minutes here with this particular thing they did here. Did you see the pre-match thing in the back where Trick Williams got a match at WrestleMania from Nick Aldus, but Sammy didn't? and that led to Sammy getting the match with Carmelo. Oh, yes, yes.

Well, because Sammy's all conflicted and fucked up, right? Because he's been telling people trying to give him advice, but it never comes out right, and he's alienated some of his friends and ticked him off. And then he feels left out and looked over. And then they didn't have any match for him at WrestleMania. Then after this match, spoiler, he's going to win. when he went up to Nick Aldus holding that belt up, he's like,

oh, you got a spot for me now there, Nick Aldous, pal fella? And Nick Aldous pal fella said, yeah, you're going to defend the title against Trick Williams at WrestleMania. Who could have seen that coming since Sammy had pickled Trick in a face backstage earlier and also Trick had been out there watching the match? So at least the stuff makes sense. you can see where they're going and whither they've been. It's not like it just comes out of left field, out of a clear blue sky,

dropping in out of a helicopter, appearing out of thin air. It's just scary when you have the thought that there was more creative nuance with the road dog writing the show. See, here the, you know, people, people were pickling the poor old Brian Armstrong, well, now they've got rid of him. Nothing changes. That's the thing.

And that's the point that I make is that you can't judge anybody's booking that works in, that has worked in either the WWF, W, WCW, any of the big companies. You can't really judge Tony's, booking fully because as we know he lets a lot of the guys just do whatever they writes the match down and whatever they're going to fucking do if some if it's not one person in charge of who the talent roster is and what the matches are and what the finishes are and how they are

conducted then you can't blame anybody for being a bad book because it doesn't matter how there Haman was in in creative when there was some shite on television in during his time in the early 2000s because he was just the head guy

he wasn't all the guys now he's the size of all the guys but you get my point there it is that's the one thing about modern wrestling unless it's a company that's small enough that the booker is the booker and he has say over everything

thing, you can't judge anybody's booking. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I guess that's really what it is. You know, previously they were super serving the show that Vince McMahon wanted, and now it's the show that Paul Levec wants, or that Bruce Pritchard wants to give the Polo, whatever it is. So it's not really, and I'm not defending or putting down the booking of a Brian Armstrong or anyone else, Michael Hayes, who knows who else. they're not booking the show they want to see they're booking the show their boss wants and that's why it doesn't change even when

the head of creative changes and I will say one more thing about this match and we'll move on because it's already 10 o'clock but on the spot that they did to change the title here was they were doing an O'Connor roll up into the ropes but Trick was on the apron and Sammy did the deal

where he ducked and there was Carmelo Hayes' face and Trick nails Carmelo. And I thought that it was supposed to look like Trick had been trying to hit Sammy, but Sammy

ducked and he hit Carmelo, but Sammy ducked and then he hit Carmelo. It was like, how the fuck did you not So I don't know whether the finish was a fuck up of what it was supposed to be or if since they're having, you know, that match, a trick can say, well, it was a plan. I wanted you to be the champion so I can take it away for it.

You see what I'm saying here. But it didn't look like the timing was what you would have expected. Or did you pay that much attention? I paid attention. I paid attention. You were on your helix mattress. You were in a corner. I watched this morning.

But did you get off your mattress? I was in the office. No, I watched from the office. You know, one of the study says is 64% of the people asleep on a Helix mattress can get up before noon the next day and walk again under their own power after some therapy and massage.

You closed a copy already, so you're just, I don't know where these numbers are coming from. I just, I've got this memorized because, you know, they're famous. I want to let the listeners know that you can't trust that, but you could trust. there's more smackdown oh more of the smack yes or no yes no no no more of that jacob fatu came out to the ring he ain't a happy guy because last week he and drew

had a big fight where drew pulled fatu out of the car through the windshield and they fought everywhere and then they fell off the top of a fucking building and and then there was some nasty paper cuts exchanged. But nevertheless, Jacob Fatu came to the ring and did a promo. And he was selling after last week's

big fight. He was all beat up and he was, you know, selling like he was having trouble talking, but he's there. And he started talking about what Drew did to him. And the people, even though they like him, they're whatting him

because his speech pattern leads to being whatted. He speaks in short bursts and that's easy to what. And sometimes he's been able to work with it to where it seemed like it fit and then he made a point of they all cheer. But when he was trying to still be selling a little bit, it was distracting from what he was trying to say. and again, I've got to think that if Steve Austin has any regrets about his wrestling career, it will be starting that fucking thing.

But nevertheless, Drew can't keep him down. He had plenty of emotion and he was fired up. He's still standing and every week from now on he's going to dog walk Drew McIntyre's punk ass. And that means that Drew's music is going to play. He comes out, he's beat up to, and his arms wrapped up or whatever the fuck. And here we go. Again, Fatu's not the victim. Drew is.

He said, Fadu, you're just a criminal and you did the time. And ever since you got out, you've stolen my title, you stole WrestleMania, you stole everything from me. And whereas Fattu had been talking about Drew taking food from his family and food out of his kids' mouths. He's like, your kids' foods, screw your damn kids. What about my food? And then Nick Aldous interrupted because neither one of them was cleared to medically compete tonight, but they ought to be okay by April 18th. I like the people involved and they're doing a good job. But God damn it, Brian, do we not see this same thing every week now? Did the Wrestling shows of old, wherever they were from,

whatever territory they represented, whatever talent roster, did every week the same basic angle or situation occur over and over again? Not like we see today, no way. I mean, matches occurred over and over again because it was a program about wrestling, but the angles, the interviews, when things got out of hand or, you know, broke the format, they were all in completely different ways every week. And then you did something, again, that you did two or three or four years ago. So they're going to be okay by WrestleMania, and WWE is not responsible

because the match is going to be unsanctioned. Which is No DQ anything goes Which would be nice if that was different From any other four matches on every fucking show Again, that's part of the problem You're saying they did a good job here And you're saying the pros and the cons

But Are the fans buzzing about this? I mean, they're doing big things Like falling into mystery ditches Or whatever happened last week Do you feel like the fans are really into it? They're wetting Jacob Fatt too. Part of that's,

because they don't really, I don't think they're really invested in this feud. Well, no, and it's just because they have the opening. It's the only one that talks like this and then talks like that and then talks like that. And it's perfect, so they fall into it. But Roman and Punk has buzz. Cody and Orton has buzz. Sound like some, they've got some buzz. Brock and Oba has all the buzz.

Brock and Oba has a lot of buzz. They got all kinds of buzz. They're practically vibrating. This not so buzzy, but also, again, whether you, the people are still buying tickets and spending ridiculous amounts of money,

whether it's because they're interested or invested or whether it's just by habit. And that they're like, this is a thing we do now, or we've got to do or we get, whatever. But the shows are so similar. you see so much of the same shit happening over and over again. It's just driving me out of my mind. And then Jelly was in the back,

giving Matt Cardona a pep talk about his match upcoming. The backstage pastor. Please, let me confess to you, my sins father, roll. So then, Randy and Cardona is the main event. And he's already broke fucking Cardona. Jonah's arm last week and it's in a stylish, you know, black colored cast. And, you know, he's going to need to sell my action figures if this is his wrestling career at this point. Orton, the whole idea is to get heat on the new heel,

Orton. Of course, they're still going to cheer, but it is to show his new heel attitude and, oh, my gosh, Cody's going to be in trouble. So again, this was perfect with what Orton does. he destroyed the arm that he injured last week he gave Cardona some hope spots but he mostly beat the shit out of him and worked the arm and when it was by the time it was finally over there was no more hope spots

and he just fucking beat him RKO 1, 2, 3 so Orton knows exactly what he's doing he's perfect in all of this but the problem is he can't stop the fans from cheering them Well, but in this instance, they don't need to because it's going to be a big time,

big buddy WrestleMania main event and the match because they're both smart workers, the match knock on wood, nobody gets super kicked and knocked out, is going to be fantastic. And I think they're going to put it on Orton. I think Cody's going to get boot out of the building

at WrestleMania against Orton. I think he will. also. But he still at least has not done anything that Cody wouldn't do unless they're going to turn him, which I know some people said, well, he told Rock to go fuck himself. And he should have because he shouldn't have turned heel then. It would have been insane for him to turn heel then. Now I don't know. Orton, the Viper, is the champion to take all. on a new and fresh prospect and, you know, have one more run

before he rides off into the sunset and Cody gets bitter and embraces the golden boy side of himself. And he doesn't have to paint himself gold. I'm talking about the chosen one, golden boy type of thing. If you can get a cameo out of the rock, finish that story. Cody finally took the deal. now i think i think i think i think cody's going to stay far away from the rock as possible and hope everybody

else will too but nevertheless ordn one and then you look at the screen and cody's bus pulls up it is 10 minutes to goddamn 11 eastern on a show that goes off the air at 11 he must have got caught in traffic and as he pulls up in the bus he gets out they go to the break and the picture and picture during the break had cody make the entire walk from the parking lot all the way through backstage and out while Orton is in the ring tossing the security guys out like I'm staying here and when they come back they play his music we got like six minutes on here we go Cody comes the ring all this in security are trying to stop him he says I just want to talk and he gets in the ring and immediately starts kicking Orton's ass

and again subtly Orton wasn't running and back in up like a heel, like a chicken shit, but Orton was the one that would bail to get space. Orton was the one that needed some respite. Orton was the one that shoot up here amongst us because one of us needs some relief.

That was subtle heelishness but still not out of character for Orton because it was something you'd do. This guy's all over you. You're going to get the fuck out of there and try to get some space. And they did a long pull apart. where they were all into the ring and back out on the floor

and had 15 security guys. And Cody would do a break loose. And then Orton would do a break loose. And then Orton would bail and Cody would catch him and they'd fight on the desk. And then Cody'd do a break loose. And finally, they're holding both of them. And here's again, 15 officials in the ring

holding these two guys in opposite corners and here comes that fat basset hound-faced fucking jelly roll to get into a he all settle things down like he's fucking Kissinger and he says something to Orton and then he sees trying to talk to Cody and Orton breaks free and Jelly's looking behind him kind of trying not to look but looking like oh shit is he here and Orton turns him around and arched chaos him. And that was the biggest pop I think of the fucking night. Because I don't know about the national audience, but I think by that point, Pittsburgh was tired of jelly. And then

they were chant, Randy, Randy, Randy. Yeah, they got a baby face heel. It's almost like the Steve Austin dynamic. Not to that level, obviously, but the fans are not ready or wanting to boo Randy. even though Randy is doing all the heel stuff against technically the top baby face and technically a baby face celebrity they prefer Randy but this is where it works

because whether they're reacting traditionally or not they're reacting and they're fucking over and the shit makes sense for both guys they haven't done anything out of character but at the same time for the reasons that I said before, Randy's an icon. At WrestleMania, everybody will see the belt change.

They want a moment. This is new and fresh. They know it's all bullshit. So they don't particularly have to goddamn choose between all I hope Rand, like in the old days, I hope the heel, you know, really gets his ass kicked and doesn't hurt the baby face. Now they're not like, I hope, the heel doesn't hurt the baby face. They're not worried about the baby face.

They just want to see shit take place. So yeah, fucking, he's a bad guy now. This is cool. But they're paying millions of dollars to do this, and the performances make sense in the overall scheme of it. So this I ain't got a problem with. If you've got two guys who aren't two of the biggest stars of the, world that don't have a goddamn coherent reason for wanting to have a fucking fight, then you've got an issue.

But they got that here. But they also got jelly roll. And I don't think it took much for people to say, thank you, Randy, for R.K.O. and jelly on this particular night. He just, he was everywhere. Everywhere. And I don't think anyone saw that match and said, you know, I really want to see him wrestle again. You've seen it.

You didn't see anything I may just say, I need to see more. No, and again, you shouldn't expect more because he's not Logan Paul. He's not even bad bunny. He's a fat guy that's never been athletic, but keep it simple and keep it short and limited quantities. And yay. But when it's ridiculous and it's, he's in everything and he's just suddenly started injecting himself as the father confessor of the company, he's going to get on people's nerves quick,

quicker and he's got on mine. That was Smackdown. And that's a list of most of the people that have got on my goddamn nerves this week, Brian. I didn't cover everybody. We're going to wait on a couple and see whether they come back or not. Sounds good, and we will come back on the drive-thru in a few days.

Are we still going to do that? Oh, come on. You can't leave that up in the air. You're going to disappoint people. Well, I don't want to do that. That would be too much like jelly. So, yes, we will be back on the drive-thru at a few days and back here on the experience to talk about fun stuff.

Maybe I'm going to take up golf. What's Tiger Woods doing? Anyway, we'll talk about something fun next week on the experience. And until then, folks, thank you to a specific number of people out there. Fuck you. And to everybody else, bye-bye. Get the experience