Jim Cornette Experience - Jim Cornette Experience Special - The Worst Of WWE, Volume 1

Episode Date: September 20, 2024

A special for Experience listeners today: Here is Jim Cornette's The Worst Of WWE Omnibus, volume one! Send in your question for the Drive-Thru to: [e-mail]  Follow Jim and Brian on Twitter: @TheJimCornette @GreatBrianLast  Visit Jim's official site at www.JimCornette.com for merch, live dates, commentaries and more!  You can listen to Brian each week on the 6:05 Superpodcast at 605pod.com.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Like the midnight and the rock and roll. He's in a fight for wrestling soul using a racket and some mind control. He's Jim Connest. The keys to the future, held by the past and with tag deep art. There we are back on the bus. A very special on the bus here.

The worst of WWE. Volume one, a bunch of matches and concepts. And yeah, a whole bunch of that and much more. With this man, the leader of the cult of Cornette, Mr. Jim Cornett. The best laid plans of mice and men, Brian last, often go awry. And in this episode, you know, we've done AEW, Volume 1 worst of, and many people are expecting a mini-series out of that. But we've got to give equal time to the rottenality and the awfulness,

and the horribleness and awfulness of it that will never be forgotten on the WWE side. A lot of this, by the way, came before the downfall of the former emperor of the company, Vince McMahon. The emperor has no clothes.

When his egg hatched and found out that he was chicken fucked, much of this predates the downfall, but nevertheless, we're given equal time to the folks over in Stanford that have brought us so many rotten things that we could talk about.

That's right. And again, we're going to go back several years on the experience in the drive-thru to go through these clips. Check them out. Let's get to it right now. The worst of WWE, Volume 1. I want to know who had the autonomy to do the hell and to sell things. I finally watched that. I watched part. I watched of it. You know, we heard from so many listeners upset that you didn't review it on the drive-thru. I couldn't believe how many people wanted to hear you talk about this.

Well, you're going to hear it now. And here are my hell in a cell thoughts. As we used to say down south, boy, that right there is a blue ribbon prize winning pig. Holy fuck. That was the ugliest fucking thing I have ever seen in my number one. I couldn't watch it all because I started trying to watch the match from the beginning, but the red light. And not only the red light, but the shots through the cage with the red light. I was getting a headache within two minutes. So everybody thought the finish sucked. So I'll just skip ahead to the finish.

Well, but I skip because it's supposedly this whole presentation, as they say, is 20-something minutes long. I go to about 15 minutes in and the fucking guy's already laying there. Bray Wyatt, the fiend is already laying there. and he's got a ladder on him and then here's Seth Rollins hits the fucking he proceeds to hit the ladder with a chair

and then he puts a chair on and then he hits it with a toolbox and they just keeps smacking and bashing this fucking dead body underneath all this shit in this red light give me a fucking headache and then he's looking conflicted and walking around like because you can tell the writers have had a part in this where they've said now show this emotion and now show that emotion even though the emotion that everybody else was showing was boo fuck you this shit sucks

the whole place was booing them out of the building because it was a shitty thing to look at and it was preposterous that it couldn't possibly fucking happen and the guy's not even bleeding underneath all this shit when his head should have been squished like a fucking bug and then he gets out and gets the sledgehammer and then he says sledgehammer is the fucking chair on top of the ladder on top of the toolbox and a blah blah blah and apparently that's just too much for the fucking referee now the goddamn metal folding chair swung at full momentum onto the metal ladder onto the guy's face that was permissible within the rules of wrestling and when you took the toolbox and just wore that motherfucker out with it

just hitting metal over the top of his skull repeatedly like a fucking madman that was sportsman like but then suddenly you fucking idiots whoever fucked this whole goddamn thing up and killed seth rawlins in the process possibly the best all around talent they've got on the roster today and and the people are booed him out of the building because the stupid shit that he's being told to do that was too much and the referee says fuck it and then they just try to carry this fucking guy out and here's the thing if they were gonna fuck the people on that finish the people would have been soundly fucked but at least maybe they would have had the feeling that well it wasn't the worst fuck i ever had i mean i didn't really like it but it wasn't that bad my

assholes not bleeding and then they proceeded to turn around and make their asshole bleed because the match got stopped because the guy had been pummeled with a sledgehammer and could not continue and then when they're trying to load him up on the stretcher he comes off the stretcher and mandible claws Seth Rollins and beats piss out of him so there was no reason to stop it because the indestructible supernatural creature was doing okay for himself What the fuck? I don't know who had anything to do with that and I don't ever want to know if it's anybody I like because that's the most miserable piece of shit and there was no way to sell that where that could possibly have been good where anybody could could go oh okay and then they just did it wrong no they did just fucking sucked

did you hear all the chanting well yes besides all the booing and chanting a refund and a eW and and fuck you and fuck this and fuck that and fuck everything. Now, you're the creator of hell in a cell, correct? I did not name it, and I did not come up with any of the individual concepts on my own. What I did was put them all together in that same place. For the bad blood pay-per-view, which I believe was the first one, the, or no, it was the hell of a cell for a taker and fucking,

Mick, I'm sorry, in 96, King of the Ring, whatever the fuck. The point is, Sean was the first one, I think. Tager and Sh, no, because Taker and Sean was at bad blood. That was 97. Wasn't King of the Ring? Whichever the first one was. You've got the cage that they had in Memphis, that went not only around the ring, but around ring side.

That's when Tommy Rich came out from under the ring and they shaved Lawler's head. That's so guys could fight outside the ring. you had a top on it that's like but you're right taker and shan michaels bad because cane ripped the fucking cage door off um you have the fucking top on it like war games that's where i stole that from you have cane ripped the cage off and interfere and taker and michaels like that doug furnace did in knoxville christmas night of whatever 1998 when they debuted him as the world's strongest man i just took all that shit and put it all together in the same place but yes and I'm offended I'm offended by what they've done to my baby and no that was

just that was fucking rotten now they incorporate the only Anderson move where you can lift the cage up with a remote control oh I know and then it's so it's such an inescapable foreboding structure that they flipped a fucking switch and it was up near 15 seconds and just what the fuck no somebody should be fucking taken out and hung in the parking lot over that one yes most definite. The Edge versus Orton package told the story well, but the story still doesn't make any sense to me.

He loves him. He loves him. He just wants to kill him. He wants to kill him because he loves him. I felt bad for Edge. I've always liked Edge. I think he's great talent. His first match back had to be in front.

He should have got the fucking standing ovation in the, in the stadium. him. And instead it's got to be, this was one, besides the fact what they did to cover up for the fact they didn't just want to have another match. This was one that needed the people because this was two main event guys, one making his return after almost 10 years or whatever the fuck. It needed the feedback of the people. They needed to have a match in the ring to play to their strengths. they both can work their asses off. Edge looked like he was in great fucking shape.

They needed to be in the ring in front of people, and they could have fucking torn the house down. But this was just fucking rotten. And, I mean, you know, okay, the RKO out of nowhere in the black, you know, outfit, and finally he was masquerading as a cameraman, even if they'd have stayed in the fucking ring and done 15 minutes of something,

it would have been better than, obviously what they did. I mean, all of the stuff looked good. They were laying shit in, but the pace, it took forever. He beat on edge forever. The referee counted 10 took forever.

They stayed in the gym forever, because they never used the fucking ring past the first two RKO's, did they? And they left and never to return. That's right. The brawl, in a cool location gets old

quick and under certain circumstances quicker than others. I've done these before many times over 30 fucking years. You need constant action. You need the chaos of people either trying to stop it or standing around cheering it on.

You need to make the point with mayhem and get to fuck out. It needs to be an angle that makes people want to see a fucking showdown match, not the, it doesn't, it's not supposed to be what the showdown match consists of. They go all around the fucking building where they do the, the old, this, I hated this about Japan when they got bad on this after a while,

when Brody got over so fucking strong and everybody had to brawl in the crowd. They just grab each other by the fucking collar or by the hair and they'll just walk to where the next place they need to go. Staggering and every once in a while swinging at each other. The fighting while going where you need to is what we'll call it. That gets old. A little bit of everything they did works. But what did this thing last 40 fucking minutes or thereabouts?

It felt like 40 fucking years. Well, yes. This was excruciating. And, you know, also obviously tell me what you thought, I thought it was a pretty bad taste doing the spot where Randy Orton was trying to hang edge with the weightlifting equipment, considering the Benwoss. Oh, God, damn. I didn't even think about that until right now.

That's, well, there's an extra element of golly there. It just, they work their asses off and they beat shit out of each other. But this just dragged on and on. It was twice as long as it needed to be. I do you know it got too just unbelievable and incredible for in all the places they were going why do they need a table that big in the conference room at the

performance center in OVW we had to guys sit and cross-legged on the floor but they went in offices and storage rooms and the warehouse the announcers are doing the fucking Masters golf announcing they're not even freaking out this is supposedly happening nobody's calling the cops It's just accepted that this has taken place, the last man standing match that did two moves in the ring, and for 30 minutes or more,

they're hitting each other with everything in the fucking building is not tied down. They've crossed the line, as I mentioned, on dark side of the ring, into felonious assault, but yet the referee's just right there to give slow 10 counts, and nobody's freaking the fuck out that shit's being damaged, somebody's going to get hurt, somebody's going to be sued,

this is not supposed to happen. The only way this kind of fight works is if it's shit that's not supposed to happen in addition to being short and to the point. This was being sanctioned as behavior by everybody involved in it. And the announcers weren't even going, oh, no, God, he's on the third T.

Cinderella story out of nowhere. And then they would go silent. Can you imagine? I thought about this watching this, because it was infuriating in so many different ways, especially the commentators. W.W.E commentators typically suck monkeys. monkey ass.

Anything, you know, the Michael Cole era. Hey, I was a WWF commentator. Not in this era, not in this era, not in the era where these guys are trained by Michael Cole as to do what I guess Vince wants, but the whispering and then the silence. Can you imagine, just picture any great brawl in Florida history or Memphis. If all of a sudden Lawler's beating the shit out of someone or Lance Russell started whispering. Can you imagine Gordon Soler? Or if he hadn't, if he had a laid out and hadn't.

said mustard everywhere. Oh my God, Dusty Rhodes is fighting back song. Can you just imagine they started whispering in the middle of these moments? It's so counterproductive and stupid and they had nothing but time to edit this thing.

They had nothing but time to fix the commentary, nothing but time to cut out 20 minutes of this endless brawl all over the performance center. The referee, I've never seen anyone in my life count to 10 as slow as he did. Oh, God, it was brutal. And then as soon as the end, as soon as the victory happens,

the announcers have been whispering the whole match, the ring announcer, as loud as he can't, the winner of a match! There's no one there. Why are you doing that? Anyway, maybe the worst thing I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of bad shit,

but this just wouldn't end. I've seen bad shit that goes six minutes. This was 40 minutes. It was, it was awful. Just the worst. And wait a minute. Once again, I can hear Morton and Edge both go, motherfuckers we beat the shit yes you beat the shit out of each other for way too long and way too

stiffly and it was preposterous at the end the DDT on a pickup truck at that point i started skipping a minute ahead on a couple of occasions to see if they'd be in any place different and they'd lay places forever but then when they finally get up on the top of that truck and they're there forever and they're back and forth or whatever the fuck but then the referee is saying in this in this preposterous scenario where they've gone past a what a realistic or legitimate fight could

have been under these parameters in these locations that it's just gone on so long that it's just it's not plausible and the referee goes come on he has a family he has a family fuck we've got families too we'd like to go back to them and then the concerto on top of after crying about it and taking 10 minutes to milk it

in front of no people just so that they can get that. I'm sure they were told to do this so that they could get these facial reaction shots on the camera. Then he gives the fucking concerto to Orton and the boom. And the winner, as you said, what the, just, they have to,

I'm not going to stop. If a guy has done all that shit to me, I don't care whether he said he loved me and he used to be my friend or not. After he fucking stuck the goddamn, you know, fucking spatula from the kitchen up my ass. Fuck it. I'm just going to take the chair.

I'm not going to cry about it. I'm not going to milk it. I'm just going to bash his fucking brains in. And he did it to his wife. Yes. Awful. Just the worst. What was that?

It wasn't. And I like John Cena. And I've never said anything bad about John Cena. I assume John Cena is gone also from the WWE and will never come back. That's the only reason he participated in this, I would think, because he'd never be seen again by this audience. How do I make notes on this?

He came to the ring, then Bray's in the fun house in the video, then Sina's in the fun house, then he goes through the door because the puppet tells him to, and fucking Lewis Carroll has Alice down the rabbit hole. I wrote the following, this is the end of wrestling. Why am I wasting my time watching this?

this isn't even a cool movie fight scene. This is just stupid and nonsensical. Even in the movie fight scene, they weren't obviously acting silly and doing stick with each other. I've never met Bray Wyatt, but I'm disappointed in John Sina. Bray Wyatt was emoting to the silly background music.

I don't know what the fuck was going on. Then they've changed characters. Sina was all of his old, characters. But then Bray Wyatt was fucking Hulk Hogan or somebody was doing something. He disappeared. This makes no sense. Sina's Hogan on Nypro.

I hate this. What does this shit even mean? This is the things I'm writing. Fiend appears and hits Sina with his finish. And the mandible claw. And Bray Wyatt counted the pin in a different shot for his own self holding Sena to Sarro, did he win? Thank fuck this is over.

I assume John never wants to come back to this bullshit. What? It didn't even make any sense as phony wrestling. It didn't make any sense as anything. It was making fun of the wrestling business, having them obviously worked together to not just do what Taker and AJ did, which was have a reasonably realistic looking movie

fight but to have silliness and stupidity and act in it and be a part of it. And it didn't even, so it accomplished nothing good because it made the business look like fucking, well, I don't even know if this could make the wrestling business look bad because what the fuck besides the fact that these guys were portrayed as wrestlers beforehand, there was no wrestling involved here. It's just stupid. But it, but it wasn't good at anything. thing. It wasn't a good movie.

It wasn't a good movie fight scene. It wasn't performed well because it didn't make any sense. You couldn't follow it to begin with. What the fuck was this? And then they even have Titus O'Neill. Apparently he's still there. I guess Vince got mad at him, but then we'll never fire him. Just say, I don't know what I just saw.

Duh, you think? understatement of the year, who could have thought that this was something that you should do in front of people? I'm not even talking about the fans that weren't there. I'm talking about do this type of shit and show it to the world. Why? Why?

I can't explain why. I can't explain what. You were the guy many moons ago, Brian last. when the sun comes up in the east and sets in the west many times ago. You were the one who said, watch the Firefly Fun House. This guy's really weird and bent. Well, that's not exactly what I said. I said, I think people would really like to hear your opinion of this when he first started

doing his Firehouse. Firefly Funhouse promos. And what did you think of the Vince puppet all of a sudden showing up? Oh, Cry Venn, Vince and Jesse and the fucking depub, the Muppet show fucking thing. they're in the goddamn Jesus Christ just reportedly the creative leads

on this were Bray Wyatt and Bruce Pritcher well I can believe that Bruce was involved I don't know Bray Wyatt as I've mentioned

I've never met the young man I thought he could talk his ass off in a wrestling context but I don't know what the fuck this was I don't you know now if you were worried about and I don't know if

it's the right word, how the rest of wrestling outside of WWE and even inside WWE will react going forward to something like the Boneyard match and how they'll try to copy it

and come up with new versions. What do you think when you see something like this and the effects this will have on the future of wrestling? Okay, and I've stayed off of Twitter and for the most part today, this is just taking place last night.

We're recording this on Monday. And I've watched this, show and doing this with you. So I would assume, certainly to God, doesn't everybody, I can see feedback being mixed on A.J. And Taker,

did anybody actually like this shit? Feedback is mixed on this. And that's what I was telling you earlier. There are WWE fans that will be entertained by anything. And there are also fans who at this point are so jaded with wrestling that they saw something that was really weird. And they got a kick out of it. they're not looking for wrestling to make sense anymore.

They're just looking for something they can get a kick out of. Like you said, was it a match? Did Sina actually lose? Is that the last time we'll ever see John Sina? Is this his send-off until he goes into the Hall of Fame one day? Is this the send-off of the Undertaker, Sina, and Goldberg on the same show? You sound like the guy that used to do the voiceover questions at the end of each episode of Batman. tune in next week same bat time same bat channel is this the end of the cape crusader i hope it's

the end of everybody was involved in this fucking thing from start to finish i hope the cameraman are are fired and never cameramen are fired and never come back if you did this on a wrestling program even 10 years ago it would put your company out of business and i know and now that's for everybody that was waiting for me to cut the big promos saying well this is killed the business is too late I acknowledge that. It's over with anyway. We have, that's what I said a few weeks ago.

Coincidentally, right after I announced my retirement from professional wrestling, they cancel all the shows across the world. Coincidence, I think not. But I have no interest in being involved in this shit anymore because the cause is lost and the fight is over. And when we are actually in a position where not only fans but wrestlers are debating, whether the invisible man should be booked on a card where anybody can participate

no matter what their size or age or skill or whatever and be called a professional wrestler and where even the participants put up absolutely no pretense that they're not completely full of shit and the fans think that there's nothing wrong with that this is not a fucking industry that I want to be involved in anymore

as it currently exists. The fight is over. So I can't really muster up a horrible scathing promo on how bad this was for the business at this point because the fucking business is fucking done. Whatever this is,

it ain't the wrestling business and it appeals to an ever tightening circle of fucking people who want to see silly shit. But the more that they do of this, the more they run off all those people who over 10 years ago, 15 years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, would have watched wrestling till a day they fucking died.

And now we're like, fuck it, I just, I can't take this anymore. That's where we're at. And, you know, this again goes to my point and we talked about it on the bonus drive-thru. They came out yesterday, I guess, as we're doing this, or today as we're doing this, but yesterday as the show is released, that's what makes me so mad when I saw the Friday night Smackdown Go Home thing with Bray and the Puppets and Sina. That's what gets me so mad about the Hardy Jericho stuff in AEW

because this is WWE. This is the road they're going down. So many of the idiots on the independents will copy them in terms of, hey, we can do stupid wacky shit because that's what wrestling's supposed to be because that's the way it's been since we were born. but AEW has a chance to go the other direction and present a different kind of product and I don't think they would lose viewers

or lose their fan base if they present it you know even if you take the guys like the bucks and omission but wait but here's the fly in that ointment Mr. Last the only person in a decision making capacity the only person in a power capacity the only person in a capacity can tell

people what to do and or pick talent that knows how to do that is Cody Rhodes. You give Cody way too much credit. But wait, but he knows how to do it. Does he? He signed Marco Stunt. Listen to me. Are we sure he did? But the point is he knows how to do it.

He may not do it all the time. But I didn't say he was the best in the world at it. I said he's the only one who knows how to do it of that whole group. Because ultimately the burden will come or should fight. on Tony Khan for choosing to listen to outlaw goofy indie fucking wrestlers that either thought they were a big deal in Japan or think they're a big deal because they sell t-shirts, even if their picture ain't on it, because the bullets are cool. and they the great territories run by the great promoters who were ex-wrestlers

always educated their audiences to the style of wrestling that they were best at presenting which was generally what they were best at doing in the ring which is why in Chicago for so many years and Indianapolis for so many years it was Dick the Bruiser and the Crusher

and the fucking brawl and juice on Heenan but in Florida it was was great scientific wrestling to give the fucking sport credibility and then the fight on top with the blood or the big fucking monsters and the ethnic heroes in the northeast or on and on whatever the flavor was it was always the way you educated your audience as what you were strongest at presenting and with the exception of cody roads none of them either know how to do that or have ever even tried to do that at least cody has studied what his father did his father had experience and learn from masters.

He has applied that to the matches that he's had, which is why they get over in the building or in that instant more than the other matches as far as shit that makes sense and the finish accomplishes something because he's the only one that knows how to do it at all. Whether he's the best in the world at doing that is subject to debate, but he's the only one that knows how to do that at all. Otherwise, they have an outlaw indie mindset. and that's the product that they're going to fucking give.

With a national TV slot and a billionaire's budget, they're going to give hokey shit. It's just not going to be hokey shit on the level of the hokey shit we just saw at WrestleMania. Well, again, my point is, and I'm not, I don't agree with you on Cody. I think that a lot of people give Cody a pass because of who his dad is. And I think he has a lot. He still needs to prove in terms of his wrestling smarts.

He figured I had to get over. He figured I had to latch on to things that are, over and he figured out how to get the fans to like them, but I think there's still a lot more that Cody needs to prove in terms of that. But you just made a point about it's all these outlaw indie guys there and there's really no one, unless Tony Khan puts his foot down and becomes a wrestling genius, there's no one to really stop them and push them forward. That's not the issue. The issue is guys like Jericho and Hardy, who are saying we're now here, we have free reign to do all the goofy shit we ever wanted to do. Because that Hardy segment apparently,

Jericho was the guy who wanted to do it. That was Jericho. So it's one thing worrying about, and I agree with you. You worry about, you know, the Orange Cassidy kind of stuff and the Marco stunt and any of these goofs that were just cherry picked off the Indies because they had a small following somewhere. Let's put them all together and make, you know, a fucking melting pot of bullshit. Make a big pot of burgoo of wrestlers.

But this is the problem. If WWE's doing this kind of stuff, I want a wrestling product that goes the other direction. And I think a lot of other people do too. And AEW at times has presented that. that. And you could definitely point to some of the Cody matches and say, at times it has presented a fine alternative to the WWE style of wrestling, which now permeates the independent scene as well. But it's stuff like the Jericho Hardy thing, which is on that show, which belongs on an impact, or belongs, I guess at this point, you can say it belongs in the WWE. Vince didn't want to do

the Matt Hardy stuff, but he wanted to do this stuff. But that's what gets me so mad about AEW is the fact that I want a wrestling product I can enjoy and lose myself in. And at times you get that. And everybody's going to say, well, why don't you watch New Japan? Because we don't want a bunch of fucking interchangeable Japanese guys who we cannot understand what the fuck words are coming out of their mouth doing fucking wrestling. We want Americans that we understand what their passion and emotion and reasoning is and fucking promos.

And we want to have a little fun. in the context, fun in wrestling in the context of the presentation of a bunch of wild-ass personalities having a fight. There's plenty of fun there. You don't see that in New Japan. That's drier than nun's cunt. And I like Japanese wrestling. When it's a really good Japanese match, I really like it.

I have a massive collection of Japanese videotape stilt in his day. However, I want an American-style wrestling television show and promotion that doesn't insult my intelligence. I like the idea of sports-based wrestling. I'm a massive fan of Mid-South wrestling. You can't go back to 1983 and 1984 and say, all right, well, just take everything back and do that. But you can apply the basic principles of presentation and tone of the show

to not insult the audience. And you insult the audience when you go from something treated realistic to teleportation and drones. And just like you insult your audience when you go from a firefly fun house to Brock Lesnar. All right. it's time I think there should be a special place reserved in hell in a way

for whoever came up with the idea to have both these stankers of matches at the same time but then again it did get it over twice as quick so there's that to be thought of but I said it when we heard the concept and it nothing here changed my mind.

This is one of those things where some goofy Hollywood reality show dipshit in a writer's meeting. I've seen footage of their writers meetings where they all have their little computers out in front of them and their phones and they've got ties on sitting around a fucking conference table just all

writing on their fucking computers because they're writers. And they have ties. And they have never had a goddamn one match between a bunch of them. Except for Michael Hayes, who they probably have given a lobotomy by now. I think he's the only wrestling person still there on the writing team, isn't he?

He's either gone over to the other side or you would have heard of Michael Hayes murdering some of these fucking people. But anyway, they said, oh, this will be fucking hilarious. What a concept. They have to fight from the start of Titan, the bottom of Titan Tower all the way to the top and get the blah, blah, blah. And this is the kind of shit that makes Vince's eyes light. up because they can fucking have a set and they can have special effects and a blah, blah, blah.

So this fucking stinky bullshit consisted of Lacey Evans, Nia Jacks, Carmela, Shana Basler, Dana Brooke, her entire face looks like it was remodeled after somebody set fire to it and put it out with an axe. What the fuck has happened? Did she do that on purpose or was she in a horrible accident? What the fuck? And Oskah are the women's match and AJ and Otis and Alistair and Alistairio Jr. And Daniel Bryan and the Grand Marshal of the Possum Day parade are the men.

So you literally have two of the best wrestlers in the world. three, if you count Mysterio, but definitely Daniel Brian and AJ Stiles involved with a bunch of fucking underneath guys and a bunch of fucking

preliminary women except for Shana Basler who, boy, I get her UFC training taught her well for fighting in the women's room at Titan Tower. Why did all the girls stand there to catch Aska?

on the start of it when she dove off the they were all standing there looking at her for 10 minutes and then she jumps and they catch her i'd just walk away that's the miss piggy bump from the and then she gets in the elevator and and all the girls go oh shit we got to run up the stairs no they don't there's three elevators i've been there there's three elevators side by side could have just got the next elevator but you know what since that elevator moves so slowly and since there's only four fucking floors to this building to begin with, the stairs would have been quicker. Here's a question.

Why did everyone get off the elevator and or exit the stairway at every single fucking floor? If you know you're supposed to go to the roof, why don't you just go to the fucking roof? That building has a four-story parking garage underneath it and then four floors, four levels of office. one, two, three, and four, and then the roof. You can go top to bottom in the elevator or on the stairs in under a minute. I did write that this is not worth making notes about at the start,

but then I made some because I just, you know, not any critique of any work in this because they're, to fuck. They played music underneath the alleged fighting. When Possum, you know, one of these days he's got to get fired, he can go to AEW so they can make a tag team of Possum and Pockets. When Possum threw the weight in the gym and broke the mirror, did you hear the dramatic music?

And he stood there and looked at it. Oh my God, what have I done? You idiot. You fucking buffoon. The WWE has told you people that you have to do this, that you have to have this fight, that you have to start down in the fucking gym and end up on the roof. They know you're going to break shit.

Otis put a barbell on AJ Styles and he acted like he couldn't get out from under it. So he even beats fucking balding buck on that goddamn ho hokey injury angle he did a while back so he could go home. Yeah, that was really bad. It was clear that AJ could have rolled that thing right off him at any point. Of course. And then, as we mentioned before, Ray Mysterio ran into Brother Love and the shitter. poor Bruce if he's going to do that he needs to fucking dye the hair back

because now that he's gray it just doesn't look right he looks he looks more like fucking Pat Robertson the music changes on every cameo that brother loves music then they had doinx music

then plastic face is somewhere on the second floor I believe and by the way you couldn't really tell what was what I know they have painted and carpeted since I've been there, but they were just in various places in the building, but they weren't taking a linear path to the roof. They were just fighting in various places in the building.

So I don't know what the fuck they were doing, but in some conference room, plastic face got a fake briefcase, and then Stephanie appears to tell her, hey, stupid, the real ones on the roof. I don't know who's faker. The guys are the girls. So then A.J. is looking for Ray Mysterio,

but he sees the Undertaker poster on the wall and he gets scared enough of the Undertaker poster that he stands there and looks at it for 15 seconds. Well, he's supposed to be in this fucking mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, world race to the fucking Big W to find the money, the Jimmy Durante buried under the fucking palm tree.

I feel like Stanley Kramer produced this goddamn pay-per-view. He stares at the fucking taker poster for 15 seconds and then sees a room with blue light in a coffin so he has a bone yard flashback and a j styles never used to take drugs but now the lsd is coming back on him and then alister black beats him up and then paul haman's at a buffet and he's got terrible manners and suddenly the guys and the girls run in what do you mean he is terrible matters well he picked something out of one plate and decided he didn't like it and put it back in. But then he saw the fucking, and they didn't even have like something he'd really go bonkers

over like a big Philly cheese steak. It was like a fucking catering sandwich. It just looked like a big bread roll. And he really likes that. He's, you know, he's looking at it real nice. And then here come the guys and the girls both come in from opposite sides. Otis, have I mentioned that I despise Otis and his mumbling and his goofy bullshit and the whole cartoon nature of his fiasco.

You have not. Well, I do. But at this point, Otis throws the food on Haman, which he just stands there with a look on his face and takes, he didn't do anything to run off or to pitch a fit or to whatever. He just stood there. And then that was,

I thought somehow somebody's going to, he's going to take a bump. If I had been there and been forced to be involved in that, although that would have been a stretch I would have at least taken a bump or something but anyway he gets food thrown on him they have a big food fight and one of the girls gets power bomb

through a table while they play marching music in the background then Otis goes to the cafeteria I used to I can't remember the guy's name he used to cook there but he made great double cheese burgers and he loved me coming in because I was the only one that would get a double cheeseburger with extra cheese or I'd say if give me the chick me the chick

fingers, I want extra ranch. All these other fucking twits that used to eat there were coming in, getting fucking sandwiches and salads and granola bars. So he didn't, he didn't ever have any fun cooking for anybody until I showed up. But anyway, he goes in a cafeteria, being mumbling and goofy, as I mentioned, why is John Laurenitis in a fucking hover around? Why did John Laurenitis pull up to him in a fucking motorized scooter that looks like he's a fucking 400-pound old woman at Walmart.

If that was an inside joke, I didn't get it. I have no idea. Has he recently had a, because he took a bump off the fucking horrible bump, off the pie off the scooter, but he took a bump off the scooter, so he can't have just had like leg surgery or something. But anyway, he hit John Larnitis to face with a pie.

Then Aska came through, there was a custodian mopping the floor, and Aska spazzed out at him. That's what I wrote. There's only four floors in this fucking building. Where are they all going? Daniel Bryan gets a hold to somebody and he's actually trying to make shit look good in the middle of this. I,

you know, he's way too dedicated. Then, oh, it was him and Alistair Black. I think that he was kicking a shit out of or something. But then somehow him and AJ show up in Vince's office. And they play Vince's music.

and they bust into the office fighting. I didn't see Beth. I don't know where Beth Zaza was because she doesn't let anybody in Vince's office whether they're fighting or not. But he's sitting at his computer in the back of the fucking office. They fight for a while and then he turns around and then they see him. If somebody burst into my dead quiet office having a big brawl, I'd probably, it wouldn't take me but like I would say 1.2 seconds to turn around and say,

What the fuck are you doing? But anyway, we mentioned Vince looks 100. And I just, I was like, wow, he couldn't even say, get out. He just get out. And did he stand up straight from the desk? I don't know that he stood up straight there. I'm not sure. He looked better there than he did on the Triple H 25th anniversary spectrum.

I don't know. But anyway, I just, he looks old. And, but anyway, so he kicks him out of the office every day, straightened his chairs up, they go back outside, they start casually talking about, well, I will, you were scared, no, you were scared, and then they start fighting again. So now the only two talents in this fucking whole fiasco that's worth a shit, and they pretty much just buried them as being stupid, fake, phony. Oh, I wrote this, my next note, is capital punishment legal in Connecticut? That was just something I thought I would research to see if we

could somehow penalize. Whoever thought of this shit? shit. So by the way, Vince's office is 30 feet and one flight of stairs from the roof guard. But the women got there first, even though AJ and fucking Daniel Bryan were approximately 44 feet away. So Nia Jacks picks up one of those girls and was, pressed her over her head, but lost her and fucking dropped her and then tried to throw her out the ring but the girl wasn't ready and she's just kind of it looked like she's tossing a mark out in Tulsa um and I wrote all these people taking all these chances of getting

hurt bad for this fucking shit that will be laughed at for years to come and remembered as the worst thing ever in wrestling until next week probably um I pontificated that I don't know whether I hate the music worse or oscar's incessant screeching now by the way now that when they got in the ring, having no announcers was a sounded especially stupid. Then I started to fucking fast forward because I was going to

skip the rest of the girl shit. But the possum king showed up. So I thought I'd watch this and he climbs a ladder and the Oscar knocks him off. Oscar beat the possum king to win the women's money in the bank match. She knocked him off the ladder and got the fucking case. So if, if, if anybody could be

buried any deeper. Possum King right now is looking up at the treasure at the bottom of the money pit because a woman just beat him for the woman's money in the bank briefcase. Then the announcers come in and celebrate Oscar's win of a quote world title opportunity because Vince doesn't like the word shot, although somebody should be shot for this. then Otis showed up and couldn't figure out how to climb the ladder

I believed this the first time all night I believed in anything that Otis or any of the rest of these idiots did was when he couldn't figure out how to climb a ladder and then it was a nice touch when he tried to broke the steps except the problem is that everybody knows those goddamn aluminum ladders the steps don't break even if you're 350 fucking pounds so that was phony too

then I wrote I hate Otis again, exclamation point, just to make sure that everybody knew. Then the possum king threw Ray Mysterio and Alistair Black off the roof. We've said somebody was going to take a bump off the roof. I guess they're, are they dead now? I don't know. AJ Styles returned from being buried just recently. Well, but that was in a movie.

This was a match. This was a match for the, for the, for a WWE title opportunity. So if they get thrown off the roof and die, they may really be dead. Is there a window cleaner at Titan Tower? Is there a potential that one of them landed on that? A window cage? One of them landed on him, possibly?

Yeah, you know what? You know what? They ought to open fucking raw or they should have open. They ought to open raw tonight with a fucking last night graphic and a fucking zoom from a shot of the street with their goddamn. fucking AJ and Daniel Brian both, or not AJ and Daniel Brian, but Ray Mysterio and Alistair Black both hanging off a goddamn window washer's fucking scaffolding, but one of them that's around their neck and the other one their foot's tied in it. Help, get us down.

See, if you're going to do shit, then do shit. Because this stuff was supposed to be funny and it wasn't. And it was supposed to be wrestling and it wasn't. And it was supposed to be entertaining and it wasn't. So at least do something. But anyway. as I mentioned I felt bad for AJ and Daniel Bryan are having to lower themselves to be involved in this

this is the kind of thing in the old days when there was someplace else to go the guys would have heard this and say yeah okay I'm just going to go to the car and get my bag I'll see you lad and you wouldn't never see him again and then finally AJ and possum got the case but Elias from nowhere who wasn't in this match but was hiding apparently in Titan Tower all this time for just such such this opportunity jumped the ring and hit Possum with the guitar but AJ fumbled the case and guess who caught it why you don't have to guess because you were there

I saw it I was waiting I didn't know if you wanted me to actually jump in but your favorite wrestler in this match got it Otis Otis is the wouldn't you know who won the pony Otis my boy Otis won the pony so now Otis has a world title opportunity at an important

WWE championship hold on one second I don't know if I can tear this many pages at the same no no don't rip it no fuck these fucking people this is what's gonna the pandemic isn't going to kill

the thing it's going to kill is wrestling. It ain't going to kill 50 million people around the world. It's just going to finish off wrestling because they've been looking for excuses to do this fucking shit for a long time now. And they got guys that are veterans. Some of them just with a ridiculous need to be on television or some of them just can't handle their money

and just have to have a check and just are hoos for a paycheck, have no principles and no standards. and you got guys that don't know any better because they've been fucking taught that this kind of shit is okay because they're all entertainers, they're not wrestlers and they're actors and television performers

and you have just enough fucking people that are scared to not be with the times and to be left behind because they don't learn and evolve just enough of those small-minded, gutless, wimpy, and individuals to have sanction this kind of shit

because they're afraid the cool kids won't like them that people think that this is okay now and that this is what wrestling should be or that whatever they're doing over on T&T is what wrestling is supposed to be and there's no problem with this and this is not insulting or offensive or stupid this is what we get

this is what we get and by the time that there's fans allowed back in the arenas after they've seen shit like this, we won't really be able to tell. There'll be people there. There'll be people there going to look at stupid people doing stupid shit. There won't be any wrestling fans in the building anymore because there won't be more wrestling.

There barely is now anyway. A bunch of these fucking goofs that watch Tosh Point O or jackass or stupid videos and think that wrestling is supposed to be a bunch of stupid people doing stupid shit that you're not supposed to take seriously. So the pandemic will do what all these other assholes, the wrestling artists and the doll wrestlers and the dick boys and the fucking invisible men and the fucking Hollywood producers

of the WWW and all the rest of them that want to be anything other than what they are supposed to be, which is wrestling and wrestlers. They've started it, the pandemic's going to finish it. the time that this whole thing is over, they'll say, well, we can just do all this. It's more fun. And wrestling is done officially. Here, I need something else to fucking tear. Were you happy that the Elias Baron Corbyn feud apparently has continued since WrestleMania?

Oh, I don't know what I could have done without fucking knowledge that they're going to continue their epic rivalry to only outshown by Bobo Brazil and the Sheik in terms of longevity. and violence and hatred. Elias and Possum. All right. That was money in the bank. Yeah. After money in the bank, there was a documentary about The Undertaker. Well, I'm looking forward.

Not on the channel I watched, but I'm going to be watching that on the WWE network and we're going to talk about that on the experience because I've heard it's quite good and I've loved me some Undertaker. But no, I got the pay-per-view. So I could watch this on real television. because as you recall, the only place that I cannot get the WWE network is in my TV room on my TV because it's supposedly too old, fucking nine years old. I've had underwear longer than that.

But anyway, so I didn't see The Undertaker. I will watch that by the experience. But no, as soon as this thing was over with and not a moment too soon, it said, thank you for getting this pay-per-view event and I deleted it immediately. Speaking of getting in the way, should we talk about the raw tag team championship between the street profits and the Viking Raiders? This is the bone of contention that everybody wanted me to see and talk about. Have I gone far enough into this now that you could put this on YouTube and I can start using cuss words? Well, we will find out.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Fuck this whole fucking thing. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I was watching. I don't know why this happened. I don't know why it was aired. I have no words to describe it. I don't know why that everybody involved in it

didn't immediately tender their resignation and walk the fuck out. You know what? Because the street prophet, I used to like the Viking Raiders. Not the fucking gimmick. but the goddamn guys fuck them too if I ever see them again I'll tell them in person fuck you

for being involved in this I have never needed a goddamn job I've never needed money so bad I've never had so lack of self-respect or respect for my profession that I would have not walked I've walked out on a lot less than this

and I think they ought to be ashamed of themselves I think whoever pitched this idea should not only be fired, but potentially beaten up in an alleyway somewhere by fucking street thugs that are hired at a later date. If anybody had suggested that this was a good idea for me to do in a promotion that I ran, I would not only have fired them, I would physically attack them. I don't know if it was my company and I had a choice of airing this or airing nothing,

I would air Mighty Mouse reruns. it's got to the point now when they can make AEW look like the more fucking reputable organization with all of the WWE's resources and the talent

that they have on the roster and the talent that they have in the production studio and the talent that they have or just the the high price talent that they have that they would allow something like this on their program shows that nobody that knows what the fuck they're doing is either in charge or can stand up to vince

or has the backbone or the balls or the guts or the scruples to fucking walk out over goddamn principles. And I hate everybody involved in this and I never want to see any of them again personally or professionally. Why would you even do so? It wasn't even funny fake. It wasn't even entertaining fake. It was silly fake and stupid fake.

And they all ought to be ashamed to themselves. And as a matter of fact, if I'd have been Randy Orton and Edge, I would have gone up to all these guys and including the agents, including the creative team, and I'd have slapped them all in a fucking face. Because they pissed all over Randy Orton Edge. After I watched most of this match, after I started fast forwarding to see when it would end,

and finally when I did fucking fast forward to the one point they were in a dumpster and that was so fucking fitting I said if that ain't the finish it ought to be you ought to put garbage in a dumpster and close the fucking lid I got out of it there I had to stop watching the show

I wanted to see Randy Orton an edge I wanted to see how they lived up to their billing and or just as I've always liked Edge Orton's a fucking premier worker that was something I was looking forward to watching and after this fucking thing. I turned the goddamn thing off and I had to go away from it and walked around for

about an hour and did other things. And the only reason I came back to it and watched Orton Edge was because, well, two reasons. Number one, I didn't want to waste that much time on the rest of this fucking stinker just to not see the only good thing on it. And secondly, I knew people were going to be waiting for it and I wanted to be able to at least say something positive about somebody. But if it hadn't been my profession and what I, I'm supposed to be doing for the program, I would have never come back to this fucking show or watched any of the rest of it again after this fucking horse shit. Fuck you, street profits, whoever the fuck you are.

I've never met you. Fuck you Viking Raiders. I know you took the shitty gimmick because you got a job. But doing this, fuck you. Drive a fucking truck. Motherfuckers. If Bruce Pritchard had anything to do with this, I hope Paul Bosch reanimates from the grave and sodomizes him, just fucks him until his soul leaves his fucking body.

Fuck you, Bruce. Anybody else? Can you think of anybody else that we can directly implicate in this before I talk anything about the details? Vince McMahon. Well, Vince McMahon is obviously, we now have proof that he's insane, has lost his mind and is senile, and is babbling and fucking spilling his goddamn oatmeal all over his fucking lap.

the Vince McMahon I knew would have never let a bunch of all the things that he even did in the 80s and 90s something as amateurish and stupid and silly as this they start out fighting in a parking lot but then because they break Braun Stromens windshield they all four runoff scared the tag team champions and their challengers all four of them are scared of one guy so already I knew the guys were jabronies in the thing to begin with then they've

then they're fighting in the back of the arena with marching music. Then they have a face off with golf clubs and axes and a bowling ball. I'm not kidding. But then they decide they shouldn't use those things. So they talk it over, put them all down and then start fighting again. Here's how stupid they all are. They were laying shit in, trying to make their work look good while they were being obviously phony on purpose.

I guarantee you, I've never complained. Well, I've complained a few times to my boys, but never to the opposite side, really. But I'd never complained about guys laying shit in to make shit look good if they weren't reckless. But I would complain along and loud of a motherfucker laying something in to make it look good while we were doing something. It was so obviously phony we could never make anybody believe it was real to begin with. Then I don't care whether your work looks like the shits. don't fucking hit me hard trying to convince people

when we're doing something they can't be convinced over that's fucking stupid then they were eating turkey legs then they got knocked through a glass door a Viking flashed back to a bowling a game of bowling and we could see the fucking flashbacks in the guy's mind and then he threw the bowling ball into the street profits nuts here's what I wrote verbatim I hate all four of these guys I hate whoever told him to do this

I hate the idea of this I'm not sure if it was a flashback or a dream sequence whatever it was they should have sent out the fucking LSD so that we'd all be on the same page then we might not have minded it ninjas on motorcycles showed up what was the meaning of the ninjas on the motorcycles. Has something been done with a team of ninjas on a motorcycles that this is referring to? Or they just, they just showed up and interrupted the fucking fight. I believe this may have been the debut of the ninjas on motorcycles.

I don't know anything about it. And I wrote, well, the WWE is now the biggest garbage wrestling promotion in the world. It's made football field fuckery look like Fez versus Rogers. So then the Vikings and the profits join up to fight the motorcycle ninja. and they go through a quick series of clips of goofy spots so I started fast forwarding to see what it would fucking end I stopped they were fighting again when I left they were to joined up teamed fighting the motorcycle ninjas but then they were fighting each other again and then I fast forwarded some more and then they knocked each other

off a goddamn fucking semi-trailer truck and I fast forward a little bit more and they were all laying in the dumpster. And that's where I just turned the show off and walked away from it. And the virus, as I said before, and you go back, what a month or so ago, I said, the virus is going to be what kills wrestling. Because now that they've been forced to try to be creative, they're doing this shit and they're getting a tickle out of it and they like it, so they're going to do more of it. And it's going to get worse and worse.

I don't know how it can be worse than this. I could actually smell my computer monitor from watching this on the network. But it's this, the virus has killed wrestling. They're either going to computer generate the shit or they're going to do more movies or cinematic approaches. I'd like to give you a cinematic approach of a fucking John Holmes movie and sploge right in your fucking eye, Kevin Dunn and all the rest of you.

And this is what they're going to be doing. and it's it and by the year of this and nobody will ever want to watch anything that's called wrestling ever again i'd like to say a positive comment uh like you i hated the stadium stampede match with a e w i thought it was an embarrassment i thought it was a joke thought it was bad comedy put together that was acceptable by the dwindling wrestling audience but by and large people who like professional wrestling or comedy would realize how stupid it was. But if I could say a positive about that match, at least Bruce Pritchard and Vince McMahon weren't involved in it.

Because now you're seeing, you know, I've said how AEW is those guys, their version of WWE wrestling. It's not sports-based wrestling. It's not a modern take on Mid-South wrestling. It's not a modern take on Nitro. At this point, it is their version of WWE wrestling. And this was WWE's version of the AEW cinematic match. By the way, there's a way to do it.

I mean, that's the thing. The next match on the show was a cinematic match. It was a match with various elements from crowd noise to Howard Finkel being reanimated to cuts in the match, like elements of the match that were put together in post-production. That's a way you could do it. at least it's not insulting. But this shit, I don't know what this one. I mean, you missed another dream sequence.

You missed so much. Yeah, I would have missed, I would have missed wrestling for the rest of my life if I'd have seen any more of this. I was disgusted by the whole, I was repulsed by it. I understand being really mad at the production team and whoever was the agent and whoever came up with it and the head of creative and Vince McMahon. These four guys in the match are four guys with their first real chance. to make some money. I don't give a fuck them.

Fuck them. Have some fucking balls, some fucking principles. Go out and make a goddamn idiot out of yourself on national TV and shit all over the wrestling business. Fuck them. I've walked out for less. And adjusting my fucking WCW contract for inflation, probably on around the same amount of money. I don't give a fuck. Fuck everybody had anything to do with this. Fuck anybody that liked it. I'll slap you. How about that?

Fucking tell me if man, woman or child, eight to 80, blind, crippled or crazy, if you can't walk, I'll drag you. You tell me you like this, I want to slap the fuck out of you. This was bad. This was pretty bad. And I was so upset when I finally sat down

and then watched the worthwhile match on this fiasco, I was more insulted and offended and upset for Randy Orton and Edge. And now we found out Edge, tore his fucking tricep he's going to be out for a while they go out there and fucking put on a clinic have the closest thing you can have to a masterpiece in this day and age and wrestling fucking work their asses off and edge gets hurt and is going to have to have surgery and it was all for naught because nobody could take a goddamn bit of it seriously because they had just seen the whole business mocked and made a joke of by a bunch of fucking underd

twats that shouldn't be in a fucking ring. And they weren't a ring. They did the whole VTR package about this blood feud they've got going on with absolutely nothing in it to make me believe that anybody is really mad or ever has been, especially with the way they've got Seth Rollins doing this blaze delivery of badly scripted verbiage that they give these guys. And I don't know why everybody's so calm. and soft spoken when they're talking,

I'm going to gou your eyeball out. Well, I'll, I'll come back and pull your nuts off. And I'll, I'll stick them down your trachea until your testicles lull out your fucking dickhead. I dare you.

What the fuck? And they actually had the ring announcer. I said it, I sounded like that Hannibal guy then. Ooh, and what else did he do then? Oh, tell me.

Oh, tell me about the wrestling. I saw on Wikipedia, you were managed. manager. Yes, somebody said that so-and-so said bad things about you. What do you think about that? Anyway.

By the way, he is the worst. Let me just throw that in. Well, I think how much ground that covers. There's always somebody out there that may be worse. We just hadn't found him yet. Anyway, the actually had the ring announcer announce as part of the stipulation. The only way to win is to extract one of your opponent's eyes. All right, we've talked about it's been so fucking stupid from the time that they announced this,

and everybody laughs at it, and nobody believed it. And, you know, but there was some element of discussion and or wonderment or bewilderment, how they're going to do this, right? That was like, it's like, it's like two dogs fucking. They have taken what I described about shitstain's booking from years ago and just now apply it to everything. We don't give a fuck what happens. We just want to see how they're going to do it.

We don't care about any of these people, and we certainly don't believe that any of this is in any way legitimate or even that there could be some ill will between these guys like a Brett Harder or Sean Michaels that would lead somebody to go into business for themselves. It's just a bunch of bullshit to laugh at. So how are they going to do this? I was even interested. How are they going to do this?

One guy going to walk around with no eyeball in his head for the rest of his life. you even made mention, well, it didn't say it had to be detached. But, you know, when you extract one of your opponent's eyes, that kind of is a bait and switch if it could still be attached by the optic nerve. And certainly, a fine, upstanding publicly traded company like the WWE is not going to bait and switch anybody. So this is going to be good, right? Yeah. And I was right, by the way. You don't have to detach it.

It just had to be extracted. Well. Turns out I was right on the situation. No, I'll extract you. No, nothing got extracted except money out of people's wallets for this fucking. As soon as Seth Rollins on his way to the ring, he pulls a pair of pliers out of his jacket. Did anybody notice that these are goddamn big, like channel lock pliers you would change giant bolts with? He needed needle nose pliers for a fucking eyeball.

Every eyeball I've ever pulled out with a pair of pliers, I had to use needle nose, because you can't get in a fucking socket with those bits. That was the first thing right off. there right off the bath that tip me off at this was phony. Then Ray, I love the old deal where if a baby face has been so wronged by a heel and is so mad that he hits the ring from behind and starts wailing on the fucking heel. Ray came in behind Seth and waited for him to turn around.

And then he just, and then they jump started 100 miles an hour. And I, at that point, I wrote what's left to do after the fucking table match. Well, I found out later on some more table shit because, you know, if any world champion before 1990 fucking won, if you had done a spot, any kind of spot with a table, when they were going to use a table in their match,

you would have heard about it, potentially while a leg of that table was being whacked over your fucking head. Um, random observations. When, when Ray Mysterio flies, at least he flies like a wrestler and not a gymnast. I thought he was really moving good. He's had the knee problems and everything, but he looks like an athlete. Even though he, and the height differential is so, because Seth is what, six, three or four or whatever. So it, it looked good there because the baby face was fucking smaller.

But then, Ray gets a toolbox It comes out with a piece of rebar And Seth Rollins get a Kendo stick I know why the toolbox is under the ring Why is the Kendo stick under the ring? Because it makes a good noise Every ring crew needs a Kendo stick

To put the ring up with Once again, ECW ECW Yeah, or any Japanese wrestler Of the fucking 60s, 70s, and 80s Tojo Yamamoto had a Kendo stick when he managed Fucci and Oneida. I'll let that slide.

But why is it under the fucking ring? Do you remember why the Sandman and ECW started coming out with the Kendo Stick? I always assumed because they were marks and liked to hit each other for fucking real, that they could do that with the Kendo stick, and it would only hurt you some instead of ridiculously. I think it was actually originally a pretty topical thing. Remember there was, was his name? Oh, whoa, whoa.

The Singapore, the guy that got Singapore cane. That's right. Some asshole teenager in Singapore, American teenager was in Singapore and shoplifted some or some minor stupid offense. And they fucking cane him because it's in Singapore. And that's what they do. And so Polly took off with that.

But it's, once again, nobody remembers that now. We had to think about it for a minute. So why is there a Kendo stick involved in professional wrestling? nobody explains these things as a matter of fact somebody says several people on twitter said well the end of nxte the other night uh scarlet brought the bag containing the pieces of the hourglass that keith lee himself had broken

okay then instead of laying out like it was some dramatic broadway stage production that's when your professional announcers should have said when she dumped it out my god that's the hourglass that she had herself been timing adam cole's rain that keith broke. Holy shit. That's all it takes. Anyway, with Ray Mysterio and Seth Rylins, when wrestling spots broke out,

they performed them at a high level. Then they'd either go back out to the floor, go back to all the gimmicks, and it looks like what everybody else does because that's everything that everybody else does these days. And when somebody,

I'm sorry, even in no DQ matches, I learned early on from the veterans. When the heels are getting heat and the no-d-Q matches, they should still try to cheat behind the referee's back because visually and subliminally, subliminally for the people,

when somebody is trying to gouge another guy's eye out and the referee's just standing there and staring at it because that's the stipulation of the match, it gets no heat and it just looks stupid. But when somebody's trying to gouge somebody else's eyeball out and the referee's trying to pull them off and doing something about it, there's a sense of urgency, then that gets some heat and or

if the heel is cheating behind the referee's back, even in a no-d-Q match, that gets more heat. Because there's just something about the way the fans are looking at the referee looking right at it or nobody trying to help anybody or whatever. The veterans told me this. I've always told everybody I've trained this. Apparently, nobody up there listens these things. every time the announcers acted like an eye was really going to come out,

it killed it and it killed them. And they're having to, they're not even, if ever there was a stipulation that you might have to wink at verbally or with a tone in your voice, and they were playing it overly straight. Like that they're convinced somebody is going to get their eye pulled out. And as we've mentioned, unless it was a bar fight involving Bill Watts,

I don't think so. um and by the way i thought it was a little ridiculous them going back to doing spots just regular wrestling spot match where the whole goal is to extract the eye you don't need to do an irish whip at that point my next note was this went forever great wrestling spots then they just kept going back to the weapons and the eyes and it just and it just and it just a mysterio broke kendo stick and tried to magnum t a and tully set ralans but it didn't have nearly the anything to it. Then Mysterio Milk's Seth Rollins' eye into the corner of the stairs.

I know it's because they did it on television in their previous angle and the angle of Dominic and et cetera, but can you come up with a more awkward way to put somebody's eye out than to push their face into the corner of a set of steel steps that's so fucking huge that they can literally place their hands on them and fucking push themselves away from them. It's not like you're using a stick or you fucking finger or whatever.

It's just so awkward. But at this point, they promised that we'd have nightmares after watching this show, and I'm going to. They were right. If I can ever go to sleep again, I'm going to have horrible fucking nightmares.

So then, finally, Seth Rawlins, and I'm not making, making us up for the many of you out there who I hope did not have to watch this idiocy. Seth Rollins pushes Ray Mysterio's eye into the corner of the stairs as hard as he can, apparently. But did you notice when he let go, Ray's face, he still held it there. It was like he was impaled or stuck on some kind of nail that was next to the stairs because

Seth lets go of him and he doesn't recoil in fucking. pain or freedom or whatever. He just leaves his face leaned in where you can't see the corner of the stare in the eye as you can't see it. But Seth Rollins comes to attack him again, looks down, has a horrified look on his face,

backs up and pukes, starts puking at what he has seen. And once I saw what he's seen, I started puking too. And by the way, I did see that actually happen one time for real. That match, me, Adrian Street and Miss Linda in a lumberjack strap match against Bill Dundee in the Cook Convention Center in Memphis, Tennessee. Dundee throws me so hard out of the ring. I fucking bashed my face in the goddamn apron of the ring on the way down.

Busted me open from the cheekbone out. I'm spurting blood about a foot and a half, two feet out from my face. Terry Taylor is one of the lumberjacks with the straps. comes over to whip me and draws back and looks at my face and gets that queasy look and just turns and walks away from me. That's what I knew I was hurt. So it can't happen. However, he didn't vomit. What you see then when you go to the shot of Ray Mysterio was Ray on his back with his hand over his eye.

And you could tell this, I freeze framed mine. somebody did a better close-up and put it on Twitter of the freeze frame of the hand over the eye when we were talking about this how are they going to do this how are they going to CGI computer generated

that's the thing cinematic I was expecting something special effects some Tom Savini bullshit right yeah you know what we got he's got his hand over his face he's holding a fucking ping pong ball they drew on with a red sharpie a ping pong ball they drew on with a red sharpie a ping pong ball the wwee the worldwide leader in sports entertainment

the cinematic match masters a ping pong ball and a red sharpie and you didn't see it obviously they didn't want you to see it after they saw what it looked like i saw that on the internet vince ixnade the big reveal shot i wonder why i've seen better special effects and fucking oh my god i had people sending me that clip from friday to 13th part three where the guy's head gets squished by jason and his eyeball pops out i'm thinking i hear cg i'm thinking okay you know what i'm not really into the this, but maybe they're going to do something so fantastical that I'll sit up. I'll be like, wow, that was something different.

This was the most anticlimactic ending to such a garbage gimmick I've ever seen. There was not blood gushing. There was his hand over his face and you could see between his fingers on the one freeze frame, the ping pong ball with the red sharpie drawn on it. And then medical personnel come out with a towel. It's like we used to burn somebody They'd come out and they'd throw a towel over your head Like that's what you do with a burn victim right

But it kept people from seeing it The guy may not be burned But in this case Yeah okay let's let's Let's say that this guy's eyeball is now hanging Out on his cheek Disembodied from his fucking face And the doctors come out and put a towel on it

And one of the doctors is keep some pressure on it put pressure on a popped out eyeball? What would that fucking feel like? You fucking morons! And then they took him to, guess where a medical facility where the ocular reattachment may have taken. But the fake doctors with the towel over his disembodied eye, keep pressure on it on the popped out eyeball or the popped out ping pong ball.

I've seen a video where somebody popped out some ping pong balls and it was more entertaining than this, I'll tell you that right now. And that was it. And fucking Seth is over there fucking vomiting his cream of wheat. Vince loves vomit. He's gonna, he's gonna. Yeah, what is that?

Why does Vince have a thing that's like vomit and defecation and farts and urine? And, yeah, what is that? It just because it's South Park. You can take the boy out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the boy, I'll tell you. And then later on, the boy comes back and buys the trailer park. It's funny, too. We don't know if this eye reattachment will take.

If Ray signs his contract, his eye will be magically reattached. If he doesn't, he's going to show up on AEW with two eyes. So it's just so stupid. hi yeah so you know these guys could have a great wrestling match this obviously was not it because once again not because of the talent but because the stupidity of the creative team the writers Vince himself whoever's fucking behind this whoever thought this was a good idea whoever thought that this unless Vince came up with the whole thing himself and several people resigned of you know in like a wrestling version of the Saturday night massacre before Vince got to somebody that would carry it out. This is just ridiculous. So there you have it. And I for an, and we're not even done yet.

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a goddamn bowel movement for this show. That's about what it's worth. All right, you can get mad at me a little bit on this one. I'm going to tell you when I left it, when they lost me. The swamp fight match closed this sad chapter in American wrestling history. Bray Wyatt and Braun Strowman and Corey Graves's pitch to this match, I think, summed up the whole thing. He actually said, and I quote, the question on everyone's mind, what sort of unforeseen terror is lurking beneath the surface of the brackish waters? That was on everyone's mind.

and you know if this was a universal international picture from 1957 um or a possibly a william castle production from the 60s maybe we you know maybe they could have even had had like a fucking tingler thing on our seats wired to our seats where every time that the fucking you know you saw a snake in the swamp you felt something bites you or whatever that'd be a william castle fucking gimmick because they're what anything to do with wrestling and this it's movies they all they're frustrated fucking movie actors movie writers movie producers and now we know why they're frustrated because they're not any fucking good at it so it opens with bray white and a rocker rocking in the middle of swamp when

braun strollman pulls up in his SUV and i hope it's not a rental because it voids your insurance if you're driving in the swamp at least it hurts braun strowman says i'm home and then the lights go out the lights go out in a swamp that happens to me all the time whenever i go down to the swamp the lights went out and when the lights came back on bray wyatt had disappeared and right then i was going to invoke the teleportation rule but i thought okay i'm not going to because first off we're not supposed to take this seriously this is wrestling supposed to be silly and fun and secondly he didn't actually teleport the lights were out he have gotten up and walked off. We'll just discuss the loophole of how the lights got turned off in a swamp at a later date.

So then they start the spooky music and the movie fight. And during them fighting, it cut to a clip of Bray Wyatt in the fun house cheering Braun Stromen on while Bray Wyatt was fighting Braun Strowman in the swamp. And then Braun Strowman, I'm not making this up, ladies gentlemen. once he am I lying about any of this no you're telling the truth about exactly what sort of garbage we saw okay bronze stroman gets hit from behind by a shovel and goes down and looks up and he sees who hit him brian you don't have to guess because you saw it but just for the sake of me saying this for the people that may not have seen this fucking four finger stinker this goddamn back alley abortion of a wrestling program who hit brawn stroman guess who hit Braun-Stromen folks I'll tell you who hit Braun-Stromen he

looks up and sees Braun-Stromen with the shovel because of he's a mental goddamn case I don't know why because and right then I couldn't find the remote and I got to see that Braun-Stromen woke up after being knocked out with the shovel chained to a chair in a cabin or as New Jack once said, Chained in the bowels of a slave ship. Braun Strowman was chained to a chair in a log cabin, and that's when I said, I'm done. Fuck these guys, fuck these alleged writers,

fuck this whole company. This would have made me a shame to ever be a part of wrestling, but this isn't wrestling. So I'm not ashamed to have ever been a part of wrestling. I would have been ashamed to ever be a part of wrestling. I would have been ashamed to ever be a part of whatever the fuck these people just did. And they should be ashamed to call themselves wrestlers. But it didn't make me ashamed of wrestling because there was no aspect of wrestling involved in this.

If Vince likes it, he needs to take that cognitive test that old fucking president pig shit is taken, where he can identify the elephant from the donkey. or if Bruce was in favor of this, I think he's been to rehab before. Somebody needs to check and see if Bruce is falling off the wagon. Or potentially, it may be that, you know, he's had bad health. Maybe he's on some kind of heart medicine that's, that's causing him to have psychotic episodes.

Maybe he's on that hydrochloroquine. Braun Stromen, I'm pretty sure we've established. as a fucking idiot and would have never made it 15 minutes in the real wrestling business because he'd understand how it worked or how it's supposed to work Bray Wyatt I think I'm the most disappointed in of all of them because as I mentioned before blackjack Mulligan I only met him a few times but from what Rick Flair and other people have told me about him he would be spinning in his grave right now at the thought of his business being portrayed

in this way. So what else happened after he was chained in the cabin and I said, fuck this, I'm done. Was there anything else of note? Of note, that's, it's hard to say. At some point, a guy came out and attacked Braun Stroman after he got out of the chair. Don't know who the guy is, but then he was lit on fire and he ran off on flames. Wait, but Braun Strowman or the guy that, no, the stuntman that they hired to be a generic like Ray Wyatt disciple. And then-

And then- Off in flames. I gotta be honest, I didn't turn it off like you did, but I just stopped caring and stop paying close attention. So every now and then I would look up the end of the pay-per-view had Braunstroming, I don't know if it was a raft or a little boat, but he's on the water and the little credits come up, you know, copyright, World Wrestling Entertainment or whatever. They didn't do the goddamn Friday the 13th.

body out of the fucking water. Oh, that's exactly what they. That's exactly what they did. Fucking hell. And then Bray Wyatt jumped out of the water, pulling him into the water, and then the water all went red. And so did their ink. And so did their ink as soon as they aired this. And people started canceling their network subscriptions. Fuck.

So that was that. An eye for an eye. I think we've put to bed now or put to rest any accusations that have been. cast our way that we favor the WWF over AEW when in actuality, neither one of them worth a fucking shit. Neither one of them are worth a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. I will tell you this. I find AEW.

And again, I killed them this past week. I hated that show on Wednesday night last week. They are much less offensive than WWE to a wrestling fan. Well, okay. the way you phrase that, I will agree with that. Because AEW is still more offensive to me as a wrestling professional because of the, I can't say the word talent,

because the individuals that they put on national television that are so woefully not ready and looks so outlaw and do such goofy shit, it offends me more as a wrestling professional, but I can see where to just an average, fan it might be easier to watch just because you can you can laugh at it more instead of just shaking your head i shook my head more i didn't laugh at anything on this show it was all just stupid and what was supposed to be funny wasn't funny and it was offensive with the eye thing and the whole nine yards just just cheating people promising them something you didn't deliver

but nothing's silly or just completely obviously that they do obviously phony shit but they act like they mean it i don't know which is worse the guys that are doing obviously phony stupid shit and i can like trying to act like they mean it or the guys on the other channel doing the obviously phony shit and laughing while they're doing it because nobody takes it seriously to begin with i i pick it i don't fucking know this i think this is worse this is much worse the eye for the eye the swamp fight deciding she's the referee and the title seemingly, or at least her friend wins. I didn't even remember if there was a title on the line in that match. The other match had a title.

Oh, no, there was a title on the line in every match. There was a title on the line in the MVP match. Guy didn't show up, so MVP just walked off with the belt. This is a whole show was a train wreck. And it is another piece of evidence that Vince McMahon is shot and that Bruce Pritchard is there just to enable this shot old man. to continue to stay on top of this company where everyone in the company or out of the company knows the best thing for the WWE right now would be new management because the ratings are down there's nothing they could point to as a metric

that says you know what Vince is doing a good job there's nothing and in terms of you know you can't base wrestling on critical acclaim because people who are smart fans sometimes like things that work Sometimes they dislike things at work, but this is just... That's why whenever you see a smart fan that suddenly gets his own company, he gets to book, that's why you get some of the things you get. That's right. But this is garbage.

This is complete and utter garbage. And I don't know how anyone could like it. I don't know how anyone could support it. If it wasn't a business expense for me, I wouldn't have the WWN network and I wouldn't watch any of this crap. You know what? I don't even write it off because I'm so ashamed. to let anybody know I actually have it.

It's awful. Just awful. Awful. What a brain trust they have up there. I thought you were going to try to make me feel better. You make me feel worse. The fact that AEW can be a better professional wrestling program than anything ought to right there tell you we might as well just fold our fucking tent.

Might as well just pack it up and go home. Nobody's even trying anymore. But more shareholders need to get upset at the way WWE is being run. More shareholders need to speak out and tank that stock for the message to get through. Shameful. Just awful, awful television.

By the way, their ratings are in the toilet. There's a reason for that. It's not just COVID-19. It's some of the worst television anyone has ever produced, not just for wrestling, but for television. And even if you want to do some weird cinematic David Lynch style wrestling match, if this is the best you can come up with. Because you know what the Undertaker AJ match? Not my thing. But that was done well for what it was. It worked for what it was and because of who was involved. And this swamp thing was the second.

two-pollow concession stand brawl a year later that yielded very little in the way of results it was the second worst swamp thing i've ever seen god damn that the first one wasn't too fucking good that swamp thing anyway that's exactly right awful just awful i apologize at e w for killing them so hard last week the show still sucked but this this was a whole new level of suck, the likes of which hopefully we never see again, but we will because it's Vince McMahon and his toady, Bruce Pritchard, running a creative team that produces shit like this because this is what they think Vince wants. Awful.

Garb. But now, but now will AEW take the challenge? Will it, will it take the hand off of the baton and say, no, just like Vince said last week. Oh, no, no, no way, pal. I can top this. Will they find a way to top this and be even stinkier and rottener? We'll have to find out. We'll have to find out.

We'll see if Chris Jericho has any more creative input. That may steer that one direction or another. Hello again, friends. And you are our friends. The great Brian last here. You there. We are here with a YouTube exclusive. Of course, we said that we are taking a couple weeks off.

We have a couple omnibus collections. We have a brand new drive-thru next week, and we said we would only be doing special reports if anyone did anything stupid in the world of professional wrestling. Well, it took a day, and it has happened. Not even a day! And, of course, here he is, the man who will be lending his insight to this inferno of a review, Mr. Jim Cornett. Explain, Brian Ladd, to the people. To the people explain fully that, that... Not only did we say that unless someone does something incredibly stupid, magnificently ignorant,

preposterously brainless, without a modicum, a minuscule amount of thought, or good intention, something on a biblical scale of wretchedness. and then we were going to do a broken news report on you because it would be timely, but otherwise we were going to have a nice little break with all of our things already taped up and planned it. And it did not only did it not take a day, it actually happened, what, three hours, four hours maybe,

after those words were emitted, uttered, propelled from our chicken lips. Well, you know, on Twitter, on Sunday, all throughout the day, people kept asking, are you guys going to review tables, ladders, and chairs, TLC, the pay-per-view event by WWE. Will you be reviewing it? Will the drive-thru be delayed a day because of the review? And finally, I had to say, we will not be reviewing this event.

And people were writing all throughout the event. Oh, this match was good. I really wish Jim would have talked about this. Jim would have liked this. And then the main event happened. And then all of a sudden the correspondence we were receiving change. It became... The tone shifted a bit.

The worm, as they say, head turned. That's right. People are saying, Jim will lose his mind if he watches this. I got to hear what he'll say. And here we are. We have listened to the people. So you're trying to play this off on the demand of the people when an Azure... you called me, Brian left from your chicken lips, though as soon as I answered the phone,

hello, thinking it's just going to be a personal call because we have a day off. You say, well, somebody did something stupid. This is true. You must admit, before we even talk about what you thought of this, you must admit that this is the level of stupid that warrants a breaking news report. A broken news report. Yeah. No, this is a broken news report.

report. This news, this news didn't break. It was already broken when people found out about it. When they saw it happen, it was already broken that this got by multiple people, multiple alleged brains. And I'm, of course, obviously we must blame part of this on the, the creative, I can't say call them comedy writers now. Usually it's the comedy writers. The the creative geniuses that come from the major universities with the background in television. Uh, they want to do the comedy, but now they've branched out into fucking horror movies. And they say, well, let's just fucking set people on fire. Um, not even, I mean, we've all set people on fire, but I've set somebody on five.

I've set a couple of people on fire. Bob Armstrong, Ronnie Garvin, but what is a difference between throwing fire and I was about to say to actually, well, see, and that was the stipulate which of the Firefly Funhouse Inferno match. Oh, I'd love to have heard Kevin Dunn talking about that one in a production meeting. The Firefly Funhouse Inferno match. The stipulation as written as announced by what the ring announcer Mike Rome, he got his hair cut.

with a pencil sharpener. Go back and look at him now. Anybody, I double dog, I triple dog dare you. Don't stick your tongue to a flagpole. Go back and look at this fucking schmow on, on the video and tell me that somebody to stick his head. And when he was in grade school,

stick his head in a pencil sharpener and grind it. And he's kept that haircut ever since. Anyway, the stipulation was to light some part of your opponent on fire. and as I was saying speaking from a segment of the population that has set other human beings on fire, that can happen. But how did they get total and complete emulation of a human being to a burnt crisp to Waffle House fucking hash browns? How did that?

we're going to actually kill murder this guy kill him burn him of a supply he was alive when they started so burn him alive as the finish to this pay-per-view this of this once proud company that has been reduced to and here's a lot of people are going to say well you got cut a promo on your boy randy orton here's the thing randy orton one the last star of their their great class besides brock who wrestles once of fucking every time haman gets laid brock wrestles so and well it's about the same amount of frequency and and and and and and and and and and and and and hena's making movies and he's the last of the superstar level guys that and and and and and the all around best in-ring worker psychology athletically performing the moves knowing what to do be blah blah blah he's 250 pounds he's a grown man people buy him as a badass he was big back when it was harder to be big than it is now or harder to be presented as a main eventer

it's it's a lot harder to be big now because nobody's doing it but he reminds me of remember when nicholas cage at one point had been in like the biggest box office bonanza movies in hollywood and was a huge fucking star and somehow well not somehow through spending all of his fucking money and more got incredibly in debt to the irs and was forced to do people's home fucking movies practically this is what this felt like for randy and and i i'm randy orton is not a guy who is a a sympathy a fuzzy, warm-hearted guy when it comes to the traditions of the wrestling business. And I guarantee you that he at this point is saying, I'm traveling to fewer places than ever in my career. I'm working overall less than ever. I'm taking fewer bumps than ever. And they're still paying me seven figures a fucking year. And they want me to do this shit.

They're going to pay me to do this shit. Okay. what the fuck because he is the viper right the other guy I'm not sure about Bray Wyatt I think he thinks this shit's good

because that whole fucking puppet thing and the fucking fun house thing and the whole nine yards and the fact that they hit him with crow bars and wrecking balls and shove hand grenades up his ass and pull the pen

and he still comes comes back. This will be a good one. Now, you know, did they give him his notice? Are they finally done with the fiend? Because they burned him alive in front of God and everybody, including all the fans on the screen. So I'm wondering, is that mean he's done? Did they give him his notice? Did they future endeavor him? They say the business was harder in the old days, Brian. But God damn, in the old days, all they did was job you out and maybe fuck you on your last check. They burned this motherfucker alive to give him his notice.

That's stiff. I don't believe they've given him notice, no. Well, how's he, what's he going to come back as the fucking crispy critter from Canyon Creek? What is it here? Wait a minute. Here comes a human piece of charcoal down the aisle. It's the fiend returning. So, I, I, I, the Orton did this maliciously for money.

Like, if you're stupid enough to get me. to do this your last fucking star no wonder people are tuning out in droves i'm still making all this money fuck you i don't know i don't know if uh his dad the cowboy bob what he would have thought of this finish had they presented it to him of course that wouldn't have happened back in those days but the actual last actual star that they created from our big class in o vw they're putting him in these stipulation matches that make everybody either roll their eyes or laugh or they're blowing up on Twitter. Oh, look at this. This is fucking stupid.

And is that the goal here to take your last star and put him in shit that people will purposely fucking laugh at and make fun of? As a business goal, is that a thing that you would want to do? uh and as i did and somebody had to tell vince yeah we're gonna can you imagine if one of us whether it'd been me or bruce or fucking shit stain it's yeah we're going to actually set fire to fucking shan but i you know i actually i could have pitched that one i could have i could have i could have given it at my all the big pitch we're going to set fire to on and burn him alive at the end of raw what the he would have drug tested us you could

have said that cane did it even and somebody saw well they were doing that before yeah they set cane's arm on fire once right okay yeah and that's a fucking they do the gel and all the shit and everything well that fit the fucking thing they set his arm on fire it's happened to people but it didn't mean that they set his whole body on fire and burned him too who ate Chris. And not only that, but an obvious dummy. They show him laying there, show him laying there when Randy throws the fucking match. It's a goddamn mannequin. It looked like a goddamn Three Stooges cartoon, but before they even broke away from Ted Healy for the old time movie comics in the audience. When it was just a, they throw a fucking six-ounce

dummy, a plastic or fucking styrofoam dummy off a roof dressed as somebody and it floats in the breeze and that's the body that's funny it was obviously fake obviously not remotely the same human being we had just seen there which means randy's when you do something and folks the reason why i'm saying with your one of your last stars or your last star why would you do this because when he's in on it which he obviously was it drags him down too people don't then it's all subliminal and it's also cumulative nobody's going to well some people actually by Twitter and things actually have said fuck it this is it for me

this is the straw that broke the camel's bat but these stupid things any one of them may not mentally turn a long time fan off to the star or to the business but cumulatively they do and generally the fans that are most disgusted remember the high points may young you know sharts of a fucking hand out

or fucking twat uh somebody gets burned alive in the middle of the fucking ring at the end of a pay-per-view etc all the goofy shit and over time even a star of the level of randy orton who has goodwill built up with the fans of the way that they think of him that he is a star on the level of, you know, maybe the, the Austens and the fucking, you know, upper level of the world, certainly the Sinas and the Batistas and the blah, blah, blah. But then the more they see him and shit like this, the more that that goes around, that then when you bring up Randy Orton's name, whether they say to somebody else, oh, yeah, I saw that thing he was in, or they just think to themselves, yeah, he was in that goofy thing

where they set the fucking mannequin on fire. and over a period of time the subliminal message that you are delivering to people when you put your stars in positions of doing stupid shit like that is more of the silly ha ha ha you know yeah i got it of that fucking thing and and less of the wow it was austin and rock and fucking zina and here came the big the good memories get lost because the good memories are how the guys got over and now they're having more bad memories of guys doing stupid shit with other people that ain't over or is implausible or is just goofy or they expect me to believe it would by the way did

somebody tell me Ray Mysterio grew another fucking eyeball has this happened oh I don't know I thought he was wearing a mask with a eye patch over not eye covering over his eye but I don't know I saw several tweets here a few weeks ago to the effect of they they'd be seen Ray Mysterio with a brand new eye. I don't, maybe he got a glass eye, but to point at that shit, loser, at first, the winner has to take the loser's eyeball out. Well, fuck you. That could, yes, that could happen in a fucking bar fight and yes, it's happened in

wrestling, both unintentionally, Stan Hanson and Vader and intentionally about numerous times back in the old days when things got out of hand. Ron Fuller can tell you all about it on the studcast. but you can never advertise that as a stipulation and get anybody to do anything but roll their eyes see what i did there it's just fucking silly and so these anyway these writers just fine their uh paychecks but coming up with this preposterous horse shit because they've never actually been in the ring or have any respect for wrestling combined with the fact that now since there's no people in the building they can just say cut

it's what they've dreamed of instead of them getting into the wrestling business they've made the wrestling business get into their fucking phony ass TV business I don't blame the writers I blame Vince well I don't worry there's some more blame to go around that's why I said a bit ago can you imagine us saying that 25 years ago

let's set to go on fire or whatever he would have drug tested us now somebody needs to give Vince one of those cognitive tests because this got by him too he somehow they convinced him this was a good thing well we've just throwing all pretense out the wind events we'll just burn one of the top talents and then maybe Vince had the same response I did why is he still under contract we'd like to use him more if he is and then they'll say well we'll just what but how are they going to resurrect him have they been watching the old frankenstein movies

he got he didn't even fall into the sulfur pit or the fucking glacier where he could be frozen in the ice He was in the ring there on fire Like a goddamn The last hot dog on the fucking grill That somebody forgot at the 4th of July picnic In front of everybody Until motionless He had to be motionless

It was a mannequin You want to go over this thing Some of the highlights of this thing Let's do that Let's take a drink of Sprite Zero to wash some of the bile Out of my mouth Here's the thing again in an empty building

they've got the piped in crowd cheering or booing or whatever from the start of the whole thing from the entrances and I understand the guys are they still have the guys do entrances even though there's no people there they're milking for it Randy did the okay UFC fucking you know

psych up the all intense thing which would work if it was if it didn't any way been a fight that he was advertised or scheduled to be involved in, but they made it silly right off the bat. Light party of your opponent on fire, blah, blah, blah. And in the fiend entrance with the blackout and the effects and the skull mask, here's the thing, if all of his matches weren't so obviously phony

and all the preposterous things that they run over him with, that he doesn't sell and his head caved in doesn't sell. And if he didn't do all the stuff, if he didn't do all the stuff, segments of promos with the puppets and so obviously phony and requires the cooperation of all of the opponents and etc to be going along with this thing his entrance just standing alone would be cool it's cool fucking mask it's a big fat fuck in the fucking leather the lights the fucking lantern with the skull the entrance is the is my favorite part he loses me on everything else at they just looked at each other like they're in this fight to the death i timed it for a minute they

kind of circled around and then randy sucker punched him and no sells it and it took randy like six minutes to get in the ring and well yeah that's another thing i think they're thinking you know randy's thinking i'm getting paid for for this the same thing no matter how slow it is or how much i can avoid of the doing of this but yeah you're you're right it was eternity before they they got there and got started with anything. And then, okay, so they've got the fiend is not selling, you know, the fiend at this point reminds me,

or at this point early in the match, reminds me of when Lawler was book in Memphis and was stuck for, he couldn't get Bach Winkle in or he was stuck for a fucking heel. And there, Duke Myers in the territory. I got a horror mask, put it, but the, me, the Colossus of death. And that's the way he'd work with him. It's a big fucking guy and a mask probably padded so he's not selling the punches.

And he's, you know, fucking physically overwhelming. And then, but that was, that was Jerry Lawler stealing a house on one of 52 Monday nights at the Mid-South Coliseum. That's not a pay-per-view main event picture that you want to fucking see with your top guy beating up there, trying to beat up this guy and a fucking. horror movie outfit and he's not selling him. And then when the fiend takes over the quick camera cuts in the fucking corner, my God, I was becoming physically ill. You know, we haven't even talked about that really specifically in a while, but another

reason beyond the really bad creative, beyond the presentation, beyond the commentators, another reason why a lot of people have a difficult time watching their shows. is the camera cuts, which are excessive is a nice way to put it. It's nonstop. It's on every move. It's on every punch. They'll switch to camera. Well, they're trying.

I mean, it looks like the old fucking fight scenes in the fucking 66 Batman series, where they're in the heels layer. They've got the Dutch tilt where everything's a bit off fucking kilter. And then the fight starts. And the only thing they're missing is the goddamn pow and Zowie sound effects. written out on the screen because they're some of these guys need smoke and mirrors some of them don't but either

the quick camera cuts when there's action to make it frenetic or just the overall the overly obviously rehearsed and staged camera shots where they're just perfect every time where you see what you're not supposed to see before

you it this they've stripped any fucking spontaneity out of this anyway Um, the fiend did a head palm shoot off and Randy Orton went with it and ran back into a fucking headbut. I was like, God damn. Rip Rogers would have cussed Randy Orton like a fucking redheaded stepchild for that if he'd had done that in class. I was wondering why the fiend was dressed like a biker doink, but I found out later on in the finish.

Um, go back and look. A biker d'o. He looked like. fucking doink joined the goddamn sons of anarchy. Orton was wearing a track suit. But see, that's another thing, the visual. Here's a guy dressed like a biker doink or a horror movie fucking creation of Jerry Lawlers in Memphis on a Monday night against a big star for the past 20 years

who's in the ring wearing a track suit. And visually, is this a WWE pay-per-view main event? and it looked like a training match or a training match on Orton's part and an outlaw match on Feen's part and of course isn't what Orton's wearing a thing because there's fire everywhere well yeah guess what he probably said I'm not going out there and what I normally fucking wear when I have to do these spots this close to this fucking fire Anyway, Fiend was then turned the fucking fire on, by the way. Were we supposed to think that he was controlling the fire mentally, or that there was someone there who, whenever anything happened, boosted the flames?

I'd well, and then somebody else, by the way, fuck you before you even say this. Well, Kane did it with an undertaker to do his power. Yeah, on your entrance, when you're a big star on a television program and you make a motion, I can believe they'll the fucking pyro off for you, right? And it stretched credulity when they started being able to do it on the unplanned run-ins. But when one of the participants in the match has obviously fucking paid off the goddamn pyro guy to be in his pocket and help him in his

fight during the match by blowing the other guy or setting him on fire, you know, what the fuck? And then it just started going off just to, it was almost like Vince was back there, like his fucking, he's so, he's like wanting to juice it up, right? Like he's got his, like a junkie with his finger on the morphine drip. He's saying, yeah, hit the flames again, hit the flames again. That makes it more exciting. And that fake crowd noise pumped in the whole match. Yes, just incessant.

and did you the fiend gets the leather strap from under the ring and whips randy orton with it and then throws that strap down and then reaches under gets another strap that he pulls up and you can see the flame gels on it is the flammable stuff they use for in the hollywood for this type of thing and he lights it on fire he's holding it out and he's going to whip randy with it but randy moves so then the fiend swings at him and misses with an axe they expect us to believe that he was going to hit him with the fucking axe full force and by the way and there's no referee in this thing you no wonder that they're hemorrhaging viewers include now they're down to the people that have been with them for a while and diehard w w fans and they're losing those people now because this doesn't even resemble what the fuck that they were doing they're supposed to be doing and like a said putting orton in this just devalues him for the smaller and smaller audience that when fiend pours the gasoline on a rocket chair sets orton into rocket chair and tries to set him on fire but

randy wakes up just in time but then the announcer said that made randy snap and he actually made fiend sell by beating him with a fucking uh the same size chain you use for a tennessee chain he wraps it around his fist and I would have broken his fist too. The old days it was a little dog choker chain. Was this around the time when the announcer started whispering? Yeah, well, yeah, then they're doing the hushed. It's not a golf announcing. It's the hushed funeral procession.

Like fucking and here comes Jackie with JFK Jr. And it's so fucking. And the announcers are dead. I mean, they're just flattered. a plate full of piss because they're calling this like it's actually plausible, which is obviously the job of wrestling announcers, but they're in a no-win situation here. Because if you call, if you are an announcer who's calling this in any way plausible, that one of these motherfuckers is really going to get set on fire, you're fucking buried.

So they've given them no way out. The faces of the fans in the Thunderdome weren't even reacting. They weren't moving. weren't cheering, they weren't smiling. One guy, one of the close-ups when they were out on the fucking floor was given a double thumbs down and suddenly boom, some girl popped up in his

place. But you couldn't even pay attention to the match that they were having with all the fire explosions and the fake crowd noise and the ridiculous stipulation you were fed to begin with and the rotten

announcing because it was so preposterous and no referee. So, it's not even in any semblance of a and there's no way you could get involved in this it was just two guys doing shit maybe in Puerto Rico they liked the fire in Puerto Rico or if Oneida still had a company in Japan but you couldn't get into this as any kind of legitimate or even illegitimate conflict this was a this was more than just a bastard child of wrestling this was not even related to it It was just, they've lost the plot. And so finally, then Orton pushes fiend into one of the fire trays.

And he catches on fire his specially prepared heavy leather jacket and six layers of leggings and the places where they put the stuff on. And more power to him for doing that. I don't want them to set me on fire, even if it's professionals doing it. But then they sets him on fire and he runs into the ring. So Orden can RKO him while he's on fire. We all know what you're supposed to do is stop, drop and roll. Yes, well, he didn't stop.

He ran and then he got dropped and then he just rolled over. Rock and roll over. Who was that? What album was that? I don't know. Rock and roll over. Was that Kiss? I don't know.

I can't remember. Well, one of the brilliant musicians out in the audience is going to tell me. But anyway, and so and fiend sold that believe it or not so boom so randy wins he set the guy on fire orton's distraught and then goes out and gets a gas can and pours it all over the fiend and one of the announcers says what's randy going to do what the fuck do you think he's going to do at this point he's pouring gasoline on this motherfucker nobody comes out the cameramen keep shooting no wherever the announcers are are hidden in the in the Thunderdome there.

They're not trying to do anything. There's no official of any kind. Oh, and Orton gets the gas can, pours it over him. He goes out, and there's a box of brand new long-stemmed matches sitting carefully placed on the railing. Everybody knows that one of the standard pieces of equipment for a wrestling shoot is a box of brand-new long-stemmed matches, sitting carefully placed on the barricade where the keeps the ringside area away from the fans who aren't present and then he lights him on fire and the fake explosions went crazy in the classic days of professional wrestling there was so much that promoters hid from the fire

marshal but this has taken things to a whole other level how many death threats do you think orton's going to get for this zero of course I I say this all the time that the more you see something the more that something is prostituted the more that something is made to mean less or the people are numb to the reaction or whatever the case the overall the less it means you lose another tool in your toolkit and this is a classic example I through a fireball. And to this day, people, most people still don't know how that was done.

And I'm not going to reveal the fucking secret here. You can go back and watch it on YouTube or whatever. Boy, people have loved it for years. One of the great fireballs. But I throw the fireball in Ronnie Garvin's face. He fucking goes down. Boom, his face smolders for about 15 seconds. The place is a scene of chaos.

his brother turns baby face to fucking help save him they take him to the hospital they're worried about his eyesight it legitimately did burn all of his eyebrows and fucking couple layers of his cheeks and forehead off they just say on television my god he's cornet set ronty garvin's face on fire here's the tape boom they play it i get multiple death threats i printed some of them in the middine express book I've got some of them hanging on the wall here in the office. People went berserk like I legitimately had attempted murder on this fucking guy and tried to end his career.

And he was out for, what they keep him out for two weeks? Maybe I can't remember. And he comes back into people and in multiple places paid, especially in Charlotte, we drew, what was it, over 7,000 people to see me versus. him just so he could beat me up nobody was laughing about that it wasn't humorous to anybody it drew money for fucking months with garvin and windham against the midnight and me and ronnie and jimmy garvin uh joining the fucking fray and the garvin brothers this is well this was stupid their own fans

that watched the shows made fun of it and if if people do remember it in a month or two which I doubt the company probably should be ashamed of themselves that they did it to begin with and people remember it after that time they should be hoping that people forget about it I don't know what the fuck has happened with Vince

I don't I I guess Bruce has just rolled over and said fuck it I'm just going to fucking you know let let them do whatever and pitch it to Vince because that's my job because basically he takes whatever I would assume that they come up with and he's just the one that has to sell it to Vince because he's the only one to Vince will listen to because as

we've mentioned before Vince thinks that Bruce gets it and it is whatever Vince wants. I don't fucking know. It's been every match we've seen Bray Wyatt in this year. There was the Firefly Funhouse match at WrestleMania with Sina. there was the, I don't even remember what the name of it was, the swamp match with Braun Strowman were. I think it was the swamp match. Here's the problem.

They do so much of the stupid stuff. I don't even remember now. Who drowned? One of them drowned in that match. I don't remember which one was. You know. Remember it ended where the water turned red and yeah, who was it? Which one of them wasn't?

It had to be, it had to be Stroman because how could Bray White lose his own swamp match? why he'll never be allowed back into swamp again why and and ernest t bass is the head of the swamp committee down there he wouldn't let him back in a swamp if he lost a swamp match well i have another question about uh wrestling that was my gimmick for billy black and smoky mountain wrestling if he has stuck around long enough he was a fucking swamp bastard with a fucking burlap sack of who knows what over his fucking shoulder and he fit the part that South Georgia fucking hillbilly looking fucking talking son of a gun and he wouldn't stick with it but he went on to have a long and successful current oh shit anyway well I want to ask you a

follow-up question but first let me just give you this brief report about what happened after the event this is from the wrestling observer website by Brian Rose about last night's Monday Night Raw. came out on Tonight's Raw and explained that he liked what he did the previous night. He said that a normal man would have regrets over setting a man on fire, but the fiend was not a man, and Orton was not normal. After Orton declared that the fiend was no more, the lights went out. Oh boy. In a manner similar to when the fiend appears ringside. Instead, it was Alexa Bliss swinging

on a swing set inside the ring. Oh no. She just... Oh no. What? This is why I don't watch. She joked that the fiend could be at the beach as he looked a little pale, or he could be at his favorite restaurant eating barbecue.

The end of the segment had Bliss warn Orton that if the fiend did come back, he would be unlike anything he had ever seen before. So now they got Alexa Bliss talking for the fiend. Is this what you're saying to me? Well, I think there had been some involvement for a little while, but we haven't been watching the show. But I didn't know about the lights going out and coming back on and there's a swing set in the middle of the ring. That's new to me. That's new to me.

You know, sometimes it's a tantalizing proposition to think what I could verbally do to a fucking garbage. show like that but I'd have to watch it to completely rip it apart do you think the authorities have dropped the ball not apprehending Randy Orton for murder well and now here's the thing did do they have evidence because as we clearly saw on the telecast he didn't set fire to a real person he set fire to a phony looking fucking mannequin so I don't think there's a so a lot of people have said this should he be apprehended should it you know should the authorities be called but I say no because the evidence is so flimsy against him because all he has to do is point and say, look, that looks faker and a football bat.

And they'd have to go, well, you're right. That's pretty fucking fake. Is this the new trend in wrestling, though? We know that impact wrestling did a big murder mystery between this and whatever happened in the swamp that we can't exactly recall. Remember that and they said that Lucha Underground was a trailblazer in this type of fucking horse fuckery, uh, because they were killing people. and resurrecting them and and all kinds of bringing them back to life and then killing them again

over and over again they were doing that a few years ago because of the you know the fucking they were in right there in Hollywood with all the tv writers they were ahead of the curve on this now all the rassling writers want to catch up on it so everybody's impact uh shot to groom uh w w bernth the fiend uh uh Eric Clapton did not shoot the sheriff, but he did shoot the deputy. Well, Bob Marley did it first. Well, that's true. Bob Marley shot the sheriff, but he didn't shoot the deputy.

And in Eric Clapton tried to take credit for it. I don't know if there were any convictions. Does Matt Hardy's drowning in the football field match count, even though he came right back to life as a different person? No, his career had been dead long before that. So I guess, yeah. So now, you know, it's like, fuck, it's a dangerous profession. You can be murdered at any point.

You know what Sean Michaels would call this an unsafe work environment? Can you imagine it? Just because fucking Brett beat him up. It didn't even get the chance to beat him up just because Brett roughed him up. He said it was an unsafe work environment. Imagine if he was subject to being murdered whenever he came to work. Why, he would have been fucking just all upset. Jesus Christ.

Well, like we said at the top, we promised if anyone did anything stupid, we would have an update. And here it is. This will continue now for the next couple of weeks. If anyone does anything extraordinarily stupid. Don't keep saying that. Which unfortunately happens quite frequently in the world of professional wrestling. We will never have a break if you keep saying that. Or we're going to have to raise the level of stupidity, the level of the stupidity bar.

I think it's as far as it can go right now. it has to be stupider than this. Whatever somebody does has to be stupider than this. Let's give ourselves some fighting chance to not have to do this constant. I've seen a grown woman, in fact, an overgrown woman screaming about her whole. Naya Jackson's whole has become the most entertaining thing on WWE television. I'm in a good mood this morning. Well, since you open the door.

Or open the hole. Was it the back door or the front door, Brian? You know, a few years back in TNA, I believe it was still TNA, it wasn't just impact yet. And it certainly wasn't global force at that time. There was a match Shelley Martinez versus Reba or Rebel, as she was then known. I remember this. Where Shelley Martinez. I wasn't there, but I saw it.

And you heard it because in the middle of the match, Shelley Martinez starts yelling out, My Vag! My Vag! Which, you know, Moola never did that. At least not in the ring. I think what had happened was the other young lady who was Shelly Reba. Reba. Yeah.

Yeah, Reba had grabbed her tights by the elastic tights or the spandex tights or whatever by one of the leggings or something. It had given her the old atomic wedgy there in the wrong place. Dundee did that to Miss Linda one night in Memphis. not on purpose but no it was me and Adrian Street and Miss Linda in a three on one handicap

lumberjack match with Bill Dundee same one that he threw me out of the ring and I got 20 something stitches in my fucking cheekbone and the idea was the lumberjacks had belts and if you took a bump out they're going to whip you

but the lumberjacks are Stan Lane Steve Kern a fabulous ones Jerry Lawler and Terry Taylor's there's all baby faces they're going to whip the shit out of us and treat Dundee like he's, you know, wrapped in bubble wrap, right? And at one point, Linda rolls out and they start, you know, they're taking it easy on Linda, but they're fucking with me and Adrian. But they're whipping her legs and everything and she tried, she tried to roll back in and she got kind of hung on the apron and Dundee reached over like he was going to pull her in and grabbed her. She was wearing a full bathing suit apparatus type of thing like Mula used to wear, right? But as he grabbed the seam of it some kind of way, it just went right up there.

And the whole front row was looking at a hustler centerfold spread of Linda. And I didn't see this. My attention was elsewhere as we were running around trying not to get shit whipped out of us. So was Adriens. And I'd run back to the apron of our corner. And Linda's down and she's got her face covered. And she's like taking quick breath. I think she's crying.

Maybe she's been potatoed in the face. I'm like, Linda, Linda, what's wrong? And she's covered up because she's fucking laughing. She said, I just flashed the whole front row. But sometimes these things happen with your holes. Where were we going with that? We were going to the big hole herself, Naya Jax. So apparently on Monday Night Raw, the day before we are recording this,

on our new schedule for this week, at least, for the drive-through. Lana and Naya Jax, the feud that just won't stop, continued in a match on Monday Night Raw. And during this match and this clip has gone viral and we've received countless, maybe too many questions. One in your opinions on this brief moment in wrestling history, Nia Jax fell under the apron ass first and then said, my butt, and then said, my whole. any thoughts or comments did you see this well yeah not only did i see that particular incident but i saw several minutes of this contest i assumed the majority of it i don't think they didn't go like 45 minutes or an hour on this one did they um but you know every now they went they went two

out of three holes oh god wait a minute hold hold on here Thank you. Thank you. Oh, what a number. Every time I sigh, people know it's coming. But so they did this whole long program between these two young ladies with Niajacks repeatedly, repeatedly, continuously, baby, over and over again, as in more than once, on a weekly batheth, if you will.

Put Lana through a fucking table, right? This is what they were doing. Somebody said at one time it was up to a count of like seven or eight tables that Jacks had put Lana through. Am I correct on this? I think it was at least that. It may have been even more than that, but it was every single week for a while. And we weren't watching, so we didn't believe it. Someone said, Naya Jackson put Lana through a table eight weeks in a row.

And we said, how is that possible? And of course, it's possible because her husband will have to go work for the competition. So they had the publisher. somebody tweeted out like a compilation video of crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch okay point is this is apparently the match where she finally gets her revenge and immediately after she wins this match is everybody talking about Lana?

No, everybody's talking about Nea Jackson's asshole and it was a fucking and it's a joke and it's a meme and Lana could have been fucking Atlanta Turner or you know, Cheetah the Wonder Chimp. She was just an afterthought in this because everybody's talking about Nia Jackson's asshole. And when you go back and you watch the match, the way they built into it,

this fucking giant Bohemoth, Bohemoth, as Vince McMahon used to say, this giant Bohemoth, Naya Jacks, hits these one-armed giant choke power slams on little old land, boom, looked like it killed her

and probably did rearrange her intestine made her liver quiver and her spleen turned green. And then immediately she goes to give her another when Atlanta just comes back. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Bing, bang, bang. They take the most awkward... I got to use quotation marks. Can you see my error

quotation marks Brian bump over the top I've ever seen? She goes to give her the goddamn power bomb again, and she on her head and staggers her, and she looks like she's going to power bomb Lana over the top rope onto the table, but instead Lana goes upside down, and I was waiting for her to lose her. And Lana to really go upside down, but she held on to her, and then

Niajax throws one of those goddamn giant elephant titus-like legs over the top rope, because there's no way that Lana's weight or lack of momentum at that point or anyway she's going to get her over this top rope. So Jacks literally has to crawl over the top rope herself, right? And rolls over onto the apron and then they tease that she's going to go through the goddamn table or whatever, but she doesn't. And then she, I will say this for the record. Now, now that I've seen enough of this, because I've defended her one time,

when everybody was on Nia Jacks for potato and some girl. And I said, well, she walked into it, you know, turn around and shit. It ain't ballet. Things happen. But at this point, Nia Jacks makes Ox Baker look like Ray Stevens. She's practically immobile. And so she misses the leg drop on Lana on the apron, boom, and rolls off and gets mad and turns table over and sells her ass and screams about her hole. and Lana's supposed to roll out and shove

Naya Jacks through the table it's leaning up against the barricade at ringside to win the tables match and get her revenge and she shoves Nia Jaxx into the table and she just stumbles and goes so low she didn't break the table you caught that right she just jammed the table up against the fucking

barricade and collapsed the legs and was leaning and because she's 392 pounds she just wedged it up there and it was standing up straight but the table didn't even break and ding ding ding and they just shot away from it and Lana wins and so her win was completely negated

to begin with the spot was blown nobody remembers it anyway because everybody's talking about Nia Jackson's hole so poor old Lana got fucked again she might as well take another one through the table at least she can break them I couldn't believe that.

Nia Jax may be the worst. I shouldn't say that. Big Swole is active. In the WWE, Nia Jax may be the single worst women's wrestler because she doesn't really add much. And like you said, it's not just one time or twice or three times. She is potatoed or just hurt girls multiple times. And it doesn't seem like it's stopping. No, the thing is, it's a bad,

when you're that big, if she could move, it would be one thing. But there's no movement there. And it doesn't appear that she can often control in which direction she's moving. Or the speed of same or the fucking impact upon landing. So I don't know. But can they get some merchandising out of this, you think? My whole?

You think WWE is going to do my whole merchandising? Well, no, McFoly tweeted about it. This could be the next Austin 316. Nea Jackson owe my hole. I thought it was bad when Kurt Engel came out and everyone, Chanda, you suck. She's going to come out, my hole. My hole. No, no, wait, they'd be going, your hole, your hole, your hole, your hole.

Duh-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. By the way, I got to say Shelly Martinez certainly yelled my vaj with more urgency. Well, I think your badge was really hurt, whereas Nia Jackson was just working, as she normally does, day late and a dollar short

and with a lack of emotion. My hole! Shelly's Vagge was all fucking, boy, I tell you what, I had to put a bandage on it myself. No, I wasn't even there. I wasn't even there. It was Owen.

I'm sure, I'm sure she were, it all worked out fine, though. They had quality medical facilities and, uh, physician care down there in, in T&A at that point in time. Can you explain to me what's up with Alexa Bliss and, her pupils seem to be strangely dilated had she just, or undiolated, had she just been to the optometrist? She's in a swing. She's got the weird eyes.

she's challenging Randy Orton. I guess she's under the spell of the fiend. She's in a swing, did I mention? This is ridiculous. With fake crowd noise behind it, which makes it even more ridiculous. Yeah, it doesn't, why would there be, when we know there's not a crowd in the building,

why would there be crowd noise behind a pre-taped interview in the locker room or backstage area? I can't explain any of it. I will say that apparently this is one of the big matches on this weekend's WWE Fast Lane Pay-Pervue event. They're advertising Alexa Bliss against Randy Orton. That's right. Well, good.

That saves me a lot of time because I have to do a bunch of orders this weekend. We're not going to watch it? You can watch all you want to of it. I've got work to do. And if they're advertising Alexa Bliss versus Randy Orton, that's a good reason for me not to watch. But you don't know what could happen. She could turn into a giant monster or something.

What she does in her personal life is no affair of mine. Well, that wasn't the only clip I sent you, which was apparently, seemingly, setting up a match for WWE Fastlane. The Shane McMahon segment, I think, may have been as well. Okay. And I've said I like Shane. Shane's my favorite McMahon. What a guy. And he's in great shape.

He's in his 50s now. He stays in great shape. He inherited the workout ethic from Vince. I don't know that his music fits him now. The money, money, money. He's not coming out dancing and doing the shuffle. But I didn't understand. What the,

Braun-Stromen. And I know there's, we didn't obviously see the interplay. that they've had over the past few weeks, apparently, where Shane has been saying these awful things about Braun Strowman. But Bronz Strowman, six foot, what, seven, 350 pounds? Oh, maybe taller than that. Maybe taller than that.

Is standing there in the ring, he's called Shane out, and he's telling Shane about how he's been bullied all his life by people like you. Number one, I can't imagine why or how that Braun Strowman could say with a straight face, I've been bullied all my life, just those words, but what kind of fucking idiot, writer or booker,

would have Braun Strowman tell people he's been bullied all his life? Do you remember when Andre came out and said, yeah, I've been bullied all my life? It's the same stupidity like when these guys, I think the big show did it actually. When they come out there, despite being big stars on national TV for so long, they're broke, they're afraid they're going to be fired. You know, Stephanie would come out there and start yelling at everyone that I'll fire you

and they all coward because there's no other job these people could ever have except for this one. It's stupid. Well, besides that, he's been bullied all his life by people like you, who, by Ivy League school people. How many Ivy League school people did Braun Stromen come in contact with? Did Shane go to an Ivy League school? Well, probably.

I don't remember. I don't know. I wasn't particularly there when Shane was in school. But anyway, the point is, so he's going through all that you don't give these big giants, these human weaknesses. Find you a little Ricky Morton looking fella for that, but a six foot seven, 350 pound giant,

I'm sorry, my asshole bleeds for him when he talks about how he's been bullied. and then Shane apologizes, says he'd never make fun of him, and then proceeds to make fun of him. But the lines weren't funny. So if the lines ain't funny, what the fuck?

But there was the invisible wall that was stopping Braun-Stromen from coming over and getting to Shay, because they're 40 feet from each other. at best, right? And Braun Stromans, they're having a meltdown in the ring. It's not even an arena with security and all kinds of people. He could just walk over there and snatch Shane McMahon if he wanted to. But instead, he's flipping out in the ring until finally Shane accepts his challenge.

What universe are we living in now where I understand a fucking corner and Shane into some kind of gimmick match? but Shane fully accepts a match with Braun-Strauman, just without any trickery, deceit, being forced, being cornered, and then when they actually have the match, he's going to run and run scared from him. But when he gets caught and gets bounced around a little bit, suddenly, before you know it, Shane is kicking a shit out of the 6'7-350-pound giant.

I like Shane as a person and he is an excellent condition and he's actually a tough son of a gun but in this world you're talking about a 50 plus year old son of a billionaire owner kicking a shit out of one of your top baby faces who happens to be a 6'7, 350 pound giant

just so we can get the elbow in off the top through the table again in what universe should this be happening and then to top it all off after he leaves him laying there, Leaves Braun Strowman laying there holding his ribs, Shane goes under the ring, gets a bucket, pulls Braun Stromen up by his beard, trash talks him, and pours two buckets of green paint

all over the top of his head. To signify what, where does the green paint come in? What is the green paint? Significant. He's green in the ring. That's the only thing I could think of. I have no idea what else it would signify. Did they actually say the word paint?

I don't want. That's what it was. I was thinking green slime from Nickelodeon. Well, I don't know if they said the word paint, but I'm seeing him with two buckets of fucking green paint from Sherwin Williams pouring it all over the time. As I told Vince one time, might as well

pissed his mouth while he's down there. Shane McMahon has beat this guy up, left him laying and poured fucking paint all over him. So why should Drew McIntyre not be able to fucking break his neck like a biscuit? I don't understand. There were other clips. I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget them.

Unfortunately, they're etched in my memory. Why did you send me Ms. and Morrison arguing with our truth about their stupid fake 24-7 title belt? Because once again, I thought

Ms. is actually doing a good job on the mic. This is the Ms. that I don't mind. I didn't mind it there. I mean, he was well-spoken, but they're arguing with our truth about a fake belt that they make fun of on their own program.

And the only thing, I like that they said that, you know, Bugs Bunny earned a Grammy, but he didn't earn that belt or whatever. I agree with Ms. Go do those things you're good at, Bugs Bunny. But it's still, if they're trying to get some serious heat on Ms, take him away, get him, don't have him interact with the goofy guy, with the fake belt. that they make a joke out of on their own program.

What seems like they're setting things up for Ms. and Bad Bunny? Well, bad news. So they had somehow advertised that Alexa Bliss had challenged Randy Orton and they were going to, I don't know if they ever termed it a match or just that's a challenge they're going to meet. I don't know. And that's what, that's where I mentioned they could do a package most of the time. as soon as I saw the package, it was preposterous.

Can you imagine somebody, God, that's been in a coma for 30 years, it used to never miss a wrestling program, and they've been in a coma, and all of a sudden they wake up, and this is the first thing they see, burning people alive, an evil school girl,

reciting nursery rhymes, and then burning people with flame throwers. and Alexa Bliss hijacks the fan screens in the Thunderdome and makes Randy Orton puke black sludge on himself. And Orton on TV speaking to Orton standing there looking at the TV. No wonder people hate this shit now. No wonder people don't watch this shit anymore. Who thought any of this would be good anything, much less res,

what is wrong with these people, the writers, the talent, the producer, the fucking Vince, him said, anybody that doesn't just walk out and disgust. No wonder. Nobody wants to see this. And that's why nobody is seeing this shit. Wrestling.

Nobody is watching anymore. Fucking hell, we're talking about shows with 750,000 viewers winning the fucking one. Wednesday night war. And at first, during the package, I had,

because Randy Orden, one of me, OVW guys, right? And he's been a, and he's a phenomenal worker. And he's been a fantastic talent. And I know how Randy is. He just wants his check.

And he's way past the point of giving a shit about any of this, the wrestling business or any of these people. If he, I'm sure that his calculating, personality indicates if they want to pay him millions of dollars a year for a very few days a month of acting like a fucking idiot and associating with idiots,

he's taking this guy's check. But here, right here is why wrestling is now a joke to everybody. And there's less than 2 million people watching the big show. And there's 750,000 idiots watching a school play on the other channel just because this shit's so bad. and then Randy Orton comes to the ring, gets up on the ropes, and pukes. I thought he'd just watch the package. That wasn't puked.

That was some kind of black slime. Well, that's what I'm saying, puking black. What is the thing now with slime? The green slime, the black slime. Who's behind this? Kabuki? Is it you, Kabuki? Are you a warrior or an errand boy?

One of these writers went and saw some old 92 stuff with Papa Shango and said, you know, we should try this. So, while Orden is at ringside puking, which is the reaction that we're all about to have, here comes this Alexa Bliss, all four foot 10, 90 pounds of her with the graphics,

the Firefly Fun House, the music, the skipping, I hate it all. I hate it all. it all. If I had ever been at a wrestling event where something like this took place, I would have either walked out or committed physical assault.

And then this was, there was a referee there, but yet the referee disappeared at any moment that it was fortuitous for him to disappear. And obviously, since it was the WWE, there was no point where Randy Orton actually got his hands on

Alexa Bliss in any kind of aggressive manner, but at the same place, Alexa Bliss never got her hands on Randy Orton either because it was a special effects match part of the time. He goes for her, but suddenly the camera cuts, and fire leaps up in front of Randy Orton, and he jumps back, and then she laughs at a different shot. Maybe whoever did that film school bullshit

in a warehouse for AEWs shooting some of this. and then Randy just runs a hundred miles an hour at this little tiny little blonde girl who just pirouettes out of the way and he posts himself and goes to the floor and then this moved at a snail's pace

where he's looking at her like he's scared and creepy and he's like he's buying any of this shit which made Randy Orton of course then look like a complete befucking phone and she's just backing away and he's creeping up on her slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch, minute by minute, hour by hour. And right, when he had almost crept up on her, maybe crapped up on her,

then a lighting grid falls from the sky because she twinkled her nose like Samantha Stephen. She looked up and she looked down and some sort of paltgeist like power caused the lighting grid to fall. Right at Randy's feet. And he says, are you trying to kill? me? I kind of. I guess that's what they were going for there. And then nothing happened.

And then I was trying to think, who thought Alexa Bliss should be a professional wrestler? How was that a good idea? Maybe she could have worked with little darling Dagmar back in the day. Then she shot another flare at him out of her fire-throwing bazooka gun. And then everything came to a halt again.

And what I've just described here took what, five, six minutes easily. Yeah, about that. It seemed like forever. But then Randy's standing there when suddenly a hand comes through the ring behind Randy and grabs him by the foot. And son of a gun, wouldn't you know who won the pony? The crispy critter from Cripple Creek has returned. The fiend is back to the cheers and adulation of

absolutely no fucking body stupid bullshit but now he's got a he's been burned so he's got a burn mask and a burned outfit and he comes through the ring and is he and Randy Ortoner then having a fucking stick? Why does everybody have stardowns

let me ask you a question if you are a person a real person and something real is happening to you you are in the moment that something someone reaches up through the rig and grabs you by the foot. And when you turn around, you see that a person that you burned alive previously is coming up through the floor of the ring with malice of forethought, an intent of injury in his eyes.

Are you going to stand there and have a stare down with him? Are you going to jump out of the ring and assess this situation? See? Yeah. So they have the stare down. And what, Alexa Bliss, push him. Randy Orton into the fiend's finish. Alexa Bliss covers Randy Orton.

A referee's arm appeared and counted three with the fiend standing over Alexa Bliss cover Randy. So now Alexa Bliss beat Randy Orton. And apparently she upset Randy Orton's wife. Did you see that? I did not. Well, the way she straddled him when she pinned him, apparently Randy Orden's wife wasn't very happy about that.

It went on Twitter. Well, that's the That's the smallest worry That anybody had I'm sure that's probably the only thing about that fucking abortion of a match Randy Orton enjoyed But with all apologies to Mrs. Orton There's bigger fish to fry going on here

Than whether your husband got humped or not And the finish The fact is your husband just got beat By a hundred pound girl In an obviously phony fucking bullshit match that was an abomination to pro wrestling. There's your lead story, Mrs. Orton. God damn it.

So there's a new rule, Brian. I call it the blissful Orton rule. Fuck everybody involved in this, and I have now written off Randy Orton. Oh, come on. He's an OVW guy. I will never watch another Randy Orton match. I'm just glad that Lawler's too old to get in the ring again.

at least for the WWF or they would put me off of him. But no. I know Randy likes the millions of dollars, but I have to be fair and consistent. And no, this is, this is worse than the tooth and nail. This was worse than football field fuckery. I agree.

This was probably, I can't think of what was worse than this. Can you? I thought this was one of the worst things I've ever seen. It made me angry that I was watching this show. I don't know who the audience for Vince McMahon science fiction is. This was as bad a wrestling segment as I have ever seen. And I was pissed after this match.

And I thought it was the end of the show. I forgot there was another match. So I was like, well, at least that's the end. I don't have to watch anymore. but then there was another match and I watched it and it made even more mad because, as I'm sure we're about to talk about, that match was great. That match was, I can do it with a little less of the run-ins, but that match was a great example of how wrestling could work. A contest, you don't know where the finish is going to come from, not overdoing it with near falls, really, really good. Daniel, Brian, you didn't mention the participants, Daniel.

Daniel Bryan and Roman Raines. Daniel Bryan and Roman Raines and man, Daniel Bryan still has it. He is fantastic. But it followed this. It followed this. I'm lucky those guys didn't get swallowed up into the hole that that flaming Bray Wyatt popped out of.

That just went away. The ring crew must come down there and fix the ring really quick. How did they get that fixed? I wonder that quick. I don't know. But I loved that match. And I couldn't enjoy it to the level I won. to because I hated this so much.

It's not even about Randy Orton and me. I've never been the biggest Randy Orton fan, but I can respect what his skills and talent are. But everything with Bray Wyatt, anything he's involved with, even if he's only there as a spirit, and he's not physically there, anything he's involved with,

go home heat to the max for me. There are wrestlers I've talked about before when I see the good brothers, go home heat. I don't want to watch them. I zone out. But it doesn't make me want to throw the TV out the window. Bray Wyatt and the... Everything.

Everything he's involved in. Everything. The supernatural garbage. How does Vince McMahon think this is good? That's the... Because Vince doesn't put things on the show if he doesn't think it's good. He thinks this is good.

This is excruciating... Well, but he ain't coming up with all this shit by himself. A lot of people... are giving this to him because he thinks it's good instead of saying no no i will not be a part of this and and this is not the vince mcmahon i once again i worked with this guy i was in a car with him to forever some days i was in his house forever some days if i had presented anything like this he would have slapped me around and kicked me out out. I don't I don't understand what's happened here. But anyway, and as you said, Daniel

Brian and Roman Raines, I love Daniel Bryan as a worker. Roman Raines. I have loved it his work with Paul Heyman. And I'm sure they had a wonderful match. And if I had bothered to watch after what that I just saw, oh, come on. I'm sure I would have loved it. But no, I was not going to watch anything else. I turned this off. I deleted it as fast as so I'd never be tempted to go back and watch it again. And that's exactly, I would have to think that by the time that they got to the good match on the three-hour program, that a lot of people had already say, you know, this is a fucking mistake and fucking zoned out or tuned out. And if they stuck through it, well, then maybe they were rewarded with a good match, but I didn't want to see.

And that's why you had called me and said, now, I'm not going to tell you what happened. But just after the Orton thing, there's another match and it's really good, so make sure you watch it. I did, yeah. And I said, okay. You did. And when you told me it was Daniel Brown and Roman Rain, I said, okay, then I will look forward to that. By the time I got finished watching what they perpetrated on the screen in the alleged, I don't know what the fuck that was, I don't care. I don't want to see any more of anybody's matches.

I turned the fucking thing off. I deleted it. I will never watch Randy Orton again. I've never watched Alexa Bliss before and now. I know why. I already don't want to see anything involving the fiend. And I didn't want to see any more. And that's what I was talking about earlier in the program also.

They penalize the people that go out and try to do it right because the viewer is either so disgusted, so zoned out, so apathetic about what's going on, that they're not even paying attention. anymore. And just because I bought the pay-per-view, just so I can have it on my big TV in front of my comfy couch, I know nobody else is paying for it these days, which is why I'm sure a lot of people had turned this thing off by that point. Why would you watch that?

I was close to turning things off. It just so happened. I had it on mute, and I was doing something on my computer, and I looked up and they were getting ready for the next match, and I'd forgotten all about Randy, or Randy, Roman Ray. and Daniel Bryan because of, again, the poltergeist match we just watched, which was the worst thing at Bray Wyatt may be the worst wrestler. I shouldn't even say the worst. He's the wrestler I despise the most in the business because anything he's involved with, including, like I said, he doesn't even have to be there. If it's just surrounding the world of the fiend and Bray Wyatt, it is bad. And, you know, maybe there'd be some redeeming value if he was

really good in the ring. And you can say, yeah, okay, he's wearing a toxic Avenger mask. And yeah, okay, it's a little goofy. And I'm not into the supernatural shit. But at least, like, once the match starts, this guy can go. No, you can't even argue that. You can't even say, this guy's good in the ring. He was a really good promo.

And then that went overboard with all this supernatural, spooky shit that just isn't good. This is bad TV. This is horrible wrestling. How do we know if he can work, though? Because it's all the bullshit getting hit by sledgehammers and being blown up and coming back. Because we saw him before that. It wasn't always that. Remember, for a while, he was like some kind of Cajun Swampmaster.

And he had his brood of guys coming out with him, Luke Harper and Eric Rowan. And it was very unique and very different. It had really cool theme music and people kind of got into it. See, I wasn't watching them. And then the bell would ring and you'd be like, man, this guy's so. sucks. Oh, well, see, well, then you, you didn't make me start watching this shit until after he was already teleporting himself into other dimensions in the Firefly Fun House.

But I would have had the exact same reaction as you if I hadn't just by chance noticed that Roman Raines and Daniel Bryan was starting. And then I watched, and it was an exceptional match. It was great. It made me realize how much more I enjoy the match almost ending because of submissions than nonstop near falls. it creates a better match. Edge was the ringside enforcer.

Eventually, since you didn't watch it, I'll tell you, Jay Uso ran in, interfered while the referee was down. They kind of telegraphed the referee bump, and that's another story. Then Edge got involved, and Edge hit Daniel Bryan because he wants to win the title, and who knows if it's going to be a three-way at WrestleMania or just Edge versus Roman Reigns,

but this was a good piece of business. I really, really liked it. I would have liked it more if I wasn't already in a really bad mood because of Alexa Bliss versus Randy Orton. Listen, Alexa Bliss and Bray Wyatt, just go out to Hollywood. Just see if you can get any gigs out there doing a Rob Zombie movie or something. But please stop doing this. Please go away.

Yeah, this should not be done anymore. And yeah, well, I golly, gee, I wish I'd have seen Daniel Bryan and Roman Raines. But maybe they'll ask to go on first next time so that they can be professional, have a match, entertain some people, and then get out of the way while the fucking writers take over the show and send it into the toilet. Bad, just really bad. Speed trap.

WWE sucks so bad. We go off on AEW, and AEW has their problems, and they're significant. And it's not a good wrestling show, but it doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out. it doesn't make me hate myself for watching it WWE I hate myself after watching it it's really really bad I really hate myself equally after watching both shows no I don't think you can compare that

WWE is much worse than AEW well it do you want wrestling insulted completely and utterly like Alexa Bliss and Randy Orton or do you want it insulted just a little bit at time like every amateur outlaw untrained goof making elementary mistakes every time they take a breath.

It's, it's, I prefer that. You want, I prefer that. Just little, just the Chinese water torture rather than a, right in the middle of the fucking face. All right.

Well, I can see that then. And, and you know, a lot of people now after we've spent this time talking about this abysmal program are going to say, well, they still like WWE better than,

you know, it's like, I don't, they don't listen. I don't. I will say it right here. I like AEW. better than WWE, but I think AEW kind of sucks too.

But I like it better than the really, really awful show. The big suckage. They don't listen anyway, because do you know what I had when we, I critiqued the legendary women's main event of Dr. Britt Baker and it's her goddamn name, Thunder Rosa. Thank you. You're welcome. Britt Baker and Thunder Rosa.

And everybody's, oh, well, he just hates women's wrestling. That's it. when the whole basis of my criticism, besides the fact I said they did a good job of what they did, but I hate these kind of matches, whether men or women do them, the whole basis of my criticism was comparing that match to another women's match that I did love,

that I was thrilled with, and thought it was the best thing on WrestleMania, and I elaborated the reasons why I loved that match, while did not love, didn't love this, one and why and they basically said my criticism of a women's wrestling match in favor of another women's wrestling match that I loved meant that I hate all women's wrestling. Did I get that about right? Yeah, someone actually emailed the drive-through.

I don't have it in front of me, but I saw it when I was going through emails before. And it said that if it was Terry Funk versus Jerry Law were in that match, you would have raved about it if it was exact same match. No, I wouldn't have because they never fucking powerbombed each other in thumbtacks. Their shit looked real. They were having a fight and the furniture got in the way. They didn't assist each other in setting the furniture up

so that they could assist each other and falling through it. There's a big difference. And whether it's men or women that do it, it's just that the only thing you see today is, garbage matches with furniture or brawl matches where they go out at ringside over and over because that's all they do, but they haven't figured out how to do them or why to do them or when to do them.

So therefore, no. I can honestly say that I would have blistered Jerry Lawler and Terry Funk also if they had stopped one of their incredible five-star matches to get a bag of thumb tax and spread it out in the middle of the ring and take turns taking bumps in it on purpose. To set up a table and then go back to the match?

You would have... Yeah. It's fucking ridiculous. Everybody's lost the plot. These fans that think somehow that this product is wrestling today remind me of basically of shit stain

because he never absorbed the context of wrestling. He just superficially watched a bunch of guys on a screen yelling at each other and every once in a while somebody'd get hit with a chair or a coconut and that's what he absorbed and that's all and so now it's not

wow, that was a great match because they had that street fight movie fight scene in the context of this incredible one take performance of a fight in front of thousands of people on all four sides with, you know, no net. It's, you get one take, it's live, you've got to be able to convince them.

And instead it's... Let's get coconuts in every scene. Yeah, let's get a bunch of knuckleheads out there setting up some fucking furniture and build some things in the ring so that we can take a big bump off the top of a ladder through it. Fucking idiots. Speaking of trains. You sent me the clip. of our friend Braun-Strauman,

I'm going to join with Shane McMahon. This guy has to be just a stupid son of a bitch. He really does. If I was a serious top main event star and competitor and some editor on the production team decided to drop in train choo-choo noises when I was doing my big run around the ring and shoulder tackle somebody's spot on television,

I would go and grab them by the neck and squeeze their breeches full. But apparently, Jesus Christ, I thought it was a rib. I thought that had been added in by some wise ass on the internet, but that's the way they aired

that segment of his match, was it not? That was the way it aired on Raw, allegedly, and I say that because I didn't watch because it's Raw, but as soon as it aired, immediately, like seconds later, the tweet started coming in. Oh my God, you have to show Jim Cornett this. And I'm thinking, what could it be?

And I started seeing choo-choo noises, train noises, sound effects. And I'm like, you know, I'm thinking, in what context? I mean, his gimmick isn't the train conductor. You know, like, how did this work? And then I saw it and I said, well, wait a minute. See, it's very close because train conductors say, all aboard. and people watching Braun-Stroman matches say, all are bored.

For the people who were lucky enough not to have witnessed this travesty. So Braun-Strauman's wrestling Elias and the other guy that's with him is on the outside, and this is at the behest of Shane McMahon, who's still milking that bad knee, so he doesn't get beat up by Braun-Stromen. and Stroman does the deal where he knocks the guys to the floor and he rolls out underneath the ropes and gets a head of steam up, he starts moving a little bit, and he runs around the ring and gives the big shoulder tackle, right?

And it's like a train running over you. And when he holds his hand up in the air and starts his little running in place thing to get his some momentum built up. And he goes, and in an empty building and sound effects now I expect to see like on Batman palp-splat bam on the screen

and here's the thing have you ever seen a shittier looking shoulder tackle in your life than what he gives these guys they're taking bumps flying over railings flying through tables act like they've been hit by a goddamn 18 wheeler, and he's barely touching them. The first one, the guy that went over the desk,

you saw he got his hands up and just pushed him over the desk. And then he runs around, he runs around to the other guy, and he barely grazes him with his shoulder, and the guy goes down like he's been hit by the fucking barge that's stuck in the Suez Canal. Has anybody bothered to tell him, hey, here's how you do a shoulder tackle?

pal or are they are they seeing something i'm missing can you you can see daylight coming through there and now that and it doesn't look like a train it looks like goddam fissure price fucking choo-choo toy now with sound effects now with sound effects that's right that was ridiculous who does that appeal to that's the other thing if the argument is oh well this is for kids I would get it. However, based on the demos we see, kids aren't really watching. That isn't the audience for Roy. It's older people.

Who is this for? What is the target audience for train noises? And do you also think this speaks towards the importance of high-speed rail in this country? I do. As a matter of fact, I think that immediately high-speed rail should be put in place, so anytime Braun-Strauman wrestles, I can get on one of them think, get as far away as possible. in a shortest period of time. And it,

but, and then of course, then Shane ran away. And they missed a golden opportunity because, of course, once that Stroman's got the guys down, and he's after Shane, Shane has to throw the, Shane hits him with the crutch and he doesn't sell it, and Shane has to run away on the bad knee,

they missed a golden opportunity if Shane had got to the stage and turned around and Stroman had called attention. to it and then Shane had looked down and realized oh shit I was running but he just acted like well everybody knew I was I was fucking ribbon anyway I don't I don't know I don't understand the whole

thing but now we've got sound effects do you think what you mentioned also about are they children the audience is not children but they just act like it wwee is adults performing wrestling for

a parent children and AEW is children performing wrestling for apparent adults. The WVE fans are watching WWE because they actually kind of liked wrestling and that's what they've got used to

and they want it to make sense and over on the other channel they're watching wrestling that they don't want to make sense. I don't know who the adults in this room on. Matt Riddle is no longer Matt Riddle. Now he's just Riddle.

Correct. And he's got no first name. He's riding around on a, on a scooter, not even a motorized scooter, but a little scooter that you put your foot on and push off with the other one and go budding, budding. And apparently, from now what I'm led to believe, also magically birds fly out of his ass.

Birds fly out of something. I'm going to pull up a clip so I can take a look at it, but I don't watch Raw, so I don't know for sure, but from what I've been told... He jumped up in the air, spread his legs out, exposing his taint and all of the surrounding area for everyone to see, and then birds flew out of his ass.

It's what I saw on television. Possibly they were... Oh, I didn't know you watched. Well, that's what I saw on the fucking clip from their television. and possibly they were birds that were hit by Braun-Strauman's Choo-Chu train? I don't know. Does he have a connection with, is he an ornithologist?

In his interview meeting with Vince, when he sat down and Vince said, tell me about yourself, is he the bird man of fucking cuckamonga or wherever he's from out in California? He's California sober. I see, that's a phrase now. Maybe that explains riddle. That's the riddle about riddle. California sober.

Why are birds flying out of his ass, Brian? Because Vince likes it. Vince likes it that way. I never once heard Vince McMahon say, you know, pal, you know what I like is when birds fly at somebody's ass? I never heard him say that.

They're spending money on this. That's not free. Well, they're not real birds. Let's just clarify. For anyone who doesn't watch the show. No, that's what I'm saying. They're computing. generated birds flying out of Matt Riddle's ass that they've obviously had some

television technician insert into his ass so that they can fly out when he jumps up and spreads his legs out in the air and that costs money so they spent money on their television program to have birds fly out of Matt Riddle's ass multi-colored birds too either that or they just shoved a bunch of white pigeons up there and he eats a lot of fucking Cheerios. Does he have a connection with birds? Well, I mean, he's kind of dizzy. So maybe there are birds circling around his head.

When I first read about it that there were birds in his entrance, that's what my first thought was. Vince thinks, this guy is some dizzy idiot. Let's have birds circling his head. Birds are intelligent creatures. Have you ever watched a bird build a nest? I have. I'm not indicting the birds.

I dare you to build a house in the same time it takes a bird to build his nest. Well, if it was the same size, that'd be one thing. But listen, I'm not indicting the birds. Well, don't indict the birds. I'm saying the birds will get even. You've seen that in cartoons. You've seen that in cartoons. You've seen that in cartoons where someone's a little ditsy and they have birds flying

around their head. That's what I thought it was before I saw it. And I realized they weren't flying around his head. I don't know what the world you're talking about. They're flying out of his ass. Ditzy birds. Not the, the birds aren't the ditsy ones. Well, then why are they flying around a ditsy guy?

unless they're ditsy too wouldn't you want to fly around a smart guy if you were a smart animal? I can't make sense of this. All right. So birds are flying out of Matt Riddle's ass. Anyway, he then,

and this was on Raw, and this was on live television, walks up to Aska and starts talking to her about his scooter and whether they'd like it in Japan, but he's got the scooter, he's got the scooter thing up between his legs like his giant dick.

And he's fondling the handle. He says, you think they'd like my scooter in Japan. And then he just started laughing and said, I'm sorry, and walked off. He forgot what he was going to say on live television and busted the take. And left Oscar of all people standing there looking like the smart one.

The face she made of the camera, like she had no idea what was going on. By the way, whatever dialogue he forgot, I promise you it wasn't Shakespeare. No, it wasn't going to be any good anyway, but at least he could have done it. Or if nothing else, if he forgot what he was going to say, just say, hey, just wanted to tell you, good luck, we're all counting on you and leave. But just to be an unprofessional jackoff and just laugh on live national television. Again, the Vince McMahon I knew 25 years ago would have looked at somebody at Gorilla and asked them how quickly that they could write that motherfucker out of every upcoming television program

that would ever be taped by that company ever ever but he they just oh he's so dull witted and slow and stupid and unprofessional that he can't come up with a way to say all right well see you later and pedal on his little scooter on off and scoot on out of there and scoot his ass on off. Fuck these guys. They think this is a goddamn joke. That's why it is. This will be a recurring theme

through the program. Every time we talk about these people, they think it's a joke, and they treat it like a joke, and that's why it's become a joke, and that's why nobody's watching. And if they think viewership is bad now, wait till people get another year or so of this shit. And it was Orton and the

fiend. And I'll say this about Randy Orton, he looks physically tremendous. They did a history package of this thing, which I didn't watch because I knew we were going to get Firefly Fun houses and flame throwers and et cetera. But I didn't want to see this to begin with,

whether it was cinematic or a match, because it's already been just so repugnant, this whole thing. They burned this guy alive in front of us, but supposedly now he's come back. So this is fake. And they're not really mad at each other. so why do I care? And Orton's in the ring and here comes the goofy music

and here comes fucking Alexa Bliss, ignorance is bliss, and she skips to the ring to the stupid music and then walks up to a giant jack in the box and turns the thing and the box pops open and out comes the fiend disproving my theory once and for all. Everybody who comes out of a box is not over. And he stood there and I,

I wrote at the time I'm giving this one more minute. And he stood there motionless for about 50 seconds and then dove off the box and jump started the match and did the thing where he wrenched Orton's neck. And Orton went down and sold it and everything stood still. And they kept the red light on. And Orton was selling. And nothing was moving. And nothing was happening.

And then Orton rolls out on the floor. so Feen jumps out there and they do a little fighting outside and Feene no-sells the suplex on the table and Feen no-cells the DDT and that's when Michael Cole refers to the box-like structure at ringside another way of phrasing a box-like structure would be a box

and Orton hits another DDT and then did you, after Orton hit the first DDT hit on the Feen the fiend popped right back up orton hits another ddt on him and then while the fiend is on his hands and he's getting up orton stomped his fingers now let me see just what we've watched fiend has been set on fire and burned alive fiend has had his head caved in with a goddamn sledgehammer fiend has been i think didn't he get hit by a moving vehicle of some description none of these things could stop him so orton goes to stomp his fingers.

Maybe he'll tickle him next. Tickle me, Elmo. The Feen didn't sell anything, barely anything happened. The red light makes this impossible to watch without getting a headache. He can't see what's going on. I wrote, why am I watching this? Flames shot from the ringposts suddenly. Oh, no, that's what.

The Fiend is going for his finish, Sister Abigail, on Orton. after almost nothing has happened. There's been so little wrestling, I can't even remember the last time that this little happened in anything ever. And then he's ready to give Orton his finish, but he looks up, flames shoot from the ringposts, and there's Alexa Bliss in the fiend's jack-in-the-box,

but she's sweating black shit, and it distracted the fiend from doing his finish, so then Orton gave Fiend an RKO one, two, three. He sold that, but why did his own girl distract him from giving Orton the finish?

Did you understand any of this? No, I have no idea what happened, why it happened, or any of the background. And I watched. And you watched it. And then Orton left, and then the lights went out as Fiend was staring at Alexa Bliss, the lights went out,

and when the lights came back on, they were all gone. Nobody was there. I wish that turned the lights back on, and all the fans had been gone, too. That would have showed them. So this was a complete waste of fucking time, and that's it for me, for the fiend or Alexa Bliss, and probably Randy Orton forever.

WrestleMania or... And Randy Orton's one of the best fucking talents in the industry. But I don't want to see... and one of my boys, but I don't want to see him anymore because of the things they've done to him. And I will never watch anything involving this fucking fiend or this Alexa Bliss again. Just, no, this is the stupidest shit I've ever seen in my life. A lot of people have been curious if you will take back your claim that anyone who comes out of a box gets over. As I just mentioned, it disproved my theory earlier.

Because, but he didn't really come out of the box. he was coaxed no fuck now fuck all of this just all of this just everything that happened here it was all rotten and we don't ever want to think

about it ever again so night one ends with this amazing moment Bianca Belair wins the world title she's emotional her family are at ringside you see her crying it's like wow you know

wrestling can be powerful and good who opens up with this. Yeah. This was really bad. Embarrassingly bad. And they've painted themselves into a corner where now this fiend is not going to make any sense no matter of what he does. Because they've already, you can kill him but not hurt him.

But then you can give him an RKO and he'll stay down. But then he doesn't sell this. So none of his... Well, he lost his power. Apparently, I mean, if I'm just going to try to guess based on this garbage, the fiend lost some of his powers when... the black ooze started coming out of Alexa's forehead. I don't know. Maybe old blade marks, I'm not sure.

But once that happened, it appeared the fiend lost his power other than his power to disappear. And that's why Randy Orton was able to beat him with a rather pedestrian RPA-O. I'm going to watch Alexa Bliss the first time that black shit comes out of her minge. Let me know. Otherwise, she's on my band. list. Just like that word on YouTube. None of this is making YouTube here.

Oh, whoa. All right. It wouldn't be black. Maybe just be brown with green puss. Anyway, what? So, we're now Bailey butts in on Hulk Hogan,

Titus O'Neill, and Eric Bischoff. With Hogan there, that was probably one of the deals. He's like, Bischoff is like Hogan's little dog pockets. He's one of the best friends. So if Hogan's around Bishop, and he has to get his podcast plugged, somebody's got to do it.

But Bailey again, she's being treated like a nobody, she's a social climber, she's lost her fucking marbles, I don't know what's going on. There was a girls tag team match with Nea Jax and Tamina both involved.

And that was an excellent thing because I needed to make up some time, to be able to meet our recording schedule, and apparently this took quite a while because it took quite a while on speed search for me to get safely past it. Anyway, speaking of keeping going,

I almost didn't at this point coming up next because that's when John Morrison goes to find the lumberjacks locker room and opens the door and it's full of zombies. We'll have more on that later. Because then they go directly like, after you see a room full of zombies, zombies. Then they go to the Uso's in Raines locker room talking real seriously about family

drama and we're supposed to take that seriously after we've just seen a room full of zombies. So by them not even being able to fucking format this show properly, they have to put guys that are on in the main event angle of the top guy in the company right after a room full of zombies. Just to make sure that we remember that nothing you are to see tonight is in any way serious or important or you shouldn't give a shit.

Hey, you know who should be pissed off, Roman Raines? Exactly. Remember that pay-per-view you turned off because of Alexa Bliss versus Randy Orton? Yeah, and missed Roman Reins and Daniel Bryant because I was so disgusted. This one, there was a zombie we'll talk about it.

Yeah. And then Roman Rains having again, not to play spoiler, a fantastic wrestling match. They keep doing it to this guy. Roman Raines, and Heyman ought to be pissed off, but he's not going to fucking register that because he knows the cause is lost,

but it's, you know, he obviously knows Paulie's maybe the smartest guy there at this point. He knows that it just makes Raines look like a goddamn goof to be, if Sir Lawrence Olivier and Lord Michael Redgrave had a brilliant rendition

of a Shakespearean drama as the last act on your fucking kids fifth grade school play would that be doing Redgrave and Olivier any favors or would that setting bring their performance down I think the setting would bring their performance down because everybody

be sitting there going, why are these guys trying to be so serious? This is a fifth grade fucking play. Anyway, and then after the Uso's talk, Morrison is back telling Ms. that the lumberjacks are zombies, and of course, Ms. doesn't believe him, because

Ms. has been more fortunate than the rest of us. He didn't see this shit to begin with, but as they leave, then the camera pans over and the zombies walk through including zombie Elvis. And nominally, this was a lumberjack match. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Including zombie Elvis.

It was a lumberjack match with Damien Priest against the Miz. And this is why I feel bad for guys that actually, the few guys that still want to get in this business. Because Damien Priest has been around for a while. We found out he's, you know, he's in his 30s. He's worked hard. Obviously, he's transformed his body. And he's really got not only the personality of a star, the promo of a star, but he can work.

We've been a fan of his. So just to make sure that he doesn't become the next face of the company, the next big star, they decide just because Dave Batista, who's never going to come back and fart in their face, whether they want him to or not, just because his movie is buying advertising, they got to bury a guy that might in the future be another star of the level of a Batista or all the ones they've lost just to fucking do this stupid comedy movie plug tie-in that some of their fucking comedy writers that if they were ever to be walking through the men's locker room or feeling a woman's private parts they'd be whistling stranger in paradise

just because they think it's fucking funny. So, obviously, the zombies surrounded the ring. The announcers got scared and left, and they had smoke and weird music, and Ms. and Morrison, well, Ms. has never been alive to be killed off, but Morrison, I've always liked, but they're complete fucking bumblefucks now. They're acting afraid of the phony zombies.

And the bell rang, and their newest star, Damien Priest is now completely worthless. Might as well pack up and go home and work at a goddamn car wash. Because he's in the middle of this shit and he's not a star yet. He should be and he would have been, but they've decided that he's one they're going to sacrifice for their dumb movie tie-in. So here's the problem. They think they're so fucking got their heads so far up their ass that the

WWE is the biggest company, publicly traded company and biggest wrestling promotion in the world, and we are bringing wrestling forward. And they said that AEW set wrestling back 30 years, which they do, but not for the reasons that the WW people said. AEW has set wrestling back 30 years for the same reason that the WWE has set wrestling back 30 years. Actually, since more people view the WWE matches, they've set wrestling back 50 years. They've set it back far enough

that it'll never recover both of those companies and not with blood or chair shots to the head with fucking phoniness burning people alive pulling out their ping pong ball eyeballs, zombies,

crash pads transformations in ice machines, teleportations, obviously phony shit is what sets wrestling back, and both companies do it. You know what we need? We need more blood and violence in a convincing fashion done by professionals as part of an

angle or the story of a fucking match. Not the death match bullshit, which is just as phony in its own way. A bunch of mutants, a bunch of fucking scummy human beings, trash, mutant, mutant freak organisms bashing each other over the head in an obvious cooperation fest just to do it while another bunch of scummy, disgusting, scum-sucking pond dwellers watch it, and some fucking avaricious and greedy fucking slime ball promotes it, that's just as phony because it doesn't look anything like a contest or a struggle. it looks like two fucking meth heads bashing each other over the head with shit and cutting each other open.

Not that kind of blood and violence. We don't need any more phony shit of any of this. We don't need phony silly. We don't need phony comedy. We don't need phony bloody. We don't need phony violent. What we need is somebody to take this shit seriously and somebody to present it seriously and athletes to have a goddamn match that you could fucking believe

or not be slapped in the face with that it's bullshit. So as far as what I'm concerned is both these companies and every other wrestling promotion in America to this point and the world does in 90% of its activity is set the business back.

I can't even say back 50 years because 50 years ago would have been 1961 and the fucking business was drawing crowds through the roof. Rogers and O'Connor in fucking Chicago drew 40,000 people. So no, it's not even setting the business back. It's just putting the boots to its corpse.

Everything is phony and silly in its own way. And if you're not trying to make this believable, newsflash, morons, there's no reason to do it. Which is why it's such a goddamn chore for me to watch any of this shit anymore. Because you can't believe. believe any of it, even if you try,

they will fucking kill your buzz in a heartbeat with more of this entertainment, phony, bullshit characters, blah, blah, blah. So that's what I think of your fucking zombies. I think that nobody

on the W.W.E. fucking writing staff needs to worry about zombies because zombies eat brains. So therefore, they're invulnerable, that writing staff. And if I was there right now, I would go up to Vince McMahon, and I would say, well, much as that fucking idiot that you used to employ cost you $5 million in one night 25 years ago

when he killed off Dr. Death with his stupid fucking brawl for all tournament, some fucking moron in your advertising department just ruined Damien Priest's career where you could have made a fortune off of him because he was standing in the middle of this horse shit. but apparently nobody wants to tell Vince the shocking, awful, horrible truth that's right under their fucking noses. So after I finished writing notes on everything that I just said, I looked up and the zombies were eating the Miz. So if he's really gone, it wasn't a total loss. But if he comes back, I'm going to assume that either Miz had a twin brother or those weren't real zombies. Imagine that.

They sacrificed David. Damien Priest for a movie sponsorship and kill the rest of their fucking program where some guys were actually working hard. But would you want to follow zombies eating one of the fucking wrestlers even if you were in the main event on a pay-per-view, Brian, or would you want to get on before that and get the fuck out

for you got any on you? Yeah, I would want nothing to do with any of this. And that was my feeling. So there's the review that everybody's been waiting for. This is why they sit here and wait for these reviews, because we can't even enjoy watching a wrestling program anymore. So the only thing we can do is make fun of it. I will say the zombies adhered to the lumberjack rules.

They stayed out of the ring until there was a finish, and then they came in the ring, so they rather well-behaved set of zombies in WWA. No one went in the ring until after the match was over. Well, as a matter of fact, you have a good point there. They're better behaved than most of the talent roster. They're at ringside. They don't get involved.

They mind their own zombie business. I will say, Jim, there is a popular topic that a lot of people are talking about this morning. And this is one of those casualties of you and I both completely dismissing Raw and never watching it. We have to play catch-up now. But apparently there was a match. and I'm just seeing clips of it now. Charlotte Flair versus Nia Jaxx.

I believe Charlotte was the women's champion coming out of the pay-per-view we reviewed. And without knowing too much about it and haven't really watched it too much, people were sending in comments thinking it was a shoot. Have you seen this at all? Well, no, here's what we're going to do, because my Twitter was inundated

when I got up this morning with people, Charlotte and Nia Jax shoot fight on Raw. or shoot question mark or the word shoot was being bandied about and the the clips that I'm not going to go into too much detail at the head of this thing is we're going to dissect this in intricate detail but the clips that I saw I'm fucking dying because no no they didn't have a shoot what they had was an old-fashioned four-finger stinker and it's just it's that I guess a lot of people have romanticized the idea of shooting and we've talked about this before

but we've got so many new listeners shooting or did it turn into a shoot or I'm shooting when I'm telling the truth or they don't know that there are degrees of shoot or friendly shoots or stages or just lack of cooperation or just lack

of coordination or just there are a number of stages of something breaking down without it being a shoot but from the clips that I saw I don't know that that many have ever happened in the same match or not this

I've said this before Nea Jacks is the plowboy Frazier of women pro wrestlers there was a there was a there was only one plowboy was around for years and years, and he made some money in places or drew some money to play. He had spot in the WWF, but I only saw him have good matches with one human being ever in the history of wrestling,

and that was Lawler, because he was the magician, and he had the key to unlock every door. But otherwise, short of them booking her against Jerry Lawler, which I'm sure the king would probably refuse that particular assignment, I don't know. I can't explain how she has managed to persevere this long on that roster when other people have come and gone and been asked to leave. Can you? Who's her cousin?

Well, at some point, fuck, didn't we had a few fucking ancillary members of the Samoan family, I think, at one time or another in various training programs and they didn't all make it, but, And that's before any of them started making big motion pictures. Well, that's true. And she's not just a member of the Simone family. It's Dwayne Johnson. Well, that's true. Oh, sweet God. I mean, at this point, should the rock stage an intervention, Nia, whatever,

Uso, Cus, whatever, you know. They just signed another fat, too. Did you see that? well I mean there's a there's a bunch of fatu's that are a lot better workers than ni'a jacks so I'm not against signing a fatu no I'm just saying they didn't sign Jacob fatu it was a different I'm just the one guy out but anyway I'm not going to go well we're we're going to be going into a different direction but I asked you and I saw a clip on two clips a shorter one and a longer one on Twitter and you

got a clip of this match because I I hipped you to it or pipped you to it or peeped you to it or how do the kids say it? I told you about it. Or that, yes. Yeah. And so we neither one have seen this thing in its entirety, but we thought for the people, it might be an idea if we watched this and reacted in live real time to seeing the entire thing in context developing in full.

Because as I mentioned before, I think it's only natural to bring up a classic ghost to Mr. Chicken, quote, the horribleness and awfulness of this may never be forgotten. Well, it may not be forgotten because I was shocked to see, you know, people started sending me images, but I hadn't watched it. I didn't realize it would be 12 minutes. How does it go for that long? Geez. Well, no, this has got to be inferences too, right?

So. I don't know. Well, we're going to find out on this thing because it could be even more rotten than we imagine, but we're going to talk about the rottenness. of it and then we're going to as we watch it unfold in front of our eyes I've got my bleach right here standing by in the bottle

and then we're also afterwards we're going to talk about the implications possibly of this and or why the fuck would they do this that type of thing we're going to flesh it out with panel discussion with you and me after we watch this thing right? Right the same panel

that's been here for the entire run of the show. We're going to we're going to have a panel discussion, you and me. Okay. If the other people on the panel are just shut up, we'll have a real nice discussion between ourselves. You know, that's what we ought to do sometime. We ought to just announce we've got a panel show and every top of every show,

I introduce you and you introduce me and then we both introduce two or three other guests, but they're not there. And then we just do the show and nobody else ever speaks. Can we advertise that, you know, this week's panel, includes, you know, Jim Cornett, Barack Obama, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, what, no, we could just do it like

prospective guests, Barack Obama, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charles Manson, whatever, then introduce them, but they just don't have anything to add to the conversation and they never speak. It's something we might get back to with what if you take one celebrity who doesn't like

wrestling and you put him with one random wrestler that you pick? Well, but then we've actually got to do it. That is a good show, actually. Well, yeah, but I'm just trying to jack off here now. All right. Are we going to get back to this, Naya Jackson, Charlotte, Abominathan? Well, I can tell you, I won't be jacking off to this match.

And even if you're in San Diego. Even if I'm in San Diego, but we have this. And again, we, you don't want to watch the three-minute version. You want to watch this whole thing? No, we got to watch this whole thing in context and see what's going on here. And so we can report to the people. And now, folks, we're not encouraging you to watch this. We're just going to give you our impressions from seeing this together,

Brian and I, for the very first time, you don't need to seek it out. We'll probably give you a good idea. But if you want it, by our description, you want to watch it. It was on Raw on August the 30th. The 30th, yes. A day that will live in infamy.

All right. Well, if you want to do it, we have a link here that is a Maximally 12 minutes. We're going to, not a traditional watch-along, we're actually watching it for the first time in real time. Yes. And we don't care whether anybody sinks this up or not, because it's not worth that, but it might be worth a tickle. Well, Jim, as we said before, we have this entire video here. Apparently 12 minutes. We have it queued up so we can watch. And this is 12 minutes from the opening bell, too, now we have confirmed. So this could be interesting. This certainly could be. And we're going to press play. Of course, this is. not the traditional watch along.

You can find it. You can do it, whatever you want. Just imagine it in your minds, ladies and gentlemen. That's right. But Jim, if you're ready, let's press play on three. And then I'll say press play now. And then you press play. I remember how you do.

Damn it. Just fucking. Just do it. One, two, three, press play now. Boom. All right. And Naya Jacks charges at Charlotte. Charlotte bails to the floor and gives her a woo.

Nothing out of the way so far. No, it looks like a traditional beginning of a wrestling match. Charlotte acting like a heel. I'm wondering if maybe they've made some kind of agreement. They're going to try out their Brazilian jiu-jitsu tactics. No, Naya runs for her again. Charlotte bails out again. I don't know what Naya was grabbing for there.

Well, she was trying to grab and hold up at the same time. We have not seen a lot of manual dexterity in the past from Miss Jacks. No, manual dexterity is not frequently spoken of. And right now in that outfit that's mostly black leather, she's got lightning bugs circling around her. She's so big.

Now, there is a little bit of mouthing off. I mean, we don't know what they're saying. It could be just working on. Well, no, they're, they're, it's a match. There's a lockup. They're trash talking and a lockup. Charlotte's trying, but obviously Nia Jack's standing her ground because she's as big as a refrigerator. And now she backs

Charlotte to the ropes. Nice lockup. Continuing the lockup, apparently somebody was trying to say something that somebody wasn't here and Charlotte just yanked her hair and she swatted at Charlotte.

Are they a shoulder tackle that doesn't work and some mean faces and trash talking? Try again with a shoulder. Ah, but Charlotte goes the kick to the leg. she's going to work the leg because she's a flare. Charlotte hooks her for what looks like a vertical suplex, but obviously that's not going to work.

I would imagine Nia Jax would reverse that. They're both jockeying for position, and they're both hammering each other in the midsection. Charlotte spins out, and Nia Jax gives her a headbutt. So far, this is one of those bowling shoe matches. Are they potentially working that there's no cooperation? What do you think, Brian?

I think that is certainly. potentially what's happening here. It doesn't look like an outright shoot. I've seen a couple times where very quickly in the ring, it's turned into one. This doesn't look like it so far. We're trying to figure out whether this is the match that they've planned in the back and they're disagreeing on what came next at one point.

And there's a big splash in the corner by Nia, Naya or Nia? I never remember. Nia Jax. And now she's... Oh. Wiggling and slapping her butt. I guess that's a thought. She's going to, boom!

Run into the corner, but Charlotte slips out and gives her the boots to the stomach that she's covering up for. But not covering up like the real covering up like she doesn't know how to work. She doesn't know how to sell either. Yeah, and Charlotte's got a headlock, and Charlotte is trying to go down to a knee and ground her because it looks like that they need a conference. And she's jerking Naya Jackson into position. so that some information can be imparted one way or the other. It looks like Charlotte's trying to impart it.

Nia Jax tries to shoot her off. Charlotte holds onto the headlock. Perhaps they haven't agreed on the last phases of the spot yet. So now Nia Jack's going to shoot her off again, and now she goes. And a tackle, and Charlotte goes down, sells her head. So it took Niajax that long to get one tackle. Oh my God Now I see why it was 12 minutes

And and you know Now Nia Jax hammers her and shoves her around He's getting some heat on her and wants her to go down Apparently face first but I don't know what that Movement was It's just It's like Nia Jax is trying to throw people around But she doesn't know how to grab them and let them go

She shoves them in a direction that they don't know what the fuck's going on. Charlotte fighting back with back elbows. Naya misses the rush in the corner. And Charlotte tries to shoot her off and is supposed to get reversed and Naya picks it up on it finally so Charlotte can do her upside down, block a thing,

grab Naya while she's standing over the ropes and bend Nia jacks back over the ropes in a reverse front face lock. That's pretty cool. This is the match they've called. It's just Charlotte apparently is having to call it again as they go and at like on that reversal

she had to start reversing herself for Jack's picked up on it but now Charlotte's getting some fucking heat on is Nia Jack supposed to be a baby face that's what I was thinking before when I said Charlotte's the heel she's acting like a heel at the beginning does that mean Nia's the baby face I assume

although watching this on mute she's certainly not acting like a baby face well and and also she's twice as big Charlotte jumps up on Nia Jax's back and gets a chin lock on her. And she's giving her the shoulder ride. So I guess Nia Jack can mare her over as she just did. So Charlotte fed her that.

This is just an ugly fucking match. This is not a, oh, and Nia Jax just gave her a spine buster that she didn't really want to take. That was the worst spine buster ever. Well, yeah, that she put her foot down before and now Charlotte's rolled out. because she didn't I don't Yeah let's replay that Why'd you replay that spine buster

Jesus But I got to admit You know having a match And now Charlotte's bailed out on the floor And she's walking around And she's taking her time And I see why Having a match with somebody like this

Is trying to do wrestling moves To a couch They're so big You can't do anything with them If they're not fluid enough To go with it or to be there Oh now Charlotte pulled the rope down

Kind of Jacks could go out through the ropes. Charlotte dives over the top, cross-body, on 10-9, Jax goes down. Maybe they've, they've captured a bit of it here. Now, that's not so bad. And they went to a break. And just so you know, this is Oklahoma City. Oh, boy. And the people are sitting on their hands. They went to a break. Oh, my God. When they came back, they went to break on the only good move I've seen the crossbody over the top when they come back Nia Jax just picks Charlotte up instead of a belly to back suplex just picked her up and dropped her backwards which was reckless but I don't know if she knows how to do it any other way

and Nia Jax's with a kind of shitty forearms and she's smiling and she charges and Charlotte moves Nyjax's shoulder into the post and she like a harpooned whale blubbers back into the ring once again working they're working the whole time they're working just not well I mean and Nia Jackson is not working very well and neither one of them is working very well with each other

Charlotte's trying Charlotte is climbing up is she going to go for a moonsault she's on the top rope and she moonsaults and Nia Jax barely got knees up so Charlotte sold it because it was kind of close and Nia Jax

oh my God! picked her up and gave her the sloppiest Samoan drop right on her left shoulder that I've ever seen and Nia Jax goes for the big leg drop in Charlotte, thank God gets out of the way at a big boot to the face, which was safe. And she was trying to go for a cover, but Nia Jax beat her to her feet. And she was trying to tell her something and said, I'll fucking just stood up and smacked her in a face. And Naya says, you smack me in the face? And now they're pissed.

and Naya grabbed Charlotte's hair and Charlotte bows up at her and she's like, okay, are we going to fucking do this now? And boom, and now they're goddamn, no, they're not fighting, but they're just pissed at each other. And now... They're fighting. It's not a hardcore fight, but they're fighting for a moment.

Yeah, they're they're pissed. Naya went for the fucking, to pick her up for the deal. But Charlotte didn't want to go. So then Charlotte hit the ropes and went up for her own fucking, she's trying to get on Naya's shoulders. And I don't know how to fucking get her back. And they don't know what the fuck they're doing. It's all falling apart now. And now it's completely fallen of this makes Charlotte Flair's dad and J. Y.D. looked like Charlotte Flair's dad and Steamboat. And Charlotte went for a cover and Nia Jacks kicked out because now they've realized

they've lost control of this whole match. They got pissed off and smacked. each other a couple times to wake each other up supposedly because I'm sure Naya Jacks doesn't believe she's to blame and now they're going back to the match which already sucks and they've still got to fucking get this finish in whatever it may be and now they're just mulling all that over in their heads because they haven't touched in 45 seconds and now they get back up and Charlotte goes for the chop block because Naya was standing there waiting on it and now Charlotte's trying to work on the fucking leg doing the

god damn it's like doing wrestling moves to a fucking waterbed and so Charlotte tries the ground and pound and she's she just half-heartedly kicks the leg she's like what else can I do to this fucking giant tree trunk leg on this immobile fucking opponent that has already fucked this fucking thing up royally she's right now trying to remember Tony Kahn's phone number

yes and now she's and she yanked the leg and she shoves the Nia Jackson the back of the head a couple times. And now she wiggles her butt and slaps her butt like Naya was doing earlier. Nia, oh, but she goes for the figure four step over. She gets kicked off Charlotte does into the buckle. And now Nia Jaxes up and kind of limping on the leg that they've been working on. And the referee just touched his fucking hip, which is where his IFB control is.

And he said, okay, you guys can go. go anytime. And the fans haven't moved. And the fans are encased. And what did they encase the villains in when they sent them to the Phantom Zone? And Nia Jack's boom picks her up kind of a half-choked slam. Oh, my God. And pinned her.

It was like a half-choke-slam, half-power bomb. And Nia-Jack pinned Charlotte 1-2-3 and got up walked off and she knows that she just laid a turd on national television and Charlotte's still laying there because she wants to be dead. She is probably dying of mortified embarrassment. And now they replay the kickoff into the turnbuckle and they replay the half power bomb, half choke slam that she just smacked her with. That's, that may be what she was trying to go for before and it wasn't yet and Charlotte was trying to get out of it or something. I don't fucking know.

That's the worst match I've ever seen. It was twice as long as Linda Miles' match on OVW television and this was on national TV. And none of this is Charlotte's fault. You can't watch this and say any of this is Charlotte's fault. What the fuck was the thought? If that had gone according to plan what the fuck the thought was of that finish. All right.

We've seen it all. now. And I mean literally. Let me get the taste out of my mouth on that. Holy Jesus Christ. Can I just real quick before we move on with the show? Yes. My Survivor series notes, you know, you take notes. I usually don't. I did for this one. I wrote five things down. My five takeaways from Survivor Series as they were happening. Number one, the rock. We just talked about that.

Yeah. Number two, mysterious chants. We talked about that. That's why I thought we should go through this now. Number three, the camera work. which is so counterproductive and so bad. The moving too much, the switches nonstop. The guy throws a punch. By the time he lands the punch, it's a different camera shot.

Right. It's so bad. Roman yelling at no one during the main event. I'm sure we'll get there. And then Vince's eye job and Botox. Well, let's go ahead and talk about it now. Then I'm not concerned about the eye job and the Botox. I started to say the

Bojob and the I-Tox The Bo-Job The Bo-Job in the I-Tag I'm not I'm what's happened to his voice Is he Is he losing some cognitive He seemed like when he was sitting there talking

Like when Roman Rains came in the office And they shook hands That he was staring off camera At either is it a I'd hesitate to say a cue card Or just is he looking at himself on a monitor or he wasn't looking at the person he was talking to and he mumbles and he and he doesn't really from the rock rock yes it's just it's grumbling and mumbling and

i mean he used to be the not only the forceful voice but to get to the point voice and the and now i i'm struggling to understand what he's saying i so that worries me as far as and when he got out of the limo and he held the the egg up and and all the hold on someone listening may have no idea

what you're talking about when you say the egg all right apparently one of the plot points in the red notice movie is they've got this golden egg and I don't know if it's the central thing in the theme of the movie or what maybe Alfred Hitchcock would call it the McGuffin

it's just the reason for other things to happen but the egg figured in the cold open because it figures in the movie and then Vince a limousine shows up as you mentioned and people are there

well maybe is it the rock maybe it's the rock the guy they've been building up the whole show yeah no it's Vince Vince gets out of the limo but then there's a bunch of the talent that didn't make the card standing in the back

and as soon as they see it's Vince they scream and yell and pop with the fakest yay he's here that you've ever heard in your life and then he goes, wait, wait, wait. And he reaches in and he comes out with this egg like he shows it like it's the goddamn

I don't know the arc of the covenant and then they don't pop right away so he has to wave on camera come on and then they pop and scream again and then he walks off like he's doing a parody of what Vince used to do and so that's the egg and then the egg

is it I guess we'll just get rid of all the egg business now and then we'll just go through the matches later on Roman Raines comes into Vince's office they shake hands and that's where I mentioned Vince is mumbling and whatever but he's talking about the egg was given to him by the rock and

he was hundred million dollars he was he was trying to tell some and I've never heard Vince not be able to explain a story or this is the guy that could talk anybody in the wrestling business

including me he's done it too he could talk anybody in the wrestling business out of doing something they wanted to do and instead make them want to do something that he wanted them to do and now he can't convey this story he was trying to say that

the rock came here Roman's cousin was $7 in his pocket, seven bucks productions, and now he's a movie star, but at the same time he gave Vince this egg, I swear to God, Vince says the egg is worth $100 million. If they, I guess the Rock could give somebody

something worth a couple of million dollars and not really probably feel it too bad, but if he gave it to him 25 years ago or whatever he just said he just had $7 in his pocket a minute ago so when did he get this after he became a movie star well he hadn't been in the WWF you see where I'm going to it made no sense and it's a hundred million dollar egg is what Vince is saying

so they couldn't even say it's worth a million dollars which would have been fine for this because nobody's going to believe it anyway but they have to really get the fucking scoff laughing going so then later on Adam Pierce and Sonia DeVille are sitting in Vince's office and Vince walks in with his red cell phone in his hand and sits down and starts talking to him and looks over and the egg is gone

and I don't know what it is about Survivor Series and eggs with Vince and it's not like they wrote this from scratch because the movie had to have an egg in it But the movie came out with an egg in it, perfect time to sponsor Survivor Series. So 35 years after they laid the first egg, they could lay another one. And so now the egg is gone.

And he tells Cruella DeVille and Adam Pierce, well, if you can't find the egg, then everybody has to get together all the stars from Raw and Smackdown tomorrow. And I'm saying this with more forcefulness than he did. And we're going to get to the bottom of this, and I'm going to find my egg. My $100 million egg.

Can you believe? believe this. No, no, we can't, Vince. And it turns out when he's looking for his $100 million egg, that's his nickname for Linda. Hey! I would think she would be the $100 million anchor. But anyway, so this fucking egg is worth $100 million dollars and is missing, and they tease on a pay-per-view, they tease the resolution on Raw the following night, which which basically, let's go ahead and reveal the climax of this ridiculousness. They had everybody going through looking like idiots trying to find this $100 million egg and looking for that everybody's got to play along with this thing.

And then apparently Austin Theory just walked into Vince's office and said, hey, Vince, I want to take a selfie with the egg. I got it. It's right here. Oh, well, I like the cut of your gym. Contract, they put him in a time. Yeah, they put him in a time. Title match.

Title match. Biggie and title match are raw. And that was the dispensation of it. You know, that was, no, oh my God, line him up and shoot him at sunrise. He stole my $100 million. Oh, you wanted a selfie? Okay.

You got guts. Here, here's a title match. Thank you for my egg. Ah, egg. I got to stop doing that voice. What did they say to you? you, you know, Austin Theory sold the egg. This is a big moment, like, who ran over the rock and, you know, all these various

mysteries and wrestling. Do you think, I mean, you talked about what you saw in Austin Theory when we started watching him in NXT? Yeah. Before all the silliness and whatever he's wearing now, when we just saw the raw talent as it was appearing on NXT, obviously Vince sees something in him? Yeah. I mean, is that what this is?

Is this Vince's way of saying, I see something, can you take my egg? Like, we'll do this on TV. I guarantee you it is. Why would they do this? What is this? I guarantee you it is. And now you see a lot of people have seen the danger of Vince not seeing anything in them. Now you see the danger of Vince seeing something in you. Because I said Austin theory all around from top to bottom from what I saw in NXT for a guy, what is he, 21 years old or whatever the case.

He's young, yeah. the best instincts, timing, basics, flawless, you know, fucking execution of shit. He's a prodigy. He's got the size, got the look, got the swagger to him. So, yeah, he's a future superstar. And, I mean, say what you want about Vince,

even if he's in the advanced stages of brain rot, he's seen a lot of wrestling talent. he can still see it. So now the problem is he's probably seen this in Austin theory also, and he's decided this is the way that he might get him over. He, I don't, hopefully we've seen the last of the egg.

Certainly we've seen the last of the egg. I love my egg. Rock. It's like they just pushed him onto the set. Here, go this way. Sit down. Now read these cards. Like Bob Hope.

He's looking at the cute cards. Oh my God. Hey, you know, toward the end, they They were contractually, do you know what story I'm going to tell? I think so, but they were contractually obligated on the tonight show to bring Bob Hope out once or twice a year whenever, because Bob Hope was NBC for 20 years, right? But then Johnny Carson took over as Bob's health was failing and the ratings were going down on the holiday specials and the tributes to the troops and everything.

and Hope was both nearly deaf and surly on these appearances. So Carson hated it and would then finally had to have Hope on when there were guest hosts because he couldn't get a flow of a conversation with him because Hope either couldn't hear him or didn't want to answer the question and was just grumpy with everybody. And it appears that Vince is entering that stage of the fucking game. I got to tell you. Egg. So anyway,

so Austin got the egg. But back to Survivor Series. You sent me the clip of Vince McMahon and Austin Theory on Raw. And everybody remembers that as soon as I saw Austin Theory in

NXT, I said, my God, this guy is a future superstar. I'm not talking about it. I don't know what they'll do with him with his booking. But at his age, he's what, he's early 20s. He's got the size, got the physique. He's an amazing natural

worker to me. When I watch him, he's picked up the little things. Not only basics, but I'm talking about things you can't teach, just natural reactions and the little things that go on in the ring with a really natural worker.

I think he's got everything, right? He just needs to get bigger and blossom. So naturally, the only thing worse than Vince not seeing anything in him, apparently is Vince seeing something in him. Because now on Raw, he's been taken under Vince's way. He was the guy that stole the $100 million golden egg.

My egg. My egg, yes. And then brought it back with basically no punitive measures after Vince was ready to, eviscerate whoever had stolen it, but he took it because he wanted a selfie with it. So now Vince likes his spunk. Like her spunk, kid. Say it for me.

Spunk on my egg. And so now he's doing recurring things with Vince, which, Ed, I saw this clip. Austin Theory is doing everything he can with what he's being given to work with, but basically he's sitting there and having to react to things Vince is saying rather than saying his own shit and therein lies the problem is he's just standing there

sitting there at the desk with Vince nodding up and down when Vince does what you're doing I'll say and he's slouched over I mean I'll let you keep going Well, I just, you know, I just, that's the thing is that what you're in person, I don't know whether you're doing an impersonation of Vince or whether Vince was doing an impersonation of you doing an impersonation of Vince or whatever, but you sound clearer than he does.

You know, it's a pencil, yeah, a pencil, you know, a pencil. And the whole subject matter of this was Vince basically saying, I'm going to show you, Austin Theory. not nearly this clear. The most dangerous weapon in the world, and he pulls a pencil out of his fucking desk drawer, and he says, not this end, the point, but this end, the erasers, the old eraser, the booker has the pencil, and the pencil has the eraser.

It's an inside wrestling joke that's 75 years old, but the performance of this is what we've got to talk about, and I'm not trying to make fun of Vince, because now this is, sad because I know everybody has to age and everybody has to get older. And I am too. And that's another reason I can't do the shit I used to do, which is another reason why I'm not trying to do it.

But this is sad because Vince used to be the guy with the booming voice, the authoritarian stentorian tones, the projection. you could hear Vince, when he was walking down the hall in Titan Tower with anybody with him, he was still working. He was having a walking meeting. And if you were in your office, you know, 50 feet down the hallway, you could tell Vince was at the elevator. Because you could hear it, pal. Hey, pal. Yeah, we're going to put this on, hey, how you doing there, chief?

How you doing, Strongbow? Whatever. And he was a pronunciation freak to the point where. if you said WWF he would if he was anywhere around he would go ballistic

if you go back in the especially in the early and mid-90s when JR came in and I came in and Lawler came in probably the only thing that none of us had a southern accent on

until Jared is Bell's palsy was the phrase WWF because he would make you stop and do it again if it wasn't live if you said W instead of W. It's W. W. W. F. But now. I hate George W. Bush.

It's W. I can't understand what Vince is saying. And I had to watch this twice to pick it all up. And it's not only is he not projecting, but you can tell he, as you may, as you may, mentioned he's kind of stooped over, but he just doesn't have the force behind his words. He doesn't have the surety, the assuredness behind his what he's going to say. He's kind of mumbling around about it. He knows in his mind what he's trying to do, I'm pretty sure.

But it's not coming out like the old Vince. And, you know, it's a lot of people that are, is there any, new WWE fans? Are they all just flooding away or are some coming in? Anybody that sees Vince over the last year or two maybe and any time in the future is going to wonder for the first time. They're going to wonder, well, this is the Vince McMahon I've heard all about. He's just, I mean, if there's no, there's no force there, there's no life there, he's trying to tell this story that he gets, but other people ain't getting it.

And it's not good, I don't think. And I'm not taking pleasure in saying that. But, you know, at some point, please, Vince, you've got all the money, all the property, all the, go put your feet up, relax, have somebody else do something. You know, it's sad at this point. Yeah. And, you know, beyond the way he appears and the way he sounds, he's lost his ability, at least to me, to be captivating. It's more of a freak show. I'm watching it like, I can't believe this is Vincent's Man.

I can't believe he allows himself to be seen like this on TV. His posture, his makeup. I don't know what has happened to his face. Oh. But it looks like he visited Madonna's plastic surgeon. He looks weird. You can't understand what he's saying. and it takes him longer to do what it used to take him

a shorter period of time to do it. It feels like in the segment. Yes, that's it. It's just, it's not coming out. It's dragon. And you mentioned the word captivating. Regardless of what Vince was doing, even if it was preposterous in the attitude era when he was on television and he was talking, you were listening to what he was saying and you were following it and you wanted to hear the rest of it. I think that's fair to say. because those were the

he was one of the biggest stars on the television program when it had the biggest ratings it's ever had so he was captivating at that this is not captivating it's it's like did you ever see the South Park

where they brought Rod Stewart out for the concert and they wheeled him out in a fucking wheelchair because he was 90 years old and hey no but he were Vincent's don't remind me of Sumner Redstone I don't know if you know who's sum of the Redstone You must be. Yes.

When he would, eventually his hair turned orange and he was getting wheeled around everywhere. And it's just, everyone knows it's over, but he's still running the company for no good reason. And then his daughter takes over. But, I mean, we'll see what happens in this case. Well, it may be questionable now to whether it's going to be the daughter or the adopted son, Nick Con. Yeah, or the rocks, buddy. We'll see what happens. But with all we're saying about this, it's not a good position to be put in, I wouldn't think.

but I'll give Austin theory credit. I think he's doing as good a job as you could do in this situation. Yeah, I mean, well, you know, you just have to sit there and nod and throw in the line every once in a while that you're being told to say. But hopefully his in-ring talents will carry the day here. And at least if Vince wants to interact with him on screen, that means they want to push him. That means they see that there's something there. And that's a positive step so far. Let me see you, behave like a dog, like a rabbit dog.

No, god damn it! I've got a few questions naturally, as we have the last several weeks about Vince McMahon. Oh, boy. Before we get to any of these, have you caught up at all? Have you seen any of the latest installments of the, I guess, the WWE version of Tuesdays with Morrie? Vince McMahon and Austin Theory. You know, we said here a couple weeks ago, the only thing worse than Vince not seeing anything in you is Vince C.N.' something in you because now Austin

Theory, my boy, what have they done to my boy? I said this guy is incredible. What a prospect. He's got the body. He's got the look. He's got the size. He can work. The little things. I would have loved having this guy in OVW. I would have pushed him to the moon

because he's got all the little things that you either can't teach or sometimes it takes forever to teach. So naturally, they took him from NXT. rescued him from the same-face family, Johnny and Mrs. Same Face. Now he's on Raw, but he has become Vince McMahon's pet project, who apparently from these vignettes, Vince is trying to teach him to have the killer instinct and go out and make something

of himself, and Vince is threatening him with the pencil and the noted eraser. And there was another backstage vignette interaction. with Vince and Austin Theory on Raw just last night, Monday night. And I watched this clip. And again, there's Austin Theory trying to do the best he can with what he's being told to do, but basically it amounts to nodding up and down and going, uh-huh, and yes, sir, and taking selfies of himself with things and people. but Vince was mad at him in this clip because apparently

he had been defeated by Finn Baller at a match earlier in the show and then after that wouldn't you know it's not just an epidemic Brian in AEW or in some of the outlaw promotions but it's the WW as well it's the entire world of wrestling there's Finn Baller doing an interview back in the back of the building and here comes Austin Theory and tackles him.

At least he got about 30 seconds out, though, not like an AEW, where they can't speak at all before they get attacked. Baller got about 30 seconds out. And then here comes Austin Theory and beats him up and runs him into the equipment cases. And of course, immediately the announcer just backs up and becomes a mute, doesn't scream,

oh my God, help or anything, just gets out of the shot. And all the damage is done. And then at least at the end, quality control in the WWE, they run in one referee and I think, who was it that was standing around? Somebody else in a suit to say,

get the heck out of here. And then he goes, Austin Theory goes into Vince's office to tell him what he's done. Hey, even though I lost the match, that was a cold-blooded, ruthless attack that I just made on Finn Baller and Vince says, yeah, but

even though, and this is a quote from Vince, Even though you beat, as we might say, the chocolate pudding out of him. So over on AEW, they're saying shit, shit, shitty-mick, shit, shit, shit-face, shit-head, beat the shit out of your piece of shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. And over in W.W.E. Land, Vince says, you beat the chocolate pudding out of it. Suffer and suck a dash. And then he says, but I should. I should, and I'm, by the way, he's not saying it with this much

umph and power and projection and clarity. He said he ought to fire Austin theory because he loves firing people before the holidays. It makes him feel good like he just had a good meal, gives him a warrant. They're doing a parody of what people used to believe was the real Mr. McMahon because Vince was so good at being Mr. McMahon, that people had those thoughts and now they're parodying people who are probably writers who were children when he was

Mr. McMahon are now parodying you know Vince to where he's Ebenezer Scrooge and bah humbug and it's a whole way and I'm sure he loves it too because ah that's great shit pal but the clip that I saw Brian besides the fact that he brought the pencil out again and he Vince tried to tear a piece of his legal pad off,

and he tore it in half instead. He couldn't tear the whole page off of the legal pad. It looked like Bobby Heenan doing the old phone book tear stunt where he would tear three pages and put it down like he was satisfied. No, you know what it looks like? I swear to God, it looks like he's a fucking Muppet. It looks like the Vince head, the weird Vince head, it's like one piece, and then someone else is working the hands

because he's always sitting and he's hunched over, so there's like a torso, and then there's just crazy hands going all over the place. The hands are going to... I think it's Frank Oz working the hands, and someone else is working the Vince head. It looks nuts. It looks like someone else is doing his hands.

But who's the one that had to stick their hand up Vince's ass then? It's what I want to... But anyway, he's got the paper. It was Bruce, of course. Well, Bruce been able to get his hand up Vince's ass, or his head is so big, and it's locked there. so Vince scratches something he's written with a pencil, he erases it,

and then holds the paper up and blows the eraser shavings in Austin Theory's face. But here's what I was going for with what I was about to tell you was, I saw this clip, it was sent to me, and apparently it was on YouTube, right? This wasn't a clip directly off. Well, I don't know where it was directly off of it. But the point is,

without me doing it the closed captioning for the hearing impaired was on on this clip and from the time it had the announcer that asked Finn Baller the question and it had Finn Baller's response and then you see the attack

and then it goes into Vince's office and you see him talking to theory and then it started having some trouble because as we've made mentioned. Yes, Vince is, he's, he's, it's, it's, some of it's under his breath. And, and, and they were piping the crowd noise in really loud in this anyway.

Really loud. What the hell was that? Yeah. I've been in Vince's office. He doesn't have a studio audience in the office, right? So they were piping the noise from the arena into this as some kind of background. But what, it, it made it hard to hear Austin theory, but it made it almost impossible. to understand Vince because he's not projecting.

He's got the gruff voice now and it's under the so I'm watching as I'm watching Vince trying to get these things out my eyes are drawn to close captioning and the closed captioning is not able to figure out what Vince is saying anything. And one of the close captioning statements was when Vince was first starting to read Austin Theory out about maybe he made a bad decision in seeing something in Austin Theory.

He said, I didn't get to be a billionaire by making stupid business decisions, but the closed captioning plain as day said, I got to be a billionaire by making stupid decisions. Well, that's actually true. And then he starts going further. And all of a sudden, the closed captioning while Vince's mumbling disappears. And then just one word pops up inaudible. Oh, my God, that's so funny. It's a pretext in an office. these guys, they're miced.

It's a professional television production. But yet the closed captioning is reading it as the same thing as a fucking radio message from the space shuttle in outer space inaudible. Or some kind of police surveillance video of the mob inaudible. So that was. Poor Austin theory. By the way, you know, we get people that. ask us, why does Travis's drawings of current Vince look like he has lipstick on? Because he looks like he's got lipstick on.

To which I would say, what the hell was going on here? And that side shot of him, he looks completely nuts. He looks like he was built in Jim Henson's fucking creature studio. He really fucking does. You know, there were Muppets and then there were creatures that Jim Henson were built. He doesn't even look real. I think if he was if he was silly putty or play dough

don't get him too close to a fucking heat source or he might start melting but that would yeah yeah I mean it just I just don't know what's I just wish and we talked about this last week on the show that he I wish he would just

take time off retire put his feet up at least don't he's not a television personality anymore and since he was one of the absolute best ever, it's disheartening now that people are going to see, younger people are going to see him now and say, this is the Vince McMahon that we've heard about that was so commanding.

And as you mentioned, captivating or whatever, it's, I just, it's sad now. And I hate to see that. And I wish there was somebody that could tell him honestly, had the balls to whether he agreed with him or not that would go to him and say Vince you shouldn't be on TV anymore

but nobody's going to do that and what does Stephanie do anymore in that company do we know they gave her another I think they shifted her position to another position recently she was Chief Brand Officer for a while which she shifted her position to another position you mean she went from

doggy style to reverse cowgirl that's not what I meant in any possible way I meant she went from, you know, I don't even know what's senior VP, EVP, but head of this department to just do this now. And she was doing something else, I think. Although it was all, it's all basically the same. It's just Stephanie needs a job. Let's keep her doing something.

She's good at talking to people who know nothing about wrestling. She's incredible at that. Like, if you knew you had an auditorium filled with people who know nothing about wrestling, send her to talk to them, best person in the world. Yes, so you would think she would be the one to talk to Vince and say, Vince, come on. It's, you know, I don't know. Thank you, Moeller.

You have no idea who she is. Excellent question, Wendy. Speaking of absurdity, let's go ahead and get this one out of the way. I got to be honest with you. When I got up on Sunday morning, or Monday morning, rather, today, and was going to watch the Sunday night festivities, I did get on the internet. I didn't get on the internet Friday night, Saturday morning until I watched Ring of Honor because I didn't want the FTR Briscoe's match to be spoiled.

And I didn't look in advance at the Saturday night WrestleMania because I didn't have time and I thought, okay, you know, it's going to be okay. But I did peek and everybody on Twitter. I think I almost trended again. generally now I don't even have to do anything to trend on Twitter it's just people saying well wait oh cornette sees this and I trend somehow that way but everybody was like oh we've got to hear what cornette's going to say about Johnny Knoxville and Sammy Zane and that's when I thought what the fuck so I have to watch this because normally I would have said okay you watched it

yes I watched it because wow well everybody was like, it meant so much to them apparently that they weren't the only ones that had to suffer through this abomination, that I would somehow watch it and articulate the things on our platform here that they are not able to say

in public places because it stunk, it was rotten, it was fucking abominable, and people were offended by it. So, okay, I'll watch it. Because I mean, that's kind of the attitude I was going to have with it anyway. I just didn't plan on

critiquing the whole thing, but all I could think, just even when they started, before they'd ever even got into it, just when the bell was ringing, after the entrances. Sammy Zane, a good old El Generico and Kevin Owens, Kevin Steen, I've said this before, in Ring of Honor, they were the

pains in the ass. We had a great talent roster. They worked hard. They mostly showed up on time. Nobody was really fucking up too bad. It's just that every time that you had to talk to either one of these two, maybe it had something do because they were French-Canadian, maybe it had something to do because they're friends and birds of a fleather, a flea-flocked together, or birds of a feather shit together, whatever the saying is. But they were the biggest pains in the ass. They always had some questions, some issues, some conflict, some need to

resolved I think I've told everybody Zane sent delirious a two and a half page single spaced email one time talking about trying to get his airport parking paid for by the company in Montreal it was just incessant and they always had something to say about everybody else's business including they thought my wrestling acumen book it was cheesy. It was cheesy. It's not like the young folks today

want to get into. It's cheesy. It's old-fashioned. It's kind of goofy. Let me just remind everybody that this is the biggest wrestling event in the world and Sammy Zane, Mr. Expert, is bumping like a Super Bowl

for a 50-something-year-old jack-off reality TV star in the biggest abomination of a parody of a wrestling match that's ever been held by anybody. AEW don't have nothing on this bullshit, because they not only made sure to make the wrestling business look like garbage, but they spent a lot of money to do it. So, you know, the old saying, Brian, the old joke, you go up to a girl, you say,

will you fuck me for a million dollars? Hell yeah. Well, will you fuck me for a dollar? No, what do you think I am? We've already established that now. We're just haggling over price. So we've come to find out that fat boy Steen and fucking skinny boy Generico They don't mind making complete asses out of themselves and doing the worst Offensive unfunny bullshit making fun of the wrestling business that they possibly can as long as they're getting a big check for it Otherwise they got principles. Fuck you both

especially generico because at least Owens was in there with stone cold Steve Austin so he got the better part of the deal fucking the red-headed ginger Muslim French Canadian here had to stooge for a goddamn brain-damaged moron

so I'm glad to see them doing well in their environment up there my booking was cheesy they'd have been all over if somebody had suggested they'd this before they were making the big money oh how dare you but see they won't nobody's like me they won't put their money where their mouth is and just say fuck you keep your check that's embarrassing i'm not going to fucking do it fire extinguisher garbage can crutch cookie sheet

johnny knoxville's dressed like a kid on halloween playing superhero but he got somebody slipped some fucking fentanyl in his candy or something zane go under the ring to pull a table out and pulls out a table covered with mouse traps. They've got a stop sign in the red. This is, this would be unprofessional by AEW standards. Like if Jelly Nutella had a match with some fucking fat, ball tattooed death match garbage wrestler in some barn somewhere in the middle of Iowa, this is what you would get.

And this is on WrestleMania. a bunch of amateurs and a goof going along with it. It actually reminded me of Omega versus Moxley from Baltimore. They're very, very similar matches if you really think about it. Well, they all look the same, but this was even more visually insulting because as bad as Moxley looks like a fucking plumber laying in an alley somewhere, at least he looks like he could fight you, whereas Johnny Knoxville is big as my little finger, gray-haired. by his own admission brain damaged and a complete imbecile that a bunch of mentally challenged people have supported to where he has enough money to where he can fucking go around

and do shit like this people think he's some kind of celebrity um and by the way sammy zane suplexed that 50 plus year old reality tv goof through a table and got a two count and then zane was charging at him in the corner Knoxville pulls up an air horn and blows it in Sammy Zane's face. It's a fucking spray can with compressed air. I've sprayed them.

It won't hurt you if you do it to yourself. It's loud and annoying. So he blows the air horn and Sammy Zane is selling his ears like he's had his goddamn bell run. And then some, I thought it was a mark. I thought it was a fan out of the crowd. Some guy comes in the ring, the announcers are calling him party boy.

And he starts dancing and strips down to his thong underwear. In the middle of the ring in the middle of Matt. Who are these fucking people? Well, he was one of the regulars on jackass 20 years ago. Well, is this like the Howard Stern crack addicted dwarf and the fucking juggalo insane clown bullshit whoop, whoop, thing that in a sense, in a sense, It's kind of like a jackass is like a self-contained whack pack, I guess you could say. A whack pack.

Well, that's what Howard Stern called his people, the whack pack. Oh, I thought that was when you all got together and, well, we won't go into that. No, that's whack bag. I thought that may be the jack pack. So, whack pack, jack pack, whatever. All right, Jack. When all these, when this whole pack gets together, whatever they're doing, whackin, jacking, wagging it, wagging it, waggity whack, smackin it, smackin it, smackin it, smackin it back. I'm on a go where the, all right.

He's going to jack it. So then Sammy Zane dispatched the party boy in the thong and rolled him under the ring and then started to go under the ring after him for some reason. but a midget came out from under the ring and beat up and body slammed Sammy Zane in the middle of he he I can't say picked him up he picked him down Zane actually bent over and went down in order to be picked up by the fucking midget who body slammed him and then Johnny Knoxville

gets a two count on a professional wrestler with a DDT the midget does not leave His name is Weemam. Well, I don't care if he's got a fucking bladder issue. His incontinence is a problem. This is not the time to talk about it, but he shouldn't have been on WrestleMania. They take forever to pull out something. It's a metal frame with a fake leg attached to it.

And on the bottom of the fake leg, on the foot of the fake leg is a shoe of some description or a boot or whatever. so they set that up Zane comes over and potatoed the fucking midget in the face full with a kick I mean they showed a replay he just kicked that fucking midget in the face and it's the only time I've ever really

wanted to thank Sammy Zane for doing anything so the midget got the potato then Zane goes to the top rope to jump off on Johnny Knoxville but Johnny Knoxville has a remote control in his hand and while he's laying there he reaches up in the air so everybody can see it and he pushes a button

and pyro blows up off the ring post up sammy zanes sphincter he burned him right in his taintle area and he takes the bump off the ropes and then they get a bowling ball and roll the bowling ball into sammy zane's nut what is these ridiculous mentally challenged emotionally stunted goofballs fascination with hitting each other or other people in the fucking nuts and on purpose and they they've seen the clips in the past over the they go along with this shit i have never once in my life for a bet for a dare or for any other reason allowed somebody to just full force haul off and either hit me kick me or drive something into my my fucking testicles. Because you could get hurt that way and it's stupid.

I know that the things that they do here in public, they're obviously not using Mr. Johnson and his two friends for anything else because what woman would cooperate with that, but why damage the goods when it's not necessary? So then they, after the bowling ball, they got the leg machine and had the leg machine kick him in the nuts while they're all holding it. It's anybody over the age of seven who watches or likes jackass, Johnny Knoxville, or any of this fucking activity in a wrestling match is a complete fucking moron.

Let me just make that blanket statement right now and somebody try to prove me wrong. So this wouldn't end. Zane took a slam off that. Well, actually, he just flipped him. He was on the top rope and Johnny Knoxville reaches up and Zane just dives off, does a forward flip, and goes through the mouse trap table to the concrete floor. Could have killed himself. Anything that they were doing here could have ended in serious injury.

And he's in there with a bunch of amateurs. And then all of the jackasses bring a giant, mouse trap into the I'm talking six feet long mouse trap that they've built specifically for this bring it in the ring put Sammy Zane on it and then Johnny Knoxville can't figure out how to set the fucking trap off on Zane and reached over and got in the middle of it and exposed it when he pushes the button the wooden instead of a real mouse trap which the metal spring that clamps down on the poor little fella.

It's just a big wooden thing and it flies up and hits Johnny Knoxville in the back of the head and bounces off and he pulls back and then it slams down on Sammy Zane and oh, and he's selling and he's pinned in the fucking mouse trap. One, two, three. I've said that they're risking injury and unfortunately in this case, because everybody deserved it here but unfortunately the only thing that was hurt in this match was the wrestling business

so night one we left with optimism by this point in the show it's not even half over and not only was I saying oh fuck but I had to stop watching this thing because I didn't want to see anymore even the stuff I wanted to see

after this I didn't want to see any of it I was actually I would have been happy right then if I never saw any wrestling ever again and it's not like that anybody else really felt any different from what I saw on the internet from what I saw on Twitter all the wrestling fans were insulted everybody said I can't wait to hear Cornette tear this apart people are giving it negative stars or fucking laughing about it in the wrong way why just to get I can understand if it was goddamn

the rock as a movie star or Mick Jagger or some upper echelon my god will never get the opportunity to have a guy of this level of fame and magnitude on our show ever again we'll do whatever to get him

Johnny fucking Knoxville I that Johnny Knoxville's presence on this show cannot have added I don't think it could have added anything. I don't think one single person bought it because of this. Maybe some people turned away from it because of this, but it couldn't be worth the bad

publicity, the visual of all this silliness, ruining the rest of the show for people who don't want to see anymore after that, shitting on the business that the guys are about to get in the ring, the main events that drew the money, are going to get in the ring and risk their necks and their lives and their health to try to be professionals and really fucking dig in and give them again and they do this. I'm sorry, that's, this is

the kind of thing that I think people that weren't even involved should quit over. Give me your thoughts. Not a big fan of it. I was able to watch it and enjoy it for the stupidity that it was because I knew what it would be. And it's Sammy Zane. It's not like they're working against Steve Austin or John Cena or Roman Raines.

Oh, you would have thought that's who they were about 10 years ago before they got their attitudes adjusted and told how to do things the right way. You're right that Johnny Knoxville is not a big star nowadays. Now, it did seem like they got a lot of people there who must have been jackass fans because when people pop a little bit for Wii Man, they are seriously deep jackass fans. Well, no, it's a visual. You're out, a midget, applicable of nothing, apropos of nothing. A midget comes out from under the ring and starts body slamming the wrestler. You're going to pop for that if you've never seen him before.

because it's fucking preposterous. Not my favorite thing on WrestleMania, and hopefully that's the end of Johnny Knoxville in WWE. Vince McMahon makes his entrance. And he had a little bit more of the Vince Walk going there than he did the other night at the Hall of Fame. He gives Austin Theory the big intro.

And down he comes, and then here come the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders again. Okay, I guess this works because Pat McAfee played pro football. So... Not for Dallas. Not for Dallas, but it's football cheerleaders. The night one, they were just out there just dancing for no reason.

But anyway, so the match is going to be McAfee against theory venses at ringside. And again, just like Logan Paul, he took, Pat McAfee took this seriously. He's already, he's trained as we've talked about. He trained with Rip Rogers and he's working. out with a lot of these guys. And he takes the business seriously. And he was excellent. And theory,

you know, they talked about it. And as we find out at the finish when they did what they did, there was discussion, obviously, of Vince having a match with McAfee. We see now that whatever reservations and whoever voiced them were correct, that they should not do that. but they should do something else to get to that.

But this is an example where theory, even though he gets beat, he's Vince McMahon's flunky slash protege, he's in a high-profile match with a mainstream sports guy at WrestleMania, and we know he can work, he's fucking brilliant, theory. So this was better than it had any right to be,

because McAfee's had three months. matches in front of people now, right? And they brought it and they worked it out and they knocked it out of the park, I thought. Back and forth, but McAfee did a great job.

When he goes for a superplex, theory shoves him off the top rope, he backflips to the middle, lands on his feet, runs leaps up to the top rope in one leap and does the superplex. That was smoother than anybody in a wrestling business

would have done. something like that. If you remember, when he had that match with Adam Cole a couple years ago, and it was an empty arena match. And we talked about not only how good he was, but there was something he did that was very similar where he ran and he jumped on the top rope. And it was so impressive. And I remember at the time we said, imagine if he actually did that in a room with people in it. They would go crazy. It would look amazing. Well, there you go. And he finally did it. And again, that got a two count, a big pop. And then theory took over. He tried to go for his finish and McAfee got out of it, rolled him up, one, two, three, and got a huge pop.

Because theory already has heat because he is doing the bidding of the evil Mr. McMahon. And that's where they were going with that thing the whole time, and it worked. And then, okay, we thought, well, this is over with. And then Vince does the thing, where he starts to take his jacket off. And then he thinks better of it. And he starts to walk away, and then he turns back around. And then he takes the jacket off. and the tie.

And then he unbuttons his cuffs, and he unbuttons his collar, and he takes off his shirt. And I'm thinking, fuck, if he goes any further, I know this is pay-per-view, but they should have charged more money. But finally, he gets in the ring,

and I know that everybody was thrilled to see because it's Vince, and it's the WrestleMania crowd, and heel, baby, face, good, bad, whatever. They want to see. the stars, they want to see the people, they never get to see in person. Vince hadn't been involved in something like this in a long time. So they were looking with the rose-colored

glasses, the fans in the building, anybody watching television or whatever. But I don't, was it sad to see this? Or was it, was it fun because it's Vince McMahon? Or was it sad because it's it's not, it's Vince McMahon and it's not the same Vince. The stuff with him in Austin was fun to see. The stuff from the moment he took his shirt off and got in the ring was sad to see up until Austin came out.

And he's in better shape than most 76 year olds ever, but he's... Well, yes. But as soon as he took his shirt off, that was also the first time we've seen Vince's old man arms. Yeah. He was an old man. I mean, you could tell he was an old man. and that clothesline. I mean, as soon as he started doing stuff,

he was like, oh, no. Like I said, they needed to do something with him in Austin. It was the right thing to do. They probably should have ended the night with it. Well, yeah, but... But I also, beyond the way Vince looked and I was sad that was, I also wouldn't have had him go in there and beat McAfee after McAfee just won a match. Well, that's the thing.

The stuff with Austin, except for the unfortunate stunner, the stuff with Austin was all beer drinking and Gaga and Panama or whatever, if he was going to have a match here, why couldn't he have had a manager match for a minute and a half? Because the thing I didn't understand from the start was Vince and McAfee are facing off and trash talking or whatever. And theory comes from behind and blisters Pat McAfee and knocks him goofy from behind. And that's when Vince says ring the bell to the referee

and should have taken over and got on him, but instead, he stood there and let McAfee get back up. Well, then what was the point of having the heel hit him from behind to get you an advantage? Now you're faced face again. McAfee runs at Vince, and by God, it was like he had no rotator cuffs. Vince just threw an arm out,

and McAfee ran into it and took a bump. That was a clothesline. And then Vince runs McAfee's head into the turnbubes. and it didn't look like the words that I just described. And then another stationary clothesline where McAfee's running into him and he's just holding his arm up. I know he's 76. But that is one of the reasons why that maybe this shouldn't have happened this way. Another head to the turnbuckle.

Snails pace and Vince keeps letting McAfee get up and recover and look at him and get up and then he'll do something else to him. and McAfee's got to sell. What's he going to do? Now, Vince, time for me to come back? In theory, tripped him and crotch, McAfee and crouched his nuts on the ring post,

and so Vince could strut around, and then he was giving him it looked like our little dog pockets. We'd give him the soft little kicks in the midsection, and he wasn't trying to like he was kicking a shit out of him. He was doing the insulting kicks, but maybe he's doing the insulting kicks

because, that's one thing about Austin he's been wearing two knee braces for bad ACLs for 25 years when you kick with your right foot your left foot that's why I don't kick anymore like I used to your left foot is landing with a lot of force

and you can fuck your knee up well Vince had two torn quads so he wasn't stomping it at all it's not same as just lifting weights when you're in the ring with the mat moving

and balance being and impact from different places. Go ahead, what? I was going to say he tore his quads a long time ago. Well, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. He was fucking mid-50s and tore his quads rolling in the ring. Now he's 76 and he's going to start throwing fucking kicks and look like Flair or somebody. No, this was low-impact shit. Because his tendons, sinews, muscles, connecting tissue, whatever, is all almost 80 years old.

at least what hadn't been replaced previously. But anyway, so after the crotch on the post, theory gives Vince a football, and Vince teases kicking it into the crowd. And I know he's having fun and teasing and milking, but I can tell just by the body language, and he might never admit this, but McAfee was down there going,

why am I having to sell so fucking long? Will you please come over here? And finally, Vince teases kicking the football into the crowd and instead just kicks it into McAfee's midsection and covers him one, two, three. And then kicked him out to the floor like a piece of garbage. We'll talk about what happened after that in a second. And we've given our thoughts about whether Vince should or shouldn't be in there. But if you are going to do this and word got out and then people thought it wasn't going to happen because they said, up the Austin Theory match, although it always seemed like there was some kind of hidden agenda

behind the whole thing, although that was never spelled out. In storyline, it doesn't make any sense why Vince all of a sudden wanted to wrestle a match with McAfee. But if you were going to do this, it absolutely would have meant a lot more to WrestleMania to get people to check it out casually if you announced that 76-year-old Vince McMahon was going to wrestle. A pro football player. A pro football player. Who's pretty popular outside of wrestling too. but you know I was thinking ahead of time that maybe it was Vince

that said we can't advertise this as a match because I can't do enough to give the people or money's worth make it right or whatever so let's put theory in and then we'll do something but then once he got in there the match bell to bell

even though a lot didn't happen it was slow it lasted minutes and it like I said a manager match the fucking he'll nails McAfee and down he goes. Vince gets on him on top of him, on the mount, punches him several times, puts the boots to him a little bit, chokes him over the rope, rakes his eyes, McAfee tries to bow up a little bit, and that's when theory pulls a leg

from behind and Vince gets on him again and maybe grabs something, wraps it around his neck, starts choking him. I just staying on him like a fucking, like a guy who can't fight, would stay on a guy who can fight if the, guy who can fight was down. And then finally, either Vince misses something he's trying to do or McAfee just bows up. And boom, boom, boom,

McAfee makes a little bit of a comeback on a couple of things that Vince might be able to do. I'm not talking about bumps or whatever. But then let theory pop up and they're McAfee because he just, McAfee just had that match with theory. I mean, it's not like that they've made up everything.

So, and McAfee won, so theory still mad, theory could pop up and McAfee could give him a couple of bumps and turn around into something that Vince has in his hand, or maybe theory can hit McAfee with something from behind,

and Vince falls on him. How did I beat any major pro wrestler that I ever beat? It was all from the heel doing the damage and me falling on the unconscious body and then crowing about it like I did something. But he beat him and kicked him out on the floor.

And then Vince and Austin Theory celebrated what seemed like forever until the glass broke. And then again, I mean, obviously the people go crazy. Here comes Steve Austin. He's in the ring. He's face to face with Vince McMahon. He beats up Austin Theory. He gives Austin Theory a stunner. Austin Theory took four bumps on the same stunner.

That was, it was like you were swimming in mid-air. Yes, it was great. He went straight up, straight back, bumped up forwards and flipped. And anyway, he wanted to make sure that he made the most of that one. That's the first and last stunner that Austin Theory will ever take.

It's like being figure forward by flair or pile driven by Lawler or, you know, spinning toehold by funk or whatever. it's an honor. So then Vince weasels out, they do the facials and the interplay with him and Austin. Now let's have a beer. And as soon as they go to have the beer. And folks, if you haven't seen the clip,

it's all over Twitter. Mick Foley even shot his live reaction to it and put it on Twitter. Austin kicks Vince in the stomach to set up the stunner. When he kicked Vince in the stomach, Vince either not. not thinking or potentially off balance went down to one knee on his right knee instead of

just bending over. So since the stunter is kick and grab in kind of the same motion, Austin kicks Vince and goes to grab where he thinks his head is going to be, but Vince has gone down to a knee and Austin reaches over the top of him. There's no head there. Well, now Vince realizes what's happened and he tries to get back up to his feet. Well, now Austin is grabbing for him, but when Vince pushes himself up to his feet, he gets overbalanced and he staggers backwards into the ropes.

Austin goes and grand, Austin is trying to get Vince's head in his hands, and Vince is trying to feed back to Austin, but they're not sinking up in the middle. That's why I said earlier in the show, it looked like Muhammad Ali at the peak of his fucking powers, dodging punches of his opponents, except it was Vince accidentally, not letting Austin grab him around the fucking head. And finally, Austin grabs him and just, and they're in the corner and Austin's already starting to laugh.

And by that point, he just sits down with the stunner and Vince, instead of going to his knees, went to his ass, and they all collapsed in a heap. It looked like a monkey fucking a football. And Austin spit all of his beer out because he's like, this is the most preposterous,

and gets up laughing his ass off. Because he's like, just fell on his ass in Texas Stadium in front of 70,000 people because Vince couldn't stand up straight. He hit the stunner and give him credit. From the moment he first tried to hit it, he had

beer in his mouth. He was waiting. So the whole time Vince is doing the rope-a-dope, he's holding the beer in his mouth. And when he finally hits it, like I said, the greatest visual ever. Vince, you can't even see where his legs are. He just looks like a torso and and right in front of him is Austin spitting the beer out. It's the funniest fucking picture.

It looked like Austin gave a stunner to the legless man in the AW Battle Royal. And then so Austin gets up and he's laughing. He starts calling for the beers and Vince rolled out somewhere. and then Austin called McAfee in to have a beer with him and drag it and then gave a I guess he figured that can't be the last one I ever do so he calls McAfee in and drinks beer with him and then gives him a hell of a stunner and McAfee what he took a completely different style of bump where he got knocked backwards up on tiptoes froze and then collapsed but at least the last stunner that we will see was a

good one, but the next to last one is the one that a lot of people, especially the boys in the business, are going to remember. It was worse than Linda's, wasn't it? It was, and remember what I said to you before, everything was kind of cool, came full circle, including the fact that Vince's first stunner and his last stunner were the two worst stunners of all time. That's right. He couldn't get to first one either, could he? He sold it really weird. This one, again, We've seen the stutter now for 25, 30 years, and I've never seen anyone come down. All right, come on now.

Just looking at the picture of Vince when Austin in front of him on Splash Mountain. Well, let's say, hey, let's be a little serious for a second. Then we come to the three-way tagger. team number one contender match between the Viking Raiders, the lucha suits, and Skid Row. And each of the teams has their female valet manager, handler, mistress, as you like to say, whatever the case, in their corner. Well, I like to say mistress when it's a mistress.

I don't think any of these women have been shown to be mistresses for any of these. Well, you used that term the other day. About a mistress. Well, and that hadn't been established. But we nevertheless, we had, we got Zelina Vega, we got B-Fab, and we've got Val Hala. That's her name, Valerie Hala. Remember from the Poughkeepsie Hallas. They're a big family up there.

So I already knew by the time I watched this because it went viral. It was actually infectious, is what it was. I knew what was coming. But even before we got there. I got to be honest with you. Every time the top dollar gets in the ring, it's visually fascinating to me for whatever perverse reason.

I mean, every time he touches somebody, it looks like he's a wacky waving arm inflatable tube whale. His arms are just flailing in his, and is the baggy basketball outfit that he wears and he obviously is convinced that things that he is doing are impressive and that he's over because of the demeanor and the attitude he takes with it and the grandiose, it's like he's the rock about to give the people's elbow. Have you seen this? Am I imagining this?

No, and I completely agree with you. And I'm happy to hear you say this. He's utterly fascinating to watch because it's like a guy has no experience at the rig at all. and they've just put him out there, even though we know he's been trained by them. Yes, it's like I said, the, you know, the basketball dad that, you know, gets to play with the kids on the weekends, right? And he let me show you how I used to do it. And he can't do anything.

But he's acting like he's doing everything. And Michael Cole said he's lost almost 100 pounds. What the fuck did he start at? By the way, he looked better, bigger now that I see him. Well, because he is. 100 pounds of weight loss. He's had no discernible physique to the point where I would say he's almost stoop-shouldered. There's no arms there.

There's no muscle tone. It's admirable if he's losing, if he was trying to be what he looks like, which is a 40-year-old car salesman that tries to play basketball on a playground with the kids on weekends, it's admirable. He's lost 100 pounds. He's trying to be a pro wrestler. he may have lost the only look that he had that was any good if he was 400 fucking pounds. Because this, but my God, again, when he teased the dive a time or two, and it was like he looks to the hard camera. He knows where the camera is.

And he knows the motions to make. It just, again, looks ludicrous. When he makes him, it looks like he's a SpongeBob SquarePants character down at the bottom of the ocean kind of waving in the, the sea. So anyway. But the other thing that you're kind of glossing past

is he behaves like this and BFab at Ringsxby. She's got a great look. She's also behaving like this is a big deal. The fans are not reacting to anything he does. They've already decided that they don't like him. They don't like Hit Row. They're not interested.

And that's, you know, it's like he's leading, he's conducting an invisible choir with the fans in his head that are, cheering for him and anticipating this. So finally, he teased the dive a time or two and finally he went for it. And they had contrived the situation

where almost everybody in the match, I think maybe everybody in the match, was over on one side of the ring to attempt to be the catchers for this fucking fiasco. And he sees he's in the ring all by himself. And he looks at the hard camera. and gives it the look like, oh, and he gives some kind of finger sign. He should have given the thumbs down.

I think it was just three fingers down and a thumb up your ass. I don't know what the fucking sign was supposed to be. And he hits the far ropes, and he starts running across the ring, and he jumps head first. And Brian, you've seen the guys do the Undertaker did this one year at WrestleMania, where you do the head first dive and the hands out. it's like Superman taken off out the window and going over the top rope and you've seen it before where a guy get all the way over the rope and then his feet will hang on the top and that will stop his

momentum and he'll go crashing face first to the ground you've seen that a number of times right I have yeah well this wasn't that what this was was this fucking guy did the goddamn George Reeves fucking push off and the Superman jump out the window on the old TV series and the only part of him that made it over the top rope was his arms, his head

and his chest his belly caught the top rope and because he had flown into it with all of his heart and soul him hitting that top rope with his stomach so fast

He immediately snapped him upside down to where his fucking feet flew straight up in the air. And his head not just went head first to the apron, but he was spinning at such a rate that his face flew underneath the bottom rope. He almost dove over the top rope and ended up back in the ring. I've never, that would be impossible, but he almost did it. so when he came down his feet are going over now and his head and chest are underneath the bottom rope which has the luck of fools and whales has turned him over to where he didn't go head first to the floor it turned and he just rolls off the apron of the fucking ring on his feet and walks off like he did something and meanwhile everybody that was standing there waiting for it. They all just fell down anyway. He never even touched anybody and they all just crumpled to the ground. I have never said, it was like the top rope gave him a big backdrop. I have seen guys use the ropes for moves, but I've never seen one of the ropes use a guy for a move.

You know what? And this is one of those cases where WWE production helped. Because they made it look a lot better than it was. Oh, yes, because the fan cam footage on Twitter from different angles of a show just how ridiculous, because you couldn't tell from the official TV version how far he was from missing everybody that fell down anyway. You could still produce, I mean, there was no way around the fucking flip. But then, did you ever see his tweet afterwards, after I told you about it? Well, he blocked me, apparently, at some point.

I'm blocked too, but the fucking websites were actually picking it up, going, look at what this guy's saying now. And they would embed it in there. But basically, after this became the talk of the town, so to speak, the topic of conversation amongst polite society, well, old top dollar, I guess he got his feelings hurt. He tweeted out like, you know, thank God prayer hands or whatever, that I'm okay.

my foot gave out. His foot gave out on the jump is what happened. And he tweeted a clip to prove that he could do it. He said, here's a clip of me when I was 50 pounds heavier. And apparently it's, I guess, at the performance center, because I assume he's been in the WWE program. He's never wrestled for anybody else. So it had to be at a performance center. this wasn't the performance center itself it was like a small rec center or something a performance center show in florida it was one or two rows of ringside that type of thing everybody's got to learn somewhere i'm not knocking that

but i'm saying this was not on television and he tweeted this clip he said i'm 50 pounds heavier here i am well in this case yes he's exactly right he took off running and he dove over the top rope and he cleared that some bitch and he went straight over the other side and went right in between all the people that were trying to catch him face first to the fucking floor

and that's the clip that he tweeted to prove that he could actually do it so he can prove he got over the rope but he still had never proved that he can actually hit this fucking thing in general is that a bad idea the whole idea well you saw me botched this

but look I used to be able to do it well yes i mean there's so many bad ideas and things wrong with that wrapped up the one is that he's doing it anyway he wants to be cool you can tell he thinks he's cool already and he wants to be cooler a 300 and whatever pound guy marked down from 400 and whatever shouldn't be doing a goddamn dive over the top rope even if he can unless it's the undertaker at russomania i'll go for that when somebody's getting a seven figure payoff to do it and somebody's getting a seven figure payoff to stand underneath it. But this fucking moron for a flat salary and the idiots that were standing there not knowing he

wasn't going to land on him, here's the goddamn thing. Again, sure, yes, some of these Felix over in AEW, he does a lot. Well, no, he falls on his ass and head a lot too. One of these acrobatic wrestlers may be able to nail this shit. time without hurting themselves or anybody else. Maybe that's possible. I don't know. I can't call that person.

I've never been dove on. Nor have I dove upon anyone. I just fucking worked and made money. But I'll tell you what, I've known a lot of smart wrestlers and a lot of successful wrestlers and a lot of wrestlers that made a lot of money. A lot of wrestlers made a lot more money in wrestling business than I have. and I don't know any of them

for just every goddamn television match or every time they're in a house show or every time they're anywhere that they would want to stand there at ringside underneath some moron diving off of or over the ropes onto them whether they were singly standing there or in a fucking group

how many times it was at Ridge Highland He caught a guy on a fucking dive, blew his fucking quad, and had surgery and was out for months and months of months. Same thing happened 20 years ago to God damn Scott Puttsky's son, or Scott, Ivan Puttsky's son, Scott caught Brian Christopher, blew his fucking leg. We've seen guys land on their heads. We've seen guys give themselves concussions. We've seen guys turn ankles or whatever the fucking,

not the worked turned ankle of the balding buck the other week, but actual injuries. But besides that, what nobody is thinking about, and I'm surprised is not more prevalent, if you're standing there, even if you're in a group of five wrestlers that should be able to catch 300 pounds, you're not catching a 300-pound sack.

You're catching, especially this uncoordinated, whale-like individual, allegedly going to fly over the top rope. Where is elbows coming? the top rope's nine feet off the fucking ground so the guy's going to be coming from 10 feet whether he's 200 pounds or 250 or 165 or 300 no matter how coordinated he is

he's flipping he's spinning he's doing a back flip where's his knees coming where's his elbows coming where's the back of his head coming if a bunch of people are reaching up to catch him and he and he's coming at a high rate of speed and he weighs a couple hundred pounds where do their elbows go

related to my fucking face if I'm behind them. It's stupid for something that everybody does in every fucking match. It's a needless risk for a momentary pop that all it does is look phony

and give the trampoline cowboy fan something to fucking clap about for 10 seconds. And give them a quiz. Stand at the door at the end of the show as they're all filing out of the arena and say, describe the most impressive flip of the night

and who was standing there to catch the guy and see how many can put down all the fucking names. So you just risk your goddamn face in your dental work or potentially fucking blowing a knee or whatever the case to be a miscellaneous extra in a fucking mosh pit

to catch some idiot that may or may not be hitting his target. Fuck you. Have you ever seen someone trying to do that. I can't even say without laughing. Have you ever seen someone before trying to dive over the top rope? That side shot from the fan cam showed it. He didn't even leave the ground.

I mean, it wasn't even like a jump-ins. You can't even call it a jumpy. Like, just. The top rope of the ring is in the WWE is approximately five feet off the mat. and he hit it with just the exactly his center of gravity, his belly button area. And he's six foot six. So he was standing on his tippy toes

and got three inches of air at best. And actually, that used to be the way that Bill Dundee took his over-the-top rope bump on purpose. Because he was, he was, I've never seen anybody else do it. He could nail it. It looked fantastic in that you would throw him he would just go stomach first into the rope, bend at the waist, handstand off the apron

without holding any of the ropes, and go off onto the concrete floor. And that was a fucking great bump. He was taking it on purpose, not by accident. His fucking guy, and the rib is this guy couldn't do this again in a million years. If he tried every day for the rest of his life, he'll never do that again. How much longer do you think the hit rope project will be on the air? Boy, unless there's pictures of somebody and goats, I think they're already looking for a way to,

because they've already shortened everything up. Their matches are as short as they can get. But my, I mean, this was the spectacular botch, but, you know, the one kid, what, Ashante, he might be all right, but in between the, the girl just stares and looks out of place and dances around with the long legs. You can tell she, and they tried to have a match with, they booked a match with her a couple weeks ago and didn't actually have it.

So that shows where her progress is at. So I, this guy bumps like a drunk and a slip and slide is basically what. Anyway, oh, but there's more to the match. Now, wait a minute.

We got to get to the finish because they got the girls at ringside. So the girls got in and did spots with each other. and it looked like they nearly killed themselves. One came off the turnbuckles to the floor with a Hurricane Rana that fucking went sideways. I don't know what the fuck. But then finally, the finish was one of the lucha suits was going to run at Top Dollar.

And Top Dollar was going to scoop him up for a double team move where he would scoop him up and hold him in his arms like you were rocking a baby to sleep. And Ashante was going to drop kick. The guy while he was up in his arms, was going to go backwards with him, right? Can you visualize that? Some what?

Well, they can't. Because apparently, again, as much preparation goes into these things, they had to have to come up with this move if it was their idea, which I don't know why an agent would say do this, so it had to be their idea. They had to have at least gotten a ring and said,

look, I'll pick you up like this and he'll come from here. And when they got to it, it fell the fuck apart. The guy's coming off the ropes at Top Dollar. Top Dollar goes to scoop him up. And when he scoops him up, the guy's momentum is still going, so Top Dollar almost loses him. He bends over and he's trying to keep him up in his arms, but they almost fell through the

fucking ropes on the other side of the ring. The guy in Top Dollar's arms had to grab the top rope to steady himself, so the top Dollar could get under him to pick him up. Well, now Top Dollar has turned around and he's got him up in his arms, like the rocking baby. But now Ashante is not on the right side of Dollar to do the drop kick. So instead of being in front, and he should have been right in front. Go back and watch the DVR. He should have been right in front of Dollar and jump up and drop kick the guy in the chest.

but instead he's on the right side 90 degree angle of dollars, so he just jumped up and kicked the fucking guy that Dollar was holding wherever he could hit him, which basically knocked Dollar off balance, and he just fell backwards with the fucking guy. And they said, and top dollars sold his their own finish.

He was late. He took the bump and Adonis pinned the fucking guy while Dollar is laying there selling their own fucking finish with a look of pain on his face and holding his ribs because it probably hurt him. Oh, God damn it. Oh, we might. I'm about to get the vapors.

I'll tell you what. Oh. It was a scream. Extended scream. A scream over on Smackdown this past week. Was that the main event? No, no. The main event was the bloodline.

That was just the match that probably ran all the people off. There was more Ms. and Snoopy, and the weekend attendance was 161,892. What do you think the real weekend attendance was? Did they say they had like 65,000 tickets out for each night a day or two beforehand? Something like that, probably like 135,000 or something. But this counts everybody that was working in the state, stadium, all the parking attendants, anybody that was around EMT crew, fucking homeless bums,

it is California sleeping in the street outside in the parking lot. Spirits who died during the construction of the building. Jimmy Hoffa is buried underneath that. They counted him too. So, Ms. was upset at Snoop because he put him in a match the previous night. and Snoop said, you want to do it again? And I guess Ms. wasn't done complaining because he's like, well, you ruined my suit. I don't come to your studio and show you how to rap.

And I'm thinking, boy, if they brought out L.A. Knight right now. And he just beat the shit out of the Miz. How big you think that pop would have been? I was waiting to figure out who it would be. That was my first guess just because of what's been happening. Why not capture that moment? Have that here. L.A. night in L.A. at Resslemania, beating up the Miz, the movie star.

Instead, this turned into one of the funniest things I've ever seen of my entire life. I was losing it watching. You know, I couldn't laugh because I've told you before, Shane's my favorite one. I like him. He's got his picadilloes, but he's a good, he was a good kid, he's a nice guy at heart, right? and he just I guarantee you that he probably called Vince and said dad can I do mania one more time

I've been working out I'm in shape and I guarantee you that's and I want to redeem myself what was it the Royal Rumble last year he didn't make a good impression and so they

were going to have folks if you didn't see this they were going to have Shane come down and have an impromptu match with the Miz and do what I assume Shane was going over so Snoop you're not doing it any justice this was such an all-time

hysterically awful segment I'm just saying what they were going to do his music hits you hear that here comes the money thing and then here comes old Shane McMahon bopping all around the stage doing his thing you already knew that something was going to go wrong. Well, because he was huge. He looked, did you see how puffy he was, he was jacked up like a jacked up Dana White with hair? His face was round.

And he's 50, he's almost 55 now, right? Because I'm over 60. He's about seven or eight years younger than me. Anyway, Shane McMahon is 53 years old. Okay. So he's fucking, he's huge, he's wearing the tight shirt showing the big arms, and he's dancing and doing the Ali shuffling the whole nine yards. And when he gets in the ring, he gets a microphone. And he didn't really do a promo just to say to the fans, hey, I love you guys. Thank you for that response. You know, since his love, he was blowed up already because he'd been so hyper. And then Snoop here, he didn't exactly set this up in a stellar fashion. He's just like they played the music. Shane comes out.

He said, let's get a referee. And no, you're in there. I'm out here or whatever. And the bell rings. And Shane immediately starts with the rabbit jabs. Boom, boom, boom. And Miz is back in the corner. And then Shane backs Ms. up and shoots him off and drops down.

And here's, before I tell the people, what happened, Brian. In any wrestling school, one of the most elementary fucking things that you would ever learn is you don't shoot a guy off and either let him come off the ropes

and give you a move and you don't shoot a guy off by the arm and drop down. If you drop down, you need to shoot a guy off out of a headlock because then you're committing an offensive move in defense,

right? He's in control. You're throwing him off of you. When you're in control of the guy's arm, you're throwing him into the ropes and then dropping down to avoid a move that he shouldn't be able to give you. Have I made that somewhat clear? I think so, yeah. Okay. So Shane arm whips Ms.

off and drops down because he's got to get some space so he can do his leapfrog. Because Shane is, I guess, decided one of the things he wants to do to show his athleticism is his big high leapfrog. when he was in the air and a leapfrog, you think he's thinking, wait until a Devere sees this, thinking, and need me around. You know what? When he hit the height, that was a high leapfrog, and he spread those legs out.

And God damn, you could just hear the front row and it would have spread starting the You've Still Got It chant. They went, who it's still? And then he landed. And then he landed. he buckled and he went down to the left and spun around over on his fucking hands and knees and now Ms. is coming off the ropes and he after he's been a leapfrog and he's coming off

the ropes and he sees Shane. Shane is down. Shane is down as Renee Goulet might say. So he runs past Shane thinking Shane has stumbled and Shane will stand up if I just run past him and come off the other side, Shane will be back up on his feet by the time I come back to him. And so Ms. runs past Shane, who's on his hands and knees, starting to get up,

and as Shane gets up and puts weight on his leg, he realizes that he can't get up, and he crumples face first to the mat. And Miz comes off the other side of the ropes, and it's like this time Shane tried to fucking drop down

for real and trip Ms. his feet out from under him and Ms. just had to stop and stand there and stare at him. And then Shane is grovelling on the ground because he's turned over on his back and he's yelled

something probably, I'm fucked! And then Ms. backs up in the corner and just has this blank look and then the referee goes check on Shane who obviously cannot get to his feet.

and I love that this is a new McMahon thing. The surprise appearance into blowing out your quads. All right, you've told the people he didn't blow, I thought he blew his knee when a, but apparently the news after the match was he tore his quad, the same thing that Vince did. And that's the only thing that's funny at all about it. Poor Shane, I was so embarrassed for him.

But if the doctor comes in, is checking on him. And here comes, of all people. Now, you see the referee, the female referee, she puts her hand to her ear, she's trying to hear her earpiece. I'm pretty sure they're probably telling her something, but I didn't see her have time to talk to Snoop,

saying I didn't see Ms. Ms. just stood there with a blank look on his face. Snoop Dog comes back in and says, no, it can't be like that. and fucking punches Ms. And down goes Ms. And then I think

that the referee may have told him, yeah, do it again or Ms. called it or something because Ms. gets back up and he nails Ms. again.

And then Snoop Dog, as they've slid Shane out, you never saw him again. Snoop Dog gives Ms. the stiffest people's elbow. He actually did jump up in the air and drop elbow first on this man's sternum. It looked like shit until it got there and then it hurt.

And covered him one, two, three. So Snoop Dog pins Ms. at WrestleMania. I watched the press conference afterwards, and Triple H put him over big time. He said a lot of wrestlers in that position would have frozen, not known what to do. Yeah, like Miz. This guy, we always knew he was a fan, he's done other things.

He showed us that he actually has a lot of things. he showed us that he actually has instincts here to go in there and he saved the segment. And if this is the last appearance of Shane McMahon. That's the sad thing. I feel so bad for Shane and his kids are so nice and he's just so embarrassing. Can you imagine? The last time he's there is that Royal Rumble where he didn't look that great in a match and it appeared something was off.

And then we found that something was off and they told him never come back. ever again. And then he shows up here. And just seconds into it. Seconds. I'm laughing too much. I'm sorry I find it so funny. It's so funny.

And he's got to, he's fucked his life up for the next six months. Because that will be surgery and recovery and rehab. And if he worked for Tony Con, the company would pay for it. Yeah, I wonder if he's going to turn this one into the WW. for the new company.

What's his WrestleMania payoff going to be? Oh, my God. Have I told you the Glenn Calka story? No. You remember that, right? I remember Glenn Culca, but what's, what story? Glenn Coker was a big muscle builder, tough looking guy that had played, he was from Canada, and he had played for the Canadian Football League, and he was a big time amateur athlete,

and he was an early developmental guy. He before I came down to OVW when they were sending guys down to Memphis to Randy Hales, Power Pro Wrestling, Glenn was part of that. He was very early developmental program, like first half a dozen or so guys. Yeah, that's where I remember him from, Memphis. Yeah. And he was a badass looking guy, and he was a nice guy and kind of got the picture and everything. but he had just started training.

And so Dr. Tom Pritchard had worked with him, and he's one at Dory Funk Jr. had worked with him, and he'd been in Memphis and everything. They, goddamn, I can't remember the particulars, but somehow or another, there was a big independent show in his hometown that they had booked, and they booked him on, so he could go and he could appear.

It was either his hometown or his home, the college he graduated from, or whatever, but it was a big craft. in this gym and they're all there to see Glen Calka and he comes out and makes the big entrance and gets in the ring and jumps up on

the second rope and does the thing where he's got his arms up and the crowd is exulting him and he's so fired up and he's so happy, this infectious crowd behind him, he jumps off the second turnbuckle and turns and jumps back into the middle of the ring and lands and

breaks his fucking leg. Oh, Boom goes down he goes. And they carried him out. That's the thing. Whoever Shane said goodbye to in the back before he went out, like seconds later, he was being guarded right past them. And that, well, while we're on the subject of embarrassing debuts, remember Mike Furness's hot tag in Knoxville?

That was for you. Yes. Doug Furness, the world's strongest man, an incredible Japanese star. He went to the University of Tennessee, was a football star, was legitimately one of the strongest men in the world, everybody knows who Doug Furness is, right?

And he's the one that ripped the door off the cage in Knoxville. It led to me stealing it for Kane to rip the door off the hell and cell. And he called me when I was running Smoky Mountain and said, my brother Mike, who also played football at the University of Tennessee was a good amateur athlete. My brother Mike, he wants to learn how to wrestle.

If you guys will train him and break him in, I'll come out. Because by then Doug was living in California. He went to Japan so much for Baba, like every six weeks, but he would come out and work like the big Christmas show and some of my big events at Knoxville, right? Oh, a great local hero.

So we train Mike as best we can. Horner worked with him and I think Tom and Jimmy Del Rey because we were going to make the match the Furnace Brothers against the Heavenly Bodies, Tom Pritchard and Jimmy Del Rey. So he worked with Mike and Mike made

some TV appearances and he was not he was not either a natural in the ring or a natural promo. You could tell it wasn't he wasn't his brother Doug unfortunately, not say he wasn't a nice fellow. But you know, Doug's going to be in.

right so we shoot the angle where we beat up mike furnace he calls his brother doug christmas night in knoxville the big event our biggest crowd one of our big crowds of the year that and the big august show and it's going to be the furnace brothers against heavily bodies well because mike was going to continue on with us you know and continue wrestling whereas dog would only make an appearance here and there and also because doug was more experienced Doug said, I'll sell, get to heat on me, and then let's give Mike the tag. He can make the comeback, and then we'll do, you know, the finish. And that way, I can get it right for Mike, and he'll look like a bit.

Okay, perfect, right? So Doug Furness, the heavily body's getting him in a ring, and he's selling his ass off. And they're kicking a shit out of him, and I'm drawing a referee, and they're double teaming him, and people are getting hot. We're trying to build for this big hot tag. and finally the heavenly bodies go further. I think it was, if I can't, if I remember right, Tom is holding Doug and Jimmy comes off the top

with this big moonsault body block and Doug moves and Tom flattener, Jimmy flattens Tom and they're both down and Doug struggles to the corner and dive and makes the tag. And Tom's coming up and as Mike steps through the ropes, he runs as fast and as hard as he can, three steps and leaps up in the air and hits Tom Pritchie.

with a flying clothesline and Tom takes a big bump and Mike spins around in the air and lands on the mat and continues rolling and rolls all the way out of the ring on the other side and drops to the floor. Just couldn't stop himself and went right under the bottom rope and disappeared. And Jimmy. Jimmy Del Rey is coming up to take the second clothesline and turns out. around and Tom's laying there flat of his back and there's nobody else in the fucking ring.

And then you see you see a hand come up on the other side of the and grab the bottom rope. And he's pulled himself in and slid right back in and ran as fast he could have jimmy and leveled him for the clothesline. And God damn,

my nurse, who went from the apron of one side of the ring through the ropes into the ring, through the air down, and under the bottom rope on the other side in like two and a half seconds. Oh, God, damn it. Do you think it'll be a Summer Slam or the Royal Rumble when Stephanie comes back to wave to the fans and blow out her quad? The question is, and maybe at Halloween they can have a special three-legged race with Shane

and Vince tied together. All right. You know, it's funny, did Vince even blow out his? quads last year? What happened when Vince couldn't take the stunner? He didn't blow on his quads, did he? No, he just crumpled like a goddamn fucking used slinky. And that's the same what

Shane's like when. He looked exactly the same. There's going to be a segment when the McMahon's come out there and just flop around the ring. And here he is, ladies and gentlemen, he walks, he talks, he crawls on his belly like a reptile. Shane McMan.

man I feel so bad no with the stunner Vince just I think well I don't know You want to talk feeling bad it was Shane

Shane famous last words Hey dad we should buy UFC So now let's see where they got home now Vince says to Shane Well Shane god damn it pal You blew your quad out WrestleMania 30 seconds in and he can say well you motherfucker

at the Royal Rumble you blew both your quads just sliding into the ring and then he can say besides I told you to buy that UFC now look where we are oh well I told you WrestleMania it was fun God damn it but if

so anyway who else fell out of the ring I can think of it see the problem is Shane's going to go I can't let that be in the last something I'm seen on the grandest stage of them all. And what's the other option? It's either I come out there, I do the simple stuff, or I dive off a giant structure. Hey.

So I'm worried about it next time. You know what? Here is a very interesting thing. Is the new $21 billion company to be named whatever that's not completely and totally operated by the WWE? Are they going to a little? allow a 53-year-old father of two who hasn't wrestled in several years come out and do something like that, or even a 56-year-old Stone Cold Steve Austin or a however-year-old, whoever the guy.

Well, it's funny, on CNBC earlier, Scott Wapner asked Ari Emanuel and Vince McMahon. He said, what if Mr. McMahon, the character, wants to come out and do something in the ring? Is that okay? and before Ari Emanuel answered, Vince is like, he's dead, the character's dead. But Ari Emanuel said, yes, whatever he wants to do, he's allowed to do. So I think they're going to still operate under Vince's rules. No, but think about this.

I agree the liability is much bigger. They might have until their legal department, A, all that, Sinclair Broadcasting, they were a billion dollar company, at least on paper, when they bought Ring of Honor. Point me to you. legal department. And listen here, we were in Charleston, West Virginia.

The goddamn, I get a phone call from the legal department saying that the guys can't take part in a chicken wing eating contest at Hooters that night that was our sponsor. Or the fans couldn't. The guys could, but the fans couldn't, or something. I said, what do you tell? Well, there's a liability. I said, wait a minute. So if one of these motherfuckers chokes on a fucking chicken bone at Hooters, because

we said, hey, get in a contest to see if you need more chicken wings than Jay Briscoe, they're going to be able to sue us? Oh, it could. God, I threw my cell phone all the way across the building. So what I'm saying to you is now that live in front of 60 to 80,000 people, depending on the report, and God and everybody on pay-per-view and streaming television, Shane McMahon seriously injured himself and is going to require surgery, he's 53 years old, doing a leapfrog,

are they going to have another situation where, okay, if you're past such and such age, you can't participate or you've got to pass a physical for any kind of interaction because they don't understand what can be worked and what can't be? I mean, Steve Austin could come out. He's not going to try to do a fucking leapfrog. He's got a bad knee. But he can still be. Steve Austin as we saw in doing Steve Austin things,

but will they be able to differentiate that between the people that can get by with it and do what they need to do and won't hurt themselves and the people that obviously or apparently can't? And who's going to be determining that? The legal department, liability, multi-billions of dollars. It's not like, you know, well, dad said I could anymore. Anyway, and speaking of liability, the next match, but answer me that there, Brian Last, what do you think?

Until we're shown otherwise, I'm going to go under the assumption they're going to keep doing things the way they do it. They are better about these things than AEW. I think we will see at WrestleMania 40, Shane versus Dante Martin, the big match. But, you know, I mean, Shane shouldn't be out there to begin with. I think Shane's got a better chance of being on WrestleMania 40 than Dante Martin, but go ahead. But I mean, Shane shouldn't be out there to begin with. There's a difference

between a Steve Austin being billed to be there and used in a limited capacity to take advantage of his star power versus a 50-something who shouldn't be doing. It's one thing if Shane went out and just delivered the bad punches. Okay. And then you sent him up for Snoop to do something. But as soon as he went to do something physical that he can't do, it just made the whole thing look bad. Well, and I'm not arguing with you about that. I'm saying that, I'm saying that, I think that somebody in the legal department wouldn't know the difference in how that could be handled. Who's legal department? Does WWE maintain their own legal department or is it part of Endeavors? See, that's the thing. How many jobs in corporate are going to be eliminated because of redundancy?

And also duplication. Then we get to the part of the program, Brian, that I made you watch the debut of a brand new super diva and I heard about this and somebody had tweeted what in the world is Cornett gonna say and it was before I intended to watch the program anyway but it was before I'd actually watched it so I'm looking out all I know is this this person's name and here it became

you saw it right you saw the whole thing yeah I'll just get it out of the way before you even ask my only thoughts It's like if Mabel fuck gold dust, this is what would happen. So ladies and gentlemen, all of you who didn't watch NXT, and that's a bunch of you, here's what we saw.

Super diva popped up on the screen and in a spotlight in the entranceway in front of the screen was a fat guy sitting in a chair wearing sunglasses and the chair spins around

until you see this fucking character he stands up he's wearing a full body suit of shiny multicolored plether and he's blowing kisses to the fans

on his way to the ring and as you mentioned there's an element a lot of influence of gold dust on this where he's constantly feeling himself and refreshing himself and the gestures that gold dust did

and as well it does look like Mabel if Mabel lost 200 pounds and didn't have any of the skin tightened up in this outfit he looks like if Mabel was a popped Macy's Parade Balloon a human waterbed perhaps might be a more app description,

you could show a drive-in movie on his bulbous ass and his man boobs looked like two possums fighting in a pillowcase. And this exhibition is what's coming down the entranceway

to get into the ring to fight a guy named Sean Gallagher. And the announcer was actually actually trying to, and I mean, he was, you could tell his voice that he was asked to impart this information and he was doing it with a verbal eye roll.

But the announcer was building this guy up as a big deal beloved by the fans. He brings joy to everyone. Listen to the crowd, the ovation. They're at their performance center location and it's all the friends and family and they mustered up 30 people to fucking chant Quincy, Quincy. Quincy Elliott is this guy's name. And he started the match by shaking his ass at the guy,

feeling himself up like gold dust, and doing an odd little dance that made his mud flaps bounce over and over. I'm surprised he didn't blacken both of his eyes. this guy I've seen I've seen fat guys all the way up to the McGuire twins in wrestling

and I've seen giants and I've seen oddities and I've seen people with deformities I have never seen anybody that looked less like that they should be a professional athlete of any type being portrayed as a professional athlete

than this guy. I could win a bodybuilding contest against this guy as I sit here right now if me and him were the only ones in it. That's how bad he looks. And obviously there was very little match. The guy took his arm, grabbed a wrist lock.

He rolled through the wrist lock and blew a kiss at the guy, threw two punches, hit the ropes in a very odd way, came off with a flying uppercut, dragged the guy over to the corner, did more, like gold dust

meets Yokozuna, gets up on the ropes, does the gold dust thing, and does the bonsai drop. One, two, three. And I thought, I have really got to pick up the pace of my fast forwarding.

What is the audience for something like this? How are they're trying to revamp their program on this same program. They're changing the logo. They're making a statement that they're always going to, they might evolve, but they're always going to be around, which is another way of saying, we're sorry what we've showed you the last year.

They obviously Triple H has in mind to make NXT more important. And they've supposedly made Sean Michaels the one in charge. Is this, is Sean Michaels now unable to control his sense of humor and thinks we ought to, you know, but I mean, what's next after this? Jojo, the dog-faced boy? How is, it's not like there have been a ton of fucking

rotten-looking physical specimens in one way or another in wrestling that were talented at either speaking or working and could draw some money because of their bizarre appearance. I can't see any of them in this guy. this had to be some kind of ribs, some kind of joke, somebody thought it'll be funny, look at the state of him. You know, you can't tell me they signed this guy to a developmental contract. And has he ever wrestled before anywhere?

Where did he come from? Why would you do this to a program that you're about to fucking revamp? So those are a lot of questions. that you don't have answers to, but I'm completely in the dark of why, especially on this particular week, they would present something that looked like that. I don't have any answers for you. You have much silence. I go back to what you said earlier.

I don't know what the audience is for this. I would like to see him against Nikita Lions. That would be interesting. But I don't know what the audience is for this. I think there's an audience for I mean I'm a broken record at this point There's an audience for serious wrestling Without it turning into a talent show

For fucking people that didn't do the talent show in school I don't know what this is and I don't like it And see this isn't even cosplay wrestling The gymnastics the high school cheerleaders It isn't that aspect of it It isn't garbage death match wrestling It's just it's a parody It's just look, let's see how much of a joke we can make this business and anybody that wants to get in it

and how bad we can make our own product and decision-making look. It's not like this particular style of wrestling is not for you and me, Brian, but has its fans like with, as I said, the flyers or the lucha guys or the garbage match guys. or this guy is not only not good at any style of wrestling, but the only person that would be a fan of this on a wrestling program is somebody who wants to make fun of wrestling, because they don't like it, or they want it to look stupid or silly to downgrade it.

Well, in that case, not a lot of those people are probably watching the wrestling program. Just a thought. Maybe he could wrestle. Hey, look, this is the first time we saw him. I saw him. I saw him throw two punches, hit the ropes, throw that uppercut forearm and do the bonsai drop. I guarantee you that's the four or five best things he can do or elsewise.

It wouldn't have just been that. How many weeks do you think he's going to overdo it with the blowing kisses and touching himself before he realizes he's doing it too much? He got that about 45 seconds into his debut. Oh, it was way, it was just so much. If someone's got to talk to him and say, hey, a little bit. But this is the whole match, you can't do it. But anyway, so that was that. That's what, and again, that's what people were talking about after the fucking thing.

Besides the revamp and the new logo, that was the only thing you got any attention, and it was the wrong kind. Well, there it is the worst of WWE, Volume 1 Omnibus, Jim, a lot of matches, and, again, the visit to Titan Towers and a lot of cinematic stuff, and can't forget, although I did until I saw this Ray Mysterio losing an eye, so many things we talked about. Fortunately, he had an extra one at home, and, you know, everything's fine now. And, you know, oh, boy, howdy, as we mentioned at the top of the program,

hopefully much of these concepts or things are in the past now that things have changed and there's a new sheriff in town, but they're still going to do some off. I mean, model girl, once again, model girl. there's always the chance that she could do something spectacularly bad. They've still got some questionable concepts going on so we'll keep an eye out for volume two. That we will and of course it'll be wherever you find your favorite podcast on the experience and the drive-thru you can use your eyes on YouTube,

the official Jim Cornett YouTube channel and your ears and go to the archive. Patreon.com slash cornet. For Jim Cornett, I'm the great Brian last. Experio