Jocko Podcast - DEF 06: You Can't Control Other People. You Can Only Control You.

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

When we fail to do what we are supposed to do, it hurts us to admit it's our fault. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

Discipline equals freedom episode six sitting here with echo Charles a blah blah blah blah Blah words words words excuses excuses why do we do that why do we do that I can tell you a big reason A very prominent reason why we're making excuses why we're blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah It's because of our ego when something goes wrong when we don't do what we're supposed to do when we fail in terms of our discipline on a daily basis. When we fail, when we drop the ball, when we don't get it done, it hurts our ego to admit that it was us. So we use a bunch of words and a bunch of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And sometimes we blame inanimate objects, which is kind of comical and kind of ridiculous, right? People blame inanimate objects for their own shortfalls in life. Okay? The donut somehow snuck into my mouth, right? Sure. Yeah. It's the donut's fault that I'm freaking just, I got powdered sugar all over my face right now.

It's the donut's fault. Or the alarm clock decided it wasn't going to wake me up today. That's the, of the alarm clock didn't go off. An inanimate object. But it's the, it's the alarm clock's fault, not mine. You've heard that before, right? Yes, sir. The bed covers wrestled me to keep me in bed.

You ever heard someone say, I couldn't get out of bed today? It was too comfortable or it was too cold or it was too warm, you know, something like this. They at least it. I at least have heard someone many times say, I couldn't get out of bed today. I couldn't get out of bed today. Look, was it the pillow? Was it the warmth? Was it the whatever?

I don't know what it was, but I know that they're telling me that their bed caused them not to get up. They're blaming their shortfall and their failure in life on an inanimate object. So this is totally freaking ridiculous. Totally ridiculous. And everyone kind of knows that's a little bit ridiculous. So what do we do? We tend more often than not to blame other people. Other people.

Because those are people. They can make things happen. They can make adjustments, right? It sounds a lot worse to get beat by a donut than to get beat by a person, right? So more often than not, we blame other people. We blame our spouse. We blame our boss. We blame our subordinates.

We blame our coworkers. We blame our peers. We blame our friends. We blame our enemies. We blame our kids. We blame our neighbor. We blame everybody about what our shortfalls are. It's everybody else's fault.

Because they didn't show up. They didn't pick me up. They made me late. They were late. They needed me. The boss called me. They didn't tell me what was going on. They didn't tell me I had to be here.

They, they, they, they, they. That's what we're doing. Just excuses. Excuses. Excuses. Here's the thing about other people. And here's the thing about blaming other people. It's a lie.

It's a lie. You're lying to yourself. Here's the deal. You can't control other people and you shouldn't for one second think that you can't. You shouldn't. You shouldn't put any reliance on your success on some other person's behavior because you can't control them. You don't know what they're going to do. People are freaking crazy.

Think of the shortfalls you've got and you don't think other people are going to let you down. You don't think somebody's going to show up late? You don't think someone's gonna call you with an emergency? Some panic situation? You don't think that's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. You can't control them. The only person you can control is you. Or at least the person that you better control is you.

I'm going to the book right now. I'm going to the discipline equals freedom field manual. Let me tell you about a little bit about this. You can't control other people. You can't make them what you want them to be. You can't make them who you want them to be. The only person you can control is you. So focus on making yourself who you want to be.

Faster, stronger, smarter, more humble, less ego. Discipline your body, free your mind. I used to say that a lot in the early podcast, free your mind. It's I think when I said it, when I would say, free your mind, I don't think it landed with a lot of people at the time. I think I've gotten better at articulating what that means. Free your mind, open your mind. I think I use open your mind now more often than free your mind. The same, I mean the same thing.

I think it's better. I think it's easier for people to understand because people understand closed mind. They understand that if I have a closed mind, I don't want, there's no new idea. Yeah open mind they go okay. I understand what that means that's the opposite of a closed mind But free your mind they don't understand what it means it's hard to comprehend what it means to have your mind not be free It's a little harder to comprehend that when I say your mind is not free it's a little bit easier But say like oh free mind versus what slave mind? Yeah trapped the mind something like that so it's hard to it's hard to truly come What I don't comprehend what that means even at a surface level. I've started saying open your mind more

But it's the same thing when I wrote this book free your mind That's what I meant open your mind up be able to comprehend be able to see be able to understand more That's what our goal is discipline your body body free your mind get up early and go Get after it and you'll become the person you want to be and you become that person through one Small decision at a time and that kind of strange to think about one small decision at a time One little decision at a time and who makes those decisions who makes those decisions? I do you make those decisions I make those decisions We have control and listen can you get yourself in a situation where it might take some time to get out of? Yep, we can we can be there

I've told this story many times my first deployment to Iraq we move into these old broken down buildings on a on a former Iraqi military base and what are we doing we move in there the day we move in there we start squaring them away we start fixing things we start building them out I built myself a desk and a bed and partitions between other rooms for where other guys were sleeping that's what we're doing we're immediately squaring that stuff away we're immediately making a habitat that we want to live in. The moment from moving in there to start to improve the situation was zero seconds.

As soon as I walked into this place where I got to live, I'm trying to fix it stuff and squared away and move it forward. A couple, a month into that deployment, we went and did a hit on a building. And I get in there and there's the kitchen, what you would call the kitchen,

which is basically one big room, the kitchen, living room the dining room were all kind of one big room and in that room about four feet from the counter where the sink was where you would prepare food was the trough where you would go to the bathroom and there was multiple generations living there and I remember thinking myself if I moved into this place today in one second I would be fixing this to where I wouldn't have to prepare my food and go to the bathroom within range of each other within a within a within

three feet of each other. That's just not cool. I would have started fixing them. That's an attitude. Could I have fixed it all immediately that day? No, you're gonna have to take time to build that stuff out. But I would have fixed that small problem. I would have fixed that small problem immediately.

So when we are in a situation, there is a way to get out. Can you do it overnight? And sometimes it seems overwhelming. You might find yourself right now in a situation where you don't like your job, you don't like where you're living, you don't like what's going on, You don't like what's going on in your life. And it might seem like, oh, how am I ever going to get out of here? It's going to take time.

Did you ever see the movie The Great Escape? Classic war movie. And there's a bunch of American soldiers and some Brits and whatnot. And they're trapped in a Nazi war camp, prisoner of war camp. And they come up with plans and they're trying to break out of their... For you, I guess the Shawshank Redemption, right? These guys don't like the situation that they're living in. What do they do?

They start to come up with a plan to get out of there. By the way, that's not only a plan to get out of there. It's also how they're going to stay sane. It's also how they're going to look at the world and dig up some kind of control over their life. And that's what you can do in your life. The minute that you say the guards are never going to let me out of here and the judicial system was bad and I got screwed over by my wife framed me. and that's why I'm locked up in this prison, because that's what they're all saying.

But you can do something about it. And you take a little tiny step. You take a little tiny step. You take out the little, what, they use, the mineral hammer. Oh, on Shawshank. Yeah, on Shawshank. Yeah, it was a rock hammer. Little rock hammer.

Little tiny rock hammer. So he could look at minerals and carve a hole in the wall over months and years, years. Years. Years. That's what we're all doing. That's what we're all doing making little decisions not just making little decisions then taking action That backs up those decisions and you got to keep that strategic vision in mind You got to keep the long-term vision in mind because you think about what do you want to do at night? You're in prison

You're at night do you really want to sneak around and have to pick away at this thing quietly for three hours to carve out one quarter of an inch? You don't feel like doing that It'd be easier just to lay down But he had strategic vision Of how he's going to get out of there That's the way our lives are We got to take these small actions over time And if you blame other people

And you blame other things You're not going to take any action So get control of yourself Get control of yourself Come up with a plan and take action Daily That's what we're doing And that's the discipline.

For more of it, go to thedefreset.com. Go to jacofuel.com, originusa.com, eschelonfront.com, jaccosstore.com. You know the deal. It all starts with discipline.