Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: Attention-Seeking Behavior | Is This All There is To Life?

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

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This is the Junko Underground Podcast. Number 76 sitting here with EC, Echo Charles, Echo Charlie. Attention seeking behavior. This is like good things to know and understand. I was checking out a website about this called very wellmind.com. A lot of people want and like attention. Look, do you get some people that are just shy and just want to blend in? yo they exist there's not a lot of them to be honest with you but you remember those kids in

high school I'd always be friends with those kids in high school like they didn't want to talk to anybody or whatever they're kind of real shy but there's some people they're very few most people kind of want that attention sometimes it's caused by low self-esteem sometimes it's caused by loneliness sometimes caused by jealousy this website said little kids do it and that's not it's not unhealthy for little kids to want some attention right you don't have to worry about it they're kind of they're kind of growing and seeing what the boundaries are in the world so that's cool there's some actual disorders histrionic personality disorder this is under the cluster of dramatic personality disorders these are people that crave attention they're fixated

on their appearance they're emotional they're dramatic they need constant validation there's borderline personality disorder. This is another dramatic personality disorder. And this is the people that think everyone's out to get them and they're in unstable relationships and they have low self-esteem and they have low self-image and they have intense bursts of anger and they might even harm themselves. They have impulsive behavior. So these are all things that fall into this attention seeker.

And there's also narcissistic personality disorder and oppositional defiant disorder and intermittent explosive disorder so there's a bunch of legitimate psychological problems that people can have that is an extreme version of seeking attention but i'm i don't want maybe we'll cover that at some point but that's not what i that's not what why i was thinking about this i was thinking about it for just normal people and actually wanting to get attention seeking under control for normal people and there was just an interesting list on on this website that I thought it would be smart to cover because I think it is a good thing to know and understand to make sure that you can keep them in mind so that if we if I am

attention seeking I know what I know what I'm doing and then I can stop doing it because here's the thing about this, when you're seeking attention, everybody knows it. That's the, that's the, there's a scary, horrible thing about being a person is when you're not aware of what's happening. You're not aware of what you're doing. And most horrible is when you think other people can't see what you're doing. That to me is one of the worst disorders, just general disorders. You know, the person that thinks they're getting away with something and they're not. They think you're going to say something.

They, you always like to use the example of names. dropping because it's you know something that people do and no they think that no one notices that you just drop the name but everybody sees it and everybody thinks the same thing oh your name dropping trying to impress me with something stupid so it's good that you bring that up because that's something that anybody could think you need to do right you think you need to do it yeah you don't need to do it and everybody knows when you're doing it so here's some of these things that they put on this list. Posting excessively on social media vying for likes and comments.

Interesting. Yeah. Right? Gotta watch out for that one. If you find yourself like constantly wanting to just get on there. Yeah. Making comments online and in person that seemed calculated to make people feel uncomfortable. That was a little weird for me.

I didn't quite understand that one. Maybe it's because. making people feel uncomfortable makes that people pay attention to you. Yeah. This one's obvious bragging about material wealth, physical appearances, and personal successes. And that's one, there's nothing worse, man. You know what I mean?

And man, how much of social media, there's like a legitimate, if you put a pie chart of social media and one of the sloth, slices of pie was bragging about material wealth, bragging about physical appearance, and bragging about personal success, there would be a, there would be at least a slice of pie. Yes, sir. Maybe even a big piece. I believe that. Yes. Quarter?

Quarter. I wouldn't be surprised. But then again, that could be just skewed with the people I follow. Because in my experience, I would say, yeah, quarter. Cool. Yeah. Quarter. Seen, right?

Is there any way to post a picture of you and your freaking. car your new car that and it's an expensive car real nice luxury car is there any way to post a picture of your luxury car and not fall into this category that's a good that's a good that's a good doesn't it kind of seem though like almost like it depends on the person's personality because like there is and actually is there a difference between sharing your happiness with Your followers like you know like most people aren't influencers. They're just normal people. You know what's a huge line on this? Is it really your car? Yeah, so okay. So there's like a whole realm of people. Yeah, because there's people that have badass cars and they love cars and they're like yeah, I just got this badass car and I don't even I don't even consider that to be Bragging or whatever I consider it to be oh this dudes loves cars that that's what I was saying and they're stoked. Yeah just like you know when someone graduates um college or high school where yeah, yeah, or it's their online degree, whatever.

Like, they're just so happy they're sharing it with their people. You know, their friends, really. They're not influencers. You know, and that's the most people. They don't have, they're not influencers. There's just normal people. So it depends on that guy's person. Oh, that person's personality.

They get a new car. It's like, oh my God, you know how you, I don't know, you see this where it's like, oh, my daughter finally turned 16 and got her driver's license. Like, are they bragging? Because everybody gets their driver's like, it's just happy. They're not bragging. They're just happy. You know what I'm saying?

So it could be that. Most of the time, though, kind of like how you, Kind of hinted there like you could smell it all. Yeah. You could see what they're doing. If you rented a car and you're photographing it. Yeah, that's different, bro. That's kind of, that's kind of not.

That's like another level. That's bragging about personal success or accomplishment at the same time, lying about it. Yeah. So watch out for this one. Because you might be generally, genuinely stoked about something. Yeah. You might be kind of bragging. Yeah.

And you got to be careful. Just make sure, man. Just pay attention to it. I'm trying to think of what I've posted something that's been. What have I posted? Okay. So then again, again, I don't know. I can't read your mind.

But this is, and actually, I shouldn't even say it because I don't want to come off like I'm accusing people who have done this of doing this. But you know how like, you know, you write books. So if it does good on Amazon, you post like,

oh my gosh, and you say thank you guys for this. But or is there a little, little sprinkle of that bragging that you got that best sell? You know, Like, the thing is, I don't know, but as far as the actions go, that's one of them. That's one of the actions. I don't know your mindset.

So I don't know if that, that really is that. But that's one of the actions for sure. That's a definite one. Like, hey, just made it bestseller list again. New York Times. Yeah. Or thank you guys for 100,000 subscribers. So these are humble brags.

These are kind of humble brags, right? Yeah, same. All brags, though. But, and then again, I don't know because there is a very specific difference. between someone sharing their happiness about something, whether they accomplish it or something like, it's not bragging, they're sharing their happiness, you know, to like their people.

It depends, man. It's hard to differentiate it. Yeah, and that's the thing with this is, I think you will know. Yeah, that's, you know what I'm saying. You know what you're doing. And like I said, you could, a lot of times, I don't know, but a lot of times it feels like you could kind of smell it on them

or if someone else does it, you can be like, I see what you're doing, cool, congratulations, but I do see that you're bragging. or if it's genuine, usually there's some pattern of, you know, genuineness or whatever. So you're like, oh, you know, like, congratulations. Your daughter got her license or whatever, you know. Or you got a sick car. Good.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. That's a sick car. Yeah. Got a sick guitar. Yeah. There's a lot of.

People freak out in the hunting world, right? In the hunting world, people freak out about that. About what? Like posting pictures of their kill. Yep. Yeah. Is that bragging usually? I feel like that's legit bragging.

Fuck, yeah, you went out because a lot of times you don't catch nothing, right? A lot of times, yeah. Yeah, like, so my younger brother, Yata, he's a spearfishing one, yeah. It was really good. He probably caught this 70-pound fish one time. I forgot what kind. Huge.

He was like, legendary stuff. Anyway, and so anyway, he would post stuff that he catches, lobsters, like all this stuff. And just, you know, just like in his little community, the other guys who do that. I never saw that as like, bragging about personal success. It's more like, yeah, like it's almost like

it's a legitimate brag where you should be bragging. You know, like that's the whole reason you go out. You got some success. Freaking post that shit. That's what it feels like. So let's just be careful. Yeah. Okay, we'll walk away with that.

Let's be careful about material, well, physical appearances, and personal success. Just be careful. It's a warning, right? It's be cognizant. Cognizant. Let's say you do it, but you know all of a sudden it becomes habitual, right? Like you're doing it all the time.

And maybe you're doing it. Reading the comments, right? So just be careful of it. Next one is acting like everything that happens is a that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to jaco underground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external. platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support

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