Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: How Are You Treating People?

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

How do you treat people?Mental preparation. Important advice for time management. Emotional control in high stress situations. Methods to get out of debt.Navigation problems within groups. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

This is the Janko Underground Podcast number 118 sitting here with Echo Charles, and you are a good person to discuss this subject with. That is how to treat other people, but I'm going to get a little bit more specific than just other people in general. Yeah. But how to treat people that, let's say, I guess a good way to describe this would be in the service industry. And the reason I say this is because you were a bouncer for many, many years. Sure. And I'm sure that you have experienced,

how many years were you a bouncer for? Seven. Seven years. Yeah. So that's a lot of Friday nights. That's a lot of Saturday nights. One of the nights was big down at the bitter end back in the day. Friday, Saturday.

Just it? Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Okay. That's a lot of nights. You did that for seven years. Think about that. It's a lot of experience interacting with other people. Yeah.

So you got treated well, right? You got treated unwell. Yeah. Get treated poorly. Yeah, yeah. Maybe even you were disrespected at sometimes. Sure. No doubt about it.

Give me an example of someone that would come in that you'd be like, I'm going to take care of this person. How do they treat you? Nicely. Were they over the top? Did they have to slip you a hundo or anything like that? They don't have to necessarily, but there are many ways to treat me nicely. as a bouncer treat a bouncer or the doorman and whatever you want to call nicely um bribery yes works

for sure but can bribery cover up being an asshole uh it can mitigate it but there's always it makes it kind of weird for sure but if they have this weird expectation that it will then no but if it's like if they're being a dick whatever whatever and then they later on say hey I was a dick

and then they give you money yes it helps a lot even compared to if they just say hey I'm sorry even though that helps a lot but if they say I'm sorry and they give you money oh you're flipped

but what if they're rolling up to the door and they're like hey I got four friends you need to let them in and they hand you a yeah like and that has happened to answer your question no no that doesn't

does not help. So the kind, yeah, when they come in trying to like essentially love, so what do you call it? So when you sub, sub whatever, when they basically position their self as like superior to you. Oh, okay. And like right off the bat and real aggressively. And then they throw out money kind of like, here's your money kind of thing. Of course you're going to let me do whatever I say I want to do kind of thing. Yes, that is the step in the wrong direction. And you say, I'm sorry, sir, that doesn't work here. Yes, sir. That's exactly what happened. Now, so, so that's the nice example. or the good example of someone that you're going to take care of kind of, meaning you're going to be cool to them.

If something happens, you kind of be on their side a little bit, right? If there's something goes down. So how are they treating you? What are they doing to you? Yep, they're being nice. I would say treating you like a person and not just some spiel. Yeah, I think that's kind of what it is, treat you like a person, like trying to kind of like what do you call level with you, I guess.

If they can do a genuine good job with that, that'll work for sure. How do you distinguish between You ever had someone There's two things I've been talking about I was talking to someone about the other day Looking someone in the eyes Yeah right

But also saying your name Yeah For me If someone says my name Repeatedly It seems weird It's one of those things echo Where when I hear it

I'm not sure Why they're doing it It's I can't quite figure out while they're doing it. Does that ever happen to you, Echo? Yeah. So you see what I just did? I did it twice. Well, yeah.

People do that. Oh, yeah. Fully. And so, yes. It's a little awkward. I am very familiar with this phenomenon. And I did some thinking. So it might,

it might be spot on. It feels like it's spot on. But I don't know. You tell me. So when someone's trying to like, when someone's, it depends on their personality, first off, because some people,

that's how they talk. Like, you get an official talker, like maybe some. dude and you talk to him in real life, like that's how they talk a lot of the time. Did you ever see Wolf of Wall Street? Yeah. So in Wolf of Wall Street, one of the phone scenes where he's selling, Leonardo DiCaprio selling something, some penny stock, he says the name.

I think it's a little bit too much. He's like, John, let me tell you, we haven't had seen a stock like this in at least six months, John. I'm telling you, John, this is, he says it like that. And I thought to myself, I get it. Yeah. I see what you're doing. And maybe on the phone, maybe it's a little bit different. Maybe a little bit different.

I think you're right. But it still is awkward to throw someone's name at the end of each sentence. It just, to me, doesn't seem right. I mean, is it the same to you, Acko? It is the same, but to throw it in there like one time or like maybe maximum two times. Depends, but like, for example, to throw it in one time does help, I think. but at the same time so there's pre and then there's post

right so like if then there's just a real general way of putting in where if I'm talking to you let's say there's this thing where maybe I'm trying to get something from you or convince you of something or whatever and then you throw in the name I think oh I can feel that

but if they don't throw in the name and then afterwards whether you gave it whether they got from they got from you what they wanted or they convinced you of whatever. And then they throw it in once, then it works. It makes you feel better. Okay.

Let me get a little bit more specific. Yeah. We're at a bar or sorry, a restaurant. True. There's a waitress. Wachers comes over. Hi, I'm Beth. I'm here to be served her tonight.

Okay, cool. Then she walks by and you go, Beth. You call her by her name. Yeah. I would say, excuse me, miss. You know what I mean? Yeah. It seems like when someone gives you their name

and they're working as a waitress or a waiter, it seems a little strange to me to be like, hey, David, it seems weird to me. I don't know. You know what, now that I'm even thinking about it, because yeah, there are all these examples that kind of like, wait, that wouldn't work given certain circumstances, but that would work actually really well under other circumstances.

Same scenario. So if it's almost like this weird wave that you got to go with like perfectly. And when you can land it, bro, you were rolling. But if you do it, if you're off step, like even like a little bit, it'll just work against you. I think I think so too. So give me an example of where it's going to work. You know, like say if it's a waiter, right? Waiters, right?

Instead of excuse me, as you say, Beth, you don't just bust it out necessarily like, oh, I saw the name tag. So I'm just going to start calling you Beth or whatever. Let's say you had some genuine questions about the menu or I don't know, something like this. And then it sort of came up naturally like, oh, you know, this thing. And, you know, you and Beth kind of have a relationship now above and beyond just like, hey, here and take your order, blah, blah, blah. Because if she's just saying the normal stuff, she'd say to every single customer, and then you start going above and beyond what the normal customer does,

then you're out of step a little bit, just a little bit. So it kind of throws you off. But if you're like, hey, is there a gluten-free thing? Oh, what about this? Oh, you know, like, and you're genuinely concerned about the many? Now your relationship gets a little deeper. See what I'm saying? once that depth starts to develop a little bit then you can throw out oh what's your name by the way

okay beth okay okay okay i'm just saying because you have a little bit more of a relationship that would warrant you calling her something a little bit more personal that's what it feels i think i might be a little bit hypersensitive about the name thing i think i might be overly sensitive i think i might be overly sensitive because to me like i wouldn't be surprised if people said no it's very i wouldn't be surprised if a waitress told me no we like it when you like i wouldn't be surprised if that was the consensus and i just didn't know it Yeah. It seems a little bit too personal, though.

So I liked it as a bouncer you brought this up. When, because I noticed that shit, too. When they're saying your name, you're like... Did you wear a name tag? Yeah. That said echo on it. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It seems a little bit much for me to say. Hold on a second, echo. You know what I mean? Seems a little weird. Yeah, beforehand. So, like, if someone, if the person didn't need anything from me or if they were leaving or something, and then they said, like, it felt good. too for it for a it felt good kind of like okay see I was wrong I am wrong but on the way in

though if they're like hey what's up echo and I'm like okay I see what you're doing that he's there's a pitch it's some kind of a pitch like on the on the wolf wall street or whatever like he's going heavy on the pitch so it's not as genuine but if they're saying it and they don't need anything from you you're kind of like well he's just being cool now at this point so I felt you know who did that to me Mario Lopez you know that is send you Oh yeah, yeah, the actor guy. Yeah, he's an actor. He's a jujitsu guy, right?

Jiu-Jitsu guy, yeah. That's how I know him. I don't know him from acting. I know him from the jiu-jitsu. Wow, I know him from everything. A.C. Slater days back in the day. What's A.C. Slater was his... He's in a kid show, right?

Yeah, yeah, saved by the bell. Okay. Oh, yeah. So I was at the bitter end. Mario Lopez rose in. I was like, oh, hell, it was on an off night, too. It was like a Wednesday or something like this. He came in.

He had two guys with him. I checked their ID. of course I don't check Mario Lopez's idea even though he had his idea ready that's how you know someone's cool he's not like hey you should know already you know who I am yeah and you know who I am yeah that's real too but that you ever that happen yeah oh yeah by anyone that's recognizable to normal no so there's people that were like do you know I am yeah I'm famous San Diego yeah like guys who like everyone knows me here you know like but um so he rolled in or whatever two friends, friends showed the idea, whatever, super nice or whatever.

And he's San Diego guy. So you, you know, you'd expect him to be like, hey, you know I am? Nope, didn't, right? Everyone knew I liked Saved by the Bell. They played this, this was kind of a big deal at the time. It was like a little prank they played on me. So anyway. What's the premise of Saved by the Bell?

What's it about? Just teenage years. The struggle. High school? Yeah, high school. The struggle. What's his, is he the main guy? He's kind of the second guy.

Who's the main guy? Zach Morris, who is Mark Paul. Gossler. So he was like the popular main dude. And then there's A.C. Slater who's kind of his rival. But Slater was the athlete who could dance. He had every, he brother. This guy could do anything.

He could dance. He could dance good. He was an athlete. He played all these full wrestler, like badass dude. He had big muscles and stuff. Yeah, yeah. He's the man. Anyway, so he goes in the bartender.

Casey Jones is his name. Bartender. And then one of the waitresses, Maggie. They conspire. They tell Mario Lopez. They're like, hey, that guy. echo outside. He's like a massive fan of saved by the bell and you and all this stuff. And that's for real? Yeah. Oh yeah. This was like back in. When did you watch save what if

like an, you know, high school stuff like that? Who? What's it about? No, no, no, like college time. Yeah. What's it about? It's like, it's actually pretty good. It's funny now that you if you watch it now, it's like kind of whatever, but in in its day, it's freaking good. Wait, who would watch it? Was it meant for, oh, I thought saved by the bell was for like 12 year olds. Oh, maybe. No, no, no. I watched it as a grown-off straight up.

It was freaking fun. Anyway, it was awesome, Shale. My opinion, still is, by the way. So they tell him this, hey, that guy's a big fan of Save by the Bell. Like, his name is Echo. He's, you know, he's a big fan. Just so you know, that's what's going on. So he was like, cool.

I didn't know any of this. I was just working. So he was leaving, and he kind of had this smile on his face or whatever. And he goes, he goes, hey, Echo, thanks, man. And I was like, man, this guy is the coolest guy, probably in the world at this point. Because he's like this massive star or whatever, and he's being cool. And he said my name. So it helps.

It does help on the way out. He didn't say it on the way in. It's the time for it. It's the time for it. Exactly. Right. So being nice to people that are in service roles is going to garner you a lot better treatment in that situation. This is the main point that I'm trying to make. Right.

I was going to the airport the other day. I see people getting treated like bad. Yeah. The service people. Bro. I'm not, look, can people be jerks. Yes, they can.

But it's also their job. They got to do the thing. They got to, can you move your foot out of the aisle? Yeah, I'm sorry about that. You know what I mean? People get so hostile. Oh, like the flight attendant.

Towards a flight attendant, towards a TSA agent, towards a waiter, towards a waitress, towards, uh, you know, the guy behind the counter at the store.

Like, just be, if you're nicer. Here's what I know. So I, I used to have to make flights for myself and the Admiral, not the Admiral's aide. And then I'd have to try and get seats on the planes,

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