Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: How To Deal With Having a Child From a One Night Stand

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

>Join Jocko Underground< How To Deal With Having a Child From a One Night Stand.When to speak up at work when things have not been going the way they should. How to get back on top when your drowning in stress from Work, Home, Kids, and a new town. How to achieve your goals when you have trouble as a finisher and keep failing. How to get your great life back after you lost your dream job.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

This is the Jocko Underground podcast number 189 sitting here with Echo Charles. We've got some questions from you troopers. And we have got some answers in some cases. Some recommendations, some guidance, maybe just some things to think about. We're going to do our best. So let's get into it. Life is coming at us. Yeah.

Let's figure out a plan. Yeah. Yeah. All right, first question. Jocco, thank you for everything. Your books and podcasts have helped me through the tough times, the toughest times. Okay, I recently had a one-night stand with a girl I met that night, and she's now pregnant. abortion is illegal where I live, so I'll likely become a dad.

I don't plan to see her or the kid. I know it's not right. But this isn't someone I can build a future with. The quote, other than death, all failure is psychological. has kept me going. Any words of wisdom on how to move forward would mean a lot. Yeah, well, I think in this situation,

you're going to want to try and build some kind of amicable relationship with this woman, right? Maybe you're not going to marry her, apparently. Maybe she's not going to be your girlfriend, but you have, right now, a common interest and concern. And that is this kid that's on the way.

So imagine that you moved into a house and the house for whatever reason had an easement and you had a shared driveway with the next door neighbor. So you're both using the same driveway. You're going to want to get along with that person. That driveway is going to be, it's part of everything. It's part of our daily life. You're going to want to make sure that you both can shovel snow off the driveway, right? Both if it needs some kind of repair, there's a pothole in it. Hey, we both going to participate in this and make sure it's cool.

Make sure you're not parking your car, like where it's going to block me from getting to my garage up, you know, the driveway. So that's, I think, what the situation that you're in. You have like a common driveway, you know, you have a shared part of your life that you are going, you need. It's there. It's not going anywhere. It's part of your life. and so you want to get along with that neighbor. You want to have a good working relationship with that neighbor.

They don't ever have to come over for dinner. You don't ever have to barbecue. But you have to be able to say, hey, good morning. Hey, I'll shovel the snow tomorrow. Hey, I'll make sure that I fix that pothole since you did the last one. Hey, I'm going to be leaving my car this afternoon. I'm going to be washing it. Do you need to go anywhere?

Let me make sure I'm not washing it while you need to drive. You see what I'm saying? That's what we're going to have to do. You have a important part of your life that you share with someone else now. If you end up not getting along with this person and now they're doing everything from not shoveling any snow ever and not repairing any potholes. And then sometimes they might even be actively blocking the driveway purposely so you can't get out. And they might even do things that harm the driveway. And that's going to be bad.

So we don't want that. You are going, yes, so this does mean that you're going to have to provide, you're going to have to provide likely both time and money. And I say that you do that to the best of your ability. How much money can you provide? How much time can you provide? And do your best to provide as much as you can. Time and money. And here's the thing.

I'm assuming that you're a young person right now. And so it's difficult sometimes to understand how that will pay off, but there will be a reward in the end of your current investment. That's kind of where I'm at. Yeah. Yeah. You make it, you put this scenario, like you put a lot of clarity into it where, especially that driveway analogy, which is pretty much perfect, by the way. because I know people, you know, in this similar situation, not necessarily the one night stand scenario, but, you know, a situation where, hey, they had no intention of this given their relationship and then no intention of staying together, you know, and here comes the baby. And I think one of kind of the mistakes out the gate is they regard it as like this baby or this kid that's separate, you know, rather than, you know, as opposed to what might come naturally to maybe a cohesive family who plans for a new.

addition to the family and now this is a part of me that I have to out yeah we have to guide and develop through life as again care about and they care about it you know like it's like a um what to go integral kind of part of themselves and the family kind of a thing you know but you can still kind you can still do that and but instead of mom and dad being I don't know what we'd call lovers you know and they're just working relationship exactly right there's still parents there's So, you know, everything except for kind of the, you know, that romantic kind of part of it, you know. But yeah, like having a good neighbor. And of course, you got to flex.

I mean, you got to bend a little bit, you know, you got to let them have their time. You got to support them in their time. It's not always going to be comfortable, you know, whatever. But if you can kind of make that happen, you'd be surprised. I think, anyway, I think you'd be surprised how smoothly it can go. Track. Because, like, let's face it. You know, a lot of times the parents, like, they don't get along and they don't put effort into, like, getting along, you know.

Just like, oh, she wants to, you know, a lot of times they're, someone will get mad. Oh, I had them, you know, let's say they have a boy, right? And the guy gets a half custody, the girl gets half custody. And it's like, oh, well, I had them freaking more time while you were out on vacation or something like this. They treated it as almost like this burden sometimes, you know, or they'll get mad that, oh, you had them too much now, you know, and they start fighting with each other, all this stuff or whatever. But, yeah, it's not how it works, you know. Sometimes I feel like if you get along you can kind of bend with that like oh no no you want them for like a month You know you guys going to somewhere freaking go have fun you know like let me know what I can do to support you know

Guys can go through life like smoothly you know Mm-hmm It's way better unless you get the girl who wants the relationship and then the guy who doesn't or vice versa or whatever Then you got some some more work to do I think Yeah, work to do yeah you got to plan that thing out I guess I don't know Check there are ways All right next question hello jocco as a department specialists, I experienced daily micromanagement from my direct supervisor.

Recently, during a critical one-time mission with a tight deadline, the pressure intensified. Despite my strategic plan and expertise, upper management, my supervisor and his supervisor, overrode my tactical role, leading to excessive micromanagement and unsound decisions that complicated the mission, though it ultimately succeeded. I'm concerned this dynamic will reoccur causing friction and reduce work quality. Should I voice my concerns or remain silent? Thank you for your time. Well, first of all, voice my concerns or remain silent.

See how those are pretty extreme? Because you definitely need to voice your concerns, but you need to do it an attackful way. And I would recommend a good opportunity for this is a debrief of the situation. Let's sit down and have a quick debrief. And during that debrief, so that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to jocco underground.com and subscribe.

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