Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: How To Get Your Significant Other On The Path

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

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This is the Jocko Underground Podcast number 120 sitting here with Echo Charles. We had a fire at Victory MMA and Fitness. At first, so I saw it on the news, it's giving people an update of what's going on. Saw it on the news. It actually, in the news, didn't look that bad. Years ago, we had a drunk driver hit a fire extinguisher right in front of it. a victory MMA. Fire hydrant.

Fire hydrant. What I say? Exhibit. Yeah. Fire hydrant. And then took off. But the fire hydrant, the water was now pumping out of the, like a, like a geyser. Yeah.

And it would just pour, it just shot up like a perfect stream and landed on the roof of victory. Mm-hmm. And after it clogged up the drains, it was so much water. Clogged up the drains because there's like debris up there, you know, palm leaves and whatever else was sitting up there. clogged up the drain, some of the drain, so it couldn't drain quick enough. So the water filled up as a flat roof with a parapet around it. Filled up the roof and boom, all that weight collapsed the roof.

With the air conditioners from the roof of the building were on the bottom floor. So it was a major, major issue. We were open in four days when that happened. That was 2008. So I saw this fire on the news. know people and people sent me clips like oh victory's on fire talk to joe and you know hey man what's going on and he's like yeah fire like we're we're we're literally 200 yards from san diego fire department station 20 like they're right there they got there real quick so i'm i'm seeing on

news this the day we recorded we're up in la and i thought to myself yeah we're you know this is going to be we'll be open in what a week maybe two weeks so we start getting a little bit more information I get down there the following day after the fire and it was bad um got a debrief from the firefighters actually I actually met the guys that went into the building so it's actually a really bad fire so it started somehow in the sauna area and then it was burning so we open at six o'clock in the morning. This took place at 620. Apparently what happened was somebody ran down to the front desk girl and said, hey, there's like a fire up in the sauna. Front desk girl went up there, who, bad fire, runs back down, calls the fire department. They're there in 30 seconds. By the time

they get there, firefighters, two firefighters went into the building with their hoses to go fight the fire. Open the door to the locker room. It was too hot. And it was cool. They were, they actually walked me through the fire. Like what happened? They get in there, it's too hot to get too hot to get to the source of the fire. So they have comms that's covered move with the guys on the rooftop. And the guys on the rooftop have to cut open the roof in the area. And one of the firefighters trains at victory. And he was actually telling him like, the sonas in the back,

like he was giving them intel. But then they, so they start cutting open the roof to let some of the heat out so that the firefighters that are in the building can get closer and that's what they did. They showed me on the wall. There's like fingerprints. like okay you know where the mirrors are they're all covered with soot but there's finger like dragging

across them it's because those guys couldn't see and they're dragging to like get through the building they're indicating that stuff to me so they get in there they're able to get some water on the fire the fire builds up it gets too hot again they have to cut more of the roof open let more heat out finally firefighters get in there and

are able to put out the fire but there was a moment where they were telling me they were thinking it might be what they call a lot Where you know the fire department's like hey this thing's going down and they just sit back and contain the fire to the one building and let it burn So luckily that didn't happen luckily we they were able to save the building through aggressive Firefighting bravery they got in there so thanks to the San Diego fire department for doing that and saving the building

That being said there's a lot of damage way more than it looked like in the videos, way more than even this massive flood. The fire does so much damage. So you have to cut open the roof and to cut open the roof. You're hitting rafters. All the rafters that may have gotten hit by,

by, really by any fire, that we got to replace those rafters. So we, you know, you've got to order rafters. There's a whole bunch. It's going to be another six months before we get open. That's what's happening there. That being said, we are also getting aggressive.

Joe, Manino, he's getting after it right now. We already have a new building. We sign the lease. It's 10,000 square feet. It's on Claremont Mesa Boulevard. We will be opening that. We're moving mats in, like, in the next couple days so guys can get in there. Look, guys got a train.

Let's face it. Let's face. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So we... are making that happen we have really good insurance we have a little bit of contingency money as well so we're going to get this other place opened and then we will rebuild the o g victory m m m and fitness it'll be back it's going to take a few months but it will be back so that's what's happening

it's a part of life it's part of business it's part of the world uh definitely i think i've i've been a j to fires before you know seeing them watch them but I've never had to actually deal with it in one of my structures fires are gnarly and they do a ton of damage way worse than I thought yeah yeah it's weird because even like these details when you go and it's helpful too by the way the information from the from the firefighters themselves because you think oh it's a fire it's over there I know how to avoid a fire like it's just I'll just walk over here or even you'd think Okay, there's a fire in this room, you know, I'll just leave the room But just the idea of opening the door and it's too hot to just go in there the fire is not even there

And probably given how I'm imagining this where if you look in the locker room and the sauna's like way around the corner So you probably can't even see the fire you go in there and it's just too hot to even go in there Not to mention like you know how let's say you're in a house and There's a fire in the next room. Yeah, we'll say you can't go in that room because when you touch the doorknob the door knob the door knob is like red hot like It's so hot that you can't even touch it, not even for a second, you know? It's like that. All those little details you don't realize, you know, when you just think, oh, there's a fire over there. I'll just go over here.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, our podcast studio is also in the locker room of the gym. And so it, that's one of the, one of the roof sections that got cut open is right in the podcast studio. So we are not currently in the podcast studio. We are in my house. We're in our little library office. and that's where we're recording because we won't be back in that studio

for probably six months. Which is a bummer because that's a nice little studio. It's quiet. Soundproof. Yeah. Speaking of Joe, Joe soundproof that bad boy. It's a room within a room.

That's what you got to do. If you really want quiet, you got to put a room within a room. Yeah. So that's where we're at. So where's the new one, Claremont May Silver Boulevard. I know exactly where that is.

Actually kind of more by my house. a little bit. Is that going to be, because the original victory, six months, are we moved back, or are we going to have two locations? We'll see. I mean, you know, you never know.

Depending, that's a little close. They're like, it's 10 minutes away. So do you have, are there enough people that want to train that, where we be cannibalizing? You know what I mean? You don't want to cannibalize.

You want to have everyone together. But 10 minutes can be a long way. Well, yeah. Convenience-wise. Yeah, fully. So we usually think about like a half an hour of being like, hey, if we're going to open another place, we want it to be at least a half an hour away. Yeah.

You know, kind of normal traffic. Like normal traffic half an hour, then you're good because that means in actual traffic, it's probably 45 minutes. So we'll see. We'll see. We tried to put it like in a spot where it was close as we can to our current gym and we're able to find this one pretty quick. So we'll see. But it's 10,000 square feet.

So it's going to be we're not going to have CrossFit. We're not going to have that. We're not going to have gym. It's going to be all MMA striking and jiu-jitsu. We're actually going to keep the same mixed martial arts various schedules. So striking the jiu-jitsu, we're going to keep the same schedules, but we're not going to have the lifting in the CrossFit for a few months. So that's a bummer, but we will rebuild. So there you go.

Update. Let's get some Q&A. What do we got? First question. Greetings, Jocco and Echo. Starting off, thank you for this platform. Your podcast is an amazing outlet for wisdom, and I have found this has helped me mature greatly over the past year or so. My question pertains to how should I handle a situation of having a girlfriend with a much lower motivation and sedentary lifestyle than me.

My girlfriend is an amazing person and I love her very much, but we have very different lifestyles. She tends to spend a lot more time in bed or on the couch enjoying the easy pleasures of life while I train Jiu-Jitsu and fitness very seriously. I also eat a much more strict diet than her and all I want to do is help her find a lifestyle that will make her healthier and happier. I'm training to go into special operations in the Marines, and I feel like being around her now is making it harder to achieve those goals and easier for me to slack and fall off the path. I've tried explaining to her the countless benefits that come with my lifestyle

and how much better she would feel if she also participated in some of those activities. I don't force her into doing anything, but also my suggestions sometimes are received like I'm being a jerk or just hardcore. How would you suggest I go about trying to get her into a healthier lifestyle and motivate her to follow my path without forcing it? I've tried just leading by example and showing her how much better my days are when I am on the path compared to hers spent in bed without being forceful or arrogant, but it still doesn't seem to work. I really don't want to have to leave her, but I do not want to sacrifice my goals for a life with her consisting of mediocrity. Thank you for your advice. Well, first of all, you know, if you want to have influence over somebody, you've got to build that relationship.

That means trustless and respect, influence care. You got to be able to give those things in order to get them, right? So if you want to have influence over her, you have to be able to allow her to influence you. So you got to be like, oh, hey, today we're just going to sit on the couch. We're going to watch freaking Netflix. Okay, cool. I'll do that. But, you know, like, before we eat dinner tonight, let's go for her.

You know what I mean? you got to go both ways. So you got to listen to what she has to say. What does she like about these things? Build that relationship. And you should be go. Another kind of semi-positive thing here. So you can build a relationship

and hopefully she can get a little bit more engaged in the lifestyle that you live. Also, you should be looking for someone who compliments you, not someone that matches you 100%. friends and girlfriends are not the same and they probably shouldn't be. Like, you want to have friends that like to do what you do. Your girlfriend doesn't necessarily,

I don't want a girlfriend or my wife to be like me 100% or even like 70%. You know what I mean? Like, I want her to be different, you know, complimentary. Yeah. Does that mean that,

you know, have overlaps of training and working out. Yeah, definitely. But she's not, you know, my wife's not in doing like heavy deadlifts. Not, then heavy deadlift is a bad example. If she wasn't doing heavy deadlifts, cool, but I'm saying she's not. Uh, she spends more time doing like yoga and more time doing, uh, more like, what is it? Hit workouts and more time doing low weight, high rep type lifting. I sometimes like to lift a little heavier than that. You know, she liked jiu-jitsu, but then she was pregnant for a long time, and so she kind of stopped doing jihitsu. But I wasn't like, oh, now we don't get along. You know what I mean? So anyways, you know,

my, you want to find someone that compliments you. This doesn't mean you're looking for the opposite of you, but you don't need to have someone that matches you completely. So that's a positive thing. Like in this situation, okay, so she likes to relax a little bit. Well, guess what? You know, you're out working hard and maybe she's chilling a little bit and she can get dinner ready, you know, what have you? She can prep the evening plans when you're working, lifting, training, whatever. So it could be okay. That being said, and there's a chance that you're just not aligned.

Because there's a difference between we're different, but we have the same. goals. If you're different, but you have different goals, that can be problematic. Like, if she's not into health, and she's constantly eating trash and not working out at all,

and now her physical health is going to go downhill, that's not going to be, it's not going to be good, you know? She doesn't, like, here's the difference between, oh,

my wife doesn't train Jiu-Jitsu, but she gets, sit and I go train and she's like oh how is training as opposed to my wife doesn't like jiu jitsu yeah to go you really gonna train again today or whatever the thing is right you're really going to make you're going to prioritize you know lifting over over our dinner tonight it's like well i haven't i haven't had time to lift and i've got a lift so if she's not even down for the cause that could be a real problem here's another thing brown i'm just throwing this out there if she if she was the one capital t capital oh the one you probably wouldn't even be asking this

question right now you know what I'm saying hey am I wrong I cannot I don't know do you think I'm wrong no do you think I'm wrong no like if this chick was the one would he be sending the spending the time to write four paragraph question which did include the the whole I really don't want to have to leave her. See what I'm saying like have to? And that's actually even different than saying I don't want to leave her. Like that's obviously like I'm going to leave her. Obviously that's off the table.

It's not that. That's different. This is I don't want to have to meaning, hey, I might have to leave her, you know, kind of a thing. That's different.

I think you are correct actually. So you're asking this question, which is kind of weird. You know? It's kind of, it's an indicator. Look, is it the indicator?

No. It's an indicator. It's a flag. It's a red flag. It doesn't mean we're not playing the game, but there's a flag in the game. That is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to jaco underground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms.

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