Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: How to Surround Yourself With The Best People - Best Questions Answered

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Deal with slumps from break-up or otherwise.Handle co-worker who lashes out but performs well.When you are a positive influence but others are a strong negative influence.Problems everywhere you go.Can you achieve dreams if you're a quitter?Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

On this episode of Jocko Underground, I'll give you the proper steps to deal with slumps, whether they stem from a breakup or any other massive setback. We'll also explore how to handle a coworker who lashes out but generally performs well. We'll assess what to do if you're a positive influence on someone, but they're also influenced by someone in a negative way. Also, sometimes no matter where we go, people seem to cause problems. I will give you a possible solution for this. And I will also answer the crucial question, can you achieve your dreams if you are a quitter? Jocko, I've got a pretty

difficult question asked. My fiance recently decided to leave me. We were together for five years. I currently feel nothing but pain and regret. We didn't end on bad terms. She just told me she need some time to find herself and better herself. I understand things happen and people change. I just wanted to know what should I do to cope or get over this. I restrained from turning to booze like I would have in the past, but every day that temptation is in the back of my mind. I just want this pain to stop. Avoiding all self-destructive behavior has been my focus and it's starting to get draining. I want to have the energy to get after it, but I can't seem to find it. Just want to all around advice for the situation.

Your podcast has been great outlet for me to help through this difficult time. Thanks. Okay, a couple things here. To start off with what you're feeling right now is normal, okay? This is not some weird thing that only you're feeling that you're alone and you, this is the worst thing that's ever happened and you feel worse than anybody else. No, you lost someone that you cared about. and when that happens, it's very normal for people to feel like it's the end of the world.

That's a very common thing that happens to everybody, but it's not the end of the world. Everyone has been through this. All right. Most people have been through this more than once. This is what is going on, right? This is life. It happens to everybody.

So you got these things going on. You got these things. emotions and and I've done I talked about on a podcast a while ago somebody made a cool video of it me talking about the waves of emotion that you go through and what's scary is in the beginning when it's close to the impact point these waves are out of control these waves of emotion you don't have any control over them just being a big ocean storm you can't control it's knocking your boat over you're getting flipped around you can't see anything and that's scary but over time

Those waves are going to settle down. They're going to become less frequent. This is going to happen. And look, you might be getting hit by these waves for months. You can be getting hit by these waves for months. And if you're not careful, it can be even longer than that. So this is where we get careful. This is what we're going to do.

First of all, remember that she's not who you thought she was. Right. she's not who you thought she was. For the very fact that you just thought you guys were going to be together forever and she was your fiancé and you were going to get married, well, you thought that that was the truth and it wasn't the truth. She didn't want to do that. You have a fantasy in your head right now about who you wanted her to be and who you thought she was, but that person doesn't actually exist. It doesn't exist. And that can be one of the hardest things to swallow because we want.

wanted so bad for it to exist and it just doesn't exist. So we got to walk away and not look back. Okay. This is it's over. It's over walk away not don't look back. That's what you're doing. You're walking away. Okay, cool. That's over. I'm going to walk away and not look back and we're hit with some waves of emotion sometime, but I'm not going to get I'm going to start to let those things dissipate because you know what the person that I wanted to marry actually wasn't the person that I thought she was. So walk away don't look back. That's hard. I get it. I've had conversations with people like why go walk away don't look like they're like I'm trying Right. It's freaking hard. There's a tractor beam. Is that the right word start track style? Sure. Yeah, I'll

There's a there's a vortex of hope That keeps pulling you back and maybe or it's a vortex of guilt of what did I do wrong? You didn't do anything wrong or you may have done something wrong, but guess what? The fact is she didn't want to be with you anymore. That's the reality of the situation. So what are we doing now? Tim Ferriss had a great comment. Get out of your head and get into your body, right? This is a very smart thing from a very smart human.

To get out of your head, man, you're in your head. Thinking about all the things you miss, all these. It's like, I think it was the last underground week. did I was talking about having an open mind or how you mentioned having a closed mind when too many things are coming in there messing things up you might be in that situation you got your head it's filled up it's all these bad thoughts are coming in there okay we're gonna stop that how are we gonna stop that we're gonna get into our body we're to get on a regular sleep schedule we're gonna wake up

at the same time every day when we wake up when the alarm clock goes off we're getting out of bed and look I know this sounds like this little meaningless thing but I'm telling you this is what we need to do this is how you get into your body. You're going to get up at the same time every day. When you get up, you're going to go and do some kind of exercise. You're going to do calisthenics. You're going to go for a run. You're going to go for a walk. You're going to do yoga. I don't really care what you do, but that's what you're going to do. That's what you're going to do. You're going to clean up the freaking diet because life is better when you are eating clean. It's a huge impact on the way you feel.

And look, there's a one way that you feel after you eat a donut. And I know it feels. feels good for 20 minutes and it's a lie. When you actually eat clean for three, four, five days, you start to feel a different way and it is a much better way. So clean up your diet. You're gonna start training Jiu-Jitsu and look, oh yeah, of course, the jiu-jitsu's the answer to everything. Oh yeah, right?

Oh Joe, what do you do? Oh my pet dog just died. What should I do? Train Jiu-Jitsu. Oh, my girlfriend broke up and change Jitsu. There's a reason that I'm saying this over and over again. Because this is good for you. It's good for your mind.

It's good for your body. It's going to give you confidence. It's going to give you exercise. It's going to give you a mental break because you can't think about anything else when you're doing jujitsu. It's going to introduce you to a whole new group of people that you don't know right now. So we're going to go and do that. You're going to find a place to train. You're going to schedule to go do things that are out of the domicile.

Right? Get out of your house. When you're sitting in your house, when you don't have any stimulation, you're going to be trapped in your own head and we're not doing that right now we're going to go grocery shopping we might go grocery shopping every day I might go grocery shopping at 6 o'clock at night every day get home from work at 4 you know take a little breather stretch get done with that and we're going to go grocery store every single day at 6 o'clock I'm to go buy and find something cool to eat I'm going to go back on a make dinner clean food I might go to yoga

at six o'clock. I might take the dog for a walk every day. I might go and help clean up the neighborhood park. We're going to get out of the mind and into the body. We're going to make a schedule. We're going to stick to it. And all these things that we're doing are all making you better as a human being. They're making you better as a human being. And as you get better as a human being, you are going to get better. And none of this stuff is easy, man. And once again, what you're feeling, you're brokenhearted. She broke your heart. There's a term, it's brokenhearted.

There's a reason that term exists. Because people go through it, and they go through it one, two, three, five, seven times in their lives. And it's going to make you a little bit better. You learned. You grew. You're going to heal. You're going to go back.

And you're going to find somebody else. And as I said to one young man who was brokenhearted I was talking to him on the phone a young man who's brokenhearted and I said oh you know So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast so if you want to continue to listen Go to jocco underground.com and subscribe and we're doing this we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control and we are doing this so that we can support the jocco podcast which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way but we but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors and we're doing it so we can give you more control more interaction more direct connections

better communications with us and to do that we are we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us so thank you it's jaco underground dot com it costs eight dollars and eighteen cents a month and if you can't afford to support us we can still support you just email assistance at jocco underground dot com and we'll get you taken care of until then We will see you mobilized underground.