Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: Insults Make You Mad Because They Are True.

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

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This is Jocco Underground Podcast, number 74, Echo Charles Sittendenberg and me, Jocco Willink. Just to get everyone a little bit of sanity. The insult that you hear that makes you mad, generally speaking, the reason it's making you mad is that there's some little piece of truth in it. And that's what bothers you. you are mad because it's true.

So what you should do when you feel that little anger flare up when somebody says something to you is don't let it make you mad. Instead, just agree with what they're saying. By the way, you don't even have any choice to agree with it because it's true. You know it's true. That's why it's bothering you. So accept it and agree with it. And say to yourself, yeah, that's a good point there. I wrote about this in Warrior Kid, Way the Warrior Kid.

Book 2. Nathan James, he calls Mark plate face. And, you know, like, look at Mark's face. Kind of like round and big. It's kind of true. Like, yeah, you look like a plate, dude. And he gets called plate face. And he gets all mad.

He wants to fight. Mark wants to fight Nathan James. And instead, Uncle Jake says, hey, man, just be like, yeah, I do have a pretty round, like, looking face, don't I? And that's what you do. Now here's a little component. Kind of ties into the last thing we talked about. So accept it. So what I'm talking about is when someone tells you that you're lazy,

instead of getting mad, say, you're right. I am being lazy and I'm going to do better. And then do better. Start waking up early. Start getting after it. Work harder. if you know someone tells you that you're gluttonous well then don't get mad about it be like you know what I was going kind of ham on the freaking you know chocolate pie or whatever and then stop eating the

extra desserts and and so that's a clear example of what happens here of when you get insulted but it really applies to like anything, anything that actually bothers you. If you follow the thread of what's bothering you to the truth, then you can actually deal with it. So when there's something that's bothering you, if you follow it and you pull the thread to figure out why it's actually bothering you,

then you can deal with the problem. So often in this day and age, we let our emotions replace thought. We don't, we just feel the emotion. and that's what we utilize to react with. And by the way, what do we react? We don't react by self-correcting.

We react by lashing out at other people. This is like politics today, right? This is like social media today. Something makes you mad. You don't know why you're mad, but it makes you mad. And so you go on the attack. And that is what's wrong. Instead of, I mean, not instead of, but when you get angry,

it's not a reason to lash out at other people. When you get angry, it's actually a signal not to lash out, but to look in. To look in to see where it is you are troubled as an individual human being that you are letting something else dictate the way you feel. Don't get mad. Get curious. Get curious to figure out why it is that you are so angry about this thing. And if you can figure out why you're asking. Actually getting mad because maybe this person said something political and I'm so mad that they said it but then I pull this frame my action I'm actually just jealous that they have this or

Frustrated that they did that about what I should have been like all those things all the little ego things are probably gonna you're probably gonna find at the end of the thread that you pull If you can figure that out if you can look in instead of lashing out That's when you can make corrections and you will be in a much better situation So that's interesting because I I never really thought of this until you just said it right now where the part about it kind of being true and maybe you're insecure about it or whatever like that made sense of course

but sometimes I'm like wait a second but sometimes people will like throw a jab or insult or whatever and I won't get mad if it's true or not I'll get mad the fact that they chose to try to insult me kind of a thing so and you can and I can can kind of separate it where like if it's if if you're my friend and you throw insults off all day that's how I grew up like with you know with the twin brothers or bro that our whole relationship was insults who could get the better insult the funnier insult if it's not funny it's just dumb um so i was used

to that part of things but then sometimes it's like um you know like let's say you just meet someone and they get too comfortable with you and then they throw insult it's like the insult wasn't insulting at all but you're mad that they they thought that they were in any position to like have that relationship with you kind of a thing. Wait, say that last part again. The fact that they chose, it's almost like, and here's the thing, my point is going to be, or is, that it still comes down to your ego where the insult wasn't insulting, but the fact that you chose to insult me is.

It's like a personal affront. It doesn't matter how you did it. It's the fact that you did it. You know, it's like that usually is things that, like, will bother me, you know? Like, Brett, you're not my super good friend. You don't have it like that kind of a thing, you know? or just someone who's just, you know, someone who confronts you, you know, who positions himself is your sort of enemy socially or whatever.

It's like that's the part that that's insulting. Is you what I'm saying? But either way. Ego. The ego. That's what it is. Yeah. Because I mean, if someone's like, first of all, I don't like, I don't know, a bunch of people

like running around trying to insult me. Are they doing that to you? I understand that completely. No, no, not currently, of course. But I'm trying to think of all the times that I'm like, wait a second. And like I did kind of get bothered by someone like insulting me. Oh, yeah. And that's the other thing is when you get bothered.

Yeah. You're going to get more insults because you give you gave them what they wanted. Yeah. It worked. It worked. It worked. Nothing better than smile and laugh it off. Like carry on.

Dude, don't get mad. Don't let your ego get to you. And look, there's nothing better than actual confidence. Right. You're like, oh yeah. You're right. I am kind of a knuckle dragger. You know how many times I've said that in my life?

Oh, yeah. I'm definitely meathead. Yeah, for sure. Yep, like, like, just cool. Someone's trying to insult me by calling me a knuckle. You freaking knuckle dragger. Yeah, definitely scraping them on the floor. Like what?

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And they're right. I am a knuckle dragger. So it's like, cool. Like, what else? Right on.

Let's rock and roll. But, yeah, just the fact of instead of lashing out, looking in is going to help you. Yeah. Help a lot of things. So there you go. It's my advice for this week. Giving advice, advice column. Like, you know, like, that's what we're doing apparently today.

Yep. Well, yeah. So trying to figure things out a little bit. It's true. It's mystery. First question. Let's start to email off. I'd like to tell you who I am.

So you understand where I'm coming from. I am Jonathan 14 years old. And I'm the youngest child of eight. My family is 100% conservative and Catholic. My whole life I've wanted to. So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to jocco underground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this.

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