Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: Is Comparison Really The Thief Of Joy? |

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

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This is the Jocko Underground Podcast number 101. Two sitting with Echo Charles. Echo Charles. Yes. I have two quotes for you. Equivalent quotes, I guess, same thing. One of them is comparison is the thief of joy. That's Teddy Roosevelt.

The other one, comparison is the death of joy. Mark Twain. Mark Twain's 20 years older, so giving him the credit. But do I agree with that? There's dichotomy. I hate to say it. Sure. Because, listen.

Competition is a good thing Yeah, right? Competition's a good thing You and I competitive, right? We train jiu-jitsu, right? If you catch me, I want to catch you, right? In jiu-jitsu. If you are able to beat me

Or if I'm able to beat you, you want to beat me, right? It's competitive. We just don't go there and like hug it out. You know what I mean? No, we don't. We're trying to fight. That's competition. Makes me work harder.

Make sure you work harder. Maybe. But, you know, when you're, let me ask you this, when you're doing a Metcon, do you ever think during the Metcon that you're going to be training with me? Yes. Check. See? You see what I'm saying?

Yes, I do. You push yourself a little bit more. I do the same thing. Not so much about you, but about some other people. Thank you for that honesty on that one. Bro, I've seen in some comments. People take that stuff real seriously. When I write.

No, some people. Some people know I'm kidding. Yep. But some people think I'm like, you know, you know, Chaco talks about being humble. He just rags on echo and gut. I'm like, dude, you need to watch that video because we're laughing. There's a psychological game within the game.

What's that? It's an expression. Like there's more to it than just you're just razzing me and I'm just, oh, getting razzed, you know? There's a lot more. There's more going on there. There's all big time. Okay.

All right. See? See, that's a tactic too. By the way. So, we're pushing harder. because we compare with each other. But that being said, I do understand where this comment comes from for sure.

Probably because even though the competitive thing, and you know, in the SEAL teams, everything's competitive. Like it doesn't matter if you're, like, doing a beach run, you're competing. You're shooting. You're competing. Everything that you're doing, you're competing. And it's good. It's healthy, 90% of the time.

But in life, I think it's actually not healthy. I would say like maybe 50% of the time Maybe it's just an even split Sometimes this comparison This competition can bring out the worst in us It can make people cheat It can prevent us from being happy Your buddy gets a nice new car

How does that make you feel? Let's face it There's some people that when their buddy gets a nice new car They're kind of jealous and pissed That was one of my favorite stories about stoner I bought a house in a cool location that was by our surf spots yeah and when he I texted him to meet me there like I didn't say anything about it because I didn't want to jinx it you know what I mean yeah is that superstitious yes yeah so I was

being superstitious but I didn't want to jinx it and tell him bro I got us a spot like I got a spot like we're gonna be set for surfing and so finally I got the keys that's what you know and I texted him I said Hey, come see the new house. And he's like, send the address. So I sent the address. And he was like, oh, shit. And so I got there and I'm waiting for it.

And he comes up the stairs. And he walks and he goes, dude, we are set. He wasn't even his house, bro. But he knew we were set. You know what I'm saying? He knew he was never going to have to, like, not have a surfboard on location and wetsuit and shower and just be good to hook. But I had some other friends came over.

And what they pointed out was the negatives of this house. Like, oh, you've heard about that. And like, what's you going to? Hating. And oh, yeah, yeah. And it's just a bummer. You know what I mean? So if you ever feel that way, it's a little red flag you're going to watch out for.

And it can build up that resentment. And that resentment is just terrible for you. And it's this, it's this Cain and Abel story, right? It's the Cain and Abel story. Both Cain and Abel made sacrifices to God. And for whatever reason, unclear, God didn't appreciate Cain's gift as much as he appreciated Abel's sacrifice or gift, right? Just for whatever reason, not even, it's not in the Bible, it's not clear why. But Cain was furious about this, and he killed his own brother.

He killed his own brother. Because his brother got praise. That's why he killed him. So this happens with people. You know, I worked harder than that comparison worked or, you know, I made the sacrifices. You know, why does he get the recognition? Why does he get the money? Why does he get the money?

This stuff happens. And it's very disturbing. So sometimes in some cases, comparison and competition can drive resentment and negativity. And those are absolutely, yes, terrible things. So don't be that person. you should be happy when other people win. Should be happy for them. Should be stoked.

And in fact, hopefully you reach a point where when other people win, you get joy out of it. Makes you feel better than if you won yourself. You'll get to feel that with your kids. Yeah. You know, when your kids are doing well,

you'll be more happy than if you did well. Like you see your kid, something as simple as you see your kid catch a good wave. And you're more happy, more stoked when they catch a good wave than when you catch a good wave or they catch it good they catch like a heel hook on a fool you know what I mean and it's like yo got that heel hook so you that's how you should feel when other people when your friends the people around you they win what it should feel like is your comparison should be like stoke I'm glad they got that

instead of hatred and resentment and jealousy so be careful of comparison that's my overall assessment here I'm not going to go that it's the death of joy or it's the thief of joy it can bring joy it can also bring resentment

and frustration and hatred so just be careful with these things and be careful and if that's what it does to you if you can't sleep at night because you're pissed off that echo got a freaking new car and you think you deserve if that's where you're at man check yourself you're just insecure your ego is insecure you got issues yeah yeah a lot or it was kind of told to me that

that like indicates the lack of gratitude right so the because like if you get a new car at the very minimum it shouldn't make me feel anything at the minimum if i like you then yeah i should be happy for you ideally right but if i have no gratitude you getting the new car isn't you getting the new car. It's me not getting a new car. See what I'm saying? So it's like it's, I'm looking at it backwards in a way.

Wait, if you have gratitude. Yeah. I'm like, okay, I'm thankful for what I have. What you have has no bearing on me except for you're my friend.

So you're happy. I'm happy. You're happy because I like you and you're my friend. That's kind of the baseline. But to someone who lacks gratitude, meaning like, I am not thankful for what I have or whatever,

just the baseline or whatever. It's not, it doesn't land on you like, they got a car and it's some other person getting a car it's you almost like you got your car taken away almost kind of kind of a thing but it's you not getting a car

that's how that's how jacked up human beings can be yeah think about how jacked up that is yeah you're so jacked up that one of your friends gets a new car and you get pissed about it and you're mad even if your enemy gets a new car you should be like dude good job

it can get so bad you can literally get a new car for free And your neighbor buys a new car nicer than yours by your own opinion, not his, your own opinion and you're mad. That's how deep it can go. And, you know, they have an expression for it, right, keeping up with the Joneses. Yeah, I was going to say Kardashians, but, you know, that's another thing. Actually, it's the same thing. Same thing.

That's where the name came from. Keeping up with the Joneses, right? It's like, oh, yeah, I have my new house. I'm so happy. I got my car. I got my kids. And then my neighbor gets like a bigger house and a bigger car. Oh, my car sucks all of a sudden, you know?

It's like a weird psychological phenomenon. on. Yeah. Right. It can be the thief of joy straight up. You know what else is funny is when some people, when it doesn't bother you, when Echo rolls in and this new Cadillac.

And I was like, oh, cool, nice car, but they're not mad. You're mad because I'm not jealous. That's like next level. That's next level. Next level.

The double. When I didn't even ask you how much it costs. Oh, brutal. And you're like, you're like, dude, I paid cash for this thing.

And I'm like, oh, that's cool. You're trying to get me to say. So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to jocco underground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this. We're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms.

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