Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: Physical Punnishment.

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Abandoned US Military Equipment being used against Israel?Not getting internal support to move up the chain.When your boss(es) are out of touch.Lead a team to victory with very few A-Players.Physical training as punishment, and other punishment techniques.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

This is the Jocco Underground podcast number 132 sitting here with Echo Charles getting into some Q and a day. What did you call it? Lessons for the people, advice for the people. Yeah, advice. Learning moments. I call it Q&A. Q&A, sure. But I feel like advice for the people's provides the depth that I think it deserves.

Because Q&A is just let me just ask this arbitrary kind of question and let me get an answer kind of thing. but I take this as kind of advice for me too most of the time. You and me both. You're saying? All right. All right. Let's get into it. First question.

Hi, Jocko. I'm listening to Jocko Underground episode 38 and just finished the part where Jocko told the story about his son lying. Aside from getting a good laugh out of it, it also got me thinking more about properly disciplining children. My wife and I have our first child on the way, a girl. And I'm certainly, and I've certainly been thinking more. more. I really love the idea of forced PT as a form of punishment for children, administered for the proper transgressions like lying, of course. My question to Jocco, had your son just refused to do the PT, what step would you have taken from there? My question to Jocco and ECHO, what are your thoughts, observations on using forced PT as punishment?

Would you employ it for your daughters? Does it really just depend on the kid? Other thoughts of disciplining children? I listen to the podcast a lot and certainly plan on leading my children using all the other tactics and strategies Jocko teaches without immediately resorting to punishment but I need to be prepared in the event that disciplinary actions are just simply required.

Yeah and hopefully that's very rare and it was very rare for me with all my kids. Disciplinary actions was very rare. How is it with you? Yeah, very rare. Almost. And you know, like that,

particular situation my son was a little bit older he was definitely understanding you know and he kind of understood the whole because one thing that's really negative about that is you don't want to make physical exercise punishment

that's not the way it's supposed to be it's almost supposed to be a it should be a reward but let's face it sucks you make someone do enough freaking burpees yeah it sucks doesn't matter how freaking happy you are and how much you love PT look just I would say

50% of the guys going through shield training love PT. And at one point, and all of them hate it. There's some nights where like every single dude does not want to do anymore whatever they're doing to them. So you can make anything suck if you do it long enough. But that's not, for me it wasn't the usual punishment. Like that was kind of a one-off case. I was like, oh, you want to lie to your mom. And me, by the way.

I give you a chance, I give you an out. And actually he accepted the out. He's like, yes, it was not true. I was like, cool. Then you just need to pay now. But I would say it's not the best thing. Like, I didn't normally do that. It wasn't normal punishment for me.

I usually use that for discipline. Here's one thing that they talk about in the military, which is a really good thing to think about. You don't think about until you're in the military, but you have privileges. Now, think about the privileges that your kids have right now. Yes. You see what I'm saying?

You're already shaking your head, like nodding, like, yes. Your kids have nice clothes. They get dessert. They get cold water, warm showers, toothpaste. Like, they don't have to pay for their food. And I know, how old's your boy? Seven. It'd be weird to tell your boy he had to pay for his food, right?

But it's not totally. Like you could formulate a payment plan. Yeah. Where it's like, oh, if you want this food, cool. Here's what you need to do to get the food. Yeah. Chores. You know, all this stuff. All these, all these, oh, you want.

So there's certain privilege. So in like in Navy boot camp or an officer candidate school, like there's things that are privileges. Like being able to drink a soda is like a privilege. being able to I don't know but there's like privileges like go in your room and shut the door

before 10 o'clock that's a privilege so they have all these things they make them privileges and then there's like work detail I can tell you I did use a decent amount with my kids

if there was a punitive scenario was going on yard work which is one of the things where it's like oh well we got to do yard work anyways but when you're doing yard work like when the whole family's doing yard work and it takes an hour to get something done cool when you when one person is doing yard work and it's going to take them five hours that's it sucks so when I ever said to my kids get your work clothes on like to one of them they knew it was not cool so what

privilege is you know I remember I was having a funny conversation with my oldest daughter who had gotten in some trouble And but we were like now we were just like talking through what happened and she's like and I was talking to her because I had taken her phone away And because that's another thing like your kids have screen time. They have phone. They have TV. They got all kinds of privileges. So I was talking to my daughter and I was like well, you know, you know, you can have your phone back But you know that kind of stuff. You just can't do that as otherwise like it'll be a lot more than your phone will get taken away. She's like, well, you know, you can't take away. What else could you take from me? I was like, well, because I was like, well, I said, you have a bed?

You have a mattress? And I forget what the final straw was the, like the final things I said was, oh, I said, you have a door on your bedroom. I said, you have hair. By this point, she was laughing, right? And the thing is there is she was laughing, and why was she laughing? Well, it's because what's more important than any of this punishment stuff that we're talking about that you have a good relationship with your kids.

And the better relationship that you have with your kids, the less you have to worry about this kind of stuff. Trust, listen, respect, influence, and care. You need to give those things. You need to listen to your kids. When your kid's like, I don't want to do this, you need to go, okay. When your kid says, I want to go do this, you need to go, okay. You need to trust them.

If you give them, they'll give you trust. If you listen to them, they'll listen to you. If you treat them with respect, they'll treat you with respect. If you allow them to influence you, you'll have influence with them. And all these little stupid things that you care about, they don't matter, man. They don't matter. So, especially when they're, you know, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 years old. Jamie Cochran was telling a story the other day about she was in the orthodontist with her kid and there was a mom there.

and the other kid wanted to get like yellow and red braces. I guess you can get different colored braces. And the mom was like, no, you're getting blue. And they were like in a fight about it. And like that's just terrible. Imagine all the leadership capital that's blown. When your kid wants to have yellow and red, hey, that's cool. Oh, oh, you're going to stand out.

Who cares? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Oh, your kid wants to get a, wants to wear this, you know, T-shirt. you don't like it or doesn't want to wear a t-shirt or doesn't want to you know all these stupid things

that we get all wrapped up around with our kids when you can actually especially when they're 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 you can allow them to influence you because we want to impose our stuff on it you know? Like naturally, of course,

like just wear that t-shirt looks stupid with a Mickey Mouse on it. You know what I mean? Like we get mad about this kind of stuff. It's so dumb. Whereas If you're like, oh, that's a cool shirt.

Or like if you say, I don't really like that shirt, like you're, aren't you a little old for Mickey Mouse? I'm just running to make stuff up, but aren't you a little old for Mickey Mouse? They're like, well, no, would I really like it? Oh, if you want to wear it, that's cool. That's cool. Allow them to influence you. And that's how you're going to move forward.

One other good, well, not good. I had another disciplinary example, which was my son did something wrong. He was pretty young and I took his I took one of his toys and I brought it on the patio and I said hey listen you know because you behave that way I have to Exact a and meet out some punishment here which is going to be this toy and I had a truck and I had a sledgehammer And I and I smashed this little yellow truck It wouldn't even his favorite truck was like a random thing doesn't actually I had a I know, I know, I know it's traumatic. So I smash this thing.

But this is what this guy's asking. Are, can you get in a situation with your kids where they need to be disciplined legitimately? Yes, I hope it doesn't happen. It happened very rarely with my kids. Honestly, I don't think my middle daughter. I don't think I ever punished her. Yeah. It's good.

My oldest daughter, look, you're always too hard on your oldest kid. And I was too hard on my oldest kid. My youngest daughter, I don't think she's got to be. But, but guess what? Freaking good kids. You know Hannah? I mean, what would you want her to do different with her life?

No, man. All good. Yeah. You're like, dude, she's good to go. Dude. With no punishments in her life. Yeah.

Look, well, there's some little whatever, but I'm saying no, like, outstanding, hey, here's a punishment.

I had to exact on her for, for disobeying or whatever. No, none. Yeah. And even, like, my son,

barely. Like, this is the time. I'm telling you the one I can remember It's like So I took this truck, smashed it Do you remember what he did? Are you at liberty to say? He was young, so it was something stupid

What he probably did was back talk his mom Okay Yeah, probably back talked his mom Or something like maybe some little lie Because lying is, you know, that's bad Because that's a trust issue But what would have been better is be like, hey, why didn't you tell me Do you always be, you know,

It would have been better to talk through it But it might have been something that was a little bit more extreme. Anyways, here's the point of this story. Never had to smash another one. I put one into the staging area. I put one into the staging area and said, hey, listen, if this happens again, this one's next.

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