Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: What to do When You're At a Low Point In Life with No Options and Surrounded by Toxicity.

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

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This is the Jocko Underground podcast number 199, sitting here with Echo Charles, and we just got done with some jiu-jitsu training. We're back. We're back to Victory MMA. The original Victory MMA is now open and new and glorious. So the mats were utilized in a big way. So now we are back to the mental aspect of the game.

You as troopers have sent us questions. we have some answers, some recommendations, some courses of actions at a minimum that you can take to get yourself and keep yourself on the path of justice. So let's get to it. Question number one. Yeah, very, very useful to not ignore keeping yourself on the path. Because once you say, all this doesn't apply to me, I don't need that, whatever. I don't know. So yeah, good tip there.

All right. First question. I'm writing because I need advice and don't have anyone else. turn to. Your podcast played a major role in changing my life after my daughter was born in 2023 and getting me on the path, including starting jiu-jitsu. I have a two-year-old daughter. Her mother and I have had a volatile relationship from the beginning. Early on, I was wrong and became physical during arguments. Later, she had people come to our home and assault me, resulting in hospitalization and a year-long protection order that caused me to miss my daughter's

early life. We've tried to make it work for two years. But now, I believe the relationship is destructive and must end. I'm 26, living with toxic parents, buried in debt, facing possible court again without a car and afraid of losing time with my daughter. I feel trapped and overwhelmed. What guidance would you give me to move forward and take responsibility without collapsing? Well, it's not, you just made like a noise of like, um, um, um, you know, oh no. Right? It's a lot. What are we going to do?

It's a lot, right? But in my mind, I think of the, the quote of like, hey, we're surrounded. Good. Now we know where the enemy is, right? So that's where you are, right? You're just surrounded on all sides. So what you have to do is you have to begin to square your situation away, right? This means you have to fix your immediate world that you are in.

Now, to start off here, With your daughter's mom, I would be professional. Don't be emotional. Be polite. But you have to make a little bit of distance because you guys have got bad, bad blood, right? There's bad, there's bad emotions there. It's not good.

We, you have to say, hey, listen, I don't want to bother you anymore. I wish you the best. You may not even want to verbalize those things. You just start to act this way. Because if you say, hey, I don't want to bother you. What do you mean? You don't bother me? You want to see what you just be like, just start to be more professional,

non-emotional and create a little bit of distance, then what you have to do is you have to get a job, you have to work hard. You have to get a job. I don't care if you get a job at Wendy's. I worked at Wendy's, right? And if you work at Wendy's and you work hard, you will move up the chain of command.

If you go to Home Depot and you get a job, you work hard, you'll move up the chain of command. You start making more money. Like this will happen. Don't buy anything stupid. Save your money. In order to save money, I hate to say this,

you're probably going to have to continue to live with what you call your toxic parents, I would just, you know, again, don't be overt about it, but just isolate yourself as much as you can with them from them, right? So you don't want to get caught up in their toxicity, but you want to live there. Cool, go to your room, try and spend time out, you know, don't spend a bunch of time there. Spend job working overtime. Spend your time working overtime, right? You got 40 hours a week. What, you can work, you can work 80 hours a week. You can easily work 80 hours a week. Get overtime, get two jobs, whatever you got to do. Don't spend time in the house. Go to there to sleep. Isolate from them a little bit.

And in a little bit of time, you're going to have enough money to get a dirt cheap place to live. That's fine. Let's rent a room from somebody for a few hundred bucks or something like that. During this time, you're going to talk to your daughter, you know, like when you can. I don't know what kind of legal situation you're in with her, whether you're allowed to visit her, but you're going to follow the rules. You're going to stay positive, no negativity. You're not going to say anything negative about her mother.

Not going to say anything negative about life. You can be concentrated on her. You know what? Does she care that you don't have money, that you don't have problems, or that you have problems, that you have this, you don't have a, does she care about any of that? Not as much as she cares about the fact that, you know, she's got crayons and this, you know, she's coloring a flower and you can help her color flowers, man. That's what you focus on with her.

You do kids stuff with her. Let her world be bright and beautiful. You shelter her from the misery and the darkness of the world. That's what you do. That's what dads do. continue your job at Wendy's or Home Depot or wherever you're working find some kind of a trade that you're interested in electrician plumber welder carpenter you find one of those things which one you're interested in they're all cool jobs it's all very gratifying to wire a place

to put plumbing in a place to weld something together to build a house or whatever and then once you figure out which one you're slightly interested in you find one of those companies that does that and you go and get job there. So you're going to take a minimum wage pay. Whatever you're getting paid at Wendy's, you're getting paid at Home Depot. You're going to say, listen, I will do, I will be labor for you.

I'll do whatever you need me to do for minimum wage. And then you're going to bust your ass. And you're going to keep saving money and you're going to, you know, you're trying to pay off debts. I don't know if you're going to have enough money yet to pay off debts. Learn whatever skill it is, electrician, you're going to start to learn that.

You're going to watch YouTube. You're going to read books about this stuff. You can go to the library, read books about being, electrician again you're maintaining a positive relationship with your daughter because that's what we bring to our daughters positivity and good and light and and and and kids stuff and flowers and rainbows that's what we bring to our kids our daughters pure positivity eventually you figure out where you what qualifications you need to be

an electrician what do you got to do what's what do you need to do to get that piece of paper that says you're an electrician you're going to go to that school because you saved your money that's what you're saving your money for you're continuing to work hard You're not wasting any money. You're continuing to pay your debts. And you look up and in three years, and it's going to be a long, hard three years, but in three years, you're going to be in a relatively good situation. You're going to have a steady job.

You're going to have an employer that appreciates you, that you show up early, that you stay late, that you work hard, that you're clean, that you do what you're supposed to do. You do it on time. You take the extra initiative. You're going to have some money from that. You're going to have a marketable skill because you went and got that, whatever that certification is you're going to find a place to live you'll have bought a a 2,800 dollar vehicle that's fairly reliable and you're now your daughter's five she's not two

anymore and by the way when she's between two three four five she's not going to remember a lot of that stuff so that's why I want to work too worried about it you look you're a loving dad you do you bring you bring the light when you can but by the time three years from now she's going to be five and that's when she'll actually know and she'll remember and appreciate your interactions with her and then you're slowly with the permission of her mom you're going to get a little bit more integrated with her and you're going to continue again you're going to be always be professional you're in a business relationship with you with her mom that's what you are professional business relationship with her no motions no crazy no so that is a little excerpt of what we are doing

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