Jocko Podcast - Jocko Underground: You Either Talk About it.. Or You BE About it.

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

.Talking about it.. VS. Being About it.How to teach kids appreciation in life. Can't figure out why my colleague doesn't seem to like me.Should you take it easy in Jiu Jitsu training if you're physically superior?Building trust in the Police force, along with accountability. Rectifying a wrong professional decision. Getting onto a better path.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content

This is the Jocko Underground podcast number 100 sitting across from Echo Charles Talking about it versus being about it Look, this is kind of a clear what we prefer right? It's kind of it. It should be known everyone should know that it's being about it. We're not just talking about it That's what we're doing there now that being said There is this idea about putting your goals out there like publicly you're you've heard this idea before right you know you you tell all your friends i'm going to run a marathon right this day or i'm starting to train where i'm going to write a book or whatever thing you're going to do you you tell everyone you post about it right

yeah and then that you know now you start to feel the social pressure that you told everyone I think the problem with that is what are the consequences? To me, the answer is there's no consequences. There's no friend that comes up to you 13 months later and it's like, hey, I thought you were running that marathon. And then what you have is you're like, yeah, you know, I was going to, but I, you know, I ended up getting shin splints after two weeks. And then I started that new job.

And it's just, I'm going to do it next year, right? No problem. Oh, I thought you were writing a book. Yeah, you know, I am. but I started going down, but then I got a better idea. So I'm kind of letting that thing ferment a little bit, but I'm got a new one. So you're just lying to yourself.

You're lying to your friends. And basically there's no consequences for it. Because you're able to lie your way out of it. My daughter was teaching jujitsu class the other day. Sure. And this little boy, like after class, said, my father died. And just kind of randomly.

my father died and he was kind of misbehaving in class or whatever so she thought you know she's thinking to herself oh that's so sorry to hear that and then she's thinking oh you know maybe some of his behavioral issues maybe he's you know going through some stuff he's a little emotional whatever and then she sees the boy walking with like a grown male and she asked coach adam she says you know Hey, is that, is that his uncle or he's like, no, that's his father. And my daughter didn't understand why this was happening. Well, it turns out that the little boy, you know, we're talking like six years old. Yeah.

Told my daughter that her dad, that his dad died so that he wouldn't get in trouble. The kid wouldn't get in trouble. He knew he was misbehaving. So he didn't want the, like there's, you know. So what I'm saying. is people lie. That's instinctively, right? You're a six-year-old kid and you'd rather tell an instructor that you've known for one week that your father is dead than the chance getting in trouble. Think about how that's what people are like. That's what kids are like. That's what

people are like. So when someone asked me 13 months, say, hey, how was that marathon? You were going to run in July. And I'm like, oh, actually I ended up not running it. I had shin splints. I had this. I had that. The book, same thing. So we're just going to lie. We're going to We're going to lie to everyone and there's no consequences. And and you got a little credit, right? You got a little credit. Yeah. When I tell you like, hey, Echo, I'm going to write a book.

You're kind of like, dang, dude, Jockel's kind of getting after it. I say, hey, Echo, I'm going to run a marathon. You're like, dude, I kind of like, I kind of get a little credit from you. And I get a little actual reward of dopamine because we talked about this with Huberman. Like I get a reward of Of dopamine when I say hey echo I'm getting ready for I'm gonna run a marathon in July Yeah, that gives me a little dopamine you kind of you get fired up You kind of look up to me a little bit like oh yeah dude Jock was getting after it

So I get rewards from talking about it the actual physiological rewards of dopamine hit I get the little the little Assurance and credit from my friends and in the end It doesn't matter because I'm just going to lie about it in the end anyways. So we're not talking about it. We're about it. Right. I notice this too.

This is a weird memory for me to have. But in seal training, there were some guys like we would go to a restaurant on Saturday, right? And there'd be, this is in first phase. You don't know who's making it, but you're going to get food because the chow hall sucks, whatever. So it's a Saturday. You're going to go to get food. Like some restaurant yeah some all you can eat restaurant preferably right sure what was that one called Sizzler Sizzler's not there anymore but hit that buffet

No, you bring nine freaking young dudes to a buffet we're getting our money's worth boy But you know we're in there so wherever wherever we had a buffet we're in there and some guys Like a waitress would be like oh you need some more tea and like what do you guys do ha ha ha you know that kind of thing Yeah yeah fully some guys would be like we're in seal training yeah you know what I mean You know what I mean? Yeah. They kind of got that little dope. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Me, I wasn't even thinking about saying that. Yeah. And seems to me those dudes that kind of get that little, they quit. They didn't make it, man. They didn't make it because they got the reward. They got the reward. Their reward is to be able to tell people they're in seal training. And I, my bet that after they still tell, well, you know, I was in seal training.

And they get a little bit of credit for that too. And then they have whatever lie that they're going to make up. Well, do you make because I had chin splints tonight this night. That's bullshit. You quit. That's what happened. Very few guys will just say, oh, I quit because it was really hard. It's too hard for it.

They lie. And they, even when they quit, they lie. Because they'll say, I quit because I had a girlfriend. I had this. I had that. I realized it wasn't for me. I realized that that's not the job. What a SEALs do actually isn't what I want to do.

They have all kinds of lies. They tell them it. Some guys are like, yo, I quit. It was super freaking hard. That's a very rare person. I respect that person. Most people, they got to lie. So we are not talking about.

about it we're being about it here's the other thing about talking talking is risk free it's basically risk free you and I can sit around and plan for a marathon in six months we can talk about it we can go on a you know marathon training website and like look through it go hey dude what do you think this program seems pretty good no I'd rather this program we can come up with plans and all this stuff there's no risk to it there's no risk when you take action now we go out we run we get we can't make it we fail to finish like there's a serious risk. Oh, I'm going to write a book.

You write a book. You spend hours and hours and hours and hours writing a book. You send it to the publisher. They just say, yeah, this isn't good. Later. That happens all the time, by the way. Yeah. So action takes risk.

When you take action, it takes risk. It also takes discipline. Whereas talk is totally cheap. It takes no discipline whatsoever. It's really free, actually. You can just say whatever you want. which is kind of pathetic. I do think,

I was thinking about there's a little bit, a little bit of an intermediate step writing it now. It's a little bit of an intermediate step because you're detached from it. You have to put it on paper. You're looking at it now. Those words, look, in three weeks,

I don't know what I said to you. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you're like, hey, did you say, didn't you say 13 months ago you were going to run a marathon? I'm like, no, I was thinking about it. Right.

I told you all. thinking about it. No, I was fired up that day, but I didn't really mean it. You can just literally say I didn't really mean it. When you write down, I am going to run a marathon on July 13th and whatever. Yeah. That's hard to back away from. That's why we have contracts and stuff, right? Yeah, man. Because, you know, Echo and I were talking about our new business. We were going to split everything. And then I'm like, well, I was going to split everything with you. No. Yeah, it was just spitball. No, I was a spitball. The reality is. So it's the same thing. If you have to write something down, I think that's a little bit of a step.

But writing things down is still a far cry from action because I've known people that make checklists every freaking day and they don't execute what's on them. It's harder to not execute what's on them. It's easier to not execute on something you said you were going to do. Right? That's pretty easy. You know, pretty easy for people to go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Plenty days out. I mean, I'm going to work out tomorrow morning. Oh, yeah. If they say that, there's an 87% chance that workout's not happening. Sure, sure. Actually, there's a whole other category here. I'm not saying anything.

I'm just doing it. That's a whole other category. I'm not saying anything I'm just doing it. So you got that. But and I think that's the final, the final call here is to take action to do something. Even if you're doing something small, even if you're like, hey, I'm gonna run a marathon in July.

I'm starting training today by walking one mile. Which is gonna take me, how long is it take to walk one mile? 10 minutes, 11 minutes? Well, I don't know, it depends how fast you walk, but I don't know. 12 to 15 minutes 12 to 15 minutes you're gonna walk one mile today even if that's what you do today even if it's a half a mile because you only have seven minutes So you say you know what I'm gonna run a marathon I'm starting training today Yeah not by wait not by talking about it more right not even by writing anything down not very but I am gonna start today by doing something

I'm gonna make some actual action To move towards this goal yeah if you don't do that just kiss a goodbye. Yeah, so think about that Keep that in mind. Don't talk about it. Be about it. Yes, and remember how I accused you a while ago long time a few years ago. What was it about about I don't remember actually what is fresh in my mind because I was talking to a friend. Maybe I'll remember the beat down I gave you. Yeah, it was it was actually a pretty effective yet simple beat down. But by basically when got into this argument about debate, whatever, maybe got kind of heated. Maybe it didn't. I don't know. But I said I said, bro, you are. oversimplify things. And I had my debate, I had my argument laid out in my head. Like you oversimplied. I mean,

there's a difference between just simplifying it and oversimplified. Oversimplified means like, hey, you're leaving out some critical stuff. Right. There's critical complexities. And then you won the debate by just looking at me and going, or am I? And I was like,

you're right because, you know, you don't oversimplify. I think the rest of us just over complicated. Yeah, complicated. Exactly right. So anyway,

this might be, one of the ones that you're, you're not over. So you're simplifying it for, for sure. But so there's different like, like talking about being about it. You're right on both of them or whatever. But so you're, if you're talking about something that you're going to do, then that's like a whole thing where, yeah, people, a lot of times like social accountability is kind of a helper, a little spot, right? It can be. Yes, yes.

Exactly. If you have, if you're, if you're going to lie. Yeah. Which you probably are. Then it doesn't really matter. It's possible. If you're the type of person that, but if you're the type of person that's going to feel so guilty about it, like I let my friends down. Right.

You didn't even have to say anything. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like the, and I don't. You have that much. Yeah. I don't have that much experience with that part of things where committing to anything.

Not publicly. So, well, publicly it's more of like a social. You pay a social price, right? Whether you know it or not. Like if you're, if you do it once, you say, I'm going to run a marathon. and then you don't. And then they say, I thought you were going to run that marathon.

Hey, what happened with that? And you said, well, you know, this and that, everyone knows. Everyone fuels it from you for the most part. And then if, so even if you do that once,

you did pay that price. Versus if you didn't say anything and you just didn't do it. Then you don't pay any price at all. Where no one knew, no one held your kind of believe in this much. But that, think of the reward that you got.

Yeah, yeah. You know, you got, let's put it in dollars, right? You got like a $4 dollar reward. Yeah, in the moment.

13 months later, you spend that shit. 13 months later, they come and take money from you because you didn't do it. That only costs you like $2. Right? Yeah, yeah. Because it's been 13 months and you have a couple excuses.

If you just said, if you said, hey, I didn't do it because I'm actually a lazy piece of shit. That's why I didn't do it. If you said that, you would actually get you. You probably get a little bit of extra credit. You at least owning up to it. But what I'm saying is you got $4 for your, for your statement, you're only gonna get charged too.

So, in that you're making two bucks. Yeah, yeah, like in your own mind. In your own mind, you're making two bucks. And even to that person, they're kind of like, well, it is kind of a big deal to run a marathon and Jocco's real busy, so I can see why he probably didn't have time to do it. So everyone, you know, your true friends are kind of on your side of court.

There's a hater over here that's like, you said you're going to run it. You didn't do it, Paul. You know, you see what I'm saying? I feel like the other people's thoughts about it, usually in our minds is less very, it's not very relevant. given the dollar analogy because the payoff you get when you say it like let's say it's four dollars

like it's like that's true it's absolutely true because and now until it's time to run the marathon you're rolling with that four bucks in your pocket you know whatever dude I know people that have a lot of money like a lot of that kind of money oh yeah but here when they ask hey what up with that marathon you know how did that go or whatever and then in your own mind you you're like oh that four dollars that I had this whole time I got to give back like two maybe because you got it you got a back pedal a little bit in your mind it's like a little you know it'll come off as a valid excuse you think you believe that you know and it doesn't but like you think so you got to give back at least some of it but at least I was on the

path for a little bit you know kind of a thing like it kind of lasts in a way true too and then you got your friends and then like you got two different types of friends some of your friends like yeah of course and they didn't really want you to run the marathon anyways because then you make them look bad so they're kind of like yo dude and they actually take like 15 cents from you they might even give you another dollar you ever see there's people that just want to drag you down they don't want you to do something good yeah there's absolutely like people like that there's also people that so that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the jocco underground podcast so if you

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