Jocko Podcast - The Debrief w/ Jocko and Dave Berke #1: Telling Your Employees The Truth

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

Jocko and Good Deal Dave Analyze some issues and look for solutions. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/jocko-podcast/exclusive-content...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is the Jocko debrief podcast. Episode one with Dave Burke and me, Jocko Willink. So Dave, here we are. I want to talk a little bit about how we got here and why we decided to do this. What we do at Escalam Front is work with companies. We talk to them about leadership. We try and pass on the lessons that we learned about leadership.
Starting point is 00:00:25 We try and help them along the pathway and help their organization align all of their leadership. We do the same thing with EF Online, which is our online platform. And we spend basically all day, every day, talking about leadership with all these different individuals and all these different scenarios. And we, when these things happen, you know, there's issues that get resolved.
Starting point is 00:00:56 There's issues that get, that don't get resolved. and take another move and another step. And we spent a lot of time debriefing these things. And I was thinking, and we were thinking that it would be, we got done talking about one of these things. And I said, it would be nice if we had recorded that debrief and let everybody know that there's a solution to that particular problem.
Starting point is 00:01:19 A lot of good topics, a lot of universal lessons. And we thought it might be cool to put together a podcast about that. So here we go. we're trying to keep it a little bit shorter than the normal jocco podcast not talk for five hours so that way people can digest them get the lessons and move on try and keep a maybe like a half an hour something like that cover a couple topics so with that Dave let's debrief what do you got yeah the cool part about talking about leadership all day every day is like I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing and the conversations
Starting point is 00:01:59 we're having are these real-time problems that these companies are struggling with, and when we come up with a solution, it makes a huge impact. And I think the connection I was making when we're talking to it is how useful that can be. You don't have to be at this company for the lesson and the takeaway to be useful for you. So I think this stuff is pretty universal. The first company, this first conversation we were having, it came up recently, and the thing that's crazy about it, I probably had four different companies that I've been working with just in the last couple weeks, all dealing with the exact same thing. COVID hits. It's early March.
Starting point is 00:02:38 The whole thing, everything kind of shuts down. And one of the first things we were talking about, you talked about this on one of our very first EF online sessions is you got to tell your people the truth. And this is an emotional time. You got to say detached from the emotion, but you have to tell your people the truth. and one of the things I think a few people did was in their concern about making their people worried is they said, hey, there's nothing to worry about. Everything's going to be fine. We're not laying anybody off.
Starting point is 00:03:07 We're not going to make any big movements. And so in the interest of keeping people calm, they said something that in the short term actually kept them pretty calm. Hey, you had nothing to worry about. Let me ask you this. Was what they were saying the truth? So, no, it wasn't the truth. I was going to say because you can pre-identify the issue that you're going to have when the out of the gate, what you're saying is not the truth.
Starting point is 00:03:33 Yeah. And here's what you got to watch out for is you might think that you understand. You might think you understand. And you kind of bolster your opinion up because you know it's the easy way. It's the easy way to roll. So I look and go, hey, you know what? This virus is hitting. It's going to last a month.
Starting point is 00:03:50 You know what? We got enough funds. We'll be fine. We're not laying anyone off. That's the truth as you see it. The part that you're missing is you don't know. That's the part that you're missing. And if you remember early on when we were talking in echelon front, I said, hey, this is a virus.
Starting point is 00:04:08 It's going to run its course. Just like when you get sick as a human being with a virus, look, when you get a bacterial infection, guess what? You go and you take antibiotics and it cleans you up. That's just what you do. With a virus, there's no antibiotics. It runs its course and then you spend three days in bed and then when it's over, it's over. You lose, you know, five, eight pounds of whatever because you can't eat or you're sick or you're throwing up and then you get done and it's over.
Starting point is 00:04:37 And then you go back to normal life. And I just thought to myself, okay, this is a virus that's going to run its course. And you just extrapolate that out to the nation and you say, okay, well, the virus, that's what I did. Okay, the virus is going to run its course. and actually when you look at the world, many places, that's exactly what it looks like. There's a massive spike. The virus runs its course,
Starting point is 00:04:59 and then it's kind of gone. If you look at Italy right now, massive spike, people dying, it's awful, and then it's over. It runs its course. So that was my opinion of what was going to happen. But if you remember, when we talked about what we were going to do at Eshlawn Front,
Starting point is 00:05:17 I said we could breath hold through this thing, Meaning, hey, we could just be like, okay, batten down the hatches, let this thing go through, and we'll be back on the road in two months, and we'll be back to normal business. But there was enough of an ego control mechanism in place that I was said to myself, hey, I think that's what's going to happen, but I don't know that that's what's going to happen. So I didn't convince myself that that was the truth. I said, hey, this is what I think will happen. But we're not going to do a breath hold. We're going to make proactive changes right now, make adjustments because I don't know how long this thing's going to last. I'll tell you how long I think it's going to last, but I don't know that.
Starting point is 00:05:57 So therefore, we are going to make adjustments right now to be ready. If this thing is over in two months, great. We'll carry on. If it's not over, if it lasts for three months or five months or six months or a year, we're making adjustments right now to be able to contend with that sort of a future. So out of the gate, when you start thinking about these things as a leader, you not only have to tell the truth, you have to make sure that you are telling the truth to yourself about what you know and what you don't know. So to come out of the gate when something like this hits and say, we're going to be fine,
Starting point is 00:06:36 you know, everything's good. We don't have to make any adjustments. I'm not laying anyone off. We're not cutting. That's not being truthful to yourself about what you know and what you don't know. Yeah, and that right there is the difference when you None of these companies, none of these folks we've been working with sat down and said this is going to be really bad, but I can't tell my people that so I'm going to lie to them That's not what this was. It was exactly how you described which was
Starting point is 00:07:03 Hey, I don't really know, but I think the best thing I can do is keep everybody calm because we're going to get through this That's the breath hold. Hey, everybody, we're going to be fine and the not telling your truth to this yourself so you don't tell the truth of your people what it does is is it defers the problem, and now they're in a position where not only are they grappling with what to do now, because now they're having to make some harder decisions, they're also in a position to have to sort of explain and defend why they said what they said for five months ago instead of being truthful, which is, listen, I don't know what's going to happen. I do not know what's going to happen. Here are some things that I think may play out. Here's some experience that tells me we might move in this direction, but the way we're going to operate at this company
Starting point is 00:07:45 is we're going to be agile, we're going to be flexible, we're going to change to make sure we succeed and thrive and get through this. And that may mean some hard decisions along the way that when they come, we'll address them. And I don't know how that's going to play out. But what we're going to do is everything that we can to make sure we get through this. That is a very different conversation then you have nothing to worry about. Everything is fine. Don't worry about how this plays out because in a couple months we're going to be back to
Starting point is 00:08:10 ops normal. So that goes into you tell your people the truth. and you make a mistake. So then what do you do? Clearly, we know what to do. The book is called Extreme Ownership. When you come up and say, hey, everyone, don't worry about it. We'll be fine.
Starting point is 00:08:28 It's going to be gone in a couple months, no factor. And then a couple months goes by and it's still there and you don't have any income. And all of a sudden, we've got to start letting people go. What you do is you tell the people the truth about what's happening. And you say, here's what is happening. And then the most important thing you've got to do once you, once you say, say, hey, this is the adjustment that I've got to make, you've got to say, and here's why I need to make this adjustment. I was wrong. I thought this thing would be over in two months. I was
Starting point is 00:08:55 wrong. Here's the adjustment we're making. The reason that we have to, what's the situation? The reason we have to reduce salary right now is because if we don't reduce salary, we are going to run out of money. And if we run out of money, we won't have a business anymore. So we are going to cut salaries right now. And you know what? What? I don't know when it's coming back. Here are some other measures that we are going to take. We are going to adjust our business in this direction. We are going to adjust our business in another direction. At echelon front, for instance, what business did we adjust? We started doing all online training. We went from 99.9% face to face to 99.9% virtual at origin. What do we do at origin?
Starting point is 00:09:44 We went from making geese and jeans. By the way, geese, that's a great business to be in. When there's thousands of jiu-jitsu schools expanding across the country. And then in about a one-week period, every single jiu-jitsu school and academy in America was shut down. Who's buying geese when you can't do jih-soo? So what do we do? Pivot. We started making other products.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Products that we needed. We started making masks. We ramped up some of our other production. but you can't just sit there and say, well, you know what, we'll just sit around and wait until people need geese again. When is that going to be? I mean, well, to be quite frank, actually, people are starting to order geese again now
Starting point is 00:10:25 and we ramped up production again, but we didn't know how long it was going to be. So you have to explain not just what you're doing, not just about the mistakes you made, not just about your error in judgment, but also why you're doing this. I was working with a client the other day. It was almost the exact same problem.
Starting point is 00:10:41 and he was we were role-playing how he was going to tell his team hey you know we're going to have to get rid of some people it wasn't just cut in pain anymore was that we're going to have to get rid of some people and and what he was saying was this is a business decision which which is on the extreme version of I'm not having any emotions right hey this is a business decision I mean if you tell If Dave tells me, he's my boss and says, yep, I'm cutting three people. It's a business decision. Sorry. That means to me Dave doesn't care about me.
Starting point is 00:11:17 He just cares about the business. If you tell me that we're doing this because if we don't cut people right now, we will have to shut everything down and no one's going to have a job. And by the way, my goal is we bring once business starts going again and we make these adjustments and we pivot and we move, we'll be able to bring some other people back on board. Yes, that's what we're trying to do. So telling people the truth, telling them why you're doing what they're doing and admitting that you're making mistakes, very important things to go through in situations like
Starting point is 00:11:46 this. Yeah, we were talking about just today on Eiff Online, we're talking about leadership capital. And the best way to lose leadership capital, lose trust, lose respect is to show your team that you don't care about them. And when you talk about the why, one of the things you're trying to explain inside that why is how do we get through this? How do we get healthy? and why those sacrifices are important, and it is not easy to let someone go. It's not easy to do that. But if you have enough leadership capital and you care about your people enough, when you explain why we're doing what we're doing and how these things, these steps along
Starting point is 00:12:29 the way might give us a chance to actually increase investment over here. And I might shift you from this job to that job. Or I might not be able to bring you back here. But when this happens and this happens, I now have an opportunity to bring you back. Those people, what we're seeing is that people are getting their hours cut, people are getting their salaries cut. They're still trying to contribute as much as they can and work above and beyond what's expected of them because they believe in what's happening. And they want to be part of the recovery of that team and help maybe the ones that aren't going to be there or even just make that company survive. So even in these hard business decisions, the thing that matters the most is your people believing in what they're doing for you.
Starting point is 00:13:06 And what we're seeing is these companies that are working through this, their people are stepping up and contributing. When on paper they really shouldn't, but they're doing it because they're leaders They're saying and doing the things that make them know that I care about you and I want you to be successful and this is how we make it happen And if we don't and we all fail we all lose Yeah, the the losing leadership capital by not taking care of your people the Biggest indicator and self-check to ensure that you're not allowing that to happen is make sure that you're putting your team above you put the team above yourself.
Starting point is 00:13:44 And that is one of those things you think you can get away with. You think no one's going to notice that you kind of, you took care of yourself, you took the easy job, you didn't take the pay cut, whatever the case may be. You think no one's going to notice that. They all notice it.
Starting point is 00:13:57 And this is coming from years of experience of my own, of watching my leaders and seeing them take care of themselves sometimes. And hearing the whole, not just me. It's not just like I noticed it because I was super perceptive. No, I'm talking about everyone in the platoon. Did you see that piece of crap over there sitting with his hands in his pockets while we're working?
Starting point is 00:14:17 Everybody notices that. And one of the things I said on EF online today that somebody pulled out a little quote and put it in the chat box was, you know, if your team is going to suffer, you better partake in that suffering as a leader. And you better partake more as more than everybody else, more than everybody else. otherwise you're burning your leadership capital for no reason and this is this is the situation these are the times when that leadership capital matters the most you had another cool line today you need if online leadership capital is the currency of winning yes listen we were all running on a pretty hot streak the country the world was running on a hot streak we were all benefiting from this rising tide that all of us were growing, expanding, making money,
Starting point is 00:15:11 and things were really good for most of us for a pretty long time. Well, it's not like that right now. And it really matters where you really show that you believe in the things that you say, that the ethos that your people come first, all those things that we can say when it's easy to say when things are easy. This is where that leadership capital matters the most. And this is when winning is the most difficult, when that currency is the most viable. This is the time to have that currency.
Starting point is 00:15:39 It's a legit quote. Yeah, I thought you might like that one. So that's good. Good ways to deal with these situations and preventing the rumor and the chaos and the mayhem and how do you do that? Tell the truth. Explain why.
Starting point is 00:15:56 And make sure that you lead from the front when it comes to suffering. Partake in the suffering. That's good. What was the next one? The next one. So this is a kind of a relationship thing. We've got a couple people.
Starting point is 00:16:16 These are kind of more senior folks in the team, kind of key leaders in the team. They all work pretty well together. They've got two peers, two people kind of both manager, you know, leadership positions. They both work with each other. And one person, I was always coming to the other person
Starting point is 00:16:32 and asking for help. It's like, I'm coming to you. Hey, I've got the situation. can I get your advice? And I listen to your advice and I never follow it. So there's been the kind of this ongoing trend that for months and years, we're equals, we're peers. I make the gesture of asking what you think, but I actually don't apply or implement what you think. But if I go do what I want to do and I try to solve the situation on my own and it doesn't work out, I kind of come back at you and kind of point the finger at you. So I've got this person
Starting point is 00:16:59 who's been frustrated because he feels that every time he offers some advice, this other the person kind of ignores it, still blames them anyway. So a couple weeks ago, I thought, hey, do you have time for a call? I said, absolutely, they walked me through this. This person came to them and asked him for advice, and they said, I don't want to give you my advice anymore. You don't listen to me. And even if I offer you something that doesn't work, you still blame me for the problem.
Starting point is 00:17:22 So this person has kind of resigned themselves at this equal. I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to work through this with you. I'm tired of you asking me and not doing what I say. What should I do? in this situation. And that was kind of the scenario as they were tired of having this other person asked them for help.
Starting point is 00:17:41 So what's you told him? Well, I told him, I told him what he didn't want to hear. Look, man, this is a hard thing too. And the reason this one was hard for them and the reason why this is hard for anybody, and we can all put ourselves in the position where we don't, we're kind of exhausted by this other person's behavior. The only issue really that's going on here is this person. This person's own frustration, this person's own ego.
Starting point is 00:18:07 So the question I actually say, hey, listen, let me make sure I got the situation. They ask you, they ignore your advice. They do what they want. It doesn't work. Then they keep coming back to you for advice, and you don't want to help them anymore. And I said, who benefits from that? He said, nobody. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:18:23 How does the team benefit? The team doesn't benefit. So what's the real problem here? And I didn't actually have to tell them what the problem was or explain it. They said, the problem is my own ego. And the reason this person, this person I'm working with, was able to say that is because we've been working with them for months and months and months. And they, like most people do over time, come to the conclusion that in almost every situation
Starting point is 00:18:44 where you've got a relationship problem, the answer is almost always your own ego. It's almost always you are the problem inside that relationship. And so the question I asked them is it potential that maybe the advice that you give this other person isn't that good? So we kind of dissected a little bit of, hey, the two real key things to think about is, one is, hey, it may be that the problem isn't with them, the problem is with you. And the other element, too, is if you come to the conclusion that you're no longer going to participate on this team, you're no longer to contribute, you're no longer going to offer
Starting point is 00:19:17 what you have, what's the outcome that? And the outcome is that everybody's going to lose. And so that conversation kind of sunk in, which is like, listen, that frustration, that is your problem. You can, how do you get past that? So I'll go one step further on that. If I'm trying to, let's say I'm trying to give you advice. Yep.
Starting point is 00:19:38 And you're not taking the advice. One question I could absolutely ask myself is, you know, if I take ownership of that and say, well, maybe my advice isn't that good. That could be an outcome, right? The other, and then what do I do about that? I try and formulate better ideas. But the, the other thing is, maybe I'm not doing. a good job of communicating my advice to you in a way that you actually want to take my advice. And if I can't communicate something in a way that you want to accept it, then you're not
Starting point is 00:20:13 going to accept it. And one of the most rudimentary mistakes that human beings make is giving, when I say, hey, Dave, here's a better way to do what you're trying to do. That's, hey, you want, let's, in fact, let's try this. Dave, let me give you some advice. Now look, if I know you've got a big ego and I come to you with let me give you some advice, how's that going to work out? It ain't going to work out.
Starting point is 00:20:39 It ain't going to work out. You're going to say, yeah, go ahead. And I'm going to tell you my idea. It's going to bounce off your ego shield like with no, not even making a dent. It's not even going to make a dent. So maybe, and when we start pulling the strings on this and this is, and this is, It's one of those things where sometimes you almost feel like it's a cop out to get to the point in the conversation where you say you start pulling the string, pull the string, pull the string, and you get to a point where you go, oh, you don't have a good enough relationship with you. Because if I had a good enough relationship with you and I gave you advice, you'd be like, oh, I didn't see it that way.
Starting point is 00:21:14 And if I don't have that strong enough in relationship with you, what I need to do is actually be more tactful and maybe say, hey, Dave, can you explain to me why you're executing it like that so I can understand. it better and you say well you know we're doing it this way because this is the most efficient way oh hey the way you're doing this one part over here the cycle over here does that always does that always work the fastest and you go yeah it's always the best way oh that's awesome have you ever seen anyone do it this other way I was wondering what your opinion was of that and all I'm doing is just opening up your mind trying to have a conversation I'm actually now instead of me giving you my opinion I've actually flipped the deck over now I'm asking you for your opinion I'm asking you for your opinion, which means that I'm elevating your opinion because I'm asking for, I'm not giving you mine.
Starting point is 00:22:01 When I give you my opinion, I'm elevating my own opinion. I'm going to elevate your opinion. So I say, what do you think about that little part of the project over here, this little cycle? Do you think that's the best way? What's your opinion on that? And you say, well, you know, I have seen it done better. Oh, and all of a sudden we're having a real conversation about it. Similar vein, I had an individual on a, on a, on a.
Starting point is 00:22:24 on a call of the company and the guy props the guy says hey what do I do when my spouse won't take ownership you know and it's just and I had to go through the whole thing listen you know um this isn't about your spouse this is about you and if if you're looking at your spouse when your spouse doesn't execute the thing you way you wanted it to it's actually on you and I go I always go back to to Charlie Plum, if you haven't heard that podcast, it's number 76, and they, in the, in the Hanoi Hilton after you, was shot down and was a prisoner of war for six years. And when they had cellmates, if their cellmate was doing something that annoyed them, if, if Dave was doing something as my cellmate that annoyed me, it was my fault.
Starting point is 00:23:22 It was my fault. And if that's step number one for you, you're going to get a lot further in all your relationships. Instead of thinking when Dave does something that annoys me, that's my fault. Instead, it's Dave does something that annoys me. And it's my fault for allowing it to annoy me. And I need to adjust. Start there.
Starting point is 00:23:44 It's a good place to start. Yeah, the beauty of that too is whatever level, whatever way you look at this, It said however you want to pull that threat of that problem and get to the core of it, every direction you look at it, every way you attack it, it always comes back to you, which is actually a really good thing because that means you have all the control over this situation. And if the first approach didn't work, cool, no factor. Take another approach. The other reason why I really wanted to talk about this one, this is a company we've got a longstanding relationship with.
Starting point is 00:24:15 We've been with them for well over a year. We know these people really well. And this is one of those conversations that I get to have that's kind of fun is that in the middle of the conversation, I can see the other person dialing like they know what's going on. And when we were talking, and I was talking about the idea of, hey, listen, when you resign yourself to, hey, I'm not going to do this anymore. As I'm going to get to an explanation, this person cuts me off and says, that's not cover and move. And that right, there's like, hey, we're done. You got it. That's exactly right.
Starting point is 00:24:45 And so when you're working with other people and you see them make the connection, it makes that ownership piece so much easier when they can, in their own mind, say, oh, hey, what I'm not doing is this and that's hurting me and it's hurting the team. I can easily go fix that. It makes those other pieces so much easier to apply.
Starting point is 00:25:01 It's easier to keep your ego and check when you can actually connect to the things we teach. And this is one where they said, that's not cover move. I got it. That's good to go. Check. All right.
Starting point is 00:25:13 So build good relationships, and by the way, it's on you. Well, let's do one more. Do one more? Yeah. All right. What do we got? We had a company where we had a regional manager kind of responsible for several different districts. So this regional manager is kind of seen, I think they own like the eastern portion of the United States or something along those lines.
Starting point is 00:25:41 And had a bunch of different districts that kind of answer to this person. And one of those district managers is probably their best district manager good to go, but a bit of an ego. And this district manager sent an email to his boss telling him, hey, here's all the things we're doing wrong. Here's all the mistake. Kind of just an aggressive email and kind of articulate a little bit of frustration with how this regional manager was operating. So it wasn't an effective email. Obviously that didn't go. Wait, that wasn't an effective email?
Starting point is 00:26:13 You mean the regional manager didn't read it and go, gosh, thank you for this input. Thank you for coming at me like that. I really liked your, I really appreciate your transparency. Yeah, that did, that's not how it went over. And it's funny you said that because I think inside the email there was a phrase, I'm just being transparent or I'm just being honest, something like that, which was the caveat of, hey, I'm going to be a jerk, totally out of line inappropriate and nothing I'm going to say is going to resonate, but I'm going to say it anyway.
Starting point is 00:26:39 So that's kind of how the email came across. And of course, the regional manager amazingly didn't approve. appreciate that. Well, so an interesting thing happened. They talked about it and this person that sent the email, this guy was like, hey, you know what? I'm sorry. You're right. And realize that the way that he communicated wasn't effective. And straight up took ownership of it and said, hey, I shouldn't have done that. I let my emotions get the best to me. I apologize. And hey, that's not going to happen again. I'm going to do a much better job communicating. But that wasn't, That wasn't the issue.
Starting point is 00:27:12 The issue is, in this case, that regional manager, that boss took the apology of the subordinate as a win, as a victory. And so when this person took ownership and apologized and said, hey, I was out of line, the regional manager reinforced that by saying, yeah, you were. Something like, don't ever let that happen again. Don't ever talk to me like that. And left it as I kind of won the argument. I put you back in your place.
Starting point is 00:27:39 and there should be no confusion on your mind of how this thing works. And that was actually the real issue here because that regional manager, this senior boss was in a position to have an incredible win out of this bad situation. And what they did was actually undermine their relationship because the other person was doing what we've been talking about, which is take ownership. And when they did that, they kind of got smacked in the face over doing that. And that, the amazing thing about it was,
Starting point is 00:28:08 that regional manager took a win and turned it into a loss and created more problems with that subordinate that had nothing ever come out of it from the get-go. Yeah, that's interesting. So usually it's the other way that I have to discuss this issue, which is when I say as the boss, hey, Dave, this was my fault. It shouldn't have gone this way.
Starting point is 00:28:37 I made a couple bad calls. It's on me. And people say, yeah, but what happens when Dave says back to me? Yeah, you're damn right, Jocko. It is your fault. And people don't know what to do. That catches them off guard. They don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:28:52 And I say, hey, Dave, you know, this was my fault. I shouldn't let this happen. You go, yeah, it was your fault. And now I think, wait, wait a second. What happens? My ego flares up. And it seems uncomfortable because now you're blaming me. And when you blame me, I get defensive.
Starting point is 00:29:06 and now I go on the attack. And I actually retract my ownership. So what I find interesting about this one is I'm the DM. I'm the subordinate. And I submit the apology. Hey, boss, I'm really sorry. I got emotional and I wrote this aggressive email. I should have read it before I sent it.
Starting point is 00:29:30 You know I want to build a good relationship with you. It's on me. I won't let it happen again. I'm sorry. And then the regional manager goes, yeah, it is your fault. And you better not do that again. And what happens to the subordinate? The subordinate goes, wait a second.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Wait a, you're saying this is my fault. And the correct response actually is, yeah, boss, absolutely. As I just said, this is on me. It's my fault. But what happened is, so even though, yeah, the regional manager, the boss made a bad move. Made a bad tactical move, didn't build a relationship, didn't move it forward. But the subordinate, what he should do, that's, you know, I always, this is one of the times where I consistently yell an answer. You know, when I consistently yell an answer, which is when I say, hey, this is my fault and you say yes, it does.
Starting point is 00:30:26 And I go, I know. That's exactly what I just said. It's the same thing. Hey, hey, boss, I shouldn't have done this. It's my fault. Yeah, you're right, it is your fault. Yes, absolutely, boss. That's what I just said.
Starting point is 00:30:36 And I definitely want to take ownership. And I need to be, think through things before I do it. Boom. Elevate the conversation. Move it forward. As opposed to letting your ego flare up a little bit. Look, this is what we're doing. How do you, how do you disarm the ego?
Starting point is 00:30:53 You subordinate your own. I can't, I can't forcibly subordinate your ego. I can't forcibly do it. I and we have two big egos in the room I can't forcibly subordinate you I can try and how can I try and do it I can be offensive to you I can put you down I can rank on you as all these ways I can try and force the submission of your ego none of them work I mean they might work temporarily you know I could yell and scream at you and kick you out of my office cool I won that minute battle yeah and then you're you're bunkered even
Starting point is 00:31:27 more into your position you hate me now yeah you went from like hey I'm pissed the boss now I hate my boss so it's not a win when I forcibly try and submit your ego I'm not gonna make it happen properly so what I what I can do is I subordinate my own ego and you know what that stings it stings I know it stings I know it stings and people think oh jocco you go into a room and if your boss if your boss was telling you do something stupid you just stand up and say hell no boss I'm not doing it wrong I'm I made a career out of subordinating my ego. Why? Not to kiss someone's ass, not to make them feel good, but so that I could do my job better so my team could get the support we needed so we could move forward. So I could develop
Starting point is 00:32:11 that relation. So when I did need something for my boss, I could actually get it. That's what we're doing here. So when you feel that frustration and you can hear it, you can hear it in someone's voice. I don't know the words that they use. We don't have quotes in here. But even when I here he took it as a win and took it as if he was right he was he was accept that accept that and use that as a starting point to begin to redevelop and rebuild that relationship probably a good place to stop we did it 33 minutes not bad all right if you want to join if you want to dig deeper into all these aspects of leadership in any arena. You can join Dave and me and the rest of the EF, the Echelonfront team. EFonline.com. We solve problems through leadership. This is what we do.
Starting point is 00:33:17 If you want leadership guidance inside your organization, you can come check out our leadership consultancy at echelonfront.com. I've also written a bunch of books on the subject of leadership, extreme ownership, dichotomy of leadership strategy and tactics. Got some other Jocko Podcast, Jock Unravelling, Grounded, and the Warrior Kid Podcasts. And if you want to support any of these podcasts, including this one, then you can get some gear from jocco store.com or origin, mane.com. Thanks for listening to the debrief. Now go out and lead.
Starting point is 00:33:54 This is Dave and Jocko out.

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