Joe and Jada - Angie Martinez IRL - Bozoma Saint John on Faith, Hustle Culture Lies & Trusting Your Inner Voice

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

Businesswoman, author, and reality TV star, Bozoma Saint John joins Angie Martinez to discuss making it as a woman entrepreneur, why she stands up for fellow CEO and businesswoman Emma Grede, how she has adapted to the "hustle culture" she was brought up in, being the parent of a teenage daughter, and how she cancels out the hate she receives on social media from being a star on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills".Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt...All lines provided by ‪Hard Rock BetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Yeah. All eyes. Opinions. Oh, everybody has an opinion. How do you manage to think that? You hate it? I hate it so much. That's so honest.

Most people would be like, I don't care, but I don't listen to people's opinion. Oh, I care. You read it. You read it. I'm responding. You know, that cat that what that's like, that's me. Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode

is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Both of the St. John is a Hall of Fame inducted marketing executive, author, entrepreneur, general just badass. In 2023, she stepped out of the corporate box and she published her memoir, which we were just talking about, and we'll share in a second. It was called The Urgent Life. It is called The Urgent Life.

She's now a full-time cast member of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. That was not on any of our Bingo Cards. Nobody's Bingo Card. And she stars in On Brand with Jimmy Fallon, which is a marketing competition series on NBC. And she has many, many, many other things that we're going to talk about all the things today.

But Bozeman and St. John is our guest today. In real life. And we met recently for the first time. Oh, my God. On a women's panel. Yes. I was so excited. I was so excited.

Because, you know what? I'm not from New York, but I feel like a New Yorker. I lived in New York for 15. years. By the way, the longest I've ever lived in any city in my entire life. That's why you moved around a lot. Yeah, moved around a lot. And I loved hearing you. Oh, every day. Thank you. Like, every day. Yeah, yeah. You know, I know you? You know what I mean? And so, like, when we met, it felt very familiar because I feel like I knew you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but also,

there's enough of your public, you have a footprint in the world that I knew you, I knew you somewhat. Yes, well, thank you. So we already came with some type of... But I was already in love. And then I'm like, oh, my God, to talk to Angie. Because, like, you're... I mean, you do do great storytelling. Thank you.

And you have great conversation. And so even when we met at the panel, I was like, oh, man, we could sit up here and talk forever. That's going to be... How are we going to continue this conversation? We got to get off the stage. Well, number one, I was saying that you also are amazing storyteller. Oh, well, thank you.

And reading your book... Because, you know, um... You could have wrote a business book. Oh, yes. Which, by the way, my publishers wanted me to write that book. I was wondering about that. That was the book they wanted me to write. And also, you could still write.

Yes, and I probably still will write. You still will. We just interviewed. We just interviewed, I'm agreed, which I know you did also. Which we're going to get to all that. Exactly. We're going to get to all that. I'm very curious about how you feel about what's being said about her and things of that nature now.

I have a lot of thoughts. We'll get into that. Yeah. But, you know, writing a memoir is a tricky thing. And so when reading it, I wondered how much, because a lot of people, they tell their story and they find a partner who's a writer by trade. But yours felt so intimate. I just wondered, I was like, wow, this was a lot of your own voice and writing and words. Yes, yes, yes.

But the way that it was written, because I've been studying writing for the past few years, I also wrote a memoir. And the woman they brought in to help me because I was insistent I had to write so much. She taught me so much about actual writing. And storytelling. And the way your book reads is it goes past to present. Yes. Past to present. And you've been through so much that it's just a night.

It's a beautiful ride. Oh, thank you. I know it's a lot of pain and things in there also. But it's just a beautifully, beautifully written book. Thank you. You know, so you're right. My publisher, and by the way, tons of publishers over the years have been like, you should write the business book.

Yes, how to get to the corner office in heels book. Which or like, you know, girl boss for dummies. And I was like, oh my God. Well, I don't know about any of those titles. You know what I mean? But, you know, I really felt called to write my memoir because as a successful businesswoman, people always think that like somehow you had a silver staircase, you know, and that like nothing bad could have happened to you in order for you to continue to rise.

And for me, I was like, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. I've dealt with some shit in my life. Yeah. You know, some stuff that really. Get to know me. brought me down. Yeah. And I think for me, it was like, look, I want, I want you to read my book and not only know me better, but also appreciate that, like, you can put yourself in these shoes. And you can also, as chief, regardless of what has happened to you. Because, like,

this shit is heavy. Yeah. You know, so loss and love and survival and thriving and climbing the staircase and getting things wrong. Like, at one point, my editor was like, Yo, Vos, like, you, there's some parts in here where you're not the hero, you know. So you don't look that good. And I was like, good, actually. What part was it? Oh, my God. Well, there are many parts.

But, you know, I mean, there's some stuff I regret. You know, it's like when I'm jumping ahead, but when my husband was terminally diagnosed, we had been separated for about a year and a half or so. We hadn't divorced. I wasn't planning on serving him the paperwork because I was like, let him do it. You know, let him be the bad guy. You know what I mean?

And I was trying desperately to move on. I thought, okay, well, if I have a boyfriend, then he real going to get pissed off and then serve me some divorce papers. And I was like, you know, you should get a girlfriend too. You know what I mean? Like, let's just all move on. And he was refusing, refusing.

And then one day I went to his house and I saw a pair of women's shoes there. And those were some ugly-ass shoes. I knew they weren't mine. You know what I'm saying? I was like, who's this bitch? And he had a girlfriend. And I was like, okay, I don't know how I feel about this, but all right, you know, this will help move us on.

But then when he was diagnosed and it was, she and I were getting along, you know, we'd like trade off time in the hospital. And it just felt very sister-wife. And I was actually very comfortable with that until they said he was going to die. Then I was like, honey, you got to get up out of here. Okay? I'm his wife. And these are my vows. And I'm the one who's going to be here.

And in telling that story, I was definitely, I was unfair. You know? And I wish I could do it over. Unfair to her. He was very happy. I mean, he, you know, went on Facebook and was like, Thank you, God. I got my empire back and my kingdom back, you know, the whole thing.

Like, he was, but I don't think I was, I was being fair. Right. I wasn't being fair to her. And I regret that. Did you ever, have you ever made that men's or seen her? No, I'm not talking to her. No, I'm kidding. Look, I'm not, I'm not that much of an angel now, okay?

But you've admitted that before. You've said this. I have said it. I have said it. She's gotten win. I hope she got, I hope she got win. But we don't need to talk. I mean, come on.

There's nothing to do here. There's nothing more than that. It's enough for you to admit. It's not for me to admit. We don't need to be friends. And no. Yeah. There's so much in your book that, you know, even looking at you now where you are,

we talked about this when we were in the panel. You took this gig on Real Housewives, which people were like, are you crazy? Yeah. No, they really did. Are you crazy? Yes. And what was it that made you adamant in your decision-making? You know, it was really.

it was really so hard to follow my instinct and my gut on this. And by the way, I have said adamantly, I've done a TED talk on it, I've talked about my intuition, how powerful it is, how much I trust it, how I follow it. I don't take anybody's advice. I don't ask anybody for their opinions on my life. I am strong in that. But it is also very difficult to do that, you know, meaning that when people have an opinion about what you do or who you are, especially if you respect them.

I'm not just talking about the strangers on the internet. I'm talking about people in my real life. Yeah. You know, and not just my mom. Right, right. But like, you know, people, my daughter, my friends, my mentors, you know, people who were successful, who are ahead of me. Yeah.

Who are like, this is a bad idea. You know, and I'm just like. And your voice says. Yeah. My inner voice says, no, this is where you should be going. But the thing is, it has happened actually quite a few times. in my life where everybody in my life has advised me against the thing. And I went to do it anyway.

And then it turns out to be successful. And then they're like, you know what, Bose, you were right. You were absolutely. Go ahead. You know? And so it's happening enough times that I feel drawn to my own will, even in the face of people doubting it. But it has not caused, it has not caused me to have fear.

You still have the fear. You still have the fear. I still have the doubt. I'm still like, what if this time they're right? What if this time I'm stepping off the ledge and like, I'm going to fall and hurt myself? And what if? Yeah, what if I join the housewives? And it's the worst decision ever because I'm going in with the intention of telling my story from my perspective,

adding a corporate baddie to the roster of women who are rich and successful and like having the best time ever. I'm like, yo, I want to represent my people. But what if it's terrible? What do they make me look awful? What if like this Hall of Fame career comes crashing down because I did reality TV? You know, just the other day, somebody on threads, there's a debate going on about Emma Greed and her book, right? And I'm a defender of her philosophy. And somebody said, it was something, I'm going to paraphrase, but it was something like, yeah, she,

she's talking so big, but she still ended up on reality TV. You, they said this about you. They were talking about me. And now it's like, shit, is that a dig? Oh my God, I think it's a dick. You know what? Did it stay?

Yeah, I'm like, it's sung a little bit because I was just like, wait, hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait, let's not, you know, let's not trash everything. Like, you know, that's not beneath me. And I don't believe any of the women who are participating in any of these shows are beneath me. Or beneath us. Yeah.

You know, they don't have a lower stance. standard. They happen to showcase a certain type of life and a, you know, certain type of their personality that sometimes is not always the greatest. Yeah. But I do have, I feel like there's redemption. Hello, my friends. Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet, Florida Sportsbook. It is NBA playoff time where the lights are brighter, the pressure is higher, and every possession can change a series. And on Hard Rock Bet, every night is your shot to score a major bucket. So you can win big. They have all kinds of sports. specials going on too. They have you can it's just like winner go home energy and there are always a

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Emma. We had Emma on the pod. Yeah. And it's like it's one thing to be a successful businesswoman. And you operate within the walls. Yeah. How you do, you learn your lessons. You mentor people privately or you do TED talks or you do things to a world of people who want that information. It's different when you cross over into a mainstream platform. Ooh, yes. Those same opinions don't hit this. Yeah. You, you.

Nail head. Yes. Nail the head, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's some of the complication that Emma is facing. Enormous. Yeah.

Enormous complication. And I wonder for you, too, which I would like to talk about what's happening to Emma and the fact that you're choosing to defend. or to support. Yeah, yeah. But have you experienced any of that, like shifts? Because now you're a public figure in a different way. In a different way.

And you are so right. I think that's a missing concept and idea. And again, let's be honest. I was not aware that there was a difference. I know that sounds so like probably naive. Well, because you had never experienced this type of thing. No, I didn't know that, okay, there was a difference between being public in a business format and being public in pop culture.

You know, and that the same sort of respect that I have in the business world may not carry over. I'd be teaching people again about me and maybe they wouldn't agree. Yeah. And that was a shock because I was like, wait, hold on. But I have all of these credentials and all these receipts. And why would you question that, you know? Yeah. And then also I think part of the issue that I am currently having with anyone's sort of like dismissal of emigreed success,

and therefore her book and her advice is that they haven't been there. So how could you criticize what she's telling you? You know, she's not coming from a place of theory. I have a lot of problems with people who teach things based on theory. You know, like all of these gurus that are out there

they're trying to tell you how to be successful in business but have never occupied a C-Suite job. I'm literally like, what do you know? Yeah. What are you talking? What is this? Show me. You don't have any receipts.

But we have a woman who has not only succeeded in creating multiple billion-dollar businesses, but she is generous enough to tell your ass how to do it. And then you want to turn around and be like, nah, I don't think so. How she knows. What crap is she trying to tell me? Let me stop me. But it's funny because I was looking at some of the debate, and you even posted a clip about this part.

There was a lot of like a discourse around her saying the working from home was okay or not. And then I saw I saw other people's arguments about why that is problematic. And I honestly can understand both sides of the story. And it's because Emma wasn't saying people should never work from home. She was just letting women. Hey, guys, if you want to cut through, here's some of the problems with that. You should be aware of. That's correct.

So that's her take. Yes. But when it goes on a clip on these huge platforms and there's a, And there's women sitting home who are like fighting their bosses to be able to do it from home because I do understand both sides of that. So I do think it's like who is your audience and what are you saying? And having to be more careful about clips and over explaining. You can't. You can't control the clips.

But I do understand how this happens. But I wish people had a bandwidth to actually understand context and totality. She wrote 350 pages and you're talking about a 30 second clip. Yeah. I'm like, y'all, come on. Like you got to read the whole thing. Critical thinking, guys.

You know what I mean? And like analysis. Because what she's talking about is complicated. She's not saying that like, oh, there shouldn't be any flexibility or that the world is right. You know, that there's not other reasons

why women are held back. Correct. She's not saying that. She's saying, hey, this is a truth about the situation. Okay? you want advancement, you need proximity. That is not a lie.

You want to be in the C-suite? You can't do it sitting at home, not close to the CEO. Now, obviously, there are global jobs. There are jobs that require you to be in a different place from your boss. Everybody understands that. Then figure out a way to get proximity. So if you're working from home, don't think that you just click on the camera for every meeting and then you go slink back and do whatever you're doing.

you're doing at home, right? Like, yes, you're in your spreadsheet, you're in your documents, and you're solo. And then you only pop up for the meetings that are required of you. No, sis. You've got to do more than that. So if you can't be there in person, then figure out how to get close to the boss quickly. Right. And in more than just the showing up on the meetings and have your camera off, too, by the way.

Let me add that in there. Because the challenge is that, like, this is the truth of the environment that we're currently in. Additionally, and this is, again, the part of the nuance that is missing, I'm like, look, we've done our part. Okay. We knocked down a part of the wall from the women before us who couldn't have even imagined the successes that we have right now, right? Like, they can't, those women could never have even imagined the things that we've been able to push forward. So now it's your turn. And we're giving you the keys so you know how to

operate right now. And then you knock down the wall. But people are expecting that not only did we knock down the old walls, we should also knock down new walls? What are y'all doing? I'm like, come on. But because this is what happens. Everything is so like, I don't know, box into what the clip headline is and people respond to just to that. But if we are talking nuance and bigger picture, you can

also understand the other side of that argument, I'd imagine that you could understand that. Where other people are, that was some of the arguments that I saw on socialists. Other people are listening. So when you're arguing with your boss to be able to work from home because that makes sense in whatever the situation that is. And they're fighting you because for whatever dumb reason, and they're like, Emma said you should come to the office.

I get that. And now you have a platform that's bigger. Yeah. And you're not just talking to women who want to succeed in business. Now you're talking to everybody. And then so your words have so much more weight. Yeah. But can we say the quiet part out loud?

Yes. Your boss believes you should be at the office anyway. Mm. So Emma and I are telling you what your boss is probably not going to tell you out loud. Mm-hmm. They're going to yes you. Okay, but then you... They're going to say... But then you and Emma saying it, it gives that boss, he sticks his chest.

It doesn't actually. He sticks his chest out and says. His chest was already out. Look at what your girls said. His chest was already out, but you're not seeing it. Mm, okay. He's already under the impression that you are not doing enough being at home. Mm-hmm.

He's already under that impression. Believe me, your boss is not listening to us, two black women and being like, yes, that's what they said. He didn't do that. He didn't believe it. Okay, there's the thing, right? So maybe he's not. Maybe he's not.

But the women are now putting you guys in position of being a voice for, which is different than what you guys have had to do before. Yes. Before it was just like uplift, let me put you on, let me show you this, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. But now you've, because of. of your platforms becoming so large. Yeah.

The voice is more important. Yes. And so here's the thing, is that we could either, right, be quiet about it and not tell you the truth. And believe me, also, I hope Emma doesn't get mad at me for telling you this and saying it out loud. But I did talk to her about that. You know? I was like, hey, look, if they don't appreciate it, shut the fuck up. Don't talk.

And then we sat there and looked at each other and we're like, nah, but we can't do that. It's like, because the thing is that, look, people are going to be mad at you when you tell the truth. They always are. It happens to every single messenger. So, you know. And this is like one thing.

Yeah, it is. In the sea of all the things you have shared. And there are so many truths that are hard to say out loud. You know, there are. And also, again, another thing that I should probably not say out loud is that like, look, there are a lot of people who've come before us who didn't say anything. Who didn't tell you this. Who didn't tell you the truth about what they're actually thinking.

And then you had to find out the hard way. So, yeah, maybe it feels like, hey, look, you're giving this idea and this platform error because you're also parroting what they're saying. But my point is that, like, I'm actually not parroting what they're saying. I'm just saying it in a way that you're going to hear it. Mm-hmm. Because they've been telling you that. You're just not listening.

What are the other things that they don't tell women? Girl, so many. There's so many things. Oh, we need a whole podcast for that? Oh, we need a whole podcast for that. You know, let's not even start talking about money and how to, like, ask for promotions and get raises because it's not just proximity. You know, some of it is like our own unwillingness to go before we are ready. You know, it's like, look, you know how many times I sat in my office as a C-suite executive and men who had just

started working, white men in particular, who had just started working in the job like three months, came into my office that they needed a raise. With no problem. No problem. And they had proof. They'd have receipts and be like, in the last 90 days, this is what I've been able to achieve. Sometimes they weren't wrong, by the way. But I think women actually do it better and faster.

And then do you know how many times I would tell like a woman who was maybe a peer or something to that guy, had been like, pst, you know, Homeboy over here. By the way, under threat of HR, homeboy came into my office. He said he needed a raise. She'd be like, I'm like, yeah, girl, he did. And he had proof. And his proof is right, what you got? And she'd be like, oh, man, all right, all right, I'm going to come, I'm going to come.

And then never came. And I'm like, I can't sit in my office just be like, okay, you know, she gets raised. You know? You got to do your part. You got to come too. Yeah. And so there's all kinds of, but the problem is that, like, if I, I say that out loud, which actually I just have, she's going to say, oh, well, but this is, you know,

I need merit-based promotions and raises. And it's unfair that Chad over there comes into your office and after three months tells you needs a raise and then you give him one. And I'm sitting here, you can see I'm doing the work and you didn't give me the raise. Yeah. Girl, you got to get up and do your part. You got to do it. Yeah. And it's not enough for you to just sit there. Yeah. Why do do that. What is that about? I don't know what that's about. I would also, it's not what I do. I would also like to offer to people is that like, you know, it's okay to say what that one part of what somebody said doesn't work for me. Yeah. And not dismissed their whole existence. Like, you don't have to throw somebody away. That's the other nuance. Maybe the one thing they said,

you kind of, I don't love that. I think that should have been said to whatever you're feeling is on whatever. Like, yeah. An example of that. What? We love Steve Harvey. Okay. Okay? Let me just start there.

Oh, gosh. Love Steve Harvey. Love Steve. At one point, I saw him. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman, help make you funnier.

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The group. The yard birds, right? That's the name. The Harvard Yard. But they're open. Do you have a name suggestion? We're open. Since you guys are middle-aged.

One erection. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. Human me. I need some jokes to make me seem funny. Life throws hurdles big and small. The question is, how do you conquer them? On hurdle with Emily Abadi, we sit down with the most inspiring women in sports and wellness,

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Is somebody coming after me? Jacob told Levan, you're ruining my life. Listen to Kingdom of Fraud on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do a interview or he made a statement about how he hustles so hard. He only gets four hours of sleep a night. And if you want to be successful, you can only, you can only, you can, only sleep four hours because otherwise you're lazy. Paraphrasing.

Yeah. And I heard that and I was like, damn, because I like some sleep. People don't think that, but I do. I sleep my full eight hours. You do. Absolutely. Good for you. And if I don't get it, I'm horrible.

Okay? So I have to get it. And I heard that and I was like, damn, well, how am I going to do that? Because I'm not actually useful with just four hours of sleep. I tried. And the shit wasn't working. So I went back to my eight hours. And I was like, you know what?

I'm going to have to figure out a way to make whatever. Every other four hours I spent sleeping, like I got a double time on something else. Just so I can prove the fact that, like, yes, I'm working. I'm working hard. I got to double the time when I'm actually awake. You know? And so then I use that as my motivation to do more in my waking hours because I realize that, oh, there's other people out there who are four hours ahead of me because they're only

sleeping four hours because they took Steve Harvey's advice. You see what I'm saying? Which would have been shit advice for you. Which would have been horrible. And by the way, I don't throw the man away. Yeah. I don't discount his successes. he gets incredibly successful.

Like, what a shame it would be? And still plenty to learn from him. Plenty! I'm like, what a shame it would be if I just took that and said, ah, he doesn't know what he's talking about. His successes. Oh, the only reason he got is because he's a man. Well.

No, stop. No, no. But I'm just saying that, like, I could say that and I would be wrong. Right. I'd be dead wrong. And so my point is it like... But you'd be mad about the one thing. I'd be mad about the one.

Okay? But that's my point. Is it like sometimes you take advice... from people who've done it and you're like, ooh, I can apply that. And then sometimes you take you're just like, ooh, that actually doesn't fit me. But let me take the knowledge that's inside of there and apply it in a different way. So my thought was like, oh, shoot, there are people who are only sleeping four hours. They have four more hours in the day than I do.

So how am I going to spend my 16 hours in a way that's going to be even more beneficial? So that just made me hustle more in the 16 versus being like, oh, I got to have 20 to work with. Yeah, we can't do it. Four hours of sleep is brutal. I don't know how people do it. No, it's ruthless. There's a whole army of people who decided we're going to sleep four hours. No, I've heard this too.

We also came, we also like, I don't know, I was raised in like hustle culture, right? Yeah. And there was, I don't know, there was admiration for that. I took pride in how much, how hard I hustled. So much. I didn't sleep, and I did this for free at the beginning, and I did this for this many years. And at one point, at a certain point, you get to. me it's like, but there's almost, so I've switched internally where I don't, I still work hard.

Yeah. I still try to have, you know, whatever balances for me, being, paying attention to it. Yeah. But also, I feel like there's also, it's just culturally, it's not what people want to hear right now. Yeah. But guess what? People are tired. Right?

But during those years when that was the way to do it, if you told somebody you slept eight hours, they'd be like, you lazy ass, idiot. You know what I'm saying? So now, yes, of course, our health and wellness is at the top of conversations. Mental health is at the top of conversations. Thank God, though, that part. When I started out and walking up both ways, the conversation didn't exist. And so, yeah, you couldn't have said like, oh, sleep eight hours a day and you'll still get to the top of the mountain.

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That's 20% off at basque and Lather, C.O.com. Code IRL. I wonder if our way of dealing with mental health and wellness at the time was like just pouring into, we were like workaholics. Yeah. So that was the vice of choice. Yeah. We weren't great. But yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's the way we dealt with it. And that's also how we respected people. You know, if like you worked like that and didn't have a breakdown, then you were the winner. Yeah.

Right? You're the badass. Yeah. But if you work like that and you had a breakdown. break down, people are like, ah, I see shoes. We can't wait. Get out of here. You know? And now we don't say that. Do you still work like that? No, absolutely do not. I work very hard. But like I said, I use my 16 hours very well. Just give me a little insight, like, to how you manage that. How do you sleep eight hours

every night? Yeah. You're still very successful in many different ways. You're on boards of charities, you have reality show, television shows. Yeah. Yeah. Engage. With two weddings coming up. It's like, I got a lot going on. But the thing is that, like, I'm also very scheduled, you know, very disciplined in my time. And so I don't get thrown off course very often because either I'm anticipating X, Y, Z thing. Like, I always tell my team, I'm like, hey, look, the better planned we are, the more successful we are. You know, because, of course, there will be things that are thrown into your day. Your child gets sick or, you know, an appointment cancels or a deal doesn't come through the time that you thought it would.

And then you're stuck because you've got to readjust the calendar and readjust your priorities. But I feel like those are exceptions. And so the better planned I am, the better I'm able to get things done. So, yeah, I wake up at 5.30 in the morning. I have about an hour to myself where I'm praying and thinking and writing down things. I go to the gym at 7 a.m. until 8. Every day? Every day.

Six days a week. Sundays I take off. I rest like God. And then. He do this every day without fail. Every day. You're like my hero. Yeah, 7 a.m.

I wish to be in this. I wish to have that type of. Girl, I'm out here. I'm lifted, heavy. You know what I mean? Getting out of frustrations, running, doing cardio, all the things. Every day. Every day.

Eight, I'm at home. My daughter goes to school at 8.30. So at least we have those 30 minutes to just make sure she's good for the day. I get ready by 10 a.m. I'm in front of my camera or I'm in a meeting or whatever. I do my meetings. So about five. then it's time, you know, to get to the emails and the other things I got to do, I turn off at 7.

Off. Off. What happens? You can't reach me after that. After 7 o'clock. Really? No matter what's going on? You can't reach me.

Unless it's like some sort of like diary emergency, the world is burning down. But I've done that for so many years that people are trained. They know that like you better get to me before 7 p.m. Whatever time zone I'm on. After that, you can't reach me. And I'm asleep by 9.30. Even now with this new level of like career and public facing. Here's the thing.

And again, this is why you've got to add the things in your life that won't allow for those breaks to happen. I don't take dinner meetings. Okay? I don't go to dinners. And so it's like if you want to meet with me over a meal, it's going to be breakfast or lunch, preferably lunch because my mornings are busy. You know what I mean? And so that's how I, so it's like, look, if you, if we need to have like people are like, oh, let's go to, let's go. Let's go grab a bite.

Let's go have dinner. I'm like, yes, I'm available for lunch on the 24th. Wow. You know what I mean? So never dinner with the girls? I rarely do that. No. Why?

If I'm going to get with the girl, because it disrupts my sleeping time. Oh, got it. You know what I mean? Because I've got to unwind from the day. And so at 7 o'clock, I need to start unwinding. Otherwise, how am I going to be asleep by 930? What is the unwinding like? How do you do that?

Wine. Wine. Wine? And TV and TV and 7. And, you know, maybe. Maybe I'll probably make some phone calls. Hang out with your kid. Hang out with my kid.

I'll make some phone calls with some friends. But like the girl time where you're like sitting and you're chatting and all that, that happens on Sundays usually. Sunday. Yeah. It's like, you know, we're going to brunch or. Fascinating. Yeah.

But I have to be disciplined that way because otherwise I won't get done all the things I need to get done and I have to focus. Mm-hmm. You could squeeze in a dinner at six, no? No, because you're still in work mode because you only have till seven to work. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm still in work mode. But the thing is that, like, I feel like at this point, again, sometimes there are exceptions, but people will tell you.

How long have you been living? Oh, years. Really? Maybe a decade. Wow. Yeah, probably a decade. Does it piss people off sometimes? What about, like, date nights and stuff?

Oh, girl. So here's the thing. I really, I do like date night. But Sunday. Yeah, Sunday. And look, the thing is. is like I am also a home body. So I prefer that we do the date at home. And I know it probably sounds crazy. But it's like, let's eat in. Let's sit on the couch. You know, we know, we can say

whatever we want. We don't have the waiter come and interrupt us. Like, you know, we stay comfy. You know what I mean? So you are not out in these streets. I'm really not. No. And what's, what's really crazy is that when I was working, especially in the entertainment business, as you well know, so many things happen in those late hours and early mornings, right? Yeah. But I just didn't participate. Wow. You know, so it's like, again, you got to train people to where you are. And in the early part of my career, it was really tough because I wasn't the one controlling the time.

You know, it's like if I wanted to go meet with the head of a label and they were like, come meet me for dinner at seven. Sometimes, you know, you just have like, all right, let me go do that. Yeah. You know, but eventually I started getting, you know, the courage to say, I can't do seven. Could we have lunch? And you would not, how many times people would be like, oh, okay, yeah, no problem. Because people are just, they're saying it per their schedule. Yeah.

But if you suggest a different time, sometimes they'll be like, okay. Or I'd be like, can I catch you before your first meeting? Can I come to have like coffee or like a breakfast or something like that? And people always will be like, sure, sure. Isn't that interesting? And it reminds me of something else that I was going to talk to you about because I think there's something really big that women miss. And successful women who have been successful, not just in business, successful in relationship or finding a good partner.

It's like setting the intention and setting your rules and kind of not bending them to me. Yes. Yes. There's something too that you have a story in your book about meeting your husband for the first time. Oh, yeah. And he tried to ask you for a date and you were like, you want to go on a date with me. Go read this book. Yeah. This is my favorite book.

That's right. And you were like, ha, ha, ha. Right. You'll never come back. They'll never come back. But in that moment, not only did he do it and then come back. Yeah. You kind of set the tone of what type of gestures.

you would expect for a man to be in your life. That is correct. Right? Absolutely. Absolutely. And so even in that, or even the women coming in, not coming into your office asking for money. Yeah. They're not setting the intention of what they feel like they deserve.

And it's not just in business. It's like in your personal, in your relationship. Yes. Yes. Yes. I mean, look, I don't remember who said it, but somebody was just like, you know, you got to teach people how to treat you. Yes. Like, that's, it works for everything.

It does work in business and it works in your personal life too. So yeah, I mean, I think for sure you have to let people meet you where you are. Don't come down to where they are. So yeah, so whether it's the business meeting that somebody's like, oh, let's go have dinner. And I'm like, no, I prefer lunch. And saying that even though I'm not the one in charge. Right. You know what I mean?

And how many times they will just agree. And then there you go. Now you have your thing. And so it's like the business person now they know that like, oh, Bow's only does. does lunch. And so they won't ask you to dinner. And that's okay because I want to be outside anyway. You know what I mean? Or yes, telling my late husband that like, look, I need you to go read this book if you want to have a conversation with me because I need understand where you are psychologically and whether or not you're even smart enough to keep up with me. You know? And even now,

my current fiance, like on our third date, when he asked me out, I was like, I'm going to be in Ghana. If you want to go out of date, you have to come there. And he got on a plane and came. You know what I mean, it's like, you got to put that there. And by the way, maybe they don't rise to the occasion. And you're like, nah, all right, maybe I'll give them another chance. I'm not even saying there's anything wrong with that. I'm just saying that like, girl, you know, don't change your plans. Yeah.

Or at least give yourself the opportunity to be operating and have everybody in your orbit operating at a level that works for you. Yeah, it works for you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because otherwise, it's actually not going to work. And again, that is why I feel like I'm so efficient in my 16 hours because I'm operating solely based on like what works for me. Yeah.

And yes, I will make exceptions when it's necessary, but believe me they are exceptions. Yeah. It is not the rule. No, I believe you. Oh, yeah. No, I totally believe. I tell you. I totally believe you.

I'm like, you know, so you know now it's like, let's not go for drinks. I am deeply inspired by your discipline. Yeah. I yearn to have that. I have this one thing I'm working on myself on right now because. Yes. I know it's the difference for me. Yeah.

I know getting up early, going to the gym, being this is something about sleep. Yeah, sleep is so good. I know it's really going to be a big difference in it. I just have it all the way shifted. Do you have an accountability partner? No. You need one? Yeah, you want to be it?

Yeah. You have time for that? Girl, I will. I'll put it on my calendar. What does that look like? Check in with Angie. What does that look like? Do you have one?

Oh, what, my calendar? No, an accountability partner. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for me? Like for my life? Oh, absolutely, yeah. What do they do? A number of things.

What is the role? Maybe this is my problem. I've never had, I've never hired. Exactly. Well, okay, so now the other trick is you got to have accountability partners that actually are going to do the thing that you want. You know what I mean? You can't just be one.

You can't just be the one for everything. Got it. You know what I mean? So people have certain, like, they have talents in certain areas, right? My accountability partner for the gym is my trainer. Oh, well, you pay him. Yeah. But like, but there are people who are able to get up and just go to.

to the gym. Without somebody, I can't do that. No, I need somebody who's going to yell at me, or I know that, like, if I'm five minutes late, they're going to be pissed and make me run an extra half mile. You know what I mean? So even though it's like, yes, I pay my trainer, he is my accountability partner. Got it. And that has to work. Yeah. Like, it doesn't work any other way. So I can just pay a trainer is what you're telling me. You could do that. But there are some people who like, they don't feel like they need a trainer because they don't want to pay the extra money. And they have discipline enough to get up and go to the gym and work out themselves. And I'm like, I don't have that. And so I do need him as an accountability.

partner. Or one of my girlfriends, she, oh my gosh, she's the, she is wonderful at self-care. You know, she's the one who's like, hey. Somebody we know or no. No, I don't think you know her. No, no, no. But she's great at self-care, like, meaning that she is going to, you know, do the meditation, the skin care, the massages that aren't just like, you know, like flighty, but it's like deep tissue. You know, she's the one who's going to call me on Sunday, you know, or maybe on Saturday I say, hey, look, you need it. Did you schedule like deep body work?

Because you need that, that acupuncture. Did you get it done? You know what I mean? Because I need somebody like that. Even though it's on my calendar, I'm going to need somebody to tell me that I've got to do it. You know? So there's just different people. Are you that for anybody?

Oh, yeah. A lot of people, right? Oh, yes, yes. You know what my big, my big trick, my big talent is budgeting. I'm really, really good at that. like money. I would imagine. Yeah.

And so I have quite a few friends that I've made budgets for. And we share this. Where have you been in my life? Because I need a budget and I need a wellness. I need a wellness accountability partner. It can be both. No, but for real. Like I will create the budget.

And you know, it's like, girl, you got to be honest though. I don't deal with it. You know what I mean? You got to tell me. It's like, hey, look, no, you don't want to say how much you spend on shopping. But you got to tell me. You don't want to tell me how much you spend on your liquor, but you got to tell me. And, you know, then I work it out.

And then we share the sheet and I can see what you're doing. You're a really good friend to your friends, aren't you? I am. Yeah, I love my friends, too. Yeah. Long-time friends, too. I was going to say, you must have chosen well. Oh, my gosh.

I have so many friends that I've known for decades, you know, that I still hold very, very close. That's amazing. It's such a, it's really such a blessing. But then they all fight because everybody thinks are my best friend. And I'm like, but there's like 12 of you. Wait, so where are all 12? So you're going to do a wedding? Oh, my God.

Are you going to ask me that question about the bridesmaids? Yes. Is that what you're going to say? It is a current issue that I have. It's a big problem. I was tapping in. I felt it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You could feel it. It's a big problem. Because there's so many of them. Are you kidding me? They have a group chat called the actual besties that they put me in because they get pissed off when I call somebody else a bestie. That's funny. Yeah.

And so they all expect to be in the wedding party. And I'm like, Mm. So wait, this is, first of all, your ability to not have like love trauma. Oh. I'm sure you have some. But it hasn't stifled you. It hasn't stopped you or paralyzed you from trying it again.

You mean like romantic love. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no. It's terrible. I've had to have a lot of therapy. Yeah. A lot of therapy.

So if you haven't. in her book, which you guys should, she had a lost young in life at 21, a boyfriend who took his own life. Yeah, that's so sad. And your storytelling around that was, oh, who was, you know what I felt that.

But you, even to the loss of that moment, Ben, right? His name's Ben. You still went and you still got married to another. And then the marriage was, you were separated, so that wasn't working. Then if that wasn't enough, then you lost. your husband. Yes. Yeah. And then you still get back on the horse. I know. Well,

some of it is being a deep romantic. You know, really, I really do believe in love. I love but also a lot of therapy. Yeah, but also is it scary? Oh, it's very scary. It's very scary. Yeah. Because I'm like, anything could happen. Yeah. You know what it's like, I've said it a million times, I'll say it again now, I don't want to be in the front row of the church for a funeral ever again. I've talked to God about it quite a bit, you know, that I just, I just don't,

I don't want to be in that pew. And then, gosh, I can't even believe I'm talking about this out loud, but I do hear God very clearly. And his response to me was like, so do you want to die first? And I was like, well, no, I didn't say that. Like, you want to go now? No, I still got things to do. You know, but like, it just, it sucks. Yeah. It is the worst.

It is awful. Yeah. And at the same time, I don't, I don't want to spend my life without love. Hmm. You know, like, it's such a beautiful thing. You just do it with the fear. Do it with the fear. Do it with the fear.

And hopefully some of the lessons. Yeah. You know, I know one thing for sure, given what I dealt with, with my husband in our separation, that I won't make those mistakes again. You know, I won't take the relationship for granted, you know, that I will fight for it in ways I didn't fight for my first marriage. And that's what makes me feel like, okay, let me do it again. Let me get back on the horse.

But how does that show up? Because I'm sure you're not the only woman who's dealt with loss and grief. I mean, you know, people deal with that all the time. Widows who are don't even know how to get back on the horse. Can't even imagine getting back on the horse. like are divorced and they were cheated on or betrayal in some other way, like how you trust somebody again? Yeah.

You know? And I actually do think that it's all seated from the same place is trust. You know, because I have to trust that this man won't die on me. Not because of his own doing, but just trust in general, right? Trust of God. Trust of the universe. Trust of medical care. And then

there's some people who have to trust that this person won't cheat on you. You know, it's like, look, I've had a boyfriend who had a baby on me. So there's that. I mean, there's, it's not a shit. Shit happens. Jesus.

You know? But the thing is that like, I feel like all of that, um, lack of trust is what then creates the bitterness. Yeah. And then draws up the walls. And so I have to also be very self-aware when I start to say things or behave in a way that is showing up because I don't trust you. So what do you say to a woman who's having a hard time getting back?

on the horse. Oh, God. First of all, get some therapy. Okay, you need professional help. You know, we like to talk about healing and go heal sis and all that and you think it's just a massage. It's not. You know, it's deep-rooted work.

Get a really great therapist. You know, and by the way, it's not like it needs to cost a lot of money. Just get somebody who gets you and talk to them. It could even be your pastor, you know, but just get some additional help so that you can work out the issues that you have. Because otherwise, there is no starting. There's no getting on the horse unless you truly have healed from the things

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on my new podcast, learn the hard way. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search, learn the hard way, and listen now. And then, I mean, the other thing, it sounds easy to say, but it's like, you gotta,

you gotta trust. Mm-hmm. You know, that's the thing that I'm working on, which is a... How's that going? It's going better. Okay, good. It is going better.

Yeah. You know, and that's why I, can also move forward in joy. You know, because otherwise I would be really terrified about the next steps in committing to somebody again in such a public way also. I know this is, you're doing this publicly now. Yeah. So again, all eyes.

Opinions. Oh, everybody has an opinion. How do you manage? I hate that. You hate it? I hate it so much. That's so honest. Most people would be like, I don't care, but I don't listen to people's opinion.

Oh, I care. Oh, I care. You know the comments? You read it. Oh, I'm responding. I mean, you know that cat? That's like, that's me. In the comments, constantly.

Because it gets on my nerves so much. I'm literally like, you don't know us. You don't know him. What's about? Red flags were. You know? So, yeah, I got to respond. But you don't let it in.

Because, you know, sometimes you could read something, a red flag. Somebody supposed, oh, there's a red flag of this. Sometimes outside could start. Can see something. No, no, it can seep in. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know how I deal with that is that I just talk about it. I'm really honest about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So actually, funny enough, I was talking to Keeley about that last night. Somebody had commented something else. It was like, piss me off and I was going to say blah, blah, blah, blah. And he was like, please, please don't. He was like, let it just be. Let it ride. You don't know, like, we don't know what's going on in their life.

Let it just be, you know? Because we know that's not true. And I'm like, oh, my. But still, they shouldn't say that kind of stuff. You don't know, not just be pissed. But it does help to be able to talk about it. You know, I think for me, what works is not holding things inside. Yeah.

You know, letting it stoop. Like, and while you might think like, oh, let me not go to my partner with that. I'm inspired by that. Yeah, it's like, let me not go to my partner about that. Let me not go to my kid about that. Let me not go to my friend about that. It's like, no, no, no, I'm going to just go. I'm going to all of them.

I'm going to all of them. You know, I'm like, hey, so they said, and this is how I feel. Yeah, and that's how I feel about it. Yeah. I'm pissed about it because I don't think it's true, but like, what do you think about it? You know, and then let's talk it out. And then you get it out. And then I get it out.

And then that way I'm not holding on to it either. That's so good. Yeah. I just definitely don't want to hold on to anything. You have that relationship with your daughter, too, as a mother. You mother that way as well. I mother that way, for sure. Yeah.

But that also came out of the grief of losing her dad. You know, like I, and again, I've been honest. to spot this before. So now I'm saying anything out of turn. But I was not the one who wanted to start a family. You know, Peter wanted the family. Then I was just like, and then you just die and leave me here? Like, you were supposed to be over here. Help me to raise this person. And she was four when he died. You know, and so now I'm looking at this child and I'm like, oh, shoot, like, I've still got high ambitions. You know, I still want to achieve in my career. But now I have the pressure of like, oh, God, now people are looking at me because I'm supposed to be this mom who

bakes cookies and takes it to the PTA meeting. I don't even like cookies like that. You know what I'm saying? And I don't like to watch the kids movies. I don't like Disneyland. It probably sound like a horrible person. But that's how, like, my relationship with my daughter, I think, became so forged, you know, because I was honest with her about a lot of things at four.

Which I know that people were like, oh, you know, you can't tell the kids all the truth and this, but I had a really, really great friend, Melissa Robinson, who was the one who said, you know, we should just tell Yale the truth. Like, always tell the truth. And also respecting her enough to hear the things that she wants to do that are important to her and honoring that, right? But also being like, hey, look, we've got to have some balance here. You know what I mean? Because it's not like every day you say something and then mommy drops everything and then does that. Like, it has to be really important. Like, if you want me at this basketball game, let's put it on the calendar.

Okay? And that was at four. That's like you're talking to your daughter. Yeah. I was like, you know, you need me to come to this meeting or this play or recital or whatever. Let's put it down. What's the date? Show me where your coach or the teacher said, you know, what was the date?

Let's look at that. And then let's put it. And so she would see that, like, I was intentional with putting her important things on my calendar and nothing would stop me from coming to the thing. But it wasn't every day. So yeah, I missed a lot of games. I missed a lot of recitals. Like I was traveling around ambitious, trying to get to the next level of my career. But if you ask her today, like, was your mom present? She'd be like, oh, yeah. Because I was there for all the stuff that she needed and that she wanted. And so for me, it's like, we can have every kind of conversation now because we've had

a decade of that. That's so good. Yeah. And, you know, You're super, she's what, 16? She's 16. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. How's she dealing with this newfound reality and.

Oh my gosh. Well, I told you, I don't take anybody's opinions about what I do. Yeah. But lay else. You know, and so I wasn't necessarily asking her permission, but I was informing her to see how she would feel about it. And also saying, like, I'll give you a choice if you want to participate. You know, because I could say like, hey, look, you can have me, but you can't have my kid. Yeah.

You know, like, I'll talk about all the. other stuff, but that is the, like, fourth rail can't do that. So she was very excited, though, which surprised me because we are very different in personality. Like, she's not a showman, you know, she's not the one who's like, you know, wants to be in the mix and in conversation. She's very thoughtful and quiet and will say the things that she says and mean it. You know what I mean?

So I was like who gets that from. So, but I've been shocked by how open that she's been. because we've had a lot of very serious conversations on the show. We talked about IVF, you know, we talked about obviously Keeley and getting married again. And she's had some very, very deep thoughts that I was like, but the camera's still rolling. You know what I mean? And are you okay with that?

Yeah. And, you know, just being like, hey, you're okay with saying that out loud? And she's like, yes, I'm fine. Because you're her mother. You say the thing. Yeah. So she's just taking it to another level. She's saying the thing on camera.

She's saying all the things. You don't. on camera. But it's been very because I feel like we can have those serious conversations and the reason why it comes across authentically is because that's how we talk to each other normally.

You were low-key kind of built to do this, I think. You're such a great fit. It kind of makes sense. All right, we have a couple of segments we got to do. I just gave me a little time check. I feel like we just started. I know. Are we not? Hey guys, you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price. And then a few months later it's like,

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Ready? We got a bowl. We got a voice note for you. We got things. It's segment, segment time. Are we doing voice note first? This is our voice note. What's the voice note? It's usually a fan or listener of the pod. We write who's coming by and they send you a note. They send you a vote.

voice notes, usually a question, a comment. Sometimes it's a, I love that. I don't know. A story or something or thank you. I don't know what this is. What do we got? Hi, Boz. My name is Stephen and I would love some help here.

My wife, she's an absolute beast at work and I am always telling her to kind of put her wins and her accomplishments out on social media, but she like suffers from imposter syndrome. She feels like not only does she not really belong, but she also doesn't want to like brag in people's

but also at the end of the day, like, I feel like she's missing out on a lot that what could be coming to her if she was louder about herself. So if you have any advice on good words of encouragement or even more like strategic points here, that would be super helpful. Thank you. Yes. What a nice thought. First of all. First of all, Stephen. Come on now.

Okay, now that's a good husband. That's a good man. The fact that his question is for his wife. For his wife. His girlfriend, wife, right? We don't know if her name is Savannah, but Savannah. It's a good man, Savannah. No, for real. He's great.

Yes. He's being so thoughtful about what's good for you and your future. Yes. Yeah. Okay, now, here's the answer for Savannah. We're just going to call her Savannah. You're so funny. The thing is, there's two very, very big points.

First, is about bragging, right? We very much misinterpret what is just your credits. with bragging. Because you shouldn't talk about the stuff that you didn't do. And that's what we rail against when somebody's telling us about their accomplishments and it just seems so large

because usually it's like, you didn't do all that. And we can tell. So it's like you're talking about the specific things that you did within the larger wind. And that's what actually helps with not only your credibility,

but the brand so that people know that like, ah, Savannah did this. She's good at that. You know, it's like, even for me, like, I'm not great at everything, but I'm exceptional at these few things. And that's what I take credit for. And that's what I talk about so that people know that like, oh, if you want Bose to do X, Y, and Z, she could do that. Nobody's going to call me to be the data queen. I'm not that person.

You know, you want me to talk to you about why Tupac is important? Fantastic, I got you. You know, you want me to tell you why the NFL is important to this moment in time in sports? I will tell you that. You know, like I understand pop culture and can tell you all the things you need to do. And by the way, I backed it up with experiences and with programs that I've created. And so that's what Savannah needs to do. It's like you're just talking about the things that you're good at.

And so talking about it publicly just takes it to the next level. Because you're actually talking about the specific role that you played in X, Y, and Z thing. And that is important to do. Next, the imposter syndrome thing, that really gets on my nerves. because I have used this example before about physics, right, that matter is anything. It can be liquid, it can be something solid. But matter is made up of molecules. And each molecule is really important.

And so you take a molecule out of a matter and the matter changes. You add a molecule into the matter and the matter changes. That is physics. It's science. You are the molecule inside every matter. So whether that is a company, it's the school, it's your softball team, you are the molecule. And so why would you not consider that you are important in the room? You leave that room and it changes because you're not in there.

And so therefore all of the experiences you have, all of the history, the knowledge, etc., is important to change in the room. Why else are you there? And something brought you there. And then let's go to the math of it all, right? If you go back 12 generations, that's like 12,000 people that it took to create you individual

to be in this room. How dare you now? How dare you? Walk in there with the 4,000. Yeah. They're really important. And they contributed to you being in the room. So, sis, Savannah girl, listen.

Girl. Okay? You are the molecule and you change the matter every room that you're in. So don't have imposter syndrome. You belong in the room. Those 4,000 people,

work so you could be there. So act like it. Live out loud, right? Hell yeah. Good job, Stephen. Yay, Stephen. Hey, guys. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want? And I could really make a difference. Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge,

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All right, now this is our IRL bowl. Okay. In real life bowl. Okay. Filled with questions. Okay. And I just pick one? Yeah.

What is your biggest challenge in this life? Oh, my goodness. What is the biggest challenge in this life. For you. Everybody's is different, I think. Everybody's walk is different.

You know, what is the biggest challenge? What is your biggest challenge? My biggest challenge. What is my biggest challenge? That's a very, very hard question. It is. Let me think what mine is.

Whenever somebody can't, whenever a hard question, I'm like, shit, could I answer that if it was in the bowl? Because the thing is that, like, look, I don't have a problem with time because I really enjoy. my time. And I'm not scared of like how much time I have. Really? No. Like I used to be scared

a lot of like death and you know, as I said, I told God I don't want to go anytime soon. But the way that I combat that is that I want every day to be really, really large. You know, not that like I'm climbing Everest or anything like that, but meaning that like I'm doing exactly what I want to do like every day. Urgently. Urgently. You know, like nobody's going to start. me from doing the thing I want to do. And in that way, I feel like I will come to the end of my life, regardless of when it is. And people will be like, God damn, that girl lived. You know, they're going to be like, she had a big life because I lived it exactly how I wanted to.

I'm not putting anything off. I'm not like, oh, retirement, and then I'll do X, Y, and Z thing. I'm going to do right now. Because I don't know if I'm going to get there. So why not do it? So it's not like a fear of death. It's a motivator for me. So I don't know about the challenge one.

That was a hard question. I mean, that was a great answer. It doesn't have to be. There's no rules. There's no rules. Oh, fantastic, because I don't like rules, no way. There's no rules. You talked about your connection to God and hearing his voice.

Yeah. What does that sound like? And what do you ask for most? What do you pray for most, actually? I pray for discernment all of the time. I just want to know, like, give me the vibes. You know, whether there's people or an opportunity or whatever, even over email. Give me the vibes.

like, Lord, just let me know this person, not for you. And I don't care if the person has introduced to me by Oprah. I'm like, I don't want that person. I don't like them. The vibes is not right. You know, so.

Is that how your prayer goes? Like you say, give me the vibes? You don't say those words. Oh, no, I do. Oh, my God. Me and God are homies, man. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I don't. Dear God, give me the vibes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, no. And that's other thing. I don't know why people don't talk to God just normal. I know, why do you have to, like, do a thing? Why do you have to do all the things? Well, it's to do with worship, I think. No.

It's to do it worship. No, God knows us. You can talk normal. I talk normal. And I also get upset when something doesn't happen the way I want. Oh, do you? Yeah, you don't? Not really.

Eyes open. Yeah. Talking to God. You know what I mean, it probably, like if you had a camera there, it probably looks nuts. But, you know, but I'm usually talking. Like, that's what I'm doing in that hour in the morning. I'm talking. I'm talking.

I'm writing things down. I'm like, oh, God, you know what? forgot to ask you, could you get this person out of my life? Like, no, I do that all the time. Or like, you know, we'll be in the car on the way here. I'd be like, oh, God. You know, I forgot to say that I need more money for this wedding. So can I have another brand deal?

Because I need one that's going to pay for this thing. And you're just eyes open, whoever's in the room. It doesn't matter. Talking a friend of people. Oh, yeah, yeah, I don't. Because people just think that I'm saying like, oh, God, like you would say, oh, God. But I'm actually being, I'm being legit. like you're actually talking to him. I'm actually talking to God. Yeah, yeah. God is always around.

People think you're being like, not literal. Yeah, no, but I'm being literal. I'm actually talking to God in that moment. Do you talk to him all the time? All of the time. All day? All day. Wow. Yeah, all day. Maybe that's good because it's, if you have a routine, listen, nobody's way is wrong. Yeah. But if you have a thing where you have to remove yourself, get quiet. Yeah. Whether it's your knees or however you pray. But if, but if then you're limited in time. Yeah, exactly. If you're talking to it all day. If you're talking all the time, then you don't feel limited. But I do think it's important for me as a first thing in the morning, that first upon waking that I am in some sort of communication with God.

That's really, really important to me. And a lot of times, I mean, I don't know if this happens to you, but like I wake up with things on my mind, you know? And so then I know immediately I got to go to God, you know, because whatever is on my mind, like if it's fear or there's some trepidation or like some. big hope. I'm like, oh, God, you got to make this work. You know, and then I'll follow up with like, but only if you want it to, though, because I don't know what else you got. Only if it's your will. Okay, yes. Because I might be wanting this thing, but if I shouldn't have it, don't let me have it. I don't want it. Okay, I'm not asking you just give it to me, give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. We even pray similar. That's so funny.

RP, you do that too. I really want this. But only if you want it for me. Because I don't want it. Because I don't want it. Like, if it's going to mess me up, don't give it to me. And even if I don't understand it, I try. That's right. I trust you. Oh, that part too. Yeah. You got to trust. Yeah, yeah. God's got your back. For sure. Yeah. That's so good. All right. I have some IRS for you. Okay. What do you want people to learn about you in real life? Ooh. To learn one thing from your life.

Then I really don't take myself that seriously. Really? Like, yeah. Like, I really love the fun. I love the fun in life. If you were the leader of the world, those, the whole world. Yes. what would be the first thing that you would do? Redraw the maps. This is the first matter of business.

You've thought this through before. I have. I have. What does it look like? I think it just says it's such a disservice. The maps make us feel like we are beholden to a certain group of people and then it keeps out other people. That's why I feel like the problems with racism and immigration and all these things stem from.

Maps that were drawn by white men in a room together. I get rid of all the maps. I'm redrawing them. So what would your world look like? Oh, gosh. Well, probably, yeah, I just circling by language or something like that. You know what I mean? Like interest types.

Everybody who loves the color red, over there. If you love greens, over there. Now I'd redraw the maps. That's pretty good. It's a good rule of business. What should people care less about? Well, I mean, this is going to sound so silly, but they should care less about other people's opinions.

Like that affect their life. You know, don't make the decision based on what your mom thinks. Yeah. Or your best friend even. Yeah. Yeah. Listening to that little voice like you say. They have no idea what's right for you.

They're talking usually out of their fear for your life. In real life. Last piece of great advice someone has given you. The last piece of great advice. Oof. That's hard because I really don't take people's advice. Okay. That's good.

That's your answer. That's your answer. Yeah. All right. Life and love in real life. Oh, yes. What is something you absolutely need and require in a partner? Oh, I need affection.

Like physical touch, you know? I need you to squeeze me, slap my butt as I walk by, that kind of thing. If you had a rule book about love, what would be like in bold? Like, what is your rule? One of your rules. Talk to me nice. Okay. Now I was saying, like, right? Words lead to action. Yeah. It sounds to be nice. Okay, love and friendships. What's the bet? Because you have so many best friends.

Oh my God. Don't get me in trouble now. No, you don't have to name your favorite. You don't have to name your favorite. But what is what is a quality that is necessary to have a good friend, to be a good friend? I think, um, presence. Like, you know, being present and doesn't need to be like in person, but like the check-in, the, the, the, You know, it's like, if you see something about me online, you need to call me. And be like, girl, you want me go beat them up? Yes, bitch. Go over there. You know what I mean? Be present in my life. In real life, how important is money to you?

Very important. Yeah. I mean, people say it's like, you know, money can't buy your happiness. Really? I beg to differ. Give me the money, baby. Yeah, no. What are you talking about?

That's so funny. But you were always kind of happy, no? Yeah, but money made me happier. It did. Okay. Did I get to go wherever I want, do what I want? Yeah, money's good. You're into it.

Yeah, very much. Give me more, matter of fact. What is a habit that you are proud of? Oh, my discipline. What is the habit that you're trying to break? Ooh, some of my spontaneity. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, because, you know what? Okay, so this is a longer story, but I'll cut it short, which is that my dad is notoriety. spontaneously spontaneous, and it's spontaneous in a big way, like, meaning like, he would, you know, see another job he wanted and then move us across continents, you know, that kind of thing. And, or, like, you know, go buy something that was expensive that we couldn't afford, you know, to make my mom very upset and put all the rest of us in, like, challenges.

I hated that behavior. But sometimes I find that in myself, that, like, if I really fixate on something, and then I'm like, oh, by any means I'm going to go do that thing. Sometimes it's worked out. Sometimes it hasn't. It's probably pushed you, though. It has. It has.

So that's why, you know, I'm like, sometimes I'm like, all right, let me just make sure it's countered with good sense. Yeah. And what is left for you? Like, what is the, I don't know, what is left for you to, what mountain are you trying to climb right now? Now, see, now that's the key. You know, I don't make, I don't make plans. I don't make, like, one year plans, five year plans, 10 years. I don't make any of those.

No, no, no. Because I just feel like the world is my oyster. and like big things are coming. I just feel so limited if I was like, oh, you know what? This is what I want to do in the next 10 years. Why? No plan.

Zero plans. No. I don't have a plan for this year. Or like people make resolutions and the things they want to do. And I don't really have that. Because I just feel like the world is the opportunities are out there and they're just going to be mine. So come on. Bring it.

Oh, there's my favorite question. Look at it's poking right out. Oh, is it? Before you leave, this is my favorite question. It is my favorite question. It is my favorite question. Okay. So we'll go out with this.

Okay. Before we go out with this, was there anything on your heart today or anything that you? No, I just was so happy to be here. Me too. I had so much fun with you. I was so glad to come. I could, we could do a, like if we did a podcast together, I feel like we would have something to talk about every single day. Every single day we would have something to talk about, okay?

People would be sick of us, Moose. Oh, my God. You're so sick of us. Anyway, I would love you to come back. I would love to. I would love to. We have a lot to talk about. Okay, here's your question.

You're fine. You want me read or you read it? Yeah, I'll read it. No, you read it. Okay. Last question. Oh, if God were to text you right now. What would God say?

Oh, what would God say? Take your time with it, Bose. Take your time. If God were to text me right now, Hmm. Let it come. I think God would say it's going to be all right. That's going to be all right.

Yeah. Simple. Yeah. Like in that half faith, type, you know, because I'm often talking about things that I know if I just have faith, it'd be all right. And so I think God would be like, it'll be all right. It is a chill out.

Chill out, Bose, it's okay. You would throw it chill out in there. Oh, absolutely God will tell me to chill out. Like, relax, relax. So it's going to be all right. And that's what God would text me. Aw. I'm going to remember that.

That's a good one. I love that for you. You're amazing. Thank you. Yes, to Bose in real life. This is Bose in real life. Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comments,

and check out all of the other episodes we have on Andrew Martinez, IRO podcast. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman helped make you funnier. This week, my guest.

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