Joe and Jada - Angie Martinez IRL - Durand Bernarr: How To Grow Without Losing Who You Are
Episode Date: July 1, 2026Grammy-winning recording artist, Durand Bernarr joins Angie Martinez to talk about "making it" as an independent artist, what it was like to go viral after winning a Grammy, and how he balances his hu...mor with his drive to succeed. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt...All lines provided by Hard Rock BetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Like, you never felt victim to, like,
not losing yourself so much,
but just bending in a way that felt uncomfortable for you.
Well, yes,
bending because I'm flexible. But to gain your flexibility, you have to stretch. You have to
stretch yourself in areas that, that's why I said, there's a fine line between pressure and pain.
Pressure you can lean into. But if it's painful, back off.
Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Today's episode is brought to you by Boozmobile.
Despite 20 years of music industry experience under his belt, it still kind of feels like you are
just getting started. This Cleveland,
singer earlier this year won his first Grammy with an amazing viral moment to follow.
He's an advocate for authenticity, a champion for creativity.
And one of the funniest musicians you can follow on social media, please welcome to Ram Bernal.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
To RRL in real life.
Aha.
So happy you're here.
I'm so glad to see you.
I feel like you're one of those people that I feel like we know each other and we've hung out,
but we have not ever.
I know, right?
That's the beauty of just being online so much.
It's like, didn't I just see you?
You saw me on the timeline, but we need to see each other in real life.
But you know what?
I'm probably not the only person that feels like that.
People probably feel like that about you in general, right?
Because you have a spirit that you kind of like want to be around and want to, I feel like people probably say that to you all the time.
It's right.
You know, it's, it's, I learned early on that people do enjoy being around people that have a positive attitude that, you know, make you kind of forget what's going on.
Yeah.
We can just laugh for a minute, you know.
And I don't take anything serious unless it requires.
require severity. And that's a Marchion and Brocious quote.
Okay. I heard your quotes at the beginning of the pod.
You know, I've got to state the source. Are you always like that? Are you always in good spirits? Are you always positive?
Can you be moody sometimes? Can you be? Absolutely. I think it's more so when I'm stepping outside, it's like, okay, we're charged and we're on. And then there are days when, you know, we need to have our time.
Stay inside. Yeah, because I'm not, I'm not bouncing off the walls all the time. And I think, you know, when you're
you brand a portion of your personality,
people are expecting that all the time.
And so I try to make sure that they know,
like, yeah, there's time for that.
And then it's also like, I'm chilling, y'all.
I'm high, leave me alone.
You know, like, I'm in here with a shysty on and a hat.
I'm not trying to be seen, you know.
Is that, does that require any, like,
you know, because when people expect you to be one thing,
I don't know, sometimes that makes people have to perform
or being almost like a version of themselves all the time.
I'll say this is, there's a difference between people who have to put it on and then turn it on.
See, I got to turn it on because it's in me.
It hasn't gone nowhere.
Right.
It's not like a fake persona.
Yeah, no, I might have to rev it up, but it's, this is genuinely me.
What is that?
Is it energy?
Is it personality?
What is that?
Those two plus whimsical.
You know, we need whimsy in our lives.
I know, I need more whimsy.
I really do.
And also, I am very much in touch with my inner child.
And there's a fine line between being childish and being a kid at heart.
One of them you can turn on the other when you can't.
And so I am, that's the light that people see, the rambunctiousness.
I'm very much a textbook rascal.
Oh, I love that.
Oh, absolutely.
I love that.
Bugs Bunny is my spirit animal.
So just like when I saw that lady steeped in worship with her eyes closed,
front row at the blue note, I said, oh, this is an opportunity for something to take place.
And you see it, you see me when I make the moment and I go over and I just, you know,
I sing an exclamation point right about me.
Yeah, and scare the hell out of it.
Yes, yes.
It's just I can't help it.
It's so good.
What were you like as a kid?
So if this is you now, whimsical and childlike and.
fun and free
and all that. What is the child
version of you?
Think me without a publicist.
I don't care. Like
no filter and it's like, oh my God.
Like I'll, I'll,
ooh, yeah, 17,
18, 18, 19 year old Duran
was definitely unhinged.
But still
but still fun.
Like I'm
I'm a, I'm the fun
person. I can absolutely
be shady. However, I've never
been a mean girl. Really?
No. Okay, so what's the difference between
shady and mean girl? Shade
is in light fun.
You know, I think when you are being a mean girl,
you are genuinely trying to be malicious.
It's the Regina George thing, you know.
People miss this. It's a line,
people miss that line. Yeah, absolutely.
What about Little, Little Durant?
Like, what is the childhood like? Oh, gosh.
I know. That's a lot, but... Yeah, no,
I've always been a very inquisitive child. I've always
asked questions. My mother always told me
if you don't know something, ask questions.
And nothing was ever off limits, not even her.
What do you mean?
That you ask about her?
Like, I don't know.
I meant, I've been like maybe four years old.
And we were at the house and she was giving me, you know, a list of things she needed me to do.
You know, I need you to, you know, pick up your room, you know, take this downstairs, you know, vacuum.
I like to vacuum.
And after she gave me the things and I was like, okay.
And what are you going to be doing?
Genuinely out of curiosity.
because I know what I'm doing, what are you going to be doing?
And she's like, if you knew what I had to do to make your head fall off,
now please go clean your room, you know.
But I wasn't raised with the because I said so parent.
You know, she actually explained things to me as the homie Chris so eloquently put.
She did not put your humanity on probation just because you were new here.
Ooh, that's so good.
Yeah.
And one thing that she always said ever since I could conceptualize language was,
I am absolutely your friend, just not one of your little ones.
Well, Mom.
However, I'm absolutely your friend because she needs me to be able to talk to her.
Were you a spoiled child?
No.
And the reason I say that was because not with Bernard Sr. living in the house.
Like there was no you act in any kind of way and there would be no repercussions or any kind of consequences.
However, when you have a child in the house that is not stirring up any trouble, not breaking shit, not running away, not doing all that stuff, if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, give me my stuff.
Give me what I ask for, you know.
So, and I think, especially with my parents having friends in church and their work life who their children were, you know, getting.
pregnant at 16 and, you know, running away,
getting in trouble with the law,
to stand the third.
And they were still struggling with the fact
that, you know, I had an attraction for Bowers.
And while my mother more so did the firm suggestions of,
you know, let's feed the good wolf, not the bad wolf.
You know, it was never, nobody ever condemned me to hell,
but it was just that gentle but firm, like, let's come
here and do this, you know, because we want, we want God's best, you know. And I think, I think
them being surrounded by their, their, their peers with children who were all over the place
that really made them grateful for all the things that I wasn't and really started to focus on
the things that I was doing that they could be proud of. And yeah, we all, we, all three of us had to,
collectively grow on our own as well as together.
And I'll say with me being the only one that got into therapy,
like professional, I say we did pretty good.
You did amazing.
You know, so funny, I always hear you talk, you just talk so well,
you know, you speak so highly of your parents.
Even the way you talk about your mom,
you're not your first friend,
and they've been so supportive and you've learned so much.
The fact that they struggled with that moment
as you as a child was surprising to me.
I don't know why I just thought it was always a warm,
and welcoming situation.
No, it was, and I think.
Because the church is probably
Yeah, yeah. And you know, you have folks that feel like,
well, you know, we didn't pray enough or, you know,
I should have had you doing this or doing that.
It was always there, you know.
I asked because I have a friend who's
in the middle of trying to figure out
how to manage your child and a father
who's not all the way as understanding.
And so, you know, I pray for them.
And I offer my advice, but it's sometimes I'm like, you know, what is the way?
How do you pour into a child or how do you manage a family when not everybody is on board?
So this is what I have to, you know, tell people is that there's a, there's a fine line between your relatives and your family.
Your relatives are who you share blood with.
And also that has nothing to do with you, you know, because at the end of the day, they are just people.
Yeah.
And your family are people that have, you know, you have created your bond with that embrace you.
You know, they don't have to accept anything because acceptance requires permission.
Or acceptance acts as if there's something that's wrong.
Yeah.
Or you need my approval.
Yes.
And it's like, well, no, I don't need your approval to be myself.
Yeah.
You know, embrace me.
Word.
And it was.
But your parents did.
Yes, yes.
No, they collectively were able to, me and my dad had our come to Jesus moment maybe.
there were a couple of different moments.
14, 16, 19.
I'll say one of those.
Oh, more than one.
Yeah.
That's good to know.
People probably think they just get it right one time.
Oh, yeah, no, no.
That's one trick.
Yeah, no.
The 14 was when I had to tell him,
hey, I'm not afraid of you anymore.
And that whooping thing, we're going to stop that.
Yes.
How did that go over?
You know what?
I'm so grateful that I was who I was at that time
and my father was who he was at that time
where he genuinely heard me.
I felt like he, because I did not react in the way that he thought of,
I said that very calmly, didn't raise my voice.
And he thought that he was going to get a rise out.
I'd be like, oh, yeah, well, let's go then.
And I'm like, nobody's about to tusset with you, sir.
This is not even a fair fight.
Like, no, I'm just, I'm letting you know what is okay and what is not okay
because you taught me to stand up for myself.
And so now it's time for me to use those tools that you gave to me.
I guess so.
No, not against.
Yeah, not against, but just you.
And so that was a, I feel that was a level of respect that he, that I received from him.
And then the second time was 16, I was around when we were on tour, we're Earth, One and Fire.
And I explained to him, I felt like he might have been projecting or pushing his ideologies and his feelings onto me, or it would be like, something as simple as,
y'all saw that I was looking at some material on the family computer and you want to insert well you was looking at girls too right I mean and it's like I mean the pop-up ass that I was trying to move out the way so I can see the nickels but um so there was that was that little bum and I was like well no like that's not and then 19 was the conversation where he unsolicited unsolicited uncied
unsolicited, apologized for any eras that, you know, and he specifically said, I really wish I would have just talked to you more instead of just going to whoop on you, you know.
What does that do to a young boy when a grown, when your father apologizes to you?
If my father can apologize, nobody else is exempt. We're talking about somebody that was born in 1958, you know, and.
And he had to learn patience.
He had to learn how to properly love me.
You know, it's one thing to just be loving, but there's ways in which do we have to be loved and handled.
And while there is a teacher-student relationship as far as the parent and the child, the child is also teaching the parent as well.
And so when we can at least humanize the children, because a lot of times people don't view children as people.
They view them as a maid.
They view them as a co-parent that they're also telling.
A small version of themselves.
Yeah, a small brand.
And first of all, you're not that tight for somebody to be a many-you.
Right.
You are not tight at all.
Tomasa, my legacy.
What legacy?
You ain't even got no insurance.
They got no 401K.
Where's your life policy?
What are you passing down besides trauma in an empty gas tank?
So, yeah, it's just, I'm so grateful that I've had the father that I've had.
And not only that, he's been a father to so many of my friends and other people, you know, where it's like somebody was like, man, your dad gives the best hugs.
I need another one.
You know, just it's so I get it, you know.
You're lucky.
Man, fortunate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, and not for nothing, I would actually be friends with my parents if they weren't my parents.
You like them?
I like them.
I actually like them.
They're fun.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah. Your mom was so cute when you were doing your Grammy speeches. She just looked like she enjoys you so much.
If she could have got down on the floor and kicked her feet up with me, knowing that we'd had to stop the show for 30 minutes to stretch her up out of it, she would have.
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Do you ever think, are you going to be a parent?
Do you want to have kids and do a family?
So I used to want children.
No more?
I did.
I used to want children.
And I got us, I got us a dog, a beagle in 2013.
team spondy st thermostat rest his soul and um i realized then i was like oh wow i am not going to be a parent
this dog alone is rearranging my whole shit wow and i just it it clicked right then and there
i'm like damn i'm not and i would and my mother has told me you would be an amazing father
you absolutely would and i know i would it's just the sacrifice
that it would take.
First of all, I'd have to be ready to go to prison
at any given time.
Yes.
I've already seen Oz.
I wouldn't last five minutes.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
Not in Oz and not on the football field.
Nope.
Nope.
And so I also realize, too,
you know, it takes a village to raise a child
and there's more,
it's not just the mom and dad.
It's not just the aunts.
It's the people that are child-free
that are in the village
that are there to assist.
And my favorite kind of children are the kind that I can give back.
Oh, that's my jam right there.
Yes.
That's really self-ful.
I wish everyone could be that self-aware.
Because some people want it to fill a hole or whatever,
but they don't realize it is literally the biggest, like,
you have to make the biggest sacrifices of anything in your life.
And I already don't get enough sleep and rest as it is.
Yeah, I get that.
So that's why I said when I got the dog and he'll be ringing up at 5 o'clock in the morning
to muscle, whoa, whoa.
And also, my career is my
child. You love your career.
I mean, I do, however, it is still
my child. Like, there are times
where I have to get up and I don't want to
get up. I have to turn it on when I
don't want to turn it on, but I have to show up.
Yeah. So that's just for
this. Imagine if it was an actual person
that was depending on me.
Wait, what was the thing we were saying
when you walked in about work?
Oh, yes. Being in this business,
it is glamorized.
customer service.
Glamarized customer service.
You have to love it.
Just like being a teacher,
just like working with the elderly.
You have to love what it is that you do.
But do you think of your career and your gift,
I guess it's two things,
but your gift or your career,
do you think of it as service?
The career for sure.
I feel like my gift,
that's innately for me to exist in.
And then, however,
I get to share it.
You know, that's, you know, but sometimes you're, you need to,
sometimes you need to use your gift on you.
Mm. You know?
How do you use your gift on you?
Give me an example.
Some songs are auditory journal entries.
You know, not everything needs to be.
So it's like therapy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it doesn't need to be for public consumption.
And there are plenty of conversations and things that I would love to share.
But also it's just we don't need to do it.
that. We, y'all
need to bring back diaries.
You're talking too much.
Your personal on with a little lock.
Okay, with the lock. Come on with a lock.
Okay, so my first journal ever
had a lock on it and it had bugs bunny
on the front. Of course it did. Yes.
2000. That was the first journal entry.
Yes.
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Keith Giamanka seemed like a mild-mannered suburban dad,
but secretly, he became someone else,
a master of disguise who went on a crime spree.
At the time, did it seem like a crazy idea?
It seemed very crazy,
but I felt so desperate that I felt it was the quickest, easiest way out.
Did you allow yourself to think about how it could go
wrong on what that might look like.
No, I didn't want to manifest that.
I was trying to manifest
success.
Every family has its secrets.
But what happens when you discover
that your dad has been living
a double life? That is not
the look of an innocent man.
This is going to change my life
and my family dynamic forever
because everything that had
existed prior in my reality
is now untrue.
Listen to deep cover
the family man on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts
you're right because people share a little too much sometimes there's a certain things no seriously
Angie I'll tell you 92% of the time on my mom my own business 92% that other 8% just makes
this way across my desk why do I know this I knew a lot of that 8% is strong
why is it so funny I'm just learning shit that gets my will but why are you so funny
Why are you so funny?
Have you always been this funny?
And why are you so funny?
And you know, usually funny doesn't come with also this extraordinary, like, musical gift at the same time.
Having both together and you're not afraid to let them overlap.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes people be so serious about their singing and their craft.
Jamie Fox.
Well, Jamie Fox says it.
He's another one who just as funny as well as he can sing and acts and can do impersonations too.
Like, his voice is an instrument.
Yeah.
And so I would like to say that I'm a, I'm definitely come from that.
I also love Bo Burnham.
Mm-hmm.
And, I mean, I love Cat Williams.
Bruce Bruce, Arnaz-J.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah.
Ricky Smiley.
Did I say?
Sherlock Wood, Monique.
I mean, just comedians, period.
It's.
What is it about the comedy side of it that does it for you?
I love to laugh.
I love to make people laugh
because it is natural medicine
it is literally massaging your insides
and sending oxygen to your bloodstream
it is literally adding seconds and minutes
to your life
so yeah give me a reason to laugh
right unless ain't shit funny
oh he he hell
when is it not funny
I was going to say when
at my expense, but there have been some funny shit that has happened at my expense.
Falling, tripping, bumping and stuff.
Maybe one time I was doing a stage production and I'm going to go hit this note and I cracked.
Oh, my God.
And it was one of those.
You cracked?
Oh, yeah.
I've never seen you cracked.
I know, right?
What note was it?
It was the glories of his righteous that.
Nets.
Yeah.
Yes.
I don't know what the fuck that was.
And the dancer's on stage like, ooh, Duran, baby.
I'm like, y'all don't hear that.
How do you receive that when it happens?
Are you a mess?
Are you angry?
Are you freaking out?
No, you just keep going.
Yeah, you just keep going.
I don't take anything to say.
First of all, especially when you're performing live, all of this is live.
Shit happens.
You know what I'm saying?
Y'all know I can sing.
Yeah.
When you're in the studio, as Erica said, you're perfecting the moment.
When you're performing live, you're creating the moment.
I love that.
Can we talk about this Grammy moment for a second?
Because it was so beautiful.
It was so, I think people who did, people who love you felt the joy.
And I don't know, you just shared that moment with everybody with such freedom and just laughs and the whole thing.
And then somebody who maybe didn't know you was like, well, who is that?
Yeah.
Like it was just one of those moments that's just like electric and even maybe bigger than even you could have imagined that moment to be.
Did you feel like that about it?
I, the first thing I was thinking of was,
I got these open back meals on and I'm running at a slant downward.
Oh God.
Oh God.
I just, but I just had to, my toes was like this.
God wouldn't do you like.
Okay.
I was ready to tumble because again, I fall in my fall.
So we were just gonna roll back up.
It was at that, in that moment it was about me.
As soon as it was over, it was about everybody else.
Like, it was about all of the independent artists who have been out here for years hustling, doing it by themselves.
This was for every artist who was told, you know, you're doing too much.
You need to tone it down.
Nobody's going to listen to you.
Nobody's going to pay attention to you while you acting like this, why you doing this.
And it was just very much a big...
Mm-hmm.
What was that?
Mm-hmm.
Because 20 years is a not.
a nice chunk of time to be doing something.
And even within that, I'll say with at my, I'll say my, almost my 10 year mark, I was feeling like, am I even, what am I doing?
You know.
Oh, you have a doubt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was when I moved out to LA.
Wow.
Because I got into Uber and lifting.
You know, I was doing that on the side.
And this is already, you have music out.
People with fans.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But this was also, this was before Sam's vibe.
This was before Ketranada.
So those first four years out in L.A.
When I moved out there in 2015, productive.
However, also you can get caught up in, like I said, the cycle of the hustle.
And then you're so focused on trying to make sure you can pay rent and you can do all this.
And then you have a little bit of time to work on your art and what makes you happy.
and, you know, so it wasn't until 20, yeah, end of 2015, I started to have assistance, you know,
bringing other people in, you know, because I was doing all of my recording by myself,
writing by myself, arranging by myself.
Wow.
And so once I started bringing other people in, that's when things started to shift and started
to make noise.
And I'm just grateful that I was in a position where I was open.
to it because I know
I don't have all the answers.
You know, and I tell people that
anytime we go into sessions, like, look, y'all got
the plaques, I don't. So
I'm the mannequin.
Put whatever your ideas
are, like, put it on me, and let's see
how I go. And also,
me liking the
record doesn't necessarily mean I have to
that's not
a foundational thing, you know,
because a lot of people's biggest
records they weren't feeling, but it got them to where they needed to go.
You know, so yeah, that's been, it's been a, it's been a wild ride, but I've been open.
It's just the openness, you know.
I think about, I was thinking about that you said, you know, we've heard you tell a story
about how like the year before you didn't win and you didn't think you was going to win,
so he was in the back and you ran up.
And then I thought to myself, I wonder what that felt like for you.
Somebody I've been independent for so long, grinded for so long, then getting nominated,
than not winning.
Like, you joke about it now.
Like, I didn't think I was in the wins
so I was in the back, but I'm like,
but did that, was that weighing on you?
Did you feel?
I did not want to feel another layer of disappointment
because it was something that I absolutely felt
that was out of my control.
You know, I, even up into that point,
I felt like, I don't know if I did enough, you know,
groundwork for people to know what's going on.
so that they could vote for me or they could know that I have, you know, material out.
So it was just, and also, too, with, you know, Avery Sunshine,
she won in my category the year before her in, no worries.
And she was asking me, like, have you written your speech yet?
And I was like, I haven't.
You know, she was like, please write your speech.
She said, I was up here trying to thank who I needed to because I didn't,
because I didn't think that I was.
People were telling me you're not going to win.
And I just didn't want to write another heartfelt speech from my heart that the world was not going to hear.
So that's why I was like, I'm not going to write it and I'm going to sit in the back.
And right before we left to go to the theater is when I finished writing my speech.
Wow.
And still sat in the back because I'm just like.
Just in case.
Just in case.
I want to ease out.
But me, but me counting myself out, even in the slightest, ended up being a very,
viral moment.
It was so good.
It ended up working on my family.
But that moment, those moments of not, of the moment of not winning in that feeling,
it didn't make you bitter, though, right?
Because you never.
I was still tender.
I was still tender about it because we also have to go back to 2020, 2020, end of 2020.
That was the first time you got.
That was the first time.
No, no, no.
That was the first time that I was on a project as a feature that won a Grammy.
was Ketranata's Bubba album.
I did Freefall.
And I got a call from a friend saying,
oh, bitch, you got a Grammy too because you're a feature on the album.
You get a Grammy too.
And then there were other artists on the album, you know,
talking about, oh, we get a Grammy, we got this.
They're making videos.
I made a video.
I'm brushing my Grammy Award with her teeth, bitch.
I'm going to be doing an artist.
And then a homegirl of mine who worked on the board.
Oh, God. This is going to end bad.
Baby.
She was like, oh, friend, you got a moment.
And so.
Hey, Brittany.
Baby, she was like, so friend.
So because you need to put in 51% or more into the entire body of work to receive the hardware, you receive a participation certificate.
Oh, no.
So I went back online and I explained everybody like, actually, y'all, I,
I don't get a Grammy.
Like, this is what, you know what I'm saying, friends, you know.
And then there was the, well, you still a Grammy and won't.
You still a winner to me.
It's like, come on, y'all.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Please.
It's okay.
You know what I'm saying?
It's okay.
Like, we didn't know.
So there was a little bit of that.
People love you, though.
How sweet is that?
Yeah, no.
And I really appreciated that.
You know, it's just I don't think they understood that because I'm my parents only baby and I was
homeschooled.
I never had to do competition.
You know, I wasn't in.
sports and all the kind of stuff,
it's always been about me.
I'm the winner. You know, I'm the winner.
I win everything. I'm the beginning and the end, okay? The first
end of the, like, what are we talking about?
So to go through that on a
on a global scale and
then to not get it when people
have been telling you the reasons
why you're going to get it and why you deserve
it, it was like, ooh,
I don't like that. And then I had
to go throughout the rest of the evening.
You know, there was a clip where
Janelle Monet saw me on the carpet
and she runs up to me and hugs me
and she was like, how did it go? Did you get anything?
You see, like, you don't hear us, but you see us talking
and you see my face go.
And she was like, it's all right, it's all right.
We're going to do something anyway.
Like, you know, and it was just, you know, so,
and then of course I had that tight-ass cumbole-bon on
so that way just no slack.
I couldn't breathe.
And I just, so at the end of the day
when I was actually able to go home
and be by myself is when I was able to actually
unfold.
because it was just
it had to be
all day
so that was
that was an adjustment
and so it was just like I said
I was still a little tender from that particular
when we came back the next time we had
three nominations
I said oh
one for the father one for the son one for the
oh no ghost
okay
happy pride
so yeah that that just
yeah it was a
bit was a bit more, and also we were more prepared this time.
It was the time. It was divine timing. It was, it happened when it was supposed to.
We love, we love an alignment. Right? Yeah. Everything happens when it's supposed to happen.
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You said something before about people saying you are too much.
I would imagine that that happens to creatives.
People who are truly out-of-the-box creative.
You're too much because you don't fit in a box.
What do you say to somebody who's being told that they're too much?
And how did you manage to navigate that?
I will say this, especially those boxes, right?
Funny thing about boxes.
They do have limits.
However, it depends on what you're doing in that box.
And I also, I like to go back to that episode of SpongeBob
where he's using his imagination.
And they get some box, I don't know if Squidward ordered a huge-ass television,
but Patrick and SpongeBob were playing in that box.
And there was so much calamity going on in there,
and Squidward could not focus on what he had gotten in the box.
box because they having too much fun inside that box.
And when he opens it, they're just sitting there.
Nothing's going on. But you hear all
this stuff going. It's just, we're using our imaginations.
If you're going to have enough imagination,
then you might not fit in around here.
You know, you need people that
want to have just as big
of an imagination as you do.
And first of all, especially being
black, why
would you think that I came here to do the least?
Like, where did you even think that
was even a fault, a suggestion.
And at no point
did you ever, because I would imagine this happens to artists
too, especially a lot when somebody's saying, you should
do this, you got to do this, this is how you win,
this is how you be successful, this is how you can make it back.
Like you never felt victim to like
not losing yourself so much, but just bending
in a way that felt uncomfortable for you.
So not, well, yes, bending
because I'm flexible.
And when you are, but to gain your flexibility, you have to stretch.
You have to stretch yourself in areas that, that's why I said there's a fine line between pressure and pain.
Pressure you can lean into.
But if it's painful, back off.
So I think I've, there's been a really good, yeah, I got that in yoga school.
You got the bars.
You've been coming with them ball bars.
So when you have people that can see something that's already there that just,
need some embellishing, just need some fine-tuning, just needs to, if anything, it just needs to be
tailored.
Like, I have, like, the, the garments are amazing.
But if we could just bring this in a little bit to kind of really let it fit you, that's,
that's what they did.
It's opposed to being too rigid where you just only want to do it your way and you're not open.
Yeah.
No, I'm, I've never been, been like that.
You know, no.
Tell me a time, though.
Tell me a time you had to bend.
You had to be, give me an example of what that means in your world, in your real life.
So back when I was, I'll say late teens going into early 20s, I was heavy on the jazz.
Heavy on jazz.
Billy, Sarah, Ella, Big May Bell, Phyllis Heimann, Esther Phillips, just a Bob, Babeloubop.
Okay, all of that.
And that bled into how I approached music.
And so there was no structure.
And it felt good to me, but I was trying to figure out why wasn't it translating to other people?
And so again, when I brought someone in to let them listen to the music, they're like, okay, well, you sound amazing, but these melodies, like, they're all over the place. What are you doing? No, no, no. This is how we need to do this. So this, you do like, and we're not, and let's try something else, but keep this. I was like, that's all you had to do. That was all it was.
A little difference in structures. Yes, just a little, just a little tidbit. It was so, it was so minute, but it made such a huge impact.
And that's what the song, Melody, was about.
I was explaining how I've been working by myself.
And now I found my recipe for what is dope.
Because I didn't have to change who I was.
I just had to tailor the garments.
I love that.
Speaking of the recipe of why you're dope, what is the comparison?
Oh, God, I can't remember.
I remember talking about the difference between, it's not a sky.
It's like church, there's a church voice or tone versus club.
I wrote it down.
I'm going to find a few because I've got to get it right.
I was like, what was that?
You don't even remember this.
You do so much funny stuff.
I know.
I'm doing so much.
You just do so much that you don't even remember what I'm talking about.
Oh, you got to sit there because I'm going to find it.
I'm going to find it.
Okay, okay, please.
But I feel like that is the kind of sweet spot of what you do.
And even some of the song, I mean, you, you've remade a gospel song.
Oh, I've re-made so many.
We did a grown Christian.
I know.
I'm talking about it.
about one specific one that went kind of viral
that take things that...
Yes!
Forever.
And ever.
And ever.
For all the shit
you put me through.
Your nigger's corny.
We know it.
Y'all all can go to head.
Fuck these nests
For stress
Sing me
Church
What happens when you do something like this
Because it's one thing you do it
And it's like you're a little
Not little big
But your community on your Instagram
And your things
There's another thing when you do something
And it goes so viral that it starts to get legs
Because then people have opinions
That's not part of
That don't get your humor
And your thing
Did that cause any issue?
Or you just don't mean, you don't pay it.
You don't pay it.
I try not to pay too much attention to that.
Because it's so easy to be like, oh, God, I don't want to make anybody upset.
Angie, let me tell you something.
When the people pleaser discovers that people are never pleased,
you stop giving a fuck.
Truly.
Like, people are never, even when you try to do things in the way that they suggested that you do.
And it's still not.
not good enough. So why are we
wasting our time doing that? Especially
with people that aren't, that don't even
live our lives. I don't even live even
parallel to our lives. Even if you
could fit my shoes, you can't stroll in.
So
I like to focus on the people
who... There's just so many words. You have so many
words. Listen, I've got
two therapists. I've been around the elders.
We've been around. I'm a spurn.
That's a perfect
combination, by the way. The
therapist and the elders.
And don't have like a faith also at the same time.
Yeah, yeah.
And all that going on at the same time.
Mm-hmm.
You are well armed.
Come on, covered.
Come on, now.
I love that.
When did you find therapy?
Professionally, 2020.
Uh-huh.
But I'd been...
Oh, not six years, I guess, is some time.
Yeah.
And that was professional.
What we're talking about, like, unprofessional?
We're talking...
What is it unprofessional therapy?
Bado.
Badoo?
Badoo.
Oh, shoot.
She's like professional.
Absolutely.
You got my, of course, my mom, my dad.
You had DeVette Singletary, who was one of my managers at the time and also a mentor.
Yeah.
And just people that I've come across that just did not mind pouring into me, you know, because they saw that I didn't mind listening.
You know, I love to, you know, to sit down and hear stories and to, you know, take note of.
what things we not going to do,
and what we're not going to do is that.
Okay, bad.
Yeah.
Listen.
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You know.
I love that.
Give me a badu.
Give me a badu jewel she poured it to you.
Oh.
Too many, I know, right?
Just one that comes to me.
There's one immediately that comes to mind, and this was when I called her when I had discovered that I got cheated on.
And she had me, she was texting me, and she texted me.
And she texted me this, this prayer to recite.
And one of the last things that it said was, I am not a victim.
I am a student, and I am grateful.
And also, that was the same time where she taught me how not to internalize.
you do that
it's a practice
because a lot of times
when people are behaving
towards us in a certain way
or even just
exuding certain energy
that we might feel like
oh did I do something wrong
and my thing is
if you don't come and talk to me
I'm not going to assume shit
I can't
if you don't feel comfortable enough
to at least come and talk to me
and say hey Duran
when you did X, Y and Z
that made me feel this way
bet let's take inventory into that
because I don't want to make you feel that way.
But if you can't even come and talk to me,
let me know that I did something wrong.
Obviously, we ain't that close.
And that's okay too.
But I can't internalize.
It will literally like tatter your nervous system.
It's hard to do that if somebody cheats on you
or you're in a relationship
and you've poured into somebody.
How is that, can you not internalize that?
Is that something you can?
Well, again, it's a practice.
And my thing is if I've done my due diligence to make sure that the floor is open for you to be able to talk to me, or if there's something that you need, if you don't let me know, how am I going to know?
Like, if you don't tell me how you're feeling, I'm not going to give a damn.
Because I'm genuinely ignorant of what's going on inside.
And also, we have to remember that how people treat you is really a reflection of how they view themselves.
And again, you can't take.
on their issues.
I mean, you can.
But, you know, that whole empathy shit,
listen, y'all can keep that.
I don't have time to be walking around here
feeling everybody's goddamn shit.
I need that word for me today.
Angie, let me tell you something.
You see this right here?
What is this?
Yes.
So this is from an episode of Black Mirror.
It was, I think, season four or season six,
but the episode was called Black Museum.
And there were three episodes within the episode.
This particular one was called Pain Act.
It's about this doctor who got presented with some new technology to help with medicine.
It was this plant that got installed into the back of his head that was attached to a hairnet.
You put the hairnet on someone else.
He can feel what the other person is feeling without suffering the physical ramifications of it.
So they were trying to figure out how to help people.
You know, they bring folks in, put the hairnet on.
He'd be able to detect what was going on in their body without them even knowing that there was something else going on.
Everything was great until one day he went in there.
They strapped this guy up and immediately as soon as he put the hair net on, he felt this pain.
He's like, oh God, what the fuck am I feeling?
The man was having a heart attack and he flatlined while he was still wearing the hairnet.
The doctor blacked out for two minutes.
Came back, brain was scrambled like a motherfucker because now you have experienced the ecstasy of death while you are still conscious.
So now it went from wanting to feel pleasure
to now he needs to feel pain.
And now he's going to work
having people wear that hairnet
and riding the pain
because he's trying to get back to that high.
And I realized like, ooh, I can't put hairnets on everybody.
I can't feel everybody's shit.
I can't.
I can do my best where I can,
but we can't give our flux.
everybody. We got to reserve them
for the folks that genuinely like we can
because you got to reserve
your fucks. Empathy is a tricky thing, boy.
Because it's putting
a package with a bow as if it's a good
thing. Yeah. You're such an empathetic person.
Here's your, here's your, you know,
like it's put like it's a good
thing. But if you don't know how to
manage it or regulate it, it
actually can harm you. Oh yeah.
Listen, I
I just was working through my second therapist because I got two.
Wait, two at the same time time.
Oh, do you have a conflict?
Oh, no, just a couple weeks ago.
I have both of them on three way.
What are we talking about?
Stop it.
I need all hands on debt.
What are you trying to fix you?
It's not about fixing.
It's just you, when you're going through certain things and it's like, no, I need
multiple perspectives at the same time because both of y'all know what's going on
and I just need everybody.
We just need half a team meeting.
Yeah.
And I say that with, with pride and with surety within myself,
that I don't have all the answers and they can be needing help too.
Mm-hmm.
You know.
I love that because everybody needs help all the time.
You don't need to be.
Our therapists have therapists.
Our therapists have therapists.
But you come from a great family.
You love your parents.
Your parents love you.
You know, normally when we hear the therapy, heavy therapy,
especially, or people who, like, really rely on therapy.
It's like, you know, troubled childhood and trauma and, I mean, we all have our traumas.
And having a career.
Having a career.
You need to be in therapy when you are in the spotlight.
You know?
To navigate.
To navigate.
Seriously.
Yeah.
You're doing all right.
Listen, I think I'm going to pretty good job.
I think you're doing a fancy.
You know, ain't been arrested.
Like you said, you're not built for that.
You know, I'm not.
That's not.
Listen, if there is ever.
ever a time where you see Duran in a fight.
Understand it is nothing I ever started.
However, it was something that I had to finish.
Because I'm always going to choose to walk away.
If there is ever and I'm always going to walk away.
But as my father always said, it's me and you till it's me or you.
Your father got bars too, I said.
We have all lived.
Yes.
You got the bars.
Your dad got the bars.
Okay.
No, that's what they say.
Y'all can sign a family of bars.
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So we have a section, a segment called our voice note segment.
somebody is a fan or a friend or to the show
and they knew you were here
and they sent this a little voice note.
Nice.
Shall we?
Hey, Duran.
My name's Wongo, and I wanted to ask,
the music industry can be such a tricky landscape,
especially for a new artist who wants to remain independent like you are.
What are some things that you wish you knew in the beginning of your career
that you now realize are important for the route of independence?
Independent life ain't for everybody.
It's not.
It is not for the weary.
You probably get that a lot.
There's probably a lot of independence out here,
independent artists that are inspired by your path.
Honestly,
the only thing that I can,
I can,
the only thing that I can really accredit
to how far I've gotten is,
first and foremost,
having a father as,
as my manager.
So, pops being in the music,
being around the industry,
and kind of, again,
being a part of my covering.
So I was able to avoid a lot of,
things that I've seen other artists get involved with,
you know, managers taking advantage of them.
So that was one thing.
One thing I wish I had have done earlier was just bring people in.
You know, I was very much, I'm doing this by myself.
I don't need no, this is my personal feelings.
I don't need nobody telling me how I'm supposed to feel.
But it wasn't until I brought other people in.
Shout out to Lewis York, Claude Kelly, and Chuck Harmony.
which, by the way,
Claude wrote
Party in the USA by Mommy Cyrus.
And I was like, I want a party in the
USA type record.
And they gave me generous.
You would have killed the party in the USA.
Let's say, it's a party in my hands like, yeah.
Moving my hips like, yeah.
But yes.
Is it too late?
It's too late.
That was just too late.
But yeah, no, when they came in,
and we worked on En route,
that was when I got my first Grammy nomination.
So it's just the most,
more that people come in that understand you that see the vision that can just embellish that,
that was just key.
It was very simple.
That has to come with some trust too, no?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that takes.
But again, I have my family.
You know, I don't know.
I don't have any experience of having a machine of a label behind me.
I do know what it feels like to have a village surround me and us reaching to the sides and seeing what
brilliance we have up in here that can help elevate something.
And it's just, it's been great to get to these moments.
That's why there has really been any nerves or any, uh, uh, imposter syndrome.
Because not only do I know I deserve to be exactly where I am, I have people around me
that are from, that I'm familiar with that I know that have my back.
So that is the grounding of my piece.
I love that.
So that's probably a good, I didn't get his name, well, the call.
You say wango?
Manga.
Wango? Yeah, Wango. Yes, I thought I heard.
I think so for somebody like that, it's like,
find your people.
Find your people. Find your community.
Yeah. And we're out. And we are out here.
And I have to remind people, yes, niggas is crazy.
Absolutely. Hands down, full stop.
However, there are people out here who are waiting for the opportunity to support us
and to be there for us and to be in our corner and to root for us.
and to speak highly of us in rooms where we're not in, you know.
And also having people in your life that represent you well when you're not in the room.
So good.
Oh, God, when I think about people in my life who represent me when I'm not in room and I want to represent them well when they're not in the room.
I love that.
And your parents probably start, it starts there.
This is the way you represent them
and the way you talk about them
and then how they do for you
that's probably where you learn that from, yeah.
I wonder what it feels like to be them.
To see.
To have this amazing sound like...
Yes!
A phenomenal entity.
Just and to see,
but also it's to see the
perfect hybrid of both of them.
You have my mother's antics.
You have my father's face.
Like just
I'm just a perfect combination
of them both, I just wonder what that genuinely feels.
Like, I know they're proud, but there's a certain, and I've felt pride before, but that's a
different level of pride that I don't, I don't think I'll experience.
And so I'm glad that I can at least see how that makes them feel.
You don't have a pride for that, but you have pride in them.
I do, absolutely.
Yeah, but you didn't make them.
I know, well, actually, I made them parents.
Yes, I did.
Oh, my.
I sure did.
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Shiv. Ready? This is our IRL bowl of IRL questions. So pick one. They're just like questions
about real life. Okay. With two hands, nobody's ever gone on the wall with two hands.
What is it? I'm at my best when. About three things. I'm at my best when I'm rested.
I'm at my best when I am nourished.
Food?
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Got to nourish ourselves.
I want to wither away.
And I'm at my best when I'm around people that make me love who I am.
Yeah.
I'm going to mention when I'm high, okay?
Because I'm going to whip nobody's ass, okay, why I'm trying to raid the fridge.
Oh, my God.
You're going to take another one?
Oh, I love this.
Let's go.
When was the last time you cried?
When was this?
This was recent.
It could be of gratitude.
It doesn't have to be a sad cry.
It could be a happy cry.
Joyful.
No, no.
Well, no, I'll say that I can think of the last time that I, like, cried.
Are you a crier or you, like, not something?
I have crying capacities.
Okay.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because we don't want to be emotionally constipated.
You know, we got to let it out.
I'll say like last like cry, cry, April.
Oh, a couple months.
Yeah.
Was it like a sad cry or a sad cry?
It was a devastation cry.
But it's okay because we're growing, we're learning, you know.
But yeah.
I was just like, oh, I am.
It's that savior complex.
It's that, you know, trying to be everything for everybody and realizing, oh, I am stretching myself a little too thin here.
You know, so, so yeah, that was probably last time.
At least a sad, at least a sad problem.
What do you do when you, because that is, that is a thing that is pretty common when we stretch ourselves too thin.
How do you recognize it and how do you get out of it?
How do you adjust?
Adjust.
For me, it's listening to my body.
I think it's important that you do check-ins with yourself
because if you don't sit down, your body will sit you down.
Have you ever been sat down?
Because I've been sat down at least twice, maybe three times.
When I tell you, my body will be like, you keep playing with me.
Absolutely.
And we have to treat our bodies like the machine that it is.
You know, and it will work for you if you work with it.
it.
Oh my God.
I had the best advice
when I went to a doctor
and I had been getting vertigo.
I've been like dealing with this vertical shit,
whatever.
So I went to the doctor and he told me.
He said, I'm just going to say this to you.
You require four things.
Everything else is a want.
You have four needs.
You have to eat.
You have to drink.
You have to move your body.
And you have to sleep.
Yeah.
And everything else, family, career,
love, whatever.
Everything else is a want.
Yeah.
So if you're not getting your four necessities, you have to reorganize your wants because
what you can't do because I was like, you know, I haven't slept because I've been trying to
and I haven't been drinking as much.
Well, yeah, I know I need to go to the gym, but I haven't because this is.
So you're you're sacrificing your four needs for the wants, which is wrong because that
will put you in the hospital.
And he represents like a lot of athletes.
He's a doctor for like a lot of athletes and stuff.
And he said, anytime an athlete's in the hospital, I can say to them pretty confidently,
have you been eating, drinking, sleeping, and moving, moving about it.
If I ask all four things, I guarantee you, most people in the hospital, something is not,
one of the needs are not being met.
Yeah, yeah.
So just start there.
And I don't know, that shit.
That's that.
It sounds so simple.
But it's, your body will, baby.
Right.
It really will, like, I don't know, because you have to shift.
You have to, I work so hard.
and I couldn't sleep all my hours.
Yeah.
No, we have to.
Guess what's going to happen to you?
Yeah, no, your body going to take that rest.
Mm-hmm.
And at the most inopportune time.
You're going down.
Yeah.
Wamo?
All right, fine.
Last one.
Well, then I have a couple of my own.
If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be?
Speaking any in every language.
Ooh, you in every language?
That would be, baby.
Wait for a lot.
Wait for I get my espionio together.
Okay, because de me for okay.
Because not just.
Speaking, that would mean that you could sing in every language.
Somebody told...
Wait, I know exactly what told me.
Intelligence told me that I need to sing no business in Spanish.
And I need to get that together.
Can you teach me?
My Spanish is awful.
I'm so ashamed.
I'm sorry to say.
And then we have Martinez, not knowing a bit of Espanu.
I know.
I do know a bit.
I don't know enough to teach you.
And then I'll teach you wrong.
And then everybody's going to blame me.
Yeah, gotcha.
Because my Spanish is not that great.
It's really...
I can sing that.
I can order food.
I could move around in any country, you know, in the country,
but it's embarrassing to my people if I speak publicly.
That is something that I used to be embarrassed,
that I used to apologize or be embarrassed about.
It is what it is.
I work on it.
I try it to.
It's something I definitely want to get better at.
No, that's what it is.
I'm third generation.
What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
Okay.
In real life, what are you most proud of about yourself?
This is more like a speed round
Yeah, yeah
My audacity
Mm-hmm
In real life
What do you pray for most?
Hmm
Then I wish a nigger would
You pray
You pray?
You pray
You know
Pray to myself
And I'm niggum
And I'm niggas
You would
But she would take that trash out
Okay
But she would
Fold them clothes up
What is one thing
On your real life
Bucket list
That you'd like to check off
Do you have one?
Damn.
Okay, I've been skydiving.
I went to Fiji.
Oh, my God.
A real-life bucket list, though.
You're not scared of those.
You're not scared of much, huh?
You just go for it.
I'm just like, but what is the...
You don't have a bucket list item?
Nothing?
It has to be.
Well, I definitely want to go to China.
And, like, there's so many different spots
that I would love to...
Visit in the world.
Yeah, yeah.
But do?
But do?
Hmm.
I mean, even career-wise, I'm sure.
there's things you want to do.
You know what?
The Super Bowl
as an independent artist.
Oh!
And why not? You know what? Kendrick,
meet me on side stage.
Yeah, we'll do that.
Yeah, let's do that.
Super Bowl
as an independent artist.
As an independent artist.
Have you ever been tempted to
not be an independent artist?
not necessarily tempting because there hasn't been anything that has presented itself
that was fair for everyone involved.
And just to reiterate,
any time that I mention that I'm independent,
it's not to say, oh, I don't need no help.
You know, no, it's just look at how far we've gone
using what little bit of resources that we've had.
You know, so that's why I, but I'm, listen, I'm open to help.
As long as it's fair for everybody involved.
What about legacy?
What do you want that to be?
I would hope, first and foremost, that I inspire people to be kind to themselves.
You know, give yourselves grace.
And to really take inventory on the people that are in your life.
A lot of times we hold onto things because we've known people so long.
And just because you've had history with somebody doesn't mean you have a future.
So it's important that we are putting in our,
our best, and sometimes our best varies, you know, but you can give yourself grace.
I would also love to leave behind just a plethora of ways that you can be creative and
push the limits and step outside of the box.
You don't have to say this is what I am.
You know, I can say what I prefer or what is nice, but I don't want to be just married
to one thing, you know, life and all these things are meant to be lived and experienced.
So live and experience the life.
That leads me right to my last question.
If God were to text you right now, he sent you a text.
What would it say?
Oh, you're welcome.
And not for nothing, God is a black woman.
So I'm, yes, you're welcome because I was given life.
and I've been nurtured and covered by black women all of my life.
And yeah, they have my, they, they have, they have, they have, I'm forever deaded.
You know, so that has been.
Yeah, I, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, you are welcome.
Thank you for being here.
She's, she was, she would. She did. She is.
Okay.
Because she's the next monifa.
It's been too long since you've been gone
Feels good when I'm with you
I miss you
And she says you're welcome for that voice too
Okay, okay
We're talking to Duran in real life
This is Duran Bernard in real life
Hey guys, thanks for watching
Make sure you subscribe, like, comment
And check out all of the other episodes we have
on Angel Martinez IRO podcast
My husband is at a spa resort with his mistress right now,
and I'm calling the hotel to confront them both.
Wait a minute, Dakota.
She's calling the hotel while they're checked in together.
Yeah, that's right, Sophia.
And it gets worse.
It's Vacate to Vacation Week on the Okay Storytime podcast,
where she caught him buying gifts on Amazon
and then taped the 10-page letter inside his luggage before he flew out.
So she planted evidence before he even took off?
And, spoiler, Sophia, two years later,
Karma hits so hard, he's calling his ex-wife,
in tears, saying about his mistress, what a mistake that was.
To find out what happened, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Hey, it's Alec Baldwin.
This season on my podcast, here's the thing.
I talk to composer Mark Shaman.
It's about the hang.
It's the pleasure of hanging out with the people that you're with.
You know, Rob and I was always a great hang.
And director Morgan Neville.
Film School teaches you all the wrong things about making documentary.
What do you want to say? Documentary is all about your ear. What do you hear? I feel like my job is listening really, really hard.
Listen to Here's the Thing on the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is, getting a racist statue removed.
And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is, getting a new one put up in its place.
I'm Akila Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 is about both of those things.
As I was watching these statues come down, I was thinking about what it meant that I grew up in a majority of black city in which there were more homages to enslavers than there were to enslave people.
Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, this is Chuck from Stuff You Should Know, and we're submitting our most sciencey episodes for your peer review with our new stuff you should know doing science playlist.
Out now.
You want to know about Occam's Razor?
Simplest explanation is usually the right one.
We got you covered.
Wondered what chaos theory is ever since the first time you saw Jurassic Park.
Well, come on down.
So distill a nice pot of tea, everybody.
Turn down the gas on your Bunsen burner and slip into your most comfortable lab coat
and listen to the stuff you should know doing science playlist on the IHeart radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is an IHeart podcast.
Guaranteed human.
