Joe and Jada - Angie Martinez IRL - Jess Hilarious: Being Yourself Is Never Too Much

Episode Date: July 31, 2026

Comedian, author, and radio personality from The Breakfast Club, Jess Hilarious joins Angie Martinez to talk about having a public dispute go viral while suffering from postpartum depression, her co-parenting journey that inspired her book “Til Death Do We Parent,” and what really happened behind the scenes during her dispute with The Breakfast Club, which she co-hosts with DJ Envy and Charlamagne tha God. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt...All lines provided by ‪Hard Rock BetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Sometimes you can be like too much for people. And I've been told that, like, tone it down. Like, you know, that Baltimore can't come with you. But you mean, that's what got me here, you know?

Evolution is beautiful, but like, I will never lose my core. Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. She grew up in West Baltimore with a mouth that had no filter. She bet on herself with nothing but a phone, a desk, and a rehab center for at-risk kids, then went viral. Nick Cannon gave her her shot. Martin Lawrence put her in front of 13,000 people.

She earned her seat on the breakfast club table. But none of that is why she wrote her first book. She wrote it for every co-parent who's had to show up for a person who repeatedly broke their heart, because their child needed them to. Comedian, actress, radio host, now, fuck her. And my girl, Jack's hilarious in real life in the building. Ow, ow, ow.

Ew. Oh, my God, it's an honor to be here. Jess with the mess and her news is real. All the time. Hey, Angie. Hi, Mama. How are you? How are you feeling that seat?

Because I know you've been doing a lot of press since the book. And I've been doing a lot of watching IRL, and I feel good to be here. Because, girl, you don't just be sitting down talking to anybody. Oh, thank you. You don't. So I love this. This is, oh my gosh, you are radio royalty. So of course.

Thank you. Yes, I feel good sitting here. You're a radio girl now, too, like for real. Has that set in for you all the way yet? No. No, because you're a comedian, right at first? You're a comedian. And then you step right into this role with a vengeance.

Like, I'm just saying they put you in a like... The Lionsden. The Lions Dead. Yes. Big a swim. You're getting thrown in the water, Shorty. People don't always understand. And that.

Yeah. Because if somebody sees talent and potential, and you always had talent, people were, you had a following, you had a whole career before you hit the breakfast club, which we'll get into today. But that moment when you transition to something new, people just assume, oh, she's talented. Of course she could go do the breakfast club. Or of course she could go do radio or she could. But people don't always understand that when it's happening in real time, it's tricky, it's hard, it's new, it's. Like you're uncomfortable. What was that like for you that moment?

Man, when I get there, because like you said, all the things, I already got my own brand. I already, you know, like I'm used to singing whatever I want to say. I'm used to being unfiltered just. You get on. You're the big fish in your pond. Yes. Yes. And then you are now in somebody else's pond where it's two other people, two other big fish.

You know, they're dominant figures, alpha, everybody has their own big energy. And now you're like, damn, do I find? fall back, how do I fit in? Is everybody going to be susceptible to who I've been before I got here? Radio is so different because now I have to be censored. You know, I can't say the things that I want to say. Or I got to say them a different way. You learned that shit early too.

Learned it real quick. And I'm like, oh my God, that's why I want to do the pug your podcast and not the radio. I'm like, no, I want to get real and shit. I want to say shit, bitch, fuck. I want to say all of that stuff like that. It's doing. You know what I mean? And then getting up that early.

every day. Angie, I'm still I'm in my third year at the breakfast. I'm still not used to it. What time do you get up in the morning? Between 3.30 and 4. Come on.

Yes, because you got to do makeup. Because not only, radio is not what it used to be. You're not only heard anymore. Now you're seen and shit. And it's like, yo, I got to look presentable. I'm not the makeup girly every day. I damn sure it wasn't the edges

girly every day. I just got edges. So I'm like, damn, now I got to do them too. Like, girl, it's a lot. But I am very thankful for the opportunity. And it's also taught me to think through things. I was always just so quick. Like, because improv, I'm a comedian.

We quick on our feet. You know, we clap back what I would even think is sometimes. But that's what radio has taught me. Like, especially doing radio in New York. Like, it has taught me, like, you don't have to quickly respond to things. Like, think about it. And it's okay. That's why you got two other co-hosts to fill in the gaps for you.

You know what I mean? And then we got Lauren. And I love that dynamic. as well. But I'm still getting used to whatever this balance is, because I still am just hilarious outside of Breakfast Club for so many, known for so many other things that I got to keep up as well. You still got to keep doing that too. Yes. So I just wonder for you, because I, from the outside, could see you come in and go, that's tough. Like, I could see it. I could be like, that's tough. Number one, you're jumping into something that was already existing.

Right. Somebody else had already sat in that chair for. since its inception, you know, Angela Lee was there. Shout out to her. I don't know. I just wonder, sometimes those moments

in women's lives and women's careers could feel, you know, scary, lonely, vulnerable. Definitely. You know what I mean?

And that's what it, like that's what it was. After I came down from the high of actually getting the job. Yeah, because you're like, I'm going to get it. I'm like,

I'm going to do it every day before I get. I'm like, every day. Oh my God. I'm hiring videography. and things like that.

They're putting together like all these dope visuals because I'm really trying to pitch myself for this third seat. And then I get it. And I'm like, I got to do this every day. I got to do it. You know, okay, four o'clock every day. Then damn, okay, now I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God. And then this is, oh, wow. You know, so it was, it felt very, it was challenging, but like there were times I did feel, lonely alone. I felt like, all right, I need to take a class to get right. There was no training. I got through life in the shit. Like, you know, I guess how to fit in at the radio or how to do this radio job. It's like, and then the biggest challenge for me off the rip, I could see it. Even when

I was guest co-hosting was interviews. Because I don't be knowing what the hell to ask these people. You know what I mean? That's the really shit ever. Then you got Charlemagne. Everybody got their own niche. You know what I mean? Like you got Charlemagne. He going to get real deep and gay. Like he's going to give it like, you know, I'm like, damn, you can't be therapeutic and gay, you know, at the same time. You know, you got to meet people a certain place. And you got envy that always want to go from the beginning.

It always, I want to ask you, how did you get into this? So I can't go that route. Mm-hmm. Because that's him. He's the beginning, man. Then you got Lauren. Yes. Then you got Lauren.

She's going to bring up something from 1992 that these people, nine times out of 10, forgot and got scrub from this. internet, but she's going to go in the back pocket and get it where her TMZ background, I don't have an ass. You know, and then I'm there like, how was your flight? How would you, okay? What you're doing after this? What you like to eat?

Girl, I don't be knowing what the hell to ask. I've gotten better, I feel like, but I'm like, damn, is there a class that I got to take on this? What have you learned? What has been a good trick for you? I wish you would have called me. I don't know. I would have helped you.

I would have helped you. You'd be like, girl, I need a fight. I was like, all right, let's look at your option. I'm still trying to figure it out. You know what I found to be my niche is right when things are. Because, you know, at the breakfast club, you're in a bit of a hot seat, especially if you've done something that went public, viral, and, you know, any type of controversy or whatever,

they're going to bring it up. Even if you submit a list and say, don't bring it up, that make them bring it up even quicker. You know what I mean? I have learned to be the comedic relief in the room. Like, okay, now I make people feel comfortable to be there. When they think the total opposite, because a lot of people that come there,

And they know me is just with the mess. So they're looking at me to be messy. I'm like, no, that's that boy hit nigga right there. Like, he's going to do it. And then that's Lauren over there too because she's real journalism, loving and respected. But me being a comedian, I make the people laugh. I make them feel comfortable. I make them feel like, okay, all right, this ain't so bad.

All right. And then they're leaning more to me. Yeah. I'm like, okay, this is going to be my niche. Basically you're saying just be who you are. Just be who you are. Yeah. Yeah.

That is always the answer to everything. Lord. Every answer, every question in life, it's like, get to the truth of who you are. Yeah. It will help you answer that question. Even in that little problem like that. Right. Right.

So when I asked them, how is your flight? They feel good that the heat is now off for something that they did 20 years ago. Yeah, but you rely on comedy. Like, you look at, you look for the, I don't know, the common thing that's funny in the moment. Absolutely. And you tap into that, which is why you're good at what you do. Yeah. And the fact that I'm a mom, too, because we had, we have no mom.

on the show. You know, Lauren, she wants to be a mom, you know, one day, but she's not. Envy, Charlemagne, they have wives who are moms or whatever, but they're not a mom. They can't directly speak to what that's like. So you're the mom of the bunch. Exactly. So I'm like, all right, no, this is my niche too. The funny mom who's going to love on you. All right, cool. Make fun of you every now and then, but I'm a love for you too. Hey, guys, today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet. Being rebellious doesn't mean quitting your job and moving to an island. Sometimes being rebellious just means taking a few minutes to do exactly whatever it is you want to do.

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I can't. So you're already in this new job that you've got to get up three o'clock. in the morning, that you're learning how to do interviews. You have a public controversy that happens that we'll get into a little bit later. Yes. All that stuff is going on. And then you're pregnant with postpartum

and showing up for work when you get back to work. Yeah. That's hard. It was hard. It was breastfeeding. It was like the walls were closing in on me. And you don't know that you're facing or dealing with postpartum until you come out of it.

or at least that's how it was for me. I've heard other women describe it to be the same for them, but I didn't know what that looked like. I didn't have postpartum depression with my son. And I went through, like, one of what I would call the worst pregnancies of my life pregnant with my son. Because I know we'll get into that later, but like I planned, me and my husband planned our daughter

and postpartum hit me. I think it was like so much I was trying to focus on I thought, like, I went through a period where I didn't think I was funny. I stopped writing comedy. I was doubting myself in every, every area, you know. And there was nothing that my husband could do for me to make me feel better. And I still was like post-partum depression. No, that's not me because I didn't know how to identify it.

You know, and then I'm sorry. Really? I'm so surprised. I didn't. I don't even know. You just didn't expect it. I didn't expect it because I'm like, yo, everything is going good in my life. You know, I'm successful here.

I'm successful there. I got businesses that I'm running. Overall happy. My team is coming together. Like, yeah. Your husband. A new baby. Right.

How could I be going through postpartum depression? Nah, like you really, it doesn't matter what era you are in in your life. It's going to hit you when it's going to hit you. You know, it doesn't matter who you are. It's going to hit you. And I didn't realize. is it until I came out of it. What does that feel like for somebody who hasn't experienced it for you?

Like, what is the low point? What is the moment where you're like, fuck? You feel guilty all the time. Like, you can't do anything right for your child. I felt like because I was breastfeeding, I felt like out of nowhere, I wasn't making enough milk for her. So I felt like a failure as a mom. I felt like I wasn't a good wife.

I felt like I started having parental guilt with my son. Like, oh my God, is he looking at me as a selfish parent because I wasn't able to give him the things that I can give his sister at his, at her age when he was that young. Got it. You know, I'm thinking even, girl, and I would never have it in my life, but I was thinking even like, damn, is my son looking at me like, damn, why couldn't she stay with my father?

Why couldn't she have stayed with my dad? Oh, you're putting yourself through it. Girl, and I know, girl, if I could go back and look at myself going, going through that moment, like, girl, please. There's no way that you would ever even go back with Rome, ever. Like, he got a baby daddy name, Jerome. Like, no, why would you even do that? You know, but like I said, I thought, I thought Breakfast Club was trying to replace me, you know, with Lauren, for sure, you know? And that was the big elephant in the room.

And then I'm going through the comments and I'm not liking what I see. And you know it's people who love me. Then it was people who wanted her to be on the show over me. It was people who wanted me back. Then it was people that was like, well, like none of them. Bring Angela back. I was like, shit. You know what I mean?

It was so much. Those comments will kill you. Girl, what? They're ready to kill you in real life just on a regular day, let alone in the middle of postpartum. Those comments are going. I can only, I can't even imagine. I can't imagine. No, no.

I can't. And then in my mind, I also was like thinking about, what if this don't work? Think you're a two-time baby mama. Then you got to write another book. You know? And I'm telling my husband these things. He's like, what the hell is wrong with you?

What are you talking about? Like, no, I'm here. What's wrong? What did you know? Did somebody identify like, hey, this might be postpartum? No. No. I didn't want to go to the doctor because I didn't, I didn't want to see a therapist.

I didn't want the confirmation. Like I was scared for that to be the confirmation. Yeah. I'm like, no, these just mood swings. Like, nah, no. I didn't want to, I was afraid of the clarity that I would get the diagnosis. I'm like, no, no. But I'm just coming out of it, to be honest with you.

It's been like a month now. Yeah, my daughter's about to be two. August 20th. She about to be two. And I'm like, damn, I was in that shit for over a year. So you're just kind of assessing it now. Yeah, right? Or the book,

a book probably helped you pull that up a little bit, no? No. No. No. This is very recent that you're just in this new space. Yeah.

Wow. Because even, and I'm glad that she brought up that you could even see it visibly. Like, not that you were saying you saw the postpartum depression, but you saw like you kind of see because you come from this world, she's struggling a little bit.

Like she's trying to find her place. And it's like, you know, And I know if you see it, my fans see it, people were writing me, like my parents seen it. My, you know, my mom, my pastor, everybody is like, yo, you're good, you all right. You're not really yourself sitting up there, you know. And this was once I came back, you know. I felt like I never got my mojo back. Like, never got it after I came back.

Yeah, I'm just starting to step into it. That's funny because I didn't see it like that so much. I didn't think, well, you know, I didn't know you that well before. So I didn't know the difference, but I could just imagine and I could see, just from some of the limited conversations and everything that happened, I felt like I could see that. And also, I know that feeling. I've been in a new slot or in a new thing. Maybe not, I've been ready a long time, so maybe not the exact experience. But enough of an experience to be plopped into a new situation where you're like, fuck.

Yeah, yeah. And everybody got an opinion and everybody. And then when you're in your own head, ugh. Their opinions, they don't help. They do not help. They will break you down and make you feel crazy. Hey, guys, Paul Verzi here, and I want to talk to you about Paul's best podcast. Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and IHeart Radio.

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laughing or they crying? Like, whatever. The clip goes, right? But sometimes when the net is wider, like my normal audience, the comments, I know, they know me, I know them. Yeah. We have a rapport. Like your normal, just hilarious audience in the clips, you know them, they know you.

Now all of a sudden a new group of people have entered the chat. People that don't really know you, same thing when you go to the breakfast club. Now you got a whole new audience, people that don't really know you for all this time, that got an opinion about everything you Yeah.

The reason I compare it is because I was looking at the Young and May clip and people were like, this lady doesn't respect her because she's, somebody said, because Young and May, what's the term? A stud. It wasn't a stud, but it was something. She presents masculine. So this lady thinks she can't sing. And I'm like, well, clearly this is somebody who doesn't know me.

Right. But it was a lot of people that didn't know me with weird comments. And I was like, whenever you cast a wider net or you step into a world that's bigger than your comfortable world. It also comes with people who don't know you very well, people who got shit to say without any kind of, you know what I'm saying? I use that as a thing because I think that probably happens to a lot of people. Like, whenever you jump into a bigger pool, it's a price that comes, this thing that comes with that. Yeah.

You know what I got to like almost appeal to them. I think I was getting lost in that. That's what I think I was doing. I was getting lost in that because you're right. They change up algorithms and like now your video is popping up for people who don't know you. Right. And their opinions now are stupid. Yes, are stupid, right.

And it's a lot of them mixed in. It's hard for you to find yours and you're like, damn, then I do something? What the hell happened? But where's my people? Get rid of these people. Exactly. You know, but you can't spam everybody. That's why I'm doing a better job with staying out the comments.

Because, girl, I used to be called the clapback queen. I used to be in there like, I bet you. I bet your mother. You know what I mean? But I'm evolving and I'm 34. I ain't got time to be reading comments and responding back to people. Girl, you got to be up at three in the morning. Girl what?

And you got two kids. And doing research. And doing research on people that comes up. And a husband. A husband. Yes. You know, who wants his wife to uphold her wifely duties. What are those?

What are your wifely duties? Gosh. Gosh, Angie. First of all, I'm going to need you to say like a little more like, you happy about it. No, I'm absolutely happy to be married. It's just so much. Like I have, my life is so chaotic. It's beautiful chaos at the end of the day, though, because my person, I'm so happy I married Chris, Christopher Tulliver. I took his last name, so you know I love him. Because I love my name. Jessica Robin Moore sounds great. Packaged up. You can sell it to anybody.

Now I add a Tulliver, so it's Jessica Robin Moore Tulliver. You know I love you. I sound like a they-them. all the damn names. You know what I mean? But I am very, very happy. I am. And I actually have joy. Like, because I found someone who didn't, I'm not going to say he didn't care about who Jess Alarious was.

He knew that's a character. You know, he knew that. And it's a lot of Jessica, Robin Moore, Tyler, in Jesselarius. But that's my brain. That I put that, I take that head off at night when, you know, I'm with my husband. He wanted to know who I was and, you know, what makes me happy, what brings me joy outside of, you know,

the industry that I'm in. You know, he even care about that. And that's what I love. I never had that. Never. Wow. How did you guys meet? I met him in Baltimore.

And look, he's from Baltimore born and raised two. And I was like, I'm not doing no more niggas from Baltimore because they all like, I'm not. They take me back to where I don't want to be, you know? But he's so well around. it because he was contracted with the Army. So he lived in Kuwait for like four years, and he lived in Thailand.

And he's just, he's well-rounded. You would never even know he ain't even really got the accent until he get mad. Then you hear all of you and the dew and the two. And I'm like, damn, I was trying to get away from that. But I met him in Baltimore. I was getting crabs. This was February 23rd, 2020.

I was just finishing up an episode of Breakfast Club. I was Gasco host and I caught the train down. Me, my sister, my home girl, went to go get some crabs. He came in there. He's sitting at the end of the bowl. and he beating his people's. They knew who I was, but he wasn't really scoping or anything. He was just

down there conversating with them. And he was, he's a truck driver, so he was like on a stop. And I tried to buy him around the shots. He didn't drink, didn't smoke. He do now because I'm a little crazy. But yeah, he didn't. And so I was like,

I like you, you know what I mean? And I'm buying shots and he ain't drinking none of them. So, I get up and I go to the bathroom. And you never know how drunk you are until you stand up. And I'm like, sis, walk me to the bathroom because I got to walk past him, but I'm drunk as shit. She was like, all right, cool. We walk past or whatever.

And I was like, I hope he not watching me walk away. And I turned around and he wasn't. And I was like, that's fucked up, you know. But I came out and he, I could tell he was getting up, you know, because he was ready to leave. But he was like, I wouldn't like to take you out. I want to get to know you outside of this environment, you know. You sober and everything. I want to get to know who you are, you know.

And that's it. A week later, he took me on a date and I haven't left his side since. Oh, my God. That's so cute. Yes. Three years. I'm happy about that. I love that for you.

I mean, you went through a lot, man. By the way, a lot of his in the book. Yes. You didn't hold back about how you let him know about your baby daddy. Yes. You let him know some of the things went wrong there. But you guys have figured this out. Yeah.

Like, you really seem to have figured it out. Yeah, we did. Well, what was the motivation behind even, like, let me tell this story. I mean, I know you've told stories. Yeah. You've been open about your relationship with him. You guys done the pod. Yeah, it was a YouTube series that we developed.

Yeah, co-parents and therapy. We used to do those. But, like, I really wanted to put it into, like, a piece of literature, our story. Because, girl, I just feel like social media today. right, you'll go down to these rabbit holes and TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, X, whatever you're on and you see, like, there is a real category or like a real, like, thing

where people want to stay stagnant and stay dysfunctional and they love toxicity. They feed off of that. And the co-parenting conversations outside of marriage or whatever, it's like baby mamas and bitter baby daddies and everybody. And they are talking about how much

they hate the co-parent. Like, it's not going to affect your children. Like, your kids ain't got to see this. Like, there has been a bad stigma put on people put on couples that don't stay together. Like, they feel like, once you meet somebody, you have a baby, you're in love, all the things. Y'all break up.

Now that's the end of it. You take the kid. I'm going to take this. we can't even be cool. Like, fuck my baby mama. You got sexy red. That's like, she probably gonna get mad again. I don't care.

You got sexy red that's like, fuck my baby dad. It's like so many. Yeah. It's like, that's an audience. Yeah. They're like really, look, I'm gonna put it, I'm gonna sum of the, yo, on this book press tour, I sat and I did many podcasts, right?

And I go and do this one in particular. And as soon as I sat down, I can tell they didn't read the book, but as soon as I sat down, the one girl's, like, yes, finally. We got somebody who finally wrote a fuck my baby daddy book because bitch I can't wait to tell you about mine.

So I was like, yeah, you clearly did not read the book and you clearly don't know me. That's never been me. That's never been my story. Me and wrong, I've never been able to say that about wrong. Now, in the beginning of the book, Chapter 1 through maybe four. So things went down. Yes. I mean, you were young.

It was a little toxic. Right. But I, nah, I've never, because you got to think about a yo. you once love this person. You once, you know, and although y'all not going to be together, y'all can still come together and be friends, even if you ain't best friends like me and Rome, like you can still build a bond that's healthy for y'all to because y'all, y'all, y'all got to have the mindset for these kids and, you know, the right mindset for these kids, the right mentality.

And y'all can raise the kids effectively. Like, you don't have to hate each other. It requires, though, some, well, number one, it requires you number one to put your children first. It requires you actually be mindful about doing that. But it also requires you to have forgiveness. Yeah. And I don't know, I feel like you actually like you.

I do. I do. That's my dad. And you give him almost, you know, you understand his history and his background. And maybe you can kind of. of just, not justified, but understand some of his behavior. You could make a decision, it for you. Yes.

But you could give him grace in some of his maybe shortcomings or things that he didn't do right in that relationship. And that's hard for a lot of people. Yeah. Especially when they still got in it, you got feelings. And I always say that. You say in the book, don't be trying to jump around. Don't be, don't jump around in and out of sex.

No, please. No, stop fucking baby daddy. Don't do it. Don't do it because that's like false hope in a sense. You know what I mean? And more confusion. It's more confusion. Yeah, it's hard enough, right?

Yeah, and you're being let on. And then vice versa, you got some guys that the baby mom leads on. Like, I've seen it. I've seen it happen before. And I know the most complicated thing to do is co-parent with somebody who you feel like you despise or you feel like despises you. You feel like there's no end. Like, he hurt me so bad.

And that's what me wrong with you in the be. beginning, I felt like he had hurt me so bad. I was trying to show up to be the most bitterest of bitters. Like, I was trying to be a bitter baby mama and the best parent for Ashton. And that's like oil and water, that don't go. You know what I mean? Because it confuses your kids, too, because I'm walking around angry, holding all of this negativity and energy. And I'm angry most of the time in his dad, but I'm projecting on him. And then I start seeing that. And my son, Like he messing up in school. He's talking back to me.

He's being disrespectful, defiant, oppositional, and all that. And I'm like, well, damn, what's wrong with you? And it's like, you are what's wrong with him. And it took me, it didn't take me a lot of time to see that. But how me and Rome got past everything he had done to me, I had to start realizing that. This is bigger than me. This has nothing to do with me. Rome came from a traumatic childhood, right?

He found his mom dead at 10. and he was the one to find her. That is how he describes it to be the worst day of his life. Like nothing comes close to that feeling and it still affects him now. And I think by his family not getting him the necessary help to teach him how to navigate or help him navigate with that loss or, you know, to cope with mourning your mom. You know, he was her only child, you know, and then his life was uprooted at 10. And he has a different household to go living to. I think what he started doing was self-medicating on women,

like with women, like as he got older, because he never got any professional help with that. And I was able to understand that and change my mindset and my mentality toward him, like, okay, this shit is bigger than me. Like, I got to give him a little grace. He got to see somebody, though. He need professional help. But I could tell I was like the first step toward therapy

because he had never got vulnerable, that vulnerable enough to share those things. What's interesting, too, is like, you might not have gotten to that place to give him that grace if you had not removed yourself from that relationship. Yeah. Because if you just stayed in it,

because I think women make the mistake of, like, you could have grace for someone you love and understand their background and why and it's bigger than you. You can understand that. But if you stay in it, somebody's going down. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like you can't rise to even have the grace if you're in the shit with the person. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But somehow you got out. Somehow you made a decision. Yeah. Which was not an easy one.

No, I wasn't. It really was. It wasn't easy at first because, like I said, I was still in it. And I did go down. I went, that nigga sent me to jail. Oh, my God. It was wild. I'm busting out windows.

I'm popping up at jobs. And I'm fighting the other baby mother. And I'm catching them with girls. And I'm like, look, y'all, all right, this, this too much. You know, especially when he showed up at my son's birthday, at our son's first birthday party with another bitch. What's going on? Yes.

Like, wrong, you know. And then people read that and they're like, how the hell did you get past that? How the hell are you sitting anywhere at somebody? He's a best friend. I still don't know. I still don't know. I was just able to give him grace. I have no idea.

I know because the same reason you said, why is my son acting up? You did it for your son. You started with your son and then you found probably grace for him. Yeah, absolutely. But yeah, like my son started like acting up and he was such a happy kid. Like, charming. Everything was that he did everything like his dad. Because that's how Rome got me being charming and just, you know what I mean?

This little short ass. Just, you know, I always say if Ray J and Bow Wow made a baby, it'll be Jerome. It'll be my big phone. That's what I had to deal with. You know, but still very charming. You know, but like, yeah, I started seeing that at my son. And yeah, maybe that, along with me understanding that traumatic incident that he had at 10, walking and seeing his mom dead.

And then, like, you know, he still don't know, like, what happened or whatever. Nobody even tried to help him figure that out or anything. The fact that you could identify that he was medicating himself with women. Yeah. I think a lot of men do that. Yeah. And don't. What was the word we said before?

Diagnose it. Right. So sometimes like the baby mother or the wife or the woman is like, what is wrong with you? And they don't even know what's wrong with them. They don't. Because it hasn't been diagnosed. This is what you're doing. It's like you're medicating.

Yeah. And I feel like you're actually ruining your life. Actually. You know, and I feel like Rome was looking for his mom and a lot of the women because he longed for nurturing. Like, he loves affection. He loves to do all the same things he used to be able to do with his mom with women. It's like, you know, he hates you if you can't cook. He don't like you talking on the internet.

He don't like, like certain things like that. And it always goes back to his mom because he'll mention my mother would never do no shit like that all the time. every time he gets into it with like certain girlfriends. You know, like I noticed that he'd say that this is, you know, past. But I'm like, yo, you're looking for your mother and these girls. You know, you can't do that. Yeah. Ooh.

Yeah, that's a different type of love. Look at Jess the therapist. You know what I'm saying? You might need a segment that just the therapist. See, I do a segment called Just Fix My Mess. Yes. But see, it don't take me serious up at the breakfast club. That's the problem.

Yes. If this is my mess, it just seems like, you know, the therapist, Jess. Could be a whole other thing put on some glasses, you know. And not do it at work with two childish-ass idiots. Oh my God. But yeah, not at, I've thought about that. Foodies, Unite. This is Angie Martinez from IRO

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It's using the kid in a way. No, honestly, it's very common. Yeah. Nobody admits it. Hey, guys, Paul Verzi here, and I want to talk to you about Paul's best podcast. Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I Heart Radio. I sit down

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yearning to belong and a family still waiting for answers. All episodes available now to binge. Listen to The Missing Sister on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leveh, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name. And this season, I've sat down with Joshua Hami, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more.

Check out my new episode with Phineas. So I went home and I asked Billy if she wanted to sing it. She immediately made it her own thing. No faith. You really know how to make me cry when you can. So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's like people use the kid. Yeah.

They weaponize that. Or the other way. Or you also say something in the book about how money, he would kind of use money. Yeah. So you use what you got. to, I don't know what you're... Try to get whatever you want or to try to hit, like, in the gut.

Because if you... What I knew about Rome, like, back then, if he didn't love anything else, he left his kid. Like, he loved his son. He was so happy that we were having a baby. Like, I was happy that he was happy, you know. I was happier for him than I was for myself about to step in motherhood.

So, like, I knew this would get under his skin. I'm like, hey, me, yours anyway. Like, I used that. I said that shit down. Yeah. And then, like, later on. So your ass was toxic, too. Girl, yes.

Girl, and that's why. And his response to that because he was hurt, that's why he said he brought the bitch to the birthday party. Because you told me that my son wasn't mine anyway. And I understood. I understood that. Like, I did. I was, I was mad.

You know what I mean? Shit. You know, but... You've done so much growing. I know. What do you attribute the growth to? Like, is it just lessons, life? Is it just therapy?

I mean, therapy, what? No. Nothing? No therapy. No. I've seen across from Charlottomene and everything. I know. I don't have a convention.

Girl, he will shove therapy down to my throat. I'm like, are you in it? Because you need to go. Shit. He even changed his face. You know, his face all, you know, smooth now and everything. Sure. So, but he still need to go.

But I don't know. I'm not opposed to it, to be honest. I don't know when to fuck. I have time to do therapy. But you have grown and evolved so much. Yeah. Yeah. I think I honestly, I equate that to like reading my Bible's thing because I was born and raised in the church.

A very structured household. My father being a former Marine, my mom, born and raised in the church as well. So that's how she raised her kids. And keep your head in the Bible. You know, you give God everything to glory yourself. You know, you ask them to you. use you, you know, in situations where you don't know what to do. You drop to you anything, you pray.

Even when you feel like your prayers go unheard, no, no, they're not. You know, sometimes you got to sit in a storm, like you're sitting in the season because you've got to face the noise and shit. And I felt like I was very, very toxic. It was a lot of things I needed to work on while I'm so busy trying to help Rome get through his shit. I'm like, nigga, I'm fucked up too a little bit, you know, because of this with you, And this is a lot.

We come from two different paths. And what is the prayer in that moment? Girl, what is the prayer to get you out of your own toxicity? God, why would you even want me to go to jail? Why would you, you said I'm your kid. Why would you want me to bash this nigger head in? Why would you want me to ride over here and bust his windows out? Why would you want me to fight this girl that's sitting on his lap on a porch

and my son in the house rolling around in the cat litter. Why would you want me to do that? You know? And what was your answer? Did you get? I don't. No, the answer was jail.

Like, bitch, you didn't realize? You didn't realize I had to go through all of that, you know? But even when you don't get a clear answer from God, it is not all about just prayer. It's about realizing, too, like, you know, this is more, this is about more than just you. You got a kid. You made a decision to have this baby. It's not about just praying. Like, you really have to do some deep diving. And so you got to look inside and be like, all right, what do I really want? Do I want to keep going

through this shit? Like what you said earlier, like, do I want to keep doing this? Like, it's draining me to be toxic. Like, I'm stopping myself. I caught charges and shit. Like, all right, because now you're stopping yourself. And I feel like God will keep on, he will also keep putting you in the same position to be hurt by the same person until you wake up. Because I know, you know, God wants us to love thy brother,

love thy sister and, you know, help everybody out where you can. But he still don't want you to be a fucking fool either. Like, you know. You want you to have some discernments. Yes. And I was very foolish. And I just didn't want to keep getting hurt and keep hurt myself. and I didn't want to keep seeing home hurt.

Yeah. I love that. I love that you're not afraid to, I don't know, just make mistakes and learn in real time, like out loud. And to go back to what we were talking about earlier, I remember this moment. So you had just had this outburst with the breakfast club. You just came back. You went online and said, whatever you said, I don't even remember. Everything about everybody.

Everything about everybody. And they didn't want you there. They was trying to force you out. The whole thing went crazy. And I remember. somebody was like she shouldn't have done that. And I was like, in myself, I was like, yeah.

Because sometimes you had to pick moments to live out loud, even if it's uncomfortable for yourself and everybody else. I'm not saying on the record just that you should have done that. I know, I know. You told me that. I did say that to you, right? Yeah, you're like, I'm not saying you should have. Yeah.

But I think when you're not afraid to be out loud in a moment like that, it also gives you the opportunity to take. heal out loud. Because when people seeing you doing that and them reacting, you're on the radio every day and you're in a new position. So now people are getting to know you. New people are getting to know you in a different way. And so now they see you in this conflict. But guess what? Now we get to see you you heal the conflict. And now we've gone on that ride with you and we know you better. And I think sometimes to live out loud in those moments, if you're ready to and willing to deal with the comments and deal with the opinions and deal with everybody. If you're willing to, if you're willing

to do that, especially as a public figure, I don't know, sometimes I think it could serve you. You know, it was a very uncomfortable moment, you know, like, and girl, I had the nerve to go live, talk about everybody and then go to work the next day like my badge was going to work. I did not. I was like, oh, shit, I think I'm done. Yeah, I think I'm done. But I still went. I'm like, no, I forget it, whatever, I'm going. And I go in there and I see the bus. Bunch don't be coming in at 5.30. She was there. I was like, oh, shit.

Hey, how are you doing? She's like, you are? You good? I was like, yeah, I'm good. Why? What's good? You know, like I didn't just do this shit. Like everybody didn't see you talking about it.

And then, ooh, I walk in and they want to have, actually envy wanted to have the conversation on air, you know. And at first I was like, nah, nah, we're not. doing that, but then I was, then I said to myself, no, what I did was public. They got every right the one I had this conversation with me. Yes. Publicly. Like, no, we, I'm not going, you know, hot, tuck my tail, hot, like, no. All right.

Envy was well in his right to ask. Yeah. And he was hurt by it, you know, and I feel like I got a certain connection, like a different type of connection with envy because he's like the big teddy bear. like big brother, like, he don't play about loyalty. That's one thing about him and me getting to know him because I had a long-standing relationship with Charlotte before I came to the show.

Just got to meet Lauren, but I really didn't have, like, that bond with envy until I came on to Breakfast Club. And he, like, welcomed me open arms, whatever you want your kids need, whatever you want Chris need. Like, he just accepted me. I'm like, oh, damn, real family guy, stand-up dude, solid, love him. You know, so that I can tell he,

hurt him more than it hurt anybody. That's tough. You know, and that's what really made me cry. Like, envy, I just, I burst in its heads. But I still felt like, yo, I'm not crazy. Like, yeah, maybe a little postpart of me and shit. Yeah, that's cool. But, like, no, I feel like y'all playing with me.

Like, I'm asking, yo, what's going on? Like, am I being replaced? Like, what are y'all doing with her? She's going to be the fourth share, like, what's happening? I don't know. I mean, you know, like, seeing your news, She's going to, but I'm like, producers really don't be on air like that. You know what I mean?

Like, I wanted her to sit in a third chair while I was out having my baby and shit, but I come back and we had a plan and now the plan is like different. And you didn't have answers. And nobody told me. And so I'm asking her like, oh, it was Shane or Eve? I'm like, bitch, you know what's going on. Stop bag. You are from TMZ.

If anybody know anything, it's you. Like, I know you know what's up, you know? But it was, it was, it was, it was just no communication. And I felt like the rapport that I built with them before going to maternity leave, I felt like I was at least old, some type of heads up, you know. And I didn't get that. So I acted out in a tantrum type of manner. And we had that big blow up on air.

And everything got better eventually. I don't regret doing that on air. I don't regret doing it because, like, it was a very real thing and it was a moment of the beginning of a healing process. Like, all right, come on, let's do it. I guess that's what I was saying at the beginning of this. It's like, yeah, I'm not saying,

I know, I know. But I feel like, I know. You were in a state of, like, postpartum, new job. You needed support. You needed guidance. you weren't getting it and you had a tantrum. Yeah.

And you went. I did. You had a tantrum. You did. But like sometimes, I don't know. I feel like what a great opportunity for the fans of the show or people in the public to see you work through that with everyone as a team. To see you and Lauren get to the other side of that is beautiful to see that. And so I think you don't get to see that if you don't see the tantrum first.

You don't get to see the healing if you don't get to see the. tantrum. And so I love that we got to sit down with you, Angela you, like, you know, because remember that women's event? Yeah. Girl, that was like immediately after the live and shit. And so I'm, imagine coming back to work after something like that. And you used to all the white people walking up.

Hey, Jesse, okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm good. Damn. Like, all right, relax, y'all. And then Lauren actually was the one like, hey, we should go to the women's. Like, it's, it's women's day. It's all the girls. of eye heart.

Like, let's go. I'm like, girl, hell no. I just went live last week. I don't even know how you're talking to me. You know, like, no. She's like, no, let's go. For real. I think it'd be great.

Lauren is really a girl's girl. Like, she, I love that. How she didn't even, of course, in the moment she was upset. Like, you bitch, said you ain't liked me alive and all of that, you know, but she was able to see, like, also what I was going through. And she was able to put herself in my shoes. Like, yeah, I would kind of feel that way too. I wouldn't do what you did, but I would feel that way too.

and then we sat down with you and Angela Yee and also like you gave us that I thought that was the most genius idea to remake the boy is mine the job is mine I thought that was so fucking great I love that you did it

because I just was being like I was trying to express to you guys that to own the narrative I just wanted you to to own your own narrative like don't let people say what she is don't let Lauren don't let people tell you Jess ain't shit and hates you.

Lauren, just don't let people tell you that Lauren is trying to take you out because, like, y'all control the narrative. I don't know. I just wanted to say that. So then that idea came up. But then you actually,

not only did you do it, but y'all took it and bodied it. Yes, I thought it was so. And then Brandy to hear Brandy say like, that was genius. Lauren just saw her at the Roots picnic. And Brandy was so happy about that. She said.

She was. I loved it. I loved it. That makes me so happy. Yeah, same. Look at y'all. I know, right? So much healing.

Yes, it is. And we don't do the same thing. I'm a comedian. She's a journalist, you know, like Lauren being caught with niggas. That ain't me. Yeah. I'm not sitting behind Diddy for 45 days. I'm not doing it.

She was there. She, that's TMZ girl. She's about that life. Yeah, she is. And I respect that. That's a grind. Yeah. The reason I love that is because I've made mistakes like that in my career

where you let people make you feel some way about somebody. And when I would get to the other side of it, I realized, man, it's so much better when you could just get it out, get to it. Because usually, usually, nobody really wants the problem. No. They want solutions and things. Not somebody I'm seeing every day.

For sure. Like, you spend more time with the people you work with than you do your family. Yeah. That part too. Not every day. Every day. You can't be be beeping with somebody.

Every day. I'm like, damn. I got to come up with a roast every day. But it's bitch. You know, I didn't want to have to do that. Oh, my God. Yeah. People have done shit like that to me my whole career.

I told that story when we were with Ryan Coogler about how when they first put me on afternoons. Yeah. I was like struggling with something. And they put an Ed Lover on against me at power, I think, in afternoons. And I love Ed Lover. I know Ed Lover. I know Ed Lever. But all of a sudden he was like, my competition.

And I let a little bit of that get in my head. And then he booked Oprah Winfrey on his after. You know, she's still haven't really interviewed Oprah. He got the Oprah interview on power. So it's new radio station, Ed lover, right against me. Oh, God. I caught myself feeling the way about Ed. I caught myself on like, he ain't what it?

And then I was like, wait a minute, you don't, you don't feel like that about Ed. You love Ed. Like, what do you do? I had to check myself. And I was by myself in the car, had to check myself. And I thought checking myself wasn't enough. I had to like hit Ed and say, you killed that interview.

Wow. It was so good. And then hear him say to me, man, thank you so much for calling me so much to me. And then I was like, oh, I'll never make that mistake again. Because what was almost happening, it's like you have to cut that shit right at the root. Because he probably didn't know how you were feeling either.

He's probably like, shit. He probably just automatically felt guilty to you. For sure. I just used that as. an example, but we've all been through that in different things. At the job, at the whatever, people put you in, it's like, if you don't check yourself

and if you want to go further and actually clear the air, a lot of times the air feels better like that. But I ain't going to lie. Let Lauren meet Oprah before me. I'm going live again. There ain't no damn. No. I hate that. It's like, no, I'm telling you. But damn.

No more live for you. No, I know. No more. No more. All right. Let's go to our bowl. IRL bowl? Or a voice note. Which one? No, I feel like you guys make a blow with bowl. All right, let's do bowl.

Okay. All right, this is our IRL bowl of questions. You can't go in. You've seen the pod. So you know I'm going to go to my favorite one after, but we'll save that for the end. Okay. Damn.

What? What? Can't figure out who it. Yes. Because this one is, what do people hope to learn from you? All right. What do you think? People can't learn from you?

People like, no. What do you think people should learn? What do you hope people learn from you? Being yourself is never too much. Like, honestly, like, it's not always beautiful. It's not always easy. It's not always pretty. But, like...

It's real. Definitely real. But sometimes, some people are so emotional. Oh. What is that? What's happening? What are you thinking? Why does that sting?

Because sometimes you could be too much. or for people. You want to pick tissue? Can we get a tissue? Yeah, sometimes you can be too much, right? Or... People have told you that, I guess. Yeah, like, yeah.

Sorry, I don't make sure because your makeup is so good. I don't want to. Thank you. But sometimes you can be like too much. too much for people. And I've been told that, like, like, tone it down. Like, you know, that Baltimore can't come with you.

Which I mean, that's what got me here, you know? And you'll second guess yourself a lot, why you want to be known for who you are and staying authentic and just like, yeah, being who you are, you know. Sometimes that's not always accepted right away by the people that you think will accept it, you know. Like, I've never been cookie cutter, never been over-polished and shit. I evolve for sure, elevating and evolution is beautiful, but like I will never lose my course. and like I feel like a lot of my nose that I get like, no, no, you're not good for this roller.

You can't do this. You can't. It's because I'm a little, I'm still a little rugged, too much. Like it's, you know, oh, she goes rogue if things don't happen her way or she's from the same city, Monique, from you see how that shit ended up? Like, I actually have heard those conversations. I'm like, then no, J. DePenka, you see how she going around? She's on this book tour. She's talking about she wasn't.

ever happened. I'm like, God damn, these Baltimore bitches, man. You know what I mean? They put us all in the got-that, you know. But everybody journey is different. Everybody's, everybody's different. Then, oh, my God. Then you see Christian, it's like, what the fuck? Like, why everybody always got to? Like, we constantly get it.

Like, but what I still want for people to learn from me? Like, you know, just be yourself. It may take you longer than you're expected to grow, right? Don't change, grow. Get better with time. Like, wine. Like, even going back to my book, I got better, like, from experiencing things and learning from myself and learning from my son.

You know, yeah. It's just hard, I feel that. Yeah. Hey guys, Paul Verzi here, and I want to talk to you about Paul's best podcast. Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and I Heart Radio. I sit down each week with a special guest and we discuss the absolute best of things. It's that and then there's everything else. He would just shout one line and it wouldn't murder.

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Went in Rome. Top athletes, chefs, musicians, everybody. Listen to Paul's Best Podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leveh, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.

And this season I've sat down with Joshua Hami, Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more. Check out my new episode with Phineas. So I went home and I asked Billy if she wanted to sing it. She immediately made it her own thing. No faith. You really know how to make me cry when you give me those oceans. So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. In 2015, teenager Joy Morgan discovered strangely compelling YouTube sermons from the religious group Israel United in Christ, or IUIC.

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You said to me, yo, you know, keep at it, because you let me rap for you. It was magical for all of us. We made it. We made it. Yeah. I'm like, we? You know, I'm like, I know these guys, but who are you? I'm MC Jen, and this is laugh but not least.

I'll be chatting with guests from all walks of life about the power of humor when it comes to facing difficult times. Like the co-founder of Rough Riders, Darren D. Dean. Talking about as a kid. remember that we met even way before that? Let me think. Did you walk up to the gate? That was me, Dee. That was you? That was me. The day we found out that you and the whole crew was at Hit Factory, the mission was to get me to go to the gate, start freestyling and see if I could get in the studio. I'm rapping,

and then suddenly I hear a voice, hey, open the gate, let him in. The gate slowly went. Come, come, come, come, come. They all, they're watching this, and they watch me walk into there, and that is a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life. Listen and laugh but not least with MC Jen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Far enough, clearly. Yeah. That's not the problem. You don't think you're not enough.

You think you're too much. Yeah. Or you worry you're too much. That's your struggle. Right. Am I too much? Right. But then what are you supposed to do?

Mute yourself? Right. Dim yourself. And I think that's what also I was going through on the breakfast club that I'm just trying to, I mean, that I'm just getting out of. Am I too much? I'm in my head asking all these questions. Yeah. That'll get you every time.

Girl, yes. And then Sharr calls me, you know. Envy will call like, yo, you was quiet, the day was wrong. You know, and then Shar calls me. Yeah, envy is always there with it, you know. He's a good soul, huh? Yeah, he is, man. And Sharr will call me.

And, man, Shar is like a tough big brother, but still a brother nonetheless. Like, he's the type. If you walk past the man, you're crying, don't come around me all because I ain't going to ask you what's wrong, you know. And then when we get off work, you know, what's going on? What's wrong? And don't be tough. Like, you don't got to be tough. What's wrong?

You know, you're quiet. What's going on? Where's your funny? Where are you? What's happening? Why are you not right? And I can tell what's going on, you know? Yeah.

That makes me feel better. Makes me feel good. You know, because these are like, in my opinion, oh, geez, man, I've been doing this shit for so long. No, we didn't learn this the way y'all learned, but it's still hard, it's still new, and it's like shit, it's like being thrown in, you know? But what I do realize is, you know, to wrap it up, like, it's still other days, you know, it's always the next day,

it's always tomorrow, if you don't get it right today, you know, you got another day to get it right. And we just people try to wing this shit. You know what I mean? We just people. So, yeah. Just heard somebody say that today about yesterday about somebody. Oh, we were talking about a friend of mine who's super successful. And she just did something kind of nuts.

And one of our friends was like, what's wrong? You're human? Right. You're showing that you're human? Because we all fall. Yeah. We're all just trying our best out here. Curl.

By the way, you answered that question amazingly. I know. I think I was right. I did not. I didn't want it. You didn't want it, but you needed it. You didn't want it, but you needed it. There we go.

The dinner bowl will get you every time. Right. Damn. And I was watching episodes. I'm like, shit, watch. I'm going to pick a good question. And I'm going to ace this shit whole time. I'm up to this motherfuckerking.

I know. But damn, I ain't want to get all deep. Oh, Brett. I was trying to hold it together because we can't both be here. I'm crying. You know why I felt that too? And we probably feel it, too. It's like, we all go through those moments where we're like,

Like, somebody judges you or they want you to be a different version of yourself. And we're like, am I okay? Am I enough? Am I good enough? Am I something wrong with me? Yeah. Like, even if we don't show it, we all have those internal feelings sometimes. And it's like, you were just thrown in the fire.

So it's on overload. And so I feel you on that. I'm so proud of you that you are fighting and continue to fight through that. Thank you. So you're so worth it. Thank you. Yeah, it's good. I'm not going to make you cry again.

Sorry. I'm not going to. I know, right? I appreciate it, though, for real. Yeah, you're so dope. Hey, guys, you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price? And then a few months later, it's like, surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that.

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note segment here. You know this from the IRL podcast. This is a listener or a fan of the show or a friend. Let's have it. Hi, Jess. I've been seeing somebody for almost a year now and he's asking me questions about when he's going to be introduced to my child. How do you know when it's a good time to introduce your new partner to your child? Mm, good question. Yeah, that is a good question. I actually talk about this in the book. Because what I did, what I did, what I thought was wrong.

Now, looking back, I was introducing my son to everybody. You were? Yes, girl. And it was like, I'm... Who is? Like, my son was literally like, who is this? You know what I mean? And I wasn't even dating good guys, like great guys.

I'm not going to say they weren't great. They weren't great for him. My son, I was, I was dicking selfishly. But were you introducing them as your boyfriend or just like my mommy's friend? Oh, yeah, my friend. Like, yeah, no. And a lot of them wasn't even around, like, long enough to become boyfriends, but, like, I wouldn't introduce my son to. Oh, gosh.

Like, I feel bad even talk about it now, but I did do that. And when I met my husband, this is, like, the answer to the question. When I met my husband, I felt like I had went through all the bad seeds. I knew what not to do in this relationship. So I was like, all right, cool. I asked him questions about, because he wasn't a parent. I gave my husband his first child.

So I was asking him like, like, how are you good? How are you with kids? How are you with conflict resolution with baby daddies? Like, you know, have you ever dealt with somebody with a kid? Because I know you don't have kids. How was you bought up? Mark, you know, like, does your mom and your dad speak? Do you speak to your father?

do you speak to your mother? You know what I mean? Like just certain things. And you'll be able to see rather quickly what type of person you dealing with, you know? And it took me like four months to introduce my husband to my son, although I knew I was going to be with him before that. It was just a feeling I had. I still was very cautious approaching that meetup because I'm like, well, Ashton seen so many just clown-ass dudes, yo, come in and out.

This one got to be right, because I can't keep doing this shit. He's going to get older, and he's going to be like, all right, mine, yeah, you tripping. Like, what the hell? You know, so to answer her question, you got to get to know. It is no time to put on it just when you feel like you've asked all the questions and you can see. that he's a good guy, that he or she is a good, because, you know, this is for guys, too. You got to, you really have to do evaluations these days, man. It's like on the first date, on those first three dates, you got to get to know the person.

Don't just be on the phone. Please don't, don't take pictures. Oh, look where he bought me at. Like, look, he took me. Look, y'all. I'm at Roof Chris. Like, nah, nah, nah, really get to know that man, especially if you got children and you come as a package. You are a package.

You have to realize. I mean, you have to approach dating as a package. And that's what I didn't do. That's what I learned. What a good question is to get to know that man. Oh, like, how are you with your, were you raised in a two-parent home? And it's okay if they weren't because just because you are raised in a two-parent household, don't mean you won't be fucked up.

I know some fucked up people who have three parents in the house. It don't matter, you know? It's about what you're taught, like morally. Does this person align with you, you know? Like me and my husband are equally yoked. We read the Bible together. We pray together. Like he asked me about my faith on the first day.

Oh, that's good. Do you have God? That nigga asked me, was I of an therapy? I was like, damn, I'm fucked. Like, do you think I'm messed up? He was just like, no, I just want to know. Like, this comes from me just dating anybody. So I'm like, oh, damn.

So we both have done that. The difference is I got a kid. So I want to make sure you're right. So you have to ask about their parents, how they were raised. If they were raised by grandparents, what did they see? how do they resolve conflict? Are they still the same person when they're angry? Because seeing somebody angry,

you kind of get to see, okay, do I still feel like you love me when you're angry? How do you handle arguments? Like, are you going to try to hit below the belt so bad where I can't even, I can't even come back from some shit you said? You know what I mean? Because you're so busy trying to win the argument, like all those things. You know, you've got to evaluate these people, man, Because making your own people, that's hard.

That's really hard. You've got to approach that, like, more careful than you approach marriage. Because marriage is in, relationships and contracts in, but parenting doesn't. You know what I mean? That's like a life sentence that you, that you, you know, without the negative connotation like that, that's a life sentence that you do. You know, get to know the person. Yeah. Yeah.

Good questions, though, Jen. That's good questions. Speaking of questions, let's go to our RRL questions. Oh. In real life, Jess, when I walk in a room, I want people to feel. I can relate to her. I can relate to her. She's funny, but Jess is, she's so many different layers.

She has so many different layers. I can relate to her. What's the last piece of great advice someone that's given you? Don't accept being canceled because you're not really. ever cancel. Don't accept it. As soon as you accept it, then that's when you start living that,

that you're canceled. You can't be canceled. Just a few people made in the comments. That don't mean you canceled. Who told you that? Comedian Nate Jackson. One of my good friends, man. Like, yeah, comedian Nate Jackson told me that.

So, yeah. What are your in real life pet peeves or triggers? Oh, my gosh. No, my dog Yeah, like, first of all, I don't like, my husband will be so mad. I do not like when like,

now I love little cute stuff him feeding me, but don't blow my food because then that's breath. Like, I do not like when somebody blow their breath on your food. Like, I don't even like doing that to my kids, like,

like, oh my gosh, like. The breath. Do not blow your breath. What are you doing on your birthday? Don't pull it off. I know. I don't even, I don't even eat the cake. You don't.

Especially if the kids, Like, if the kid look bad, look bad, I know their breath stink. Do not blow your candles out and then think my kids going to eat this cake. Because, ew. You know what I'm saying? What is wrong with you? I do not know. I don't like that, though, Angie.

It's something about the, like, oh, my God. What happened? I don't like that. Don't blow my food. Yeah, you're so funny. What is your real life superpower? Ooh, resilient. I'm resilient.

I bounce back from almost anything. Almost anything. What is something that you are still working on in real life? Hmm. My delivery. My delivery. Oh, that's a great answer. Yeah.

I can't change my accent, but I can work on how I deliver things. It can be very intimidating sometimes, you know, and I can say something and people will receive it more harshly because of how I deliver it. Because you can convey the same message, but it's different ways to say it. Yeah, my delivery. What do you pray for most? Hmm. Balance.

Healthy balance with me being a wife, mom, comedian, stand-up comedian, radio host. Now I'm live on Netflix. That's the worst thing to do is be live for me. I know that changes a game. Child, what? I'm like, damn, now if I'm my mom. mad, I just got to go in the bathroom, you know, but. Wow.

Yeah, just finding balance, like a healthy balance so I can be everywhere at the same time or try my best to be. And be present, right? And be present. Yeah. Yeah, balance. How's that going for you? It's going.

I don't know how it's going, but it's going. I'm trying. Really trying. What do you still want to accomplish? Like, what is, it doesn't have to be a bucket list. Yeah. What's just something that you're still... I want more people to know who I am.

Like, I've been doing this shit since I was, well, since 2014. It's 11 years, like 2015, yeah, like 11 years. And I still feel like I haven't scratched the surface in stand-up comedy where everybody knows who I am. Like, you know, people know of Jess Alarish. People got an idea. A lot of people know me, but I want way more people to know who I am through my comedy.

That's why I can't wait to drop my special. But it has to be special. That's the whole plane of a special. Like, and that's where I'm going to introduce who I am. I want the world to see that. I'm funny as shit. Talk your shit, Jess. I'm really funny, yo.

And I give you that 90s raw feel of comedy. Like, comedy is supposed to be limitless. And I feel like it can't be a ceiling put on comedy, you know. And that's the best introduction to me. Like, if all else fails, you know, breakfast club is gone or whatever is gone. This is going. Take this away. Their stage will always be there.

Like, for me to go and stand up and make people laugh. Like, I'm a vacation away from people's work life, kids, going through something to your marriage. friendships fucked up, whatever, like, I can make you laugh about, I can make people laugh about anything. You've always been like that, too, huh? Yes, yes. Since a kid. Yes, since I was like seven, I will say that.

My mom told me it was a funeral. My great-great-uncle was my mom's great-uncle that passed away and, you know, the week, right, when everybody walking down the line to see who's in the casket and all of that. And I was real cool with this uncle, and my mom said, I was like, while she was crying and saying her last words to Uncle Reggie. I looked up. I was like, Daddy Uncle Reggie, why is he great? Like, that ain't who I saw alive

the other day? And I'm like, I was seven and eight. She was like, yes. And I whipped your ass. Because I was crying. That was my favorite uncle, and you made your cousins laugh. And everybody, I'm like, we're in a goddamn funeral. She whipped my ass with, she said, I knew that's when you were

going to be funny and courageous. And I was like, damn, at a funeral, shit, that's what's up. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know, because, you know, niggas die every day. But it's like, damn. If you can make somebody laugh at a funeral, oh, you got it, you good. She must be proud.

She is. She is. She still be like, you did not have to say that. But she'd be laughing, yeah. Yeah. And your son is showing signs of comedy too late. Oh, my God. Yes.

He's a little too real. I'm like, damn, you know what I mean? But yeah, I'm very excited. I'm excited for what? for people to know who I am. Yeah. I love that. More people to know who I am.

All right. Our final question, our IRL question, you know what it is? No. What? You said it. You got all excited. Like you know what it was.

Now I'm just excited to fucking be it. It's in the ball, but if people don't pick it, I ask it anyway because it's my favorite question. Okay. If God were to text you, you know, this question. Yeah.

What would it say? What would the text say? I did not tell you to do that shit. Don't keep lying on me. I did not tell you to do that shit. Yeah, that's what he would literally text me that, like a few times out the week. I used God for everything.

Like, yeah, I was like, God moved me to know I didn't. I didn't tell you to do that. No, don't lie, nigga. Like, I'm telling you, he would talk to you. Is that how God talks to you? Yeah, yeah, I receive it just like that. Yeah, yeah. He raised me in Baltimore and that's how I feel like I've been receiving him.

Very Baltimore-ish. Yeah, yes. Me and God got our own love language. I'd be like, no, I know I have to. I fucked up in that. You know, I did. I know I did. I'm going to just say it was because of you.

I, for real. He's like, cut it out. Yup. Like, for real. Get your shit together. Just hilarious in real life. This is just hilarious in real life. Hey guys, thanks for watching.

Make sure you subscribe, like, comments, and check out all of the other episodes we have on Andrew Martinez, IRL podcast. This is Michael Rappaport, and my podcast, the I Am Rappaport Stereo podcast, is unlike anyone you've ever heard. If you're looking for strong opinions about sports, entertainment, politics, pop culture,

and whatever else catches my attention, then subscribe now. This kid, Jafar Jackson, should absolutely positive, get nominated for his portrayal as Michael Jackson. Listen to I Am Rap Report on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Can superstars even exist the way they used to? 2016 was sort of that last era of monoculture, where we still consume things in community.

Everybody wanted to be Beyonce at that point. I don't think we'll ever see another beyond. What does it mean to be black and eat in America? You will never make me feel bad for being a black girl, for being a black American girl, ever. From music to food to the conversations shaping black culture right now, therapy for black girls is bringing it all to the mic. Listen to therapy for black girls on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, my love. I'm Ryan Weiss, and for the past 15 years, I've been an emotional intelligence coach and a spiritual guide,

and I'm sharing with you my new podcast, Waking Up with Ryan. Waking Up with Ryan is a daily audio video podcast here to help you connect with yourself before the noise of the day takes over. So let's start our days together with a moment of calm that's just for you. Listen to Waking Up with Ryan on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why do some women yearn for Shakira's black hair to make a comeback? And whatever happened to the power couple of my dreams, Mariah Carey and Luis Miguel, I'm Maria Garcia. You may remember me from my podcast,

Anything for Selena, or My Thiebel. And now I'm back to unpack more stories from the present and the past. Listen to Mui Excited with Maria Garcia on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.