Joe and Jada - Angie Martinez IRL - Michelle Buteau: Body Confidence, IVF & No Regrets

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Comedian, actress, and best-selling author, Michelle Buteau sits down with Angie Martinez to talk about her break into the standup comedy world, converting her best-selling book of essays into the Netflix series ‘Survival of the Thickest,’ and how she found love organically without using dating apps. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt...All lines provided by ‪Hard Rock BetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave, Netflix, and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.

The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, A.O. rewatch, our brand new podcast, where we revisit. every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined

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legendary musician, Amy Man, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song about it. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that.

Listen to Podlandia. AEO rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Nick Tuturo. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lease Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Tatourl, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing, my belt? To Bill Burr.

I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up. including the great John Tuturo. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Totoro.

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Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Let me introduce you properly, please. Oh, shit, yes. Let's get professional here. Let's do it. Let's be very serious and professional. Today's guest has built a career of telling it like it is. From beauty standards to dating to motherhood,

she has never been afraid to say the quiet part out loud. And make us laugh while she's doing it. She's carved out a lane that is entirely her own from making history as the first woman to film a comedy special at Radio City Musical. That's right. That's pretty cool. Thank you so much. To adapting her best-selling essay collection into the hit

Netflix series Survival of the Thickest, she is now back for her third and final season. Please welcome Michelle Boutotow, the aisle. Also, I gotta tell you. What? It's not a New York Times bestselling book. It's a bestselling book. Yeah, but I don't. It's somebody's bestselling book.

But I love that people think it's the bestselling, because it sold pretty well, but it parlayed into something bigger than I could have imagined. And so that's why I always tell people don't. do something for a list. Wow. Do it the way you want to do it. And the time when the books came out and it wasn't and it didn't hit New York Times bestseller.

Did you think of that as something like you didn't achieve a certain? No, I learned that it worked for you. But in the moment, sometimes we want something that we think is the important thing. I never, I never wanted it. Like, I didn't mind if it happened, but I don't like when people put an

unrealistic expectation on something that hasn't happened yet. That's like, I can't wait to have sex, I hope I have an orgasm. Why don't you just enjoy the moment instead of worrying about the competition of it? So if you have sex and don't have an orgasm, are you disappointed? No, because I'll figure out how to get there, but I'm just happy that I did the act because now sex for me is more about like mental health than anything.

We can go down this road today. Did we have got a seatbelt? I got an emotional seatbelt. I know the sound guy is just like, uh-oh. But I also Don't do something for a list Don't do something for a list But always have an orgasm

But always have an orgasm But if you don't Know that you can still Yes And enjoy the process That's pretty good Yeah Your process has been a long one

It has I said this to Brittany before we came in I was like You know being on your show It's not the first time I met you And you don't remember The first time we met I'm gonna remind you right now

And you're gonna remember It was 2013 We were... Wendy Williams? No, we were both guests on the Bethany. Oh my God, my Godine show. In 2013, we were on some panel talking about God knows what. Yeah.

But when I think about this, number one, I just pulled up the picture today and my hair is... I can't even believe somebody left me on TV with my hair. You were the cute, super cutest. You were, I promise. I'm going to show you the picture. It was very cute. Okay. I can't remember for the life of me what we talked about.

Right. But I remember the feeling at that time. Me, I was probably still chasing dreams of having my own talk show. I still thought that was something I needed or wanted at that time. Right. That later changed. But that feeling of like, and then seeing you at that stage in your career where you're like, comedian, successful, but I could feel you chasing something.

Yes. That's the only reason we would both be there. Yes. The hunger, the light. It was a New York show, and I do love that Bethany opened up her show, her panel to people that didn't look like her that had different voices than her. And that's what made it a really great New York show. I remember meeting you and I was just like, I can't believe I'm here. No, stop.

No, truly, because, you know, I grew up listening to you. And so you've shaped like some of my, you know, adulthood, my. youth going into adulthood, right? And so I'm just like, I can't believe, like, I really feel like that was kind of like a little, like I made it mark when I started sitting on stages with people that I admired. So that was really cool. And I ride for Bethany because I remember doing her show, didn't have any money, but go to Macy's to buy blazers and then return them right after I did the show. And one blazer I wore, it was like a cape blazer. And it was cool. Didn't button. You got makeup on it?

No. Macy's returns everything, by the way. Really? Even with the makeup. You don't even need receipt. And I remember her saying

that that blazer is nice on you. I'm like, it's $110. I can't afford it. And she's like, you should keep it. And I'm like, Bethany, I'm not you. I can't afford it. And as I was packing up to go,

one of her assistants gave me cash out of the petty cash. And she said, Bethany said, this blazer looks good on you. Oh my God. And the blazer doesn't fit, but I still have it.

So did you return it and still keep the money? No. No. No. I just wonder. You still have it? You still have it? That's a sweet story.

Yeah. Okay, Bethany. I know. Bethany gets a lot of shit because she's like free with her mouth sometimes and pisses people off sometimes. Yeah. And as I said to you, when you walked in, one of the things I admire about you and women like you, it's comedians especially. You have to have, like, created a world where people expect you to say whatever you want to say. Yeah.

And I don't always do that. I'm a little more careful. I care about people's feelings. And I feel like there's such a, I have to be kind of diplomatic and I try to be, you know. And sometimes you just want to let them know. I want to let motherfuckers know.

Yeah. I get that. And I'm not saying I can't or I wouldn't. It's just sometimes I haven't really created, I do create a platform where I could share and be vulnerable and be honest. I always try to be honest. Yeah.

But when I feel like being petty or talking some shit, like I don't necessarily feel that that would be received too well because something else is expected. It might be healing. For me? And for others. For others? Yeah, for everybody. Because you have to like, sometimes you just got to get it out. Now, like, look, the good thing about comedy is, I am going to say the thing, but I'm also going to keep people's feelings in mind. And I think that is a huge difference between punching up or down. What am I saying it and who am I saying

it about and what am I saying it for? And also, I'm going to make it for. And also, I'm going to make it funny, which is like what a gift, but sometimes you just got to say that shit. You got to let motherfuckers know. I'm not the one, about the two. Have you ever said that shit and regretted it? Sure. Yeah. Not in a special.

Not in a comedy special. No. By the time you get to the comedy special, I said what I said. Sometimes I name names. But I'm a good person. You know, and people make, you know, people make mistakes. Okay. You know, but sometimes you just got to say that shit.

Yeah. Say that shit. Sometimes you just got to say that shit. If you have a platform and you can speak up for people that can't speak up for themselves. Yeah, that I get for sure. Say that shit. Yeah. I'm talking about the shit that is like, doesn't really help anybody.

That's the shit I don't say. I like that shit. That's it. I'm not necessarily afraid to say some wild shit if I think it's for the good and going to help somebody. Right. But just to talk shit and be petty and be funny, I think, I don't know. I admire people who do that. Yeah.

Who are so free to just say what I'm not. I really miss Wendy Williams. I think Wendy was the prime example of that. She would say shit with no regard for how it would hit the ground. And then have him as a guest on like a month later and roll the video back. It's like, oh my God. Yeah, so funny. One of one, like truly.

A-Crow one time. Legit A-Crow. Yeah. Has anybody ever ran up on you about something you said? Has it ever rubs it all right around? Yeah. Yeah, a few times. Not a story you want to share today.

Not really. Did you see the look at my face? I was like, I felt it. I would say, I pay attention to vibes. I felt that. She was like, please, God, no. Not a good idea. Yeah.

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after that, 2013 when you were married? I was married 2010. Oh, wow, 2010. Okay. So, but you're 16 years married now. Yes. You got a hit show. Yeah. A hit show. Yeah. It's not a small thing. I think. it's pretty amazing, right? Yeah, I got to take it in sometimes. You do? I do, because when you're so busy taking these bricks and building this house of love and opportunity, sometimes you're like, ooh, my back, my shoulder, and you can't see what it is. And then all of a sudden, one day you wake up and it's a beautiful house and everyone's left.

And so now the end of season three feels like I'm empty nester, you know? however people describe that feeling is what I feel. Like, this has been my whole life. Like, I started coming up with the idea of writing a book in 2015. So to see where it is now and everybody is, you know, happily and happily on their way, I'm like, this is really nice. I just need a minute to, like, take it in. You know, a hit show.

One hundred and 91 countries, you know, over 300 million subscribers to Netflix is not a small thing. And so I have to constantly take that in. I can't imagine. Oh, I'd imagine. First of all, even getting that. Yeah. And then looking at and thinking about where you were in 2013 with dreams of this, right?

Yes. It's like, I wondered for you, because when I see people like you who work so hard for something, there's been things in my life that I've worked so hard for, and then you get it. Yeah. For some people, it's the,

it's the dream. Some people, it's a weird experience because it's like, once you achieve the thing that you think, this is the thing that I'm going to chase my whole life.

This is the thing that's going to make me happy. And I'm going to feel successful. And somebody goes, okay, here's the thing. Yeah. Do you feel the things you're supposed to feel? I feel like the minute

I made it was when I went on stage, September 14th, 2001. That's like the first time I grabbed that mic and I was like telling some jokes about being bink boned and rides at Disney World. This is one of my first jokes. Rides at Disney World remind me of my ex-boyfriend, three hours of waiting for a two-minute ride. I thought it was a very good joke. I think it still holds up, you know, in the pool, my finger kind of world. And that was a moment where I felt like true freedom and liberation from all the like,

chapters of my life that I had to be, like, had to straighten my hair and go to Aunt Taylor Lovd and have like a certain amount of money in my bank account and look for this type of man. And that was like a thing where I just felt free the minute I grabbed that mic. And so everything else has been pretty damn good. Now, a TV show to get something greenlit is like amazing, right? And it's like one idea out of many that you pitched. And then for people to respond to it, it's even better. And, you know, the whole thing is like, well, you just have to keep going. Then what else? Because people are responding to what you're doing, which is nice. And what I am doing is being myself, which is great. You know, there's so many people in my life that still don't know how

to be themselves. And we're all entering our 50s. And I'm like, when is it going to happen then? When you retire and get a hip replacement? Is that when you're going to start living for you and being yourself? You know, so like, I feel like no matter how tired I am or no matter like how frustrated I am with like whatever it is. Like I'm still doing me. But also like when I get wrapped up in like what I don't have and frustrated about shit. It's just, it's just like patriarchal shit. It's just like, I don't have these numbers. But who says those numbers are important? You didn't reach these numbers. But look at all the DMs of the hearts that I touched. What about those numbers? So every time I actually do catch myself being upset about something,

it's a made-up fucking thing that someone's told me I should care about. And, um, yes. Like, no one told me, but I had to realize that for myself. I'm just like, why is this important again? Why is this important again? Like I understand you have to make money. Yeah. We can make money if you promote me well. Promote me like you promote all those other, you know, little white boys. Or I killed my wife.

Mysteries. You know what I mean? Oh my God. The documentaries about missing women, it's like protect women. It's not making these documentaries then. Right? Don't go on a cruise. No offense.

Just not go on a cruise. You ain't got to come back. That's crazy. Don't be, don't get in a fight and then go on a cruise. For sure. Oh my God. Get yourself a tracking device. Of course.

Those buffets aren't worth it. No. Oh my God. I'm not a cruise girl. I've never been a cruise girl. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why subconsciously. Yeah.

Protect yourself. You said something about, um, oh, knowing yourself, getting to know yourself. Yeah. When did that happen for you? Yeah, I think it's a slow burn for everybody. But for me, it happened around the people that I really love and trust. So whether it's a cousin or friends or a teacher, you know, like I felt like going to an all-wide school in Jersey, I learned how to code switch

at a very young age. Like, this is what you do here. It's what you do over there with your friends, right? And but the more I was able to like do whatever I did with my friends, like in life, the more comfortable and successful I became. And so even like, choosing a partner or a neighborhood or whatever it is that people don't understand why I'm doing this. You know, it's like standing 10 toes down and being like, but this makes me happy. So whatever you saw for me, okay, thank you for thinking of me, but I got to see for myself now. And so I think, you know, I don't know what day or like moment I arrived to it, but it was like little by little, we just have to do us kind of vibe.

That's interesting. It's like if you're, how could you possibly really truly know yourself if you haven't served yourself? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? If you're like busy making everybody else happy or living a life, you think other people think is right for you. How could you ever know yourself if you're always accommodating?

That's right. To a version of yourself that other people see. That's a really good way to describe it. And you're just like, but how are they going to receive it? And what are they going to think? And will it make them mad? Will they be proud and happy? It's like, or also use all that energy to be like, how do I do this?

the best way I could do it for me. So stand 10 toes down. Yes. And what works for you. Yeah. There's something to that. That is the guide to being confident in yourself and knowing yourself. Because then you could, you know what it is.

No, I don't like that. Or I do like that. And this is why. And your decisions and your, yeah. And it's important, though, because it's like, not to sound all woo-woo, but it really is like, you know what I mean. Yeah. But it really is from within because I think a lot of people put like, um, so much importance on looks and possessions and, like, numbers.

Numbers, you know, do I have the right body to be accepted? Do I have the right car, neighborhood, partner, you know, just being successful could also be just being really happy with yourself. Yes. You know? Are you? Yeah. Good for you. Yeah.

Like, that doesn't mean that I'm not, you know, I wouldn't say second guess to myself, but like doing things a different way or I could have done it this better. I could have done this better or handled it that way because, like, you know, you don't know to know, right? And I think if you're doing life right, you're like in an experience that you've never been in before. Because that's nice because then you're like always learning, right? But for the most part, yes. So when people tell me no or don't get me, then I realize that I am not for them

and they're probably not for me. But no matter what, like, I got me. Like, I know what's good for me. And you don't then wait, don't waste your time trying to serve them. At all. At all. Yeah, good for you.

And that goes for like, very immediate family members. I heard you. Okay. Get Bell, Purify. Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability.

Bell, connection is everything. I'm Nick Tuturo. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the longest yard, or Spike Lease Black Klansman. But I'm also from Queens, which means I know pizza. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Totoro, I deliver pizza from Prince Street pizza to a new guest. Are you delivering pizza now? Then we sit down for a real conversation.

I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing, my belt? To Alex Rodriguez. Just to let you people know, we're talking to one of the goats here. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Tuturo. It's called happiness.

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I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo roer

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Apple Podcasts. Or wherever you go. Get your podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, The Chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years,

but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea?

We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody.

Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write. write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What were the things before you became this person or you had confidence in this person? What were the things that people wanted from you? I would imagine.

Oh my goodness. To do with all types of things. Like you said, body size, hair. Yeah. I think a lot of people would be very. happy with me if I wasn't as loud, if I wasn't as vulgar, if I was thinner, if I had straighter hair, if I covered up my freckles, if I, you know, if I was just more dainty and demure. But that's not for me.

Imagine you spent your whole life trying to be all of those things. How could you be happy? I couldn't. No. It'd be a prison. You know how many people are walking around life in that prison? A lot. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm glad that they find my show. Yes. Oh, God. I can only imagine the responses that you've gotten from people. It's pretty great. From people. Yeah.

It's pretty, it's like heartfelt but also jarring. That like from people in their teens to like in their 70s. What is it though? What are they saying? I mean, a lot of overall. like people not giving themselves the license to be who they are want to be, love who they want to be, you know, finding joy, happiness, a spark. So many women from so many different countries are like, I'm going to stop wearing black.

I'm going to try color now. Oh, I love that. Isn't that insane? Yes. But then it's also like, this is the first time I've left since my daughter died or my husband's cancer came back. Oh. And especially with this season. people are you know the season has resonated with people in a different way you know down to like

health care you know and the access to health care and the shame that you know doing IVF or whatever kind of treatment you need comes with and that people don't know how to talk about it and and they feel bad that they even have to it's so insane um and i'm so glad i chose to tell that that story because I also don't like to live in regret. And like I don't like to live in regret in like probably a very unhealthy way where I will order half the menu just so I can see it because I don't want food envy. You know what I mean? I don't want to go home and think I should have ordered that. So I want to see what all the appetizers look like. Yeah. I mean? So I will order two meals because I don't want regret. I won't, I'll take one home. Like I'm not going to like,

you know, it's on a food eating contest. But like I just have to know life is too short. We're not problems tomorrow. And so these messages of people, and even take IVF out of it, you know, like beautiful non-binary and trans people, figure out how to get access to whatever kind of health care they need, understanding what it's like, pumping their body up with hormones and not feeling like themselves on the journey to being themselves, you know, doing whatever you have to do that's physically possible to have the life that you want. You know, that's like, but still, making it funny. Still making it funny and still making the characters whole. Yeah. You know, we were talking about that earlier about the show. It's like,

there's been, there's been lots of shows and people who have been public about, especially just like, you know, weight and body shaming and side. But I feel like the, the way you guys do it is so, it's not the main, it's not the headline. Yeah. It's in there. Yes. But it's not, it's just part of the story. It's not necessarily, And it's not done in a way where it's like condescending. You know, sometimes people, yes. I don't know if I'm saying this right. You are.

You are just thinking back to when you were on set because, you know, it's such like a New York moment to like go on like a very popular like a radio show podcast and go on the line stand and think it's going to be one thing. I loved coming to that show. And you were so good at it. For those of you have not seen my episode, it was excited too. I played, I played. to be on the dawn.

I'm on the dawn. The podcast host and you were the guest and I had a little gotcha moment on the show. It was so much fun and the cast

and the crew so many women on set yes. You could just tell that the love was poured into this project. You could feel it on set. Oh good.

I'm so glad you felt that. And I hated leaving. I was only there. I was only one there and I wasn't like enough right. You too Brit. We were there

and we were like we want to come back here every day. And so I can only imagine for you, God, to be, was it like that all the time or did we just have an incredible experience? It was like that all the time. Wow. Since day one. Well, fun, fun, funny, collaborative.

Everybody there wants to be there. Yes, everybody has your back. How do we make it better? This is a long day. Let's do this together type. How do you create that world or that environment of people that feel that way? You just, you are that way, right? Like it starts from the top.

And I'm number one on the call sheet. You know, I'm the co-creative. the show and starring in it. And so, you know, what is that saying? Happy wife, happy life? Yeah. I'm the wife. And yes, we could talk about weight and fat phobia and transphobia and all that stuff and like gender bending fuckery and all that stuff. But like we are so much more than our size. We are so much more than our shape and our shade and all that. But we are also very much stronger together. And so I'm like, how do we do it? Like, how do we address it but still keep it moving?

Mm-hmm. You know? Yes. Don't sit in it. And that's the thing about comedy, too. And also, like, live, just a live space. It's timing, you know? Yeah.

You got to hit it and move on. Yeah. You know, hit it and quit it. Move on. Why are we sitting here? Yes. You know? Because then you become, you're serving just this one thing.

Yes. And really, if you're doing that, you're probably doing it for everyone else. Because authentically to you, yes. You're not sitting around thinking. about that all day. Not at all. I'm trying to sit and spin on somebody, well, my husband, but still, and also like, also like, you know, you have to be confident in, like, what you're saying. Yeah. Say the thing and move on. And move on. You know? It's like when I first started stand-up, everybody was like, oh, we got, we're going to switch it up now. We got a female coming to the stage.

That means a lady. I was like, why are you doing this whole biology? What do we, they could tell She has a vagina. Oh, no, you gotta listen to. We got it. Move on. You ain't got to see Michelle but tow. We got a lady. We're switching up.

It's like, just get me on the stage. Fuck up. Say the thing and move on. The thing is my name. Move on. You know what I mean? So it's like that. It's like, say the thing and move on.

Move on. Such a good job at it. So speaking of sitting on your husband. You clearly like sitting on your husband. You've made it 16 years. years. Yeah. That's pretty great. Yeah. And he's so great. Like, I just love a man that just loves me down wholly and lets me sit on his face. That's so sweet. You like that? That was good. It's so sweet. That's really sweet. I love that for you. I think it's a match. I love that for you.

Yeah, I really like him. I like him. Oh, my God. I like hanging out with him. I know. That's the best. You know what's so fascinating about this to me. Why? What? You started, this was a one-night stand. Yes. This is not how normally the story goes. See, this is the problem. You set out false expectations. So then women think, oh, I'm going to go have this one-night stand.

It'll probably be my husband for 16 years. Well, don't think that. I didn't say all that. I didn't write a book for it to be like a New York Times best seller. I just wrote a book. Right. You know, just put love into it. It's whatever it is.

I liked a really nice one-night stand. Like, I like, you know, all the love you put in a relationship. I'm putting a one night stand. Were you a one night stand girl or was this like a rare... Did my mom ask you to ask that question? She did. She called. Or was this the first time you'd ever had one?

And it just so happened. He was the one. Miss ma'am. Okay. But I'm just saying. Miss ma'am. Okay. You've seen the hips.

They don't lie. No, this, yeah, it just so happened. It's so happened. Yeah, it was like musical chairs, but with dicks. And then you saddled the right one. And then I won. Good for you. Thank you so much.

What was the thing? How did you know this was the right chair? I didn't. I just felt safe and it was horny. Now, you know, I didn't just wake up one day and say I am a fan of one night stands. Like I had, I took life way too seriously when I was younger. I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex. And I had like very serious boyfriends in high school and college that both cheated on me. And I was like, I'm torn up. And in high school, it was like a really good friend, one of my best friends. And so I was like torn up. And so what I see my friends going through in their 40s and 50s getting a divorce, it's like what I went through. I was listening to Anita Baker and all types of stuff at like 16, 17. I should have a bob and a cigarette being like, you know, I was waiting to exhale

in high school. It was horrible. But I wouldn't trade it for anything now on the other side because I kind of, you know, of like was Benjamin Button with like dating. And so in college, I also was like, I wish you get married and I love you and I have your back and your family is my family. And then when he cheated on me, I was like, maybe I just do me. And I didn't like dating. I like doing stand-up. I like working. I like making money. I like doing me. And that's how I met him. Wow. Because I didn't have the expectation of this is a date. What do you do? Where are you from? What's your job? What do you

want to do? I felt like a manager on LinkedIn looking for an employee when I was dating. I was like, I want to hang out with my friends, you know, let lose, order half the menu, get a little tipsy, talk shit, you know, twerk a little bit, go home, you know? And again, I love stand-up and I felt like there was no dating is like a second job. Now, you should go out on dates. If that's your thing, do that. I think you should go out on dates with people because you have to see how they act in public. Do they have manners? How do they treat the weight staff? Do they chew like a cow? Oh, you know? Problematic. Gross. Really gross. Like no table manners? I can't put my face in your crotch. You know what's so funny is that I've said this before. I've thought this before.

But I don't think people prepare young people for heartbreak at that level. Yeah. And we all like, oh, in high school, I got my heartbroken. And you say it like it's a no big deal. So if I'm in high school and I see that, I think, oh, it's no big deal. I think when it happens to a young person so intensely like that. Yeah. They're not really prepared for it.

You're not. And it shapes you. It shapes you. Yeah. Because what I remember is life as I knew it was completely different. the next day. So you were all in. I was all in.

You believed the fairy tale or the, not fairy tale, but you believe, yeah, I guess fairy tale. But I believed people. I didn't think people could lie to me. I believed people.

Like he was my Santa. Like I believed him. Like I also was like converting to Islam for him. Like I believed him. And then I realized, oh, people can lie.

And outside of that, I realized, people lie, but that's because they're lying to themselves. They want to be the version of the person that they want to be, but don't know how to do it truthfully. And that means having hard conversations and also maybe not liking yourself for a little bit. And then I realized after that, like, oh, this is about you, not me. I have to, like, be my most authentic self.

Because if I'm trying to make you happy, then I'm also like, lying. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. That experience, though, sometimes could make women not trust again or it be hard to jump into a relationship or a marriage or. Yes. But you decided to at some point, your husband, I guess, convinced you or? I mean, I'm not going to lie. Like, it was long distance for a very long time for almost two years. And I didn't even know where Holland was on a map. So I was like, how do I trust this guy? I don't. even know how to say his name. Like, you know, I'm like fly.

We're doing long distance and Holland is also very different too because like, you know, it's not as like, there is not as, how do I describe it like sexual there? Like there isn't this emphasis on like sexuality. Yes. And misogyny and stuff. So like even the spas are co-ed. Like bodies are just bodies and people are just like friends with people. And I'm like, you are friends with your exes.

that's weird, but it's a smaller country. And so you're just going to know who you're going to know. And I'm like, okay. So it took me a long time to like fully trust him, but bigger picture, like the process of giving your heart to someone. But I'm glad I did because it worked out. You know, there was a choice where I was like, I could be upset about all this, but I know I'm amazing.

So why am I feeding into this like jealousy bullshit? And I don't want to be jealous. That's like road rage. It's such a wasted emotion. And it's like, for what and for who? And at some moment and looking in his eyes and believing him and knowing how I felt about him, I'm like, jealousy really doesn't serve me. And it's really like a thing that happens when people haven't realized their power yet. And I'm like, bitch, realize your power.

Like, you guys are good together. Aw. You know? Yes. It's important. It's important to, we're always naming the bad stuff. Like, name the shit. You should make a story about this. I feel like this could be like your next show. No? Give them this stuff to do. Could this not be your next show? No stains. What do you mean?

One thing at a time. All right, fine. Okay. You have nothing. Do you have a plan for after the show's over? No. No, I don't. You don't? I don't. I don't. I don't. I mean, the show is over, right? But you're still promoting it. You're still in, you're still, you're still, you're still, you're still, you're still, you're still. Yeah, I'm still definitely like connected and working and Yeah. Promoting it and But I don't usually I have a follow up

right away but this took so much out of me especially like directing a very personal episode that I'm I've decided to give myself time to enjoy and also rest and heal from this whole process.

Yeah, good for you. Yeah, because jumping into like very dark, traumatic moment. in your life for art can be dangerous. And Kim Wyn, one of my directors, you know, she was like, be careful because once you hit that other side, sometimes it's hard to like come back. And so I remember that going in. And when I tapped into it, I was like, oh, I get it.

Because for three days, I was just crying. Wow. And I would be ordering my lunch. I'm like, asparagus and like, generous. Oh. But everyone's like, okay, got it. You okay? Yeah.

Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.ca for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. I'm Nick Tuturo. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the longest yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. But I'm also from Queens, which means I know pizza. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Totoro, I deliver pizza from Prince

Street, Pete. to a new guest. Are you delivering pizza now? Then we sit down for a real conversation. I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins. What are you doing my belt? To Alex Rodriguez. Just to let you people know,

we're talking to one of the goats here. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Titoro. It's called Happiness, Delivering Happiness. Mariano Rivera.

Oh my God. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Detourl. And listen now. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all?

It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what do we?

we eating. The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments to take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat. Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us, or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike, and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters,

revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall,

the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write. write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia.

Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't know what. This is a personal thing. I don't even know if I need to talk about it, but I will share this because you just said it to me. I just had an experience. And now I understand why, based on what you just told me. I didn't know what was happening to me. So I did a documentary like a year ago, is my first directing, my first thing. And my friend, the person I directed was a friend of mine. He was telling me about this experience. of making this song, he made Brooklyn's finest Jay Z. It was Clark Kent, DJ Clark Kent, right?

So I'm working on a documentary with him for like a year directing it. And he's telling me about the making of Brooklyn's finest, bringing Jay-Z and Biggie in. And the day he did this and the, how he tricked them to be in the studio together. So I could, I actually, I'm now realizing what happens to me. Yeah. I took, I had it inside me the story over telling the story so many times that I almost could see it, I can almost be present in the making of it. Yeah.

So then the other day I'm at the Jay-Z concert, and he's playing Brooklyn's finest. And I could feel something coming up, and I'm like, what is this? Like, what? He's been gone for a little while now. You know, I've cried about it. I've been fine. And so I could feel it coming up, and I realized I was seeing it the way I would imagine he would see it because it was like inside of me, right?

And so I was having that feeling. And then Jay says, shout out to a rest in peace, DJ Clark Kay. And he said that and I just like lost it. And I couldn't figure out why. It was just, I was so emotional. I couldn't figure it. And now you just explained to me what was happening. Yeah.

It's because I ingested something that sits now inside of me. Yes. And then in that moment, it kind of came back up. And so I could only imagine for you in directing an episode about IVF and having all the emotions inside of you already. Yeah. It's like you're re-ingesting it in a way. Yeah. Does that make sense?

It does. You're tapping into that. Yes. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I'd never experienced that before. So, and I didn't even know that that's what I was experiencing until you just explained it to me.

Yeah. And I didn't know. Yeah. Until it happened to me. Hmm. So what was the, did you? So why did you decide? Was it just because you know you had been through that and decided to direct that specific

episode? Well, we were telling the story about IVF. And we were trying to figure out timeline and what is useful and serves the story and what's important and honoring the story. And one day, like, like months in, months in, like we have good stories already like lined up. I just told everyone like my writer's room, I'm like, it can't just all be good. It can't just all be like shots. It's not that. like some heavy shit goes on.

You know, your eggs aren't viable. You don't have a heartbeat. You are completely, like, just insanely anxious for each appointment because you're just waiting for bad news, you know? So I'm like, there's got to be some of that in there in order for it to feel like a real story. And I'm like, I realize we're doing a comedy. Okay. It will be funny.

But the funny will be the relief, the release you feel after putting your body through that. And I did so much of it for so long and still maintained to have like a career as happy clown. So I'm like, let's just do it. We can do it. We just have to figure it out. And so we cracked the code. I can't believe we did it. But everybody was like really cool and vulnerable and willing to share and like even like put in other people's stories and like figure out how we

can like just mine the material to have it make sense. But ultimately it was the things that I went through. And I thought nobody else could direct me but me, especially through this process. Because even if somebody had four losses in five years and hundreds and thousands of dollars spent, their experience will be different than mine. So I chose the hot seat. And I'm glad I did. because now I know I already knew I could do hard things but like other hard things you know and now I know

I can go into I can go on a set and direct someone because I know what I needed for myself and I was able to do that and yeah and I would love to do that for someone who would need that

yeah what do you say to somebody who's about to go on an IVF journey or somebody maybe that's supporting someone who is in the midst of that? Yeah. Like what should we know? I mean, if you are going through an IVF journey or about to go through one, my friend Jordan Carlos told me this when my surrogate was pregnant and it was like still high risk and all the stuff. And he goes, you know, Michelle, sometimes you can have a happy ending. And so I really held up. on to that because the happy ending might not look like how you want it to be, but it's still good.

So hold on to the positive parts, you know? And for someone who knows someone going through it, I mean, all you have to do is show up and say, you okay? Are you okay? I'm here for you. You don't have to like explain or fix or overstand or like have a hard. or like have an article or a link and tell them what they shouldn't, shouldn't be doing. Eat less of this.

You don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. You don't have to be Dr. Oz. He ain't even a doctor. Oh, no. Oh, no. She said where she said what she said. I said what I said.

It was funny. Right? But yeah, just be there. Are you okay? Can I take you out for a sandwich? That's it. Whether days you were not, okay? 100.

Mm-hmm. 100%. I have never experienced that so I can understand you, but not, I don't, you know, I don't know what that process is like. It's a shit show because you're made to feel guilty for having a family in this alternative way that is not supported by health care. It is a little bit better now, but the fact that we don't have access to IVF in the way that we should, we don't have access to basic health care. The fact that we don't even have access to like, the most basic human needs is just like so insane to me. But then a lot of people don't know about it. And so there's like conversations that you can't have because then you're going to have to explain stuff to someone that you don't fully know how to explain and they can't take in.

You know, there's already shame in saying that you want a kid or that you don't want a kid, you know, instead of just like whatever you want, I want that for you, you know. Right, the basics. The basics. Yeah. And then it's just like you're too old. or you're too young, or you should lose weight, you should, like, not work as much. And, you know, and then there's, like, the feelings of shooting yourself up with hormones

and not realizing that, like, you're doing a fun scene with, is it Gina Rodriguez? Is that her name? Yes. Yes. And I love that. Jane. Yeah, Jane the Virgin.

Yeah, I did a movie with her. I was in a scene with her. I don't remember the name of the movie. It was hilarious. How do you do a movie and don't remember the name? That's fascinating. I know I had fun. Because you've done so much.

Look, as long as the check goes through. Just another day. Did you like it? Perfect. But it was supposed to be one scene, like four lines. And then we ended up improvving this whole thing. I was hopped up in hormones. I think I was like probably experienced the miscarriage at the time.

And at one point, like her boyfriend breaks up with her. I start crying because the hormones are there. But the jokes are there too. And then she starts reacting to me crying. I'm like, why he break up with you? with them big ass teeth chomping on his date why he didn't want that? And she's like, girl, what?

And I was like, grow by. And we had a tome. But, like, there's also, like, leaving that set feeling nuts. Like, what just happened? What just happened? That's why I felt at the JZ. That's why I felt at the Jay-Z concert.

Really? Yeah, because I was crying in this, I'm in the, with the Terror Squad, in the booth, in the VIP suite, and everybody's just drinking Doucet and Ace of Spades and having a good time with a Jay-Z concert. And I'm like crying. It was terrible.

But it's emotional. I know. You made me cry now. And it's history. Yeah. You know? And it's like also like, it's also remembering of like what that time was. Like that was a good time.

You know? For sure. So that's how you felt when you left the set. What did you know? You were like, what was going on with me? Yeah. Like I remember like my husband made. a sandwich and he left crumbs on the kitchen counter. And I started crying. I was like, I can't live

like this. I might need a divorce. I'm like, you don't think about me. And he was like, or is it the hormones? I'm like, oh, I like him so much. Yeah. What a good guy. He's a pretty good guy. That's pretty good. Did he say it that calmly? He did. Yeah, he did. My type of person. Well, he's a Virgo. So these earth signs be keeping me That's so good That's so good Yeah

You said something before What did you call it? The comic Oh, what did you call it? I don't know You called it a comic What you do It's like you just said it like a couple minutes ago

God I should have wrote it down Oh my God What did I say? Don't get me started It was like the comic face Or the comic I don't remember This is why I don't remember

what movies I've done. Are you like possessed? Like you just say things. Yes. I don't remember what movies I'm in. It gave me a sense that you had an idea about like how comedy, people use comedy as like a shield. It's like a, oh like to be guarding? No, like to cover up like you're being funny. Oh. Did I misread something you said totally? I don't know. I really do be forgetting stuff. Just be forgetting because we're forgetting. Do you ever drive and be like the two of us together? You don't even know what you said. I can't remember the question. Metapulsive bitch is doing the podcast.

We're crying. We're only here crying over shit. It's just stupid. It's so dumb. I know. Thank God we're an adult typo. How are you doing with age? You know what?

Because you're about to be what? I'm about to be 49. I think I'm doing okay. You know, my body's just like, I hope this person doesn't like this chair because you're about to sneeze and ruin it. Well, Other than that, like, I don't remember most things, like, where I just was and what I just said.

But other than that, but I do feel the need to, like, be as healthy as possible. I think something happens when you're an older parent. Like, my kids are seven, and I want them to get older, but the happy place is, like, I don't want to get older. I don't want to get older to, like, hold on to youth or whatever. I just want to be there for them all the time. So that's, like, the main thing about aging that I'm, like, anxious about. I just want to be there for the health of it all. Yeah, I want to be there for them.

I want to know how their day was and smell them and hold them and just have them tell me whatever story they want to tell me or just completely ignore me in a room and I'm fine with that. Are you obsessed with your children? Yeah, I might be like I'm, yeah, whatever you think of like neurodivergent people doing, that's how I am with my kids. I'm like, oh, like I just love to clean their ears and clip their toenails and braid their hair.

they're so great. I wonder sometimes like my girlfriend, Adrian, you know Adrian Houghton? She used to be on the real. Yeah. She also had IVF and then wound up having a surrogate. Oh. The way she loves on her son. Yeah.

It's because she wanted, I mean, she's just a good soul. You know, she would have probably been a great mother anyway. But something about wanting children and working so hard to be a mother. Yeah. The way motherhood hits. think it's a little different. Not to say old mothers and all. I love my kids to death too, but I'm just saying I notice in friends who have really had a difficult time getting there.

Yeah. That you experience your kids in it. I don't know. I think you do. I think that's right. I think there's like, um, there was a thing that happened when I first brought them home or like, not even brought them home, but like out in public where I didn't know. Because everyone wants to know your birth story, like right away twins had it. And you're like, it's very jarring.

It's like, do you tell people your story? It felt like it could have gone into imposter syndrome for a minute. So I'm like, these are my kids, but, but again, because of who I am, and I have to remind myself of how I live being in a new situation now in my life, in a new chapter, this is who I am, this is what happened. And I realized sharing my truth not only will educate, but also probably help someone being their truth. So I'm just like, this is what it is. And this is how they came to be. But there was a moment, too, where I was like, am I doing the most at motherhood because I didn't carry them? And now that there's seven and I'm still running myself ragged. Doing the most. Doing the most. I'm like, oh, this is who I am.

I's just like, sometimes I just like to make sweet potato waffles from scratch when I got to be somewhere at 8 a.m. I'll wake up at 6 a.m. to do it. This is who I am. I want to make sure they eat good. But just know that that might change. There's seven, but when they're 16, you might not be in that phase of life. You might be like, 100. What's the math? When they're 16, how old am I? What are you in nine years? You're going to be 58? No. Yeah. Yeah, 58. Hopefully I'll be on my like Hollyberry shit and I have to like use like a spray

to still get wet and I'll be boojing and brawis and a caftan you know getting my hair wet jumping off a boat like Beyonce and or Gabriel Union and I'll have like a really nice skincare line you know what I mean

I think my feet will still be fucked up just you know your vision for yourself is so clear thank you so much yeah I just want soft feet you know what I mean that's all I don't even need any soft life And he's soft feet. In a wet vagina.

In a wet vagina. Soft feet, you know, hard money. Wet pussy. Soft life. Mm. You okay? You have cracked the cold. You have cracked the code.

I love when you're just, what you're like? Mm-hmm. It's like when I get my mom like a piece of sushi, she's like, mm-hmm. You like it. I love it, sin. Mm-hmm.

That's it. That's what I want for myself. How about that, Halliberry, huh? How about it? How about if you don't ask it, because you talked about the ointments and stuff, but she also has a gadget that is some type of red light. Have you seen this? Yes.

I don't know if I need, do I need it? I'm not saying you need it. I'm fascinated. Oh, okay. What if you were saying I needed? I heard. So I heard. By the way, crash west.

We have IRL gifts. I can see why. So like we don't get a lot of oxygen down there. So I guess the red light What do you mean? What do you mean? What? What is wrong with us?

It doesn't get aired out a lot. Okay. So I'm sure the red light makes it feel like it's got some warmth on there. Is that clinical? Is that? Look, I'm no doctor. He does Dr. Oz, but I will sec.

I don't even play one on TV. Although I did play Orthopedic Surgeon. Did you? I did. In First Wives Club. I don't know how to spell orthopedic. Like, what are we doing? Look what are we doing?

It was probably in the script. It was BT Plus. It was VT Plus. Oh, probably not. Shout out. Hope you have your password. Get Bell, Pure Fiber Internet with Crave Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit.

Visit bell.com for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. I'm Nick Titoro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, the longest yard, or Spike Lease Black Klansman. But I'm also from Quillard. Queens, which means I know pizza. And on my new podcast, delivering happiness with Nick Totoro, I deliver pizza from Prince Street pizza to a new guest.

Are you delivering pizza now? Then we sit down for a real conversation. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing, my belt? To Alex Rodriguez. Just to let you people know, we're talking to one of the goats here. To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am.

And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great day. John Tuturo. It's called happiness. Delivering happiness. Mariano Rivera. Big it. Oh my God. And many, many more. Open your free High Heart Radio app. Search Delivering Happiness with Nick Totoro. And listen now. What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up y'all? It's your girl, Sam J. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she

became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii. My first thought is, like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating? The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out, she beat.

Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi. You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that. Because we're not just a poem. just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast. Each week we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process.

How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann and many more. Kyle is going for it here.

You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have some more water? You can.

We have an unlimited supply of water here. You guys got the good budget. We do. We have water and unquestibles. Women that sunbat there, they'll, like, go outside. Yeah, you have to. What? Like sunbathing.

The red light for your pusses because there's no sun down there, right? Is that right? Yeah. No, no. It's important to fact check. He's an ascetician. No, serious. Can somebody chat, GPT it?

Not so. It helps stimulate my condoms. It stimulates. Who's mychondria? Mitochondria. What? Which? You see, thank you. What was this, Avaxon? Thank you so much.

The anaconda of your vagina gets awoken. It stimulates. I'm so sorry. No, you've opened so many questions. I have so many follow-up questions about oxygen and do we get enough oxygen? Brittany says they're women who. Yeah, you have to. Sunbathe with their lives open.

Well, if you have like discoloration down there, like sometimes it gets a little purple or like dark brown. or black is because it doesn't get enough sun. Oh. This is not something I've never considered. Yeah, I know. I've learned so much from you today. Thank you. Thank you.

I could talk, I could just talk about bodies all day long. Really? It's fascinating. And we don't know anything about our body until something goes wrong. Oh, my God. We know more about our car than our bodies. And our bodies are like fucking amazing. So that's why I'm just like celebrate.

And also no, no, no, it's powerful. Yes. You know? You like a naked person? Like, do you enjoy being naked? You got it. You are her? You got it.

You picked it up right away. Sort of rod, your camera guy. He's like, that bitch. We're the naked family. Are you sunbathing your vagina for oxygen purposes? No. No. I mean, no.

Not with all the fruit flies and stuff. Just kidding. But like... I will never unsee that. I'm so sorry. But, yeah, I just like to be free. If I would ever consider that now, you've put fruit flies into the equation. I'm so sorry. I was doing Bevby Smith's

podcast in bed and it was in Miami and there were fruit flies down there. And I was like, I'm sorry. And she's like, it's the nectar, darling. It's the sweet nectar. And I was like, thanks, Bevy. Wow. What a hype woman. But anyway. Yeah. I like to be a little because you know what it is too? I always had to like, like, I've had this body. It was bigger when I was like 11 or 12. And so I always had to like be under a male gaze. Like stand up straight, not too straight. Wear a bra.

You know, do this, do that. Like button down shirt, button down shirts in Catholic school my whole life. And now I'm like, I'm free. I'm just free to be who I want, how I want. And this is how I'm comfortable. I still put on clothes when people come over. You put them only when people come over? Yes.

And when they're not there. It's off. It's off. You know? And the one rule in my house is like, We have to wear clothes at the dinner table. Like, we can't all whinny the poo at dinner. Have we?

Lunch? You know? Yes, lunch. What kind of question is that such? Wait, ask, what are the questions? You have all the cards. It was on the card. I wanted to know if you wore clothing for lunch.

Really? Yes. No, it's not. Why would that be in the cards? Why would I even know that we were going to go here? You're a great interview. This whole conversation is unexpected. It's taking so many unexpected turns.

Just like the Jersey Turnpike. She is a Jersey girl. That's right. We did have a jersey card that we didn't get to today. Oh my goodness. What is it? I don't know. It's just your background and you come from where you come from growing up in Jersey

and your parents are Jamaican and Haitian, which is amazing because isn't there like there's always a something. A sudden, right? Because it's like Puerto Ricans and Dominicans and Jamaican and Haitian. It's more like Asians and Dominicans. It's Haitians Dominican. But yeah.

The Haitians are Jamaicans too. I grew up with a lot of Jamaicans. I always felt like one thinks they're better than the other. Always. Yeah. You know, Cuba,

it's all, Colombia, Venezuela. It's all, but, you know, same. At the end of the day, we're all just, like, beautiful souls trying to figure out how to do life.

Word. You know. Yeah, but that's a lot of Caribbean. It's a lot of Caribbean. In the home. It is. How is that navigating your choices?

Like, Who I want to date? What I want to look like? What I want to do for a career? Right. Any old school Haitian Jamaican ideas that kind of went against any of that? Or your parents pretty liberal and modern? What a great question.

I feel like they were strict. They were religious. They were conservative. But they also weren't. Like our families are so big. that everybody was sort of like making the right and the wrong choices. So by the time it got to me and they realized I was who I was, they're like, just be a good person. Don't get pregnant in high school. Just, you know what I mean? They're like, because I was always like in a small class.

I didn't even realize I was like dyslexic to later in life and and, you know, probably have ADD. Hello. Hello. And so they were just like, just be a good person. We want the best for you. But, you know, and I feel like by the time they got to me, they're like, it's not going to be a doctor. It's not going to be a lawyer. She can't remember anything. Did they think you were funny? Yeah. Or was it always taken well?

No. No. No. My funny to them sometimes was just like very American, but my funny to my friends was like very Caribbean. So that's the great thing about being first generation. Like you're just, you really do have the best of both worlds. And so while when we went to Jamaica, it was like, be free, be you, be proud of your body. While we were in America, it's like, you know, again, straighten your hair, like iron your shirt.

Like, you know, you have to like go along to get along assimilate. You don't have to tell everybody where your parents are from, you know, we're from here. And so, you know, Now realizing how my dad was about being Haitian coming here in the 60s and what's going on with ice, I realize why he was the way he was. Hmm. You know, what do you mean? Like careful or trying to blend, they're trying to simulate or? Yeah, like not giving people too much information about you that they could hold against you, you know?

not, yeah, not being as like free in spaces as you could have been because of the government. I always thought he was paranoid, but this is the time he was talking about. It's like he knew. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fascinated, right? Yeah, but I wouldn't change it for the, like, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Yeah, I mean, because. Probably good food in your house. My God. Oh, very, my dad was a cook. He was? He was a cook. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm looking at my kids now, like, they can't even make. a sandwich. I'm like, I was

cutting chicken up when I was when I was their age when I was seven. Yeah, I was laying my clothes out at five, making my breakfast. I know it's a different world. It really is. I went on the subway at seven by myself like a crazy child. And I can't even imagine. Yeah. Does that make my mother sound like a bad parent? No. Well, because we all weren't. We were going to school. So I was on the bus, on the train and the bus or walking.

Yeah. Well, maybe eight. I was eight. I was eight when I used to go by myself. Look at that. We're so independent. Meanwhile, I'm like, chasing my kids around with a water bottle. What am I doing? You don't take a sip of water. Hydration station? You were like, you were doing connections. You were like giving people directions.

I had to sit near the conductor. That was my one direction. Sit near the conductor in case anything goes wrong. Right. Huh? No, I would. I would sit next to the conductor. I would feel safe.

I would think the conductor who didn't know me, but I just, it was like fake security. Yeah. He didn't know. Yeah. You know, the conductors never know. But when you were young, That's what our parents were to say.

Well, you're from Jersey. So probably different than being in the city, right? Like, you'd be like sit near the conductor. I did the city. I did the city. I did Long Island. I did a lot of, it was growing up in Jersey was like, you know, it was dope. I wish it was less aggressive.

You know what I mean? Because by the time I went to college in Miami, I'm like, who we fighting tonight? And everyone's like, nobody. Calm down, bitch. Yeah, bitch. It's nice outside. I'm like, this is a new sequence shirt. Stop.

I'm like, we ain't fighting nobody. So I'm so. I'm thankful for a lot of things. Well, like, no way he used to fight that much. We had to get to our IRL questions, but I have to ask you. No way, before we do, I just have to ask you this. Are you, are you disappointed that maybe people didn't show up numbers-wise the way they should have for the show for the show? That's a really good question because it's a bigger question about society.

What do you mean? it's why are we not showing up for women, women of color, queer people, fat people, brown and black people. It isn't just showing up for my comedy show. It's showing up for people trying to get their papers in order for ICE or like, you know, for immigration and still being detained and sometimes killed by ICE. Do you know what? It's showing up for marginalized communities. And so what do I expect? What did I expect?

It's really hard to crack, you know, the code. That's why you have to celebrate the Quintas and everybody else because it's really hard. Because I, and I'm saying this as the most positive person. I was like, you're the glasses half full girl. I am, but I also have to be realistic in what society, these norms tell us and show us. We have to show up for each other and we have to respect each other. but like there's so many levels of like disrespect on just even comedy and female comedy. There's a reason why you're never going to see best picture at the Oscars.

That's not only a comedy, but, you know, probably with a bunch of black people unless it's like pain porn. There's like there's just a bigger picture that doesn't have to do with me, but I'm just going to do my best to do what I do. And so do I wish the numbers were like astronomical just so I could say, to like, you know, capitalism, essentially, look at this. It matters. We matter. And now you can see because of the money. Yes. But the truth of the matter is a lot of people probably can't afford these platforms. Or they just don't know about it because they're working. Or it doesn't show up in their algorithm because that doesn't serve the advertising. Because everyone's like, who's this show for? If people don't need, there's, I remember Glad came to set for Pepperman's Wedding. episode in season two and shared some wild facts about trans people. And one of them was people in America, most people believe that they've seen a ghost before a trans person. So, yes. But so all this to say, the bigger picture is what we're saying about us, you know, the respect and, um, the support we get as marginalized communities, like, essentially.

So, um, wow. Yeah, I don't remember the question at this point. I really went an awful one. Or were you disappointed that? Oh, yes. That people didn't show up in a bigger way. But I feel, yeah, and I feel like the people that needed it did show up. Like I can't, you can't compete with like people who literally are pouring their hearts out

in DMs, messages, and letters to you of how this show, not only save them, but like change how they saw themselves and people in the world. So I'm like, oh, job well done, bitch, you did it. You know what I mean? Yeah, good for you. And we had a good time all set. And we didn't trauma bond. Yeah.

You know, I know everybody told their therapist, they had a good time. Okay? I mean, we didn't have any avocados. But other than that, the guacamole of that government tub did as well. Well, done then. Thank you so much. Well, then very well done. Well, look here.

So now that you're moving forward, I know you're taking a break right now, a little break. I'm saying that. Well, I'm taking like a mental, like, well, not a break. This is what you said to me. I know, but not like a break where like, don't call me. I'm not available. Oh, right. Call me, I'm available for sure.

You just don't have something set up right yet. You got like, maybe you got a little, maybe I got a little seeds. Okay, you got seeds. But yes, I'm not like, there isn't like a. I just wonder if you go into it differently based on where this landed in the world. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's exciting.

Yeah. You know, I wrote a couple of things that I'm trying to see where they go. But like, you know. I can't wait to see. Me too. Like, I don't. And I hope everybody shows up the way they're supposed to for it. Thank you.

I mean, August 21st, I don't know when this airs. Yeah. August 21st, I have a movie coming out called Spa Weekend with Leslie Mann, Anna Farris, and Ila Fisher. And that's really fun because it is giving Mount Rush more. Comedy. Is there a reason that you say comedy so aggressively? So people know I'm serious. Oh my God.

Wait, were those the questions? Those were most of the questions. Wait. My IRL questions haven't even begun the IRL questions. Oh, shit. Hey, guys, you ever signed up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price? And then a few months later, like, surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that. With Boost Mobile, you pay $25 a month forever.

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What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam Jay. And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and I Heart Women's Sports. Because let's be real. Women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days. So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii.

My first thought is like, what's up with the snacks? Like, what are we eating? The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire timeline. And the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports. Naomi Osaka showing out. She beat. Sabalinka. Shout out to you, Naomi.

You get the palm, Naomi. You get the palm for that. Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports. On the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. You know us or rather you know them. Tony and Candice, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken. We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years. but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast.

Each week, we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process. How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life,

guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Chryssel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song, a melody. I thought he was going to write. I thought you're all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia.

Ayo rewatch on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, first we have a voice note. This is presented by Boost Mobile. It's a segment where somebody calls in or sends a message or I don't know what it is. Sometimes it's a comment. Sometimes it's a question. What do we got for Michelle today? Call it.

What's your name? Where you calling from? Hey, Michelle. So Fat Girls, the movie with Monique was such a rare example of a plus-sized black woman getting to be funny, romantic, and fully realized on screen. Survival of the Thickest feels like it's building on that legacy. Was Monique or that film an inspiration for you at all? Oh, my God.

I want to say yes. No. I want to say yes, but no. It wasn't, like, Monique is always, like, Monique is always, like, she's in the Zygai guys for me, for sure. And it wasn't just that movie. Like, Monique is that bitch, you know, like the talk show, the movies, the stand-up specials, the multi-hyphenate, the loving yourself, no matter what.

So it wasn't necessarily that movie. It was just Monique. In fact, like, the Mo. the M.O. apostrophe because there's more of her. Like, I put that in the show, like, moment. That's like episode one, season one. You know, when Kaleel asked Mavis, don't you always say think girls are having a moment?

She's like, moment, like M.O. apostrophe, you know. So, yes, in that part, yes, that, you know, yes, Monique there, but no, not necessarily. I'm sorry. You don't have to apologize for your truth. That's what I don't. Never mind. You took that move.

No, I'm sorry. You told us that today. All right, now we have an IRL bowl. Okay. Go into the bowl. Oh. For some meaningful in real life questions. Oh, my God.

So pick up a question. Oh, look at you all. Be printing stuff and cutting it up. Yeah, we have a craft. We have a little arts craft department. Oh, my God. Oh. If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be?

Quiffing. Quifing. That's right. Can't you? What would mastering that entail? Good question. I don't know. But if you were mastering it, you would know. I guess it's like direction of air. Oh, like target, targeting?

Maybe. Carry on the next question. Thank you. If God were to text you right now, what would it say? It? Text. Oh, okay. That's my favorite question of the ball.

Really? It seems light. try to answer it and see what happens for you. If you got a text message is from God. Yeah. What would it say to you? It would say something along the lines of keep going, you're doing the right thing. That's pretty good.

I think it's pretty good too. That's often what she tells me. What's something you used to be embarrassed about that you own now? Oh my goodness. My body, for sure. Were you? I thought you were never, I thought you were always this confident girl. No, you're not born that way.

You just, yeah. I mean, I guess I don't think we're born with insecurities, but people put them on you. And I'm like, this is weird. I thought I was doing good. And I was like, oh, I guess I'm, I never saw myself in magazines or TV. Like, so I didn't know. And so I would cover up and be like, I guess I'm not doing this. But, man, the, the moment I found like a holter top or a tank top or like a thing or, you know, when I just started to do me a little bit more, I'm like, this is good.

Why would it be anything else? You know, and also like getting out of my mind of like, am I not thin enough for him to be with me? That sucked. But the minute I was like, you're welcome to this body because it's amazing. Orgasm. Who knew?

This is great. I know. I'm just going to do like a couple more. I think that goes for every woman, no matter the size. Yeah. Because if it's not weight, it's the, your hips or your body proportion or you're too short. Yeah. I think there's all types of insecurities that do this.

same thing. It's not even about the specific insecurity. It's just the insecurities that are put on us. That are put on us. That make us not enjoy life. It is a form of control. Oh, that's good. It is a form of control.

Designed? Yes. Yes. And it goes back and it's like also biblical. It's a form of control. And dare I say, mental abuse. because what would it actually look like if everyone actually love themselves

and they were enough? Equality. That's what would happen. Yeah. They don't want that. Not at all. Because then you got to pay me what you owe me. What's one thing you hope

never changes about you? Oh my God. I don't know. What do you think? I hope nothing that doesn't change about you? Yes. Okay. Yes.

Are you done with the wall? You're bored now with the bowl? No, no, I can keep going with the ball. What do I hope never changes about you? Yes. Your glasses have fullness, but also the joy that you wrap that up in. Yeah. For everyone else.

Yes. Is that a good answer? That's a very good answer. You're so pretty. Stop. You're so pretty. When she did the show, we say not about you. Oh, that's so nice.

Thank you. But like, oh, that's really sweet. When I did her show? Yes. You didn't say it about me. You only said it about her. These are great questions. What is it fear that you are actively working through?

That's a good one. Yeah. Because you present as fearless. Wow. Really? I just told you I was so scared of spiders right before we saw it. Yeah, but that's not the same thing. It's not.

No, you're not scared of spiders who's going to stop you from living your life. That's true, but I don't go camping. Well, then so maybe slightly living your life if you wanted to camp. But you present as fearless. Yeah. So are there fears that you've had to overcome to be able to be the person that you are?

I, yes, yes, yes, but the inevitable is my ultimate fear, which is death. Don't do Sorry No wait Just bring it down Stop there

Oh This is a really good bowl You shouldn't have So money in here I know Usually people just pick one But you're like a glutton For that

I wasn't about questions I wasn't gonna stop you I didn't even go to Ormust No I wasn't gonna stop you It's just that you were so good I didn't want to stop you Oh my goodness

But that can be the last one But yeah We ended death We ended death But it's not death it's fear of death. Yeah. There's also fear of losing people.

Oh. So your fear of death is other people dying, not you dying? Both. Yes. Okay, there's levels to this. There is. Because I have people who think about it all the time. I know people who think about it all the time.

And then some people who don't fear it at all. At all. Yeah. Usually the people who have come really close to it don't really fear it as much. Yeah. I don't know. Where do you sit? You know what this podcast was called?

When we first launched the pod, it was called, we're all going to die. So we better start living. Would you have come to the show if that was the name of it? I'll come to any show you do. Oh, Michelle. Yeah. But it was called that because I had a lot of loss at that time.

I saw it was in a really bad car. I saw all these things. And then I realized, all going to die. Like, what do I really want to do? What do I really care about? Knowing that, our time here is limited, what's important to me? And so that was the concept of it. But I realized that would scare some people off. So we went to in real life. Like, what do we care about in real life? And so we landed at in real life. But I'm very interested in the subject because I do think it, our fear of it sometimes, I don't know, it's, it controls how we how we live and what we do

at the time we have. Yeah. Sometimes we get scared to do certain things because we live in fear or worry or concern. I don't know. I just wonder where it lands for you. Motality. Yeah, no, I'm definitely fearless because it's coming. Hmm.

You know? And so, and that's why I started stand-up because after 9-11, I'm like, oh, we might die, so we better start living. Oh, that's right. So you were fueled by that too. I did hear that. Yeah. And my dad has had dementia for a long time and he's sort of like wasting away. And so it's like this prolonged goodbye, but also like a prolong like I still have you. Like it's just a very. And then, you know, people that are very close to me that have cancer. It's, uh, it's death. That's the one thing that we can't control that we can't control. It fucking sucks.

It fucking sucks and I want them here. Yeah. And I want them here. Yeah. Yeah. I have two friends dealing with parents with dementia right now. Mm-hmm. What a challenging kind of roller coaster.

Very. Yeah. Very. But to your point, there's some type of collateral beauty like in appreciating the moments. Yeah. It's almost like I get to take care of my dad now. Mm-hmm. Um, but it's also like the thing where like, I know he wouldn't have wanted this, but I'm looking at him and he's so happy. But then he's also like, you know, not it's just, it is a very fucked up confusing thing where you just truly, it humanizes every and anything you can ever be with. Do you what I mean? And, uh, like even my kids when I show them pictures like of them with. Like, of them with. And, like, of them with. And. And, um, like, like, even my kids. And, like, of them with. And. And. And,

my dad three years ago. They're like, who's that guy? I'm like, that is your grandfather playing with you. The scary guy in the bed? And I'm like, he's not scary. Oh, you know? That's tough. It is tough. Yeah. And so, yeah, it's just, yeah, death. That's, this is a shitty way to end the conversation. It's pretty great. You think so? I think so. We had such a like bright, happy conversation. I can't land it on it No I don't think so Go back in the pole Damn it go back in the bowl

Back in the ball I go bitch Find the better question What are some of your pet peeves or triggers Oh How much time we got Tell me those before you go I mean

I think I mean adults that act like children Do you need a pillow on a fucking plane? You don't Do you need to complain about your food No, fucking be an adult person. Order what the fuck you got to order. Don't tell me about your gas. At dinner. At dinner. Stop trying to poop. Pet peeve when somebody like wants to yuck your yum when they do the yeah butt, get the fuck out of here. With your year butt. Talk to your mom

about that bullshit. Somebody who yucks your yum. Don't yuck my yum. Ever. Ever. This is Miami moment. Is your husband good at that? not yucking your yum? No, he's a Virgo. He's born to yuck. Oh, really? I thought that was going to be the key to finding the right person

for you. You know, it's so funny. It's so funny because he has to think about everything he does and like read the comments and, you know, and not the comments.

What is it called when people like leave reviews about something? Oh, reviews. He has to be very organized in his thought process. I'm like, or we could do it. And then fuck up

and learn. from our mistake. I love fucking up and learning from my mistake. Oh, it's my most favorite thing. What's your moon? My moon? Is it a fire? I don't know. Should I know? You should know. How do I find out? Ask somebody. Oh. Yeah. Oh, I did this. Yeah. I did it. Do you know you're rising in your moon? No. Okay. Would that serve me to know? Yes. It would. I think it's fire. Mine? You have fire in your chart. Okay. What is the fear that you're actually going through? Do I do that? I really think you've done all the damn wolves.

I'm really just stalling, letting you do it until I find my, like, something that really feels like. Lately, I've been reminding myself that, oh, it's okay. It's okay to not be okay. Because menopause is like new for me. Oh, you just, it's new for me. And I don't sweat, but the hot flash makes me feel anxious. And I'm like, are we going to die?

It feels like, is there turbulence? Everyone looks so happy. And I'm like, can we turn the arrow on? And you guys are like, yeah, okay. And I'm like, so like, it's a weird thing where I'm like, nobody else feels like that. Would something you used to be embarrassed about that now you own? What if every answer was just queffing?

You should totally do that. Okay. Guilty pleasure. I found two here. Democracy. Democracy. That's my guilty pleasure. When everybody's got to say,

what a kink. I am no. I'm not a fucking hoe. I am no longer available for. Oh, you're bullshit. Do some, get therapy. There's a whole, you can, you don't have to go in person. You can get your degree from DeVry online and also your therapy. The best advice someone has ever given you. Oh my God, so many things. Will Sylvan, who's a really funny comedian.

I know Will. You know Will? Yeah, I do know Will. I love Will. He does a lot of stuff with Cypher. Yes, Cypher sounds. Will, when I first started comedy, he was like one of the only straight dudes who was like, who wasn't like touched my dick for stage time. And that wasn't his advice, but he was as nice to me. And he said, as soon as you get good in this room, go to another room where you suck. And that's how you get better.

Because everybody wants to answer, how do I make money? How do I make money? And he was like, get good. get good. And I was like, oh, got you. And then I got good. And I was like, Oof, be so undeniable that nobody could fuck with you. And so that really helped me and like shaped me. Because then I was already fearless enough to like get on stage, but then like everybody puts the thing on you like, even within comedy, when you make up your own rules, people are like, you got to go to this club.

You got to sit around and hang out. I'm like, I don't want to fucking hang out. I got friends. Okay? I want to see my friends. I want to hang with you fucks. I want to do wish I want to do my set and want to go. And I hang out with you and talk about your fucking joke. Yeah. So he's also good advice for some people who have had success. Sometimes you get content in your little box of success or in, but to go into a different room. Yes.

And that's a different kind of ego. That's an insecure ego, the one that always has to be big fish and be right. I think a really healthy, beautiful ego is the one that's working that doesn't mind like going into rooms where you don't know everything, but you still know what you know and you want to work with people. That's like the type of ego I want to work with. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And how can you learn if you stay in that same little room?

That's the thing. And people don't want to learn because they think they know everything. Okay, Will with the good advice. It's good advice. Yeah, Will is good. You never know when you say something to somebody how it sits and lands with them forever. This is 2002. Yeah. Yeah. And this last one, I like to end with this. Okay. Because you've got to end it. Yeah. Because we got to end it at some point because we could literally sit here. Then we could do a whole other interview and you could be Mavis and I could be Imon and the Dawn. Yes. Sticking than a Snicker. Charles René! He was great.

Ron Rika's amazing. But you had this incredible show, movies, you're about to go on tour, European tour. And Netflix special is going to be filmed. Netflix special is getting filmed. You've broken barriers. You're a great mom who adores her kids. I really do. 16-year marriage.

That's a long time. I mean, a lot of successes in your life. Yeah, you're happy. You're taking care of your dad. You're seeing even the beauty in some of those moments. Yeah. Like, this is a lot that you've done. What are you most proud of about yourself?

All of those things. That I, that no matter what, I am who I am. I'm still this thick, titty, freckle-feats, bitch that wants to make people laugh and try to have a clean kitchen and manicured feet and have a good day, you know? And it fills me to uplift people, you know? So, yeah, that I'm that bitch that I still have friends from like first grade to high school to college that, you know, I'm still that bitch. Yeah, fame is like, what is fame?

Fame is just a tax bracket or like a fucking check on a social media page. You know, I think success is, you know, when you're happy. Right? When you're happy, when you're a good person, you do good things. That's really good. Now, that's how you end the podcast. Oh my God! Hi!

I'm Michelle Buto in real life. Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment, and check out all of the other episodes we have on H. Martinez, IRO podcast. Hey, Portlandia fans. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast.

We're launching Podlandia AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia.

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