Joe and Jada - Angie Martinez IRL - Nia Long: Stop Relying On Pretty & Start Knowing Your Worth

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

Award-winning actress and producer, Nia Long joins Angie Martinez to talk about if all the years of success changed her, her experience on set for ‘Boyz In The Hood’ with Laurence Fishburne, and what her DMs look like. Plus, a voice note from a fan who wants to get glammed up, and why she isn’t apologizing for knowing what she knows.Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt...All lines provided by ‪Hard Rock BetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. It's that time to put on your jersey and wave your flag, whoever you root for. Why do I watch the walk up? That's like asking me, why do I breed? And it's beautiful. The guys are young and cute and fit.

It's not just a game. It's your culture. I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernanda Chavari, and this is American football, a show about soccer culture in the U.S. and its underdog roots. Listen to American football on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joy is essential and it's also elusive, but now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.

Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby is presented by CVS. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is, getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is,

getting a new one put up in its place. I'm Akila Hughes, and Rebel Spirit. Season 2 is about both of those things. As I was watching these statues come down, I was thinking about what it meant that I grew up in a majority black city in which there were more homages to enslavers than there were to enslave people.

Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Chuck from Stuff You Should Know, and we're submitting our most sciencey episodes for your peer review with our new stuff you should know doing science playlist. Out now. You want to know about Occam's Razor?

Simplest explanation is usually the right one, we got you covered. Wondered what chaos theory is ever since the first time you saw Jurassic Park. Well, come on down. So distill a nice pot of tea, everybody. Turn down the gas on your Bunsen burner and slip into your most comfortable lab coat and listen to the stuff you should know doing science playlist on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That would make me a Cougar.

They did try to paint you as a cougar. They tried to paint me as a cougar. So what happens to your DMs after they do that? Girl. My phone right now, if I open my DMs, you would die. Can we do that? That would be so much fun. Hey, thanks for watching, guys.

This episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. I'm so excited because Mia Long is here today. And when I launched this podcast on my initial wish list, it was like Lauren London, Mia Long. It was like four or five names. I love Lauren. How much you love her? I love her down.

She loves you. I know, we love each other. You know what's funny? After I launched and did my Lauren episode, we talked a lot about the pod because she loved what I was doing. And she always also would say, you don't need to have Mia on. I'm like, I know, we're trying. That's my baby. She's amazing.

I think I don't know what was happening during that time, but I remember we talked. Oh, I do know what was happening during that time. And I didn't want to talk at all about anything. Yeah, you weren't ready. But I did tell you I loved you and that I said I'd be here one day and here I am. And here you are today. All right, let me do an intro for you.

Today's guest is Ben, That It Girl, an award-winning actress and producer. This lady has spent more than three decades defining culture from classics like Love Jones, Soul Food, Best Man, to her current role as Catherine Jackson. She's built a longevity that is almost

unheard of in Hollywood, A true icon, her name has become hip-hop shorthand for the ideal woman. I have a whole list of all the rap songs you're in. And off-screen, she's remained the force in beauty and fashion. She just recently was starring in a Skims ad, which I saw her at the Skims event. Yeah.

She had a recent playboy spread, and she's become the first ever North American brand ambassador for Estee Lauder. Me along is our guest today on IR. So when we first wanted you on, It was a weird time in your life. But where are you now? What are the headlines? Oh, man.

This chapter. The headlines are, I come in peace, but I don't give a fuck. Is that a good? That's a good place. I love that. And I think that I come in peace part is I come with my full self in peace, wanting to inspire. But I also really know myself well. And I'm so settled in my skin and in my thoughts and in my intentions.

that I don't second guess the things that I know anymore. And that's a really great place to be as a woman because you, you, it just trims so much of the fat. And you get to just arrive and be in the space that feels really comfy for you. And sometimes it turns people off, but I don't, that's the part where you got on the I don't know. That's the part you have to grow into it and not give a shit about. You cannot care at all.

You can be kind, but I'm, I'm more interested in being kind and finding the truth than being nice and having power. Or sacrificing anything about your truth to overcompensate for like trying to make somebody feel warm and fuzzy. Yeah, comfortable. Yeah. Where do we do that? Why do we do that? And why do we do that for so long?

I think women are are programmed to be the, you know, we're the elixir. We're the thing that smooths everything over. And it's not always for us. it's for everyone else involved. And so when you get to a certain age, you're like, the only elixirs I'm putting on my face, the only elixir I'm interested are the ones I'm putting on my face. Advanced night repair.

Like, let's do that. But I don't want to have to do that for situations and people that are adults that are responsible for their choices. We all talk about that. And you know how many people go, yeah, I don't give a fuck. And I'm like, no, she does. And then there's certain women, I'm like, She really has, yeah, she really doesn't.

It's such a good thing. And I care about the things that I should care about. I care about the things that actually mean something to me. I care about humanity. I care about the big things. But the little things, it's I will bulldoge straight through them to get to my truth. Will you not always like that? No, I think, I think, I think, I think I was, but it was out of fear.

Now it's out of understanding of self. You know, when you're born in Brooklyn, grew up in South Central, you wake up one day in your 20s and you're a star, you're like, who can I trust? Especially when you're famous. It's hard because everybody wants a piece. And everybody just, they change and they think you've changed. And it's like, no, I'm the same. Really has fame not changed you at all? I think, I mean, I live such a normal life where I go to the grocery store. Really? I don't have an assistant. I'm very, like, I'm very, like, I.

You have no assistant? No, I can't deal. Who books your manicure? I do. Who schedules the car? My team. So you have a team? I have a team, but I don't have someone like wiping my ass at home.

No, I understand. You don't have like a personal at home assistant. Not that assistant is supposed to wipe your ass. That was horrible. I shouldn't say that. But you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't have the cadence of my life is dictated by me and my choices moment to moment. If I stick, because I'm also, I change my mind about those things in the day.

Like, I might have a plan yesterday to get up tomorrow and go to the gym and then get a wax and then go get my nails done and then pick my son up from school and go have sushi after school. I could wake up and go, I'm not doing any of that. I'm actually going to stay right here in my bed. I love that. And I'm going to call, you know, I'll always go get my baby from school. but I really try to honor myself in the moments when I can because there's so many moments when I can't. You know what it's like. I totally didn't.

When you have to show up a certain way, you have to have those conversations, those prayerful moments, the meditation, the reinforcement. And you have to have people around you who understand who you are and know how to be supportive of what your demands are. I love that being able to switch your day like that, especially if you have an off day. Oh, it's so good. My mother was at my house the other day, and I was in pajamas all day watching dumbass shit on TV. Yeah. And she went out. My mother can't sit still.

And she comes back and she's like, you're still in the bed in your pajamas? I said, yes. Can you believe this? Yes, I am. And it's amazing. And I don't want any judgment at all. And I've earned this. And we have to give ourselves those days.

I know. And we need that. Because they're like reset days, you know, where you just do nothing. And you decide, you know, I find that those days are really like the moments when I can think about designing my week. I do that usually after the farmer's market every Sunday. I sit and I design my week. How does that, calendar out? I go to the farmer's market, get all the fresh juices, dips.

I'm a dip girl. Are you a dip girl? No, but I'm interested. You got to come to L.A. I'm not teaching how to be a dip girl. I'm interested. I'm down. I'm down for that. I would like to try that.

Some hummus. Okay, sure. You know, like little dips. So I go and I do that. You by yourself when you do this? I take my son. Okay. He's big now.

He agrees? Well, because he's, I play the victim a little bit. I'm like, Mommy really need you to carry the backs. I can't. It's true. Like, I'm like, I can't. How old is he? He's 14, but he's six, almost six feet tall.

Okay. And he still's like, okay, mom. Yeah. No, we're real close. We have a special. That's my guy. And then my older one just moved. back home so I'm so now I have both of my babies so yeah that's nice yeah it's weird when they go away

and they come back right it's weird when they go away and come back with a girlfriend oh how's that well he's had the same girlfriend for a long time she's lovely yeah um but it's also what's challenging is when you have to say to them it's time to grow up oof have you had that conversation part of it is understanding the world that they're in and then the other part of it I think for me is

knowing when okay give me my titty back really but what does that look like in real world you like cut off like

no it's it's a grace that you give them it's being supportive it's being there to kind of help them through but not coddling but not coddling and holding accountable

and if you say you're going to do something, you need to do it and get yourself organized and have yourself prepared. Your son is smart, though, right? He's really smart. Both of my kids are, like, smarter than me, for sure. Really? I think so. How do you do that as a mom? I don't know.

I'm sure it came from me. Let me just take all the credit right now. I'm just kidding. I talk to them a lot. We talk about everything, and I'm inappropriate sometimes, and they love it. And they know that no matter how busy I am, I'm there for them, but I also say, like, I'm going in my room, do not bother me. And I close my door and I stay there for as long as I need to.

And they don't bother you. No. Sometimes on the pile we've had conversations about, like, Cardi was here talking about how it was important for her to teach her son how to treat women. You know, no is no. And, you know, just what was the other one? Oh, and karma, how you treat women will come back to you. And, you know, it was something like for her. So I just wonder for you with your two boys.

Like, what were your, I mean, obviously, you made them smart somehow. You had them. Yeah. Whenever, but it was your thing? I think, I think there's, you know, my older son is very interested in facts and the world. And, like, kind of like, he's very entrepreneurial, but he's very entrepreneurial, but he's. He's, there's a, he can fix anything. I didn't teach him that.

I think people are just wired the way they're wired. And then my, my younger one is he's Scorpio like me. He's very, he's more emotional, but he's like his, his IQ and his EQ, especially his EQ is off the chain. He's like, well, that wasn't very, what do he say the other day? Where's the emotional maturity in all of this? Oh my God. And I love that. I love that.

Because imagine what kind of man he's going to be to understand these things that we are struggling with as women, with men, to connect. Yes. So he understands that. And I try to teach them both that. This is the younger one, 14? They both have it. But he, but the little one was almost born with it. Wow.

Like he has this innate understanding of life. and his own feelings or, you know. And can express them. Yes. If I do something, he says, well, listen, can I explain to you how that made me feel? And I'm like, yes, Dr. Udoka. Please, please tell me. And he breaks it down.

I love that. And I just am like, if you can break it down like that, I'm going to take all accountability for every single thing you just said. And you are raising someone's husband, someone's future husband. Yes. And they should be very grateful to you. Yes. That their future husband will be emotionally mature. Yeah.

Which is what a lot of women are struggling with in these times. I thought I was the only one. And then I realized like, oh, everyone's, this is a thing. What, with men being challenged in that area? Yeah. Oh, yes. I mean, historically, so, don't know. I don't know what planet I've been on.

I thought it. I thought I didn't. I really? I really just thought it was the one that I was picking. Did you? You thought you were choosing all of the emotionally Choosing all the challenged.

Yeah. Guys in the planet? No, they're everywhere. Finding the ones that are not is the hard part. Hey guys, today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet. Being rebellious doesn't mean quitting your job and moving to an island. Sometimes being rebellious just means taking a few minutes to do exactly

whatever it is you want to do. And that's where Hard Rock Bet comes in, where your inner Rebel plays. If you're in New Jersey or Michigan, the Hard Rock Bet Casino app has thousands of your favorite games from the casino floor like slots, blackjack, roulette, whatever you like.

And here's what I really appreciate from Hard Rock Bet. There's no nonsense when you sign up. What you see is what you get. If you don't win in your first 24 hours after signing up, you get up to $1,000 back in casino bonus to play again. Plus, you get 500 bonus spins

for cash eruption with winnings paid in cash. Now Florida, listen up. Hard Rock Bed isn't forgetting about you guys. If you like slots, they have something for you too. Check out games powered by Pass Motor Racing. It's not a social casino. These are real money games that are thrilling, fun, and exciting, and you can play with as little as 20 cents,

or you can try your luck at a bigger win all the way up to a million bucks. The best part, again, there's no gimmicks. If you're a new customer in Florida, sign up and deposit $10 to get a $100 game bonus instantly. that's some extra fuel for your spins. So if you're ready to take some time for yourself today, download the Hard Rock Bet app and make your first deposit. That's the Hard Rock Bet Casino where your inner rebel plays.

If he is emotionally intelligent and emotionally evolved. Yeah. What package does that come in? I don't even need you to be that emotionally evolved. I just need you to be willing to meet me where I am and understand. I could teach you, but you can't be. be emotionally immature and then buff me every time.

You know, buff? No, what is that? But it's like a West Indian thing. You're buffing me. Don't buff me. What is it? It's like, don't, don't give me a hard time. Got it. Because you're not on the same page emotionally as I am. I need you to just be open.

Well, what does that look like for you? Because maybe our versions of different. To me, I think an emotionally healthy man. Yes. we'll talk about that made me feel insecure or that hurt my feelings or that didn't make me feel connected to you

or whatever the real thing is versus acting up versus deflecting or just having an attitude or whatever things they do to cover up from actually just saying right how you feel about something right that's your verse

version of it too. Yeah, the version of that. It's challenging for some of that. I don't think it's even in their DNA. Well, not your son. Clap men in this room if that's in your DNA. Please. The glam. Because you spent a lot of time with women, I'm sure. You see?

So there's one, two, it was like six men in here. Nobody clapped. Oh, you got back with the one. Come, bring it. Bring in the wife. But wait, but... You're doing manly things. Wait, up the one, two, three, four, five, six men in here.

How, seven, how many of you think you're emotionally mature? All of you? Are you married? Who's married? Only two? Only two. Okay. Do your wife think you're emotionally immature?

Raj, behind the camera? What's the type of work? Ten years gone off and so. Ten years. So, yeah. Okay. So you're good. Okay.

You're good. She did good. She did good. She did good. It's really funny. She taught you. She trained you. But here's the thing.

Yeah. Can we bring the wine first before I have this? Are we drinking wine out of red cups? Oh, we are so good right now. No, no. Let's do these glasses. I will even get rid of my water. Wait, I don't want to forget this thought.

No, we won't. Tell me. Fuck me. I already forgot it. No, here it is. Now we got wine, first of all. Cheers. Saloo.

Oh my gosh. Thank you. You finally made it. Can you imagine? So what I was thinking was, we were talking about emotionally challenged men. Yes. I often wonder,

not just in myself, but my friends, my girlfriends who date a type of man, right? And then when you decided a point in your life, I need a different type of man. Yeah. Because I would imagine you've had this experience in your life. When you're in that moment of like, yeah, I need to choose different type of man. Maybe I should leave the balls at the gym. I need a different genre. Can men be genres? Yeah, I can be sure. Why not? They put us in genres. They sure do. So why not?

By the way, what genre are we in? Well, now I'm afraid to say, because we're 50s, we're kind of like cougar genre, I'm not. I'm never going to be that. And I don't, and do not call me an auntie. Oh my God. I will kill you. I will kill you. Yeah.

Unless I'm actually your auntie. Exactly. Then it's okay. Yes. Because if I am not, I don't know what I don't even know you. I don't know you or why. I don't know you. Why am I your auntie?

That's got to go. Not good. Okay, so those are the categories they put us in. What are the categories that we put them in? Baller. Baller. I mean, what are the other categories? We don't even know.

That's how badly we need to switch. Wait a minute. Have you only dated athletes? No, no. You were married to an actor? No, he was not an actor. He was a contractor. What did I think is?

You bet him on set or something, right? No, is that wrong? No. I got all the information. Because the internet just makes shit up. Okay. So he was a contractor? And I've never been married, by the way.

You weren't married? Never married. No. I have two beautiful children. I was engaged twice. You've got some rings. I do have some rings. And I will keep my rings.

As you should. Because I've earned those rings. Yeah. Had they dare? Anybody dare ever ask? Never. Okay. No.

No, listen. My children's fathers and I are good. good. Good. Especially now. I feel like now, like, we're all really friends. Like, we can all go to dinner. We can all, like, we're good. Yeah. Because you're past the hump. We're past the hump. Yeah. And it taught me a lot about my capacity to love. Like, to be able to love beyond what was expected at one time. And just to know that, like, I'm going to have that connection with you for the rest of my life. My children are going to be connected to you for the rest of my life. So why make it miserable? We can put our differences in the past. We can forgive. How long does that take?

A long time. And I have to keep talking this talk so I could walk the walk. Oh, are you convincing yourself right now while you're telling me? Yeah, because there's days when you're like, where is the? But no, no, I'm not convincing myself, but I refuse to not stay in the light in this area. I refuse to I refuse to go the dark side of separation and co-parenting because it can be dark and lonely. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm sure. Yes. Yes.

It can be. I'm not just sure. I actually know. Yes. Then yes. In fact. So what is the key to that? Because even, first of all, the time when I was, what year did we launch the pot?

When were we trying to book you and that you had just come off for that whole public thing? Was that 20, 23? It's like three years ago? Four years? Three, four years ago? Yeah, I don't even remember the year at this point. Okay. Is that a blur?

Is that whole time period of blur for you? No. Not even a blur. It was, you know, it was, it happened and... An IR Radio Experience. Weekend gold tickets to Ilson Inc. One, two, three. Montreal with Dom Dalla, Chris Lake and Friends,

Woolly, Dead Mouse, Above and Beyond, sub-focus, and more. With flights from Porter Air, Three nights at Residence Inn downtown Montreal and $1,000 cash. Enter for your chance to win at iHeartRadio.ca. Ilsonique in Montreal, every day you enter is another chance to win. I love the sounds, the buzzing from the stadium, the chanting from the fans, the announcers calling the place, soccer, football, at home.

Why do I watch the walk up? That's like asking me, why do I breed? I inherited that fandom for my mom. I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernanda Chavari, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the U.S. and its underdog roots. We go beyond the game to the people and the stories that make it great.

A soccer game is a festival. It's not just a game. It's your culture. I took an elbow to my head, which cracked my... It is an American game. The Brazilians don't like hearing that, though. Are they the only ones that don't like that? Nobody likes that.

As we get ready for the Men's World Cup this summer, listen to American Football as part of the My Coutura Podcast Network, available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges. I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer. And that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for

postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keith Gianmanca seemed like a mild-mannered suburban dad. But secretly, he became someone else. master of disguise who went on a crime spree. At the time, did it seem like a crazy idea? It seemed very crazy. But I felt so desperate that I felt it was the quickest, easiest way out. Did you allow yourself to think about how it could go wrong and what that might look like?

No. I didn't want to manifest that. I was trying to manifest success. Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. This is going to change my life and my family dynamic forever because everything that had existed prior in my reality is now untrue.

Listen to Deep Cover the Family Man on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's it. It is what it is. It is what it is. the takeaways from you, do you operate like this? Because whenever I have, you know, a defining kind of moment in my life, I always will sit with it for a little while. Okay. What are the takeaways for me? What did I need to learn? What did I need to be shown? What did I need to pivot or change? I don't know. That's how I manage those type of situations. I think that was that's, it's personal and

it's internal, right? Like those things that you go, oh, well, I, we were talking about this before we started about how women have the ability to be whatever they need to be in whatever situation. And oftentimes that means you're sacrificing a piece of yourself that you should not be ever sacrificing. And so I think we've all been there. And I think I was there. I think I was, I was raising two kids. We were in it's there. We were in the middle of a pandemic. And I, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it allowed me to pause. It allowed me to pause and look at all the wonderful things that I had. had done throughout the time that I was in that relationship. But now I can pour everything back into

myself. So it's not about him. It's not about the, it wasn't about them. The things, the headlines, or any of the opinions. It wasn't about the opinions. It wasn't about the trash ass assistant. It wasn't about any of that. It was about how do I preserve what's left and the new way my family is now, like, who are we now? Because I could just walk away and never talk to you ever again. And how does that affect my son? No, I'm not going to do that. So you decide I'm going to be as light. I'm going to let you know what time it is. I'm not going to pretend like some shit didn't happen. But I'm going to also be forgiving and be your friend. And that's good. That's healthy. Mm-hmm. Quickly you do that? Not that quickly. It's not quickly. It takes time. And everyone should take their time. And it's not for everyone, but we're talking about like the healing, right? We're talking about the family unit. We're talking about how do you grow from, how do you grow after a breakup? How do you, who are you after a breakup? That's really what we're talking about. That's really what we're talking about. Because even in whether it was that one or even your first.

relationship or whatever relationship you, every time you come out of something. Yeah, new. Yeah. You're a different person. Yeah. How is that informed where you are now? Marriage was never like, oh, I have to be married. Not for you. Never felt. I've never felt that one. You took the rings, though. You had the intention you were going to. Listen, I thought I would. Yeah. But I wasn't the girl that said, we have to be married right now, especially now that we're having a child. Like it was more important for me to be a mother than a wife.

Wow. And a good mother, right? And a good mother, yeah. Because I knew that I had my own career and I didn't want to, like, not have a child. I know so many women in this industry who wait and wait and wait, and then they get to a place where it's not possible and it's heartbreaking. Yeah. And some choose not to, and I respect that too.

Like, whatever your choice is, I respect that. I knew for me that being a mother was not an option. It was, it had to happen. And so I, I, um, I picked. And you, and you prioritized that. And I prioritized that. And I had good relationships with both of their dads. Yeah.

And I still do. Yeah. But what if you, I was talking to Massize dad the other day and I was like, hey, what should I do about, because he's really good with like, how he's like, oh, you should do blah, blah. I said, okay, cool, thanks. You good? He's like, yeah.

And then my son came over, I go, I ordered two brooms from Amazon. You should take this to your dad for his new place. You know, like, it's just like, that's basic stuff. But it's the way we get down. Yeah. But it's friendly. It's like, it's a friendly environment. But there's also boundaries.

Oh, yeah. There's big ones. They would have to be. Yeah, right, because otherwise it would just be a hot mess. And your kids are probably so much better for it and happy for it. And emotionally intelligent. Because you talk, I would imagine, just based on what you said about how you mother, that there's, oh, I'm very honest. I was going to say that there's been a lot of dialogue.

Absolutely. I'm very honest about like, listen, these are the shortcomings. These are the strengths. These are the things you should think about. These are my strengths. These are my shortcomings. Are you good at that? I am.

You paused. I mean, because I'm like, what are my shortcomings? Patience. I'm the most impatient person. I ask that because sometimes, you know, I'm not patient at all. Also, sometimes women who know what they want and are, I don't know, sometimes, I don't know, like we don't see our own shortcomings as clearly because we're so focused on what we or, or because I read something in one of your, in the packet about Lawrence Fishburn would critique you in the first movie. Is that true? He gave me some critique that made you better. Yeah, he gave me a note. And I thought, I wonder how she deals with somebody pointing out something she could do better.

I love it. You do. Okay. I really love, especially if I respect the person. I know I just went to a whole round of a place, but there's something about that. But there's something about that that shows up in every area of your life. Exactly. It's the ability to take creative criticism.

It's also the ability to know that if I respect this person in there, he was also at the time, I was an ingenue. And he was a big star. Right. So I'm going to take heed to what my, I don't want to say elders, but what the generation of greats came before me, what they have to say. And you knew that even in that time. Yeah, because I was struggling in the scene. Because remember, the reaction in the scene is when... This is Boys in the Hood.

You're 20? Almost 20. Oh, not even. 19? Something in there. Wow. And Ricky gets shot. But that's not. happening in real time. It's a steady cam shot of me running across the yard. Ricky just got shot.

The shot goes to Lawrence Fishburn, then to Cuba, and then it goes across the street, and you see what has happened. So I am the messenger of the bad news. So I had to come in hot, and I had never done that before. So the first time I came in hot, but I wasn't hot enough. And Lawrence Fishburn took me to the side and he said, I want you to think about what you're doing right now and what just happened. Now, go do it again and be hysterical. And I was like, okay. And I was afraid because I'm young, not afraid of him because he was lovely to me, but just wanted to get it right. And it was good. And it worked. What did you do?

How do you get there? I didn't have time to think about it. It was like, just go. And what it was is I didn't allow myself to feel self-conscious. And I think that's like big when you're a young actor. Like you just don't feel self-conscious. Just be in that moment. Just do what needs to be done.

Yeah, don't worry about how you look. Don't worry about how you look. Or how somebody's receiving what you're doing. As long as my light is right. And the camera's in the right place. Not your light. In a minute, I'm going to start bringing my own lights to set. We try to have good lights here.

You do have good lights. They're good. They're the type of lights that you can, like, do good stuff in post. Right? If you need to. If you need to. Yeah. But, you know, I'm a film baby.

So I went from, like, lights being an actor, like, almost like another character on set. Mm-hmm. to a digital world, which is a lot different, which is very different. Tricky, yeah. Because the key for me, I think my superpower is when my eyes are lit. Because then I don't have to say much. Do you absolutely ask for it? You do ask for it.

So you have like a season director or somebody on saying, you're like, hi, I need these babies right here. And you ask for that. Your eyes. What is it about the knee? What is it about the knee along eyes? I don't know. Tell me, look at them.

I don't know. They're pretty good. They're like, what are these? Chestnut. They're chestnut brown. I'm in shape. No. They've served you, boo.

I think it's like the eyes are, you know, the windows to the soul. It's like cliche to say that, but I think it's true. What I see is what I've seen in my life. can be seen in my eyes. So if you're expressing a story, you're expressing them through what you've seen and what you're looking at. But there's a part of your past that always shows up. So it could be pain, it could be joy, it could be love, it could be hate, it could be, there's light and dark there. In the eyes. In the eyes. Soul in the eyes, Chico. Yeah. And you know, have you ever looked at someone and seen nothing in their eyes? They're just like nothing there. Oh, those people scare me.

Yeah, I don't know that I've ever, oh, I have. They're like, it's not often. They're like, almost like, I wonder if we're talking about the same person. I'll tell you late. Cut the cameras. There's a person whose eyes look like that to me that has. That we know that we know that I've been around many times. That's actually two people I've been around.

So yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. And it is scary. And I always wonder, am I reading into that too much? Or is it drugs? Is it alcohol? Is it? lack of sleep or why does it always look like that? Or is there something in the soul that's off? It's probably all that. Yeah. All of those things. It takes time to get there, to have nothing in your eyes.

What do you think that is? Probably a certain amount of just not willing to connect to anything. You're like robotic. You're dead inside. Sorry, that's something very harsh. But that's the same. I think we're saying the same. You're dead to me. That's such a good show. I love that show. Oh, that is a good show.

What are you watching? What are you doing for fun these days? Like, what are your things? I just started watching. Besides getting hummus on Sundays. I just started watching the J.F.K. Jr., the love story. What's the name of it? So good.

What's the name of the show? A love story? Yeah, a love story. Yeah, I just started watching a love story. Did you know? I loved it. I loved it. I didn't expect to love it as that much.

I know. I thought, oh, this will be cute. I'll watch it. time. And then it was like, good. And you know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of the 90s when I was walking down Fifth Avenue and he jogged right past me. J.FK Jr. jogged right past. I can't even get my words out. We locked eyes and I said, that is a fine app. And I was so young. Did you know who he was? And I didn't until like later. And you were like, oh my God. But I had a moment with him. Like we had a moment. Did he know it was you? I don't think he knew it was me. And you didn't know it was him? This is like a rom-com. I think it was just like, oh, you're cute.

So are you. Wow. And we had like, I was like, get it. People say that. He had a charisma about him that like you cannot eat. Well, you could see it in the film. You can't even explain it. It was just like I was literally, and I will never forget this.

I was literally walking. And he was coming this way And I felt this energy And I was like, and we went And then he was gone And then I was like I gotta go to work Yeah

Why was he already With the girl? I don't think so In retrospect now? No, no, I think he was I could have had a chance He could have been your soul mean You missed it

But then I wouldn't be here right now Well then that would be bad That would be bad God bless him God bless them That was a sad story Yeah Are you like

that like a romantic in that way where we we saw him on the train and the door is closed and that could have been him. I feel like you have that in you a little bit. I, I think new love and newness inspires like a visceral reaction in your body. I believe in that. Still? Does that change? No, but now it just isn't last as long when I start seeing red flags. I'm like, let me turn this channel. Time or turn your channel. Is that what you call it? Showing the channel.

New show. New channel. New network. But are you still open to that? I don't know. Are you still open to like the grand kind of love? Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

You still expect it? Like, do you look for it? I am more concerned about being that so that I attract it than I am looking for it. You can't want something if you're not. at your best. So it's like a lot of self-work. What does that look like, though, the thing you deserve? What does that look like? Oh, gosh. Come on, Nia. I will first of all, first of you know it, then it will say it will manifest. No, I know, but it's personal. I don't like everyone knowing what I want, but I'll give you a couple things. Oh, because then also might come and try to trick you.

Listen, after the thing that was a soundbite about dating younger, now I'm like. Oh, God, that's right. And I was like, this is why you can never do a sound bite. that doesn't actually show the full conversation. See, in the 90s, we didn't have that. I know. You had to see the whole... It wasn't bad, though, because here's a reality. I think women should date whoever they want to date.

And I don't think that age matters. I mean, within reason. Yes. But I also know myself, and the reality is I'm not just dating younger. Like, if I met someone who was interesting and mature and they happen to be younger, then fine. Right. But you're not like out looking for a young man. No. They did not. That would make me a cougar. They did try to paint you as a cougar. I forgot about that for a second. So what happens to your

DMs after they do that? Girl. My phone right now, if I open my DMs, you would die. Can we do that? That would be so much fun. I personally want to see something. Oh my God. We're my glasses, though. I can't do it. We need readers. My glasses. Can you that may be in my purse? I need a sip of wine for this. I feel I need to prepare myself. I'm not going to say names, but we'll just say like, here's one. Lala was the one who taught me how to read my DMs.

I don't know. Are you kidding me? I didn't even know if they were. Like, now I do. But like, at first I was like, DMs, what's that? And she's like, bitch, there's a whole sea of shit in here. I'm like, oh my God, I've been missing. Of course Lala was the one to show you.

I don't know why. I feel like her DMs. Actually, we did that on the radio one time. We went through her DMs. I love her. Because her DMs are popping. Popping. She's like, girl, we were doing dear white people. I feel like on the set of dear white people she taught me.

I need my DMs to be a little popping. Do I not give my DMs should be popping vibes? We have to know my thirst drive. Is that not? Is it because I don't post thirstress? Yeah, we have to post more aging. Or is it because I, you need to like, what is it? Is it age? Is it like? No, we just have to post. That's not. You just throw me out there. Let me say be careful what you ask for. I don't really, I don't really want. I was just joking, but I do be thinking like, well, I don't get nothing. I should be like, I'm really inspired by your work. I want a career in media.

I was wondering. Most of them have been telling me like I'll sign the NDA. Shut the fuck on. And I'm like, okay. They're like, yo, where's the NDA? I'm ready to sign. Did they start with a, yo? Oh, yeah, I have some ratchet.

Folks in here. can maybe Ratchettin? Yes. Okay, yeah, I definitely have some Ratchet dudes. So first of all, they're shooting their shot and they're opening up with a yell. And I'm like, that, you don't even get to see the paperwork with that. Yeah, okay.

You know what I'm saying? Okay, we're going to find one. Are any of these guys, like, public figure men? There's a couple that have the blue check. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do you ever reply? depends on my mood

like for shits and giggles it depends how bored I am God, why are all the now all of them are oh oh really Brittany will show you like Lala showed you she'll show you how to search

this one says I call all cap but put me on the list of sneaky lengths you're welcome not you're welcome Ew, did you block him? And that I call Cap, you don't know. You want to know.

Oh, here's a guy. I'm just a normal everyday... Hold on, let me start over. Okay. I'm just a normal, everyday young black man. And then he has in quotes, just a little bit. I guess that means a little bit young. Okay.

That sees you and wonders if I ever had a chance to me. meet you and simply say hello in person. I'm sure you get this all the time. So I apologize if I'm wasting. Okay, he's too polite. Too polite. Too polite. Yes, we had two ratchets. Now it's too polite. That's not really, just get to the point. All right, but be honest, Nia. Yeah. Are any of them good? In here? Yeah. I've had a couple good ones. Really? But then I've watched their lives play out in other areas and I'm like, thank God I didn't go there. You go to the page and you investigate. No, I mean, I've seen in public what they end up doing. Oh, you mean public people who have DMD? Yes. And I'm like, oh, you're kind of a hot mess. I could have been in that story right now.

Oh. You know? Yes. So you didn't take the bait. I didn't take the bait. I took the flowers, but not the bait. I like flowers. I mean, there's just not. There's just not, let's see. this is this is a good time i can do this all day me too yeah no it's it's just not i mean i i wish it was hot so if he's not in the dms and he's not involved in any type of bowler situation he's not that where does he live what like how do you even uh i don't know i ask you this not just for you but like for the many women that i know that are like who do you date yeah like how do you date How? Where do they come from?

I don't want to date. I'm so happy right now. Oh, you don't want to. Mm-mm. Okay. And I don't even know how to date. Yeah. And I think it's because I've just been in a relationship for a really long time. So dating is like, okay, what do we do? Okay, so we're going to dinner. We're going to talk.

Yeah. And you're going to show up as your representative and I'm going to show up as me. I think it's hard to date when you're us. Do you show up as you on date one? Yeah, I don't know how it was to be. Do you not? I don't know. I haven't dated in like 15 years.

And I am, you know, I'm trying to figure out the next thing. Yes. I don't know what that looks like for me. But can I tell you something? You're going to go through this thing where you're going to be like, oh, I want to date. I'm going to get hot and date and I'm going to get out there. I mean, that's what Chelsea Handler told me. And I thought, I don't see it.

That was a couple months ago. I think white women are doing. different. Okay. No, I respect them so much. Like, they can get up and change the channel by. New channels. Sisters, sisters are a little, not all, you can't generalize. But I would say that in my experience, my very dear Caucasian white girlfriends are a lot more like next. Yeah. And I'm, you know, we're, I'm just emotional. Yeah. It takes time. It takes time.

Me too. And also, like, it takes time to remember how to do it. I don't know how to do it. That's what I'm saying. Are you still? Because you're, like, a couple years out now. You still haven't figured that out? I've been working a lot.

I mean, when you think about it, I've been working nonstop since MJ, right? Like, since shooting that. So good, by the way. Thank you. Thank you. And then, yeah, I don't know that I've had that much time to figure it out. I'm focused on my kids. I know I don't want to.

to bring someone new in to my son's life at this age. Yeah. I think it's tough. I'm all over the place, but how fun to be able to play the mother of Michael Jackson. Like, it was wild. Could you imagine, and I'm sure you've had to have imagine because you played her. So I'm sure you've gone through all that work in your head of like, but I was thinking, could you imagine being Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson and the Jackson's vibes mother? Wild. Wild. Wild. But she's a source. She's a pillar. Uh-huh. They spent a lot of time with her, right? So I didn't meet her.

At all? Until after, I met her at the premiere. Oh, my God. And so the whole time we were shooting, I'd been wanting to meet her. But, you know, it was one of those things that, like, I mean, she's Catherine Jackson. They don't just get in a car and drive and say, like, hey, it's not that. So there's a. And she's older, you know, she's just turned, I think, 90.

Wow. I want to say, yeah, she's. So even who she's. she was when you played her. She's not that. She's different. I mean, she's a different, probably a different woman. Yeah.

But she's, when you meet her, she's like, very quiet, very sweet, very soft, kept her eyes on the littles, like the babies. I watched her watch the babies, and that was beautiful. And I just kneeled next to her and I said, I've been waiting for this moment to meet you. And I said, have you ever thought about the fact that none of this would be happening without you? It makes me want to cry. And she just kind of looked at me and she started to cry. And she held my hand and I held her hand and it was just she's the beginning of an empire. Happy Pride Month, Toronto.

It is an opportunity for you to create your own space, to celebrate your existence. IHeart Radio is proud to be an official sponsor of Pride Toronto Festival, and we won't stop. Celebrate Pride. Turn up the love and listen to IHeart Pride Canada, your 24-7 radio stream and the only playlist you need for your Toronto Pride celebrations. Pride is so great because it gives a whole bunch of people this visibility that they've never had before. We have a ton to celebrate Toronto. Happy Pride. IHeart Radio. I love the sounds, the buzzing from the stadium, the chanting from the fans, the announcers calling the place soccer, football, it's home. Why do I watch the World Cup? That's like asking me, why do I breed?

I inherited that fandom from my mom. I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernanda Echavari, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the world. the U.S. and its underdog roots. We go beyond the game to the people and the stories that make it great. A soccer game is a festival. It's not just a game.

It's your culture. I took an elbow to my head, which cracked my skull. It is an American game. The Brazilians don't like hearing that, though. Are they the only ones that don't like that? Nobody likes that. As we get ready for the Men's World Cup this summer, listen to American Football as part of the MyCultura podcast,

network, available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges. I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety.

Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keith Gianmanca seemed like a mild-mannered suburban dad, but secretly he became someone else, a master of disguise who went on a crime spree. At the time, did it seem like a crazy idea? It seemed very crazy, but I felt so desperate that I felt it was. the quickest, easiest way out. Did you allow yourself to think about how it could go wrong on what that might look like? No.

I didn't want to manifest that. I was trying to manifest success. Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. This is going to change my life and my family dynamic forever, because everything that had,

existed prior in my reality is now untrue. Listen to Deep Cover the Family Man on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Think about that. That's like, that's hardcore. She gave birth to all those children. And she protected them and she sacrificed. And she's a grandmother of, I don't, I'm sure she's probably got like, I don't know exactly how many grandchildren there are. but she is Queen Mother. Yes. When I think about. Why does that make your emotional?

What do you think? Because I know the weight she had to carry to be a place of refuge and safety for her family. But I know that she also had to probably internalize so many things that she couldn't speak up about or chose not to speak up about. No, I could only imagine. Because she had the mother wit, the grace to know that, like, you don't have to speak on all things. Some things are better left unsaid. And I think that's her holding her, that's that divine feminine power that we all have that you have to protect. That must have been great.

Did you ask her how you did? You had to ask her. I didn't ask her that because I was like, what if she says no? Oh, God, that would be terrible. That would be horrible. I didn't recognize that woman at all. I didn't even get her out of here. No, I didn't ask her because I know that she was happy.

And all the sons were happy. How do you feel? And I could feel that she was happy. And, you know, you do these performances to tell a story. And, you know, it changes from moment to moment. Like my interpretation of it is not going to be the same as when Angela Bassett did her interpretation. which was amazing. Two different things, two different projects, two different movies. And so I didn't want to get caught up in trying to be Catherine Jackson. I wanted people to feel what she represents. Yes. I get that. Right. And that's the baseline of the family. That's the strength. That's the. And you got to understand, like we shot a lot of other scenes that didn't make it into the movie because of the legal.

Yeah. Shake ups that happened towards the end. So it was, it was, it was, it was tricky. Yeah. What is that like for you to be, because I was looking at the body of work, you know, for all of the movies, you're always like the hot little, the young little haughty in the movie. It's, I hate it. You hate the haughty roles?

Well, because it's not, I mean, I don't know. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I actually love it. I love that I get to do that. But I think. I mean, Friday, even Friday. Yeah.

Like the way it's, I mean, it's, I don't know, it's, it's, it's endearing. It's not, it's not overly sexualized. No, no, it's not. It's like you've been put on this like ideal girl kind of pedestal. That's the part. That's tough. Yeah. Because as much as I appreciate it, I'm not that girl anymore.

I'm like, you know, we change as women. And I don't want to have to live up to that. whatever that is now. Yeah. What is it to you? Because you do take your skin regimen, your beauty, how you look, how you present. Like, you just did Playboy. Like, skims.

Yeah. That was great. I love that. Yeah. So where do you, I don't know, where do you put that? The idea of how people see you versus how you see yourself. I think as long as I'm taking care of myself and it's about my personal growth and my choice. then it's okay. Rather than trying to be younger or trying to be hot or trying to be the 90s hot girl.

Like I'm not, you're not the 90s hot girl. You're not the 90s hot girl. You still are in there somewhere. No, she's in me. She's never going away. But I don't need to walk out the door with an agenda. I just, need to walk out the door as me. Mm-hmm. And some days I'm 90s hot girl, Nia, and some days I'm Mama Nia, and some days I'm carpool Nia, and some days I'm hot mess Nia, and some days I'm red carpet Nia. And other days I'm...

You're going to the set to play the matriarch. Right. And I've gained, you know, 40 pounds because I'm in menopause, and I'm a grown-ass woman. Like, that's... I'm all of those women are part of who I am. Mm-hmm. And so I don't want to be... beholden to one version of myself.

But is that tricky? Did you have to go into that? Were there growing pains in there? I think there's a moment that every woman walks into the bathroom and looks in the mirror and you're like, oh, I'm getting older. And it's okay. Did you take it? That's okay in the moment? Yeah, because I was like, I'm still fine.

I'm still, I still feel pretty for me. Yeah. You know, I still feel good about myself and I'm taking care of. myself so that I can preserve that. But I'm also, I can also see the things that are changing. And that's good. Like to be able to have more life, to be able to change, to be able to know that like one day I'm going to be a grandma and one day I'm going to have all of, you know, it's, it's nice. You've got to settle into it. Either you're going to fight it or settle into it. Yeah, yeah. I think we're, I think the world sets us up to always want to fight it. And it is a tough thing.

You know, I struggle too. Sometimes I'm okay with it. And then every time I'm like, sometimes I'm like, I don't like this. I don't feel like that inside. So I shouldn't look like that on the outside. Sometimes, I don't know. Well, that's the self-talk, right? Like, that's the thing that we have to get under control.

And I think as our hormones change and our bodies change, it comes with anxiety. It comes with exhaustion. It comes with imbalance of our hormones. All these things are real. Yeah. Not like people just talking about. bottom it happens yeah yeah and so you just have to have not you but anyone yeah me myself as long as i feel myself going down the rabbit hole and i pause and recalibrate i'm good so you do have the

feelings you just pause and recalibrate i pause and go today i said today i was getting dressed and i go god i need to be in the gym and i go but you know what i don't want to right now I don't want to. Good for you. I want to. I'm actually at the weight that I like to be at. But I walked into the mirror my brawn panties and I was like, I need to go to the gym. Because it's important to lift weights at this age, at this stage.

But with that the reason? No. Because if you walk past the mirror and your brawant panties, you weren't like, it's important to lift weights. No, no, that was the reason. It was, yeah. You were like, this, used to look like this. And now it looks like- No, I was like, I was like, I've got good legs, but don't start taking them for granted by not working out. Go work out so they can stay nice.

I want to go back to It Girl and that theory about you being on this pedestal, right? I just wonder as a young girl, that could be tricky. Like them putting you on this, like, pretty girl pedestal. I just wonder if, like, Eagle had set in or... I don't know. What does that do to a young girl when everybody's like, you're so pretty? You're so, you're that girl. I didn't really have people coming up to me saying, you're so pretty. And there was no social media. And there was no social media. And I was working. Like, I was a worker. I started in soaps. I moved here when I was 21, 22 years old. Younger than that, actually, because I graduated high school and moved straight to New York. I was on soap.

that was morning tonight. That job was hard. And I think, oh, I was telling someone the other day the moment that I realized I was famous. And it was trippy. I was with Marvet Burrito. Oh, yes, publicist. Yeah.

We were at a Roy Jones Jr. fight at Madison Square Garden. I feel like I might have been at that same fight. You were probably there. Everyone was there. Yeah. It was Spike Lee, Mike Tyson, every supermodel from the 90s. And when I walked in, I was like, oh, my God, like, this is every.

It was packed. And someone on the loudspeaker said, Nealong just walked in. And the whole building started screaming. And I, like, got nervous. Like, what's happening? I was like, are they doing that for me? And then Marvet just looked at me and smiled and she's like, come on. But like that was my,

like, I, and I'm not saying this to try to be like super humble girl. Like I really wasn't focused on that. I was in survival mode. I was born in Brooklyn. I was living in South Central L.A. My mother was a single mom. I was like, how can we get up out of this ghetto? How can we survive? But also you have a gift that you're probably chasing. And I was chasing my own. film gift for it, right, but I knew that if I achieved my goals, it would make everything better. So I didn't have, I didn't have this. Yeah. You know how much I love him.

I know, I love that. I didn't have this, oh, I'm the hot girl's attitude at all. I was, I didn't. Not like the models in the room probably had that whole. No, I didn't understand that. I was like, why are they so uptight? Yeah. What fuck's going on?

I didn't have that. I was aware of my surroundings. I was aware of... You were aware that you were getting casted and... I was aware of how people were responding. But I wasn't walking into a room with a chip on my shoulder or thinking I was the prettiest girl in the room or feeling like I needed to be the number one person in the room.

I... Mm-mm. And I still don't have. have that. Really? No. Not at all. I'm a little, I'm a little, like, silly and, like, people that know me know.

Yeah. You don't take yourself that serious. No. It's funny because sometimes we work with people or hire people. Me and Brett always talk about this. It's kind of like, I don't know, I have like a pretty girl syndrome thing that sometimes I see. I don't want to call it that because that's too, but like there's a thing that, especially

if I'm hiring somebody or if I'm working with somebody. Sometimes in a pretty girl, I could see less effort. And I don't want to paint that on everybody. There's plenty of pretty girls who work hard or whatever. But sometimes I'm like, oh, too many people told her she's pretty. Or too many people gave her a praise for something that wasn't that great. And I can see the difference when people are affected by being pretty, when they've let it, seep into their work ethic or they took it too serious or they're believing the hype and not doing

the work. They believe the hype. Bitch, do better? Like, come on. Do you feel like that's something that has to do with this? It drives me crazy because I want to go, come on, you're pretty. Of course you are. But like, that's not enough. Like, never enough. Come on, man. It bothers me because I feel almost they're selling themselves short. Like, do you feel like that's generational? Do you feel like that's really like a pretty thing. Because I would think some of that is just smacking on Eminem. It's okay. It's real life. This is in real life. I feel like some of that is about generation. Entitlement. Entitlement. If you say something, they're like defensive. I think maybe both. I think it depends on the person. We were grinders. We were, but not all

were. Not everyone was. Who from the 90s wasn't a grinder? that is still relevant right now. Okay, well, that's a different story. But they were definitely like cute girls prancing around thinking that was enough. There were a lot of them everywhere. They might not have made it because that's what they leaned on. Yeah, pretty. There's something in that.

I don't know. I'm sure there's some expert or some psychologist that can break that down. But I do, like if I only have sons, but if I had a daughter, it would be one of my things that even if she was gorgeous. Like you are not going to, that is not going to be your headline. Correct. Like, come on. We need, we need some substance. Because you're not always going to be gorgeous at some point. And then what happens? I always talk about like, it, it reminds me of this thing that I think often is, is like, you know, in high school, I wasn't the prettiest girl. I wasn't the most popular. I was like in the second batch. You know, like, you were B level? I was B level cute in high school. you had like the A-listers and then you had me and the, you know, I was like B, C, like,

the guys liked me, but that was only because the A girls weren't giving them the time of day. Right. Oh, so you had to also have some type of personality. Yes, and I was just very aloof and I would go to school and I did great in school. I was always a good student. But what was interesting is when we all graduated. and you go back.

I never go to my high school reunion. That's like I just don't do stuff like that. I don't know why, but I just don't. I get it. Do you go? No. It's not because I'm an actor. It's just like, what are we going to talk about?

I also, I have a difficult time with small talk. Me too. Oh my God. I get so, I have so much anxiety. And it doesn't mean I can't talk to a stranger. I could talk to a stranger all day. As long as it's authentic conversation. Yes.

Yes. Okay. But what about the people, I call it the falloff, the ones that were in the A group and you see them 30 years later? And they didn't do the work and they didn't grind and they let themselves go. Or life happened. Listen, I'm not being judgmental, but what I'm saying is the pretty thing you're talking about is like the most popular girl in high school. So, I mean, I guess the moral of the story is we just can't be that. We have to be more.

Yeah, we have to, I think we have to explore all parts of ourselves. And we have to rip it open and we have to dig deep and we have to heal. And we have to figure out like what are the things that we were meant to do here while we're here? Because it seems like a long time. It's really not. I know. Ultimately, that is the quest that we should all be on. That's it.

Why are we here? What is our purpose? What's our purpose? How do we serve? How can we inspire humanity? How can we look beautiful but be about it? Right? Like, be about it.

And I think that's one of the biggest things I teach my kids is to be of service. Because being of service means that you are able to put your ego away. How do you do that? Are you? I love it. I love, you know, the other day I was driving to pick up my dry cleaning. and there was this little lady on the corner with her cane and she kept waving her cane. Why did I put the lady in my car and drive her home?

And then I stepped at a red light and she tried to jump out. So then I had to call 911 and 911 came to get her and she had dementia and it was just like a whole thing. And I was like, well, and the officer was like, I understand you were trying to do a good thing. But like you sometimes you got to be careful. But I felt bad. I was like, she's like, it's 900 degrees outside and she's waving her cane. But I don't want to stop being that person because I know a lot of people that would just drive by. And listen, I get just driving by because some things are not your business.

But I also have a tender spot in my heart for elderly. I have a tender spot in my heart for people that are just hardworking people, you know, that just come to my house every week and they do their jobs. sit and we chat for a minute and like there's an exchange of energy. I admire that. I don't, it does, I don't, I'd rather that conversation than to your point, chit chat. Yeah. Because the chit chat drives me crazy. Oh my God. I'm so bad at it. But I just felt like, oh, she really wants for the son. No, no, it was very sweet. It was so genuine. Right. But I always felt our conversations were always genuine for sure. We had a lot of mutual friends and things like that. But I'd never really

us until this conversation today. Are you like, do you have a problem with a laugh? Now I feel like you should hang out all the time. I hate loud. I hate loud. I hate loud. I hate too much talking sometimes. No. Like it makes me like that. Like I get buzzing. But see, I don't like multiple things. Sounds at the same time. One thing at a time. Stick to what we're talking to. I love you. Now we sound like assholes. No. No, she's laughing because you're like my twin soul, right? I can't, I can't, my nervous system can't handle it. But you know

what I think it is? I will literally, and I realize it's rude after. I don't care if it's rude. No, no. I'm taking care of myself. I got to take care of myself. Wait. And it will not because I want to shush somebody, it's just because I need, it's like, if you're talking to me and they're talking to me and the music song. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Right? It's like a nervous breakdown. It's like a mini panic attack. We are best friends. We're besties. I've decided. Do not disappear. Come to L.A.

I'm coming to L.A. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right. We have some in real life questions. We must get to. Okay.

A voice note. Yes, we can. We have a voice note. Somebody sends in. We say we have Nia Long on the show. They send us a note to voice notes. They do it right now? That's cute.

Hey, guys, you ever sign up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price. And then a few months later, it's like, surprise. Your bill is higher. We hate that. With Boost. Mobile, you pay $25 a month forever. That's unlimited talk, text, and data starting at just $25 a month. There's no price hikes.

There's no contract. And this is forever. Plus, Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network. They invested billions building 5G towers across the country. So what you need to do is visit boostmobile.com or head to your local booth store today and get unlimited talk, text, and data for $25 a month forever. 5G speeds not available in all areas after 30. gigabytes, customers may experience

lower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the boost, Unlimited Plan. And who is this person and where? Do we know a name? Your mom? Your mama? Your mama? What's her name? Anna?

Anna. Hi, Anna. Anna. Okay, let's hear it. Hey, Nia. I've been such a fan of yours for so long. I love your movies like Boys in the Hood and Love Jones especially. Outside of your work, you're also just such a beautiful woman, such a beauty icon. My question is, what's the most insane way to get snatched or get ready before a big event?

I have a girl strip coming up and I just want to look hot. Just give me some tips. She didn't see the part right I said I need to go to the gym. It doesn't matter. Nobody cares about whatever you saw in the mirror that said you needed to go to the gym. You people think of you as a hot girl, a forever hot girl. You know, well, okay. You can't have tricks. Don't act like you don't have trips. No, no, no, but I'm a big walker.

I love walking. And that's one of the reasons I love coming home because I get to walk everywhere. Like, I'm literally going to leave here, go get my mom from the hotel and go walk. Go for a walk. I'm a little worried about my hair because I got to work tomorrow. But I look so good. I'm just going to just go with it. Thank you.

Yeah. This is going to sound cliche, but lots of water. I do a thing. This is my new thing. I take cloves, the dried cloves, and I take ginger, fresh ginger, and a cinnamon stick, and I make a tea. The cinnamon stick regulates your blood sugar, so you don't go up and down and get hungry. I put it in the fridge. I get it really cold, and you can add hydration powder, you can add whatever else you want to it. And I sip on that all day. If you drink cold tea or hot tea, it curb. It could be. your appetite. It flushes you out. It keeps you alert. It's hydrating. Clothes, cinnamon, ginger. And water. And water. Like a tea. I boil it on the stove. Let it boil, simmer. When it cools down, pour it into a glass because we don't do plastic anymore. Well, I try not to do plastic. Try it really hard. Red cups. I know, but red cups are kind of like a thing for black people and brown people.

You can't like just... You're all about the environment, but... I'm still hood! Where are those red cups? Because some people aren't going to know what we're talking about. People know what red cups are.

Everybody? Yes, everybody knows what a red cup is. Stop. There's an emoji in the phone, a red cup emoji. Everybody knows what the red cup is. But have they seen them in person? You want to show a cup?

I'm just saying, like... You want to drink out of the cup? No, we have a glutton. We're going to do this. But I'm saying, like, we used to do that. The podcast. Who?

This is a Red Cup, guys. For you young ins that don't know. They know especially. Oh, they do? I didn't know. Maybe. We had Patty LaBelle on the podcast. I saw that.

I didn't see the interview, but I saw that she was coming. I didn't actually see it. I love her. She's amazing. She's amazing. She's a national treasure. She is. An IHard Radio experience.

You end up how with weekend gold tickets to Lassau Montreal. Thomas Rett. Mumford and Sons Well here's my pride And here's my shame John Party, Old Dominion, Carly Pierce and more And the prize gets even sweeter

With flights from Porter Airlines Three nights at Residence Inn Downtown Montreal And $1,000 cash Download the free IHeart Radio App listen to Pure Country For 10 minutes And enter to win

Lasso, Montreal Every day you listen It's another chance to win I love the sounds The buzzing from the stadium The chanting from the fans the announcers calling the place soccer, football, it's home. Why do I watch the World Cup?

That's like asking me, why do I breed? I inherited that fandom from my mom. I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernanda Chavari, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the U.S. and its underdog roots. We go beyond the game to the people and the people,

and the stories that make it great. A soccer game is a festival. It's not just a game. It's your culture. I took an elbow to my head, which cracked my skull. It is an American game. The Brazilians don't like hearing that, though. Are they the only ones that don't like that?

Nobody likes that. As we get ready for the Men's World Cup this summer, listen to American Football as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges. I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer,

and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get podcasts. Keith Giamanka seemed like a mild-mannered suburban dad, but secretly he became someone else, a master of disguise who went on a crime spree. At the time, did it seem like a crazy idea?

It seemed very crazy, but I felt so desperate that I felt it was the quickest, easiest way out. Did you allow yourself to think about how it could go wrong or what that might be? might look like. No. I didn't want to manifest that. I was trying to manifest success. Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. This is going to change my life and my family dynamic forever because everything that had existed prior in my reality is now untrue. Listen to Deep Cover the Family Man on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

She told me that when she was coming up, she would drink out of these red cups or plastic cups. She would drink wine out of them. And Nina Simone said to her, no, darling, you must drink out of crystal. And what did she call it? It was a word for it. She called it fluff up. She called it fluffing up. Oh, I like that.

Right. And Patty LaBelle says ever since then, it's crystal for her. She drinks her wine out of crystal. She drinks her water out of crystals. So there's no more of the ease. Okay, sorry. And also they're not good for the environment. No, they're terrible for the environment.

You see, we've evolved. We've evolved. We've evolved. And if Patty says we should drink out of crystal. Then we're drinking out of crystal. Or Nina Simone says that we should all drink. I mean, those are our girls. Yes.

Then I think we've, we've got to drink. You must drink out of crystal. I think so. By the way, oh, this was good. Oh, you know what these are? We're not going to have time for this today. You know how many rap lyrics you're in?

Have you done this before? So many. So many. Okay. Just really quick. Knee along and a cherry thong. Knee along and a cherry thong. Sipping on Perignon.

Okay, Nause. That was Uchiwali, right? Mm-hmm. My only regret was too young for Nialong. That was a big one. That was a good one. That was a good one. It was like on a hit record.

It was a hit record. And they paused. That made me a hot mom. Because that was like when my kids were younger. Oh. So you're showing up to the school? Like, yeah. All y'all are too young.

What did the kids say? How do the kids feel about that? I mean, we're talking about private school in L.A. There were very few probably who knew the song. No, your kids. Oh, my kids. My kids were like, wow, like my mom is cool. They think I'm cool.

She's in the rap song. Trinny born, black like knee-along's grandmother. Fife dog. Fife dog. Aw, Fife. I know. Looking like I could be knee-along, boy. Smoking that Cheech and Chong?

Oh, that's Missy. Oh, Missy Elliott. Yeah, yeah. Touch it. Short hair like knee-along. Shrard hair like knee-along. Loose ones should don't need alone. Short hair like me alone

Who's supposed to get on me of that time? Short hair like me alone Is that like a southern rapper? That is Juicy J. Juicy J. Mm-hmm. Okay. Juicy.

Thanks, Juicy. Couldn't keep it at home, thought I needed a knee-along. Kanye. Kanye, touch this guy. That's a pretty good one. It's safe to say like the rappers, they like you. Yeah.

I like them. You do? I do. Have you ever tried that bucket? No, I should. I got a ball. Now it's going to be like, oh, she switched from young boys to robbers. No.

Geez, he was absolutely shooting his shot. Was he? He said that. It was public. I don't. You didn't get the vibe? No. We had a conversation and he was lovely.

He's lovely. He's lovely. Well, he said he was shooting a shot. But you didn't eat along. I think most rappers are going to shoot their shot. But, you know, the shot shooting has not been so good sometimes. A little. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

traditional ask me to go to dinner. You don't want like a slick little. I don't need a slick where I got to figure it out. I need you to come. Dinner? I think you're interesting. I think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner? Does that happen often?

Never. Because it's always like, I think it's like a good. I hope you didn't just tell them how to do it and now everywhere you go. I think you're interesting. I think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner? Hey guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really

make a difference? Well, you are not alone and this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills, and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to Waldenu.edu and take that first step. Walden, you're University set a course for change certified to operate by Shiv. All right, go in your IRL bowl. Pick a question.

Oh. If this were your last day on Earth, what would you be doing? I'd be eating ice cream, M&Ms, and watching a movie in bed with my kids and my mom. That's a good day. That's a great day. It's a great day. And we'd be very hydrated. because we'd have advanced night repair.

Ryan, where's the products? Oh, we have products? Come bring the products. I feel like, do you should be like game show music. There's products? Yay! Okay, what is it? So, okay, I got to put my glasses on.

Oh, my God. This is this right here. This is my holy grail. I love this so much. It's advanced night repair. It's been around forever, and it's a serum. You can, this is how I use it. If she uses this now till the trip, will she feel?

Oh, yeah. That's actually a great, because it'll give the glow. It'll give the glow of like I've been taking care of myself. So at night, wash your face, do your routine of washing your face. Then you want to pat yourself dry. I like to put a thick coat on and go to bed. I wake up in the morning, fine lines gone. Your face is feeling good and hydrated.

I also do it throughout the day. If I'm on a plane, if you're traveling, put in your purse. Oh my God, I've been on so many planes lately. It's so good. Can I, keep me this? That's yours. Okay, good. It's yours.

And then this is. You can open it too. It says night repair, but it doesn't have to be night. Like, if I'm on the plane, I can use it. I mean, they say night repair and I get in trouble for this every time, but honestly, you can do it. Okay. Right, Ryan?

They recommend that you use it morning and night. Thank you. Thank you, Ryan. Thanks, Ryan. I need a. If you just put it right here, I'm good. It's the wine. Oh, my God. And then this is so good. Isn't that nice? It's even good on your hands. I put it on my hands. And then this is the revitalizing.

According to Chris Rock, that's how women can tell their age. Chris Rock, I want to see his hands right here. We got to get him on the pod because I want to give him a piece of my mind. We should. Chris, where are you? I've never booked somebody to give them a piece of my mind. Oh, my God. That would be so good. Right. I have so many people I would like to give a piece of my mind to. This right here is the revitalizing Supreme Plus.

I mean, look at that. I'll take that. Do you see it? I just need it. I need it on the camera. You can't. You can't. Huh?

You see the difference? You see? Yeah. I'll take 15 of them. I'm into it. Okay. I love that you dab and pat your own makeup. I'm good. We love her. Thank you.

Okay. We're best friends. We're just been separated by distance. Did you try this? No, what do I do with us? This is the revitalizing Supreme Plus. Do I put this on top of this? You can put it on top of this, but this.

You're going to put it on top of your makeup? No. This is the neck cream that goes face to neck. Yo, Kiki was not lying because your neck is Good. It's good, but you got to work on it. I know. My neck is okay.

Your neck is good. It's not like yours. You have like a baby neck. Because you got to go, you have to massage it. I'm so bad. You have to. I'm good. I'm good.

Ready to go. No, I literally spend hours in the bathroom in the morning. Really? Yes. That would make me crazy. And I go to bed at 9.30. That would make me. Really?

Nine 30. I'm such a dead. I'm really a dad. No, we got a. I want to let this go. I want this to just, I don't want to edit this either. I want us to have four minutes on camera. Running the screen through our neck.

Now put the excess on your hands though. It's good. Like your cuticles. It's so good. I definitely use too much, right? No, I know. I am a, no such thing. I don't think there's any such thing as too much.

Okay. Never. The more of the, isn't that nice? That's really. You see? That's really good. It leaves a nice sheen. Huh?

Yeah. All right. I'm telling you. Thank you, Nia. So excited. There's more goodies for you, too. There is? Yeah.

We came with St. Bosque. You shop the campaign for Esté Loggerman? Mm-hmm. He is so... Who is it? So beautiful. You just had to insert that you have a thing for the Estée Lauder guy?

No, he was beautiful. Beautiful man. And she's drinking down in the aisle. It's like, actually, I'm just like, is this is really good casting because for me to turn that down. Right? You hear that girl. I mean, I guess. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Do you have a choice in the casting? Like, do you be like? I did. And I also had Benny Boom direct. Oh, I love that. I know.

I was like, let's do a 90s throwback. And Benny was there. And I called him. I was like, could you do? What do you think about this? I didn't know Benny did that. Yeah, we had fun. So you picked the.

guy. I picked. Well, they gave me a couple, the brand gave me, like, this is what, they gave the storyline and the breakdown and they said, these are the guys we think, what do you think? And we all picked. What's the thing? Roderick Hunter. Mr. Hunter. You said him, that guy. I said him.

Did you know immediately? Did I know immediately? What was it? What was the thing that made it? He's beautiful. He's beautiful. He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. I'm sure they put a bunch of beautiful men in front of you, you know? It was him and another guy that was good-looking. but very different good looking. The other guy was like a little more rugged looking but still really handsome. But I knew for this because it was a quick pop and he was familiar to me because he's an actor. I thought, you know, women are going to recognize him. So it's not, it's about selling the story, right? Like I can look outside of like him just being a good looking guy. It was also selling the story. He also has really good skin. And he was recognizable. So do you ever do you, do you,

Have you been able to choose leading men before? I have. When did you do? Can you say or you can't say? Even with Love Jones, it was Gary Dordan. Oh, wow. And Lorenz tape. And you said?

And I said Lorenz. And what happened was is the director showed our screen test to a group of women that were his friends. They showed both screen tests, mine with Gary and mine with Lorenz. And they were like, definitely them as a couple. And Gary was great too. And was just... And handsome and all the things. And beautiful, right.

But it was just we hadn't seen two brown skin black people in love that looked like they were from, you know, the same world. Like, we looked right together. Yeah. So... Isn't that crazy to think? I know. That it was so... It was just a good movie, too.

You guys made this... You guys brought these characters to life and the music and everything felt so authentic and fresh and new at the time. But now, in retrospect, It's like, wow, it took that long to show a couple that way in a way that's kind of like, wow, I don't know. But now since then, I feel like there's been so many times that we, I feel like the floodgates opened. Well, because we were coming off this, you know, renaissance of like hoodtails, which were also important and great and cinematically beautiful. But they were different slice of life for black and brown people. And then all of a sudden it was like, okay, how many versions of this?

can we do? And like, where's the humanity? Where's the love? Because, right, at the end of the day, that's really what is the most important thing is love. And so when I read the script, I was like, I have to do this movie. And Helena Echigoyan, who was a producer on Friday, was like, I have this other project I want to share with you. And she's, you know, she was like very casual about it. But like, she was on the front line fighting for black people to have their stories be told. She's since retired from the industry, but what she did do was incredibly important. And she became my friend and, you know, she guided the director on what to write and how to, you know, put the whole thing together. And she got, I mean, she got the movie Greenlit. And it was considered a flop when it

came out because it didn't make very much money. But, you know, the thing is, it was a cult classic. They didn't put the money behind it. They didn't put the marketing behind it. They said, yeah, we'll do this movie, but we're not going to put much money behind it and see, we'll just see what happens. And then. And then it became a cult classic. And we just did another film together, which is a very different film. I love that.

But I love Lorenz. Is the chemistry still? Yes. We still. What is that? It's, it's, I tell him all the time, I completely trust him. Hmm. I completely trust him as my guy in a movie.

Yeah. And he completely trusts me. And I can say, like, we can. have very honest conversations and we can agree or disagree. But there's a, there's a, there's a, kinship there. And I think we also know what we hold for the community. And so we guard that. And I especially guarded it in this last project because I was very like, hypersensitive to making sure we were in pocket. Yeah. The standard. The standard. That's it. Because you can't be what everyone else is doing if you're one of the originators.

Talk that shit, Mia. I mean, that's the only shit I'm going to talk today. Because it's not even an ego thing. It's just facts. Yes. What it is. Okay. All right.

In real life. Okay. In real life. In real life. In real life, tell me. What are you most proud about? About your career and who you are now? I am so proud that I've lasted this long, that I still have a place in a

space of relevance, that I am so supported and beloved by women. And that I, I, even though I don't always know them, know where the love is coming from, I feel the vibration in that support. And a genuine. And a genuine connection that I've been able to connect with women, with black women that look like me, that don't look like me, but are a part of who I am, you know, because we're all connected in some way. So I'm, I'm really proud that I've been able to make that impact. And I think that they're sure, there are other accolades that maybe others have gotten that I haven't gotten, but where I am is the sweet spot. Because they never leave. You know what I mean? Like there's, they're always there. I can always turn to my core group of

supporters and know that they have my back. And that, to me, is more important than any award, than any red carpet, than any anything. Because it's a connection to humanity. And at the end of the day, that's what's really most important to me. I mean, the whole point of art is to make people feel something, whether it's visual, whether you're on stage, whether you're on film, on television, on the radio, is to evoke. And that was your prayer today, too. That's so funny you say that. I know. I just My prayer before the pod was that we would have a conversation that would empower, inspire, or make somebody feel seen. My mother's calling.

Oh, mom. You're cute. Answer the phone. Why she just hung up. And we're almost done. I know, but like. She'll be like, hi, are you coming back? Okay, we're almost done.

I thought we were going for a walk. Is that how she talks? Does she have a strong accent? She has a strong New York accent. I love that. It's very cute. In real life, What are you still working on?

Myself. Forever, right? Forever. Forever in a day. Just being aware, just being conscious, just deciding what I can be better at and deciding what I am committed to. Because there are certain things that are just not going to change. When was the last time you cried from gratitude? The other day I cried from gratitude, actually on the flight here, because of my star on Hollywood Boulevard.

Because I was thinking about the times my mom and I used to walk on Hollywood Boulevard, and we would read the names of the stars on the street. And she'd say, well, one day you're going to have a star in Hollywood Boulevard. I was like nine. And before I even started acting, I was on the flight. I started crying. I started thinking about how incredibly blessed I am and how this journey has been not easy at all. And it's still not easy.

But there's something cool about it because it just seemed like, the most unrealistic thing that could ever happen to my life. And now it's happening. I think you're giving me a message now too because, you know, I got one for radio. They have a radio cat. I mean, I got a star. No, well, I received the invitation that I got. I won the thing.

Yes. Never have gone to accept it because, number one, it's expensive. It's expensive. I know you have to get someone to pay for it. And then I'm like, Lionsgate, treat it me. Oh, that is nice. I thought it was really cool. I'm going to get somebody to treat me.

Because I'm like, do I really care about this? Yes, you care. I didn't know if I did. But now you're making me feel like I should. Well, here's the thing. It's not about the star being on the ground. It's about the acknowledgement of your body of work. And when you're gone, there's going to be some amazing Latina radio host who's going to look back on what you did and go.

oh, she did it, I could do it too. So it's legacy, right? And because we're like real people, the idea of legacy is kind of like, oh, that's, is that what I'm doing? Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm just living. I'm not planning for this to be some legacy. Yeah.

But if you threaten what I've done, that's when I realize it's legacy. We're the same human being. Yeah, I'm like, you're not about to mess up with that. Sometimes I'll see stories and I feel written out of something. And that's when I feel threatened. And that's the times where I'm like, let me,

let me remind. Like just how you did with just how you did about Love Jones being the, that is ours for this new storytelling. Yes. Or the beginning of this new storytelling. Very protective. And that started in the 90s. Yeah.

Yeah. You got to remind them. I just think that's lesson for women. Yes. In general, whether you're an actress, whether you do what I do, whatever. Like sometimes it's okay to brush your shoulders off. Yeah, remind the motherfucker.

All day. What's what you have worked really hard to do? Because men do it all the time. Yeah, shit was hard. It was hard. And we did some dope shit. And we did dope shit. I did that.

Yeah. In real life. What's a guilty pleasure? Guilty pleasure? Um, I probably shop too much. I probably shopped. Oh, really? You're a shopper.

I shop. That's where we are not the same. We're not the same? I fucking hate shopping. You do. I want to die. Not even online. You don't have to go anywhere.

I can do it online, but then it comes and I got to try it on and I got to ship it back. If it doesn't fit, it's like the work of shopping, I really don't care. So we should vacation together because then I wouldn't spend unnecessary money. If somebody could lay my clothes out for me today every day. Oh, you would like that? I would. I would hate that. You would.

Yes, because what if I'm not in the mood for that? Fair enough. But if it looked fine enough, I would just wear it. I'm like, it's fine. I'll wear this. Even the podcast. Yeah, no, that's, I get it. I'll just wear this.

It's fine. Yeah. I can't with the shopping and the... Do you overpack? Yes, because I don't know what I'm going to wish. I just throw everything in and then when I get there, I'll figure out which of this I'm going to throw on. Okay.

It's terrible. I don't have that really girl gene of like... Every... You know what I find with myself is that I'm a sucker for like trying something new. Hmm. So right now, and this is my goal when I leave this New York trip. Okay. I have every single thing that I need. I don't need a sock.

I have the little hot, trendy Michael Jackson socks to wear with my loafers. Like, I have it. I should have worn them today, but I didn't bring them. But it would have been cute with this outfit. It would have been really cute. Okay. When I get home, it's purging. Because now I'm at the place where I only want the things that actually really work for me.

And I want to give everything else away. The things I love. The things. I love. I don't want the things I kind of love. I want the things I have a deep, loving connection with. Because it's probably crazy. It's got to be crazy. You got pieces from the 90s. I do. In storage. I bet. I still have my Kenneth Cole black snake embossed shoes that I wore when Prince tried to talk to me. And I didn't know who it was Prince. Did you keep them because it was she? Yes. I was like. I was This was the night I met Denzo, Washington, and Prince in the same night.

I'm going to keep these. I'm keeping these bumps for my daughter. Because surely she'll have some. I mean, I'm never going to have a daughter, but my granddaughter. I'm done with kids. Was he shooting a shop? Was a shot being Prince? Yeah.

Oh, yes. He grabbed my hand. And I was like, and then we got to the car and my hate and ass girlfriend at the time, because she should have told me earlier. Like, let's be real, it was Prince. She goes, girl, you know that was Prince. I go, why didn't you tell me before we left the building? So how would you have played this different?

Well, if I knew it was Prince, I would have just turned around and said hello. And then I met him years later, once I became an actress. And I was like, I met you a long time ago. And he was lovely, but we talked about my hair the whole time because he liked my haircut. He was no longer shooting a shot. He was not. Oh, so he wasn't giving you the arm touch because you were knee along because you weren't even knee along. No, he was giving me the arm touch.

because I was petite and brown and that's what he likes. And, you know, he's like, who's this little young, hot girl in the fake leather pumps? And the outfit that I wore to every party. And then what was that, how did you meet Denzel in the same day? Denzel was just there. I mean, I didn't talk to Denzel at that point, but I was like, Denzel, Washington's here. Putting these shoes in storage.

Putting these shoes have miles on them. In real life, what is something that you were no longer? I'm going to apologizing for. Knowing what I know. And I'm also not negotiating. I'm not. I can't. No apologizing.

No negotiating. No, I'm open to learning and growing and understanding. But what I know works for myself is part of my truth. then that's not negotiable. Like, you know. I do. You might question, but you know. We always know.

We always know. And we convince ourselves to, for other, mad different reasons, to ignore the things that we know. And you've known it for a long time. Yeah. So now you listen to that. Now I don't even, like,

if there's a part of me that even wants to try to doubt it for 30 seconds, I like, no, you know. It's freedom. That's where the freedom is when you know what you know. Otherwise, you're, like, trapped inside of your head and you're... Yeah. So good. Going back and forth. Okay. Last two. What do you pray for most? I pray for patience because I'm not the most patient person in the world. We've learned that about you. Yeah, I'm not. I try, but it's like, so many things are really obvious to me that I'm like, how do you not see that? Yeah.

How do you not see that? Do you not. Get away from me. Because if I have to tell you, that means that we're not on the same trajectory. I get really impatient when I'm working really hard and I'm tired and I feel like other people are not rising to their occasion. Listen to me. And so I have to now engage in your motherfucking occasion when I'm trying to just. hold on to, you know.

That is the realest thing ever. How do you manage it? Because I just tell everyone to leave. I'm like, get out. And then they never want to come back. And then I'm like doing all the work by myself. Oh yeah, bitch. You can do it all.

You want to go? Go. Yeah, no. And then you're like, shit. I'm like, help. I need help now. Well, you know, we will try to figure it out. No, I try to be more patient.

I find that when you actually explain yourself where you're coming from, people go, oh, because they're not thinking what I'm thinking. No one can read my mind. Yeah. You know? How's that working for you? Hello. The part, I think the hard part about it is that when you're famous, nobody wants to really tell you.

And everyone's like, yeah, it's good. Okay, I got it. Oh, yes, ma'am. Yeah. And I don't, I really want you to understand. I don't want you to feel like you have to placate me. Like, let's have the tough conversations. Yeah.

Let's dig deep. You can tell me that I'm being whatever. I don't care. It's not going to make me not like you. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. That keeps you from having yes man around you.

Yes. I'm like, say the truth. Say what it is. I'm going to. Let's put it on the table. Let's put it on the table and dissect it because when we rebuild, we're going to be on solid foundation. If you're flimming and flamming and dipping and dappin, I don't really,

or we can get to the truth quicker that this doesn't work. that's it right thing. Yes. Process of elimination. Let's just get to it. Let's get to it. In work, in relationships, in friendships, in friendships, everything. Let's get to it.

If we're going to be lovers, we're lovers. If we're going to be in a deep, heavy relationship, we're that. If we're going to be friends, we're that. If we're going to be business partners, you can do that. Yes. There's no more gray area. Yes. She's my queen.

She's my queen. twin queen. I hate gray. Gray is horrible. It's terrible. What sign are you? Capricorn. Oh yeah. I like Capricorn women. Y'all don't play. What are you? I'm a Scorpio. Mm-hmm. Serious about your business. A little crazy though, no? Scorpios? Is that, is that another thing? No, we're sexual. Oh. We like to. Yeah, we're very passionate. She said sexual. She didn't say passionate. She said, well, those are the same. You could be sexual and passionate. Mm-hmm. But I would say, I would say we feel things.

I feel things deeply. I can't speak for every Scorpio person, but I feel things deeply. And I also know the truth in every situation. Yeah. So people will call you crazy, but it's not that. No, I don't think anyone's ever called me crazy. Well, not you.

I'm saying Scorpio. Maybe they have. I don't really care. That's one of those things of I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck if you call me crazy. All right, our final question will ask us every episode to every guest. Okay. if God were to text you right now

some message to Nia from God directly I'm tuning in to him what would it say good job girl today or in life in life I think in life good job

because he knows how hard to work and he also knows my heart so then good job girl good job This is Neil Long in real life. Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comments, and check out all of the other episodes we have

on Andrew Martinez, IRL podcast. It's that time to put on your jersey and wave your flag, whoever you root for. Why do I watch the World Cup? That's like asking me, why do I breed? And it's beautiful. The guys are young and cute and fit. It's not just a game.

It's your culture. I like watching it with my dad. It's a connecting force. From Futuro Studios, I'm Fernanda Chavari, and this is American Football, a show about soccer culture in the U.S. and its underdog roots. Listen to American Football on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Joy is essential, and it's also elusive, but now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.

Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Open your free IHeart radio app. Search Joy 101, and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby is presented by CVS. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is, getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is. getting a new one put up in its place. I'm Akela Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 is about both of those things. As I was watching these statues come down, I was thinking about what it meant

that I grew up in a majority black city, in which there were more homages to enslavers than there were to enslave people. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every family has its secrets. But what happens when you discover that your dad has been living a double life? That is not the look of an innocent man. Is everyone lying to me about who they are? I felt such desperation.

I felt it was what I had to do. Listen to Deep Cover the Family Man on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.