Joe and Jada - Angie Martinez IRL - Victoria Monet: Grammys, Self-Love & Taking the Stage with Bruno Mars

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

Grammy-award winning artist and author, Victoria Monet sits down with Angie Martinez to talk about dating men vs. dating women as a bisexual woman, the disappointment she felt after winning her Grammy Awards, and her experiences with mediation. Plus, a voicemail from a fan who wants to know if she'll ever change up her style of music. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or https://promo.boostmobile.com/webuilt...All lines provided by ‪Hard Rock BetSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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and who we become when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty

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be out of that phase out of my skin, and I just, like, really regret not living in the present more. You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You just need to understand yourself a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get, your podcasts. The women that I've dated are, like, have been, like... Sexy, too? Yeah, a little bit femme. A little bit more, like, in the middle or more femme than masculine.

But I also think about, like, children and just, like, be thrown against the ball. So I'm so weak. I'm feminine. Hey, guys, today's episode is brought to you by BoostMobil. So our guest today was growing up writing poetry instead of going to party. She spent 15 years writing hit records for folks like Ariana Grande, Nas, Brandy, and Moore. She is a three-time Grammy winner, New York Times bestseller, a culinary student, a mom to the youngest Grammy nominee in history. And this summer, she's going to stadiums, the stadiums of Europe with Bruno Mars. Welcome Victoria Monet, Tyrant.

And we are dressed like... Men in black. Very black. I don't know if we're going to be security. or R&B group. I don't know what it's happening, but we were in sync today without even trying.

I love it. Hi, baby. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you doing? I'm good. All right, so you have many accolades. You've been through a lot of seasons.

Where are we at now? What season is this right now? I think this is like self-love season. Was it not always? Yeah, I suppose. But I feel like I put other people above the amount of love I had for myself. So now I fully feel like the frequency that I'm on

feels very loving, gentle towards myself. What is the act of that? I think it's my side quest. Because instead of doing something that I've been doing for 15 years, which would technically pay me, you know, pursuing music, pursuing artistry, songwriting and all of that that I'm known for, I've been over here doing culinary school, studying Tai Chi, boxing class, stretch class, the weight training.

I did a six-week intensive also with this coach called Wittali, and he had me doing meditations along with the sun. So I'd do it at sunrise, at Zenith, and at sunset, and as you gaze into, like, you go outside and you turn to each direction, like north, south, east, west, and it's this meditation. So it takes a certain amount of commitment to do that three times a day, no matter what's going on. Three times a day is a real commitment. For real. For real. But I think it's what I need is just what I needed to kind of shift my energy. Wait, so has this been like a year?

This has been all year you've made these things? No. Well, for the past year I've been doing all of them, but not all at the same time. So this meditation that I was doing with the sun, the sun was for six weeks straight. You just finished that? No, this was in the fall. What came out of it? I just felt like awakened.

I felt like it's almost that feeling that you get when you fast. Have you ever fasted for long enough where you feel like you're a little, like, lowly? Yeah. It was like that, but naturally. So it's almost like there was some kind of influence, like how you feel when you have a sip of wine or how you feel. I don't know if you could talk about this on here, but like it shrooms or anything like that. You're like, huh, I'm more alert, more awakened. but it just happened with breathwork and meditation and, like, giving yourself that time and, like, paying attention to God and, like, acting with the sun, being outside in the sun, getting that vitamin D.

All of that was really influential in my mood. And it was, like, coffee or something. Were you doing it just as, like, exploratory you want to learn things? Or were you doing it to get through something? I definitely was wanting to get through something, and I felt like I needed some kind of change, like some urgent change. Last year, being the year of the snake, a lot of shedding was happening in my personal life and in my business, lots of changes in business. And just trying to do something that takes you out of your own algorithm. I feel like really resets something in your spirit and in your mind to feel something else.

So it's something that I felt called to do. I found out about him through this breathwork class at my eyebrow. What are they called? an esthetic eyebrow person my eyebrow person she's really spiritual and she's always talking about

you know your signs and angel numbers and all of that so she introduced me to this coach who did a breathwork class and I took my mom I took my friends

tell me how it goes though like what do you do? Yeah like what is the what is the ritual you go in when I tell you it's so crazy you think that it's like

that some L.A. Whoa, whoa. Yes, it sounds like that. But it actually, before the class starts, he kind of goes through, passes out these notebooks that has you write down your intentions, what you want to get from this intensive. And also these animals that you may be aligned with. So there's like an eagle, there's a jaguar, there's all these different animals that, like, which one do you feel most like? So you identify that. Which one did you feel?

There's jaguar. There was a jaguar on there. I was like, yeah, for sure. What would my animal be? Yeah, what would your animal be? What do you feel like today? Like an owl? Okay.

What made you say owl? I don't know. Just because I feel like an owl would just be chilling, watching, waiting, not super aggressive or super needy. Yeah. Just kind of like. Alert and present. Just present and assessing. Yeah.

Yeah. And. I wonder what the spiritual meaning of it is. Of an owl? Yeah. Because when you identify the animal, there's also a spiritual meaning attached to it before you even know what it is. You choose the animal and then they reveal to you. Yeah.

And so you're a jaguar. Why? Because you're like. You know what? I don't remember the exact definition. Is it because you feel like fluid and. When I think of. You move.

Is it to do it movement? Like what? At that phase, I felt like a jaguar. I don't know if I feel like that anymore. But to me, when I think of jaguars, they are camouflaged in, like, their environment, but they're watching and they know exactly when to strike and kind of pounce. And they have a really strong bite once they latch. They have the strongest bite in the jungle.

Like, they really bite down. But it takes a minute. They're patient. And then their claws are out. I also like how sensual they feel like when they're walking the way they're showing. shoulder blades look. It feels like there's a little bit of mystery there. Now I feel a bit softer. Like my claws are not out anymore. I feel more relaxed in my position. Who would your animal be now? I don't know. I love this question. I think everybody should figure out

their animal today. Everybody's animal. Yeah, what's your animal? I don't know if it's an animal. Maybe it's more like a butterfly. Like I feel like I have transformed. So I used to be something. Yeah, like I have these wings and I'm floating higher above different things and I can land on whatever flowers I want and go sniff over here and see what's going on. But I used to be a caterpillar, you know, like I came from something and I put in the work to transform and I trusted that moments in the dark where it felt like I don't know what I'm becoming, but I'm just going to snuggle in here and be. So maybe you said that word snuggle when you came in. Yeah, I want to snuggle. I'm like, I'm feeling snuggly. Definitely not jaguar vibes.

No, Jaguars are not smuggling with nobody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're in a different area. You're like a koala bear. Yeah. Butterfly. Have you seen the red panda?

No, are you a red panda? Maybe you're a red panda. They're so cute. I'm sorry, I'm side-questing again. No, that's so cute. That's interesting, though, because it's about, like, it forces you to, like, think about where you are. Yeah.

Think about your temperament. Right. It forces you to, like, look at yourself in, like, a fun kind of way, right? So that's probably what that does. Yeah, for sure. And then the breathwork does what? The breath work, it's another one of those things that make you feel like you have taken something. But it's just with your breath.

I think oxygen has delivered some kind of oxytocin serotonin. Something's going on. I don't know the exact definitions of it. We're not going to hold you to it like you're an expert doctor. You scientists out there. You let me know in the comments. She's just planted the seeds of hurry. experience. It's for you to do the research. Yes. Yes. So taking this breathwork class,

um, the breathwork can make you feel high and it makes you, it actually brings up traumas. Sometimes like your, your eyes are closed and the patterns in which he has you breathe, there's like a journey that he takes you on. So at one point, you could almost, uh, hear messages or you could tap back into a memory that you didn't even even, think that you needed to address and it would come to you. Did that happen to you? Yeah. Yeah.

And it sounds really crazy, but there's a chance that your body responds by your hands, what they call chickeny. So they'll be stuck in a certain position, but it's all based on trauma. So different people in the room are going through all these different things, but you have a blindfold. There's like special music playing. When you take your blindfold off after the breathwork experience, Everyone kind of goes around the room and he asks people like, what did you experience?

One person in the room had some kind of, I would want to say, like a tumor that was stuck. They literally vomited up. It sounds really crazy. And I swear I'm not cuckoo. But this is what was happening in this class, like these types of things. And some people's experience was I went to every doctor and they couldn't tell me what was wrong with me. I came to this class. I experiences, I vomited whatever trauma it was, and now I feel great.

There's all these stories about people doing the breathwork class and they're really physically healing them. Is this breathwork in general or this specific person in the wet? This was an intensive one, so it was about four hours of it. So like the first hour was him talking about the experience and what to expect and doing that worksheet. And then there was like two and a half hours of the actual breathwork and then another. 30 minutes or an hour of kind of talking about it with everybody. But this is something that people do daily, some people. And I think that's why when I think of like people who don't have distractions,

for example, like a monk. Like, I'm obsessed with the monks. Do you see what I'm saying? I do. I really believe they have powers. And the flow state and the calmness and the evenness of how I, by the way, I've never been a monk. So I don't know. But in my imagination, how they move through the world is fascinating.

Exactly. That's what I think about these people who have those disciplines, daily practices. And I do feel like it's possible that you tap into more using more of a percentages of your brain. So you can do things like change things or move things or float a little like maybe I do sound a little bit crazy. But I do believe that if we remove distractions, we could do all kinds of. Yeah, for sure. Hello, my friends. Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet, Florida Sportsbook.

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Hard Rock Bet has new promos daily. So open up the app right now and see what promo you got today. That's what you do. download the hard rock bet app and let the games begin i think it's just like everybody has different ways to break through things yeah and there's so many people especially now the world is crazy things are designed to stress you out and to give you fear and and we're so busy that we don't deal with the things that are eating at us so they sit and then that stuff just becomes so hard to deal with it and hard to sort through yeah and so like

finding this is like one way to like sort through the junk yeah to clear the path i guess right so you can have all that stuff kind of come in yeah and i think whatever the path is however you had to clear it out clear it out clear it get a clean girl we've had people on the pod talk about like shrooms yeah iowasca iowasca or chelsea handler does like what did chelsea do md md mdm a which that scares me but she swears by it. Or ketamine or... Some people, Tashira, Tasha Smith, some people, it's prayer. Like deep, like prayer is like how they kind of sort through the noise and get connected.

So this is just like another way. It's interesting. I've never done it. I would totally try it. We should do that. There's no drugs involved. No drugs. So I feel like I can...

It's safe. It's safe. Yeah. You know what I did one time, which was interesting? It reminded me what you're talking about. did, have you called, it's EMDR? Is it EDIR? Is that when you put something attached to both sides of your body and there's like,

yeah, people do it. Right, people do it different ways. It's like, they make your eyes go like this. And it's supposed to be like one side of your brain holds your trauma. And the weight of the therapy is to move the trauma to the other side of your brain. The side of your brain that holds just memory so that when you think of the trauma, it's almost like thinking of something in a movie. It's not attached to emotion.

It's not attached to emotion. It's like, you could be like, oh, yeah, I went through this bad car accident, or I saw somebody get murdered, and you could say it as a story without feeling it in your body. And when it's on the other side of your brain, you could get scared when you're in the car, which is what was happening to me, which is why I went and did it. But when I did it, the same thing you were talking about with the breathwork, old shit came up that I hadn't thought about since I was a kid. I was like, what?

Hold on, where did that? Right. What was that? Where did that come from? I forgot about that. Yeah. And it's wild how the brain holds stuff that we're walking around and we don't even realize that we're holding onto. Right.

It's crazy. I think it also physically manifests so that when I hear people, you know, with cancer specifically, I feel like sometimes that could have come from not only the products and the way that we have with our food systems and America and all of that, but also stress. Like when you're holding certain things. things that you don't clear it. Some, it's like becomes these knots in your body or your cells respond to it in a way that physically manifest into certain diseases. So I think stress levels and clearing that out is even physically important just as it is mentally important. Good for you. I love that you're, that you've done this amount of work on yourself. Really working on it. I'd, I could feel you lighter. You feel lighter. I mean, you never felt heavy.

You didn't feel like a heavy energy. You're always lovely and sweet. Thank you. But yeah, I love that for you. Thank you. It's an easier way to walk around the world, right? Yeah, a lot more weightless. I mean, I'm still trying different things.

Most recently, I observed Ramadan. You're not Muslim, though, right? I'm not, no. But I felt called to do it, and I wanted to explore the discipline. And I'm not technically Muslim, But I think, you know, one of the things that Muslims believe is that when you're a messenger for God or when you believe in God, then that's one of the definitions of being a Muslim, like putting God's ideas before your own. And when you're talking about fasting and praying, you're kind of out of your own flesh. So that's a really nice way to feel connected and, you know, hear for something bigger than yourself.

So it was really a really great experience for me too. And I'm so open to continuing these spiritual modalities. So is it just something that calls you and you just try it? You just try it. You're just down for it. I want to be open to it. You know, like I think maybe growing up in a Baptist household, that's just, you know, the messages, that's who we are, that's how we are. But now I want to kind of know about other.

ways of thinking and believing and then see if I really return back to my roots or if I adapt any other ideologies or just being open-minded to how the rest of the world may do things. Imagine the whole world could be like that. Imagine people could actually be interested in other people's experiences. You know, it's like we are interested but not deeply. Like, we're so interested that we have an Instagram. Like we're so, we'll follow and like and like Start this level, be interested, but not like with empathy. Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of it has judgment or, yeah. Comparison. Mm-hmm. All that. Or watch it. Yeah. We don't want to be like that. No, we don't want to be like that.

So what is all this like, so how does this affect you as an artist? So now you're like back in work mode, right? Like, has this past year been not a lot of work? No, this has been in addition to work. Just stacking it on. Stacking it up because you were working on this project. right and bearing for this tour. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's just the days became longer. I started the days at 4 a.m. And then training and then the meditations for about six weeks of it. And then off to school, then after school vocal lessons and then studio. Culinary lessons happened also. Yeah.

You still do vocal lessons though, by the way? Yeah. Yeah. I want to be better. wasn't doing it in the beginning of my career, which was a grave mistake. And I don't know. Like, girl, what were you thinking? I didn't do it consistently. I was like, oh, I already sing and I'd do it every once in a while. But one thing that was really inspiring to me was working with Usher. And he was still taking vocal lessons. I was like talking about legends here and they're still

working on their craft, which is so inspiring. So I was like, let me go ahead and be consistent. So I went to vocal lessons and speech pathology class. And I think even, just clearing myself energetically helped my voice. What are you getting ready for? You know what? I mean, it feels like- Because you're getting ready for war. Literally, I'm in training camp.

Emotional, spiritual war. Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe it's just in order to take on the next level of success, I have to be deserving of it and ready for what it may bring. I think music, the music industry spiritually is, can be very dangerous and dark. So the deeper you walk into it, the more you may be tempted or the more tested or attacked.

So I feel like I'm building a really strong force field that's like of light. Like, okay, I can handle all of it. I know who I am. Yeah. Spiritually grounded. I had nowhere to return to if I feel shaky. Like I'll go back to breathwork. I'll go back to fasting.

I'll go back to, you know, maybe just cooking in the kitchen and singing there versus the show. So, you know, being so worried about what everyone thinks of me. Was that a thing for you? Yeah. I think, honestly, it's tough not to compare or be on a stage and, like, be present, not worry about if that audience member is really liking the vocals or, like, you know, it's just all these. They're like quick thoughts. I'm not ruminating on them, but they come. They come.

Yeah. They take you down if you let them. They would. I'm excited for the. new season for you. Thank you. I mean, it's just like we're all just trying to like always work on ourselves, right, and become a better versions of ourselves.

Right. Do you feel like, um, do you feel? Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman, help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between songs.

songs banter. There's the worst singer in the group. The worst? Yeah. Me. Is there anything to the idea that because you're from Harvard, you only got in because your parents made a huge donation. The group.

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As women trans, as immigrants, and as a workadouras sexual. I'm going to get to where have to get like a perr, to belear with garras and eunas. But when she murgues, Nobody will

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Right. I want to do that. And honestly, when you stop doing that, I think is when you, when you're, when you're, body starts giving out when you start losing energy, you start losing motivation and passion because you're not inspired and learning anything. I want to learn something new all the time. I just shot my first film that I wrote and directed myself as a short, but you're starting that. Learning how to do that.

Yeah. Messing up, bumping my head. Like, oh, wasting money. Like, oh, like I did that. I learned to golf three years ago, which I'm still learning. It's like I'm learning something new. literally every week. Yeah.

But just, yeah, I learn from my guests all the time. I just learned about this level of, I mean, I know about breathwork, but this way that you kind of did it is a new interesting idea, thought to me. I may actually go try that now. Yeah, I'm going to send you his page. He does his intensive. But that's really cool that you, like. You have to, right?

That's everything. That's really why we launched the pod. It's like, I want to learn from people. I don't want to just learn skills. Yeah. I want to learn how to navigate, how people are navigating through the world. Yeah. Successfully. Yeah. And I don't mean success money and business a fit, nothing like that, but like you like you're getting something out of what you're experiencing. Yeah. Yeah.

I think, I mean, when I think about just the piece at like the golf course. Oh my God, it's the greatest thing ever. You golf before, right? You told me that. I did my freshman year of high school and I was walking through high school with my little golf clubs just as a freshman, just already like nervous. And someone was like, what are you tired of? sister, I was like, mom, I gotta stop golf. Like, already done with it. I just wanted to dance. How did that happen? Your mother wanted you to do something different? She was like, there's no black golfers. And if you black and you golf, you're going to get a

scholarship. I was like, I'm not even good. I don't even know what I did. It's so hard. It's really hard. But I feel now as an adult, it may feel meditative. You didn't feel, you didn't fall in love, but you didn't like it at all. No, no, the outfits, the, but now I think I would love. I mean, I love top golf. I know it's different. Totally different. But that's one. We're going to take you. But you're at this eight, so you're what, high school you said when you were golfing? Yeah, freshman in high school. But you're probably like, you already have dreams of being a star, no? You're writing. Are you singing? Are you? Yeah, I was like, this is not going to be. I don't see me getting a golf scholarship. Mom, I appreciate it. I want to be an artist. I want to fly. It's going to be a stop. Yeah. Yeah. So that was, that was short-lived. Did she believe in that at the time? Um, she was like, yeah, because it was a performing arts high school. I was like, why am I going to performing arts high school to perform golf? It really didn't, it didn't clock, but she was trying her best as a single mom to be like,

you're not going to be in the situation that I'm in, you're not going to, you're going to be better, you're going to go further. And I just had a different way of doing that. It's a lot scarier and a lot less of a guarantee my way, I guess. But eventually. worked out. She wasn't against it though. She was, yeah. No, no, she wasn't. I mean, she didn't like that I was coming

home late because I was at dance rehearsals. It was very sister act vibes. Like, really? Yeah, I was like, Mom, I just want to dance. And she was like, you're not going to keep coming in my house at 1 a.m. from dance rehearsal. And I was like, but you should see what the other kids are out there doing to 1 a.m. I'm just dancing. It was very that. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. She needed to get me together, though.

She wasn't wrong. I was coming home. She wasn't wrong. She wasn't wrong. But it paid off. It did. So I guess we was both right. Wait, you mentioned going, you mentioned the shift of the Chinese New Year.

Yeah. Which was, it was the year of the snake. Year of the snake. And then we went into horse. Fire horse. Yeah. So what does that, how does that affect you? Fire horse, they say it means that things are going to go by really, really fast.

Like, imagine the horse galloping in the direction that you're supposed to go. And it's also a one year, which is the end of a nine-year cycle that we may have all been in. So it's kind of a new beginning. Maybe we'll all have lots of different shifts that we're experiencing in our personal, financial, spiritual career lives. But quickly and probably more in the direction of alignment that you're supposed to be in. But when you think about that and you make yourself aware of that, it feels like it all makes sense. Like whatever happened last year, the shedding that we've done, you probably would be like, oh, that's why that person's not in my life. Oh, that's why I'm not doing that anymore. It's because it was literally aligned to do so up until I believe February 17th is one of the year of the firehorse technically started. Interesting.

So yeah, it feels good. I think, and this year has been going fast. It's been like. Oh, yes. It's flying. It's flying. Like damn near May already? Yeah, yeah. It's flying. Yeah. So I feel aligned with what's happening in my life, too. What about you? You feel like... Oh, yeah. I'm doing all types of new things and new experiences and shifting and making changes in my life, too, that are... I don't know. I'm in a little bit of a...

You know, there's seasons in your life where you have figured out what you want to do and you're in the process of transitioning. But then there's seasons where you kind of have to sit still. Yeah. And like, and I'm a little bit, I'm working. Trust me. I work, I work. Of course. I have a workhorse, right?

So I have ideas and creative things. And we want to do the stores. And I have this project and I'm, blah, blah, blah. And so all of that. But internally and personally, I'm kind of like waiting. The owl. Oh, yeah. That's why I'm the owl.

Yeah. And I'm also trust. And I'm not just waiting. I'm just like in a flow state. You're allowed. Like I'm trusting. Yeah. I'm receiving.

I'm paying attention. into, you know, the road. That feels very feminine to me. That's a very feminine energy. Is it? I love that because I've always been accused of the opposite. Really? Yes.

No, this is very feminine. I think that femininity is like an art of allowing, art of space, and just like being in a flow, masculine energy is like, I'm going to hunt, I'm going to go get, and I'm going to make it happen. But you're on the other side, and that's still so powerful. and it takes a lot of power to allow yourself to do that. Especially when you naturally operate the other way. Yeah, go-getters. Yeah, I'm a natural go-getter.

For sure. So for me to be like, let me just ride this wave. Yeah. Let me just ride it, see how it feels. It's actually kind of cool. I'm into it. Yeah, it's empowering. Well, breathwork might be good for me, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might try that. For sure, for sure. All right, culinary school. I love that for you. Speaking of new things. What has that been like for you? It's actually been one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Are you really going to take this all the way to be a chef? I don't plan on working at a restaurant full time, but I do want to make things happen in the culinary space. So I can imagine having something on the shelves, grocery stores. I'm wanting, I mean, people fell in love with my cookies. so I started a business called Sweet Monase. I haven't really launched it yet. But I think my goal on tour would be to have the Sweet Monase cookie truck trailing my tour bus. And so people can get merch and cookies there.

I feel like this is already happening. I mean, it's in the manifesto. I also have a series called Saucy Sundays that I've been doing. We're on Sundays I will just give different recipes a piece of different sauces. I really think that sauce changes the dynamic of any food. Like, same pasta, a whole bunch of different sauces, like, can really eat. That's seven meals in a week. Like, or the rice with whatever sauce, the fish with whatever sauce, like, just opens up really

in a really simple way, ways for people to change the way they're cooking. So I want probably to have that on the shelves. You're probably like a dream girlfriend. You think so? I'm so single, though. The cooking is not attracting me. I mean, hello, anybody want to be? Why are you single, though?

Because you want to be? Because I would imagine there's options for you. There is a lot of options. But I am so busy. Doing all the side quests. I don't know. Doing breath classes and cooking. Doing breath, working cooking.

Like, I don't. And making albums and prepping for Bruno Marr's tour. Yes. Yeah. It's a lot. And I think the season says to me. me that like I do need to continue to focus on myself, but I'm probably also preparing for that right person. Like everything that I'm becoming is probably, hopefully what he's also doing

so that when we meet where the people we're supposed to be and we're together and it actually lasts, you know, hopefully. But you said he. He, yeah. Well, only because I do. Because you've been open about the girls. The girls do me dirty. Dirty. No, the girls. Oh, the girl. Really? Yeah. I would, this is not ever something I've ever explored, but I would always imagine that girls would be easier to marry. Worse. Really? My experience has been, they're a bit worse, yeah.

How so? Maybe just bad picking. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe it's that. But also, like, girls, they don't really approach me seriously. They approach me, like, sensually. And I'm like, well, I would want it to be something more serious.

And I haven't really gotten that approach from many women. They're just like, oh, she's beautiful. She's attractive or like talking about my body and stuff. Yeah. It's like a sexual thing. Yeah. So maybe they don't take me seriously. But when I think of my next relationship, I've been in a space where I want, because I'm feeling so feminine, like I want the opposite energy and I'm feeling like a masculine.

Maybe it's a masculine woman. Yeah. I'm not sure. I've never really tried that. The women that I've dated have been like... Sexy too? Yeah, a little bit femme, a little bit more, like in the middle or more femme than masculine. But I also think about like children and just like be thrown against the ball.

So I'm so weak, I'm feminine. And like the masculine figure. So in my head, I think it might be a guy. Yeah, that's what you're right right now. Right now, it could change. Because you have, because you're open, that you have so many more options than somebody who just dates, you know, a man or a woman. You would think, but I think that you would have so many more options because you're open to more. You would think, but not really.

Like, they're, the ladies aren't, they're not aggressive with mirror approaching me in a serious way. It's more just, you know what's going to happen now because you've said this out loud. Now my DMs are going to be lit with women. I'm thinking to be like since, I don't know what you have before. I'm a different kind of woman. You're about to get all that type of talk. Hey, hello. I'm single, so the options are.

Do you like being single or is like love and finding a partner and somebody like to kind of navigate this really important to you? I'm such a lover girl. And I think maybe that might be the caveat about me is because when I'm in a relationship, it's I'm all about that person. I'm all about being of service and helping them make their life better. and, you know, surprises and, like, I get a little bit distracted. The butterfly lands on the rock flower, like, then stays.

It just stays there. Oh, so you're one of those girls. Yeah. It would take you off your focus. A little bit. Yeah. For sure. So maybe that's why you don't have it yet.

Yeah. I think this season is really about the growth that I need to do to focus and focusing on my tasks because maybe that's one of the reasons why I think. took a little bit longer because I've been in really long relationships, like six-year relationship, three-year relationship, four-year relationship, always. So it might be best for now. When was the last time you've had a stretch of being single? Before Hazel.

Wow. And I think that was maybe like two years, three years in between. But yeah, before Hazel. So you may need this time. Yeah. I mean, it's already been two and a half years that I'm single now. Yeah, but you're doing work on yourself. I'm doing pretty good.

You being a mom, your daughter's gorgeous. Thank you. How's co-parenting going? Like, a dream? It's so easy, which is, I'm like, it's not other people's experience, so I'm so thankful to have a co-parent that really understands and we're not spiteful picking up the slack. At first, it was a bit difficult because, you know, there was still that attachment thing. and still feelings. But as we grew, we made a commitment that, like,

no matter what, Hazel will not see any negativity. We're not going to put our business online. We're not going to argue. There's going to be a tone in which we talk to each other with respect. We're going to be compromising. So if he needs something on his schedule that I have to compensate for, we do that and vice versa, like, it's been really great. Wow.

I'm really lucky. Really lucky. Yeah. And do you split it up? We had, we just had Emma Green on the pond, right? Oh, she's great. Yeah, she's super dope, super smart. But interesting thing about her and her marriage, because she's married to her business,

like her business partner. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, he's a brilliant businessman too. And we were talking about the roles of mother and father. There's like things that people expect, just it's not a 50-50 thing. No. You know what? And it's not expected to be a 50-50 thing, which is why she's like raising eyebrows and

people the wrong way because she's like, no, it's a 50-50 thing. Like, she requires that of her husband. Got it. And he does it. Like, he wants to do that. They have that relationship where it's like he does actually half of the parenting. Okay. And she does half of the parenting.

Okay. Did you imagine that? I mean, if that works for them. If that works for them, that's great. I feel like with scheduling and with, you know, I don't know how I would technically divide it. Yes. Evenly.

Well, they're in the same house and probably makes it easier. Got it. Co-parenting is different, I guess, in different houses. Yeah. But just the idea of that, what's expected really of women and mothers. And I think we kind of also, we want it that way, right? You mean to have more responsibility? It's just the mother is like, yeah, there's a certain thing that moms, they're like, usually.

God, I don't want to be disrespectful to all the amazing fathers out there. I'm just saying a lot of things fall on us. Yeah. Just by nature. Yeah, by nature. Yeah. It comes to parenting. I feel like I'm like the way that we're co-parenting, I'm in the new school wave because I don't feel like, I mean, he does her hair when she's at his house.

It's like you would think, like there are certain things that he has to do 100% while she's there and I do 100% while she's with me. So in a way we're both 100 I guess This depending on whose house she's at But I'm kind of wondering what she'll feel As she grows up Because right now it feels like she's like Oh I have two of everything

I have two houses She's kind of end that phase And I wonder when she's gonna be like I think you guys are supposed to be in one place Like more observatory Maybe she won't Maybe maybe And I hope it's just like

It's normal for for her, it just becomes part of her life and that she doesn't feel like she doesn't have any one place to ground. It's almost like she's always with a go bag, you know? Like I'm, I'm trying to think about that as well. Yeah. So I don't know. None of us could get it 100% right. And then you think you get it right. And then you think grows up and it's like, you know what really bothered me when I was like, you know, I got to go to therapy. You know what I said? Like, my mother was amazing. I still had to go to therapy. Yeah.

My mother was, my mother is like the most morally grounded, human, loving human being. And I still had to go to therapy. So it's like, we just do our best. Yeah, we just do our best. It's almost like, it's, it's a relative. Like, if, if in this house, losing, losing a dollar is, detrimental. In this house, losing $5 is detrimental, but the feeling is the same. Like, the amount of trauma or whatever it was maybe wasn't the same intensity, but you felt the same.

And maybe that's a point of all of us to just, you get gifted the parents that you need in order to, you know, transport you to the life you want to have. So, or gives you the parents that, or gives you the children that you know. need to fix certain laws or give you patience if that's what you needed or give you more understanding, give you more communication skills. Like you're partnered up parent and child with exactly what it is you need in order to fix or be better for the school of life, basically. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guide, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygle and friends, me and hilarious guests from Jim Gaffigan to Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman,

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We're two men who were completely clueless to reality TV, who now have covered Dancing with the Stars, traitors, and we're gearing up for the season finale of Survivor. So yeah, now we're experts. I know we annoyed a lot of our listeners by our severe lack of survivor knowledge. That is the point of the show. I'm just going to remind you. I have watched some Survivor.

I obviously haven't watched enough. Did people not like it? Like what was just because we? Yeah. We'll be recapping the big conclusion in the 50th season from the final attempts at gameplay to the desperate pleas of finalists to a bunch of ha, ooh, ha, ha, ooh.

Again, we are experts. So make sure to tune in a PodMeets Twirled for all our Survivor 50 takes. Listen to PodMeets Twirled on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Pretty good. What have you learned from your daughter? Oh, patience.

For sure. Patience, because she's so funny and she's great, but she has a mouth on her. She'd be talking crazy sometimes. So I have to. Breathe, breathwork. That breath work just starts to turn it in for you. Yes. Yes.

I'm really excited for you. This tour feels like it's going to be a really big deal, right? I'm screaming about it. I'm screaming about it. I literally just went to go see. the show in Vegas. Was it last weekend? I think it was his past weekend.

Bruno was in Vegas? Yeah, his opening night was on Friday, so I went to the second show. And so I got to see DJ Peewee, Leon Thomas, and then Bruno. Also just getting a scope of what it's going to look like when I go. So it was fun, but also market research. And I was like, oh, shit, this is crazy.

Does that excite you or scare you or motivate? It definitely makes, it's like I am the fire horse. there's like a whip that makes me go faster. It's like I want to make sure that I'm fully prepared. And just, you know, I've prepared technically my whole life for these moments, but especially now just keeping in mind the environment that I'm going to be in and the gift that it is to be able to be on that stage and the gratitude, go operate on the stage with that gratitude,

but also just don't take it for granted or just take advantage of the opportunity work really hard. Go kill it. Yeah, so maybe the claws need to come back out for just the rehearsals for a tour. How did that happen? Did you know Bruno or was it to teams or did he ask for you? I think, I want to say he asked. They didn't tell me how I was presented to him. But in 2020, I did this performance when I was, I was like four months pregnant. I had this like sparkly green jacket hiding my pregnancy belly and we couldn't perform out in the world because of quarantine. So I recorded a live performance of my song And I put it online saying I'd love to open up for Silksonic

That's what they were doing at the time Radio silence I think they maybe liked it or something But like no one was like yeah come To our Vegas residency or come on tour with us Or any of that Lo and behold five years later Is when I got the call

So were you like manifesting this moment? I believe so It seems to be that when I write something down and I think about it and I want it bad enough may not happen that day or that year, but eventually it just ends up coming. So you do this, a full performance with the idea that I want to open for Bruno and Silksonic. Yeah. And so that's a like manifestation number.

Like you're putting yourself like, if you build it, they will come. It's like, there's really something to that. Yeah, very Noah. You built an arc. Yeah. I mean, I just, I've always been inspired by Bruno. I was signed to Atlantic at one point and he was there. And I noticed how he had this song with B-O-B called Beautiful Girls and he was on the hook. And right after that, he went into his own career and was killing it. And I thought to myself, why don't you try that, Victoria? Just do a little bit of what he did and see if you could do the same thing. So for a while I was just writing hooks and sending them to Atlantic. They have a long roster of rappers. So I was like, maybe I could be, take that path, like have a rap song, you know, blow up and then be on the hook. Be on the hook. And then that would lead to my own singles, which is how I ended up being on songs with Nause and T.I. and writing with Meek Mill.

Like, I just became the hook rap, rap hook girl for a sec. So I appreciate that for sure. But just reminded me that, like, your ideas, it just may take some time for them to come to fruition, just like a seed. Like when you plant a seed, you don't see what's going on, but there's a lot's going on under the soil. You don't see it until it's above the soil. And so these moments,

like me going on to where Bruno feels like, oh, I'm out of the soil. Oh, you're out of the soil. Out of the soil on this one. Yeah. The seed was planted in 2020. Yeah. You really are a woo-woo girl. Maybe, right? I may even need to fully embrace this. You've meditated a Bruno Mars tour.

You know what I'm saying? You just changed your whole animal. You went from a jaguar to a butterfly in the past year. Yeah. You really might be a woo-woo girl. You know what? Low-key. I think you're manifesting also this next relationship that you're about to be in right now.

I hope so. I hope so. You're doing that right now. You're in the season of like planting those little seeds. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be fun to see when that blooms. That's interesting because I do like I feel like it's happening musically as well because my next single is called single.

And it basically just says, it's like a single, it's like another anthem. My single is, I'm like summoning. You are. It's going to come in a wave. I'm going to call you immediately. I can't wait. You have my number now, so I really want you to.

I really want to know. I really want updates on that. Yes. Speaking of singles, let's just looking at some of the lyrics of my single. Where did I do with that card? We had a card of your lyrics. So some of the lyrics on your let me, let me be your ride or die.

Let me love you back to life. Let me give you peace of mind. Ride or die is a triggering term for me. Is it? Is it? It comes up on the pot. We had DMX's wife to Shira on. Okay.

And we were talking about ride or die. Yeah. Is ride or die, what does it mean to you, first of all? What does ride or die mean to you? Because, you know, depending on what we're working with, right or die could be toxic and traumatizing. That's true. But I guess it depends on who you're singing it to, which you should have the choice in. Yeah, of course.

So I don't think you should be dying for real. Like, no, we don't want to die. This is poetry, guys. Yeah, please, please. Oh, we go out there dying. But just for me, it means if you tell me your flaws or you're exposing something, some things that you feel like you're insecure about and your vulnerabilities. And I'll still ride for you and I can handle those things is what I'm saying.

I don't mean if you're wrong, we're wrong together and we're all on the sword together. Like we're not riding into the sunset on that vibe. It's more so just like, I got you. I got you like there. You're going to like me, go through so many phases of yourself. I don't, I don't expect you to be the same person you were five years ago. And if you can't maintain one of the qualities that I'm going. I like. We can have that conversation, but it doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I understand

and I'm giving you the freedom in the space to make your changes. And I'm going to ride for you as long as it feels, you know, we're talking about still being respectful. We're talking still, I'm not saying like, go ahead and cheat and I'm still be here. Like not any of those toxic trades, but more so just making sure that people know that because they're imperfect. doesn't mean that they don't deserve love love yeah oh you're such a little poet i'm a lover girl look it just gives very poet vibes right now you got your poet hat on you're doing your woo-woo well here doing your breath work i think you're going to talk to ergo vadoo honestly i'm like so what what's next what do we do yeah what do i go from here how do i do it hey guys you ever sign up for a phone

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all right we have a couple of segments we got to do in real life should we do our bowl or our voice note first so we have a segment and it is our voice note segment okay I'm a listener a fan of the podcast either a comment for you okay let's have it uh oh oh My name is David. I'm from New Jersey. One of my favorite songs of yours is experience with you and Khalid and S.G. Lewis. Would you ever do an album based on that type of music, you know, like Calvin Harris, Disclosure, Z, something along with the EDM lines? I love how you're able to experiment with all these different genres and you're still very much you and you're authentic and you just make so good music. Like I just want to dance and, you know, like, would you ever tap into that? and I can't wait to see you open for Bruno Mars.

I'm going international. Like I bought my ticket already. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. Aw, so sweet. He said his name was Daniel, right? David. David.

David. Hey, David. He said uptembows. Would you ever do a project of Uptop? And the answer is yes. I wanted to do a project with Ketranada, actually. Oh, wow. D. Mile and Ketranada.

And I don't think that's out of the table. I would love to do that. I think that music is so fun to me. And then you can perform it. Perform it, yeah. Like, I definitely also see the crowds in like a Coachella space and like those types of vibes and energy would feel really good on that type of stage. So, yes, I would love to do a project like that. And also with a DJ like Calvin Harris or anybody, you know, up and coming, like absolutely.

For sure. Okay. real life questions. Ready? Yeah. In real life, what are you most proud of about yourself? I really think for the past year, I think my transformation. But like I've grown up, like in so many ways. And it's been really tough.

And a lot of it I did without the validation or praise from other people because it was behind closed doors. So that makes things a little bit tougher when you don't have that, like dopamine. or encouragement right away. It's delayed gratification, which we are so trained to have immediately. Like, come like my photo today. See me today.

Yeah. So to have that delay really taught me a lot about myself and the fact that I really want what I want and I will go through those dark moments alone or with my team to get there. What was the darkness, though? Like, what was the, what was, I mean, that you want to share? I don't know if it's something you want to share.

Yeah, I think last year, last year, last year, I had a really tough transition in my team with management and with my agent and then I also felt unprepared for the next chapter. I felt lots of pressure musically because I didn't feel like I had the right body of work to give to people, but they wanted it now. The label was like, there's like a lull in time and you're losing

momentum, you're getting older. Like all of these really negative thoughts that don't belong to me were coming. and I just felt really down. And after the Grammy win, the way that people celebrate you as an underdog and the moment you win switch is really alarming. It's like, oh, so you don't want me to be here. You don't want me to be successful

because it's only great until you actually get it to some people. And I'm sure I'm seeing it's not the same person tweeting that back to back, But like the energy that came towards me was like, so why did she get the Grammy? Like she's not even a new artist. And like, so she doesn't have any hit songs. Like all of these little thoughts that were coming to me from people. You were letting inside. I was letting them in.

And I was carrying it. And even the way that I was talking to myself or the pressure I was putting on myself, you could probably see it in my eyes that I was like feeling defeated. I hate that for you. It was like that. So I think just even making a rash decision, I don't even know the word rash. just right because I don't know what that means honestly. But making the random decision to go to culinary school and do something that doesn't pay me

or something that doesn't identify. But it takes you out of that. That rat race that you're in, that imaginary pressure that you're applying to yourself. And you realize, oh, you're still a great human. Even if you didn't do not one more so. You could still do so many other things. Like you've climbed the top of that mountain and you got to the place you wanted to be. Now you can start at the bottom of a whole other mountain that has.

has nothing to do with any of that and climb to the top of that. And you can do that a million times over and it doesn't all have to be contrived and connected. And like you only stand on this. You're only a legend if you keep going on this mountain. You know what I mean? So that really helped me heal. And the shift was necessary. So I think that's what led me to this.

That also is like your whole life you wanted to do this. Yeah. As you're a kid. You're preparing for it. You get this moment. It happens. It doesn't happen fast. We're working a long time, but you have this explosion. Yeah.

Explosion of a year. And then that's so sad that the other side of that was, I don't know, just disappointment in a way, right? Yeah. Yeah. It was just a really crazy juxtaposition of this high that you feel like, oh, my God, it finally happened. But then also paired with the expectations of how to keep it, how to make it. how to maintain it, why you deserved it, like all of that comes. Would you try your best to like ignore?

But sometimes you can't. But also that now that makes sense why you needed to be spiritually grounded. Yeah, for sure. So that you could process all of that. All of that. Yeah. Because it might have hit you differently had you done this work before that moment. You might have been able to withstand some of that noise a little better.

I think so. Yeah. I didn't have any practice. Like, there was no practice. I wasn't, the only practice I knew is studio and work and grinds and just don't sleep. Yeah. That was my practice. And so now paired with the other modalities, I feel like I could, the next round, I think I got it.

You about to see. You got this. Is that the goal, like, getting back on that, on the mountain top? Oh, 100%. 100%. But I think it's paired with trying to. to do that while climbing other mountains as well so that my value is not predicated on just one set of goals.

You know, I'm still a great friend. I'm still a great mom. I'm still a great chef. I'm still a great Tai Chi student. I'm still great in the gym. All of these things will add up to be a well-rounded human. You're setting off sirens. Oh, New York.

Only in New York. You're setting off the sirens. I love that for you. Thank you. Yeah, good for you. That means the mountain's about to be bigger. What is on your bucket list that you have to check that you haven't done yet? In real life, what is something that you would like to accomplish?

Honestly, I want to go to Bali. Sounds like really an accomplishment, but I'm trying to get over there. It feels so peaceful. Well, you're so woo-woo. It might be. I need to be over there. You need to go there. Yes.

In real life, what is something you are no longer available, for? Ooh. Um, I definitely am no longer available for negative news. I think sometimes we share

tea or like just random headlines. We'll just repeat it and say it to our friends. But why do we do that? Like what response are you trying to get out of the other person? Like, What do you need to relate to?

And so I'm trying to do less of allowing that frequency in my space. Yeah, what energy you're allowing in your space? Yeah, because what's the purpose? Like, we want to talk about positive things. We want to be so far away from anything negative that it doesn't even pass our mind because we're just not tuned into that station. Oh, I don't even know anything about that because I'm so here with it. Yeah.

So a lot less of just like the trauma announcements. Like, this was going on, the fear mongering and all that stuff. Good vibes only. Yeah. You all protected and moved up. You need to protect that energy. That's right. Hey, guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University.

Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want? And I can really make a difference. Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge. with the knowledge, the skills, and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it.

Head to waldenu.edu and take that first step. Walden University set a course for change, certified to operate by Shiv. All right, guys, it is time for the Walden University bowl of IRL questions. Do you? What is it saying? If God were to text you right now, what would you say? What would it say? I love, this is my favorite question in the bowl.

Usually if people don't get it, I ask it anyway. I'm so happy you got it. If God were to text you right now, what would it say? I think it would say I've been here all along and I'm still here and I'll always be here. if ever you feel confused, listen closer to me. If ever you feel misguided, follow my light. Make sure you say my name, though, probably. I think you would say that.

Or she. I think they would say that. She's such a writer. You're so good with words. That was beautiful. Thank you. I just feel like that question is so, I don't know, it just goes right to your soul. Oh, literally.

When I read it, I was like, oh, don't cry, don't cry. Yeah, I felt that. When people answer it, I feel the genuineness of that. Yeah, it's like you just read the name God and you're like, yeah. Because I think, I mean, just where we are, he doesn't or she doesn't, they don't get mentioned as much as they should. and there's lots of negative energies that try to take you away from that.

So just hear it and be able to have the platform to talk about it. It's like, thank you. That's really nice. Victoria Monet is a long. Yeah. What's up, you guys? This is Victoria Monet in real life.

Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comments, and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angel Martinez's IRO podcast. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel

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when life makes other plans. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us like, You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program.

Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Your 20s can be so exciting, but they can also be really overwhelming, confusing, and honestly, just kind of lonely. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and the psychology of your 20s is breaking down the behind the biggest roadblocks we face. I was six years into my career, the 80-hour weeks, and just the first one in, the last one out, and I ended up burning out. There was a large chunk of my 20s that I, like, was just so wanting to, like, be out of that phase out of my skin. And I just, like, really regret not living in the present more.

You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You just need to understand yourself a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast Guaranteed human