Joel Osteen Podcast - Conversation with Joel & Victoria: Peaceful on Purpose Part 1

Episode Date: May 22, 2021

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Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry. If you enjoyed today's message, why don't you be a blessing and share it with a friend? We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in your life. Welcome to this live virtual event hosted by Books A Million. I'm here with Joel and Victoria Osteen

and we're gonna have a conversation today about first and foremost, Joel's new book, Peaceful on Purpose that released today. We're also going to have a conversation as well about family, life, relationships, ministry, and so much more. Well, Joel, new book released today. Thoughts. How you feeling about it? Very excited. Always excited to put out a new book. And thank you guys for being with us today. Thanks for buying my books. And we just speak blessings over you. We'll take the next hour if you have some time to just like Nick said, talk about life and family and maybe answer some questions. I was telling the guys early, y'all hear me speak all the time.

I'd rather maybe talk about some, you know, personal things, maybe a little bit different than a normal teaching. But I just believe, you know, Nick, the book, you know, there's a lot in life that can weigh us down these days. I mean, I don't have to tell you, but with the pandemic and just life in general, there can be stress and worry and always something going on. I believe if you're going to stay peaceful, you have to do it on purpose. In other words, you have to make a decision.

And my thought, I use the analysis. in the book, like in your car you have a spare tire. You're not planning on having a flat, but just in case something happens, you hit a pothole or something doesn't go right. You have that spare tire. You've made provision in case something happens. I think it's the same way with peace.

We get up in the morning, let's plan to have a good day, plan on great things happening. But I think at the same time, we should make the decision. No matter what comes my way today, I'm going to stay in peace. Because, you know, we may go out, it's expecting to have a good day. and you know what, somebody's rude to us, or our plans don't work out, we go through some delays.

Well, if you're not prepared, if you hadn't made that provision, it's easy to get stress and, oh, man, I can't believe this didn't work out. But, you know, when you've already made that decision, and I believe, Nick, the reason we can make that decision is because we know God's in control. The scripture says our steps are ordered by the Lord, so I like to remind myself, in the good times and in the tough times, God's still ordered my steps.

He's still in control. nothing that happens to us is a surprise to God. So I just believe that life is too short to live it upset and worried. Once we live this day, May 18th, 2021, we can never get it back. And that doesn't mean we don't have difficulties. I know we all do, but I believe that's what faith is all about. Hey, I should be worried, upset, you know, frustrated. But you know what, I'm at peace.

God, I know you're on the throne. When you do that, you can go be good to somebody. You can have a song of praise instead of complaining. You can have a smile instead of being depressed. So I hope you'll make the decision, you know, that you're going to choose to stay in peace, that you're going to know that God's in control, that you're going to do it on purpose.

That's awesome. As you guys know, you can submit questions throughout this conversation, personal questions, leadership, ministry questions, any questions you would like. I know we already have questions coming in, a lot of questions that we've gathered. Joel and Victoria, there's a question here about just a person who's young who's facing anxiety and facing fear with everything going on, going through the

pandemic. Any advice specifically that you would give to a young person who's maybe overwhelmed with anxiety right now trying to discover peace? I know you mentioned it broadly, but any specific tips as it relates to someone who's young? You know, it's interesting because this is such a pandemic with the young people. I was just praying with one young person today and they were very pressured into achieving and they felt like they really, I think deep down, they didn't feel prepared for their opportunity. And so you could see the anxiety of trying to just, you know, measure up to these demands in their life. And I think that for a young person, it can be overwhelming, especially with social media, especially with the expectation put on them. So what

I just said was, you know what, let's just pray. Let's pray because really, really, really, that is our best weapon is prayer. And it was interesting because by the end of the prayer, I could see this just relief come on on this young girl. And she was just like, okay, you know, had just a better perspective. And my prayer was simply that, you know, she could rest in what God had given her and that she does have gifts and talents and that God knows how she is made. And, you know, he will work with her personality, but he's going to help. her rest in who she is and and just you know some simple prayer like that and it was just amazing the demeanor on her face she just felt so much i could just feel her relaxing and just being able to

take it all in so you know these young people they need support they need our support they they look at what's going on and the pressures the social media gives is just really really ridiculous you know the pressure you can put on yourself in comparison and trying to measure up to all these things that are not really, they're not real. You know, I've noticed about social media, most things are filtered, you know, and I'm like, you can see at the top the filter usually they use if they're, you know, on it. And I'm just like everything is filtered. Yeah. Everything has its best face forward. And you know, the thing about it is, is you don't need any filters with God. God, God doesn't need to put on a filter, a facade, a fake face. He wants you just the way you are. He wants you to come to him

with your problems, with your disappointments. He wants you to find hope in him and trust in him. But that's what I love about God. When you have a relationship with him, you can talk to him about the things that are bothering you. But there's one key to that, and that is you have to believe that he's listening. You have to believe that he cares. And you have to believe that he wants to help you. And if you can put him to that he's listening, and if you can put him to believe that he's listening, And if you can put that belief system in place and then you can have a conversation with God, I believe that it will help in these trying times of pressure and anxiety that young people are facing, but also all of us are facing.

You know, I think Nick, too, and adding to what Victoria is saying for a young person or a person that's anyone, it's this principle that what belongs to you is going to come to you. You know, sometimes I think, you know, whether we're young or old, you think, oh, man, you know what, I missed my chance or somebody married the guy I wanted to marry. Somebody got the promotion that I wanted, but somebody bought that house that I thought should have been mine. But you have to come back to this. You keep honoring God with your life and what belongs to you won't go to anybody else. At the right time, God will bring it into your life. So I just encourage you to, you know, not have to live frustrated and wondering when it's going to happen. Just stay in that

place of peace knowing that God's going to bring the right people, the right opportunities. He's going to caused solutions to problems. May not happen on our timetable, but, you know, I go back to that key. You know, Nick, from the time I was a little boy, I was taught to honor God with my life. And I'm not perfect. It doesn't mean you don't make mistakes, but you have that desire to please God. You keep in first place. And I saw God brought this building to us.

We tried to get other property to build something on. But you know what? This building was, you know, was destined to be ours. There are things that God is already destined to be ours. I call them those marked moments. So, you know, as a young person, you know, what am I going to do with my future? I got to keep up over here. I got to do this. Well, you know what? The right doors are going to open. And I would encourage you to be your best right where you are while you're waiting maybe for God to change something. Maybe you're waiting for a bigger position. You're waiting for a scholarship to come through. Be your best right where you are. You know, I think that's a key. If you'll prove to God that you'll be faithful where you are, then I believe God can open up new doors. I think the mistake we make sometimes is, you know what? this is not where I want to be, so I'm going to slack off, or I'm going to be depressed, or I'm not going to be my best.

But you know what, you've got to say, God, this is where you have me right now. May not be where I want to be, but I won't be my best. I won't be good to somebody. I think about a story, Nick, who was that? I don't know, well, you would know the name anyway, but somebody told me they got laid off. And it was a, he had a good position and it was not fair,

but they didn't sit around at home. They came up to the church and volunteered, like for month and month. Now they go on a job, interviews and do everything they could, but instead of sitting at home being depressed, they'd come up and volunteer and answer the phone for us, pray for people, and just do random things. And I thought that was a great seed that they were sowing. Eventually a great door opened up, something better than he ever imagined. But I went back to think, I wonder if that would have happened if he had not,

if it had just been depressed and bitter where he was. I think he made the choice. You know what, I'm going to shine right where I am. And I think about, it says, our steps are ordered by the That tells me where we are, we're at the right place. It may be a difficult time, but if you know that God's ordered your steps, that means He's going to bring good out of it. It's a step on the way to your destiny. I use Joseph a lot in the scriptures, but he went through one bad break after another, but when you step back, it all was leading him to where God was taking him,

but yet they were difficult times. So, you know, if you're in a difficult time, a door's not opening, or, you know, maybe just don't feel like you got more in you, but you feel kind of stuck. of stuck, keep being your best where you are. You've got some marked moments where God's going to open some doors because you've stayed faithful. You've kept honoring him. He's going to bring the right to you, right things to you as well. That's so good because sometimes we can get so caught up in our performance, you know, that we have to perform. We have to perform perfectly and that perfection

when we forget to do our best like Joel saying and rely on God to do what we can't do. And I think that takes the pressure off. It's just like Joel said, Be your best. And don't feel like you have to perform to make things happen. But God's got the plan that's unfolding. So that's so good. You know, that already makes me feel relaxed. Again, we're talking about Joel's new book,

Peaceful on Purpose. Another question that has come in, and it kind of relates to, you know, the young generation. But what are some things that you guys do as parents to spiritually invest into your family? A lot of questions from parents, moms asking, what can we do to help guide our kids in the right direction? Any practical things or things that you guys do?

Well, one thing, in Victoria, you speak to this, but one thing is we, Nick, we try to model the way we want our children to live. And again, we're not perfect, but I think, you know, one of the things you can do is be a good example, be loving, be kind, be respectful. I think that's a big part of it. I guess just when I think about growing up, my parents never made us come to church. but we always wanted to come to church because that's where our friends were

and that's where we had fun. We learned about God, but we had fun as well. So I saw my parents, they were the same on the pulpit in front of people as they were at home. And I saw my parents, you know, in the morning, reading their Bible and taking time for God, treating people right, you know, both of them, but I remember my dad, it didn't matter who you were,

he loved everybody, he was for everybody. Well, that made a big impression on me to, you know, how I lived my life. So I think a lot of my life, A lot of it is by example, and, you know, I think that's a big part of it. Of course, you know, you speak faith into your children as well, but leading by example is one thing. Yeah, you know, that old saying more is caught than taught. You know, they're like video recorders on legs.

So they're taking everything in. And they're so smart. They know when you're acting one way at home preaching something else to them. But I think one of the things that I feel like that I was able to accomplish with my children was early, early on, I communicated with them. And it started even as simple as reading books together. And just when they were little, you know, reading books like at nighttime or when, you know, during the day when there was some time. And it just like an open dialogue because it's not just about reading a book, but it's about talking about the book. Talking about the animals in the book.

And so it's like you keep this dialogue going with your children. And I think that when they're older and then you have to say some things that are like guidance, parental things, they're not like, where did you come from? You know, you haven't talked to me up to this point. Now you're telling you what to do, you know. I think that's super important because when they're 16 going out on their first date, that's not when you start telling them all their, what they should be doing. you've already planted in them a good foundation. And so even to this day, I have a 22-year-old and a 26-year-old, and I can talk to them.

I'm learning that I can't talk to them the same way I did when they were 10. I talked to them as an adult now. I phrase my questions differently. So I'm very aware of how I talk to them because I want to keep those lines of communication open. So I try to take their cues. and learn. I just really try to learn. I think I try to learn still with Joel how to talk to him. I know when he feels a lot of pressure. I know when he doesn't want to talk. I'll never forget when he

first started ministry and his father passed. And before that, it was like a different world. We could just do and go and we had a lot of responsibility, but it wasn't the same. And I'll never forget he, it was one Thursday afternoon and he was at home and he was having lunch and he was studying and so I was like, oh, he's having lunch. I'm going to go have lunch with him. So I got some lunch and I sat down with him and I'm trying to talk to him and he's not saying anything. And I keep trying to talk to him and he's just nodding. And I'm like, wow, he's so rude. You know, like, because he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I realized, you know, that was like starting this new pattern in our life.

I realized he took on a responsibility that was taking a ton of his time and a ton of his energy. Then I started studying his patterns and how Thursday was a very important day for him. He would start writing his message on Thursday. He wanted to stay focused. So I really adapted to that pattern. And I studied him. That's basically what I did. And I adapted.

And I really think that that helped our relationship. I think it helped our transition a lot. And I think that's just what we have to do. If we want to have good relationships with each other, we have to be mindful of the other person. And not just what we want to say or what we want them to say to us, but really mindful. And I think when you do that, you can open lines of communication to your husband, your boss, your friends, your children, you know, just to be aware, self-aware of how you're saying things and how you're doing things. Because really, you can have all the money in the world. you can have all the opportunity in the world.

But if you don't have good relationships, you really have nothing because that's the richness of life. So it's really worth, it's worth developing your communication skills, I think. Yeah. Another thing we started doing Victoria got me to do it, it's praying for our children at different times of day. And so on our phone, we set an alarm at 10 and at 5, 10 a.m. and at 5 p.m. 10 a.m. to pray for Jonathan, 5 p.m. to pray for Alexander.

You know, the alarm goes off and we may take 10 seconds, but you know what, I know wherever Victoria is in this world that she's going to take a minute and we're going to pray together. We're in agreement. And the scripture talks about when, you know, when you're in agreement, it's you know, one can chase a thousand, two can put 10,000 to fly. I like to say when you're in agreement, you're 10 times more powerful. So I think it's just little things like that too. Now, granted, our children are a little older, but, you know, I think you never stop praying for. What's so funny is sometimes I won't always have my phone in my house.

hand. And so now Alexandra, who just graduated from college and she lives with us, she's like, there's your phone, mom. It's five o'clock. That's what you're supposed to, you're supposed to be praying for me. So she knows, and I would think that's a good feeling. I mean, she knows that her mom and dad are praying for her. Her, my son knows that we pray for them. In fact, when we're talking and discussing, I'll just say, hey, let's just take a second to pray, you know, and my children will pray. They've always prayed. I remember. that sometimes I could feel my son kind of lean into that prayer, you know. So it becomes just something that you do.

It's what they're accustomed to. And then when they get older, I believe that they're going to pray with their children and with their spouses and pray for themselves in these difficult times because Lord knows we need him. We need to pray. That's fantastic. There's a chapter in here about not trying to control everything. And there's even been a lot of questions.

that have come in from people about just trying really hard not to control, letting go of things that have happened in the past or letting go of frustrations that they're working through. Unpack that a little bit for people who are watching, the power of that. Yeah, I think so, Nick, it's an important principle to stay in peace.

I think a lot of times we're frustrated because we're trying to control things that we can't control. I mean, we can't make other people do what's right. You can't make the traffic be right or make the medical rule. report turn around. We can do what we can, but where it gets frustrating is, you know what, it's not changing like we want or somebody's not changing as fast as we'd like, and there's

where we get frustrated. Well, you have to take your hands off of it. Control what you can, your attitude, what you think, how you treat people, and then those other things, you have to release control. That's what faith is all about. God, I'm praying, I'm believing, but this boss isn't changing or my child isn't changing or the medical report. But you know what? I can't control that but Lord I know you're on the throne I know you're in control I think a lot of our frustrations would go away if we'd we'd turn those things over to God not try to control things that we can't control because Nick if we don't learn this you can go 20 or 30 years letting somebody at work get on your nerves you know you can't make them do what's right you know you can't you know or letting

the traffic or just just certain situation so I just the older I get the more I realize life is too short to live negative, discouraged, worried. And if we will turn these things over, I call it releasing control. Do what you can. You know, I'm not saying the scripture says cast your cares on the Lord. It doesn't say cast your responsibilities. Do what you can, but there are certain things we have no control over. You've got to let that go where they're going to, it's going to steal your joy for the next many, many years. See, sometimes, Nick, we're trying to change people, but only God can. And I think what we have to do is recognizing, I don't want to say this in a negative way,

but that person may not change, but you know what, I can change my approach. I don't have to let them steal my joy anymore. I don't have to give away my power. Somebody's, you know, somebody's, you know, I just say getting on my nerves at work. You know, when you let them, you know, take your joy, you're giving them your power.

So I like to, you know, things that I can't change or may be tempting to frustrate me, I like to say, okay, God, how can I change? change. I'm not going to let that frustrate me anymore. And really, sometimes God allows these things. I don't think he'll, you know, he doesn't send all the bad things, but he'll allow things so that we can grow. And as you pass that test and all of a sudden the same thing that used to bother you, it doesn't bother you anymore, where you're coming up higher. You're getting ready to go to a new level. God's getting you prepared so you can handle more influence and more favor. So I like to see

those things as tests that we have to pass. You know, if something's not changing, I can can't control it. Even when we tried to buy that property to build a new facility on twice, we tried to buy it, sold out from under us, there wasn't any more property. You know, I finally came to the place that God, if you want us to have a new auditorium, I know you'll work it out, but these doors have closed. These people didn't do us right. They sold property out from under us, but I did what I can, but I'm on a, I'm going to release control and just thank you that you have the right place. So I try to, I try to teach what I've learned, but the point is, is I could have been frustrated and bitter and discouraged because, you know, we couldn't buy that property

that I wanted to build a new auditorium, never dreaming that God had this. So you pass some test and who knows what God will bring you into. So, you know, release control of the things that you have no control over. Even in a medical situation, I believe in, you know, getting well. That's God's destiny for your life. But you do what you can. And then you say, okay, God, I'm going to do all my part. Now I'm just going to rest in you.

In other words, Nick, I don't think we're supposed to live in a fight mode all the time. Otherwise, you know, well, we're upset because this person at work and we're believing for our health to turn. Then it's always this stress on the inside. I like to say that when you rest, God goes to work. When you work, then God rest. So you take your hands off and do what you can, but what you can't control, God, you're in control. I'm going to enjoy this day. It won't be good to others.

And as you do that, I believe, you know, that's one of the steps to stay peaceful on. purpose because, you know, again, we want you to enjoy your life. We want you to not just endure it, but just to have a peace even in the midst of the storms. You know, talking about control, I was thinking about how sometimes we want someone to make us happy. Yeah. You know, and so with this person's not making me happy, I'm frustrated, I wish. And talk a little bit about that because we know that, you know, people can't make you happy. You've got to depend on God to make you happy. And so a lot of times that's where we find a lot of frustration and we lose our peace, we lose our joy because someone's not performing the way we think they should. And so, you know,

I know that even in my marriage, I realize that Joel can't keep me happy. I have to have a joy on the inside of me. I have to have, I'm a responsible to keep myself happy. I'm responsible to keep myself motivated. I'm responsible to, you know, keep moving forward because, you know, especially in a marriage relationships or even children, sometimes people want their children to keep them happy, fulfill them. But you just, you can't depend on people to do that. You've got to find that in God. You've got to find that in His Word. You've got to tap into your gifts and your talent, stir up that joy because the Bible talks about that you've been, you know, God is giving you joy on the inside. But sometimes we let it get so buried.

that we can't find it. And that joy is our strength. It's our inspiration. It's our vision. So I think that sometimes I've seen people and I've seen it happen. I could feel it happened to myself. You know, I was like, Joel, well, you know, I want to do this or I want to do that.

Or you should be telling me this. Or, you know, nobody can keep up with that all the time. So I think that's another thing that you talk about in this book. You know, you just can't depend on other people to keep you happy. Well, you said it's so good. I guess it ain't even better than that. It's really this. We are responsible for our own happiness. And I think what she said, if you're relying on somebody else, you're going to be frustrated. You know, take the pressure off that other person because that's very, you know, I was going to say very unfair. That's very difficult. Nobody can keep you happy. You come back and you get the happiness on the inside, the joy, get at peace with yourself, and release that other person. Take the pressure off of them. And, you know, you're going to live your life more free and you're going to have better relationships. Awesome. Again, we are talking about Joel's new book, Peaceful on Purpose. Well, a lot of questions are coming in about your personal life.

Maybe there's some things about each other that the public doesn't know. Maybe some personal quirks, personal habits, funny stories. Does anything come to mind, Victoria? Maybe one thing that maybe everyone may not know about Joel that... Yeah. Well, I always like to say this, because when you look at Joel, He looks so fit. He looks like, you know, he's so nice and trim. He is fit. He's right. You're absolutely right.

He's very fit. He looks fit, but not a filter. But you wouldn't believe this about him. He eats a sprinkles cupcake almost every single night before he goes to bed, a chocolate cupcake. Sprinkles. Sprinkles dark chocolate cupcake. But he's done it.

We've been married 34 years, and he's always eaten a dessert. before he goes to bed. It's almost like it just kind of tells him it's bedtime. I don't know. You'll have to talk about that. It tastes good too. But I used to make a, used to, I used to make a chocolate cake every week because he would just like to eat on that all through the week. But that's one thing that people don't know. He loves chocolate cake or chocolate cupcakes or something chocolate at night. But he is kind of picky about his chocolate. It's got to be just the right texture. It's got to be just the right amount. It's got just to write this.

Do you want to describe this? Do you want to talk about your confeduation with texture and everything? I don't have any good comments on this, y'all. I don't have any good comments. Also, Joel is extremely, which this may not be surprising, extremely focused

and very, very disciplined. And I think that's kind of why I even brought up that you can't get some, you know, put the pressure on someone to make you happy. Because early on in our marriage, he's always been very focused, very discipline, almost like works off lists. And so, you know, he's busy all the time. And so you learn,

you have to learn that, you know what, let him do his thing. Let him, that's where he functions the best. But that's one thing about him. He's very focused, very disciplined. He probably can get more done than most people. I will add that he's pretty competitive. Competitive, very competitive. We're roasting him. We're roasting him now. I have to tell this. So we play tennis often and we've played 50 games of tennis together. And I'm kind of learning to play tennis. He's actually got me pretty passionate about it. And when we've played, it gets competitive. And I asked him to sign a book for me recently. And he gave me the copy of the book. And when I opened the book, in the book, it was a sheet of paper.

And it said 30 to 20 with about six exclamation points. after. That's the score, so he's up 10 games on me. But he wanted to remind me as well as encouraged me at the same time that I was still 10 games behind him. That he had me be by 10. What's so unfair though is Nick's a great athlete playing football. I did all this stuff. So I found the sport where he's the worst death because otherwise he'd kill me. And quick to remind me that he is up 10 games. What about what about Victoria? Anything about her that maybe some people may not know. Oh, well, they don't. They probably well a lot of things what do I start

Victoria loves to laugh and I think that's one it's a great characteristic is she's she laughs I hear laughter going through the house all the time and I think it's important that the atmosphere we sit in our homes and she's she's a great example of setting an atmosphere of joy and just you know because there's a lot of stress in the world today you guys you deal with it too you you've got things going on and I think sometimes Nick we bring the pressures from work and from outside

we bring them into the home and for long, we're all tense and we're uptight in there and it's stressing the relationships, but I think it's important, you gotta check that stuff at the door. You gotta keep your home, you know, set the atmosphere in your home of peace and joy and learn to laugh.

I mean, like she said, we've been married 34 years, we still laugh all the time. You know, and laughter's healthy. And you know, you may not be jumping up and down every day, but there should be a sense of joy and, you know, that laughter. But anyway, I'll tell you something funny that happened with Victoria. So Victoria is out in the backyard the other day.

Well, I should sit up like this. So I'm in the kitchen. I go in there in the morning to make my protein drink, and I hear some noise out in the backyard. I hear some music. I think the neighbors are having a party, and it's like eight in the morning. I think, what in the world is going on?

It's so loud. I open the door. Victoria's in the backyard, and she's got her, what are those, earbuds in? Earpods, yeah. She got her earpods in, and she's singing, Waymaker, Miracle Work. miracle work or a problem scheme.

And she's seeing like four times louder than she's supposed to because those are in. I just got there and said, do you realize you're screaming the hell neighbors? I was crazy. She's full of victory. I thought, okay. Thanks so much for listening to today's message. I hope you'll subscribe so you can receive the latest podcast to keep you encouraged and inspired all through the week. Help us to continue to share the message of hope with those all around the world.

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