Joel Osteen Podcast - Having A Kind, Gentle Spirit | Joel Osteen

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

You can measure a person’s spiritual maturity by how they treat other people. When you make an effort to treat others with kindness and gentleness, your relationships will improve and God will fill your life with His favor.Your best days are still ahead, and together we can make a difference in this world with the message of God's hope and love. To give visit JoelOsteen.com/GiveHope.Daily inspiration. Scriptural promises. Get ready for a new year of faith with the Hopes & Dreams 2024 Planner. Our special December offer will let you journal your thoughts, record your prayers, and hold on to the dream God has placed in your heart. Request your copy today! https://bit.ly/3T8xgqS Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of the Joel Osteen Podcast ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast, and thanks for supporting the ministry. We believe you're going to have an awesome 2024, healthy, productive, and favor-filled. God bless you today and enjoy the message. God bless you. We welcome you. It's always a joy to come into your homes each week, and thank you for letting us spend this next half hour or so with you. And we believe that you'll be blessed and encouraged.

I can tell you that God is on your side. He's got a good plan for your life. When you serve him, they'll take you places that you've never even dreamed of. And if you're ever in our area, come out and see us. We give you a personal invitation. We'd love to have you be a part of one of our services. Thanks for tuning in today. And I like to get started each week with something kind of funny.

And I heard about this elderly lady. She came in to the back of a country church one Sunday morning. And this friendly usher greeted her and said, good morning, ma'am. Where would you like to sit? She said, I want to sit on the very front row. He said, oh, no, ma'am. You don't want to do that. And he kind of whispered.

He said, this pastor is very boring. He'll put you to sleep. Let me seat you somewhere else. She looked appalled. She said, sir, do you know who I am? He said, no. She said, I am the pastor's mother. He put his head down and kind of grimaced.

And finally he looked up and he said, ma'am, do you know who I am? She said, no. He said, thank God. Hold up your Bibles and say it with me. Ready? This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have.

I can do. what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the word of God. I boldly confess, my mind is alert, my heart is receptive, I will never be the same. In Jesus' name, God bless you. I want to talk to you about being kind and courteous and treating people with respect. I believe how we treat people is one of the most important things to God. In fact, you can measure a person's spiritual maturity not by how many scriptures they can quote, not by how many times they come to church. And although that's good,

religious activity doesn't necessarily impress God. It's how we treat other people. In other words, am I being respectful to my wife? Am I kind to my children? Am I courteous to the man on the freeway? Am I friendly to the lady at the grocery store? Really, it boils down to this.

Do I have a gentle, caring spirit? And unfortunately, much of our society is not like this today. Too many people are rude. They're harsh and insensitive. They'll blow right by you and not give you the time of day. They'll demand things from you, bark orders at you instead of politely asking. I mean, where has common courtesy gone? Where has been understanding and going out of our way to show our love gone?

And the scripture says here in 1 Corinthians 13 verse 5 that love, that love is not rude. One translation says love has good manners. And I want to challenge you today to develop a greater gentleness, a greater kindness, a greater understanding. You may not agree with everybody. They may do some things that you don't like, but that doesn't give you the right to be rude. It doesn't give us the right to look down on people and treat them as if they were second

class. No, Jesus said, by this will all men know that you're my disciples? when you love one another. And there should be something different about us. We should be the kindest, most friendly, most considerate people around. That's one of the best witnesses we could ever have. And if this is going to happen, then we need to watch the way we say things. Be aware of your body language. I read where communication is 60% nonverbal. In other words, your body language, your facial expressions, the tone of your voice, all of these things are communicating even more than what we're saying. And that means we need to learn to keep a pleasant demeanor. We need to learn to smile more often.

And when you're under pressure, when you're under stress, you need to especially be on guard. Be sensitive. And do your best not to hurt other people's feelings. And too often we just blow in and we say something very matter of a fact. And we don't realize it, but it's not coming out like we want it to. is coming out much more harsh. And that could all be avoided if we'd just be a little more sensitive and a little more tactful in how we say things. I know the other day I came home

and I was very tired. I'd had a long day. Victoria asked me a question. And I did just what I'm talking about. I just blurted out the answer very matter of fact. I didn't say anything wrong and I wasn't trying to be rude but my whole demeanor, my body language,

the tone of my voice was basically saying, hey, don't bother me. Can't you see I'm tired? I want to be by myself. Now, quit looking at me like I'm a sinner. I made one mistake. How about I give you the microphone? We're going to see what you did wrong this week. But after about two hours, when I noticed that Victoria wasn't speaking to me, I realized maybe I'd been a little insensitive. And of course, I pled my case. I said, Victoria, I didn't say anything wrong. She said, yeah, but you should have heard how you said it. See, it was my voice tones. It was my demeanor. And that's what happens many times.

We may be saying the right thing, but how we say it is equally important. Be sensitive and learn to say things in a pleasant tone of voice. Well, you say, Joel, my personality is just a little bit stronger. I'm just real straightforward. I believe in telling it like it is. No, do not let your personality be an excuse to be rude. You can be truthful, but you can be tactful as well. You need to watch the way you say things.

You need to make sure you even need to say it. A lot of times we say things just to make us feel good. You may know you're right and you know the other person's wrong, but that doesn't mean that you have to correct then. You need to ask yourself, is this going to benefit anybody? Is this really necessary? Are you just doing it to prove your point to make yourself feel good? Now, when you go around putting people down, being harsh, being rude,

you will always walk away from there feeling worse about it. yourself. Right down in here, you'll have that nagging feeling just gnawing away at you. You'd been much better off to just leave it alone. And you may have a good reason to jump in there and set the record straight. But understand this. If you're right and you're rude, then you're wrong. It's all in how you present it. Proverbs 1117 says, you do yourself a favor when you're kind. Notice, you don't just do somebody else a favor when you're good to them. But when you show a little mercy. When you overlook a fault, when you have that gentle spirit, you're doing yourself a favor. I know one time years ago, I was at this restaurant, and when it came time to pay, all I had was a

$100 bill. There was a sign up front that said no bills over 20. Well, I didn't see it at the time. And so when I went up there to pay, you would have thought I'd just put the company out of business. The lady behind the cash register was so rude. She said, sir, can't you see? No bills over 20. I said, I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't see it. She called the manager over, and I'll never forget. He looked at that $100 bill, and he went, give it here, I'll take it. No, we need to be more understanding than that. When somebody puts you out, when somebody inconveniences you, you need to ask yourself, hey, have I ever put anybody out? Have I ever made a mistake? If you'll learn to show a little mercy, then you'll receive mercy. Even out here on the freeways,

It's amazing how impolite people can be. A couple of weeks ago, I saw two guys almost get into a fight because one man turned from the wrong lane. And this other man got right up on his bumper and he was tailing him honking his horn, shaking his fist, so upset. I wanted to ask him, hey, have you ever made a wrong turn? Have you ever cut anybody off? He looked bigger than me, so I didn't.

But we got to learn to give people a little room, so a little mercy. It's funny sometimes. Somebody will jump in front of us in traffic and we'll want to honk and get upset. And then just a few minutes later, we'll cross four lanes of traffic to exit. Half a Houston will be honking.

And we'll be thinking, come on, people. Give me a break. I'm only human. Now learn to sow a little mercy, be a little kinder. Have that gentle spirit. And we should never do things or say things to belittle a person.

Never make a person feel unimportant. For instance, maybe you're trying to explain something to somebody and they just can't seem to catch on. Well, don't get all huffy and puffy and try to make them feel like a loser. Be understanding. God has given us all different gifts and there are areas that you can pick up on very quickly. It's going to take me a lot longer and just the other way around. We need to be understanding, keep the right attitude. I know people that are always trying to belittle somebody.

Really, the problem is they're so insecure they do anything they can to put somebody. else down. Well, don't fall into that trap. The Bible says love covers a fault. Love covers a weakness, and love never embarrasses anybody. If somebody asks a dumb question in a business meeting, a dumb question at school, you should do your best to smooth it over. Cover for them. Don't embarrass them. Or maybe you're up at that checkout counter and the clerk that's running that cash register can't seem to get anything right. Maybe he's new. Well, don't just stand right there and breathe down his throat and tap on the counter. Come on, buddy. Give them a little bit of slack. Say, hey, you know what, take your time. It's okay. See, what I'm saying is learn to sow a little mercy. After all, we've all

been in those situations before. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's ever asked a dumb question before. We've all had times where we need a little mercy. We need a little understanding. The other day, when we opened up this building, they gave me a key to get in back here where we park. And it was this real odd-looking key. It was kind of oblong. and I'd never seen anything like this before. And so I came down one day during the week, and I tried and tried to figure out how this key is supposed to work. And I had it jiggling around the doorknob,

and I don't know, I thought maybe something was going to pop out, but I just couldn't get it to work. And so finally I had to go get the security guard. And I told him what I'd been doing. He said, well, let me just go show you. So we came back over to the back door, and he took my key, and he put it over to the right of the door on this electronic keypad.

And when he touched that, then the door just electronically open. And when he realized what I had been doing trying to put that key in the doorknob, he began to laugh and laugh. And then I started laughing, but man, he could not quit laughing. And after a while, I thought,

I'm glad you're enjoying this because we're sure going to miss you. But you should do your best to never make anybody feel small. I felt about that big. When somebody does something foolish, when somebody makes a mistake, just remember with the same amount of mercy you show, that's the same amount of mercy you're going to receive. And we need to learn to be understanding. If something is not right, there's a way to correct it without being rude

and getting all upset. I was at a fast food restaurant one time, and this guy was up at the counter and he was just having a fit. He was so upset. He said, listen here, I've been here for 10 minutes and I've watched three people leave that were behind me in line, and I demand to know what's wrong. On and on he went, giving them an earful, just making a big scene. Now, remember, you may be right, but if you're rude, then you're wrong. You need to learn to lower your voice tones. Ask in a respectful way. I've found people will do more for you if you're kind and courteous than if you're rude and obnoxious.

Politeness wins people over, not rudeness. You need to learn to be understanding. not demanding. It's like that guy heard about. He was up at the airline ticket counter, ranting and raving to the ticket agent, complaining about why it's taken so long, complaining about why she couldn't go any faster.

And as he continued to just holler and scream and throw a big fit, this ticket agent was just as calm and courteous and polite as she possibly could be. Didn't even look like it bothered her. Well, he went on his way and the next guy in line came up. And he said, ma'am, I got to tell you, I am so

impressed. You must be a good Christian. That guy was so obnoxious, yet you were so polite to him. I don't know how you did it. She smiled and said, well, it wasn't that hard. See, he's going to Detroit, but his bags are going to Bangkok. Friends, people respond to politeness, not rudeness. Proverbs 1621 says, a mature person is known for his understanding. The more pleasant his words, the more persuasive he is. Notice, if you want to be more persuasive in your business meetings, more persuasive with your clients, don't get loud, don't be critical toward your competitors, be pleasant, be courteous, be respectful. You want to be more persuasive with your husband, more persuasive with your children, more

persuasive with the waiter at the restaurant. The whole key is in the tone of your voice. It's in our demeanor, it's in our attitude. We've got to learn to be friendly, respectful, considerate. Please understand. You are never persuasive when you, you're not. You are never persuasive when you, You're rude. We're never persuasive when we're loud and obnoxious. You've got to make sure that your words are pleasant. It's politeness that changes people. It's being respectful. It's being understanding. I heard somebody say, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. If you go around sour all the time, spouting your opinion, trying to straighten everybody else out, not only are you not going to be a very good witness, but people are not going to respond to that. I found if you give respect, you'll get respect. If you're courteous to people, they'll be courteous to you. And if you'll have this gentle spirit and go ahead and let the guy in front of you in traffic and stay at that door 10 or 15 seconds and hold it open for the people behind you,

when you do that, God will make sure that people are always good to you. And we need to get in a habit of being kind and considerate to everyone. Not just the people we're trying to impress, but even the people that can't do anything for us. even the people that are just passing through our lives. I believe this is really the test of our faith. Because in a sense, we can all be nice and kind to our friends and to our coworkers because we want to keep a good reputation. But how about that man on the freeway that wants to get in front of you?

Or how about that lady that calls during dinner time trying to sell you something that you're not interested in? In other words, the people that can't do anything for us will probably never meet them. Nobody's watching. nobody's going to give us any credit. And the easy thing is to just blow them off and say, hey, you know what? Kind of stay away from me.

No, I'm challenging you today to develop a habit of being friendly. Make an effort to smile at people. Take time to compliment them. Take time to hold the door open for them. Don't be in such a rush in life in such a hurry that you miss these opportunities to sow seeds of kindness. We should be considerate everywhere we go. And we need to make sure that we never feel like we're too,

important or too busy to say please and thank you. Learn to express your appreciation. Even if you're paying somebody to do something for you, even if they're one of your employees, that doesn't mean you don't have to thank them. That doesn't mean you can just take them for granted. I've had people say, Joel, I pay them good. They better work hard. But no, have you ever thought about that person is made in the image of Almighty God? He's got feelings. She's got feelings. They need encouragement. They need your approval. Take time to thank them. Be grateful. Say, hey, I appreciate all you do for us. Thank you. See, just because we may be over somebody, just because you may be in management, that doesn't give us the right to treat people under us

like their second class. In fact, God is going to hold us to a higher standard. To whom much is given, much is required. And the truth is, the more authority we have, the more humility we should walk in. And the fact is, the same God that brought us up can be the same God that'll bring us down. And one thing that God will never tolerate is that someone that abuses their position of authority. If you're in leadership today and you want to stay in leadership, you need to make sure you treat people right. It's funny, I've seen people, they're so nice and kind, but you give them a little bit of power. They get a little authority, and all of a sudden it goes to their head. They start bossing people around, being rude, being harsh, that's never going to last.

Now, treat your employees good. Parents treat your children good. If you're a coach or a teacher, treat those students respectfully, God's going to hold us responsible. And really, this all needs to start at home. The atmosphere of our homes should be peaceful, should be one of respect and honor. Husbands and wives, if we're saying disrespectful things to each other, all we're doing is teaching our children that it's okay to be disrespectful. If we're making cutting sarcastic remarks, we can guarantee our children are going to grow up doing the exact same thing. See, more is caught than taught. Your children are not going to necessarily do what you tell them to do. They're going to

do what they see and what they hear you doing. You can tell them all day long, be kind, treat people with respect. But if they see you being disrespectful to their mother, to their father, to another family member, you're giving them a green light to do it as well. Now, there should be a sense of honor in our homes. And parents, we should not go around barking orders at our kids. Hard and harsh. Clean your room. Take the trash out. I told you, do your homework. No, be an example. Learn to say it in a loving and a kind way. And I believe that we should even get in a habit of saying, please and thank you to our children. We're training them. And sure, we can bals them around and bark orders at them and make it do it. I believe it's much better to say, hey, Jonathan, please take the trash out for

daddy. Or Alexandra, thank you for keeping the room so clean. See, there ought to be a gentleness about us. Be kind. Be grateful. I know every time Victoria cooks dinner, I make a special point to thank her for it. And I know she knows it, but I want her to hear it again. And I especially want my children to hear me expressing my thanks. And sometimes it's sad. And sometimes it's sad. to see what really goes on behind closed doors. As I said, we can all be nice and kind out in public. That's easy. But the real test of our character is how do we treat those that are closest to us?

How do we treat our own family members? Sometimes we can end up treating somebody at the office better than we treat our own wife, our own husband, our own children. You know, we don't think twice about going to get a cup of coffee and bringing it back for a coworker doing them a favor. but if our own wife, our own husband ask us to do that, it seems like we get all put out. I've seen

men, they'll go out of their way to open up a car door for a business associate, but when it comes to his own wife, she's got a fin for herself. That's not right. We should treat our own family better than we treat anybody else. I mean, they're the ones we're going to grow old with.

They're the ones that mean the most to us. And some of you need to examine your heart today and make some adjustments. Make sure that you're treating the ones very closest to you with respect and with honor. There's a scripture that says a man's wife is a reflection of his glory. In other words, Victoria is a reflection of me. And how I treat her can be seen in her smile, in how she dresses, in her attitude, in the way she carries herself. She's a reflection of my glory. Now, she's all beaten down

and depressed and she goes around discouraged all the time, then me being her husband, I need to examine my own life and make sure that I'm not missing it somewhere. And I know some women that are just like this so beaten down, and it's all because their husband is so domineering. He's not kind. He's not affectionate. There's no love and respect in the home. He's not putting into her what she needs. And year after year, that husband just drains the life and energy out of that wife. That should not be. Men, you need to look at your wife and see if she's reflecting the joy, the peace, the victory that God wants her to have. Remember, I used to play basketball with these guys. And after we got through, there was this one guy.

He'd always come up to him and he said, well, Joel, I got to go home and see my old lady. And I often thought, if you speak about your wife like that, you must not think too much of yourself because she's a direct reflection of you. I don't know about you, men, but I want my wife to shine. I want Victoria to be happy, to feel good, to look good. She's a reflection of my character, of my goodness, of my glory. And no, I'm not perfect, but I can tell you this, I respect my wife, I treat my children kindly. I do my best to treat my own family better than I treat anybody else. And that's the way that it should be.

I heard somebody put it like this. At your house, you have these different dishes that you eat off of. And if you're in a hurry and you're out playing ball, out mowing the lawn, a lot of time, you'll just grab some paper plates. They're quick and easy, and when you're done, you just throw them away. You don't have to worry about them getting damaged. But then most of the time, you're going to use your everyday

plates and dishes. And you've got to be careful with them, but they're a lot more durable. They'll withstand a lot of wear and tear. But then every once in a while, on a special occasion, you'll go into your dining room and you'll take out your fine china. Now, these dishes

are expensive. You've got to handle them with care. You don't just toss them around and treat them any way you want, they're valuable. You'll go to great lengths to make sure that they're taken care of. And in a sense, that's the way it is in life. Some people we just see in passing. We need to be respectful and kind, but they're not in our lives very long. And then, of course, we have our group of friends. We have our coworkers. We see them more on a regular basis. And again, we need to treat them right. But when it comes to our own wife, our own husband, our own children, they're not the paper plates, they're not the everyday wear these people are our fine china. They need

special attention. We don't treat them like we treat everybody else. We go the extra mile. We got to make sure they feel loved. They feel respected. They feel secure. They need to know we care about them more than anybody else. And oh yes, we need to be kind and courteous to everyone, but these people are the ones that God has entrusted us with. And I would challenge you again today, to make sure you're not showing your boss or your neighbor or your friends more respect than you're showing your own family. You've got fine china. They need that special care. They need to know more than anybody else you're concerned about them.

I want us to have strong families, strong marriages, strong relationships here. And I know how much the enemy would love to tear us apart. And it starts so slyly. It starts with just a little disrespect. A little comment here and there. And then as time goes on, you don't think anything about it. You let your guard down, and then more and more disrespect comes. And before you know it, you're living in two separate worlds.

No, take care of your family. Make sure that you're treating those the closest to you with respect, with love, better than you're treating anybody else. There's a scripture in 1. Peter 3, verse 7. It says, men, if we are not considerate and kind to our wives, if we don't treat them with respect, then it's going to hinder our prayers from being answered. A good friend of mine told me something that happened to him.

He and his wife tried for years to have a child. They were a young couple, but for some reason she just couldn't conceive, and they prayed and prayed, did everything they can, but no child. And so they got so frustrated year after year went by. And one day, he was on an airplane, returning home from India,

and he began to ask God about it. He said, God, I don't understand it. Why can't we have a child? Why can't we have a baby? It's not fair. And he said that God spoke something back to him. Not out loud, but right down in here. God said, son, you're not going to have a child

until you start treating your wife better. And you've got to understand, this young man was a minister. He was a good person. He loved God, but he was not treating his wife the way he knew he should. He was making sarcastic comments, being disrespectful, being hard to get along with. He said when he heard those words, it just pierced his heart. The good news is he was obedient. He didn't make excuses. He didn't blame other people. He began to make adjustments. And he started treating his wife better than he'd ever treated her before. He'd go out of

his way to do special things for her, treating her loving and kind, being considerate. And do you know it wasn't six months time until his wife finally conceived, just a little while after that she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Today they're as happy as can be. And I'm not saying if you don't have a child, that's the only reason, but I am saying we need to treat people right. Being disrespectful, being rude, being sarcastic, that's always going to keep us from God's best. So I want to challenge you again today, make a decision with me that you're going to be kind and courteous everywhere you go. Ask God to develop a greater gentleness on the inside. Learn to be understanding, not demand.

If you want to be more persuasive, you've got to make sure your words are pleasant. Remember, people respond to politeness, not to rudeness. And if you'll do your part and have a gentle spirit, taking time for people, treating them with respect and honor, I know God will do his part. He'll pour out his blessings in your life. And you'll not only be happier, but you'll see your relationships go higher and higher and get better and better. Amen. How many of you receive it today?

We never like to close our broadcast without giving you an opportunity. to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you, my Lord and Savior. Friends, if you prayed that simple prayer,

we believe you got born again. Get in a good Bible-based church. Keep God first place. He's going to take you places that you've never dreamed out. It's January. Time to renew my faith. It's January.

It's time to start a new season. It's January. There is no better time than now to set the course of our year ahead. The beginning of the year is a great time to start a fresh and anew. To let go of negative things of the past and to get ready for the new things God has in store. Every January, we create a new devotional calendar that will help you throughout the year. When you start the day off in faith, grateful for what God's done

and making positive declarations over your future, you're setting the tone for a blessed day and a victorious year. This devotional will help you get your mind going in the right direction so you can go out each day in faith, knowing that God is in control

and that his plans for you are for good. I'd love to send you a copy. As our way of saying thank you for your gift of any amount this first month of the year, we would like to send you a copy of our brand new 2022-34-365-day devotional calendar. Do you want to set a faith course for your life in 2024? Do you want to see your life take off in new directions of influence, favor, and provision

in the year ahead? Using this devotional calendar is as easy as one, two, three. One, wake up with an expectancy in your heart. Two, reflect on the daily scripture verse and devotional from Joel. 3. Capture God's promises to you on journaling lines for writing and reflection. Be sure to request your copy of the 2024 devotional calendar available this month by simply visiting us at joelosteen.com or calling 888-567 Joel.