Joel Osteen Podcast - Keeping Strife Out Of Your Life | Joel Osteen

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

If we’re going to keep strife out of our lives, we have to learn to give people the benefit of the doubt. When you do your part to keep the peace, God will make sure you never miss out on the blessings He has for you. Your best days are still ahead, and together we can make a difference in this world with the message of God's hope and love. To give visitJoelOsteen.com/GiveHope.You are not average, not ordinary. You Are a Masterpiece created in God’s image. Our February offer has extraordinary promises of God to give you mental, physical, and spiritual strength. Grow stronger each day seeing yourself the way God sees you!Request your copy now, https://bit.ly/490TjEF. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of the Joel Osteen Podcast ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast. 2024 is going to be an amazing year for you and your family. Know that we're praying for you. So get ready. Keep your expectations up. It's going to be a great year. Hope you enjoy today's message. Well, God bless you. It is always a joy to come into your homes. We know that God has good things in store for you. He rewards the people that seek after him. And we just counted an honor to spend this next half hour or so with you. So, Thanks for tuning in, and if you're ever in our area, I hope you'll stop by and be a part of one of our services.

It's a lot better in person that it is on TV. So come out and be a part of one of these, and we'd love to have you. But glad to have you joining us by TV today. I like to start with something funny each week, and I heard about this pastor that was walking down the street, and he came upon this group of young boys that were surrounding this little dog. And he asked them what they were doing. And they said, we're having a contest. whoever can tell the biggest lie can keep the dog.

He went into a 10-minute sermon, beginning with, don't you know lying is a sin? And ending with, when I was your age, I never told a lie. There was complete silence. Just when he thought he'd gotten through to them, the youngest boy spoke up and said, all right, give him the dog. Hold up your Bible. Say it like you mean it. Ready? This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the word of God.

I boldly confess, my mind is alert, my heart is receptive, I will never be the same. In Jesus' name. God bless you. I want to talk to you today about the importance of being a peacemaker. If we're going to have healthy relationships, then we've got to learn how to keep the strife out of our lives. And probably the greatest opportunity that we have for conflict is in dealing with people, because we're all different.

We have different personalities and different temperaments. And we've got to learn to give everybody a little bit of room. I've discovered just because somebody is not like me and just because they don't agree with every decision that I make, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm right and they're wrong. We're just different. And it takes maturity to get along. It takes maturity to not start something over a little issue.

It takes a mature person to not go around offended all the time. And if we're going to keep the strife out of our lives, then we've got to learn how to give people the benefit of the doubt. We've got to learn how to overlook some things. See, every person has faults. Every one of us has weaknesses. And we should not expect the people we're in relationship with to be perfect. No matter how great of a person they are, no matter how much you love them, if you're around them long enough, you will have an opportunity to be offended. an opportunity to get into strife. There's no such thing as a perfect spouse, a perfect boss, or even a perfect pastor, although I'm very close. And what are y'all laughing at?

But if we're putting these unrealistic expectations on people, expecting them to be perfect, not only is that not fair to that person, but it's going to be a source of frustration for us. We're always going to be disappointed. And I know people that kind of have the attitude, Well, I love you as long as you never hurt me, as long as you never make a mistake. Or I'll be your friend as long as you treat me just right. As long as you do it my way, then I'll accept you. Then I'll be happy. No, that's very unfair.

That's way too much pressure on that person. And the scripture says that love makes allowances for people's weaknesses. Love covers a person's faults. In other words, you've got to give people a little room. You've got to learn to overlook some things. quit picking at people. Quit demanding perfection out of your spouse, out of your children, out of the people you're in relationship with. Learn to show a little mercy. I know even with Victoria, I couldn't find a better wife. I couldn't find a more loving, caring, generous person.

And yet, there are some things I have to overlook. There are some things that I have to make allowances for. Nothing wrong with her. She's just human. But if I were a fault finder, if I were critical and picking out things here and there and keeping an account of everything she did wrong, then our relationship wouldn't be what it is today. You know, as well as I do, all that does is open up the door to strike.

Before long, we'd be at odds with each other, arguing, fighting. No, make allowances for each other's weaknesses. And learn not to wear your feelings on your shoulder. Don't be easily offended. There is nothing worse than living with a touchy person. And if somebody offends you, If somebody does you wrong, you've got to learn to just shake it off and move on.

The scripture says, love believes the best in people. You say, Joel, my husband, he hardly even spoke to me this morning. Or he didn't even thank me for cooking dinner the other night. Well, that's a great opportunity to show him some mercy. Love covers a fault. Instead of going through the day all offended and all upset, have you ever thought about the fact that maybe he wasn't feeling up to part? maybe he's under a lot of pressure at work, maybe he's a little stressed out,

why don't you give him the benefit of the doubt? Why don't you believe the best in him? My father used to say, everybody has the right to have a bad day every once in a while. If somebody does something you don't like, if they're rude or they walk by without speaking, let me tell you, you're going to have to be the bigger person. You've got to swallow your pride and say, you know what? I don't believe they really meant to do that. I'm going to overlook it and move on.

See, what I'm saying is instead of immediately going to the negative and seeing the worst, let's get in a habit of immediately going to the positive. Let's get in a habit of believing the best in people. That's what it means to cover a fault. And the scripture says here in 1 Corinthians 13 verse 5 that love keeps no record of wrongs done to it. And some of you would see your relationships go to a whole new level if you just get rid of the record book. I know people that have a mental list of everything anybody's done wrong to them for the last 20 years. I mean, they'd make a great accountant.

They've got a detailed record every time their spouse hurt them. Every time their boss was a little rude. Every time their parents missed the grandkids ballgame. No, get rid of your record book. Let those things go. Somebody told me the other day, Joel, every time my wife and I have a little disagreement, she brings up every mistake I've made for the last 10 years. Well, you did this last year and 10 years ago you did that.

And last month you hurt me. No, as long as you're bringing up all that junk, you're going to have strife in your life. You say, Joel, it's true. I'm telling you, I'm the one that's right. Well, let me ask you, do you want to be right or do you want to have peace? Do you want to have your way all the time? Or do you want to have healthy relationships?

Many times we can't have both. I heard somebody say, any married man should forget his mistakes because there's no point in two people remembering the same thing. You get the message. Get rid of those record books. And in our relationships, especially in our marriages, it's so important that we not keep score. I've heard people say, well, I took out the trash last week. I did the dishes and I changed the diapers. Yeah, but I had to go to work. I dealt with the boss. I put up with the traffic. No, put away your scorecard. All that does is make you more competitive. It's going to bring out bitterness and resentment. And before long, you're going to be

treating that person less than you know you should. You've got to work together, be respectful, and learn not to picket little things here and there. Friends, there is strength in unity. There is strength when you're in agreement. You and your spouse are more powerful together than you are apart. And sometimes in order to keep the peace, you just got to be the bigger person and overlook some things. You say, Joel, my husband is lazy, and he does this, and he does that. Well, that may be true,

but that tells me you got your record book out. That tells me you're keeping a detailed account. I'm asking you today to throw that thing away. I'm asking you to make allowances for the sake of peace. And even if you don't do it for yourself, do it for your family, do it for your children. Let some things go.

I mean, you've got to make an effort to keep strife out of your your life. I heard about this lady that was driving through an intersection. She accidentally turned too sharply, and she sidestwiped this other car. And she couldn't believe it. It was her brand new car, a wedding gift. She was so upset. So she pulled over to the side of the road. This older gentleman got out of his car, and he began to examine the damage. It was pretty beat up. The front bumper was messed up. And so he went over to where she was, and she was sitting in her car there just crying, so distraught. And she said, you know, I just got married and my husband gave me this car as a wedding gift and he is going to be so upset. I don't know what I'm going to do. And that older gentleman

tried to console her. He said, no, it'll be okay. I'm sure he'll understand. And after they talked for a few minutes, he said, if I could just get your insurance information and we'll exchange that and be on our way. And she said, you know, I don't even know if I have an insurance card. And he said, well, it's usually in the glove compartment, why don't you check? She opened it up, and sure enough it was there, and attached to the little envelope that the insurance card was in, there was a note. It said, honey, just in case you ever have an accident, please remember, I love you and not the car.

That's the kind of people we need to strive to be. Show mercy. Don't keep a record of every mistake. Learn to cover some of those weaknesses. Well, you say, Joel, my spouse and I, we're just not really that compatible. We just can't get along. We are so different. No, do you know God put you with someone different than you are on purpose?

That is not a mistake. Opposites attract. God knew what you needed. You have strengths and weaknesses. That other person has strengths and weaknesses. And most likely, your strengths make up for their weaknesses, and their strengths make up for your weaknesses. You complement each other. You should not compete with that other person.

You should complete that other person. Really, you need each other. But you've got to learn to get along and not allow these little weaknesses or little quirks in people's personalities to cause conflict, cause strike. For instance, maybe you're a very neat and a tidy person. You like everything put perfectly into place. But your husband, he's a little more sloppy. He tends to leave things lying around. And you've told him a thousand times to not leave his shoes.

in front of the TV. You go in there one night and sure enough, there they are. That just really aggravates you. And so you make the mistake of going in there and finding him. You stay, when are you ever going to start picking up your shoes? All I do is clean up around here. I'm so tired of working at this house. No, that's the wrong approach. Why don't you be the peacemaker? Why don't you be the bigger person? You need to learn to just pick the shoes up and put them away quietly so you can enjoy the rest of your evening. What I'm saying is don't make a big deal out of things that are not a big deal. That really

is not worth allowing strife into your home. That is not worth starting an argument over. Why don't you just let that go? Well, you said, Joel, my wife, I've told her a thousand times to put the garage down when she comes home, but she forgets and that just aggravates me. That gets on my nerves.

Now, why don't you cover for her? Why don't you make allowances for her weaknesses like she does yours? Well, you said, Joel, when's she ever going to change? When's he ever going to change? Let me tell you when people are going to change. They'll change when you quit nagging them. They'll change when you keep a good attitude and quit complaining about it. And see, if you'll do your best to cover a weakness and go out of your way to keep strife out of your life, you know what you're doing? You're sowing a seed for God to change that person. You can't change people.

Only God can. You can nag them night and day, but it's only going to make matters worse. It's only going to bring more strife and more division. And the scripture in Romans 12, verse 16, says, we need to adapt and adjust in order to keep the peace. It doesn't say that everybody should adapt and adjust to us. No, we've got to be willing to change if we're going to have peace in our lives. That means you can't have the attitude. If my wife starts doing what I ask her to, then we'll have peace in our home. If my husband will start putting his stuff away, then we'll begin to get along.

or if my boss will start treating me better, then I'll start treating him okay. No, you have to make adjustment in order to keep the peace. In other words, you've got to just swallow your pride and go put the shoes away. And then don't go announce to him that you did it. Well, I picked up your shoes again. I've done it a thousand times. I don't know when you're ever going to learn. No, just put the stinking shoes away and move on.

I'll make sure you get it today. But you may not realize when you do your part, to keep strife out of your home, you are honoring God. And when you honor God, God will always honor you. And I believe one of the main keys is we have to adapt. We have to make adjustments. Quit waiting for the other person to change. You be the peacemaker in your family.

And sometimes we allow strife in over the smallest, most insignificant things. We argue over things that don't even matter, little petty things. I remember one time Victoria and I were driving out of our nation. neighborhood, and we stopped to look at this new house that was being built. And I simply made the comment, I wonder why they put the garage over there. That's not the way I would have done it. And Victoria said, well, I think he did that so he'd give him more room on his lot. And I kind of studied it, and I said, no, that wouldn't give him any more room. She said, sure, would. Joel, give him a a whole lot more room. Do you know 15 minutes later, we were still debating why that guy put his

garage where he did? Our voice tones were getting louder. Our words were getting sharper. Finally, it dawned on me, why are we arguing over where this guy put his garage? We don't even know who the man is. That's not worth losing our joy over. That's not worth losing your peace over. And I'm asking you today to let go of all of this petty stuff. I'm asking you to quit arguing over things that don't matter. Do you know, I know people that have gotten a divorce,

all because they stayed stirred up over these little insignificant things. they allow it to fester, it takes root, and before long they're living at each other's throat. And the funny thing is they know deep down in here they really love each other, but through the years, they've allowed strife to get in. They didn't take it seriously. They began to argue, and they started treating each other disrespectfully, and sure enough, eventually, that relationship was destroyed. Jesus said in the book of Matthew, a house divided is continually being brought to destruction and it will not stand. Notice Jesus said, if you allow strife into your relationship, it is being brought to destruction. In other words, it may not happen overnight. It may not happen

in a couple of months or even a couple of years. But if you allow strife to stay and you don't think anything about arguing and holding grudges and keeping the record book and making sarcastic remarks. You may not realize it, but that relationship is in the process of being destroyed. That strife is chipping away at your foundation. And unfortunately, unless you make a decision to do something about it, you could very well look up one day and think to yourself, man, what in the world have I done? Now, I'm challenging you today to do whatever it takes to keep strife out of your life. Don't be hard-headed. Don't be stubborn. Some of you have been at odds with people your life month after month after month, not speaking to them, giving them the cold shoulder.

Listen, you need to make things right. Life is way too short to live it that way. I talked to a man a while back and he was so broken, so defeated. I asked him what was wrong. He explained how he and his father got at odds with each other over a business decision and they hadn't spoken in over two years time. And he said, Joel, I knew deep down in here that I needed to make it right, but I just kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off. And earlier that week, he had got a call from somebody telling him that his father had had a heart attack and was no longer with us. You can imagine what he has to deal with. No, don't wait until you cannot do it. Do it today. Swallow your pride and apologize, even if it wasn't your fault. Quit having to have the last

word in every argument. How many times have we heard the still small voice right down in here tell us, walk away, keep the peace, just let it go, but we ignore it. We end up getting into a great big argument. All kinds of turmoil could have been avoided if we'd just been the bigger person and walked away. And understand, it's not always about being right, it's about keeping strife out of your life. Because you can win every argument in the world. But if it opens the door to turmoil, if it brings division and tears you the part, in the end you really didn't want to. win at all. You'd been much better off to just let it all go. And some of you today, if you don't make some changes, if you don't heed what's being said, then that relationship is not going to

last. And I believe that God always gives us a warning. God always gives us a wake-up call. And he's simply saying today, quit being so argumentative. Quit being a fault finder. Quit keeping your record books. Let all that stuff go and start being a peacemaker. Well, you say, Joel, I'll do it as soon as my husband changes. I'll do it as soon as my boss starts treating me better. No, if you wait for somebody else to be the peacemaker in your life, you may wait around your whole lifetime. Peace starts with you.

You've got to make the first news. Well, Joel, I apologized first last time. That's not fair. It's his turn to apologize. Well, it may not be fair, but it can keep you together. Swallow your pride. Be the bigger person. Do it anyway.

When you do that, you're sorry. sown a seed. When you do it, you're passing the test. Let me tell you, God will always make it up to you. I think about the story of Abraham. One time he moved to a new land with his nephew Lott, but the land wasn't big enough to support both of them. And the Bible says in Genesis 13 verse 7 that Lott's herdsmen begin to get into strife with Abraham's herdsmen. Well, what did Abraham do? He immediately began to deal with it. He knew if he allowed that strife, he was not. He knew if he allowed that strides, he, strife to continue. Before long, it would not only be affecting the herdsmen, but it would affect his relationship with Lot. He knew that strife would eventually bring turmoil to the whole family.

And so Abraham took the high road. He said in verse 8, Lot, I don't want there to be any strife between you and me. And he let Lot choose the best piece of land. In other words, to avoid strife, he allowed Lot to be right. He allowed Lot to have it his way, even if he let's though technically Abraham, he was the older gentleman, he should have been able to choose the best piece of land. My point is, sometimes you're going to have to let the other person be right simply for the sake of peace. Sometimes you're going to have to swallow your pride, and no matter how much it hurts, you've got to let the other person do it their way just so you can keep strife out of your life. It may not be fair. You may know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're right

and they're wrong, doesn't matter. You've got to just bite your tongue, let it go, and trust God to make it up to you. The Bible says that because Abraham kept the peace, because he refused to get into strife, God turned it around and honored him by giving him the whole country. And you too, if you will make a decision to keep the peace, even though it's not your fault, even though somebody's done you wrong and you've got a good cause to get in there and argue, you. If you'll keep the peace anyway, let me tell you, God will honor you and bring you out with an abundance. And some of you today, the only thing that's keeping you from getting out of

strife is the fact that you know you're right and you know the other person's wrong. And you just can't let it go. You think, Joel, that's not fair. Well, it may not be fair. But if you will just leave it up to God and take the high road like Abraham did and just refuse to get into strife, then in the end, God's going to bring you out better off than you. you were before. And the Bible doesn't say that if we're in strife, as long as it's not our fault, then it's okay. No, when we're in strife, no matter whose fault it is, it's going to bring destruction and turmoil. We have to make adjustments to keep the peace. We have to do our part. I heard about this couple that had major problems in their marriage. And the truth is,

the man was the main cause. He was very selfish, very argumentative. And basically, he was just a very hard to get along with critical negative person. And neither of these two people would give an inch. Now this woman, she really loved God. She went to church every week and did her best to live a life of integrity. But the man, he was just the opposite. Wouldn't have anything to do with the things of God. Very cold and sarcastic about that.

And so this lady prayed and prayed for God to change her husband. Year after year went by. Nothing got better. They just continued to live in strife. And one day she was praying and she said, God, why do I have to live in such a terrible environment? When are you ever going to change my husband? And God spoke something back to her, not out loud, but right down in here. And he said, I'm going to change your husband as soon as you change. She said, God, what do you mean? He's the problem. He's the one that mean and argumentative. I go to church every Sunday.

God said, no, you're not doing all you can to keep the peace. You become indifferent to this situation. and you're being a part of allowing that strife to stay into your home. Then God said something very interesting. He said, I'm going to hold you responsible because you know the truth. You know the right thing to do. And when you start doing that, I'll begin to change your husband. See, the scripture says to him that knows what's right and doesn't do it, then it's sin. And a lot of times, we're waiting for the other person to change.

We know they're wrong. We know they're at fault. we have to realize God is going to hold us responsible to do what we know to do. When we allow strife into our homes, we just simply open up the door to trouble. A few years ago,

Victoria and I and our two children went for a bike ride together out at the park. And this day had not gone real well for me. I was kind of aggravated at something Victoria had done. I didn't think it was right. It just kind of irritated me.

I remember so clearly that I chose to hold on to it. I could have so easily overlooked it. It wasn't any big deal. I could have so easily just let it go and enjoyed the day at the park. But no, I chose to stay sour. I was kind of giving her the cold shoulder, didn't want to have too much to do with her.

And so we're out at the park riding our bikes, and I got my little daughter, Alexandra, on my bike seat behind me. And Jonathan had just learned how to ride his bike a few months earlier. So we had to go kind of slow. He wasn't real sure of himself. And I had gotten maybe 50 or 100 yards ahead of heat. and Victoria. And all of a sudden, this biker came riding the other way. It passed me going very, very fast. And my first thought was, man, I hope Jonathan is careful. This guy is flying. Well,

sure enough, just as he got up there close to Jonathan, Jonathan saw him, and he got spooked, and he turned right into his path, and they hit head on. And I mean, it was a loud collision. I thought for sure he had broken an arm or a leg or something. He just sounded so bad. And I set my bike down, and I ran back there as fast as I could, and I picked up little Jonathan, and I was amazed that he wasn't hurt that badly. I mean, he was skinned up on his legs and his arms. He didn't have any broken bones. Fortunately, that other rider was okay as well. But when everything kind of calmed down, something said on the inside of me so strongly, Joel, you brought all this on yourself. You had the choice to make things right. You had the choice to keep the strife out, but you chose not to. And see,

I knew better. I can relate to what that lady was saying. I knew I was holding on to the offense. I knew I wasn't treating Victoria right. And this is what happens. The scripture says, don't give any foothold to the enemy. All he's looking for is a little foothold of strife, a foothold of arguing, a foothold of having unforgiveness. And of course, I'm not saying that every accident is because of this, but I knew I had brought this on ourselves. And see, when we choose to hold on to strife, and to not forgive and to be hard-headed and to not overlook little things, what we're really doing is stepping out of God's protection. We're stepping out of God's blessings and favor.

And that's why I'm challenging you today to do everything you can to keep strife out of your life. Don't be hard-headed like I was. Be the bigger person. Swallow your pride and keep to peace. Learn to overlook some things. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember, you and I have to adapt and adjust if we're going to be. going to have peace. And again, it may not always be fair, but we have to ask ourselves, do I want to

be right or do I want to have peace? And I know God's dealing with some of you right now, and I believe today can be a turning point in your life. If you will just simply make a decision that you're going to swallow your pride and you're going to do everything it takes to keep to peace. Let me tell you, if you do that, God promises you're going to be blessed. He said, blessed are the peacemakers. If you'll have that kind of attitude, your relationships are going to get. better and better. And I believe you're going to experience the life of victory that God has in store. Amen. How many of you receive it today? But I know you do. We never like to close our broadcast without giving you an opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you pray with me?

Just say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you my Lord and Savior. Friends, if you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got. born again. Get in a good Bible-based church. Keep God first place. He's going to take your places you've never dreamed up. Breath taking, that's what you feel when you look out at majestic mountain peaks. Yes, God's creation truly is a masterpiece. But even as you consider his handiwork, you might also feel less that, not good enough or not valuable. The image before you is incredible, but the confidence inside is lacking. How do you overcome this? The opinion you have of yourself is your most important opinion. Too often we see ourselves as ordinary, not talented,

unattractive. That wrong self-image is setting the limits for our life. The key is to get an agreement with who God says you are. He calls you a masterpiece, strong, talented, valuable. If you'll have the right image of yourself, you'll rise higher and become who you were created to be. We have a new resource that will help you do just that. It's called You Are a Masterpiece. It's filled with inspiration and encouragement that will remind you who you really are. Gifted, chosen, approved. It will help you get rid of the wrong self-image and start seeing yourself as the masterpiece God created you to be.

As our thank you for your gift of any amount to the ministry this month, we want to send you Joel's inspiring new book. You are a masterpiece. God made you unique with a divine purpose and a bright future. As these truths sink down in your spirit, the majesty of God's glory will arise within you. Yes, God has breathed his life into you. He approved you, equipped you, empowered you.

Stop believing the lies about you and start hearing what God says about you. Thanks so much for being a part of the ministry. Victoria and I pray for you and your family every day. Believing it's going to be a favor-filled 2024. We appreciate your prayer and support. Your generosity is impacting people around the world. Remember, you can watch the services live online Sunday mornings, see all the music and ministry.

Download our daily podcast until we meet again. May the Lord bless you and keep you. Be sure to request your copy of the You Were a Masterpiece Today. Visit joelowsteen.com.