Joel Osteen Podcast - Stop Counting on People | Joel Osteen

Episode Date: July 27, 2025

When someone isn’t for you, don’t waste time trying to win them over. Your value and approval comes from your Heavenly Father.Your best days are still ahead, and together we can make a difference in this world with the message of God's hope and love. To give visit JoelOsteen.com/GiveHope.Your life is marked for distinction. Our July offer will help you silence doubt, shake off rejection, and reach the destiny God has already prepared for you. Request the new Chosen devotional and step forward with confidence—you’ve been chosen for more, https://bit.ly/4dVacnV! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of the Joel Osteen Podcast ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Victoria and I believe in you're going to have a blessed summer praying for you guys every day. And thanks for being with us today. Hey, I'm excited. Victoria's got a new book out. It's called Grace to Go. And I know it's going to bless you. I'm excited because in this book, you will see how you are strengthened, that you are prepared, and you are ready for anything that's in front of you.

You are Grace to Go. Enjoy today's message. Well, God bless you. It's great to be with you today. and I hope you'll stay connected with us during the week through our daily podcast, our YouTube channel, and social media. And you can come visit us in person. We'd love to have you be a part of one of our services. I'd like to talk with something funny, and somebody sent me this funny thought, and I kind of liked it. But here's how good. In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested. Next, God created women. And since then, neither God nor man has rested. A lady asked my father one time, she said, where would you men be without us women? My father smiled and said, in the Garden of Eden. Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do.

Today I will be taught the word of God. I boldly confess, my mind is alert, my heart is receptive. I will never be the same. Jesus' name. God bless you. I want to talk to you today about not counting on people. Sometimes we're getting our worth and value from how people treat us. If they're kind and compliment us and invite us to their event, acknowledge our gifts, then we'll feel good about ourselves. We have their approval and their validation. And it's great when people are for us and make us feel valuable. But the problem with counting on people is people can change. People can get busy.

People can become jealous. People can be discouraged. They can't keep you cheered up. They have their own issues. They never compliment themselves. They're probably not going to compliment you. And instead of looking to people, you have to go to God. No matter how much someone loves you and how much they want the best for you, they can't give you everything you need. They can't always be there to cheer you up and keep you in courage, feeling confident. Let them off the hook. That's a lot of pressure for someone to know they have to keep you fixed. They have to compliment you three times a day and tell you how great you are, how you're going to make it. They want the best for you, but at some point they'll let you down. They're human. God never designed us to get that all from people.

but from him. And yes, he'll use people, but don't be surprised when he pulls that back and you don't get from them what you used to. He's teaching you to depend on him and not their approval, their compliments, their encouragement, because that's temporary. That's dependent on what's going on in their life. And sometimes the acceptance, the approval we're longing for from people, they don't have it to give. Nobody gave it to them. Nobody gave it to them. the way you want them to love you, respect you, and make you feel important, they never saw that growing up. Nobody put that in them. Are you trying to get something from someone that they don't have to give? Trying to convince that coworker to acknowledge just one time that you're talented,

that you have good ideas, or that family member to accept you, clude you, make you feel welcome. No matter what you do, it's like your secondary, not good enough. enough. No, stop counting on people to give you something they don't have. They love you. Sure, they're a good person. If they had it, they would give it. Try a different approach. God, I know you accept me. You approve me. You call me a masterpiece. You said I can do all things through Christ. Get your approval from Almighty God. Sometimes we're trying to get something from a person that's never going to give it. Not because they can't give, it, but they don't want to. They're never going to be for us, never show us respect, never acknowledge

our gifts. That's okay. Everyone is not supposed to be for you. If you don't realize this, you'll get stuck trying to change people's mind, thinking I've got to win them over and prove that I'm a good person, convince them that they're wrong about me. All that's going to do is frustrate you, cause you to live stress. You have to let it go and move. forward. You don't need their approval. Well, Joel, they don't respect me. You don't need their respects. They don't acknowledge my gifts. You don't need their acknowledgement. You know what they are? A distraction. The enemy would love for you to waste your time trying to change something that you can't change. Living stressed over someone that doesn't really matter. They cannot stop your destiny.

them not being for you doesn't lessen your value. Not recognizing your talent, downplaying your accomplishments, treating you like your inferior. That doesn't change the fact that you're a masterpiece, that you have seeds of greatness, that you're wearing a crown of favor. Why are you wasting time trying to get something from someone that they're never going to give?

Jesus told his disciples, when you go into a city and they don't, accept your message, they don't welcome you. He didn't say, stay there and try to convince him to change. Tell them how good you are, how sincere, prove your talent. No, he said, shake the dust off your feet and move on. He was saying, don't waste another minute trying to convince people to like you, respect you, include you, come see you. We spend too much time trying to win people over that are never going to be for us, trying to get something that they're never going to give.

And this can be difficult, especially when it's people close to us. We long for approval from our relatives, the people we look up to. But think about David in the scripture, his father didn't really believe in him. He discounted him and left him out in the shepherd's fields when Samuel came to anoint one of the sons as the next king.

He thought David, it's not, him. He's too small, too young. It's not as talented as his brothers. David could have lived bitter, upset, trying to convince his father to change his mind, but he shook it off and moved forward. When he took lunch to his brothers, they were in the army in another city and he was being kind, doing them a favor. The oldest brother, Iliab, belittled him in front of the other soldiers. He said, David, what are you doing here? And what did you do with those few sheep you're supposed to be taken care of? He tried to make David feel small and insignificant. You would think his brother would say, David, thanks for coming so far. Thanks for being so kind and generous. But people may not

give you what you deserve. Sometimes they don't have it. It's just not in them. Other times they're jealous, competitive, or they're bitter from things that have nothing to do with you. It's easy to try to defend and prove and win over because we want people's approval. But what if you knew they were never going to give it? If you became Superman, you were the greatest, kindest, most loving, talented person ever, yet they're still going to discredit, dismiss, downplay who you are. it's much better to do what Jesus said, shake the dust off and move on. Be kind, be respectful, but don't try to win their approval. You don't need it.

They're a distraction. When that brother disrespected David, the scripture says, David turned and walked away. His attitude was, I don't need your respect. You don't have to believe in me. You don't control my destiny. But had David tried to change Eliab's mind, and convinced him that he was good and talented, I'm not what you think. He would have been so distracted, arguing, trying to win him over, that he wouldn't have heard

Goliath up on the mountain. Don't miss your assignment trying to convince people to be for you that are never going to be for you. Fighting battles that don't matter, shake the dust off and move forward. When my father went to be with the Lord and I stepped up to be. pastor the church. There was a man that had been close to our family and had been here for many years. He called and told me how happy he was for me. Then he went on to tell me how to run the church, how to lead the staff, and who to hire, and what I should speak on and the changes I should make.

He was very opinionated and very strong. I was very insecure and very quiet. But something on the inside rose up like a lion. I didn't say anything to him, but I thought, you are not going to squeeze me into your mold. I may look weak, but you have another thing coming. He was for me as long as I was doing what he wanted. He gave me his approval as long as I was in his box. The problem was, I didn't like anything he told me. It didn't bear witness to my spirit. I had to decide, am I going to do what God's called me to do? Or am I going to try to please this man and stay in his good grace? And I knew if I did what God put in my heart, he'd get upset.

He'd be offended. He'd look down on me. But the scripture says it is better to please God than to please people. When we come to the end of life, we're not going to stand before people. We're going to stand before God. And I didn't take his advice. I went the way I felt in my heart and he was upset, but I've learned if you try to keep everyone else happy, you're going to be unhappy. To fulfill your assignment, there will be people that

don't approve, don't accept, misunderstand, you can't worry about all that. I knew he was never going to give me his approval. He was never going to be for me, but that's okay. I didn't need his approval. I didn't need him to cheer me on. If I had done it his way, here's what I know, it would have never been enough. Take the pressure off. You don't need people's applause. Do what God put in your heart, and you'll hear his applause. He's the one that matters. Promotion doesn't come from people. It comes from God. And the funny thing, and all credit to God, but the church grew, and we moved here into the compact center. I've had books. I've had books. I've done, media go out all over, he never once acknowledged it. He never once called back and said,

Joel, I'm so proud of you. It's amazing what God has done. My point is, he was never really for me. He was for manipulating me, controlling me. If you don't do what I want, I'm not going to give you my approval. I'm not going to respect you. Do yourself a favor, shake that dust off, and move on. quit worrying about if you're going to fall out of someone's good grace, trying to get something that they're never going to give. Or if they do give it, it's going to be conditional. As long as you stay in my box, then I'll approve you. You don't need them. There are distractions. If you're not aware, you'll waste time and energy trying to win them over, letting people manipulate you, being frustrated. life is too short to live that way. You have a destiny to fulfill. There was a man in the scripture

named Haman. He was a high-ranking official in the Persian Empire, the right-hand man of King Erxes. He had this prominent position working daily with the king. When he walked out of the palace, people would bow down to show their respect. That was their tradition. But there was a Jewish man named Mordecai that wouldn't bow down. He would only bow to Jehovah. Well, everywhere Haman went, people would show their respect, walking down the street or going to a restaurant, in the city square. People were constantly acknowledging Haman, showing him honor. You would think he wouldn't worry about Mordecai. Not given the time of day, one person won't bow. Big deal. Hundreds of others do. But verse 5 says, when Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor, he was filled with rage.

He was furious. Not because someone tried to harm his child, steal his funds, take his positions, all because one man wouldn't show respect. He was so angry, so offended, verse 6 says, he decided it was not enough to just get rid of Mordecai alone, but he was going to annihilate all the Jewish people. We're so consumed trying to get something from Mordecai that Mordecai was never going to give that he got distracted, lost his focus. Now he's not just upset with Mordecai.

He's going to try to wipe out tens of thousands of people because one man won't show him respect. When you look at it from the big picture, it's almost comical. You're going to upend your whole life. take these drastic measures because one man has offended you, one person won't approve you, won't celebrate your positions? The fact is, Mordecai not bowing down, wouldn't have stopped Haman's destiny. He could have ignored it. I thought, I don't need his respect. He doesn't control my purpose, but it was a trick to get him off course, engaged in a battle that didn't matter,

trying to get something from someone that they were never going to give. How many of us are doing like Haman so focused on what someone won't give us? Joel, they won't approve me. They don't show me respect. They won't compliment me. They don't invite me to their gathering. They don't recognize my talent. We can get so set on changing them, fixing them, proving to them that we get distracted

and miss our assignment. You don't need their respect. You don't need them to be for you. It may be someone close to you, a relative, a coworker that should compliment you. They should be grateful and show your respect. You deserve it. You have the position. You've been good to them.

But you can't make people give you something. Make them like you, make them before you. That's a task. Are you going to get distracted trying to get something that they're never going to give? live upset, trying to pay them back, change their mind. Do like David, turn and walk away. Don't pay it any attention. If you needed their respect, their validation, their support, you would have it. God is not going to withhold any good thing you need. If they're withholding it, they can't stand against God. The right attitude is, I don't need it. Yes, I wish I had it, but God, I'm

not depending on what people give or don't give, my trust is in you. I get my value, my work, my encouragement from you. Well, Queen Esther was a Jew, and she heard a Hayman's plan to destroy her people. She asked the king if he would have dinner with her and Heiman. She was going to tell him about this plot. Well, Heyman was so happy. He was being honored by the king. verse 10 says he gathered his friends in his home and bragged about his wealth the honors the king had given him and how he had been promoted over the other leaders how queen esther had invited him to a private banquet which is her and the king was so excited feeling good about himself then he said the next verse but all this is meaningless to me as long as i see mordecai sitting there at that palace game He had all these great things going for, position, influence, friends, honor. But one man wouldn't show him respect. One man wouldn't give him what he wanted.

Instead of letting it go, shaking the dust off, he stayed focused on it. He thought, I've got to fix Mordecai if it's the last thing I do. You know, it was the last thing he did. He lost his life trying to get something from someone that they were not. never going to give. And I realize this was the plan of God to save the Jews, but look at the principles. When you get so focused on trying to get something from someone that doesn't want to give it, or perhaps they don't have it to give, then you'll get distracted, trying to prove and convince and pay back, do yourself a favor. If you don't get it, shake it off. You don't need it. Quit counting on

people to give you what only God can give. Go to him for your approval, your validation, your work. Because I can promise you, there will always be someone that doesn't give you what you want, what you deserve, what they should. These are tests. We can get offended like Heyman, get distracted and try to win them over, change their mind, or we can do like David and turn and walk away. A friend of mine, grew up in a single parent home. At five years old, his father walked out of his life and wouldn't have anything to do with the family or him. As a child, he longed to see his father and long for the approval, but the dad wouldn't return his mother's cause. As a teenager, he would send his father's

letters, father's day cards, birthday cards, hoping for some kind of reply, but nothing. The psalmist said, God will be a father to the fatherless. Sometimes people don't give us what they should. Children should have love, acceptance, approval from their parents, but life can happen. People aren't around, or they never got it as a child,

and they don't know how to give it. This young man never got offended, didn't grow up bitter and trying to prove to people he was okay. His mother was always reminding him how he was made in the image of God, that he was a masterpiece, approved and accepted by his heavenly father. 30 years old, his father reached out and said he wanted to see him. My friend took his two little girls, flew to a different city, and showed up at the house. The wife opened the door

and said, I'm so sorry, but your dad has changed his mind. He doesn't want to see you after all. You can imagine how heartbreaking, discouraging, finally got his hopes up, going to get approval from his father, but it never happened. Some people, it's not that they don't want to, they just don't have it to give. He learned that his father had been abandoned as a child, and there were all these wounds and hurts that he had never dealt with. The amazing thing is, my friend is one of the most happy, kind, generous, talented people. that you will ever meet. His children are now grown and successful. You would never know that he didn't have a great upbringing. It's because he learned to go to God and not to people. Get your value, your worth, your approval from your heavenly father. Because if you're trying to get it from people,

you can be disappointed. People can let you down. People have issues, things that they didn't get. It's easy to find fault. Man, why wasn't I raised in a, better environment. Why won't my spouse encourage me more? Why won't my friend acknowledge my accomplishment? Why don't they give me credit? It's almost like they owe me something. I'm expecting you to give me this. A better way to live is nobody owes me anything. My heavenly father takes care of me. If not, we're depending on people to keep us happy. Our spouse to cheer us up, our friend to make us feel valued. This coworker needs to show me respect. So I feel good about myself. Let them off the hook. Quit going to people and start going to God.

Second Timothy 4. The Apostle Paul was talking about opposition and things that had come against him. He said in verse 10, Demas has forsaken me and gone to another city. Someone he was counting on left him. Verse 14, Alexander the Copper Smith did me great wrong, but the Lord will represent. pay him. Verse 16. At my trial, no one came to support me. Everyone deserted me, but the Lord stood by my side and gave me strength. The Lord will rescue me from every attack. The Lord will bring me safely through. Look at all the times people let him down, walked away and weren't loyal. He could have been bitter. Why did this happen? Trying to pay them back. But every time someone did him wrong, he said, the Lord will help me.

me, the Lord will pay me back. The Lord will rescue me. The Lord will bring me safely through. He wasn't depending on people. He was depending on God. If he was counting on people, he would have been discouraged and given up. Demus left him. His main man, he'd been good to Demus. He'd mentored him. But he abandoned Paul, went to another city. At his trial, no one came to support him. His whole staff, friends, followers, people he had been good to, sorry. sorry, Paul, you're on your own. There will be these times that people can't give you what you need. They're good people, but they're busy. They're tired. When you need them, they can't make it. Don't get better. Don't try to make them feel guilty. Look at all I've done for you. If they can't

give you what you're looking for, the support, the encouragement, the validation, you don't need it from them. As you mature, as you grow, God will wean you off of what you used to have. Like a mother takes away a bottle so the baby can grow and eat real food, God will take away what a person is giving you so you won't be dependent on them. You don't need a crutch. You don't need someone to always keep you fixed, cheer it up, motivated. That's good for a season, but you have to learn to get that from God and not people. because one of your people may be a demus. You thought I was going to say a demon.

A deemus. Maybe that too. Demus left you when you really needed him. Or a Peter. He said, Jesus, I'll always be with you. You can count on me. But when the soldier showed up, he denied that he knew Jesus. Or a king Saul.

He invited David to the palace. He was all for him until David started getting more attention, more favor. He killed a giant. Now Saul was throwing spears, jealous, trying to take David out. That's why you can't count on people. They can change. It's great when they give you the support, the love, the compliments. Sure, God will have people that are there for you like that loyal, kind, amazing.

But sometimes God pulls them back. You have to recognize what's happening. You're growing up. God's getting you prepared to go to new levels. Where you're going, you can't depend on people. It's between you and God. Second Samuel, David told his staff that he wanted to take a census and see how many people they had.

But God told David specifically to not count the people. One of the commanders said, David, we can't take a census. You know God instructed us not to do it. David insisted, they ended up doing it. But it's interesting that God didn't want them to count. God counted the people when he fed the 5,000, five loaves and two fish. He had them sit in groups of 50. God counted Gideon's men, said, you've got too many. The scripture says God counts the number of hair on our head. It wasn't so much that God didn't want David to count the people. He didn't want David to count on the people.

He didn't want him to rely on the numbers and on do they like me? Do they respect me? Are they for me? Don't count on that because sooner or later a demus will show up. A Saul, a Mordecai that won't give you what you want. If you're counting on people, you'll get distracted trying to win them over and discouraged because they won't do what you want. Are you trying to get something from someone that's never going to give it? Like Haman, frustrating yourself, trying to convince this person to like you, respect you, approve you, take the pressure off. You don't need their approval. Don't lose your focus trying to get from them what God can give. They don't have to be for you.

Their disrespect will not keep you from slaying giants, from taking thrones, from setting new standards. They don't control your destiny. Quit counting on the people and go to God. If you'll do this, I believe and declare God is going to strengthen you, favor you, fight your battles. you will rise higher, accomplish dreams, and become all you were created to be. In Jesus' name.

And if you receive it, can you say amen? I'd like to give you an opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you my Lord and Savior.

If you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got born again. We'd love to send you some free information on your new walk with the Lord. You can text the number on the screen or go to the website, but I hope you'll get into a good Bible-based church and keep God first place. Sometimes in life, people don't choose us. We've all felt overlooked and like we're not good enough. It's easy to live inferior thinking we don't measure up.

People may have left you out. The good news is God has chosen you. He's the one that matters. And in my new book, Chosen, your life is marked for distinction. You'll discover, before you were born, God not only knew you, but he handpicked you and placed a calling on your life. You are equipped and empowered to fulfill your destiny. When you understand that you're chosen, fear and doubt can't stay, you'll live with a boldness to step into the greatness God put in you. I love to send you my new book, Chosen, plus the chosen t-shirt from our friends at Copper.

As our way of saying thank you for your gift of any amount this month, we would like to send you a copy of Joel's book, Chosen. Your life is marked for distinction. In the scriptures, Jesus encouraged us by saying, you didn't choose me. I chose you. This powerful guide will help you discover the abundant life you were designed to live. As a child of God, you have a calling, a purpose, a destiny still to be fulfilled. When you request your copy, we also want to send you our exclusive chosen t-shirt from CopperFit that will remind you that you've been chosen by Almighty God every time you wear it. Please request these gifts today and discover that God is moving on your behalf. Your next days are going to be your best days. You're not average, you're not ordinary, you've been chosen by Almighty God. Victoria and I want you to know how much we love you, we pray for you and your. your family every day. Thanks so much for your prayer and support. Your generosity is helping people

all over the world. A special thank you to our Champion of Hope partners for your monthly gifts. If you're not a partner, I hope you'll consider becoming one. Remember, you can watch the services online live every Sunday morning, download our daily podcast, watch on YouTube, the new Joel Osteen Network, social media, listen on Sirius XM. We'll keep you encouraged and inspired. Until we see you next time, may the Lord bless you and keep you. Be sure to request your copy of Chosen. Your life is marked for distinction, plus our exclusive chosen t-shirt from CopperFit.

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