Joel Osteen Podcast - Taking A Stand For Your Family | Joel Osteen

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

If we want to have strong, healthy families, we have to learn to fight for our loved ones. Don't let strife stop the incredible things God wants to do through your family. Your best days are still ahead, and together we can make a difference in this world with the message of God's hope and love. To give visitJoelOsteen.com/GiveHope.God wants to release His goodness and favor over you. Now is your time to break free from stress and walk fully in His blessing. Our July offer, 55 Ways to Be Blessed and Not Stressed, gives short, powerful readings packed with God’s promises! Request your copy today,  https://bit.ly/4cxwUAz  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of the Joel Osteen Podcast ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry. We believe you're going to have an awesome 2024, healthy, productive, and favor filled. God bless you today and enjoy the message. Well, God bless you. It is always a joy to come into your homes and we come with good news. I know that God is on your side. He rewards people that seek after him. And you wouldn't be watching today if you weren't doing just that. So we know God has great things. in store. I've been saying since the first of this year, 2006 is going to be your best year so far. So you'll be believing that as well. If you're ever in our area, come out and see us. We give

you a personal invitation. We'd love to have you. And thanks for tuning in today. I like to get started each week with something funny. I heard about this man that was very stingy with his money. And just before he died, he made his wife promise that she would have him buried with the $20,000 he had saved. And she reluctantly agreed. Eventually he died. And at the funeral, just before they closed the casket, she slipped in this envelope. Her friend stood there in disbelief. She said, surely, you didn't just put the money in there.

The lady said, of course I did. I'm a Christian. I promised him I would do that. I can't lie. She said, you mean you just buried $20,000? The lady said, I sure did. I wrote a check. All right, hold up your Bible.

Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do. Today I will be taught the Word of God. I boldly confess, my mind is alert, my heart is receptive, I will never be the same.

In Jesus' name, God bless you. I want to talk to you today about taking a stand for your family. I believe one of the greatest attacks that we're facing in this 21st century is not a terrorist attack or a financial, attack, but it's an attack on our homes. There's nothing the enemy would love to ruin anymore than your

relationship with your husband or wife, or your relationship with your children, your sons and daughters. And I see too many homes being destroyed through strife, through lack of commitment, through wrong priorities, through bad attitudes.

And if we're going to have strong, healthy families, we've got to dig our heels in and fight for our families. In the Old Testament here, Nehemiah was rebuilding the walls of his city. They were down, and now the enemy was coming against them, against their homes, their wives, their children. And his men had a hammer in one hand, working on the walls, and a sword in the other hand. And he said to them in Nehemiah 4, verse 14, men, fight for your sons, fight for your daughters, fight for your wives, fight for your families. He went to them. He went to them.

on to say, if you will fight, then God will fight. And I believe God's saying the same thing to each one of us today. If we will do our part and take a strong stand for our families, then God will do his part and help us to have great marriages and great relationships with our children. And in our marriages, there are two things we need to settle first and foremost. Number one, we as a couple are committed to God. We're going to live a life that honors him. We're going to come to church. We're going to read our Bible. We're going to be people of excellence and integrity. The second thing is we as a couple are committed to each other. We may disagree. We may say things we shouldn't. We may pout. We may throw some fits. But when it's all said and done, we're going to get over it. We're going to forgive and

move on. In other words, leaving is not an option. We're committed through the good times and the tough times. We're committed through thick and thin. See, if bailing out of that relationship is an alternative, then you will always find some reason to justify it. Joel, we just can't get along, man. We're not compatible. We've tried and tried. No, the truth is, no two people are really compatible. We have to learn to become one. That means we have to make sacrifices. We have to overlook things. We have to be willing to compromise. Most of the time, when somebody tells you that they're not compatible, what they're really saying is I'm just too selfish. I'm not willing to change. And I see too many people today getting married with the attitude, I'm going to try this out and see if it works.

We'll go a couple of years, and if not, no big deal, I'll find somebody else. No, you'd be much better off to stick with that person and make that marriage work than to go try to make another marriage work. And it'll always look like the grass is greener on the other side. but don't ever forget, it still has to be mowed. You have to put something into that relationship. There is no such thing, no such thing as the perfect spouse. I know Victoria's been up here before and said, oh, Joel, he's the perfect husband.

Don't believe that for a minute. She is calling that by faith. I know I'm good looking, but I'm not perfect. Stick with that man. Stick with that woman. Stay committed. I heard somebody asked Billy Graham's wife if she ever contemplated divorce. She said divorce no, but murder, yes. One lady said my husband and I got married for better or for worse. He couldn't

do any better, and I sure couldn't do any worse. But sometimes we let the smallest, most insignificant things build up and cause us to grow apart. We've got to learn to let these things go. Don't keep a running record of all of your mate's faults, everything they've done wrong. You get into a disagreement? Well, I remember back in 1943 you did this same thing. Get rid of your list. Quit going back to the past. You will never have a healthy relationship as long as you keep bringing up a bunch of negative history. Let it go and start each day a fresh and anew. And when you do have disagreements, learn to disagree from the neck up. Don't let it get down in here. Victoria and I don't always

see eye to eye, but we've learned how to agree to disagree. When you present your case, don't try to make that other person change their mind. Give them the right to have their own opinion. If you're not going to be happy unless they agree with you, then really

what you're doing is trying to manipulate them. You're trying to force your opinion down their throat. A better approach is to present your case, share your heart, and then step back, and allow God to work that person. But as long as we're argumentative and we're trying to force our

opinions, there's going to be strife. And wherever there's strife, there's confusion. There's nothing worse than living in a home that's tense. Everybody's on edge. You feel like at any moment something could explode. No, you don't have to live that way.

Do your best to create an atmosphere of peace and unity in your home. And when you're tempted to say things that you know you shouldn't, maybe you're tempted to pop off and say hurtful critical things. The next time you have that opportunity, do yourself a favor. Take a deep breath. Pause about 10 seconds and think about what you're going to say.

Do you know those words can cut like a knife? It may only take you 15 seconds to say them, but three months later, the person will still be feeling the sting. It's like a burn. If you ever touch the stove, man, you pull your hand off immediately. But weeks and weeks later, it's still bothering you. That's what hurtful, critical words can do. And we should never threaten our spouse with divorce.

It's very unhealthy. I've heard people say, if you ever do that again, I'm out of here. If you don't do this, I'm leaving. No, don't even let those words out into the atmosphere. Your words have created power. When you speak something like that out, you're just giving the enemy a right to bring it to pass.

And the Bible tells us to be angry, and sin not. The truth is, at times, we're all going to get angry. Anger is an emotion God has given us, but we don't have to blow up and say these hurtful things that are going to damage our relationships. Let's learn

to take a step back, collect our thoughts, and think about what we're going to say. I love what my mother did. One time she and my father had gotten into a disagreement, and my dad was kind of put out, and he decided he was going to give my mother the silent treatment. Mother

come through the house and ask him something. And Daddy would answer back in the shortest, most unfriendly way he possibly could. I mean, he was giving her the cold shoulder deluxe. And this went on for an hour or two, and he was doing his best to ignore my mother. Well, my mother finally got tired of it. She's kind of feisty, and she decided to do something about it. So she went and hid behind a door. And she stayed there as still and quiet as she could be.

Well, my father got to looking for her everywhere, couldn't find her anywhere. The more he looked, the more frustrated he got. He said, it's terrible to try to ignore somebody, and you can't even find him. This went on for 10 or 15 minutes, and finally, Daddy started getting kind of worried. He thought, man, maybe the rapture came and I got left behind. About that time, he walked past the door where my mother was, and my mother jumped out on my father's back, wrapped her arms and legs around him, and said, John, I'm not. getting off until you cheer up.

They laugh so much that my father forgot what he was mad about. What's my point? Ladies, you need to start jumping on your husband's back. No, seriously, what I'm saying is to create a fun, loving

atmosphere in your home. These are stressful times. We all get uptight. We all have disagreements, but we should not allow that to linger. Too often we get complacent. Well, I know I shouldn't say this, but I'm mad. I'm going to say it anyway. I know I need to forgive, but I don't feel like it. I'm going to go around pouting for a couple of weeks.

Little by little, the relationship gets worse and worse. But if we're going to have strong, happy marriages, we have to fight for that marriage. And I want to sound the alarm while there's still time to do something about it. Don't allow strife in your home. Don't play these petty games. Don't go around with bad attitudes. Do whatever it takes to keep the peace. Victoria and I have been married going on 20 years now. And we don't agree on every single thing. But one thing I can tell you is we are committed to each other. We're committed to our family. We're committed to our children.

And any differences, we're going to work through them. I've known people, they're committed while they're dating. They're committed the first couple years of marriage. They're committed while everything's rosy. But how about when the sizzle wears off, so to speak, and you're not in Never, Never Land? in love. Now instead of that man romancing you, you're having to pick up

his dirty socks. You're having to wash his smelly workout clothes. That takes commitment. For some of you, it takes real commitment. Or men, how about when you were dating? She always looked perfect, dressed to a tea. You never saw her without her makeup. Now you wake up in the morning and you think, who is that

woman over there? But marriage is a commitment, not a feeling. I heard a true story about a president of a very prestigious university. He was an older gentleman, very well-respected leader. Later in his life, his wife developed Alzheimer's. And unfortunately, month after month, it continued to get worse. Several years down the road, it got so bad that she could not even recognize her husband anymore. This man was well to do, had plenty of people taken care of her. But one day he went in and

announced to the board of the university that he was going to resign so he could spend his full, time taking care of his wife. And man, they just couldn't understand it. They tried to talk him out of it. They told him how needed he was. One board member spoke up and said, why would you even want to do this? She doesn't even know who you are. He looked at him and said, listen, I made a commitment to this woman over 50 years ago. And she may not know who I am, but I know who she is. And that's the kind of commitment that we need to have. And men, God is going to hold us responsible to keep our families together. The word husband comes from a Latin word

which means house band. Think of a rubber band that keeps something together. That's what the husband is supposed to do. And Solomon is a great example for us men. He was the wisest men that ever lived. You know what he did when he got up every morning?

He blessed his wife. He looked her in the eyes and said, there are many beautiful women in the world, but you excel them all. He's started his day off by praising and encouraging his wife. Men, you can imagine how our relationships would improve if we'd start complimenting our wives like that. I know some ladies, they hadn't had a compliment in 10 years. All they hear about is what they're doing wrong, how the dinner wasn't any good, the kids are being too loud. Now, that's out of balance. Take inventory of what

you're saying to your spouse. Are you complaining all the time, telling them what they're not doing right? Or are you doing like Solomon? Blessing, encouraging, uplifting that man, that woman? I heard somebody say that compliments are like the glue that hold a relationship together. We all go through difficult times, but if our spouse knows how much we appreciate them and love them, then it's going to make it a lot easier to get through those difficulties. And Solomon wrote a book in the Bible. It's called The Song of Solomon. It's a love story, eight chapters long. And in those eight chapters, he praised his wife 40 different times. He was constantly talking about her strength, her beauty, her intelligence.

Well, you say, Joel, you don't know my wife. She's the problem. She's argumentative. She's hard to get along with. No, let me tell you, men, if you start praising your wife, if you start telling her how beautiful she is and how glad you are to have her in your life, when you talk about the good, you'll draw out the good. You talk about the negative, you'll draw out the negative.

It's up to each one of us. Every day we should be saying, I appreciate you being so kind. And you know what? You're a great mother to our children. I'm so glad I can always count on you. Men, speak the blessing over your wife, and you'll see that lady rise to a new level.

Most people, all they need is a little encouragement, a little praise. And I've found if you'll treat your wife like a queen, then she'll make you the king. And men, we have to understand our wife needs our blessing. She needs our approval. Well, Joel, I'm just not a real romantic kind of guy.

I just don't get into all those gooey things. No, this is not an option. It's a necessity if you're going to have a healthy marriage. Just like Solomon, we've got to get in a habit in the morning looking at your wife and say, man, you are beautiful. I'm glad you're in my life. There's a lot of pretty girls, but you excel them all. Just like you brush your teeth in the morning,

you need to speak the blessing over your wife. Too many women today are beaten down. depressed, lonely, insecure, low self-esteem, all because the husband is not giving her what God requires of him. The Bible says the wife is a reflection of the man's glory. If Victoria got up here all beaten down and depressed, hairs messed up, clothes aren't ironed, well, me as the husband, I have the problem. She's reflecting my glory. I need to examine my life. I should ask myself, hey, am I treating her right? Am I making her secure? Does she know I'm proud of her

that I think she's the best? Men on a regular basis, we need to look at our wives and see if they're reflecting our glory. Your wife should be strong, confident, secure, beautiful, radiant, healthy. You should see it in her smile. You should see it

in the way she carries herself. I remember I used to play basketball with this guy and every time after the game was over he said, well, Joel, I got to go home and see my old lady. talking about his wife. And I used to think, if you talk about your wife like that, you must not think too much of yourself, because she's reflecting your glory. I'd always smile and say, well, I'm going to go home and see Queen Victoria.

She's the queen of our house. And guess what? Since I've made her the queen, that makes me the king, and I kind of like that. The scripture says, because Solomon praised his wife, his children rose up and blessed her as well. In other words, words, when the husband praises and blesses the wife, the children are going to follow. Men, we're setting an example. How we treat our wives is going to have a great impact on how our children respect and honor their mother. Your voice tones, your body language, all those things are being subconsciously taken in by your children. Here's the thing, dads, your daughter is going to marry somebody just like you. That's what all the

studies tell us, we tend to marry people like our parents. If you're hard and disrespectful, you go around saying rude, hurtful things to your spouse, don't be surprised if your daughter gravitates towards somebody just like that. What this tells me is I need to treat my wife the way I want somebody to treat my daughter. Ladies, you need to treat your husbands the way you want somebody to treat your sons. Men open the car door for your wife. Take her coffee in the morning, go out of your way to show respect. I heard somebody say, if a man ever opens the car door for his wife, he's either got a new car or a new wife. But we need to get back to the good old days of respect and honor. Well, you say, Joel, if I do that, my friends may look at me as being

kind of weak. They may give me a hard time. Let me tell you, you need to get some new friends because those are weak friends. A real man can open the car door for his wife. And here's the thing. Being male doesn't necessarily make you a man. Taking care of your family makes you a man. Watching over your children makes you a man. Speaking the blessing over your wife, that makes you a real man. You may not have been raised in this kind of environment,

but you can set a new standard. You can raise the bar. Men, we're only going to go as high as how we treat our wives. And if we're treating them as second class, that's going to keep us from being everything God's created. us to be. And it's interesting in reproduction. The father is the one that gives the child

identity. The female has two X chromosomes. The male has an X and a Y. If the father gives the female an X, it'll be a baby girl. He gives a Y, it'll be a boy. But the female has no power to determine the sex of the baby.

The child's identity comes solely through the father. What am I saying? Fathers, we need to make especially sure that we affirm our children. We have incredible influence over them. And every day, just like we bless our wife, we need to be blessing our children. Look at that child and say, you know what, I'm proud of you. I think you're great. There's nothing that you can't do. Your children need your approval. You're helping them to form their identity. And if we're too busy as fathers, we're never there,

or maybe we're just always correcting our children without ever showing them this other side, then our children are not going to be as confident and secure as they should be. And I know there are times when the father can't be there, there are other responsibilities, but fathers, I'm asking us to do our best to keep our priorities in order. No amount of success in our career is going to make up for failure at home. And I've seen some men that do great things in the corporate world. They're great business leaders. And listen, I'm all for that, but they've done.

it at the expense of their children. Their children grew up without a father figure. No, fathers, be involved in your child's life. Bring them to church. Be at their ball games. Know who their friends are. Listen to what they're listening to on their iPods. Children are looking for direction and guidance. That young man comes over to take your daughter out on a date, you should be the first one at the door. Let him know there's a man in the house that's watching after that young lady. parents we have to fight for our children. If we will fight, then God will fight. A friend of mine growing up, this friend growing up,

he told me as a teenager that he had a drug problem. I thought that was strange. He seemed like a good kid. I knew him very well. I didn't look like he was on drugs. He said, yeah, Joel, every Sunday, my parents drugged me to church. They drugged me to Sunday school.

They drugged me to Bible study. And he said, you know what? Those drugs are still in my vein. They affect everything that I say and do. He went on to say, this world would be a better place if everybody had those kinds of drugs. What he was saying was, my parents took time for me. They poured into my life.

Years ago, at the largest game reserve in South Africa, they discovered that the elephants were overpopulated. There wasn't enough room for them all. And so they decided to take 300 of the youngest male elephants and separate them from their parents, from the other adults, and they sent them a couple hundred miles away to another national park. And the dominant animal at this national park was the white rhinoceros. And the rhinoceros has no natural enemies. Nothing stocks it, not a lion, a tiger, a bear. It's too powerful. And so they thought there would be no problem mixing the elephants in there.

But over time, they began to find these dead rhinos out in the brush. They couldn't understand what was happening. So they set up some surveillance cameras, and much to their surprise, they found that those young male elephants, the ones that no longer had a father figure, a mother figure, they had formed gangs, and they had gone in there and started killing the rhinoceros, which is not even in the elephant's nature. It's not even in the elephants God-given instincts to act that way. And I believe that's the same thing that happens to our children. Many times, the reason our children get off course and teenagers do things that they shouldn't is because they don't have any positive role models in their life giving them any kind of guidance. They don't

have anybody speaking the blessing. They don't have a father figure. It doesn't mean that they're bad children. It's just when they're left without this guidance, any of us can do things that are not even in our nature. I don't know if you realize today, but half of the children being raised are in fatherless homes. 50% do not have a father figure in their life. And if you're a single parent mom in here, I know that God's going to give you the grace and the strength to do what you need to do.

But I'm asking the fathers today to rise up and become the man that God's created you to be. Where are the fathers that will make a difference? Where are the fathers that will take time and make sacrifices to pour into that child? child's life. Don't take the easy way out, man, and just be a career man and make your wife do all the parenting. Your child needs you. You have something to give that only the father can give that child. And really, all of us who are healthy fathers, we have a responsibility to reach out to other

children that don't have a father figure. We should all be mentoring a young man, mentoring a young woman. If you really want to be blessed, don't just fight for your family. fight for somebody else's family. Stand in the gap for that single parent mom. When you take your son out to hit baseballs, swing by and pick up that young man that doesn't have a father figure. Or when you go camping with your family, ask that single mom if she and her children want to go along. Dads reach out to some other child, help them to discover their identity. I have a good friend that grew up in a very dysfunctional home. Her father was never around, and her mother had plenty of problems on her own.

And this young lady as a teenager was basically raising her younger brother. And on the inside, she was crying out for help. One day a friend of hers at school mentioned that her father owned a fast food restaurant and maybe he would give her a job. She went up there and that gentleman not only gave her a job,

but he took her under his wing. He began to watch after her. He made sure she changed the oil in her car, made sure she was doing okay in school, on and on. He didn't even realize it, but he became the father figure that she had so longed for. Years later, when this young lady went to get married, father's still not around. At the wedding, you know who gave her away? The man from the fast food restaurant.

See, he took time to care. He fought not only for his family, he fought for somebody else's child. That's what I'm asking you to do today. Don't be passive. Don't be too busy. Don't be indifferent. Get involved in somebody else's life. Friends, our homes are under attack today. Where are the fathers that will stand up? Where are the mothers that will be a great example? Where are the couples that will stick together? Let me challenge you, fight for your marriage. Fight for your sons. Fight for your daughters.

Keep the strife out of your home. And stick with that person that God has given you. If you will stay committed to each other and committed to God, there is nothing that you cannot overcome as a couple. Learn to be free with your compliments. Speak the blessing over your wife, over your husband, over your children, and then take it one step further. So a seed and mentor a young man, mentor a young lady. If you do this, I know you'll not only have a great marriage, but your children will go further. Your family will grow stronger. and I believe you'll live the life of victory God has in store. Do you receive it today? I know you do.

We never like to close our broadcast without giving you an opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you pray with me? Just say, Lord Jesus, I repent of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you, my Lord and Savior. Friends, if you prayed that simple prayer, we believe you got born again. Get in a good Bible-based church. God first place. He's going to take your places you've never dreamed out. Sometimes the stresses of life can feel like you're just getting by. God wants to bless us, but how do you move from barely enough to just enough to more than enough? We all face difficulties and people that are hard to deal with. You can't eliminate all the stress, but if you'll handle it the right way, you don't have to live stressed out.

And much of our frustration is we're trying to control things that we can't control, letting things stress us that don't have to. I'd love to send you my new book, 55 ways to be blessed and not stressed. I'll show you practical things you can do to live more peaceful and enjoy each day. You can move from stressed to blessed and fully realize God's goodness, favor, and blessings. As our way of saying thank you for your gift of any amount to the ministry this month, Joel and Victoria would like to send you this powerful, life-transforming resource,

55 ways to be blessed and not stressed. With this book, you'll not just see one pathway forward, but 55 powerful, life-changing ways to kill the stress and give life to a life of blessing. These 55 promises will open God's floodgates and release double the impact of his divine direction, opportunity, and blessing every day. Now expect, declare, and receive a blessed, not stressed, over the top outpouring in your life.

How much time are you spending worried, upset, and frustrated? Life is too short to live stressed. If you'll make some simple adjustments, you can live blessed and not stressed. Victoria and I want you to know we're praying for you, that you'll experience peace and joy and see your dreams come to pass. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. Your generosity is impacting lives all over the world. Remember, you can watch the services online Sunday mornings,

download our daily podcast, listen on SiriusXM, YouTube, social media. But until we meet again, may the Lord bless you and keep you. Be sure to request your copy of 55 ways to be blessed and not stressed today. Visit Joelosteen.com or call 888-567 Joel.