Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - A Mary Christmas: Karen Edition

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

In the fourth episode of our holiday series, things take an unexpected turn as we chat with a 'Karen' from a bookshop! She shares her top book picks for Christmas presents and we decide to spice things up by pulling off a hilarious prank on our work reception.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the latest episode in the season number one of We Wish You a Merry Christmas, critically acclaimed season two. It's been a lot of fun so far, isn't it? Talking to a different Mary each day, wishing them a Merry Christmas, finding out what they want to do next year and hopes and dreams. Now, Mary Death we spoke to, she was a celebrant and also a funeral director. What do you call those? Funeral, yeah.

Yeah. Funeral. I guess it is a celebrant. Yeah, it feels weird to say celebrant, doesn't it? Oh, I guess you're celebrating someone's life. You're right. There we go. Spoke to Mary Turner, real estate agent.

She was wonderful. She said it's a great time to buy. She's a real estate agent. It's always a great time to buy. And then we spoke to Mary and her real estate agent. She was wonderful. She said it's a great time to buy. She's a real estate agent. It's always a great time to buy. And then we spoke to Mary and her partner Robbie yesterday. They've been on a big jaunt for a year with a toddler in a caravan around the country. Yeah, it was awesome, eh? They said they wouldn't do it again.

But they had a good time. But they had, yeah, an amazing one of those things to do, right? They were lovely. Yeah, they were lovely, yeah. I haven't even done it, but I already know I wouldn't do it again. But what an amazing thing to do with the kids, you know? You can remember that forever. Forever.

For me right now, I couldn't think of nothing worse than doing it with my two little kids. Right, yeah. They'd be an absolute punish. We went on a campervan trip at the start of the year and loved it, loved it. Your kids are older. Yeah, my kids are a little bit older. Yeah, the kids loved it too. And it gets to a stage where the kids probably won't want to hang out with you for a week either.

They'll be the ones saying no. How far away do you think you are from that? Well, I imagine it's probably over the next couple of years. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be like holidays become more of a thing they want to do with their friends. You know, still want to hang out with, you know. That's freaking heartbreaking.

It is. So if you want to do your camper van trip, you can do it sooner rather than later. That's for sure. Yeah. Definitely before. Well, you want them sort of, you take yourself to the toilet age. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what you want. Do they take themselves to the toilet now? I forget what they do under five. Yeah, Basti. Basti does. Yeah. Generally makes it.

Aya, not so much. Andrew, your husband. Yeah. Is he all right? Generally takes himself to the toilet, yeah. Generally speaking, you take yourself to the toilet? Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

Okay. Half in the odd occasion. Once you hit that good age. So we're going to phone to Mary today. Well, I understand this Mary's in Matakana. Oh, lovely. Just north of Auckland. North there.

From a bookshop. I reckon I know the bookshop, actually. Morning, Matakana Village Books. Karen speaking. Oh, g'day, Karen. We're after Mary. Sorry? We're after Mary.

Mary Liz isn't in the shop until Wednesday. Oh. But we can reach her by email today. She's working from home. Oh. It's Jono, Ben and Megan from the Hits radio station. We're doing a thing called a podcast called Merry Christmas, talking to different Marys before Christmas.

And, yeah, I mean, as much as you sound lovely, Karen, you're not merry. Can we change the rules to be a Karen Christmas? Oh, look, Karens need to do anything they can to regain their name. Yeah, I feel like... Shame brought upon our name.

I know, do you feel bad as a Karen? Look, I've got a wonderful friend and his name is Karen and I feel really bad every time someone goes, oh, they're a Karen. I'm like, well,

Karen's a lovely person. We are. We just know our rights. We do, you know, and... Also, how dare people shame women for standing up for themselves? Maybe we need to do that more often. Maybe we should be more like Karens. Exactly.

I'm not fond of the hairdo that they attach to most people. The Karen do. The bob. Yeah. Whatever it is. But yes. I'm sorry that you missed Mary Liz. Were you going to offer her a fabulous prize?

No, the prize of being on a podcast that people may or may not listen to. To be honest, probably. It's what every bookseller wants at this time of the year. Well, actually,

speaking of books, heading into Christmas. It is. Yeah, okay, what's some of the books off your top of your head, three books that we should

be getting for Christmas? You should be giving people John Boyne's Fire, if they've read the other two that came before it. Haven't, haven't, but I'm sure it's great.

What else would you like, what you should be reading? Possibly The Glassmaker by Tracey Chevalier. She wrote Girl with a Pearl Earring many years ago. Oh, yeah, I've heard of that one. And New Zealand author Carl Schuker, his latest book's called The Royal Free.

His earlier book's called A Mistake, which has just been made into a film Starring Elizabeth Banks Ah yes, ah yeah One of our regular customers who bought the books here And then was inspired to make the film Wow There's an extra plug for Matakana

So the writer of the movie comes to visit you Yes, she lives locally She read the book and she was like This should be a movie. Correct, and now it is a movie. You've got a rich history there. We're very influential. For the lack of Mary, you've really made up for it, Karen.

Oh, thank you. Improving the Karen reputation, you know, left, right and centre. How many books do you reckon you've read over your lifetime, Karen? Well, I read a lot more when I was a librarian. I've read less as a bookseller, but I don't know, really. I wish I could read more. My problem is I start things and then Mary Liz gives me a reading copy of one that's coming out.

I'm like, oh, that looks great. So I stop what I'm reading and pick up the next one. So I've got many half-read, but none. If you sat down and committed to, you know, your standard novel, how long would it take you to get through it? Do you reckon? I'm not a fast reader. I do get distracted. I have to really be grabbed by a book.

I'm not very good at pursuing, persevering rather. It's not something that's grabbing my attention. I knocked off John Boyne's Fire in the morning the other day. Oh, morning! Get out of here! No, no, don't get excited.

It's just a slim novella, so it's not the size of War and Peace or anything. That's still very impressive, though. Okay, can you judge a book by its cover? Because I feel like you can. You can. And people do. How does the book industry feel about the audiobook? Is that reading or is that cheating?

Oh, no, it's not cheating. And especially if you don't use Audible, because that's Amazon, boo-hiss, use Libro.fm or Auckland Libraries. They're at Libby, which has audio on it. They are both great, but yeah, Audible is, you know, making a pact with the devil, really. Oh, really?

You're reading the devil's literature. A portion of royalties go to the authors still, whereas with Amazon, with Audible, Oh, really? You're reading the devil's literature. Oh, I did not know that. Okay. Wow, you were learning some stuff about the book industry. And what about the old Kindles? How are we feeling about that? Well, I mean, they're out there.

I mean, they have their place. And, you know, people who read a lot or travel or whatever, you're not going to take five giant new releases away in your suitcase, are you? But it certainly hasn't affected sales, I would say. Yeah, well, I think people like the books, right? They work alongside each other, and people often come in and buy a book or something they've read on their Kindle, which they really want to keep. You know what I'm going to do, Karen? No, you're not going to read it.

There's a wonderful saying from Stephen Fry about Kindles, about e-books. You're right. Stephen Fry said they're no more of a threat to books than escalators are to stairs. Oh, yeah. He's a smart human being, Stephen Fry, isn't he? I trot that one out all the time. Karen, you know what I'm going to do? What are you going to do?

I'm going to write a movie about this conversation. It's going to be a trilogy. That no one's going to buy. We'll stock it. We'll stock it, yeah. Oh, well, it's been lovely talking to you. We need a, like, a Karen Christmas or something. We wish you a Karen Christmas.

We wish you a Karen Christmas. We wish you a Karen Christmas. And a Karen New Year. Just us singing that one. Oh, thank you very much. It's my Monday mate. Oh, well, lovely to talk to you. You have a great Christmas Year. Just us singing that one. Thank you very much. It's my Monday mate. Oh, well, lovely to talk to you. You have a great Christmas.

Okay, you too, guys. See you. See you, Karen. Okay, bye. What do you reckon, guys? Do we bang this one? Is it one? Is it one for the books,

so to speak? I think she was like, you know, standing in for Mary. Yeah, she did. Do you feel like we need to get a Mary or is that? Have we broken format too much? Yeah, like it was great.

We quickly try and get a Mary to end this. What do broken format too much? Yeah, like, it was great. We could quickly try and get a Mary to end this. What do you think? What was wrong with Karen? Karen was great. No, she wouldn't be there. We needed just a quick little... She was an honourable Karen. Like a Mary just at the end here.

Or then that Mary's going to feel like she's just taken. Call reception here. Call reception here at work and say, can you post through to Mary? Oh. And then... Is there a Mary at work? Oh, that's going to make us look like jerks, though.

Do you work here? Oh, sorry. a Mary? I thought that was going to make us look like jerks, though. Do your work here. Oh, sorry. Okay, so what? Put us through to Mary. Good morning, this is my reception. This is Millie. Hey, it's John and Megan here. Hey, Millie.

Can you put us through to Mary, please? This is reception. Yeah, no, can you put us through to Mary? Can you connect us through to Mary, please? This is reception. Yeah, no, can you put us through to Mary? Can you connect us to Mary? Mary. Mary. Mary. Just any Mary.

Just any Mary. Mary. Hang on. Thank you. Thank you. Anyone coming up for you, Mary? No. No Marys?

Do we not have any Marys? No Hey, take two here, Millie Take two Okay, we're going to call you back Just answer the phone and go Hi, Mary speaking, okay? Just we need to put an end to this podcast

We'll call you straight back Okay, here we go Who are you calling? Mary, I think. All right. Hello, Mary. Hey, Mary. We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Have a great Christmas, Mary. Thank you. You guys as well. Great talking to you. There we go. We've done it.

Guys, we've done it. Close the loop. Close the loop on that one. Back tomorrow with an actual Mary. Have a great day.