Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 01 - It's Our Favourite Day Of The Year - April Fools Day!

Episode Date: April 1, 2021

It's our favourite day of the year - April Fools Day! Today Producer B Humps tried to set up Jono & Ben with stories from people known for weird and wonderful things, where we spoke with a lady from the UK who is addicted to eating bricks. Plus we also spoke with Nurse Jenny from Invercargill, infamous for looking after UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson. We also chat with American actor Michael Peña about his involvement in the new Tom & Jerry movie. Plus, Jono has a shocker in today's 5 Words for $5,000. Have an amazing extra long weekend.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy-o. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to Thursday the 1st of April. It's April Fool's today, Ben.

I was actually going to do some April Fool's pranks on you. Oh, were you? Well, yesterday on the podcast intro, you spoke of your disdain of the commercialism of... It's a commercial thing, isn't it? to do some April Fool's pranks on you. Oh, were you? Well, yesterday on the podcast intro, you spoke of your disdain of the commercialism of... It's a commercial thing, isn't it? You know, April Fool's. April Fool's, yeah. You're a much-loved prank.

I've been pranking for many years, but you feel that... I don't need to be told. I don't need to be dictated to when I should prank. You know, the pranks, the whole thing about prankers is they're unexpected. Yeah. And, you know, April Fool's is all about the expectation of it, you know? Yeah, you're almost waiting for it. Yeah, which makes no sense because if anything slightly obscure happens,

then you're like, well, it's April Fool's. Like today here in New Zealand, the minimum wage has gone up to $20. And you're like, well, is that an April Fool's prank? It's Jacinda, our Prime Minister, pranking us. I feel sorry for, like, you know, people get a parking ticket today. They'll be like, oh, April Fool's. You know, like people just going about their jobs would just be like, oh, is this an April Fool's prank or is it not?

So, yeah. I was going to prank you, but they were just going to be low level ones. So, can we reenact them now? Okay. Pretend I've rung you. Ring, ring. Hello. Hey, Ben, it's me, mate.

Yeah. Hey, I can't come into work today. I'm a bit sick. Oh, okay. That's not good. It'd get better. Just kidding. I'm at work. Oh, was that the prank's not good. Get better. Just kidding. I'm at work. Oh, was that the prank? That was the prank.

Okay. And then I had another one. Ring, ring. Hello? Hey, mate. It's me. Hey, Jono. What's up? Hey, I just forgot my swipe card. I'm just stuck outside. Oh, come around and get you. Hang on a second. No, no. It's okay. I've actually got my swipe card. Okay. So that was the... Okay. I see. Well, I'm glad we didn't do this.

But I'm glad we got to reenact them. But you fell for them. You fell for them. Well, I didn't. I just was, well, yeah. Anyway, today on the podcast. This is why he's got to stain any pranking today he hates. Today, a really interesting podcast today for you because we played a game based around

April Fools where producer Ben, B Humps, as we like to call him. With his lovely manly lumps. He got us some people on the phone and one was telling the truth and one was telling a lie, and we had to work out which was the truth and which was the lie. Who was April fooling us. And some amazing stories. Someone who claimed to eat bricks. Someone who claimed to save a world leader's life.

Someone who claimed that they were stuck in the forest for three weeks and survived purely on their breast milk. And someone who claimed to bake the cake for Megan and Harry. Who was fooling us? You'll find out in the podcast. I can't wait to hear it. And I was there! Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two.

Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now today is April Fool's Day and we thought we'd do something a little bit different. Producer Humphries, you've been working behind the scenes. You've been running around. You look like you're doing cardio at work. Yes, well, no, yesterday I didn't go to the gym.

I was like, jeez, well, you made up for it between 6 and 7 this morning. He's just been doing laps of NZ me all morning. Do we need to drug test you? We are crossing time zones. Oh, he's crossing time zones. So this morning, being April Fool's, we're going to play a little game, and you can play along as well, 4487 on the text.

You've got two people on the phone right now. One is telling the truth and one is telling a lie, and which one is basically trying to April Fool's us? Yeah, that's right. So you've got to decide who you want to chat to. Okay, and you can play along with this game too in your car and text 4487. One of these statements is true, one of these is false.

Hello, you're trying to April fool us? Hello. Hello, what's your story? What sort of rubbish are you trying to spin this morning? Well, yeah, what's this? Okay, my name's Patrice and I eat bricks. Your name's Patrice and you eat bricks,

did you say? Yeah. As in, bricks that you would use to build a house. Yeah. And you eat these?

Mm-hmm. Okay, so that's, how do you, oh, okay, I've got one more, one more question.

You're going to get one more question, yeah? Are you just like, are you chipping them off and eating them in little bits or are you taking bites out of them? You couldn't bite into a brick, could you? I take chips.

I use a tool. It might be a knife or a screwdriver. And I dig out my walls and I eat it, basically. Okay, okay. We've got a brick eater here. Yeah, it seems like an April Fool's to me, but we'll find out. You hold there, Patrice, and we'll go to Izzy. Izzy, try and April Fool us.

Hi. Hi, you two, take it away. So, as you said, my name is Izzy, and I baked a cake for Megan and Harry. When? Back in 2018. What, for their wedding? Yes.

Oh, not just like a cake. They're like, Izzy, make me a cake. You're like, okay. Okay, so you were actually like the wedding cake maker for their wedding. Yes, that's correct.

How many tears was it? Sorry, what was that? How many tears was it? It was about three tears. Three tears. Okay, all right. It was made out of lemon and elderflower. And did you deal directly with the happy couple

who turns out they weren't so happy? So I did deal with them eventually. They obviously didn't do any of the ordering or anything. But they did come in to the store. Prior to them arriving, we did have police show up, which was a very interesting experience. They did a full sweep. And then Harry and Meghan came in.

They did some tasting and tried the cake and all that kind of stuff. Okay. And, yeah, they were on their way. A lot of detail there. A lot of detail. Hold there. Hold there. Now we've got to decide, and you can join us, New Zealand,

which is telling the truth and which is not. Who's trying to April Fool's us? Okay. We've got someone who eats bricks and someone who made a cake for Megan and Harry. I'm leaning towards Megan and Harry, only because of the amount of detail. What being true? Well, it seems like it. Yeah. I don't know how you digest bricks. Okay, so

4487 on the text. Now we have Patrice. Patrice, just quickly, you claimed what before? That I eat bricks. That she eats bricks. As in bricks. As in bricks. As in bricks, yeah.

As in what you think bricks is what producers say. Like bricks that a house is made out of. And Izzy, you claimed? I baked the wedding cake for Adam and Megan. For Adam and Megan? Our Hawke's Bay breakfast show? On the hits? Oh, okay.

Because before it was Megan and Harry, which leads me to believe, I was going to say that I believed you that you had baked. Most people were saying that they believed the cake story was true. I was believing the cake story was true until she name-checked Adam and Megan, our Hawke's Bay hits breakfast show. So I'm going to go out on a whim here Until she name-checked Adam and Megan now, Hawke's Bay hits breakfast. I didn't know.

So I'm going to go out on a whim here and say that you didn't bake a cake for Megan and Harry? No. All right, you had a lot of detail. Too much detail. I bet you got the names wrong. Oh, no. It's all right. You're a good liar, though. I was believing you up until then.

Yeah. Hey, which means... Shut up means Thank you so much Izzy Appreciate that Which means Izzy was trying to April Fool's us Patrice You eat You eat bricks

Yep I do Where are you in the world? That's what I'm known for South London You're in South London Oh wow Nice to talk to you Yeah UK

Wow Yeah you too So when did Well this is a lot to take in When did this happen Like how did this start It started When I was a kid

You know Some children You know Have bad habits Sort of Peek out You know You can eat different things

Like carpet And soap And that sort of thing Oh you know Your classic childhood snacks Yeah things like carpet and soap and that sort of thing. Oh, you know, your classic childhood snacks. Maybe a bit of sand from time to time or something like that. Yeah, but yeah, and you just thought you'd start eating a bit of brick. Yeah, it was, my auntie and uncle, they, when they were kids, you know, sometimes you get wet and tear in the wall.

So they stuck their fingers in there and licked it and then my grandma told me about it. It was a family conversation and I decided to take a step further and try it out myself and then I couldn't stop. I was digging chunks out the walls and damaging my grandmother's walls.

You're literally eating her out of house and home. Yep, I've heard it all I'm shitting bricks Am I allowed to say that? Well you haven't, it was better coming from you than us That's for sure Are you eating bricks every day?

This is a part of your diet, your food pyramid Well I literally came out about it publicly 2014 So since then I really tried to cut back Well, I literally came out about it publicly in 2014. So since then, I really tried to cut back, and I did cut back a lot. But unfortunately, I haven't cut it out completely. You're talking like the cigarettes. I've been trying to knock it on the head.

I mean, the craving is the same. That's the only way I can describe it. Well, good on you for talking out about it, because I imagine that's a very brave thing to do, to come out and to tell people about it. It just seems like you've got a good sense I can describe it. Well, good on you for talking out about it because I imagine it's a very brave thing to do to come out and to tell people about it. It just seems like you've got a good sense of humour about it. What do they taste like? Oh, gosh.

A bit earthy, sandy, sort of, you know. If you were to compare it to a food, a flavour of food, what would it be closest to? Oh, gosh. Probably crackers mixed with breadcrumbs. Really? Now, obviously, this is not recommending... Very dry.

Anyway, we're not recommending this at all. And it can't be good for you, surely. It's not. But, you know, it is funny how much the human body can actually endure. Well, mine in particular. No, the human body can endure so much. I mean it hasn't affected me

I think the only thing that has happened to me was you know it kind of worked as a laxative and without getting too personal

how does it how does it digest and pass through well it it turns to crumbs I can't describe it I mean it's

sort of it's very crumb mean, it's sort of... It's very crumbly, and you get, like, tiny bits of stone and glass in it, but it's so small. I mean... And you're going to continue to eat bricks? As I said, you know, an addiction is an addiction, you know, however strange it is, you know.

I've tried to stop, and I've cut back much more than what I used to do because it was a daily thing. Wow. And it was getting out of hand. But, yeah, I still do it. I've got the same problem with Heinekens. Yeah.

Oh, well, thank you so much. It would be a lot more safer with that. I really appreciate you talking to us. And, yeah, take care of yourself and good luck trying to cut back on your brickiesing. Oh, no worries. It's a pleasure. Thank you for to us. Take care of yourself and good luck trying to cut back on your brick eating. No worries. It's a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Now, there's a new toy that my kids have got. And, you know, the fidget spinners were a thing for a little bit. Sometimes I think toy manufacturers give their designers the brief of, can you invent the world's most aggravating toy, just to torture hardworking parents.

Yeah, I guess the fidget spinners were pretty quiet. And this one, you know, I'm going to start going, oh, it's annoying. And people go, well, it hardly makes any noise. So it's basically, it's the pop-it fidget toy. It's called pop-it fidget toy. And it's basically this, it's kind of like popping bubble wrap. It's a little thing you just basically, can you hear it? Oh, yeah, I can hear.

The good thing about those. It's quite satisfying and you just keep, basically you just pop, you're basically just popping bubbles. It's like a little plastic thing. And just imagine it's kind of like a plastic version of a rubbery, plasticky version of, I think it's rubber actually, of bubble wrap. And you just basically go, it's satisfying when you've got it. I prefer bubble wrap because you can chuck it in the ocean

after you've done with it. It's a more versatile material. It's like having a water pistol or any of those things when you've got your recorder. When you've got it, it's great. But when everyone else is just like, oh, stop. And all I get constantly is just when the kids are sitting there, they're just constantly just popping.

Popping that. Poppy's got a microphone at the moment. She got given for her birthday. It's like, oh, stop. And all I get constantly is just when the kids are sitting there, they're just constantly just popping. Popping that. Poppy's got a microphone at the moment. She got given for her birthday. She wanted a microphone. And I love just getting my hands on the microphone. Oh, you would too. Just wrapping my mouth around it.

And when you've got a novel... It's a hits shuttle event. Here we go. Not often you get to see radio done live, kids. But you always wrap your mouth around it and it always ends up distorting, you know, when you've got a novelty microphone Mate you should have The best microphone technique

Out of all the family I know We're meant to double fist it Aren't we Yeah like two Two fist is away from the thing Yeah Double that's

Yeah sorry That would mean Your mouth's away from the microphone Yeah but so last night I was trying to watch TV And I had Sienna was sitting next to me One of my daughters

And so she was basically Popping This thing like this And I was like Okay don't say one of my daughters and so she was basically popping this thing like this and I was like, okay, don't say anything but once you start, it's in your head, you're like,

I can't. It gets louder and louder. I can't not hear it. I'm trying to watch TV. I turn the TV up and then I had, Indy was on, there's a piano in our lounge.

We got given for free and so she's playing the piano like this. So you've got the popping going on and then the dog had his toy and this was the toy I spoke about the other day which is the most annoying dog toy ever. This is all going at once.

You can imagine that. So let's try and imagine this. This is my lounge last night. So let's see if we can do this, Millennial Max. Dog toy, piano, and I'll try and pop that at the same time. It's really drowning out the popping sound. But that was it. That was it.

And you're just like... That was the soundtrack to your evening. I had to give up and just turn the TV off and be like, I'm done. I'm done. Were you watching the TV as well? I was trying to watch the TV. I was like, I can't do this anymore. You know when you keep turning the volume up and you're like,

at that point, you're like, it's done. It's over. I mean, dogs and children have a great knack of not giving a crap about what anyone else is doing. Just focusing on what they're doing. So, I mean, Indy, all she could hear was the piano. All Sienna could hear was the popping and the dog. He was just happy to be there.

Exactly. Chewing whatever he... What was he chewing on? It's a weird chicken toy. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this.

Sorry you've been dragged into this. Jono and Penn. Breakfast on the Heads. The you've been dragged into this. Jono and Penn breakfast on the heads. The heads. The heads. Now we spoke it was a Monday or Tuesday about a crime

you were committing upon presents where you were you're in the heated debate at the moment with your wife whether you can sell a present on Trade Me

that you were given. Yeah. Piece of art. A piece of art not for me and I'm like I appreciate the gesture lovely sentiment but yeah I was like I could appreciate the gesture, lovely sentiment, but yeah,

I was like, well, I could put it on trade and get some money for it. Or you could just keep it in your house, let it gather in dust and then display it when that person comes over. That's the other option, right? Yeah, that's the Kiwi way, but you won that vote, so people said you're well within your rights to sell that present. But according to

certain members of my whanau, aka my mother, Annie Pryor, I've committed a heinous crime upon But according to certain members of my whānau, a.k.a. my mother Annie Pryor, I've committed a heinous crime upon present giver. Oh, have you? Yeah, because she lives in Christchurch. So she had left something for one of their friends that she wanted me to give them for their birthday. So I had to wrap it up and hand it over to them.

And then I spoke to her last night on the phone and she's like, now Jay, you took off the price label, didn't you? I was like, no, why would I take off the price label? You left the price label on there? I was like, yep, it's been through the wrapping process. It's even gone one step beyond that. I've even handed it over to them now. And this is apparently the worst crime that I could commit. She'd rather I rip off elderly people building them leaky homes and stealing

their life savings. So she wanted you to take the price tag, the price label off, but it's there. They'll know now how much your mum spent on it. That's the thing. And that's what she said. And I'm like who cares? Who cares? At least they know what you believe is their recommended retail value as a person.

It turns out they're worth $34.95 to you. Is that all? I'll tell you what, and I'm going to be honest with you right now. From time to time, it may be something I get maybe half price. Let's say something was $100 and I got it for half price or $50. Well, I go, those are the occasions I leave purposely. I leave the price tag on. You leave the price on purposely.

Those, you know, where you're like, oh, wow, he really went all out on this one. I'm like, yeah, that's right, I did. But I didn't. But yeah, but I will take the price tag off. But then you've passively made them feel they need to reciprocate with the present of the same or more dollar value. That's right. And if they don't, they're a horrible human being. Yeah. So those are those occasions. I normally would take

the price tag off, much like your mum, if you're like, oh, I don't really want them to know what I spent roughly on this one. But on those occasions that you got a great deal

and you want to look like you've spent more, leave the price tag on. Why not? Well... It's a mistake. It's a mistake. It's not like you're like,

hey, check it out, price tag. You're like, oh, whoops, I shouldn't have left that on. Did you see how much that was? That was a lot. I love it when you go to parties and there's always's not like you're like, hey, check it out, price tag. You're like, oh, whoops, I shouldn't have left that on. Did you see how much that was? That was a lot. I love it when you go to parties and there's always inevitably when you'll stand around and watching someone open their presents, inevitably someone's accidentally left a price tag on

and they notice after the present's been opened and then they try and do like a low-key Tom Cruise-style mission to remove the price tag without anyone noticing. Do you hear my wife's done that as well? Because you hear a oh, you hear an oh, and then they sort of saunter over to the present and they're kind of trying to scrape it off with their fingernails. Try and get it off. It leaves that awful

like residue. Yeah. It's never a clean rip, is it? No, no. And it's like, well, clearly this one's trying to hide how much they think I'm worth. Although yesterday you did, you were walking around most of the day with the label store on your top, the tag from the store. Yeah. Last night I was like, is that on purpose?

Is that a fashion thing? You're like, oh, I didn't. No, I just like to wear clothes and return them after a month or so when they're a little stained and just have a bit of my bacteria laden on the inside. But yeah, my mum, she was like, you may as well have sent me a LinkedIn request. A LinkedIn?

That's how much I hate you right now. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. It is, of course, April Fools today and producer Humphries,

Bee Humps, has, we issued him a bit of a challenge. We wanted to see if he could find some guests for us this morning. Some are telling the truth about what they've done and some are telling a lie. They're trying to April Fool's us, John.

That's right. I mean, we did this just after 7 o'clock this morning. We ended up talking to a lady in the UK who eats bricks. Oh, she actually eats bricks. She's been on shows and everything. We'll play some of that before 9 o'clock this morning if you missed it, and you can check it out on the podcast on iHeartRadio.

It's incredible. Now, this is a fun game you can play along with, too, in your car on nine o'clock this morning if you missed it, and you can check it out on the podcast on iHeartRadio. It's incredible. Now, this is a fun game you can play along with, too, in your car on the way to work this morning, or pretending you're going to work but actually sneaking off on a holiday early without telling the boss. Either or, we're not going to judge you. But the first person we have, I understand, is Jen. Hello, Jen.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Oh, we've got – it feels like an international line to me. I don't know. Oh, we've got... It feels like an international line to me. I don't know. Oh, really? I can feel it in my loins.

Okay. In my... No, no, no, I'm deaf and I couldn't hear it. Okay, so what have you done? My name's Jen and I was credited as saving a prominent world leader's life. Saving a world leader's life? For now? Just we'll leave it at that? Prominent world leader's life. You're saving a world leader's life? For now? Just we'll leave it at that? And then we need to decide whether this was... Did you mouth-to-mouth Barack

Obama when he choked on something? Not quite. Not quite? Okay, alright. Save the prominent world leader's life. Have a debate and find out who is telling the truth and who's trying to fool us. Jackie on the's trying to fool us. Jackie on the phone trying to April fools us. Hiya. What do you do, Jackie? What's your back story?

So my name is Jackie and I once got lost in the bush for three weeks but survived on bugs and breast milk. Three weeks? Surviving on bugs and breast milk? So you? Surviving on bugs and breast milk? So you were pregnant at the time or you'd just given birth? No, I'd just given birth to my beautiful daughter,

but, yeah, went on a trip in the Paparoa National Park, which is, do you know where that is? It's up from Greener. Yeah, and went on an orienteering trip and... You were shocking and orienteering. Yeah. You got lost for three, did you say three weeks? Three weeks.

Three weeks. And what, you know, what day did you start to go, well, I'm going to have to survive on the milk of myself? Yeah, it was probably, I mean, it's all a bit of a blur. But it was probably around, like, the five-day mark where I was like, actually, I've got a resource. May as well use it. Okay.

All right. Well, thank you, Jackie. How were you found? So I was found by Doc. Yeah, I was by a river. And, oh, Alex saved me, thank goodness. Oh, got a name. There's some good detail to this story.

There's some really good detail. Okay, you hold there, Jackie. We now need to decide whether Jen saved a world leader's life or Jackie extracted milk from herself to survive in the bush for three weeks. Now, you can chime in on this as well. 4487 is the test. Which one do you think is April fooling us?

We're in the middle of something where we're trying to get April fooled. Producer Humphrey's been working very hard. I've never seen him. I'm not going to say I've never seen him work so hard, but I've never seen him do so much cardio while working. He's a race car in the red this morning. He's running around,

and the game is that he's booked two guests. One of them is telling the truth and the other one is April fooling us just moments ago before Dua Lipa spoke to two people. One, Jen, who claims she was given credit for saving a world leader's life. And the second one we spoke to, is he? Jackie. Jackie, sorry. Jackie. Survived for two weeks in the bush on breast milk and bugs. Now, on the text machine, 4487, what are people saying?

A lot of people saying that Jackie is lying. There was too much hesitation. She even went, um, when she had to think about if she was pregnant or not in the bush. She's a bit flaky on a couple of details. So they are saying that Jackie was April fooling us. Okay. Which leaves Jen, who was telling the truth. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's me. Are you? Now, I think I know who this is. Is this Jenny who saved Boris Johnson? Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, the Kiwi nurse in the UK. Oh, my goodness. So nice to talk to you.

Hello. Hello. When you said Jenny, I was like, oh, because the only reason I know is because Ben's dad, Kevin Boyce, he wrote you a song. Yeah, he got very... Oh, yes. I know the song. You know the song.

I think he said it to you. I think he said it, without a word of a lie, I think he said it to Boris Johnson's people. He said it to me. He was, like, playing on the radio. I think we played a little bit on the radio. We got him to do it. But he's like, Boris Johnson never got back to me.

I'm like, mate, he's just got out of hospital. And he's, like, fighting a pandemic. And he's running a country. Yeah. Do you know if Boris got the song, Jenny? Look, I wish he was on speed dial, because I would ask, but he hasn't

said anything. Hey, well, firstly can I say to you and your colleagues, congratulations on all the work you're doing over there. I mean, you are literally putting your lives on the line every day with the work you're doing. Yeah, it's been a really tough year and it's been a really tough couple of months, particularly the last couple of months.

But we do seem to be on the down slope and things are definitely looking better. So, yeah, it's been really tough, but we're glad to see the downside. Now, working at the Coalface, have you caught COVID? No, I haven't had a sniff of COVID in this whole year. I can't quite believe it because a lot of my colleagues have. I've had both my jabs now, my COVID jabs. So hopefully I'm clear now. But, yeah, I never even had a tickle, so very relieved.

And when the British Prime Minister came in, you know, when he had COVID and you guys were dealing, how did that all happen? Was that just, did you know that you were going to be working on the Prime Minister before he arrived or what happened? I mean, it was all really, really hush hush and, you know, they were trying to keep it as quiet as they absolutely could. So I had a feeling I was called into my boss's office the night before I looked after him. And they said, right, you know, tomorrow you're looking after Boris Johnson. And I thought it was a big joke and had a bit of a laugh.

But no, the next morning I was looking after Boris Johnson, and I thought it was a big joke and had a bit of a laugh. But no, the next morning I was looking after Boris Johnson. Wow, and I tell you what, you were running the news over here for a week or so, Nurse Jenny from Imparcal. Yeah. I know, what a big star. How many desperate radio shows were trying to get a hold of you? Oh, hundreds and hundreds.

It was nuts. It was really, really nuts. Did you get nervous around Boris Johnson? Because, like you say, you're dealing with a world leader. Did you change your demeanour or you were just your normal Jenny from the block? I just tried to be, yeah, normal Jenny from the block. I tried not to think too much about it. You know, at the end of the day,

he was just someone else that we were trying to kind of get better. And I think I was probably quite perfect for it because I'm not particularly political and I'm obviously not from this country. So I think in many ways I was the perfect person. But I think I remained pretty kind of cool as a cucumber, to be honest. I'm quite proud of myself. How bad did it get for him? Because it was pretty dire for a while, wasn't it?

I obviously can't go into any detail about things, but, you know, he was in intensive care, and anyone who comes into intensive care is pretty sick and needing quite a lot of support. So there's lots of theories that he didn't need to be there and he wasn't sick and all that stuff. But he very much needs to be there. Any learnings that you've taken from being in the UK where obviously things are sadly a lot worse over there than they are here in New Zealand where we feel very fortunate and lucky. Anything that you would like to pass on to New Zealanders

to help keep us safe? I guess I'd really hope that as many people as possible get out and get their vaccine. I know it's really, really hard to imagine how bad things can get when you guys really haven't been affected at all in terms

of COVID numbers, but it's been an absolute disaster over here and it's been something that's been really traumatic and traumatizing for so many people both those working on the front line and those who've had COVID and people who have lost people to COVID so you know please everyone who can go out and get your vaccine, it really is the only way forward. And we're seeing such great results over here with numbers dropping so quickly. It really does show a bit of hope that things can get back to normal. Oh, Jenny, listen, well, New Zealand is so proud of you.

Congratulations for all that. You're out there doing God's work, mate. You really are. And quickly before you go, did you ask Boris Johnson what is going on with his hair? Because he gets out there, every time I see him, he looks frazzled. He looks like he went to the mirror, gave it a ruffle and went, that'll do. Jono's just jealous that he's got amazing hair.

Like Boris Johnson's got so much hair, Jono wants some of it. Yeah, he's definitely not balding. Look, poor man hasn't been able to go to a hairdresser for the last six months. But yeah, look, we definitely had some laughs about his hair. He's the first one to laugh at his own hair, I think. Well, just say there's hair products. You can put hair products in it.

Jenny, congratulations again from all of us here in New Zealand and keep up the great work. Thank you so much. Good on you. Nurse Jenny from Invercargill. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

Five words for 5K on the hit. You're only five words away from a massive payday. Yeah, this is a fun time of the show where you need to match five words with our five words. I was talking yesterday to the managing editor of the New Zealand Herald, Shane Currie. Very important man in news circles. Him and his wife, Marilyn, every morning they time their ride to work so they can play five words in the car. That's awesome.

That's lovely. I feel like they've got more important things to be doing. And better radio stations to listen to. Yeah, he should be listening to the BBC or something. Yeah, that's great. But no, he's listening to be doing. And better radio stations to listen to. Yeah, he should be listening to like the BBC or something. Yeah, that's great. But no, he's listening to five words. He's a great guy. He's like, the words have been tough recently.

And he's right, they have been tough. They have been tough. And Olivia, let's hope they're not too tough for you in the Waikato this morning. Morena, how are you? Good morning, I'm great. How are you? Yeah, you sound like you are jacked up on supplements.

A lot of energy coming through the phone. A lot of energy. I like to bring a lot of energy. What do you do? What do I do? I'm a mum and I study as well. Jeez, I thought you'd be like, hello. A mum who's studying full time too.

What are you studying, Olivia? Funnily enough, I'm studying law, which, by the way, you do not have to be stern to be a lawyer. Let's just put that out there. Okay. You can be bright and bubbly too. Oh, there we go. We've got a bright, bubbly lawyer on put that out there. Okay. You can be bright and bubbly too. Oh, there we go. We've got a bright, bubbly lawyer on the phone.

I love it. You can defend Ben any day. Awesome. He's committed a lot of crimes that we'll need to deal with in a couple of years. I see he gets comedy. Now, you'll know, being a lawyer, you'll know our T's and C's of the game. I'm sure you're all over that. Yes.

All right, good. All right, who are you going to choose to go into the soundproof booth? I'm telling Jono this morning. Sorry, Ben. That's all right. That's fair enough. Jono, now we'll make his way over. He's feeling a little bit nervous.

You're hobbling. Don't tell me that. No, I'm not. I'm hipbing. He's not hipbing. No, no, no. He's not as hipbing. All right.

He's hobbling his way over to the studio. He has some hip-related injury. I'm not sure why. He'll be getting his new hip once he gets his Super Gold card next week. And we're about ready to play. Super Gold should become a hot stuff. Oh, mate. We're about ready to play five words for $5,000

as soon as you shut the door. Here we go. Wait for it to lock. Kick the music off. Millennial Max. Okay, Olivia, I've got to say five words. You know how it works. Yes.

The first word this morning, a topical word too, it's Easter. Weekend. Oh, God, hold on. There's a few words that pop into my mind. Take your time. Easter weekend, Easter bunny, Easter egg.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I know. Once you've gone through your list, you're like, they're all good options. Oh, God, there's even Easter Sunday, which is so nice. You've now given four. Guys. Four really good options. So many interpretations.

Cool, let's go Easter Bunny. Easter Bunny. Is that the one that Jono's going to go for? We'll find out very shortly. Oh, I don't know. I'm hoping. Okay, Easter Bunny's the first word. The next word is chalk.

Board. Board. Nice work on that one. I think it's a good option. You don't want to think through four different options now or are you going to lock that one in? No, I don't want to go even further. It's really hard when your brain starts working. Next one is

buffet. Buffet. Buffet. Buffet. I know that's to do with food. Yeah, it is. Goodness. I know I usually have buffets when I go out for dinner. Or I'm going to say Oh God. Goodness, I know I usually have buffets when I go out for dinner. I'm going to say, oh God, buffet meal?

Meal? Buffet meal? Meal. Okay, yeah, that's good. I like that, Olivia. Okay, your next word this morning is garden. Garden, garden. I'm thinking like flowers because I know I've been out in the garden lately and doing a lot of my weeding and stuff.

Oh, God. Garden. Garden hose. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like garden hose, maybe. Yeah, we'll go garden hose. Garden hose.

Okay. And your final, I know it's tough, especially these words when they give you so many options. And your final word this morning, Olivia, is guide. Guide. G-U-I-D-E. Dog. Is it like guide isn't guide? G-U-I-D-E.

Yes, yep. Yeah, exactly right. Guide dog, yeah. Okay. Well, they're your five words as toughies this morning, but they could match up with Jono. So we'll get him out of the soundproof booth. He's now opening the door and hobbling his way over with his hip

that seemed to come out of nowhere, almost like he wanted attention just from walking. Always wanting attention. You know, I was in there in the soundproof booth thinking about what way do you eat a chocolate bunny? Do you start butt first or do you go with the ears first? You go with the whole bunny. The whole bunny.

The whole bunny. Yeah. Oh, like as you would, yeah. Oh, probably ears. Would you go ears first? Yeah. In the past, I've been known to crush them

and they sort of end up in a, you know, anyway, not important. Not important. No, no. What is important right now is the next five words that come out of your mouth

because hopefully they'll match up with Olivia's. Here we go. Are you saying those ones I just said weren't important? No, they were totally irrelevant. Here's five words, $5,000 today. The first word I said to Olivia was Easter. Easter.

Going bunny or egg? Egg. Egg. Mate, you're just talking about, which one of you ate the Easter bunny? Yes, John! And then said bunny or egg and went with... Oh, Jesus. Well, I had to try and think like a lawyer.

You just come out of here with like, coming out talking about the Easter bunny. I was like, great, he's already in the mindset talking about the Easter Bunny. I was like, great. He's already in the mindset of it. I know. I was like, oh my God, this is promising. We're really like thinking. He's thinking in the booth about Easter Bunnies,

which way you eat it. And then he went egg. You're having a shock. Oh, Olivia. Let's go through the remaining words. Let's just start again. Let's do take two. Easter bunny.

Oh, no. Too late now. The T's and C's. Not even I don't think Olivia can talk that one legally. Don't sue me, Olivia. Yeah. The next word was chalk. Board.

Nice. Buffet. Meal. Garden. Hose. Oh oh don't don't you're not John O

John O John O Olivia and I we're not happy about this this is actually shocking imagine if we get four out of five guide

is the final word I would have said to Olivia I would have said guide dog no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no guide dog. No. No. No. No. I'm so

showing you, man. Oh, Eddie. Look at me, the bunny. Oh, Olivia.

Oh, Jamie, mate, I tell you, I'm so disappointed. All those Easter, I could have bought those Easter bunnies.

I could have just said bunny. You could, you were talking about bunnies. Oh, Jamie. You would have

won five grand. Oh, Olivia, I'm so sorry. You would have won five grand. Oh, Olivia, I'm so sorry. It is back again on Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, no. Yeah, no. Yeah, no. The whole movie. Yeah, no.

She'll be right in at the end of the day. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. Buy the WhatsApp. Buy doco.nbed. Listen, I've just had a press release. The Green Party are actually campaigning against him thanks to the amount of damage he's doing to the environment of celebrity.

Ben Boyce is in for producer Juliet. Yeah, just quickly this morning in entertainment news, trending at the moment, Kendall Jenner. We spoke about this yesterday, a very scary situation she had at her house. A couple of people recently have been sort of sneaking their way onto her property. She had a naked man going swimming in her pool. Yeah, well, she's now since decided to actually move out of her house, and that's officially happening, which I totally understand.

Oh, you'd be terrified. You know, it doesn't matter how famous you are. Especially when people know where you live. That's, you know, a really creepy thing. Imagine if someone turned up at your house and started swimming in your blow-up paddling pool, naked, like I did last weekend, and you paid me no attention. You're off to go, kids.

Just close the blinds. Shut your eyes, shut the blinds. And Britney Spears has finally broken her silence on the Framing Britney documentary that many of us were talking about a few weeks ago. Is she going to do an Oprah interview? I don't know if she is now. It's interesting, on her social media yesterday, of course,

the documentary about Britney Spears sort of shone a light on all the horrible things. The conservatorship, yeah. Yeah, and the horrible things that she had to endure, well, you know, being a celebrity, being in the public eye from such a young age, and you know, all the jokes was made about her, all the paparazzis and all that stuff and it led to

a breakdown, a public breakdown well she said yesterday on her social media that she didn't watch all of the documentaries, she's only seen bits of it from what I did see I'm embarrassed by the light they put on me I cried for two weeks and I still cry sometimes. So I

mean I'm sure the documentary makers made it with love and intentions to go hey this is horrible what Brady Spears has gone through. Oh, she's not a fan of the documentary. Well, maybe she's just saying it's just brought everything maybe with some of these old feelings back and some of these, you know, hey, is she always having to relive these things again? I'm guessing. Or is she saying they haven't told the truth? So, well, yeah, she said the embarrassment. She talks about how her life's always been speculated on watched and judged

her whole life and you know it's really sad to see that she was crying for two weeks and embarrassed by the light that was shone on her

to do with this documentary so yeah I'm sure the makers of this documentary that wasn't their intention their intention was to support Brittany and say this is horrible

but if that's the case I mean I'm again speculating if she's feeling that way it's pretty sad situation all around well you'd have to assume if you're the case I mean I'm again speculating if she's feeling that way it's pretty sad situation all around well you'd have to assume if you're the documentary maker

and I dare say they reached out to her and she wasn't keen to be part of the project that's a good indication that she probably doesn't want the project to go ahead

well yeah but then you're like oh we've filmed all these cool interviews so we're going to have to and we've edited it we've paid an editor usually Brittany

would have been one of the first people you'd try to talk to wouldn't you and we've edited it, we've paid an editor. Usually Britney would have been one of the first people you'd try to talk to, wouldn't you? Oh, who knows? But you know, we've paid a soundy camera operator.

I feel like your logistics, your planning's all... People flew to different parts of America. We put people up in motels. We can't not release this documentary. This is why you're not

producing any documentaries. And that is Spy Entertainment News. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben

for breakfast. Let's pay someone's bills. Don't be afraid of your freedom. The Hits live free. Bills edition. Let's smash another one.

I got beer. It's happening every day 8.30, 1 o'clock and 4 o'clock. We make a bill busting call here at The Hits.

More details at thehits.co.nz but if you want a bill paid just text bills to 4487. It's Easter time and we're out here doing God's work.

Oh we've been. Time, time. We're out here doing God's work. Basically we are taking the role of your parents. We're paying for you. We can send you to your bedroom.

We'll pick you up at 10 o'clock from your friend's house won't we? We're taking all responsibilities here knocking off bills and it's the last day of it.

Last day of it today. What is it? The last bill we're going to be paying. Last time we're going to look like good people. Oh, well, that's pay someone's bill. I think it's Jane's bill. Are we going to go through to Jane? Here we go.

Hello, Jane. Oh, Jane, you sound busy. You sound in the middle of the rush for school. Oh, always the rush for school. Get in your school bag. Get in your school bag. Get in your school bag. Don't you find it annoying? By the way, it's Jono and Ben here from The Hits here, Jane.

Hi, how are you guys? Yeah, good. Look, watch you in the middle of madness. And don't you find it annoying every morning when you're getting kids ready? Just do the same thing you've done the day before and just keep doing that for the rest of your life. But they don't. Well, how do you do that with a teen boy?

How do you get them to promote? Help me understand. Do you know what, Jane? Yesterday, because my daughter had parent-teacher interviews, and so they were finishing school at 1 o'clock the last two days. She obviously thought maybe that I would have forgotten this. At lunchtime, she went to, or morning tea, got the officer to call me just to remind me.

And he was just saying, she's such an owl. Just to remind me, 1 o'clock pick up today in case you've forgotten. She's such an adult or you're such a forgetful dad. I was like, I have a safe pair of hands. Anyway, Jane, we're not calling for me to regale stories of my daughter. We want to pay your child's hockey fees for you. No way. That's amazing.

Thank you. Yeah, now pack his bag. Get his bag. Yeah. And get him out the door. Get him out the door, but we're going to pay that $210 for you for your hockey fees, all right? Oh, that's awesome. Thanks so much, guys.

Appreciate that. No, that's all right. What are you guys doing for Easter? Well, you're probably not in time for light banter, is it? Yeah. Oh, you know, it's all right. They're late for school. They're late for school.

I don't get the attention they do. Chilling out and staying around home in Auckland. I'm not going to join the crowd. No, the traffic's going to be... There's a lot to do here. Yeah, well, listen, you can enjoy that knowing that the hockey fees are paid for. That's awesome.

Thank you so much. Have a great Easter weekend. Nice talking to you. Here we go. Living free of any worries. Nothing you'll have to worry about in your life. Apart from turning up to work on time, looking after your family. There are things that we need you to worry about, but not those bills.

Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Feeling a little bit sore this morning because... Emotionally or physically? Actually, physically. Because we're filming for a new TV show and we took part in Roller Derby last week.

Last week. Last week. Last night. I must have taken too many hits to the head. Yeah, that's right. It's just light concussion. The rugby players are going through it as well. Don't worry. It'll be fine.

It'll be fine. Yeah. Okay? Half your face isn't moving. Oh, it's not. Okay. It's a wild sport. It is.

You don't. I've seen it on movies. Millennial Max, have you seen roller derby? Yeah. Derby or derby. I don't know. I never got to the bottom of it. That should have been my first question. Never got to the bottom of that.

Well, that's what I thought. I just thought the whole, yes, they do go around in circles, but I thought the whole premise of the game, without even knowing anything, this is just making uneducated assumptions, was that it was like a race around the oval of some description. Right, yeah, that's what I thought as well. Yeah, but no, no, no, no. There's tactics involved.

There's basically two people called jammers and they've got to try and make their way through the other players who are blocking them to get through to the front and then lap everyone and then they start scoring points. So you're basically trying to shank these jammers? Yeah, basically you're either getting blocked. It's like prison on wheels. I know.

Yeah, the whole thing is it's like an American football game, a rugby game, whatever you like, but done on wheels. Like, it's a whole other element there. Ben was a jammer. And so his major role was to get past the wall of people, the blockers blocking him. And he had a name. We named him Ben Jammin'.

Ben Jammin', yeah. I named you Kid Block. Do you remember Kid Rock, Max? No, you don't even know Kid Rock. See, it was a dumb name He was like, I'll name you after a guy Who released Barwood to Bar about 18 years ago Sweet home Alabama

And supported Donald Trump Oh, I know those Kid Rock went to the White House, didn't he? Greasy little weasel And so I got the name Kid Block But then we had another lady Her name was Ellen She was a jabmer as well.

She was very good. And we named her Ellen DeJammerous. Like Ellen DeGeneres. She hated it. Well, yeah. We even got a thing printed for her singlet. She didn't wear it. She was amazing though.

You were just trying to trip Ben up basically the entire time. No, no. I was on Ben's team. So I was blocking the other team from blocking Ben. So we've got to try and create a pathway for Ben, Ben Jammin, to get through. Very hard, though. You just spent a lot of time either getting knocked over

or falling over. Well, we did because our skating's not particularly good. I felt like a giraffe, a baby giraffe, learning to walk on ice. That's how I looked. It was a crazy sport. It's the most physical thing I've ever done. Everyone's yelling and there's all sorts of stuff going

and just when you think you're away, someone comes out of nowhere and takes you out and all the refs yelling at you for something. I went to the penalty. Four times Ben went to the penalty seat. For stuff I didn't even know what was going on. People were yelling at me. They're like, I thought I was through. They're like, yeah, you've got to go.

You've got to go. I'm like, I'm going. I'm going. I'm through. This is amazing. They're like, no, you've got to go sit on the penalty seat. You've done a penalty. I was like, oh, that's humbling.

Yeah, no, he brought great shame upon the team of five million last night, Ben Boyce in that penalty box. Well, no, it was fun. It was fun.

A lot of fun. Lovely people. Yeah, awesome. God bless Aotearoa. Is that the way? I was just trying to wrap it up. Yeah,

well, you made it weird. Did I wrap it up? The silence made it weird. I could have just gone for that. It wasn't a God bless sort. Yeah, well, you made it weird. Did I wrap it up? The silence made it weird. I could have just gone for that. It wasn't a God bless in a moment, though, was it? But if I just say God bless Aotearoa, you just pick it up.

God bless Aotearoa. I'm just going to play a song. Yeah, thanks, mate. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Shono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, and this is The B**** News. Yeah, this is a fun little part of the show that we like to do. Producer Humphrey, are you okay? He's alright, he's just running around in a mad panic next door.

Are you okay, mate? I'm good. Yeah, you okay? It's alright, I understand what's going on. Yeah, no, 6.16. You don't need to be running around like that. Take it easy, mate.

We can do some filler talking. We can fill some time. This is the News and Beeps where we beep out certain headlines from international news stories. Very unconventional international news stories.

So let's do it. Let's do it. Here's the first headline from Rachel Jackson-Lewis. Woman endures worst ever as she ends up in the river rescuing his dog. I'm going to say ends up on an episode of The Bachelor looking for love on television. Yeah, I'm saying that she ended up... She dated Chris Warner? I don't know. Something that was terrible. Looking for love on television. Yeah, I'm saying that she ended up, she ended up,

she dated Chris Warner. I don't know what, something that was terrible. Very close, both very close. Woman endures worst Tinder date ever as she ends up in the river rescuing his dog. So it starts off really nice, a cute little dog walk along the riverside.

Yeah. And then the dog goes into the river, is like basically drowning. He stands there like a stunned mullet, so she has to go in after his dog. Why is it the worst Tinder date ever? That's the best Tinder date ever. It's a great, so I rescued a dog.

Well, I suppose the outcome's good. You're right. But for him, maybe. Yeah, for her. She's wet and muddy in the cold. He's like, I could have got another dog. You didn't have to do that. At that point, you're like, she's just go home.

You go home, have a shower. That's the date over, right? Oh, absolutely. Here's the next one. Indian politician promises free trips to the... in a campaign. I didn't say Indian politician promising free trips to the Jet Park Hotel.. I'm going to say Indian politician promising free trips to the Jet Park Hotel.

Oh, OK. In a bit of a tourism campaign. That's nice. For Aotearoa. I'm going to go similar lines. Free trips to Huntley, because that new motorway, you bypass Huntley. You feel sorry for Huntley, don't you?

Yeah. You don't go through Huntley, see the top twins... I don't even know how to get to Huntley now. Well, yeah, that's true. Again, both of you are oddly close. Really? Indian politician promises free trips to the moon in a campaign. We're not really close.

The moon, Huntley? Apparently he was next to the moon. And the Jet Park Hotel was up there as well. No, this was wild. This politician, and this just reminds me of you, Jono, something you would do if you were running in politics, promise the world. Literally, he was promising voters new iPhones, trips to the moon.

You name it, he promised it. Well, Grant Robinson was promising no capital gains tax. Same thing. Yeah. Yeah, that was wild. Here's the next one. Florida man sees 191 times

for Guinness World Record. I'm going to say Florida man sees those goddamn Grammarly ads on YouTube 191 times to create

a Guinness World Record. Oh, that's quite good. Grammarly. I'm thinking that maybe it's our old TV show. No one would have gone that deep on our TV show. Surely that would be a Guinness World Record. No one would have gone that deep on our TV show, surely.

That would be a Guinness World Record. It would be, but no. Florida Man sees Avengers Endgame 191 times for Guinness World Record. Wow. How do you think you'd go with that? The same movie. The same movie. Not in a row, right?

It would have to be like, you couldn't just sit there and watch 191 times. We had a friend, Tim B Batt and Guy Montgomery, comedians. They had a whole podcast where they watched Sex and the City 2, the Abu Dhabi version. They watched the same movie every week for a year, right? And then reviewed it every week. I think they did Grown Ups 2 as well. Oh, the Adam Sandler film as well. Was this for a Guinness World Record or just did it?

No, he was doing it and so he watched it in the cinema across 90 days. It took him to watch it 191 times. Because there won't be a short period of time where the movie was out. So he'd just have to keep going back. So he had a limited

time frame. Did he love it or was he just kind of like, oh well I'm here now, I'm just going to keep watching it for a good... Like, was it a radio? And why stop at 191? Why not go to around 200? He said it took up all his social life,

his family time. He didn't go to the gym. He had to manage work hours in with around the screening times at the cinema. So, yeah, hectic. Well, I hope it was all worth it in the end.

He hasn't got a marriage anymore. He's lost his job. He's got a Guinness World Record. That's what counts. Thank you very much. That was the News and Beeps. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Scrolling through your feed. Overnight, my dear friend Ben Boyce has been scrolling through your feed and he said my feed contains too many calories and saturated fats. But we'll talk about that after the show. What's been happening? Well, it is April Fool's today, so look out. Look out, New Zealand.

It's the day. I don't know why it only goes to 12 o'clock this morning. Why's the clock? I researched it. I said at the top of the show, you know, it dates back to the 1500s, and the rules were when they started back then. I think even Jesus on Bethlehem FM

back in the day was pranking people. He pulled the ultimate prank. He's like, I'm going on Friday and then he surprised everyone back on the Monday, didn't he? Great radio stunt, that one. But no, apparently it was, you were considered a fool if you fell for a prank after

midday on this particular day. So the cut-off point was kind of midday on this particular day. So the cutoff point was kind of midday. The cutoff point was like, yeah. You were asking me yesterday if I was into April Fool's and, you know, with my history of doing some pranks over the years. You've got a rich history of pranking. And I'm like, no, this is your day. It's too commercialised.

They've commercialised pranking on Valentine's Day. It is. It's like, I don't need a day just to be doing the pranks, you know. You can do them in November. But I feel is. It's like, I don't need a day just to be doing the pranks, you know? You can do them in November. But I feel like people get, like, it's almost, can be disdain towards pranks on April Fool's because they're like, ugh, another April Fool's, you know? No, but this is your attitude towards it. Other people like it.

People give it a crack. You're like, oh, yeah, you get April Fool's, you know? You know? I don't know why that is. I saw Subway last night had released their they had released oh we've got the all new they went early on it oh no I think it was embargoed so it's out

yeah oh it's out coriander cookie got new coriander but then at the same time Domino's said we're taking the garlic out of our garlic bread

and just having bread yeah I would love that yeah I like hot bread yeah hot bread's fine that's nice it's got a steamy bread maybe they'll go

that's a good option. But it makes me feel sorry for all the legitimate news this morning. That gets called into question. Well, you probably go, you know, New Zealander of the Year

last night and Dr. Susie Wilds was a deserved winner of New Zealander of the Year but there might be people today picking up the thing and going, oh, April Fool's,

you know, or the minimum wage is going up today. But that's a hell of an April Fool's prank because they held quite a lavish ceremony last night. Well, it's obviously clearly not and she's deserving. But you know, they the minimum wage is going up today. But that's a hell of an April Fool's prank because they held quite a lavish ceremony last night. Well, it's obviously clearly not, and she's deserving.

But, you know, it's just... They hired a hotel bed, and the Prime Minister was there. She was in on it as well. It's not a prank, Jono, but it just puts that seed of doubt... Kiwi Bank were like, we'll sponsor this thing for a year. It's a long runway, but it'll pay off on April 1. Well, you know, the minimum wage is up today. You know, that's who's reading it like,

well, is it, or is this April Fool's, you know? Apparently it is. It's up to $20 an hour, the minimum wage is up today. You know, that's where you're like, well, is it? Or is this April Fool's, you know? Apparently it is. It's up to $20 an hour for the minimum wage. And then I was reading a guy cycled on one of those e-bikes, the hydrofoil bikes over Cook Strait yesterday. Like an America's Cup boat on a bike. Yeah, the New Zealand invention, those things. He went over Cook Strait.

I'm like, well, did he? Or is this an April Fool's? You've been burnt by April Fool's. You have. You've got everything. You've got a bad taste in your mouth about this morning. I know. burnt by April Fools. You're having everything. You've got a bad taste in your mouth about this morning. This should be your day. This is your day.

It's too commercialised. It's like Valentine's Day in the prank game. So much so he won't even let me do any pranks today. He's like, no. Of all days, no. This is the day you should be doing it. Although after 7 o'clock on the show, producer Humphries is going to see if he can fool us. He's got some guests on that we don't.

One's telling the truth and one's telling a lie. And we've got to work out which one is actually telling the truth. Or is he lying that he's booked guests? See? This is why he questions you. Tony Streep's walking in here now. He's waving. Or is she?

Or is it April Fool's? Ben doesn't believe anything today. I'm on edge all morning. She's coming to talk to Ben Humphrey about something. It's probably a prank. Whatever she's saying right now is probably a prank. Hey, just let your guard down, mate. I'm overcautious today.

Anything anyone says to me, I'm going to think it's a prank until 12 o'clock this morning. Okay. Well, this was weird. Ben really got in deep about his hatred of April Fools. Yeah, I don't know why. Of all people, I should love this day. You should.

I should. This is your Christmas. No, too commercialised. I'll start pranking you again tomorrow. And that is what's making news, or is it making news? Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now just in time for the school holidays and the long Easter weekend, there's some sneak peeks of this movie. It's in cinemas right now. It's Tom and Jerry, the iconic cartoon. And it's really awesome. We haven't managed to see a sneak peek of this before this little chat. Tom and Jerry sounds like they would run a pretty successful breakfast radio show. Tom and Jerry in the morning.

They do. I'd listen to them. The cat and mouse duo that have been around for many, many years. They're still there in cartoon form, but they've reimagined it with actors playing alongside in the real world having this cartoon cat and mouse.

It's very funny. We have one of the stars of the film, and you'll know him from a slew of projects that he's been on in the past, started alongside Jake Gyllenhaal, Paul Rudd in Ant-Man. He's been in Chips. He was the dad in Dora. I just watched that movie the other day. That was awesome, that movie.

Yeah, his name is Michael Pena, and he joins us over Zoom now, I think. Here we go. Is it working? Yeah. Hey, Michael. Michael. I don't know how many times we've done this. We've never nailed the mute function on our Zoom calls, so I apologize.

Yeah, you've got to press the mute button and then unpress it. I feel like you're talking to your parents trying to educate them on how to use Zoom. You know, by the way, I have someone here helping with the tech because I'm not that guy. And then there's a guy on the other end that pops like 20 screens.

It's like Tom Cruise moving the screens and stuff. It's just too much for me. I can't do it. Hey, congratulations on the movie, mate. Watched it with the family. You did? Yeah, it was awesome. Very secure.

They send you a link and you have to hand over quite a lot of personal information to even watch the film. But it was worth it. It was awesome. Yeah, did you guys both watch it with your kids? Yeah, we did. Yeah, in separate houses. I don't know why I needed to explain that.

But it was awesome. It was really cool. Not that there's anything wrong with it. No, no. No, no, no. Let's not make it weird. No, no, no. We just don't hang out together all the time.

But the kids loved it. I loved it. Quite a nostalgic feel, I guess, from Tom and Jerry's been around for a while. Yeah, and I love the fact that they still kept it 2D, you know, like it's like 3D-ish, you know, because sometimes when they make it too real, it takes away like the charm, you know, that you grew up with. I want to hit you with a tough question. Which is Tom and which is Jerry? Yeah.

I'm always, like, confused. No one ever knows which one is Giotto, which one's Ben. You know, the masks always get mixed up. Oh, oh, oh. Tom is the big one. Jerry is the small one. Gotcha, gotcha. No, because I did find, though, watching it as a kid,

I loved Jerry the Mouse. But as an adult, I start feeling for Tom. And, you know, he just says he wants to get Jerry, you know? Is that something that you find as well? Yeah, dude, I think it changes once you, like, once you have a kid, all of a sudden you have to, you know, change diapers. It changes you.

Something changes you and you're like, I'm an adult now. I'm changing somebody else's diapers. And then you can really empathise with Tom a little bit. Yeah, you can because I said to the kids, who's the goody and who's the baddy? But they're like, we don't know. They've both got positive attributes. They didn't know whose side they were on.

Yeah, I was the same. I didn't know you had kids as politicians. That's amazing. Hey, now, how long does a movie generally take to film? About three to five months, depending on how big it is and how many sets there are like i just finished a movie in montreal and i think it was about a five month shoot um and does it take you does it take you away from the family for that that amount of time obviously they come with me bud oh wow yeah they come with me and i drag them with me and they you

know my wife homeschools the kid and you know you know, it's a little rough on him, but I think he's going to appreciate the fact that he has a dad and at least I'm, you know, with him. Well, that's, I mean, that's the position that I imagine a lot of your industry's in, is that you do have to leave your family or to make that decision to keep them with you would be a rewarding one. Yeah, absolutely. But, I mean, regardless of where we go,

it's always a little interesting because we try to move into apartments or a house or whatever. And we were in South Kensington and we just absolutely loved London. We actually went to, we were in Australia. We were in the Gold Coast. Oh, wow, of course.

For about a month. Hey now, listen, Michael, I don't mean to be rude, but we've got someone saying rap, rap, hard rap, which I think means... Time for us to go? Oh, they like hip-hop. So the gangster rap, the hard rap. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're telling you guys to rap. Oh, jeez, no, you don't want to see... We're going to take the... No, we're too white for that. We'll take the rap game back 20 years, mate. We won't do good things for it. Well, lovely to talk to you. The movie is awesome.

I can't wait for more people in New Zealand to watch it like we did with our families. Nice chatting to you, and we'll catch up with you hopefully soon. All right, cheers. Michael Peña from Tom and Jerry. Yeah, you can see a sneak peek of that movie in cinemas this weekend, which is great for the long weekend. Why does it have to be a sneak peek?

Well, because I think it's not actually officially out to the school holidays, but they're like, hey, we'll bring it in. Oh, a little sneaky. Get in there quickly. You won't be able to see it next week, but you'll be able to see it over the weekend as well.

They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Spy. No WhatsApp.

Spy.co.nz. Listen, producer Juliet away today, and Ben Boyce is in here doing Spy, and he's like a piece of Velcro, ready to rip into all of your favourite celebrities. Take it away, Velcro. Now, last night was the final of the fourth season of The Bachelor in New Zealand.

Moses Mackay from Solomio. He is The Bachelor, and he got to pick, he chose Annie in a very emotional moment last night on TV. I had to make a decision. The last rose I wanted to give to you.

Do you accept it? I love the music. It'd be so much more underwhelming without the music, wouldn't it? Yeah. I've got a rose to give you. It'd just be awkward silence for about 10 seconds. Yeah. What do you reckon?

But the music really makes it. Now, last night, we were talking before we were doing Roller Derby, so we couldn't watch it. Millennial Max was at home. But you chose to watch the live stream of the Kiwi Bank New Zealander of the Year. So, God, hey. That was great. How was the live stream of the Kiwi Bank New Zealander of the Year. So, God, hey. That was great. How was the live stream of the Kiwi Bank New Zealander of the Year?

Oh, it went late. It went very late. It went to 20 to midnight last night. Which is hard for us getting up early. That seems like an event you could just catch up on the next morning when it came to the news. I love that. I love Max.

There's your dedication to it. You're very newsy. Then he watched a live stream of Soleil Mio the night before. He just sits at home and watches events. I am, at heart, a middle-aged woman. You are. You're very newsy. Then he watched a live stream of Sole Mio the night before. He just sits at home and watches events. I am at heart a middle-aged woman. You are. He's a 45-year-old woman.

And congratulations to Moses. But Tony Street just came in here before, raised an interesting point. Tony Street, who used to work on the show, said, have you got Moses and his partner? Booked on the show. Well, normally they do the rounds. They parade them round. Yeah.

Not today. But then they're the... Oh, no. He's got his own breakfast radio show. Maybe he's got an exclusive for that. Or maybe... Orloff says... Oh, well, that's just some digging before you go...

You don't know. They haven't been able to be seen together in public until today. So, you know, so there's no reason to cast. You thought Art and Matilda were together. I still believe that. I stand by my words. And just quickly, in light of news, TV and weather reporter Matty McLean, he posted on social media yesterday about something that was dear to his heart,

the cookies on the Air New Zealand flight. Dear to his heart, isn't that? Clogging his heart. So he was on an Air New Zealand flight. Dead was hard, isn't there? Clogging his arteries. So he was on an Air New Zealand flight, and he was very upset that the classic cookie time chocolate chunk cookie had been replaced by shortbread. Oh, God, I hate shortbread. And he even tweeted,

Hello, at New Zealand police, I'd like to report a crime, he wrote on Twitter. And then, so basically Air New Zealand replied and said, Don't go baking our hearts, which I really appreciate it. Be careful, next time you'll get a milk arrowroot. And then the New Zealand police, they replied. It's a Matty McLean's thing and they said,

well, it's extremely disappointing. We don't believe a crime has been committed here and then in brackets, debatable. So I thought it was really cool that everyone getting involved on that. Lovely. You know when you always get those, have you had the

Griffin's selection box? You get a selection of all the biscuits. The shortbread is always left over at the end. Oh, you chuck them. Yeah, it's the Turkish delight of the biscuit community, isn't it? Oh, there we go. But looking at the comments underneath the article on stuff,

a few people fancy the shortbread. So, yeah, I don't know. Mum, I used to put wine biscuits in my lunch. Remember wine biscuits? Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, jeez, they're the most boring biscuit. Why are they called wine biscuits?

I don't know. They don't even have wine in them. Yeah, no, I don't know. It's because you're whining about them now. I guess that's the reason. Stop moaning. Once you've eaten one, it's, oh, good. But she would butter them and then join two together like a sandwich.

I had a shocking childhood. That's not a shocking childhood. Shocking childhood, Ben. Mate, that's not a shocking... It's caused me issues later in life. Oh, jeez. And that is Spite Entertainment News. Ben and Jono call this show Jono and Ben.

Breakfast on the hips. Of course, today is April Fool's Day and we played a fun little game a couple of times this morning. Patrice Behumps, he had some guests on and we didn't know which one was telling the truth and which one was telling a lie and we had to work it out. We spoke to the nurse, Jenny, who saved Boris Johnson. Yeah, and just after seven o'clock, we ended up talking to a lady in London who eats bricks. Actually, eats bricks. She's been on TV shows and everything. This is not an April Fool, people. Patrice, you eat bricks?

Yep, I do. That's what I'm known for. It started when I was a kid. You know, some children, you know, have bad habits. Peter, you know, you can eat different things like carpet and soap and that sort of thing. Oh, you know, your classic childhood snacks. Maybe a bit of sand from time to time.

Yeah, but yeah, and you just thought you'd start eating a bit of brick. Yeah, it was, um, my auntie and uncle, they, when they were kids, you know, sometimes you get wear and tear in the wall. So they stuck their fingers in there and licked it.

And then my grandma told me about it. It was a family conversation. And I decided to take a step further and try it out myself. I couldn't stop. I was digging chunks out the walls and damaging my grandmother's walls. You're literally eating her out of house and home.

Yep, I've heard it all. I'm shitting bricks. Are you eating bricks every day? Like this is a part of your diet, your food pyramid. Well, I literally came out about it publicly 2014. So since then, I really tried to cut back and I did cut back a lot. But unfortunately, I haven't cut it out completely.

You're talking like the cigarettes? I've been trying to knock it on the head. I mean the craving is the same. That's the only way I can describe it. Well good on you for talking out about it because I imagine it's a very brave thing to do to come out and to tell people about it. It just seems like you've got a good sense of humour about it.

What do they taste like? Oh, gosh. A bit earthy, sandy, sort of, you know. If you were to compare it to a food, a flavour of food, what would it be closest to? Crackers mixed with breadcrumbs. Really? Now, obviously, this is not recommending...

Very dry. Any kids listening, we're not recommending this at all, and it can't be good for you, surely. It's not, but, you know, it is funny how much the human body can actually endure. Well, mine in particular. And without getting too personal, how does it digest and pass through? Well, it turns to crumbs.

I can't describe it. I mean, it's to crumbs. I can't describe it. I mean, it's sort of... It's very crumbly, and you get, like, tiny bits of stone and glass in it, but it's so small. I mean... And you're going to continue to eat bricks? As I said, you know, an addiction is an addiction,

you know, however strange it is, you know. I've tried to stop, and I've cut back much more than what I used to do because it was a daily thing. And it was getting out of hand, but yeah, I still do it. I've got the same problem with Heinekens. Yeah.

Oh, well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you talking to us. Take care of yourself and good luck trying to cut back on your brick eating. No worries. It's a pleasure. Thank you for to us. And yeah, take care of yourself and good luck trying to cut back on your brick eating. Oh, no worries. It's a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

That's words I never thought I'd say on radio. Good luck with your brick eating. Cutting back on your brick eating. Cutting back your brick eating. So that was Patrice. She's in the UK and she actually eats bricks.

That's not an April Fool's. You can Google her. She's been on plenty of shows over there. And that was just, wow, what a bit of radio. Hey, thank you so much for listening to the program this week. If you're heading away this Easter,

Ben, you like to always give your road safety message. Drive safe on the roads. I hear already the news this morning, like traffic's going to be really bad. Traffic's going to be bad. So a lot of traffic over the weekend. It is a long weekend. And daylight savings, don't forget about that as well. That happens on Sunday as well. Yeah, drive safe on the road because

up until now I was going to drive on the wrong side of the road but now thankfully Ben said drive safe. I'm going to drive safe this weekend. What do you want me to say? You always have a crack at me for doing that. But I said people need to drive safe on the roads. Yeah, they do. But they know that. People need to know. You don't need to go drive

recklessly, do you? Have a great Easter weekend. We'll catch you on Tuesday.