Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 08 - A Listener Worked With Kanye West For Over A Year... She DISHED THE DIRT To Us!

Episode Date: April 7, 2021

This is crazy. Today we spoke about what your claim to fame is. Both of us, in hindsight, had quite mediocre claims to fame. But my word, some of our listeners phoned up with stories about their crazy interactions with celebrities like Kanye West, Meghan Markle and Victoria Beckham. We were also joined by comedian Dai Henwood, as the new season of 7 Days starts again tonight. Finally, Ben's dog Beau embarrassed him once again, seems like he's uncontrollable! Had a lot of fun on today's show, hope you enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast, Thursday the 8th of April. Jono Pryor coming to you live from the Hits Studios,

the network of radio stations and Ben Boys, coming to you live from the kitchen, home of cooking and marital discussions. Yeah, I'm currently just next to the kitchen. We've got a small little desk area, and I thought I'd play something. I don't think it's ever been done on radio before.

A sound, and it's like a secret thing, and you've got to guess what it is. I've never heard of this format before, but it sounds like there might be legs in it. So you're saying it's so secret if you won't tell me what the sound is? That's what I was thinking and then you try and work out what it is. Okay, I like

that. We'll road test it and see if it's got anything and whether we want to execute it on the radio. What can I find? Here you go. Go again. Stapler. Oh, he's good. Okay, go on to the next one. I love this game.

Is that you opening a jar of mayonnaise? Yes. How did you know? Oh, because I love this game. What are you calling this game you're playing? The Secret of Sound. The Secret of Sound. I love it.

It's a wonderful format, and I think we'll give that a crack. Yeah. Yeah, but we don't tell anyone what it is. Oh, you don't? Why don't we give the winner some money? Okay. Yeah, if they get it correct. Like $50,000 or something.

Oh, wow. That seems like a lot. Yeah, well, that's... Putting a lot on a sound. That's what I back. Hey, no, that was a fun game. Ben Boyce, not working in the same room as me, he's waiting on a COVID test.

And last night you couldn't actually be at the first, the kickoff, the first date on our worldwide five words for $5,000 tour. Felt bad about that. I didn't want to be part of it. No, I know. Don't feel bad. The people missed you. I missed you.

I'm sure they didn't even know I wasn't there. But what I didn't realise is that they were live streaming the event Oh yes they were To my shock I receive a text from my wife Jennifer She's like do your zipper up And through the whole live stream I've had my zipper down on full display And so not only are they the live stream audience,

the real time audience too. People in the room. No one told me. No one raised the issue. It's an interesting thing isn't it? When do you point out something to someone? Do you have to be comfortable to know that person? Or do you just say, hey, your zipper's down or you've

got lettuce in your teeth? It does also insinuate that you've been staring at their crotch. So if you've noticed that the zipper's not up. But it's like if you've got food on your face. You always want someone to tell you, don't you? The other thing as well I find, and I'm not, you know, sometimes you get like a little up your nose, you get a little, you know, like a little unwanted thing up your nose.

Yeah. A little bogey. A bit of thing up your nose yeah a little bogey a bit of cocaine or something left over a bogey yeah and um yeah and sometimes you get a bogey up there

and um you want to know you want to know but it is a weird thing for someone you know you don't really know to go hey you've got a little bogey

a little bit of snot up your nose maybe we'll get into this to the show tomorrow how long do you need to know someone before you can actually inform them that

hey they might you know have something malfunction on them well that's true do you need to know someone before you can actually inform them that, hey, they might have something, a malfunction on them? Well, that's true. Do you need to be, because I'd tell you if you had anything anywhere. I'd be like, Ben, you've got your genitals out, mate. What's going on? You're at work. I'd say it like that.

Oh, she's like that too. Not again. But yeah, so we'll get into this tomorrow on the show. In the meantime, well, your job's to enjoy the podcast. We did have a fun program today, including talking to a lady. Amazing batch of calls, but one of the highlights, a lady who worked for Kanye West. Oh no, this is incredible, isn't it? And a lady who sat next to Victoria Beckham on a plane.

A lady who had worked at a hotel when Meghan Markle was staying. I mean, these are incredible stories that came on through. Jeez, these were like, you know, we're in this coal mine every day of content, aren't we? Getting mucky, rolling up, getting our sleeves dirty, doing God's work. We're down here in the trenches. And it's not often you pull out little nuggets of gold like those calls today, Ben Boyce. Nice, so enjoy those on the podcast. What are you doing? It sounds like you're doing something else.

Oh, look, I thought I'd finished, and I put the mic down to type, because I have to hold the microphone to my face. And then I keep talking. It's not on a stand, so I keep putting it down to type, and then you keep looping me into the chat. And then I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I put it down. I thought I was done, so I put it down here.

And then I'm climbing away. And then you're like, oh, he's back. You can see my full name being brought out. I was like, oh, okay, I'm going to come back in on this one. No, because I could tell you had drifted off. And this is why I prefer you in the same room, so I can't let you drift off. I thought you were going to, like, I'd done, my work was done.

I'd played the secretive sound. They're flying into that. Let's get out of it. All right, here's the podcast. Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Jono and Ben hanging out with you? Yeah, thank you for hanging out with us too.

Ben Boy's hanging out with his family at home in the kitchen broadcasting live. He's just waiting for test results, aren't you, buddy? That's right, NCEA. I hope to pass this year finally, guys. This is my year. He's been trying for 20 years. This will be the year he comes. I hope to get into university,

get a qualification and not do radio. So hopefully things work out for me. But I was telling you a story. I was speaking to a friend of mine. This is very impressive. His claim to fame. So what he's got, he's got this story that he tells people

he's just met to impress them. And his claim to fame is he had lunch with Beyonce and Jay-Z. Wow. What a claim to fame. That is amazing. This is, now this was Beyonce and Jay-Z had come to New Zealand. And I don't know if they were married at this time so I don't know if they were engaged so Jay-Z was with his fiancee Beyonce in an Auckland restaurant and

I remember they came to New Zealand I think they booked out like a boutique accommodation like Molly's in Auckland I think that was the room

yeah they stayed there yeah well he was by chance in the restaurant when Beyonce and Jay-Z walked in and he says, I had lunch with Jay-Z and Beyonce. Technically, when you break it down,

technically, on a technicality, Jay-Z and Beyonce sat beside him. Right. And he was, you know, Beyonce had turned her back on him like she had the members of Destiny's Child. And he was sitting back to back with Beyonce in the restaurant. Right. So they weren't at the same table.

Not at the same table. But still having lunch at the same time. And then you go, oh, yeah, he's right. He had lunch with Jay-Z and Beyonce. Both of them were eating lunch in the same building at the same time. But he said, because, you know, when imagine when you sit next to famous people like that, you'd just be watching every move they make. And he's like, Beyonce, they flew there on a helicopter apparently

and she only had half a bowl of chips. Oh, really? Only had half a bowl of chips and Jay-Z only had half a salad. And he was like, oh, I could feel like dessert and Beyonce's like, I don't think you're ready for this jelly. So he had to skip out on dessert. Was that just a set up for that? Yeah, it was.

Did it work? No. Juliet liked it, mate. I liked it. I kind of made everything else you said before that. Now I'm questioning everything you said before that. Was Beyonce and Jay-Z even in the restaurant in New Zealand? No, this is a true story.

And she did only eat half a bowl of chips, which he said when they left, he actually snuck a chip, just to say, just so he could add more weight to the story, that technically he did have lunch. But that's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool claim to fame. I don't have anything impressive for a claim to fame. Oh, then hang up on him.

Oh, he could. The one thing that people are like, oh, really? Was it you? We've talked about this before. The Novus windscreens, the Show Us Your Crack ad. I was one of the people that wrote it and also sang on the ad. Show us your crack. Oh, Novus.

When you find your vision like a Novus windscreen, but you're cracking. Show us your crack. Ah, Novus. That's you. I got my, you know, I sang in the chorus And also got my, ah, Novus Little solo moment as well there at the end You wrote it, you've never once shown me your crack

It's got a crack-free windscreen It has for many years Never had a crack on it, has it? Thank you, Novus What's my claim to fame? The only thing I could think of was The Commonwealth Games were once held here And I, through the help of a neighbour The only thing I could think of was the Commonwealth Games were once held here.

And I, through the help of a neighbour who was involved in the administration of the games, was the flag bearer for Papua New Guinea. Oh, so you got to walk out in front of the team. Got to walk out with the team. And, well, listen, thankfully, the honour was bestowed on me from another child who started to get, his arms were sore and he couldn't carry the flag anymore. So he passed the flag over to me. He's like, do you want to take this? So then I walked at least a quarter of the track as the flag bearer of Papua New Guinea.

Oh, so was it quite a heavy flag? Well, I guess if you're eight or nine years old, the weight of a flagpole. And the novelty probably wears off too, doesn't it? Yeah, you're like, and nothing screams Papua New Guinea like me, does it? So that's my claim to fame. And boy, I felt like a million dollars. Oh, this is fun. Let's open up the phone lines because usually we have them closed.

But right now I think it's time to open them up. 0800 the hits, 4487 on the text. I've opened up the floodgates. It's like a floodgates opening bin. They're pouring through. Open them up. The800 the hits. 4487 on the text. I've opened up the flood gates. It's like a flood gates opening. They're pouring through. The calls come through. What is your claim to fame? Yeah, what do you do to impress everyone? Your one story.

And you can text us too. 4487. We've opened up the flood lines. We've opened up our borders to Australia. They're coming on in. Give us a bell. We'll start with Nick. Welcome from the Waikato. Morena. Morena, buddy.

How are you? Good to have you on, Nick. What's your claim to fame? I actually had lobster with meatloaf. What? Not meatloaf, but meatloaf the singer. Meatloaf the singer? I was going to say, is that the technicality that you had a bit of meatloaf with a lobster,

like the actual food thing? But this is the singer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was doing security in the green room and he was having lobster and he offered me some, so it was pretty cool. Oh, that's lovely of meatloaf. It seems like an inappropriate dish for meatloaf to be eating.

Yeah, well, yeah. Given his name. He's probably sick of eating meatloaf, isn't he? Yeah, exactly, yes, yes, yes. And did you talk to him while you were eating lobster with meatloaf? Yeah, him and his daughter. They were actually a nice couple. Really good.

Good to talk to. Lobster with meatloaf. I'll take that as a claim to fame. Yeah, I use it all the time. That's a beauty. We'll go to Sarah in Christchurch. Welcome. You're on the air. Your claim to fame says... Hi there. My claim to fame is that we're family friends with the Connerys, Sean Connerys' grandkids.

No. Yeah. We used to live in the States. Sean Connery, the James Bond, one of the greatest James Bonds. Yeah. Did you meet Sean? No, I can't say I did, unfortunately. But yeah, we went to their house for a few dinners

and stuff, and my parents went to their house in the Bahamas. What, to Sean Connery's? Yeah. No, that's cool. Yeah. Well, you met the people who have the same bloodline as Sean Connery. And I'll take that as a claim to fame. That's a beauty.

Let's go to Lisa. Welcome. You're on from Auckland. Are you a claim to fame, Lisa? Hi. So my claim to fame isn't too cool, but basically when Rita Ora came, she did her first Ora tour in New Zealand

and she did a show at the power station. And me and my friend were like obsessed with her. So once the show finished, we thought we'd just go around the back of the power station just to see. And anyway, she was standing out there and they were like loading the van to leave. And so we got to chat with her for a bit.

Oh, she stalked her after a show. I always wondered if that worked. Yeah, I hate to admit, but it does work for like lower level celebs. Oh, lower level ones, the obtainable celebs. Because Juliette, many years, you spent 10 prolific years stalking Justin Bieber. Yeah, I did.

To the point where there is, I think, some form of an order where you can't go within 200 metres of him. Yeah, that sounds about right. But what's your claim to fame? Well, in the days of being in love with Justin Bieber, I very embarrassingly had a fan Twitter account dedicated to him. That was part of the FBI evidence as well. Honestly, I can't believe I'm admitting this.

This is so embarrassing. Honestly, I want to die inside right now. But yeah, so I had this fan account, Twitter account for Justin Bieber. And once I just tweeted the Backstreet Boys being like, please follow me on Twitter. And then the Backstreet Boys started following me and I just lost my marbles.

Yeah, why not? Why wouldn't you tweet Justin Bieber to follow you? Well, I tried that many times for many years and that didn't work, so I settled for the Backstreet Boys. So would you interact with the Backstreet Boys? No, well, I think I tried to DM them, but that Twitter account is long gone.

I deleted everything of it when I finally matured. All traces of your BB years. Your wild BB. Some texts flowing through here. Some great texts, actually. 4487. My claim to fame is I've met four members of the royal family, Prince William, Prince Charles, Camilla and Fergie.

Wow. Jealous. Good claim to fame. Another one here involving the royals. While working in London, I sold Princess Diana two matchbox cars in a toy shop in London. That's pretty cool. My dad, Kevin, he dined

down the fact that he met Princess Diana once. He's even got the photo in a frame. I don't think he's got any frame photos of me up in his house, but he's got one of him meeting Diana when she came to Masterton of all places. And there were a whole lot of people because Dad was the headmaster of a school

and he went up and basically got to say hello, and she said, are these all your kids? And he said, oh, not mine personally. And she goes, good, because I knew there must have been family planning in New Zealand. So I thought it was quite a good joke from her, actually. Yeah, on the spot, a bit of ad-libbing comedy there. Yeah, that was a regular bit.

When the royals come here, why don't we go, oh, you must go to Masters. I mean, I'm from Masters, and I'm like, oh, geez, would you go back there? Prince Harry, you've got to check out Stewart Island before you leave. Yeah. No wonder Harry wanted out. Morning, this show contains traces of Jono and Ben.

The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. We've had some amazing texts and calls coming through, so we're keeping this going. Hayley, what's your claim to fame? Yes. When I was living in London, the Gentleman movie was being filmed outside my apartment. So I went downstairs to have a wee stalk

and I saw someone kind of wearing a two-piece, looking pretty suave, plaid suit. And I was like, oh, I'm sure that's someone. So I kind of crept in closer, and it was Colin Farrell. So, yeah, we had quite a long handhold. Oh, you held hands with him for an extended period? Yeah, a long handhold and a bit of a cuddle. There wasn't actually a kiss.

I did try the whole horse-ass thing, but he wasn't there. So, were you not letting go of his hands, or was he not? No, he was holding mine. You made it weird, Hayley, I'm sure. And it sounds like you made it weird. Was it a handshake that sort of transformed into an elongated hold? Yeah, and he was kind of cupping my hands, you know? I was into it.

How many seconds of cupping are we talking here? Oh, man, I reckon it was like eight seconds. That's some good cupping. And that's, you know, when you're in an engaged hold like that, eight seconds feels like eight hours. It does, it really does. I was hoping for the rest of the cast, but I'll keep happy with that. No, so how did you approach it?

You were like, Colin Farrell, can I cup your hands? I got really awkward and I was like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with you. Can I have a photo? And the security took my phone from me, so I just went in for the hug. That's beautiful. It was beautiful. I love how you're like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with you. Can I have a photo? And the security took my phone from me, so I just went in for the hug. That's beautiful. It was beautiful. I love it how you're like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with you,

but you didn't actually know who it was until... I knew it was someone, though. I knew it was one of the cast members. Yeah, it was someone. I'm obsessed with you. I'm obsessed with you. Well, when you say you're obsessed, that gets you a good eight-second cupping.

Hey, look after yourself, Hayley. Really appreciate you listening. Bye. And we've got Jessica on the phone. Welcome from Nelson. You claim to fame, Jess. Hi, yes. What's your claim to fame?

So when I was working in London, I was in hospitality, and I actually met Meghan Markle before she was a royal. No. Here we go. hospitality and I actually met Meghan Markle before she was a royal. No! Here we go! Now we get to do our sit down tell all Oprah interview with you. What did you do? How did you serve Meghan Markle? I was a receptionist so she was staying at our hotel in London

although she was quite demanding even before she was a princess. She was a princess before she was a princess. Yeah, like it was meant to be. What wild demands was Markle making in your hotel? I won't go into too many details, but, yeah, she obviously likes certain things the way they are.

Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Was she dating Harry at the time? Oh, I don't know. Maybe she was, but I don't think it had broken the media then. Yeah, right. Okay, there we go.

Markle, a demanding monster. Oh, no, you see? No, hang on. Oh, no, there's not going to clickbait. Get that on the Herald. Get that on the Herald. I've done a clickbait, a classic clickbait. Demanding monster.

I'll be New Zealand's Piers Morgan. Demanding monster. Oh, jeez. Stop it. Tone it back. Good on you, Jessica. Really appreciate it. We've got one more that we should take as well.

Kimbo, you're on the air. Hi, I sat next to Victoria Beckham on the airplane in America. Oh, these just keep getting better and better. Wow. Was she a demanding monster? No, she was actually really nice. She asked if I'd go and see David Beckham play soccer when he came over, and I was like, ah, no.

No, in those cases, you just lie. Just lie for New Zealand's sake. And everybody asked me if I got, you know, like a photo, an autograph. And I was just like, well, it just didn't feel right. It was just so natural. And over there, they don't, you know, don't go mad over them. And so was it free-flowing conversation the whole flight? Did you go from takeoff to landing or just little pockets?

Oh, just little pockets. She was going up to judge on American Idol, I think. Oh, that's so cool. Sat next to Victoria Baker. Now, Ben, you're going to be, this plane, so to speak, judge on American Idol, I think. Oh, that's so cool. Sat next to Victoria Baker. Now, Ben, you're going to be, this plane, so to speak, keeps on going because we've got one next who worked for Kanye West. No way. Someone who worked for Kanye West.

We're going to wrap this up. We're going to play a song. We're going to come back. The claim to fame hour keeps rolling on. Wow, this is incredible. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that.

I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this. Jono and Pen, breakfast on the heads. The heads. The heads. We started just after 8 o'clock wondering what people's claim to fames were, and to be honest, we all questioned it. We said it's too broad.

It's too broad a subject. We needed to narrow it down, maybe focus in on areas that people would understand, but no, we had so many calls and texts. We actually had that conversation. We did. We were like, no one's going to call. This is too wide.

It's too broad. It was like a pure act of desperation to fill airtime. We chucked it out there anyway. And so far, we've had someone who's had lunch with Jay-Z and Beyonce. We've had someone who cupped Colin Farrell's hands for eight seconds. Yeah. Someone who met Meghan Markle, sat next to Victoria Beckham on a plane. It's been incredible.

And now Michelle's going to come in from Taranaki. Morning, Michelle. Good morning. How are you? Doing well. Working for who? Who did you work for? So I worked for Kanye West.

I did them. He was over in America when I was living there, and I did the property management for the rental that he was renting. I worked with him for about a year and a half. So you worked with probably the most famous person on the planet. Wow. Kanye West. How was managing Kanye's property?

Oh, there were some stories. I think I could write probably an article, a few articles in a magazine. Well, don't do that. Just say words on the radio for us. She's like, I'm not giving you a story for free. That's what she's saying, right? Okay, pick out your top two favourite Kanye stories. Oh, my top

two, okay. One of them was he called his driver one afternoon. He said, get the girls over to the house. He goes, I've got Amber Rose's ex-fiancée. She was coming into town. This was right before he started dating Kim Kardashian. And he goes, oh, she's coming into town for the weekend. Get the girls in.

Get them upstairs. Get all the undies. Get the suitcases. Get all the other women's clothes out of the bedrooms and hide them. Because you used to have all the local girls over who you could pick up for the night. Oh, they had to go around picking up underpads. We'd go over and get all the girls' clothes and perfumes out of his bathroom. They had laundry laying around.

Single man, jeez. Why don't they just keep a track of their own underpants? You'd think so, wouldn't you? And so this is while you're managing his property? Yeah, so he would be there when we were there, but this particular day he was out recording, so she was going to arrive at the house before him, so we had to go clean it up before she got there.

Oh, jeez. And so you were picking up the underpants with your hands? Yeah, don't worry, we didn't use our hands, we used the kitchen tongs. Somehow that's worse than the kitchen tongs. Did you put them back into circulation? No, we allocated those tongs to many things. All the things those tongs to many things, actually.

All the things those tongs picked up. Okay, so that's a great story. And what was the second one? Well, the kids might want to block their ears on this one, but when we'd be cleaning up after him sometimes, after he'd had a big party or whoever was there, we'd go into his bathroom and clean it up and he'd have his condoms on the bathroom floor like the size of an elephant.

They were just... They made them that big. The kitchen tongs came in quite handy. He used the kitchen tongs. Oh, my God. Oh, Michelle. Okay. Well, I don't know where we go from there.

No, I don't think we can go anywhere from here. I want more stories. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Now, Ben Boy's coming to you live from his lounge this morning, interrupting his family's morning routine. Broadcasting live from the kitchen are we? Is it a kitchen lounge situation?

Just next to the kitchen. And as I said to you earlier this morning when I took my daughter Indy to bed last night I was like, oh dad's going to be doing his radio show from the kitchen. In the morning she's like, oh that's the one where you shout really loudly at 6am. I'm like, yep, that's it. That's how the family woke up this morning.

Now, you're taking the day off. You misinformed the Boysenberries, the official Ben Boyce fan club, as to why you're not in studio today. A little bit of a sniffle. So, you know, at home today, you don't like me saying a sniffle because you feel like that's not quite cool enough. It lowers the credibility of the program when you're off with a sniffle. But also, too, there's no COVID around, mate.

Don't worry. It's all gone. It's disappeared. That's why I said lick my cheek yesterday. Remember? I said let's do some post-show cheek licking. And you were pretty cool with it. I was fine with it.

So there's no need to worry. We're all back to normal. Open up the borders. Away we go. Now, we talked a lot about Tuesday this week being a holiday for the kids, the school kids that no one knew about. Oh, Easter Tuesday. Yeah.

Which they said it's been a thing for 30 years. Well, I hadn't heard of it. I didn't even hear of it when I was doing Easter Tuesday at school. So, but Tuesday afternoon, I didn't tell you this, but we went to the beach. The family went for a bit of a walk on the beach and took our dog Bo along. Bo, big, white, fluffy Samoyed, who I feel like every couple of weeks I bring a story of what Bo has done in a public setting

to the radio. Yeah, well that's why I've just asked producer Juliet to get some music, if we can make this somewhat official. Okay. Here's Ben's Bo update. Weekly Bo content. This dog needs to get on the payroll. It is providing a lot.

And the thing I love about Bo is, you know, thanks to his antics, you're the second most embarrassing member of the boys' whanau. Yeah, well, he's had some shockers in the past. We've talked about him taking, washing off people's lines, bringing it home. We've talked about him eating whole platters of food, basically falling in a lagoon and dragging me into it as well.

Sometimes I wonder if the dog's been sent from above to pay you back for all the despicable things you've done in your past. Well, that's probably true. Well, the other day we were at the beach, so this is on Tuesday. The Tuesday, that's a holiday that we all know about for kids.

And we're on the beach and Amanda, my wife, is like, oh, should we let the bow off the lead? You know, because you're allowed to let the dog off the lead. And I'm like, well, risky move. Especially with him, he's unpredictable. Yeah. But I'm like, we looked around, there was no other dogs. There was hardly anyone on the beach because most people were at work. So we're like, oh, it should be fine. So off he went, running away, and it was all good. He ran into the water, and then he ran over towards some people. I'm like, uh-oh, here we go.

There was a couple of ladies sunbathing, you know, just lying in the sun on the beach, and he ran over to them. And you're about 50 metres away. You can see it all happening. You're like, uh-oh, uh-oh. And then Bo started to, you know, because he's wet, what do they do? They decide to shake. Yeah, it's inevitable.

It's a ticking time bomb as soon as a dog emerged like a soggy towel. Yeah, but they always find someone, like a person, to shake next to. He had like an open beach. But anyway, he runs over to these ladies who were lying there. We had this the other day. We're like, shake, shake without any victims around. Exactly. And so he does that, and I'm starting to run over going, oh, no, you know, just try and like, shake, shake without any victims around. Exactly. And so he does that.

And I'm starting to run over going, oh, no, you know, to try and go, bo, bo, no, no. And just as I'm running over there, he spies. They've got a lovely little picnic. Two sort of sandwiches sitting there that they had prepared. And within a matter of like five to ten seconds, he had eaten both the sandwiches from the plate. And you just like run over there going, I am so sorry about my dog. I'm sorry. You do more apologising for that dog than you do for me.

Yeah, I do. And I mean, we do Jono and Ben. You know, we're Jono and Ben. I mean, that takes a lot of apologies on a daily basis. The problem is dogs can't read a room. No, or a bitch. They don't get a vibe. They don't know any rules.

They don't know those sandwiches to them are fair game. Exactly. Someone's made me a sandwiches to them are fair game. Exactly. Someone's made me a lovely post-swim sandwich. They're presented there on a towel. They look delicious and he ate them down and you're like, what do you do in this situation? And what do they say? It's fine? Yeah, one of those classic, it's fine, it's fine, we didn't want them

anyway, but you're like, well, no. You know that they did. And you're like, can I buy you a new sandwich despite the fact that there's no cafe for miles and you're like, well, no. You know that they did. And you're like, can I buy you a new sandwich, despite the fact that there's no cafe for miles? And they're like, no, it's fine, it's fine. But you just sort of walk away. Yeah. Now, the thing is, the dog is so white and fluffy, you can't tell if he's red and embarrassed underneath it all.

But dogs don't generally get it. The only thing they get embarrassed about is when nature calls, and it has to go at the back end. And for some reason, that's the most, that's the lowest thing a dog can do to itself. It's like, get away. Don't look at me. Get away from me.

All hunched over. They need to give me a look of just like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to walk on me doing this. You're embarrassment. Yeah. But then they do all this other stuff that they've got. No, their moral compass is all over the show. Want more Jono and Ben

You can catch up with the boys anytime Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram Tonight back on the TV The very funny Seven Days is back And we had an interview yesterday with Di Henwood After the show But I had to head home with a bit of a sniffle Don't call it a sniffle

Because it makes it seem It doesn't deserve for you to shoot off I had to head home with a bit of a sniffle. Don't call it a sniffle because it makes it seem, you know, it doesn't deserve for you to shoot off. A sniffle, don't say a sniffle. That's all it is. Give yourself some cred, mate. Of course it's a sniffle. Well, that's all that's going on.

I've just got a sniffle. But, you know, anyway, I couldn't be there for the interview, but you devised a cunning plan to make it feel like I was there. There were no holes in this plan whatsoever. I got you to record certain things that I could play to die Henwood, questions, reactions, so that no one would be none the wiser. Okay? And I think we pulled this off flawlessly.

Die, how are you today? Ben, I am great, mate. I mean, to be honest, it's been too long and it's just wonderful to hear your voice. So how was the trip in? It was pretty good, to be honest. I tell you, I was coming in from Avondale. It was sort of light to heavy traffic. Map said I was going to be a bit longer than I was,

but I got to park outside and do a little bit of GST admin before I came in. That's funny. Hey, thanks very much, Ben. It's actually quite nice doing this. Next time we catch up, if you could just pre-record some stuff and I can go to a cafe and order

a coffee, and then it feels like we're hanging out. Oprah Winfrey, eat your heart out. That was an in-depth tell-all interview. How good would that Royals interview have been if she was like, hey, Oprah's just sick today. She's recorded some questions just for you and Harry to answer.

Very exciting seven days is back. Season 13. Yeah. Twelve and a half years. That's a milestone. It's amazing. And what's more amazing about it is we all are so excited to be back, like Jeremy, Paul, myself. We're going to be sort of blooding a lot of new talent. There's going to be your favourite old talent plus all the games you like.

No, it's just a pleasure to be back and it's nice. Basically, just tune in to us for the news. I mean, there's not enough gags in the actual news. It's always been my criticism, my feedback forms to News Hub. Yeah, always Dello flopping out some one-liners at the end of humanitarian stories on One News. But the disturbing thing is probably, I'd say a large part of the country actually get their news from Seven Days.

That's the feedback we get heaps. Because why, I mean, the news is so long. You know, some people are, I speak to some relatives who, like, do one news and three news. They watch one of them. They double down. Watch one of them record the other, then roll two hours of news back to back.

But this is the same news, isn't it? Essentially. It's the same news, flavoured differently. Now, what I found interesting about you, Di, reading up, your first television appearance was at age four. Yes, strangely on the second longest running comedy in New Zealand, Gliding

On, which my dad was in. And yeah I was in the Christmas episode of that when I would have been four, I could have even been a little bit younger. That gave me the taste. Then I was just biding my time through primary school. Did they pay a four-year-old,

or was that classic champagne 80s child labour there? They did not pay a four-year-old back then. I used to go along. I grew up every week because it was recorded in front of a live audience. I grew up watching that show. Then I'd go to the theatre. In fact, when I was born, I got taken from the hospital backstage to the theatre

so my mum could watch my dad's opening night and actors who weren't on stage looked after me in the green room backstage. A little bit of a revolving cast of babysitters. Yeah, the State Opera House in Wellington. Shit, that's insane. So I sort of always had performing in my blood and it would have been strange

if I didn't go into some sort of performance and ended up on the comedy side of it. And so did your mother, literally, she'd just given birth to you and then left the... I think, you know, you stay in hospital for a few days. Yeah. Like, I don't think it was... Cut the umbilical cord off.

I've got a show to get to. Great. It was an amazing upbringing. I had the most loving parents who have just been so supportive. Because, you know, it was an amazing upbringing. I had the most loving parents who have just been so supportive. Because, you know, it's pretty freaky, I think, if your kid says, especially back in the day, I want to get into stand-up comedy. It wasn't a career. It wasn't a career. There wasn't even pay in gigs, really.

What did they say when you mentioned that to them? They said, look, you can give it five years, and if you haven't seen any success, you're going to have to look at something else, which I thought was a real... Did you make those five years, and if you haven't seen any success, you're going to have to look at something else, which I thought was a real... Did you make those five years count? I did. I supplemented them by working a lot of bar jobs to sort of pay the way.

Because you got a gig on Xena, Warrior Princess, chasing loosely lawless around the forest. Xena, I did a bit of BBC Christian TV, which was where they'd adapt Christian stories back to a cool modern-day environment. So this was about, called David and Mr. G. Mr. Goliath? Yeah.

So Mr. G was a mafia guy who was, like, trying to staunch out my Italian restaurant, and I was David, the little... You're just working hard, hard-working David. Yeah, but when Mr G came and got hard, I buffed a potato at him out of a ladle. And knocked him out. Oh, God.

I don't know how... Is that how David actually beat Goliath with a potato? I think it's true. Also, if you are being strong-armed by the mafia, I don't think just biffing a potato at one of them is going to fix all of your issues, so I wouldn't recommend that. Did you knock him out clean between the eyes or something with it?

Yeah, and then he was, oh, we can't mess with this ladle-launching legend. Oh, Ty Edmund, very funny man. You'll catch him tonight. Seven Days is back. TV3 tonight at 8.30, followed by Guy Williams, New Zealand Today afterwards. Absolutely.

You've got a good line-up of comedy, and it's awesome to see you. And, I mean, that was some very investigative journalism from Ben. Well, Ty Enwood, it's been great hanging out in person. We should do it again sometime. And I can't wait to watch Seven Days tonight on TV3. Cheers. I don't think you need to say hang out in person so much.

Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. Yeah, nah. The whole movie. Yeah, nah. She'll be right. And at the end of the day. Jono and Ben.

Breakfast on the hits. Now, Ben, a lot of talk about this trans-Tasman bubble. Hot topic at the moment and already As human beings One of the main reasons we're put on this earth is Rules need to be created and we need to try and bend them And the rule bending is already taking place Well that's right

People have found a little loophole In the bubble They can leave New Zealand now And as long as they stay away in Australia Basically more than April 19 they can come back and not have to quarantine get their holiday in early. That's so smart So Cindy didn't think

of that, did she? She'd be like, damn it Damn it. Her and Bloomfield would be smacking their head against the walls Damn it, Cindy But we thought, you know, because Australia and the bubble has opened up again we thought we might reflect now on your nostalgic Australian stories

of the times you got to go to Australia and the things you experienced. And we want to know the best story and we'll reward something. We'll award a prize for the best Australian story that we can get this morning on The Hits. And all expenses paid trip to Australia? Not quite as good as that.

Why not? How do you like Hell Pizza? Pretty good, eh? Almost better than Australia. Yeah, that's what I'd say. I say Hell Pizza's like having Australia inside your mouth. Yeah. So we'd say we'd be your best Australian story, Jono. What's the one thing that pops into your head

when we talk about going to Australia? Well, I remember going to Australia once and met this weird individual who had a replica Batmobile from the Batman movie series. Oh, that's right. This guy built an entire Batmobile. Actually, he wasn't weird. He was a lovely guy. Yeah. He was a lovely guy.

And he took me for a ride in that Batmobile. And I was the Robin to his Batman. And we went into his, I went deep into his Batcaves. They had that fire burner thing off the back of it. It seemed like, I don't know how this thing got a warrant of fitness. It would, like, hit the traffic lights, you could push a button, and flames would come pouring out the back of the Batmobile, and it would singe the poor Corolla behind him.

Didn't you get pulled over by the cops whilst you were dressed as Batman and Robin in a Batmobile? Yeah, there's the poor Corolla behind him. Didn't you get pulled over by the cops whilst you were dressed as Batman and Robin in a Batmobile? Yeah, there's a lot of explaining to do there as well. Isn't there? And the police start wondering

why is there a man with tight, very tight tights and not much filling out the tights? Two. Full credit to Robin. Back in the day,

he took a hit in that Batman. Because, you know, Batman was kind of full. He was catered for. Yeah. He's Batman. Because, you know, Batman was kind of, he was catered for. Yeah. He's got a well, you know,

his whole suit's well, yeah, but Robin, it's just all Robin. It's all out there. There's no hiding. It's rockin' Robin. He's rockin' it out, that's for sure.

What is your memory of Australia, Benjamin? Well, one of the memories I have is being on the Gold Coast with you, actually, Jono, and replicating the Undies, Undies, Togs ad you actually, Jono, and replicating the

Undies Undies Togs ad that we had in New Zealand and walking from the beach and seeing how far we could walk in Speedos before we stopped. And knowing you and me, like I do, none of us wanted to stop, but it was quite embarrassing walking down busy streets as we got like three, 400 metres away from the beach in Speedos. Again, rocking not much downstairs and that was a low point in both of our lives and in Australia and New Zealand relations. Why is everything involving

tight lycra themed clothing in Australia? Australia didn't deserve that. No, producer Juliet, have you got a memory of Australia that doesn't involve tight lycra? Oh yes, I very much do. When I lived in Australia when I was a child. Did you live there? Yeah, until I was about three or four.

Were you in tight lycra? Yeah, absolutely. You betcha. Nothing better than toddlers in lycra. When we lived in Australia, we had a pool out the back. Yeah, a pool. And my parents had to fish out redback spiders from our pool because they would live in our pool.

It was a saltwater pool. Oh, of course. Spiders in the pool. Seriously, no, seriously. They had to fish out redbacks before we would jump in the pool. Were the spiders in Lycra? Yes, they were. Yeah, great.

Just keep that Lycra theme going. So, 800 The Hits. We want you to phone up with your memories of Aussie because we're going to make new ones now from the 19th or now actually if you want to start bending the rules that Cindy didn't think about. 0800 the hits. What are your memories? 4487.

Give us a text and I'll stop talking like this. Extra points if they involve Lycra. We want to award the best Australian story next. Can you beat ours? Surely you can. We'll start with Katie in Wellington. Your fond memories of Australia, Katie. Hey, guys.

Hey. I was in Koolingatta in the Gold Coast, and I once won a challenge where I had to eat a three-kg chicken parma. Like a schnitzel? Yeah, like a schnitty. A schnitty. I want a schnitty eating competition.

It's such an Aussie thing to say, too. And apart from shocking digestion problems, what else did you walk away with? Oh, they gave me a free beer. Just to really fill you up. Just what you needed then. Did you say a 20kg Snitty or a 2kg Snitty?

Three. Three? Neither of the above. Either. That's a lot of kgs of schnitzel. Yeah. Too much schnitzel. Well done, Katie.

Schnitzel's not something in the regular rotate for me. Is it for you, John? We've got a schnitzel. Here we have schnitzel at least once a week. It's not a schnitzel. I don't know what a schnitzel is. I don't even know what it is. I don't know. What animal have schnitzel at least once a week. What's schnitzel? I don't know. What is schnitzel?

I don't even know what it is. I don't know. What animal does schnitzel come from? Because I eat it without any question. Where is it from? Jew? Isn't it just chicken? Schnitzel?

Is that what you're asking? No, well, the stuff I eat is brown. I don't know what animal I'm eating. You need to investigate. Do you want to Google it or not? Maybe it's not one of those situations Maybe it's the same category as a sausage We're going to Georgia and Wellington

Your Australian memories Georgia Yeah So I was going for a bit of a tramp In Queensland and ended up running Well not really running into But saw Steve and Terry Irwin

Oh it would have been cooler if you did literally run into them But you saw them, did you tour them? well not really running into but saw Steve and Terry Irwin. Oh, it would have been cooler if you did literally run into them but you saw them. Did you tour them? No, I mean I wish. You're a classic New Zealand thing, eh? You put your head down, you're shy, you don't want to make a fuss

with celebrities from Australia. Yeah, yeah. I was just kind of a bit kind of gobsmacked and starstruck and just kind of, oh my God, it's Steve Irwin. You do that classic New Zealand thing where you walk past them five, ten metres and then you yell out their name kind of under your breath.

Steve Irwin! And we get, Jollibee! I was like, well, it's just one of me. And then you tell your friends, you're like, I met Steve Irwin and he was really rude. He didn't even say one of me. And then you tell your friends, you're like, I met Steve Irwin, and he was really rude. He didn't even say hello to me. Even when I was yelling his name 40 metres away from him. We had a text here, 4487.

I was on a tour, a bus tour, and the bus stopped so everyone could nature call. And I was chased down by a kangaroo. Oh, my goodness. In the middle of the desert. Oh, wow. That's bloody good. And Barb's phone through. The wonderful Barb. Oh, my goodness. In the middle of the desert. Oh, wow. That's bloody good. Barb's phone through. The wonderful Barb.

Oh, Barb. How are you, Barb? Morning. How are you guys? Morning. Lovely to hear from you, Barb. We're reminiscing about Australia. Yep, yep.

Love Aussie. My sister lives there. So we went to my niece's wedding, and the whole family came. Dad came too, he's 89. And he got a bit tired as they do. So he and Pop, who were 91, were taxied back to the house. But apparently when they got there, they couldn't find the key to get in.

So tried all the ingenuity, couldn't find anything. So Dad said, all right, I'll go in through the dog door. And he couldn't fit in with his kilt, so he took off his kilt. And then he had to take his shirt off, so he's in his thinglet in the dundee. And now he's skinny enough

to get through the dog door. So he left off into the house, and they do locked the door and then Dad goes out the front door because he's staying in a caravan there and Pop locks the door and locks him out. So he's

naked. He's just climbed through a dog door at 89 years old. Yeah. But Pop, who was 91, was tired. So when Dad went back out to go to the caravan, Pop just locked the door and went to bed. And Dad's stuck out there in his underwear and he can't get into the caravan

because he's in the house. So he was freezing for the next hour or two. So he just went and snuggled up by the woodshed until we got home. And he's naked! Is this 89? It sounds like a scene from that movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman when they're ticking off their bucket list.

Thank you, Bar. Appreciate your calls and the bubble will be open shortly, but it is now if you want to bend the rules, go over there for two weeks and not have to come back and do MIQ. Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Five words for 5k on The Hits.

You're only five words away from a massive payday. It is our game of word association. We tell you five words, you say the first things that pop into your head. If your words match up with ours, you win $5,000. I tell you what, it's taking off like a start-up business, this Five Words brand. Now, officially last night marked the start of the Five Words World Tour, the first World Tour post-pandemic.

Very excited about that. Kicked it off in Botany in Auckland. Unfortunately, Ben, you couldn't be there due to the fact you have a sniffle. And the people were missing you, but I didn't want to say that you'd had a sniffle, so I made up some other reasons why you weren't there. Unfortunately, Ben could be here tonight. He's in a lot of trouble with the gangs.

He's got a lot of money. So he's just settling those debts. And also, he didn't want to come out to botany. He was afraid that he might have some illegitimate children that he could bump into. And I think that he's going to give it up for the illegitimate children there. And you've got some cute kids that you've never met, Ben. There's some lovely kids.

So that was the official launch of the Five Words World Tour, which I'm organising. And next week we're hitting the South Island. Although we've got no accommodation or nowhere to host the Five Words World Tour. But I'm sure the planets will align, hopefully. I feel like I'm more disorganised than the Wiggles Tour promoter when they booked the New Zealand tour and then didn't factor in that they had to be quarantined for two weeks. I feel like, what? When was this a pick?

Yeah, so if anyone could help us out, maybe with accommodation, a venue, and Ben likes to be bathed, don't you? Yeah, I do. Those are our three requirements. That'd be great if he could get in touch with us. But anyway, we'll move on with the show because Michelle, you want to win five grand. Morena, yes, I do.

Morena. What part of New Zealand are you in, Michelle? So I'm in Waikiri Valley. Oh, lovely. Between Rotorua and Taupo. Oh, it sounds beautiful. It is. Now, because Ben and Taupo. Oh, it sounds beautiful. It is. Now, because Ben's broadcasting from home this morning,

you're going to only have to send me into the booth, I'm sorry, and I haven't got a good track record. Well, you're going to be a winner for me this morning, Jono. All right, Michelle, I'll head on in. Awesome. Producer Juliette, because I obviously can't see, are you going to have to let me know when Jono's made his way in there. Oh, yes.

He's just opening the door now, closing the door, and love these live updates, and it's shut now. You're good to go. The door is shut. Jono is in the soundproof booth. Michelle, I'm going to say five words. Let's see what the first words are that pop into your head. The first word today for five words is coronation.

Coronation. Street. Coronation. Street. Coronation street. Makes sense to me. Producer Juliet, yeah, yeah. That's the one that came into my head as well. I can see you nodding away even though I can't see you nodding away. That's just the vision I've got in my head. Yes, it's correct. The next word, Michelle, is bicep. Bicep.

Mmm. Curl? Bicep. Oh, curl? Bicep curl, that's a good one. I think that's good. That was the first thing that popped into my head, producer Julia. Yeah, that was one of two for me. Okay, alright, let's not confuse Michelle with your second word.

Your next word, Michelle, is road. Road. Road, road. Block. Road block. Michelle, is road. Road. Road. Road. Block. Road block. Oh, road block. Yeah, it's tough when they get these words that have so many options that could flow on from them.

Actually, can I change that? Yeah. To works. Road works. Road works. We've got heaps of days up where I am at the moment. Oh, yeah. tell me about it. We had a very slow trip back from Tokoroa the other day because of that.

Pizza is your next word. The fourth word is pizza. Pizza hut. Pizza hut. Ah. These are good. These are good. They're really good words.

When you say them, you're like, yeah, you're right. I'm making myself nervous. No, no, you're doing so well, Michelle. And your final word this morning is kids. Kids. Kids. Oh, heck. I've got six of them, so I should know something.

Kids, kids, kids. Take time. It's all good. School. Don't take too much time, but take a little bit of time. School. School. I'm standing outside the school gate right now.

Standing outside the school gate. All right, those are your five words, Michelle. We'll get Jono back out of the soundproof booth and see if those five words match up with his. Come on out, Jono. All right. This is Julia. I'm going to go back for some commentary of you in the studio,

some live commentary. Listen, I think we need to pick up our commentary game. He's walking over to the door. He's opening the door. I'm a professional. What do you expect? He's closing the door. He's inside the booth.

That's normally how the commentary goes, right? Wonderful soundproof booth there. Did you know it's laden with asbestos I just found out yesterday? It's not. So we'll be suffering those consequences later in life. It's not.

So Michelle, I think she did pretty well, actually, and also she's got six kids, Jono, just so you know. Six children! Put a bit more pressure on you, Jono. Who is Michelle? You must be busy. I am.

Very, very. They start really early. I bet it Very, very. Day starts really early. I bet it does. There's probably not been a time where you haven't been pregnant. There's been a few years. Yeah, no, that was a silly thing to say, wasn't it? I just didn't do the maths on that. All right, we'll get into it.

Hopefully we'll win you $5,000 for you and your six children. Let's go. Here we go. For Michelle, Jono, the first word we said this morning was coronation. Street. Coronation street. Congratulations. We're one from five.

Here we go. Next word, bicep. Bicep. Bicep curl. Oh, Michelle. This is a good start. Let's go, Michelle. Get those six kids yelling in the background.

All right. I've got one crying because the rest have gone to school now. We've got a crying child. That'll do some form of emotion. And then the next word we said to Michelle, the third word was road. Road. Street? Street?

Oh, you idiot. Jolly. What did you say? You idiot. Michelle, what did you say? I said work. Road works. Well, I said street.

It was a good thought. It was a good thought. There was nothing wrong with your thought. It just wasn't right with Michelle's. Yep. What else? What were the other two? The next word was pizza.

Food? Yeah, you idiot. And finally, to round it out, the last word was kids. School? She said hut, by the way. out, the last word was kids. School? She said hut, by the way. Pizza hut. Oh, pizza hut. School?

Yes, well done. Oh, three out of five, Michelle. Hey, listen, I gave it a go. Nearly, nearly. Good honest crack. Actually, it was quite a dishonest crack, actually. I had a shocking effort, and I'm sorry. No, you're fine.

Next time. All right. Next time. Yeah, let's do it again some other day, Michelle. You have a great day. Thank you so much for listening. You too. Thank you.

Good on you, Michelle. Everyone always goes next time. There's probably not going to be a next time. Oh, there might. No, we're going to keep playing it. We're going to keep playing it. I know, but they're never going to get through again, let's be honest. They might do.

It's called a spade a spade. Broadcasting live. And mostly awake. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast On the hits Five words for $5,000 It's the game we play

Every morning at 7.45 And I tell you what Jono There's a TV ad That we filmed My daughter Indy Saw on the telly For the first time yesterday I haven't seen it on television

I vaguely remember Filming the commercial When we were filming The commercial I was like I don't know what's Going on here But hopefully

We're giving you What you need Well I hadn't seen it either And I was like, I don't know what's going on here, but hopefully we're giving you what you need. Well, I hadn't seen it either, and I was like, what did the ad look like? And her main concern was that she was like, has Jono got the same shirt as you? I was like, what? She goes, oh, a shirt with emojis,

there's smiley face emojis all over it. She's like, I was like, oh, no, that was my shirt. Jono just borrowed it. And she's like, oh, yeah. And that's all she said. That was the main bugbear with the commercial. Because, yeah, this is a highly publicised shirt, this one. We've spoken about it many times on the programme.

I know. You went off shopping on your own. You came home with a novelty emoji shirt, you know, all over it, emojis, happy ones, sad ones, crying ones. And, yeah, I did wear it for the day. Thank you for lending me your shirt. You're welcome. My wife thinks it looks like pyjamas.

But anyway, that's fine. It looks a boat of contention for your daughter, Indy. But I'll tell you what, I've hit the big time if we're sitting alongside the Briscoes lady and the COVID voiceover lady in a commercial break. I know, that's pretty cool. I haven't seen the ad. I don't know if it was prime time. I'm guessing it was sort of after school, sort of.

But not quite prime time. That's probably what they call being in the industry a contra spot. I imagine there's probably an arrangement between the hits and TVNZ, maybe. Yeah, I think you're probably right. Maybe they get some promotion on these platforms, and we do the same on theirs. But, you know, in doing so, you probably don't get those primetime slots that you're wishing for. Now, last night, you, I could be there, but you went to the pub and took the game to the pub. That's right.

The launch of the Five Words World Tour. That's right. The launch of the Five Words World Tour. That's right. It's happening. The world's been in lockdown and we are officially the first world tour to kick off. We'll be hitting Europe later on this year. Oh God. Through North America too around Christmas time. So we're going to cover it. Don't worry. Everyone's

going to get a piece of the Five Words live tour. We went to the Botany Commons pub and Jesus the Botany Commons pub and Jesus, Botany is days away. Have you been to Botany lately? Yeah. I had to go to MIQ for two weeks. I said

goodbye to my family just to get to Botany. It's a pretty awesome place, but it reminds me of the Truman Show, you know, that movie with Jim Carrey. Everything is because it's so new and set up. It all feels like you're walking around a movie set. Yeah, it's beautiful. I mean, once you finally get out there after three weeks of travel, it's beautiful.

Don't get me wrong. So, no, we went to Botany Commons, and there were some lovely people that turned up. It was a great night they put on. Everyone had free food. Wow. Everyone got a free drink. I was like, who's paying for this? Certainly not coming out of the hits budget, I tell you that.

But it was a fun night and a lot of the boys and berries, the official Ben Boyce fan club, they were missing you because you weren't there. You had a COVID test yesterday. So I had to manage their disappointment and expectations. But they gave you all a message, okay? We just want to do a big

We miss you, Ben! Did you record that bit where they said, no, we don't? Get that one out. That's savage. One, two, three. We miss you, Ben. Now, that sounded like Kim Jong-un in North Korea. Say something positive about him.

Try to make it sound a little more natural. One, two, three. We miss you, Ben. Now it sounds like I had to bully you into saying it. There you go, Ben. three. We miss you, Ben. Now it sounds like I'm going to bully you into saying it. There you go, Ben. So they did miss you out there. Yeah, I love the reaction. Say you miss you, Ben. Oh, but we don't. But yeah, everyone just sort of

fades away on that one, yeah. And when I was like, we miss you, Ben. The first one. But then I, because I didn't want to say you'd had a COVID test. I know you get a bit funny about that. So I had to come up with other reasons why you weren't there. Just on the spot stuff. Unfortunately, he's in a lot of trouble with the gangs.

He's got a lot of money. So he's just settling those debts. And also, he didn't want to come out to botany. He was afraid that he might have some illegitimate children that he could give up into. And I think that he's given up the illegitimate children there. And the kids were there. There were kids there. Oh, there was? They say, I love you, Daddy. They looked like you. They did.

They just want to see their Daddy. Oh, God. So I hope you were okay with those excuses. You gave away some money last night, though. A load of money, yeah. Probably about $2,500 overall. So it was cool. So you could play five words live. I'd put on sound-cancelling headphones,

noise-cancelling headphones, and then try and match up. Matched up with a couple of the... Had groups play together, so they'd all decide on the word together. That was fun. You had people come up. That was great.

So the world tour continues on. We're going to hit the South Island next week. We're coming for you, South Island. Watch out. You keep saying this, but we have no accommodation. We have no pub. We have nothing booked. That's why I vaguely keep saying we're coming for you, South Island.

I don't know whereabouts in the South Island. I don't know whereabouts we're going to end up. But I promise we'll be there next week. Juliet's booked in, ain't you? Yeah, I think so. I've written it in my calendar. Apparently sometime next week I'm going to the South Island. She's blocked out the week.

Ben, can we get you a confirmation from you? Yeah, I can make it if it's happening, but I don't know where we're going. The five words will do it. Mo's on. I'll have to get on to booking the Europe accommodation as well. There's a lot of admin to happen. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm.

Shono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Kia ora, I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees and this is the B***h News. If you prefer to figure out your news headlines through an unnecessarily slow and mildly amusing route, then this is the part of the show for you. Juliet, what do we do here? So I hunt out some weird and odd news stories that I think might be quite mildly amusing and beep out a word and you guys have to guess what that word is.

All right, let's roll the first one. All right. Has been named Russia's hottest man. Who has been named Russia's hottest man? Oh, I'm going to give it to my bald-headed friend, Jono Pryor. They've heard about you in Russia, and they're like, wow, he's a catch. But I've never been to Russia. I know, but they've got Google over there, haven't they?

It'd be unfair for me to claim that title. I'm going to say a man with a name I'd probably struggle to pronounce has been named Russia's hottest man. Well, true. Vladimir Putin has been named Russia's hottest man. Putin wins hottest man. Putin. Did he rig the voting?

Because, you know, he rigged the US election. I mean, we're not completely sure, but it, he rigged the US election. I mean, we're not completely sure, but it was a survey of a thousand men and a thousand women. I mean, that's very much not the majority of the population in Russia, but it's a little sample size. And no one has seen those that voted against Putin. No one's seen them since. He's got those magnificent photos that did the rounds of him, you know, like topless on a horse, you know, with no shirt on. It was great. Majestic.

Remember those? Yeah. The one I'm seeing him here that they've put attached to the article, he's sort of relaxed on a deck chair on a boat with his shirt off, just holding up a fish. Ha, ha, ha. Yes. He's quite cut, isn't he, Putin? Yeah. Yeah, he's got some big bosoms.

Would you define that as sexy, Jono? Listen, he's a pasty, bald, white guy. I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say yes. We'll get on to the next headline. District in Japan, bands walking wild. Bands walking while... I'm going to say listening to the John Owen Bend podcast on iHeartRadio.

It's just too funny and too distracting. That's what I'm hoping is the right answer. And great plug for the podcast. Yeah, I just needed a plug, basically. That's why I said that. Asked to get that information out there. I'm going to say District in Japan, bands walking while on those very dangerous shoes, which also double up as roller skates.

You know those ones that kids wear? Oh, the wheelie shoes. Yes. They're just waiting for an ACC claim. Those are the funnest things ever. I love those. You've got to have some confidence walking around on those. Yeah.

Well, did you both give an answer there? Yeah. Okay. Some of the best answers you'll ever hear. Benny even got a plug for the iHeartRadio. Oh, yeah, that's right. The iHeartRadio one. That's right. Okay, the best answers you'll ever hear. Ben even got a plug for the Ohio Radio. The Ohio Radio one. That's right. Okay, the answer is...

District in Japan bans walking while on the escalator. Not as exciting as your guys' answers, but if you've been to Japan, and Ben, you haven't, you know that it's very important to stand on one side so that you leave the other side for people walking. It's very important. But this particular district is banning it just apparently to crack down on injuries

because everyone's in a rush. Oh, escalator etiquette. So I always find that pressure when you're on the escalator but you take the supermarket trolley on and it just locks in. And you're just blocking both passages. And it's a bit of a situation, isn't it? You can't move it. That's the thing. It's locked in there and people can't go around.

You're like, oh, this is the slowest escalator trip ever. I was on a Westfield Moor one the other day, and it looked like it wasn't working, so it was stagnant. And I was like, well, this is going to be one of those moments where you feel like a giraffe learning to walk as you sort of stumble down an escalator that's not working. But then as I stepped onto it, it takes off. Wait, it's an automatic one, is it?

Automatic, obviously conserving electricity and power. Wow. But it really catches you off guard too when it just starts firing up on that first step. That would really throw you. I imagine there's a lot of elderly people on security camera that we should definitely get on YouTube

who have fallen victim to that. And let's go with the final news story. Man cooks chicken by f***ing it 135,000 times in eight hours. What do you reckon, Benny?

I reckon he, well chickens, they love crossing the road. I reckon he's taken it across the road 135,000 times on a hot day and it's cooked the chicken.

That cardiovascular exercise has warmed it up. I'm going to say the man put it in the oven 135,000 times before realising he hadn't actually turned the oven on. Man cooks chicken by slapping it 135,000 times in eight hours. What? Yeah, so this was a theory that was made quite a few years ago

by a man who was very into his physics. And so this guy on YouTube now decided to test it out. And so he built a contraption that would automatically slap it for him. It was like a motor-powered robot arm. And it just slaps it constantly for eight hours. And it cooked the chicken through the heat of the slapping. So it just beat the chicken into... Pretty much.

Wow. Isn't that bizarre? I'm sketchy with chicken at the best of times, you know, as far as it being cooked and salmonella and stuff, but having it, it's just been slapped and you're going to eat it? I don't know. Yeah, pounded to death. Yeah.

The choking one. Does that work as well? No, I think that's something else if you're doing that. I think, yeah. Is it? No. No, I think that's something else, yeah. Because I can give that a go this weekend.

Okay, all right. And that is News and Beeps. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Scrolling through your feed. Oh, it's time for scrolling through your feed already. My favourite part of the programme, without a doubt, Benjamin Boyce.

Really? Yeah, well, top five. I'll go top five. Definitely top five. This is live from his kitchen. Benjamin Boyce, this morning I tell you what's cooking for breakfast. It smells like some mildly interesting topical news stories, Ben. Indeed, because New Zealanders over the last 12 months,

these are some of the unusual things that we've claimed insurance for when it comes to motor accidents. One woman experienced a horse jump on her car bonnet as she was driving past. Both the woman and the horse were unharmed, but the rental car she was driving afterwards was written off. How's that?

A horse jumping on your bonnet. When she was driving down what, like a state highway or something? Yeah, apparently, yeah. Just a horse jumped onto the bonnet. We had an incident with a rental car, didn't we? I was driving it the other day, and I drove it into a wall,

and Ben was like, oh, that sounded bad, and I was like, don't worry, it'll pop out. No. And then we got out of the car, and it wasn't going to pop out. Someone else lost control of their car while re-tying their bikini top.

Trying to multitask at the same time. And this is my favourite one. You always double knot a bikini, wouldn't you? Yeah. How does a bikini top become undone? If you don't double knot it. And a customer was parked in a car park

and they noticed someone else's car wasn't going, so they decided to help push them out onto the road. Things got a little out of hand as they pushed them, and they pushed them, and they ended up into a pole. And that caused over $2,000 worth of damage for a car that wasn't going. What, just pushing a car? Yeah. Would it be rolling in at, what, like three kilometres maybe?

You would have thought so. Maybe it was on like a downhill or something. I don't know. Oh, you with your wacky insurance claim news. And Kiwis, of course, are racing to get over to Australia now. The travel bubble is going to be open from April 19. But there's been a bit of a loophole found by some people. So if you fly over to Australia now and you stay longer than April 19,

you can come back. You can have your holiday and come back and not have to sort of go into quarantine because the bubble will be open. Oh, I see. It's go for a two-week holiday. Yeah. And you come back. And you pass the threshold.

Great. I love it how people always find loopholes when rules are put in place. Yes, it's true. You were doing one. Was it you doing one at that car park? No, I told you about it. Someone was telling me about it when I was parking my car. And I was like, no, I told you about it. Someone was telling me about it when I was parking my car and I was like, no, I can't

do this. But they got a shopping trolley and they basically walked up to the barrier arm to release that and their car had already been parked in there and then they basically looked like they'd just arrived with a shopping trolley. But the car had been parked there for two weeks.

Yeah, I was like, that's... So you roll in, you park your car for two weeks. With a trolley. Yeah, you arrive back and then you get a brand. Yeah, I was like, that's... So you roll in, you park your car for two weeks. With a trolley. Yeah, you arrive back and then you get a brand new ticket. I was like, oh, not for me. Not for me, guys. Not for me. That is definitely for you.

You love to save a coin. I do love to save a coin, but I don't want to go to jail, man. What are you in for? Oh, gosh, I discounted parking at the airport. In fact, I want to chuck this open on a rogue text poll. 4487, what are some loopholes that we don't know about? Much like this Australian trans-Asman bubble one. I know there'll be many people who work maybe in the car industry.

How to get a discount when you're negotiating with a vehicle. How to get an upgrade at a hotel. Maybe you work for the airlines. What's the best, easiest way to get an upgrade at a hotel. Maybe you work for the airlines. What's the best, easiest way to get an upgrade? 4487, give us the loopholes this morning. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits.

By the WhatsApp by doco.nz. Listen, the next part of the show could be completely made up by Juliet and I would be none the wiser. So here for some news that may or may not be true, Spy Entertainment. This one is true. Now Kanye West is releasing a documentary

that's essentially been 21 years in the making. It's been sold to Netflix for $30 million and it's going to include never-before-seen footage from the last 21 years of his life. I love never-before-seen footage. It's my favourite type of footage. They always promote it as that, don't they? Never seen before.

And so it'll obviously cover his marriage and divorce with Kim Kardashian, his music and fashion career, his presidential run. It'll literally... He's 43, so from his 20s, it'll basically be his life from then. So is this a documentary or is this just a collection of cell phone videos he's taken over 21 years? Probably a bit of both, I'd say.

Oh, that's good. I'm sure it'll go gangbusters. I'll be watching it. Yeah, we all will probably be watching it. Will you be watching it, Benjamin? Yeah, he's really interesting. I find Kanye fascinating because he's almost like he's a genius with some of his creativity at some stage.

And he's done so many amazing things over the years, but obviously a lot going on, which you kind of want to see what's happening behind the scenes. Yeah, I do. He's going to be one of those people that when he passes, we're going to go, shee, he was good, he was a game changer. He'll be one of those people that when he passes, we're going to go, shee, he was a good, he was a game changer. He'll be one of those people that when he does, there'll be just so much fascination with him.

Like, you know when Michael Jackson passed away? I think he made more money once he passed away than when he was alive because the fascination with him increased. And I feel like that would happen with Kanye. Here's something I found interesting the other day that I didn't know about Kanye West. So one of his first songs was called Through the Wire. And apparently he wrote it and recorded it after he'd been in a major car accident. And his jaw was basically wired shut.

And he was basically rapping the song Through a Wire in his jaw. And that was one of his songs because he couldn't actually open his mouth because of the car accident. It was part of the procedure that he got. Wow. How's that? So one of his first songs, Through the Wire, is actually him with a wide jaw. It'd be a shambles to

live with though, wouldn't it? He'd be up at all sorts of hours. He'd be like, come to bed, mate. He'd be very unpredictable with what he was up to. We heard a story about someone, I can't remember, someone through someone. Make it more vague.

Make it more vague. Make it more vague. It was like three o'clock in the morning and this person was in the music industry and they got a call and they're like, hello, and they're like, Kanye wants you to come down to the studio right now. You can meet him, you can record with him. So this person got up and drove like three hours

down the coast in America, turned up to the studio, the producer was just packing up and they're like, oh no, Kanye went home. Oh. He was like, he had had enough. He decided enough was enough. And he's like, could someone have texted me? Or, you know, done that thing on maybe a WhatsApp group.

Yeah. Or called even. Yeah. Oh, Kanye does what Kanye wants, right? And that's a quick spy update for you. For more, you can head to thehits.co.nz. They're proud of New Zealand. Woo!

Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on The Hits. That is our show for Thursday. Been lots of fun hanging out with you guys this morning, even though I haven't been hanging out with you guys in the studio. I've been at home in my kitchen weirdly yelling, and my family will be looking at me strangely

because they don't get to hear you guys, Jono, you and Juliet. They just hear me and weird pockets of yelling from me in the kitchen. Yeah, right. All while they're trying to get ready for school and work and have their cereal and toast and Dad's like, ha ha ha, coming up next at 7.50.

A literal breakfast while they're having breakfast. I mean, not everyone gets to experience the joy of a real-life radio show. And if you're wondering why Ben is actually broadcasting from home, we've contractually agreed that we will never be in the same room again together. And so he hasn't come in for ethical reasons, which I appreciate. Thank you very much for sticking to that, Ben. Before we go, though, a new favourite of the show. It's Jono Pryor's Internet Wormhole.

Send out a search party because he's got lost on the internet again. I tell you what, I got clickbaited a beauty on Uber. Have you heard of Uber? Yes, I've heard of Uber, yes. Very popular ride share service. Here are four jaw-dropping Uber facts. Did you know in America they have Uber kittens? Where in seven US cities,

you have the option of buying cuddle time with a real-life kitten, and they come in 15-minute increments. What do you mean? So they bring over a kitten to your house? Yeah, and 15 minutes to me seems like almost too long for a kitten petting. I'm good for probably seven minutes.

Yeah, you're right. I'd just be filling in the remaining eight minutes. But Uber Kittens is a thing, and a lot of the money goes to animal shelters. Oh, that's a lovely thing, isn't it? Lovely. In Paris, for a brief period there, they had Uber Moto, where you could hitch an Uber ride on the back of a high-powered motorbike. The program was discontinued in 2013.

We lost many, many wonderful guinea pigs on that one. Uber Moto. Oh, so people just hopped on the back and away they went, but too fast. Too fast, and there was a couple of fatalities, and God bless those people. Oh, jeez. Do you know in the United States

that the majority of Uber drivers are military veterans? Really? Almost 85%. I wonder why that is. Well, I guess they come back and... True. What do you do? Just a little side hustle?

Yeah. Do you know? Well, you probably don't know any of these facts, so I'll stop saying do you know. But Uber is in 173 countries and does over 5 billion trips a year. Wow. 5 billion trips a year. And it was formed by a university dropout. A guy who failed university and just started this up with a friend, like a fund me, crowdfunding.

Weren't they travelling somewhere and they were getting frustrated trying to hail, you know, like to get taxis, to wave down taxis and they were like, there's got to be an easier way and this was the easier way. They always chuck out those facts. This was formed by a high school dropout. But the fact is, the majority of losers like me will never start a billion dollar business, so.

Well, that's true. And those were mine. And they're really interesting facts. Oh, thank you, Benjamin. You guys have yourself a great day we'll catch you tomorrow for a Friday

what more Jono and Ben you can wake up with the boys weekdays from sex on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast friends of skinny

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