Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 16 - We Caught Up With The Wizard Of Christchurch!

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

Hello! Today we broadcast from Christchurch again, but this time from Black Betty Cafe with our Free Coffee Fridays! We caught up with the famous Wizard of Christchurch and talked about how he became a wizard in the first place, whether he owns a TV and the story of his car that has two front ends! We also had a bit of an emergency in the hotel where the fire alarm went off, and we wanted to know about the most embarrassing evacuation you've ever had - one lady had to evacuate a building while getting a mammogram! Enjoy the show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Today, broadcasting out of Christchurch, yelling loudly at the back of a cafe. Hello, man. What's your name? Come on in here. What's your name? My on in here. What's your name? My name is Dilnor. How are you going?

Good. How are you guys? I listen to you every day, every morning. Awesome. It's why I want to see you. Come over here. Give us a hug. Come over here.

Lovely. Did you get a free coffee? No, not yet. Get a free coffee. You know you're part of the podcast intro now we're doing the podcast intro right now it's loose as we don't care about this you don't have to be on TV listen to jump in here Ben will come around we're in the middle of the podcast intro. Did you listen to the show today? Yeah, of course. Oh, not today. Today I am biking.

Sorry. Every day apart from today. So I'll tell you what was coming up on the show that you missed out on. It was a wonderful programme broadcast from this cafe. Can you believe it? Sorry for that. But today is, you know, casual Friday.

So biking, yeah. Oh, casual Friday, so biking, yeah. Oh, casual Friday biking. Where do you work? Just near to Davidson Legal. Oh, you're a lawyer? No, no, no. Assistant. A lawyer's assistant, all right.

A lawyer wouldn't come for a free coffee. A lawyer wouldn't come for a free coffee. An assistant would. Lovely to meet you. Nice to meet you. Thank you so much for listening. Have a good one. There we go.

Being a lawyer, if you're getting any trouble, I know you're much for listening. Have a good one. There we go. Ben Boyce, a lawyer. If you're getting any trouble, I know you're up to shenanigans all the time. There we go. We've got a contact now. Oh, that's good to know. On the podcast today, we gave away our first tickets that we don't have for 660. Yeah, we did. Jump in the gun a little bit, but not so much because we're going to get them.

It's inevitable we're going to get them. We've just got to sit through five seats or 50,000 seats. Yeah, and we've got some great advice from someone who ran 1,000 kilometres over 31 days, which on average is 32km a day. And they didn't have rest days, which I found quite surprising. Well, we were hosting the Five Words World Tour last night in Christchurch, and I spoke to another lady who has the record for the most amount of marathons run. 101 marathons she's run.

Wow. Only in like 10 years. Really? So she just mows through four or five. What would that be? 10 a year. 10 a year. Yeah.

That's crazy. Thanks for doing that, Matt. Because yours was not good. Yeah, I was not pulling that off at all. At all. Enjoy the podcast and we'll catch you Monday from 6. They're proud of New Zealand. Woo!

Go New Zealand! If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben. New Zealand's breakfast. On the hits. Now, we're staying in Christchurch at the moment, and yesterday afternoon as we were getting ready to go to the Five Words World Tour, there was high drama in the hotel.

The fire alarm went off. Yeah, this panicked everybody. And Ben, you thought you set the alarm off with actions you were doing. Now, we all know how old Snoop Dogg over here likes to talk, right? So I don't know if that had any part in it. I put the iron on. Just ironically, I just put the iron on. Is that what you call it now?

No, I put the extra iron on to iron my shirt because we were going out. I'm not trying to look respectable. And, you know, we're going to a pub. We're representing the hits. So I put the iron on. I was about to iron my shirt because we were going out. I'm not trying to look respectable. We're going to a pub. We're representing the hits. I put the iron on. I was about to iron my shirt and just went into the bathroom while the iron heated up. Then I'm like, as soon as I went into the bathroom, the alarm went off. I'm like, uh-oh, I have set the fire

alarms off. Fortunately, it wasn't me, but it was quite high drama. I love how when the drama was going on, instead of getting your stuff and leaving, you got out your phone to record it. Yeah. Have a listen. Using the nearest fire exit.

I'm like the captain of the Titanic. I'm going down with the ship. And if I'm going down, there's going to be some audio we can play on the radio. But it's, what were you doing? Were you going to escape the hotel? Had you left the room? I was sort of, I was in various stages of getting ready

because obviously I didn't have my shirt on at the time because I was about to iron my shirt. So had I had to leave, it would have been a very embarrassing evacuation. Yeah, that's what we want to chuck out. 0800 the hits. Embarrassing evacuations. Have you been caught short

when you've had to evacuate either your house, work, hotel, motel, whatever, Airbnb? I don't know if I can give any more examples of where people say and could be evacuated from. I had one at a hotel in Australia once. Went over there for work by myself and I ordered like a breakfast and it was just toast and a coffee. But they gave me a toaster. They turned up with a toaster to make your own toast. I was like, okay.

So I put that down again. Same situation. Put that down, went into the bathroom and then suddenly the fire alarms went off because the toast had sort of started smoking. And then within 30 seconds there's a guy with a fire extinguisher at the door from the hotel. I'm in my underpants and then a minute later there was two

firemen coming into the room and I had to walk outside in my underpants. They say, I was like, it's just a toaster. It's just a toaster. It's fine.

It's fine. But I had to walk outside of the hotel in Sydney in my underpants. Did you have to like have your hands over your, you know, embarrassingly hunched over?

I said like, wait out there, sir. And I'm like, it's just a toaster. It's not burning now. I've turned it off. And they're like, no,

because there's no windows. You couldn't open any windows. Maybe it was just punishment for you setting off the alarm. I'm here with Ma who's just turnedaster's stopped burning now. I've turned it off. And they're like, no, because there's no windows. You couldn't open any windows. Maybe it was just punishment for you setting off the alarm. I'm here with Ma, who's just turned up here from Bluff. How are you? Oh, I'd just like to have a chat to you fellas. Good. Yeah.

Nah, good. Thanks for coming. Well, thank you for coming too. What's going on this weekend? Well, you know, I just was cruising on my way to work, getting a coffee. Saw the sign, free coffee. What the? And then John and Ben, and I thought, oh, this is.

So, no, it's not. I love how you're censoring yourself. I'm a childhood teacher. Yeah, you're good. Yes, blessed is this Friday. Thank you for free coffee. True Black Bettys. Ma from the South, yeah. Over and out. What an intro.

So good. And she wants a live selfie too while we're on the radio, Ben. Here we go. We're talking embarrassing evacuations right now in 0800. The hits last night, we had to be evacuated, almost evacuated from the hotel. Ben Boyce was stark as ironing a shirt. Yeah.

And he thought he set off the fire alarm. This is what it sounded like. Sorry, Max, I didn't give you any warning. Very alarming alarm, that one, isn't it? It was. Fortunately, it didn't go on for too long, but we wanted to know what's your embarrassing evacuation situation. Now we've got Sarah on the 0800, the hits.

How are you, Sarah? Oh, I'm great. Great. You won five words. I did, I did. She's a five-word winner. Oh, yeah, great. Great. You won five words. I did. I did. You're a five-word winner. Oh, yeah.

Well, hey, we'll have you back any time. You won five words earlier this week. Has it really sunk in since you won? Oh, yep. The money got put in the bank account today. I was quite impressed. Oh, that's good. That's good. Oh, it gets wire transferred as well.

Very suspicious. I don't know why. Maybe we transfer it from our account on the Cayman Islands, our tax haven. But Sarah, what was your embarrassing evacuation, matey? Well, it wasn't me. It was actually my brother and sister-in-law. They were in Samoa on their honeymoon when that tsunami hit

and they were... The alarms went off. At the hotel they were at, the alarms went off probably about five, ten minutes earlier than everyone else's and they had to gap it up the hill in their, well, so-called pyjamas and leave everything behind. So it was freaky for them. So they evacuated a tsunami.

Jeez, you'd be terrified, wouldn't you? Hey, well, Sarah, listen, thank you very much for the embarrassing evacuation. Well, not really embarrassing. It was scary, I'd say. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Did was scary, I'd say. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Did you miss the brief? Yeah.

I tried to tie it back into what the... It wasn't embarrassing. Oh, embarrassing. Yeah, I was. I was really worried about it. Well, in the underwear, that could have been embarrassing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well, there you go. That's embarrassing, but also terrifying at the same time. Thank you very much, 0800, the HITS telephone number, embarrassing evacuations. Jacinta, you're on the air. What happened to you? Yeah, well, if you can imagine how you felt when that alarm went off, imagine how I felt

when I'd gone to my mammogram check and I was in the flimsy gown and that's all I had on and it goes off. And no, it's not a drill. We all had to leave. And the worst thing that out there,

public can see, is a windy day. It's a mid-memory check. Oh, jeez, the mammogram going on. And surely they have, like, something that you chuck over. Like a robe or something? Sure.

Do they? Anything they have, trust me, is too flimsy for how windy a day that was. How long were you outside for? The doctors got to see far more of me than they planned to. You had a full body check-up that day. Thanks to the wind.

Thank you very much. Really appreciate that on the text. Some wonderful text coming through here as well. I was at a Snoop Dogg concert in Manchester and all of the fans of the snoop dog they had set off the uh the smoke alarms obviously funny that and the concert got evacuated four times what they let they got everyone out they got all the smoke out everyone back in the store they lit up again evacuated again four times wonderful stuff and another one here Let's just say we were finishing an intimate moment, me and my partner, and the alarm went off.

We had no time to put on any clothes. We were wrapped in the duvet from the bed between us both, like huddled around in a duvet with nothing on underneath. So thank you so much. That's something out of a rom-com. Are we going to go to Ruby? No. Is Ruby still there, Max? Ruby's there. Oh, Ruby, you so much. That's something out of a rom-com. Are we going to go to Ruby? Nah, there's Ruby. Is Ruby still there, Max? Ruby's there.

Oh, Ruby, you're on. Yeah. You've got an embarrassing evacuation. Yes, I do. What happened to you? Yeah, so this wasn't during my gap year and I was overseas in Canada and I was staying in a hotel by myself and I almost

slipped through the fire alarm and I embarrassingly walked out hotel by myself, and I almost slept through the fire alarm, and I embarrassingly walked out while everyone was outside, and they looked at me. Who sleeps through a fire alarm? Yeah. Can we play the audio of the one that went off in our hotel again, Max? You slept through this? That would have been going for 20 minutes. Jeez. through this. That would have been going for 20 minutes.

Sleeping beauty. Thank you very much, Ruby, and cheers for all your texts and calls on this Friday. So good. Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. Coming to you from Black Betty Cafe, Madras Street, where the coffee is free and theo and Ben on the hits. Coming to you from Black Betty Cafe, Madras Street,

where the coffee is free and the guys are talking on the microphones in the cafe. Yeah, that's what we're talking about. And if that doesn't get you down here, I don't know what else will. Well, five words for $5,000 are playing after 7.45 this morning and we might choose someone from the cafe to play. Yeah, we'll do it live in here. If you want to head along, quarter to eight this morning.

Now, the wizard. He's an absolute fixture, an institution of Christchurch. An icon, you'd say, right? Yeah, I would say an icon. Probably better than an institution and fixture. Better choice of words there, Ben. But if you don't know who he is, he dresses like a wizard. He's got a wonderful wizard hat.

He's got a staff. And he's like an orator, isn't he? He talks. He does talk. Boy, does he talk. He's a great talker. And we managed to catch up with him yesterday at the Arts Centre in Christchurch. Yeah, he said, meet me at midday outside the Arts Centre.

And it felt like, he's like a stroke of midday. It felt like it was a police informant who we were going to get some sensitive information off. But anyway, we met him. And boy, oh boy, we had a wonderful conversation with the wizard. So we're here. We're off to see the wizard. The wonderful Wizard of Christ. The Custom Square Bookshop.

Yeah. Well, it's a lovely bookshop. It looks like a little caravan that's been converted into a tiny little cute little bookshop. Yeah. It's a good spot to be because people come by here, the trams go by. It's by the Arts Centre, which is the most beautiful place in New Zealand. I swear it is a magnificent place. And it just pleases my soul to avoid concrete boxes of glass everywhere,

so this is my place. So how long have you been a wizard here in Christchurch? I've only been a wizard since I got official recognition from university that I was a wizard, because you can't be a wizard by saying you are. You're just a wanker. That's all we are. But you don't claim to was a wizard because you can't be a wizard by saying you are. You're just a wanker. That's what we are. But you don't claim to be a wanker. You can't lose, can you? Wankers on the outside and on the inside. You'll never lose this game. So you've got a university

certificate that says you're an official wizard. Vice-Chancellor and Student Union of New South Wales University in Sydney. After I saved the place from all sorts of student radicals and riots by making fun of the radicals who I regard in a university in Sydney. After I saved the place from all sorts of, you know, student radicals and riots by making fun of the radicals, who I regarded as a joke, basically, they decided that they needed a wizard. It's documented. It's in the newspapers for a date. It's in my book.

I have a book out now with all the stuff in it. So I am a real wizard because I've got a piece of paper from university saying I am. That's good. Oh, well, I could bring it. It's a double proof. One is I've got better paper. Secondly, only a real wizard

could persuade a university to make him a wizard. Perfect, perfect proof. Do you... I wouldn't imagine the wizard's got a TV at home. Yeah, I love TV. Oh, you do have a TV.

You don't look like a TV guy. Oh, I am. What's the most mainstream thing the wizard watches and you can't say the news? Midsummer Murders. Oh, yeah. Because What's the most mainstream thing the wizard watches? And you can't say the news. Midsummer Murders. Oh, yeah, I like that. Because the camera work is superb.

The music is brilliant. Not too loud or too much. It's set in an idyllic English-type village full of murders and weirdos and nutters. And they really are nutty, most of them. So that's my favourite. I've seen them all about three times. It's getting annoying now.

I wish I could make some more. Now your book. You've got a book coming out about your life. It's just out now. You wish I'd make some more. Now your book. You've got a book coming out about your life. It's just out now. You'll find it on Amazon, the usual place. It's called The Fun Revolution. Jack's Adventures in Ideology Land. So you're not real name Jack?

Yeah. That's my real name. That's my name. I'm not a real person. I'm a living work of art. Oh, you're the wizard is what most people call you, right? I have no social welfare. I'm not a real person.

His parents didn't call him the wizard. Oh, did they not? I thought he was destined to be a wizard. They didn't call me Jack. They called me Ian, which is the wizard is what most people call you, right? I have no social welfare. I'm not a real person. His parents didn't call him the wizard. Oh, did they not? I thought he was destined to be a wizard. They didn't call me Jack. They called me Ian, which is the bad name for not Scottish. Ian is not right for me. I'm basically a Jack, actually. You're a Jack.

You're a Jack. You're a Jack. Well, that was the wizard from Christchurch. We caught up with him yesterday at the Arts Centre in Christchurch, and we covered many, many topics. You know, because I had to hold the recorder. My arm was, I had to amputate my arm. It was getting so

sore holding the recorder. He's an amazing talker. You can see why he does that for a job. And we also got talking about his favourite actors. I don't know why, but you started throwing out our celebrities and actors' names at the Wizards to see what he thought of their acting ability,

and it started with one of my favourites. Can I ask you, we'll rattle through some actors. You tell me if they're good actors or not. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. No, terrible actor. Oh, stop it. He's great. It's been Boyce's favourite. You can't act at all.

He looks good and he smiles a lot. He looks good and he smiles a lot. He's great. Anyway, I'll wrap this interview up. He's a nice guy. Do you like Will Smith? Yeah. You do?

Oh, he likes Will Smith. That's good. Will Smith gets... Okay, Kevin Hart. Don't know who Kevin Hart is. Oh, you're breaking Ben's

as Kevin Hart. Move on from this. Okay, I don't like this game. What about Sir Ian McKellen who played a wizard on Lord of the Rings? Yeah,

I met him. He's a wizard. Did you meet him? Yeah, well, he had to meet the wizard because he came to be a fake wizard on TV. Yeah! And as a real wizard, of course he had to meet me, so we had a chat, putting a front

page of the newspaper, wizard and meet and so on. I like him because he's got a good heart and he's been doing some wonderful things. He's helped out certain groups. He was in some very good plays and he can act almost any part. Can't you see? So you thought he did a good job of being a wizard in Lord of the Rings? Yeah, very good. Absolutely.

Man, that's lovely to meet you, mate. Icon of Christ, you. The book! The book! The book of evolution by the Wizard of New Zealand. A.K.A. Jack. Yeah, not his real name. Nothing's real about me. It's all a living work of art.

It's all fake. Wonderful, wonderful character, the wizard, isn't he? Yeah, an actual recognised wizard. He's got the piece of paper to prove it. And so if you're in Christchurch, he's one of the icons to go down and have a chat to. He loves a chat. He loves a chat.

We both looked like wizards by the end of it. I'd have grown a full beard. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Shono and Benokes with soy lattes. Mmm. Shono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Not this weekend, but the following weekend,

660 are playing the first ever concert at Eden Park. 50,000 people are going to be there and we're hoping to give away next week 50 660 tickets

with the biggest game in musical chairs sitting on seat after seat after seat at Eden Park until we sit on the lucky seat.

Could take us five minutes, could take us five days. Yes, the band have hidden the tickets under one of the seats, and apparently we will know when we sit on that seat. But there's 50,000 of them to go through first. It's going to be a huge physical feat for us, and we're in preparation right now. We thought we'd talk to this lady, who was one of the celebrities,

you'll know her on Celebrity Treasure Island. She's a runner, she's an influencer, and she's just done an amazing physical feat herself. So I thought she would be the perfect person to sort of give us some advice and train us. She's a lady who's achieved great things. And what have you ever achieved, mate? What have you achieved? Oh, I'm here this morning. I got out of bed.

You turned up to work on time? That's a wonderful achievement. Lana Van Hout is her name. How are you? I'm very, very good. I'm not too envious of you guys doing your challenge, though, that you've got ahead. Nothing compared to what you've just done.

You tell New Zealand what you've managed to do in 31 days. Lana? So I've managed to do 1,000 Ks in 31 days with no days off, all for charity. So it was for Ronald McDonald House. It was definitely hard. I ran and walked all of it. So I was for Ronald McDonald House. It was definitely hard. I ran and walked all of it. So I had a sort of split,

broke it down even every day. So it was about 33 Ks a day. And yeah, it wasn't easy, but it was all for a really good cause. And yeah, I wanted to push myself. So a half marathon is around about 20 something Ks. Is that right? Yeah, so it's 21 K's, just over 21 k's.

So you're doing over a half marathon every day, almost a full marathon, and for a whole month. For a whole month. I know. I haven't traveled 1,000 kilometers in my life. Yeah, driving that would be a mission. Yeah, when I say it to people, they were like, 1,000 k's, oh, yeah. And then I was like, yeah, that's as much a day.

And they're like, hold on, what? Like I worked it out. It's actually from Auckland to Christchurch. I was getting up early, so like sort of 5.30, 6 a.m. And then I would go for a run in the morning. I also split it up with some walking as well just so that I didn't get injured. Lazy, lazy. Don't call her lazy.

Lazy, lazy. To be honest, it's hard. It's like twice as long. I walk every day to the fridge and back it's quite interesting when I finished it's like I'd never actually allowed myself

to think oh you can have a day off or you don't have to do it today and as soon as I finished I was like to think of doing another day it was like so daunting so I was so proud of myself

when I finished there's so many families and children that are battling things that are battling things that are much harder than what I'm trying to do right now and I really, you know, wanted to do something for them and to earn some money, earn the donations and I did it.

Well, congratulations. What a wonderful thing you've done. Now, we're also doing a wonderful thing for charity. It's not for charity. Just say it's for charity. But it's not for ourselves. Lana, it's for charity. It's not for charity. Just say it's for charity. But it's not for ourselves. Lana, it's for charity. It's not for charity.

But it is hopefully to win something for the listeners of this radio show. Now, we're trying to sit on the lucky seat at Eden Park to win 50 tickets for 660. And we could sit on the lucky seat within five minutes or it could take us, well, who knows, days and days trying to sit on every seat of the 50,000 seats. So it's like a whole lot of squats. I don't know how you guys are going to be walking or how you guys are going to be going to the toilet or how you're going to be getting in and out of cars after this. Like, genuinely, for like a good week, I reckon you're going to be hurting.

On Wednesday, we went and looked at Eden Park and we just did a trial run on one row. And that was too much for my legs. What advice have you got for us? What things can you tell us? Having gone through a challenge, not like that, but a mental challenge and a physical challenge. We're all athletes. We're all athletes.

Well, firstly, I reckon it's really important that both you guys actually look the part. You know, wear something comfy that's stretchy as well. So maybe some lycra or leggings. I reckon that could be quite important. Definitely a good pair of shoes. You're going to be putting a lot of weight through them. Warm up. So I'd go for a few minutes jog beforehand, do some

dynamic stretches, leg swings, a few practice squats to limber up. And then also, while you're actually doing it, make sure that you use your glutes to get up. Put the weight through your heels. This will definitely save your knees. And also, I'm pretty sure Eden Park, is it those annoying flippy seats?

They are annoying flippy seats. Yeah. Make sure they're down. Make sure they're down when you go to sit down because you don't want to be, like, falling off ground. That's a good thing. Those are actually really good tips. This is definitely a marathon. It's not a sprint.

You know, 50,000 squats is pretty much what it's going to be. So that's, like, that's definitely a sprint. 50,000 squats is pretty much what it's going to be. So that's definitely insurance. So take your time. It's not a race, even though I know you guys would probably turn it into a race. You want people to get in behind you as well with that, because when you've got that support, it definitely helps. You're probably laughing about it now. When you

start doing it, you're going to be hurting. Both of you guys are going to be hurting. Because I imagine there was moments through your many, many moments through running a thousand Ks over 31 days that mentally it was tough. Is there any tricks and techniques that you use mentally to sort of motivate yourself and to keep going when it is tough? I think it's always that thing.

It's like, imagine why you're doing it and what you're doing it for. I think as well, it's like, imagine what it's going to feel like when you complete it. Because if you can like sort of feel that feeling while you're doing it, you kind of believe in yourself more and you sort of like, you know, you can actually achieve something. Plus also it's pretty cool that, you know, you guys are giving away 50 tickets. But you've just got to find that lucky seat.

Well, I don't know if 50 tickets is much of a driving force. Like half the way through I'll probably be like, we should have just bought these on a credit card. Yeah, no, we should have just bought everyone these tickets. Why are we doing this? But anyway, yeah, well, thank you so much. That's really, really handy advice. I think you guys will probably deserve a massage after this,

so I'm sure you can get some of the guys there to, you know, give you a massage afterwards, get those legs feeling better. Well, finally, Ben Boyce can feel one of my deep tissue Cambodian massages. They've spoken about for years to come. Well, thank you so much for your time, Lana. I really appreciate it. Thanks so much. You guys, wishing you all the best.

I know you guys will do it. Look after those legs and you've got this. Broadcasting live and mostly awake. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Now, earlier this week, we're talking about the names that you find a little bit, I guess, patronising. Yeah, you don't like being called Champ. Juliet doesn't like being called Hun. And ever since we did that phone topic on the... And Kiddo.

And Kiddo. And Kiddo. We call each other Champ, Hun, Kiddo. Yeah. We've doubled down on it. Yeah. So something else that I've just discovered, because we were chatting to many people last night and yesterday in Christchurch,

and someone popped down that I, you know, a friend of the family popped down, and I was having a chat to him yesterday, and he said to me something that I also found a little bit patronising. How's your little radio show going? Now, as soon as someone says, puts little in the sentence,

you feel like all of a sudden... It's quite condescending. But to be fair to him, I've seen the ratings. It is a little... I mean, we're doing a show inside a cafe. We can't even afford a studio. It is a little radio show. Yeah, but you're right.

As soon as you say little, and I'm sure he didn't intend it like that, but as soon as you say little... It's a little radio show. It feels like you should be saying it with that. Oh, you do your little radio show. You also hate it when I tell you you look tired. You're like, you find...

What does that mean? Well, when you've got bags hanging down to your knees, I don't want to say you look sprightly. I'm not going to lie to you. I was like, you look tired. You don't have to bring it up. But I'm caring for you. But you get offended when I say that.

Well, no one likes to be told they look tired. Do they, Producer Juliet? Yeah, I see both sides. If it's from someone who you know quite well and it's from a place of concern, then it's okay. But if it's a random, like, you look tired today, it's like, oh, well, thanks, mister. Next time I'm going to say you look like a sack of hammers.

Anyway, how is your little radio show going? Are you enjoying it? Yeah, I am enjoying it. I mean, it's still little, but I am enjoying it. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. It is 7.45, which means it's time for...

Five words for 5K on the hit. You're only five words away from a massive payday. It's our game of word association. We play it every day at 7.45 on the hits. We tell you five words. You say the first words that pop into your head. If they match with ours, you walk away with $5,000. That's right.

We're at Black Betty Cafe Christchurch this morning. Having a wonderful time, aren't we, Ben? Yeah. It's a wonderful atmosphere. You can come and get a free coffee, and we're going to play five words live. We have Hayden. Wrong. Connor.

Connor. Connor. Nice try, though. Thank you, guys. I even wrote it down for you in our combined sheet, but anyway. Where did I get Hayden. Wrong. Connor. Connor. Nice try, though. Thank you, guys. I even wrote it down for you in our combined sheet, but anyway. Where did I get Hayden from? You would suit Hayden, but Connor is even better for you. Now, Connor, you went for Fulton Hogan, rebuilding Christchurch.

That's what we aim to do. Yeah, and what are you working on at the moment? I'm working at Rickerton Racecourse at the moment. I'm building an all-weather synthetic horse racing track. Oh, wow. Probably a bit different to what people have mostly heard of, but it's really interesting for those guys out there. Let's them run races during the winter

and train even when it's been bad weather. It's amazing buildings in Christchurch. We were just saying this morning, the rebuild is incredible. I've noticed, especially over the last couple of years, it's really seemed to pack out in the centre city, really brought the city back to life. And has that strips amazing along the river too?

Yeah, Oxford Terrace and Riverside Market has really made the central hub of Christchurch, I feel. Hey, well, you've done a wonderful job. You have done a wonderful job. It's all on you, Connor. You did it all yourself, okay? No one else. You take the credit.

So this morning, we would like to repay you with potentially giving you $5,000, my friend. That wouldn't be a small amount of change. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? And you can use that money if you win it to pay back the cafe for all the free coffee they've given away this morning. There's a lot of people in the cafe right now.

I think I'll be sneaking out the back. Now, you've got to choose one of the two of us to play alongside with you. Do you want Jono or do you want Ben? Up to you. It's very hard. Remember, I could barely remember your name, so I'm not a safe pair of hands. I don't know. Maybe I'll be on a better wavelength with Ben. Up to you. Remember, I could barely remember your name. So I'm not a safe pair of hands.

Maybe I'll be on a better wavelength with Ben. Okay, alright. I'm going to go out of the cafe right now and I'll leave it over to you and Hayden slash Connor. I thought the soundproof booth was just you climbing into the coffee machine this morning. He's tripping over cords. It's a

shaky exit he's making from the room. He's ripped cords out of plugs. He's on his way out. Ben Boyce can no longer hear us, Connor. So the game is pretty simple. I'm going to name five words. You have to tell me the first word that comes into your head. And if they match with Ben's, you win $5,000 cash.

All right, let's do it. Benedict. Cumberbatch. Ooh, that was quick off the famous actor who spent time here. What did you call him, Producer Juliet? I couldn't pronounce his last name at one point. It's been roasting me ever since. Benedict Bumbertatch, you called him.

Okay, the second word is port, Connor. Royal. Is that the rolly... Is that the cigarettes? Port Royal? What is Port Royal? I don't think they are. It's either that or it's a typey... Is that the cigarettes? Port Royal? What is Port Royal? I don't think they are. It's either there or it's a type of drink.

Yeah, right, Port Royal. I don't know. I've been watching The Crown recently, so it's on my mind. Olympic. Games. Jeez, you're going quick here. Almond.

Milk. And the fifth and final words. Connor, to win $5,000. Environment. Environment. Game. Well. Can you ever think about it? Nature.

Nature. Not bad. Quick game's a good game. Sometimes if you overthink it, you can put yourself in a hole. Yeah, that's what I feel. It's all on first reactions. Yeah, you did well, Connor. We'll bring Ben back in.

He'll climb out of the soundproof coffee machine. I think bits of you were ported coffee just then. Yeah, I was having a lovely coffee while that went on. It was quite quick. It was quick. Quickfire, first thing that came into his head. He played a wonderful game, Connor. Alright, I'll try and sync up with Connor right now. And you could

change Connor's life. I'd love that. I'd love that. It'd be nice. A lot more pressure in real life. You're right here in front of me. Yeah, I don't know. I'd love that. It'd be nice, mate. It's a lot more pressure in real life. You're right here in front of me. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like the port's going to make or break me. Now, you can look him dead in the eyes all the way through. I don't want you to unlock eyes.

Just keep looking in his eyes. I'm going to shut my eyes. Connor, you stare him in the eyes. The first word, Benjamin Boyce. Benedict. We're at a cafe, so I'm going to go eggs. Oh, what? Benedict Cumberbatch.

Why would you sit eggs Benedict sitting in front of us? Why would you not go Cumberbatch? Connor. I should have realised it was going to be a cafe theme. Sorry. Oh, my God, Connor, I've let you down. I've let Christchurch down. Look him in the eyes.

Look him in the eyes. I'm sorry. Say sorry in his eyes. I forgive you. I'm sorry, mate. I'm sorry. Can we go through the other words? The second word was port.

Hills? Oh, Christchurch. Port Royal. Port Royal. The rolly tobacco, mate. Why wouldn't you go rolly tobacco? Word number three, George. Port Royal. Port Royal. The rolly tobacco, mate. Why wouldn't you go rolly tobacco? Word number three, Olympic. Games?

Almond. Peanut. Almond peanut? Almond milk. Okay, mate. You're a nuisance. Oh, no. Environment.

Environment? Oh, green? Oh, get him out of here. Connor. Maybe I should have picked you, John. Yeah, I should have, mate. Listen, lovely to meet you. Lovely to meet you too, guys.

Tell you what we're going to do. We're going to show you breakfast this morning, mate. Yeah. Have you got time for breakfast? Oh, I'll take a check. I should hopefully have some. Yeah, okay. We'll pay for your breakfast.

If not, we'll pay for breakfast for you for another time, all right? Awesome. Thank you very much, guys. It's a pleasure to be on. Lovely to pay for breakfast for you for another time, all right? Awesome. Thank you very much, guys. It was a pleasure to be on. Lovely to meet you, mate. Sorry. Jeez, what a shock. Add these two men together and somehow you'll get three quarters worth of a normal van.

The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Now, next Tuesday, we're going to Eden Park with a mission to play the world's biggest game of musical chairs to win 5660 tickets to give away and if you're wondering how the heck did this all happen and we're kind of wondering how the heck this happened so a 660, well here's how it all came to be. Now not too long to 660 played their historic concert

Eden Park April 24 and we're joined on the phone by a friend of the show Chris Mack, how's it going buddy? I've lived my whole life to be a friend of a show. Where are our tickets? We want to give away tickets to the show. What are you thinking? 50. 50?

50's too many. 50 years is a lot. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Only because you called me friend of the show. We'll catch up tomorrow then. Chris Mack joins us back. Have we got the tickets? I went to the guys.

I said, listen, Jono and Ben, they called me friend of show. I don't have many friends. I don't want to lose this. I was crying a little bit. That got them over the line. But if you want these 50 tickets, you have to do something to earn them. At Eden Park, if you sit in the right seat, I'll give you the 50 tickets. But there's 50,000 seats there.

Yeah. Yeah, that's right. If we go halves, it'll be 25,000 squats each. I can't help but feel partly responsible for the situation that we're in. You're fully responsible. The challenge has been accepted. We need to do some more practice. Online, there was people that break world records. They sit down fast

and they pop the balloon. 3, 2, 1. Oh, your hemorrhoids are playing up. You really do need the visuals to accompany that. Otherwise, you're like, what am I hearing? This guy's name is Jim Mouth. He's got over 30 Guinness World Records. The world record for stadium sitting is the most seats in 48 hours.

I sat in 39,250 in two days. What physical stuff did you go through? My ankles and my feet just swelling. I didn't walk for four days. Really? Dear Jesus, help me out here. Dear Jesus, we'll be praying to Jesus. Wow, so there you go.

So hearing that again, that's what happened to him. Jim Mouth, who broke the world record for the most amount of stadiums sitting in two days. Well, it could take us five minutes to find that lucky seat, or it could take us five days. Yeah, and my only fear is too, 660, they're doing their history-making gig, but we're going to steal their thunder before the gig has happened. And that's my only fear with this campaign. And it's a valid fear, too. I think you're right.

Everyone's going to be like, oh, do you hear, John, I've been... But 660's like, oh, mate, we're playing. Yeah, oh, we don't care, mate. We'll never be able to concert. John, I've been sitting in 50,000 seats. So we're going to get the tickets. That's what we guarantee. Like, whether it takes five minutes or five days, we're going to sit on this lucky seat. Well, that's the plan, right? Yeah, we're not going to give the tickets That's what we guarantee Like whether it takes Five minutes or five days

We're going to sit on this lucky seat Well that's the plan right Yeah we're not going to Don't give it up Don't give it up It's a song we keep referencing Yeah So we've got the tickets

So I feel Well we haven't got the tickets Well not physically But we're going to get the tickets In three or four days We'll have the tickets So I think it would be sensible To give away the first double pass

Without having the ticket Yeah It's a risky game It is So you want to give away the first double pass. Without having the ticket? Yeah. It's a risky game. It is. So you want to give away a double pass that we don't have. Yeah. Am I getting away on myself? Yes. Am I jumping the gun? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I am. So we'll give it away right now.

I'll 800 the hits. But I want to play a little game, okay? To win the first ever double of our 50 tickets to the 660 show. Which we don't have just yet. I love H.A. in the disclaimer. We're going to do a game where you have to try

and keep us talking to you. Whoever's on the phone at the end of 60 seconds, 660 seconds you could say, wins the double pass. So it's up to you how you want to play us. But when we're bored,

we'll move on to the next call. We'll start it off with Jessica. Morena, Jessica, let's start that timer. Max, what do you want to play us But when we're bored we'll move on to the next call We'll start it off with Jessica Morena Jessica let's start that timer Max what do you want to say Jessica? Good morning I was actually going to sing A 660 song for you guys To see if I can keep you on for 60 seconds Oh okay go get to your song

She's biding time already 10 seconds down Go I sat alone this morning And I heard What the birds had to say You're a monster if you cut her off, Jono. I thought of the people Next call up. Oh, no.

Next call up. Oh, this is no. Oh, she was good. She was good. Had to move on. Martin, you're on. Hello, mate. I just dropped these tickets

because my bloody son's nine and he's the biggest 660 fan out. It drives me absolutely bloody nuts around the house with their music. I can't, I can't, I can't. These people are... It's a lovely call, Martin, but Tanya, you're on now. Oh, you... This is how the game works, Ben.

Tanya, you're on the phone. Talk about bums on seats. This is a bit raw for the other two, isn't it? Nardine, let's get Nardine on. Oh, my goodness. Nardine, you want these 660 tickets? Oh, yes, please. Good morning,

Jono and Ben. Oh! All you said was good morning, Jono and Ben and you've got the double pass. Oh, yes. All going well.

It's all yours. Oh, thank you so much. My daughter will be overwhelmed. What a good morning for her. What a savage 60 seconds that was. There were so many lovely

stories. A lovely song that you just sang. A nine-year-old gone out the door. What are you doing? I feel bad. I was just sitting back listening to the song. I've got a weird feeling in my stomach. I feel awful about that. It's guilt.

That's what they call guilt. It's consequence. Well done. You've got a weird feeling in my stomach. I feel awful about that. It's guilt. That's what they call guilt. That's what they call guilt. Anyway, it's consequence. But anyway, Nadine, well done. You've got the double pass. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much, John, Owen, Ben. And how's the tea stacking?

You know, your cups, how did you end up? Oh, the cups. We're in a cafe at the moment trying to carry as many coffee cups as we can. And not too well, actually. A bit of a clean up in aisle four on that one. We'll start next Tuesday. At least you tried. We'll be at Eden Park sitting on those seats.

And now we've definitely got to do it because we've given away a double pass. I feel really bad about that. But as lovely Jessica was singing, I was like, in my head, our boss is like, well, you've got to cut her off. You've got to cut her off. I was thinking about our post-show meeting. I was, and I was just enjoying the song. And then when the lovely nine-year-old,

and then again I was like, Boss Todd would have gone, Cut him off. It's the game. Anyway, that happened. Won't do that again. Yeah, yeah, nah. Yeah, nah.

Yeah, nah. The whole movie. Yeah, nah. She'll be right, and at the end of the day. Jono and Ben. Breakfast on the hits. Now, as a busy parent, Ben, am I a busy parent? Yeah, you are a busy parent, particularly at the moment.

We're, you know, ready to show and doing a, filming a TV show. We're down here in Christchurch filming as well. And probably not as busy as our wives. Yeah. Who are probably doing the heavy lifting. We're sitting in a cafe, sucking back on flat whites. Yeah, well, don't tell them about that. We're doing work. We're up early and we're working. flat whites. Yeah, well, don't tell them about that. We're doing work.

We're up early and we're working. Saying words. Oh, so many words. Yeah, no, but listen, you've probably done this as well. When you pick, you know, your kids' friends up, so, you know, they've got sports and you're like, oh, as a group parent, you go and drop them off at homes and stuff like that.

You kind of help out and then it's your turn or someone else's turn, yeah? Yeah, which is good. Now, I just want to know what's the cut-off age when you don't have to walk the child into the house and have the banter, you know, the drop-off banter? Because I did it a couple of nights ago and I felt really sorry because I walked in there

and you could tell the poor people, like, here's this nuisance from the radio. He's going to want to talk nonsense. We're in the middle of our, you know, getting dinner ready, all these systems and stuff, and now we feel we have to engage in conversation with the dropper. Like, at what age can I just... You're going right in the door. Like, you're going inside.

Yeah. Is that not the done thing? Well, you can. King of light banter. Yeah, if they say, hey, come on in, that's fine. But then sometimes people say, oh, come in, and they don't mean come in. Yeah, and I think that's the territory I'm playing. Yeah, they're like, oh, she should come in.

And they're thinking, please don't come in. At what age can I just act like a courier, where I just leave the package at the end of the driveway? At what age is this like a good? I think also, too, it depends on the house as well. There's some houses, the ideal one one where you get a great vantage point from the road to the door, so you swivel there, you're like, see you later, mate, you'll see it.

They see the door, they're open, they go inside, and then you're gone. You're like, doo-doo, wave, that's it. That's a great drop-off. Yeah, I mean, I'm keen to get into the rhythm of just slowly approaching the house, not actually stopping the vehicle. The child rolls out like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, and I just keep moving on. No stopping. It's like the house. Not actually stopping the vehicle. The child rolls out like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible.

And I just keep moving on. No stopping. It's like the parties. It's great when the kids get to an age where you no longer have to attend the party. You know, not great when you're hosting the party and then you've got like 12 kids that have dropped kids off. But you know it comes around. You take the pain for one day. Because you're not obviously awkwardly standing there in the corner

while there's pass the parcel going on. You don't have to do that anymore. Yeah. You get past that point. Generally, that's all the same group of friends as well. So you end up having to have the same conversation with the same people at different parties. But all it takes is just one parent in the group to take the lead,

rip the plaster off. The others will be thankful, won't they? Yeah. You don't have to accompany your child to a birthday party. You don't have to walk them up the lead. Rip the plaster off. The others will be thankful, won't they? Yeah. Like you don't have to accompany your child to a birthday party. You don't have to walk them up the driveway. Once one does it, the rest will follow. It goes down like dominoes. You're like, oh, he dropped the bomb and didn't come inside for light banter.

She's only four. She's wandering the streets. Oh, I saw her. She was at the end of the driveway. There was a vantage point. I could see it was a clear view. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

We just timed that back from a selfie. That was good. Just me and Jono getting one at the cafe. We like to get a selfie everywhere we go. Yeah, we like to bully people into it. They don't want the photos. Basically, we clog up people's photo streams, and then they probably kindly delete them as soon as they walk out.

Because you don't want them clogging up, you know? No, it can get away on you, can't it? But right now, let's do some spy entertainment. Spy, the what's up by doco.nz Oh yes, here she is. Our dear millennial friend. She's our local dealer and she's ready to lay the smack down

on some celebrities. What have you got, Julie? Celebrity power couple Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez have split up after four years. They've been engaged for two years, and there was a bit of talk recently that they were kind of separating, but we weren't sure if it was true. Then J-Lo had no engagement ring on. He was a bit of a pants man, wasn't he? Was he?

Yeah, I think so. I just accused him of it. Okay. I'm sure you heard that story a couple of weeks ago where he was accused of being a bit handsy. Oh, really? Yeah, there was another girl that was maybe in the picture, which was a bit naughty. Thank God I just don't have a defamation case in my hands.

But they said that they've realised that they're better as friends and they will continue to support each other through their shared businesses and projects. So it seems reasonably amicable. Is that the word? Yeah, it is the word. It's a good word too. Thank you.

It's great words. It's probably not amicable. No, but if he's publicly saying amicable. If he's cheated, it's not going to be amicable. That is very true. That is very true. And Keith Urban, this is quite an interesting story. So he was asked what the strangest gig he's ever performed was. And he said

it was at a tiny baggage carousel at a tiny Australian airport, not a major city. It only had one baggage carousel. And he thinks it was his manager at the time promised this little concert at this airport in exchange for airline tickets. And so they started

playing on this baggage carousel and people were like, we need to get our bags. And there were only 15 people that showed up and you've got Keith Urban playing in the middle of this tiny rogue airport. Was it a concert or was he just busking? It feels like busking, doesn't it? Yeah, actually, that's probably a good point.

But isn't that quite bizarre? He stood in the middle, you know, where usually they have the ads kind of propped up and things like that. So they weren't moving. Well, airport security wouldn't have been happy with that. You're not allowed to climb on the baggage carousel. No, no.

So all I want to do is ride that thing. It's so tempting. But you don't? You don't? No, you definitely don't. He'll climb up and play a country song on there. Yeah, he'll be allowed to because he's an A-lister. And that is Spy, a very quick Spy for you.

For more, you can head to the hits.co.nz. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this., you can head to thehits.co.nz. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this.

Jono and Pam, breakfast on the hits. The hits. We're in Christchurch for a couple of days and last night we headed to the Good Home in Ferrymeads

and we played the Five Words Pub Night. It's the game we play at 7.45 each day on the show and we played it in real life. In real life,

the world tour. Second date of the Five Words World Tour last time. I tell you what, that's going to live on in Cantabrians' hearts forever. There's quite a lot of people there. There's about 100 people there playing the game, but we noticed there was a bit of a flaw in the system that we haven't had before, because normally we play it on the radio. When we'd go to try and come up with the answers or the guesses,

people would just yell out the answers. Yeah, we didn't quite factor that in, that intoxicated people would yell out answers. And there was no way around it. You heard it. You're like, well, I can't not say the word now. Or else I'd be a monster and not give this person. So we ended up giving away quite a lot of cash last night. Ben travelled down here with a briefcase full of unmarked bills, looking like a drug dealer.

And all that money's gone. A wild amount of cash went out the door last night. It's going to sink the hits. Producer Juliette, you had like a little DJ booth. Yeah, it was my debut as a DJ. That was all the sound effects and stuff. Yeah, so you were playing the dramatic music and the ding and the... Yeah, the brutal...

When you knew something would get it wrong. Oh, there you go. That's the noise. And then she'd play like a DJ. But at the end of the night, even after we'd finished the game, you put music on, but you put the bed,

like the music bed to the game. It was just a loop of the same thing. I was like, put an actual song on rather than the loop of five words music. You guys were like,

I'm going insane listening to the song repeat. I was like, okay, I'll put on a pink song then. That was a shocking DJ set, if you don't mind me saying. Thank you.

In the hotel that we're staying in, have you got a robe? You feel obliged to wear the robe that's there. I haven't worn it yet. I never wear a robe any other time, apart from when I'm in a hotel. Oh, did you put it on? Yeah, it's like a duvet for your torso.

Do you wear the robes in there? I never wear the robes. Do other people wear the robes? I'm sure they duvet for your torso. Do you wear the robes in there? I never wear the robes. Nah. Do other people wear the robes? I'm sure they're there for that reason. Do they wash the robes in between? Or do they just put them back on the coat hanger?

Well, that's something we'll find out. A robe makes you feel nice, though, doesn't it? It does. And the little slippers. Yeah. Slide-on slippers as well. I didn't know. Are they white slide-on slippers?

I didn't find that. Yeah, there are some of those. They haven't put them on yet, though. Yeah. And you always go, oh, we'll take those home and I'm going to wear those forever. Are you allowed to take those home? I think. Well, hopefully they don't go on other people's feet. We'll put those back in circulation.

Anyway, it's fun. It's fun being on the road. And I'm very delirious and tired. So we'll see if we can even make it till 9 o'clock this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Scrolling through your feed.

Yes, indeed. It's time to roll out our adorable little news weasel, Benjamin Boyce. Cute little weasel. What's been happening, mate? Well, of course, the world is in various stages of lockdown, and in Canada, they can't sit in Parliament in the House, so they're having a virtual sitting

where all the MPs go over basically like Zoom, but it's broadcast live to the world on the internet, and one of the MPs, a Canadian MP, was caught naked in his house during it. Now, he'd come back from a jog, didn't realise his video was turned on, and just decided to get changed in the live Zoom. Yeah, now, I've looked at the image of this poor fella. His video was turned on and just decided to get changed in the live Zoom.

Yeah, now I've looked at the image of this poor fella. He's kind of the whole time got an appropriately placed cell phone that he's holding. Just by pure coincidence in an ideal location. So everything's not fully on display. But I'm like, he's in his office. He's got Canadian flags draped on poles. And it seems like an unusual place in the house to be butt naked. Like if you come in from a jog, surely you're naked in the bathroom,

your bedroom, not your office. Like it looked like one official office. Things didn't match up. But it caught a few people, the old naked Zoom, isn't it, over the last year or two? It has. Another MP responded saying it's necessary to remind the members, especially the male ones that a tie and jacket

are necessary as well as a shirt boxes and pants as well. So they put out an official statement. Has there been any headlines about like

parliamentary member or Oh there's not there should be. I haven't quite fully formed the headline but chuck parliamentary member

in there and it's a great innuendo. And Australian Navy cargo ship yesterday was unveiled. We saw this on the TV. I didn't know what was going on because the TV was on mute. So they got a new ship for the Navy in Australia, and they had a big celebration to unveil the new Navy boat, and someone decided it would be good to have a group of dancers,

some females, in sort of racy outfits, and they were basically just twerking. They were twerking. The launch of this Paraison as well. Very prestigious event. Like, you know, Army generals and Navy generals and chiefs. Signatories and politicians. And someone had boxed, like, about a dozen twerking dancers

who looked like they were sort of maybe from a half-time at an NRL game or something. Yeah, like sort of maybe from a half time in an nrl game or something yeah yeah like sort of my cheerleaders or something you're right and they hadn't adjusted their performance for the conditions they hadn't read the room like they were yeah yeah it was charlie it was tiktok charlie d'amelio and i was like even on why why are they there to launch the navy showbook them someone like yeah yeah that'd be great but everyone looked quite shocked at the I was like, even on, why are they there to launch the Navy ship? Who booked them? Someone like, yeah, yeah, that'd be great. But everyone looked quite shocked at the crowd.

Well, no one could really get into that sort of thing on that occasion. So there you go. I mixed up with the bookings, perhaps. And that is what is making news this morning. Oh, you wanted the marching band, not the twerking band. From around the world. Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben.

The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Let's play the name game. Yes, this is a game show where you tell us your name and we end up in an absolute flap for 30 seconds trying to give you clues about famous people with the same name. Yeah, we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves on this game. It's good, it's good. A bit of early morning pressure.

Nothing like that to get you up and going for a Friday morning. So we have someone on the phone and we're going to play this in real time with Annabelle who's here at Black Betty's Cafe Christchurch. You come on down, get a free coffee till nine o'clock, Black Betty's, Moudras Street.

Moreno to you, Annabelle. How are you? Hello, I'm good. How are you? Yeah, good. Thank you very much. And on the phone we have Jolene. How are you, Jolene? I'm good. How are you? Yeah, good. Thank you very much. And on the phone, we have Jolene. How are you, Jolene? I'm good. What do you do?

I work at the Meatworks and I deliver the New Zealand Herald. Oh, wow. Those are two wide and varied jobs. Yeah. Yeah, well,

the Meatworks and the Herald. There you go. Do you ever get meat juice on the Herald as you're delivering the paper? No.

No. No. You wash your hands between jobs. Very good at your job. Who would you like to play first, Jono? Oh, listen, I'll play with you, Jolene. So we've got 30 seconds. You've got to try and name as many famous Jolenes. Or we'll go Joes as well.

Okay. Do you get called, Jo? I do. Yeah, so Jolene, Joes. Yeah, basically anything around there to help Jono out. He's quickly Googling right now. Okay. All right, we've got 30 seconds. All right, are you ready, Jolene, Jo's, yeah, basically anything around there to help Jono out. He's quickly Googling right now. Okay, all right, we've got 30 seconds. All right, are you ready, Jolene slash Jo?

All right, this is going to be hard because I don't know who's going to be on the show. Oh, well, old Legion, mate. Old Legion, you're in a safe... Shake your bare hands, to be honest, but we'll give it a crack anyway. Start the timer. Title of a song sung by Dolly Parton. Jolene. Well, one. One from one. She was a pre-tween by Dolly Parton. Jolene. Well, boom.

One for one. She was a pre-tween superstar on Nickelodeon. We can move on. Jojo Siwa. He was the star of the Tiger King. Star of the Tiger King. Mullet. Long-flowing blonde mullet.

We'll move on to the next one. US president. Move on to the next one. US president. Move on to the next one. Biden this time. I don't want to say that was shocking, but it was probably in the clue-giving, to be honest, Jolene. I'm sorry. I'll let you down.

All right. How many did we get there? One, mate. One. That's right. It's one. You're on the board. You're on the board.

30 seconds. All right. It's one. You're on the board. You're on the board. 30 seconds. Alright Annabelle. We're going to go for famous Annabelles or Ann or Annas because the Annabelles didn't quite get, you know. There wasn't many of them. Poor enough. Alright here we go. Start the timer. It's a movie about a really scary doll. Annabelle. Yeah there you go.

That's the only one I can find on Annabelle. The actor in The Devil Wears Prada. Anne Hathaway. Yes. Oh, stop. You've already won. Oh, yeah. Kiwi actor won an Oscar with a piano, was in True Blood.

Oh. No, we'll move on. Sister of Elsa in Frozen. Anne? Anna, yeah. Anna. The other daughter of Queen Elizabeth. The only daughter of Queen Elizabeth.

Princess. Oh, we got two. We got two. That's a one. We just scraped across the finish line there this morning with the name game. Well, listen, Jolene, you know how this works. Even if you lose on this show, Ben Boyce gets guilty, feels guilty, and sends you out a prize regardless.

Rendering this whole exercise pointless. I'm going to send you out a meat pack and a New Zealand Herald subscription. We're going to subscribe you to premium. You're getting the top-notch Herald. We'll find something for you from our prize cupboard. Thank you so much for listening this morning. We appreciate it.

That's all right. Good on you, Joanne. Thank you, Annabelle, too. No worries. Come on down. We're at Black Betty's Cafe, Christchurch, Madras Street. We've got free coffee.

We've got can-do attitudes. Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Let's look at some entertainment news. Spy, go WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Yeah, this morning we're coming to you live from Christchurch's Black Betty Cafe, Madras Street. You can come and get a coffee.

Actually, producer Juliet, you studied across the road from here, and as a poor broadcasting student, she would come here and eat the leftovers from other customers. Now she returns as a poor radio producer, still eating leftovers from other customers. It's getting kind of weird, isn't it?

It is. You're weirding us out now. It's a bit of a habit, isn't it? She's literally licking hollandaise off a man's plate right now, and here she is with Spy. So Prince Philip's funeral is going to take place New Zealand time, Sunday at 2 a.m.,

so all the royal fanatics will probably be up looking at that. But something that I found very interesting is that he will be taken to his resting place in a bespoke Land Rover that he designed himself for his own funeral. He started designing this in 2003, finished designing it. He thought he was on the way out in 2003. I know. What's this for this in mind?

Yes, yes. So it's kind of like a hearse, but Land Rover version. He finished designing it in 2019. And because he spent his whole life with Land Rovers. They love them on the farm and stuff. The Queen drives around and watches. Yeah, they love them. And so he obviously wanted that for his own funeral and spent... 17

years designing it. Yeah. Wouldn't he just go, hey Land Rover, can you make me what you've got, but a hearse version? Like surely that's the design process. Well, true. Like why did it take him 17 years? Yeah, I know. Kind of bizarre. And the royal family members, they won't be wearing any of their military uniforms, which they usually would wear. I know there was some controversy around my favourite, Prince Andrew, and whether he was going to wear a military uniform, because he's been stripped of all his military duties.

As well as Harry. So the Queen made this call to save Harry and Andrew the embarrassment because if everyone else was wearing them but then they weren't, it would be very obvious. Good on her. What a lovely lady. Let's not make it Orkies, guys. It's not about that today. We were saying yesterday that she has to sit by herself

because of the COVID restrictions. She does. The UK COVID restrictions mean at funerals you have to stay two metres apart when you're seated. So she has to sit, the poor lady sit by herself. And they've announced the 30 guests, the guest list, because they're only allowed 30 again with COVID restrictions. Yeah, so you've got the Queen and Prince Philip's kids and grandkids,

but the great-grandchildren aren't going. So Prince George, Charlotte and Louis won't be going. But they've got all of the sons and daughters-in-laws and the great-sons and daughters-in-laws. Did Harry make the cut? Harry made the cut. I was going to say, the royals could have been petty again and gone, well, hey, mate.

I know you've quarantined. You come over here and guess what? You're number 31. Sorry, just scraping out. I know. How ruthless, isn't it? Yeah. Well, listen, you can imagine the sad photo of the queen

just sitting by herself. Oh, no. She'll be dressed in all black, I imagine. Yeah, very sad. And in other more local news, so the Masked Singer is a TV show that is coming to New Zealand. It's basically, the premise of it is

there's a panel of guessing judges that are serenaded by Kiwi celebrities who are in costumes and you can't see their face. And the judges have to guess who is behind the mask. And they've got wild costumes. Oh, they've got amazing costumes. They're not just masked singers wearing a face mask to protect yourself from COVID. Elaborate.

Which I thought they would in the New Zealand version. They go, oh, hang on, you're Mike McRoberts. Have you sanitised your hands as well? Like a socially distanced talent show. Yeah, and so it's been hands as well? Like a socially distanced talent show.

Yeah, and so it's been announced that comedian Rhys Darby is going to be joining as a guessing judge and the costumes for the Kiwi edition will have a bit of a New Zealand twist.

So like there'll be someone dressed as a tuatara that was shown in the commercials. I saw that in the commercial. It looked amazing, yeah. Yeah, so that's happening and I think it will be

quite entertaining. I'm wondering if the singers behind the masks, do they have to actually be able that's happening, and I think it will be quite entertaining. I'm wondering if the singers behind the masks, do they have to actually be able to sing? Well, I think the American one that I watched, they were all pretty good singers. They're pretty amazing. You don't hear their real voice when they're talking.

They change their voice when they're having a conversation with the judges. Because that's the giveaway normally. You're like, I know that voice. Kia ora, good evening. That's Mike McRoberts. But you only hear their singing voice. And apparently it's like on set, it's confidentially. Not even the people behind the scenes know.

Really? But I love because I watched the American version. And all the judges are like, oh, my God. Could that be former US President Barack Obama? And you're like, well, no. No, it definitely won't be. Let's think about five levels down from there. Could that be David Hasselhoff?

Yeah, probably. Probably be him. Someone who was on Beverly Hills 90210. Yeah, you're probably right. Is that Jennifer Aniston? No, she's far too good for this show. They always guess. They overshoot the mark with the guesses.

That is true. That is true. And that is Spy for more. You can head to thehits. But they always guess. They overshoot the mark with the guesses. That is true. That is true. And that is five and more. You can head to thehits.co.nz. Two dads just trying to fill some air time.

Some might say it's pointless, but the main thing is it fills in some air time for us. That is the main thing. John and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

Here at Broadcasting Out of Christchurch, been here for the last couple of days. Yeah, we had a lot of fun, haven't we? And the good thing is it's going to be

a great weekend for me because I get to hang out and spend more time with my dear friend, Ben Boyce. We don't spend enough time together, do we? No, we don't. So it's really good for us to spend. Yeah, we're here until Sunday, aren't we? It's an honour to have a relationship with someone where we can sit in a car just in silence like a married couple.

We're a loveless married couple. The love has died. Oh, we do our fair share of bickering as well. We do, a little bit of bickering. And once a year, he gives me a gentle touch. A gentle touch. Just a caress of my hand. And that's enough to pull me through another 12

months. We want to know why you're having the best weekend, because it is a Friday. That's a good feeling. So we're going to take a couple calls. I'm going to judge who's having the best weekend. Maybe you're spending time with your family that you love. Or maybe you're spending time away from your family that you no longer love. Whatever.

You call us up right now, 0800 The Hits. We'll start with Jo in Auckland. Morning, Jo. Good morning, guys. What are you doing this weekend, Jo? I'm absolutely doing nothing. I'm going to sleep in. School holidays start today, so two weeks off work.

Yes. Oh, my God, that's sleeping. I'm just dreaming. She said, I'm going to start today, so two weeks off work. Yes! Oh, my God, that's sleeping. I'm just dreaming. She said I'm going to sleep in. As an adult, that's all you want to do. Oh, don't you? Oh, totally. I get up at five in the morning,

so it's like I'm going to try and sleep until ten at least. Oh, keep talking, Jo. Keep talking. That's the stuff. Well, you enjoy your weekend of doing absolutely nothing. That sounds like a dream. That does sound really good, eh. That sounds like a dream. You go look after yourself.

You know, the people that go to the MIQ, I'm sure two weeks is a long time, but I'm making three days of MIQ. Oh, just like no one can get to you. Yeah, like, oh, that's what they should be doing. Just come and shove a rod up your nose every couple of hours. That's all right. I'll put up with that.

I'll put up with that. Hey, thank you very much for your call. You have a great weekend. We'll go to Paula in Waihi Beach. What are you doing in Waihi this weekend, Paula? Oh, hiya guys. We're going up to Auckland for girls on a

shopping trip. Look out, look out Auckland. Strap yourselves in Auckland. So what's planned on the weekend, the girls' weekend? We might try and catch a comedy show on Sunday night. I'm just Googling that. Maybe you guys should shoot up an entertainer.

We have very disappointing entertainment. Have you listened to the show? Yeah, yeah. We tried the magic mic thing for a while too, but it didn't work out. It was more tragic mic than magic mic. You're kind of funny. You are kind of funny. You are kind of funny. Yeah, no, we're just going to cause some havoc, find a gin bar, maybe, yeah, have a few cocktails

and do heaps of shopping. All right, there we go. Paula going to be spending the weekend intoxicated and shopping in Auckland. I love it. So far, two very good weekends. Yeah, I don't know how we're going to judge this. We'll go to Nikki.

Welcome from Auckland. What are you going to do this weekend, Nico? Hi, guys. I am going to Poly this. We'll go to Nikki. Welcome from Auckland. What are you going to do this weekend, Nico? Hi, guys. I am going to Polyfest because my son is performing in the Tongan stage. Go hard! Polyfest, it's at Mount Smart Stadium this year. No, it's not.

It's still in Manukau. Yeah, that was Pacifica. Oh, Pacifica. Yeah, Polyfest. So tell me, what is it? Is it a competition? I'm not sure how it is this year, but I guess it is. Oh, well, good on you.

Have a wonderful weekend. Oh, that sounds good. Good luck to you. Good luck to your son as well. No doubt they've been practicing a lot. Yes, indeed. Somehow you made that all clear. I did.

Vera, you're on. How did I make that all clear? I just killed the vibe on that one. Classic Jonathan. All right, Vera, how did I make that all good? Really killed the vibe on that one. Classic Jonathan. All right, Vera, you're on. How are you? Nelson. Hey, guys.

Just letting you know that my week is going to be adventurous with my family. That's all travelling up from the South Island. We're all having a wananga here in Nelson. I've been fundraising for the last six weeks to make this happen. So, yeah, this should be interesting and awesome. Oh, good on you. That sounds awesome. Yeah, look, again, I can't judge.

Everyone sounds like they're having a great weekend. So it's going to blow the bank, but hell pizza for everyone that phoned up on 0800 with the hits. Don't forget, hell do booze delivery as well with your pizza order, which is pretty awesome. Have yourself a great weekend. We're out of Christchurch. We'll be here for a weekend, having a great one, hanging out together.

We'll catch you from Monday. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on the hits breakfast. Friends of Skinny.