Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 19 - Our Producer Is Having His First Baby!

Episode Date: April 18, 2021

Kia Ora! On today's show, we said (a temporary) goodbye to producer BHumps, who is about to have his first child with his partner tomorrow. So we opened up the phones and asked for your baby advice, some good little nuggets of advice in there! We also caught up with psychic Kimberley Stewart from The Channelling, who gave us her predictions on which seat 50 tickets to Six60 will be under, before we attempt the biggest round of musical chairs tomorrow at Eden Park. Jono also told us about how he and his wife had to go through their wills, and how much of a bizarre experience that was. Enjoy the show!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay, this is the potty intro. Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. April 19th, 2021. It's a Monday.

Welcome to the podcast audience. Jonathan and Benjamin here. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the podcast audience, Jonathan and Benjamin here, welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the podcast. How are you going, alright? I'm going alright, we had a busy few days in Christchurch, just got back late last night. Yeah, slept on the plane I did last night. Yeah, you're still all strata, I don't think we're taking off again. I always like to see how quickly you'll, as soon as you stop talking, from time the mouth

shuts from conversation to how quickly you'll sleep. Very quick. That was a quick one last night. That was so quick. Yeah, I was like, we haven't even taken off. I was halfway through the safety briefing, I dozed off. And what I did enjoy, actually, come to think of it, as we were getting close to landing, you must have woken up,

and you're like, how you going, mate? And I said, I'm kind of all right. And just as I went back to ask you something, it was like you went back to sleep again. It was like you woke up just to say, how you going, mate? And I was like, going all right. And then you were back to sleep. Keep the chat going.

And I was like, yeah, okay, right. And then back you went. How you going, mate? Yeah, but it's hard sleeping with a face mask on. The breathing. Yeah, I can imagine. I mean, it does contain your slobber. Great for public sleeping.

My issue is I always worry that I'm going to snore in those situations. Because I don't know if I snore every time I go to sleep. I don't know. Sometimes my wife, Amanda, will go. Have you had some snoring incidents? Well, I don't know publicly. I have once fallen asleep at an outdoor movie. And that's since, yeah, that was very, I was very cosy at a Star Wars outdoor movie and fell asleep.

Amanda's like, you're snoring, you're snoring. And so and so since then i'm like if i'm publicly sleeping in a plane i'm like am i going to be the guy snoring that everyone's putting on their gram on there you know look at this guy snoring on the plane end up on on the herald is like yeah what an you know an inconvenient people you've flown next to that's my way back of my mind he had his feet up on the chair in front of him. But, yeah, no, I'd say it's an interesting one to see me on a plane too because there's no real, there's no lumbar support as you're on a plane seat. And your head just rocks back and forth, like jumps back and forth. It just slowly flips back.

And your head is heavy. It just really, yeah, it's hard to. Your neck does a lot of work during the day, keeping that up, right? It does, but when you sleep straight up sitting, that's when it comes into play. That neck's taking a breather. It's like, I've clocked out, buddy. It's all on you.

Hey, thank you very much for listening to the podcast. We mean that from the bottom of our hearts. Yeah, we do. It's a lot of fun doing the show each week and even more fun doing the podcast intro. Even from the top of my heart, I think. And the middle bits too, the aortaries and all that. The whole heart. The whole clogged arteries.

The whole cardiovascular system. This morning, it was a really fun show. We got some really great calls through for advice. Now, if you're a parent, even, like, because it was meant to be for producer Bee Humps, who's off to have a baby tomorrow. He's having a baby. It was meant to be like What advice would you like to pass on to a new parent But I was like well there was a lot of advice That I wish I'd been passed on to me As a parent of you know

11 years There was a Kiwi lady who nannied for Catherine Zeta-Jones And Michael Douglas She had some wonderful advice Didn't she If you'd known that back in the day it would have been a game changer I had done multiple times

and then you're like oh okay well maybe that wasn't the best idea so make sure you check that out on the podcast as well as that how you can win 660 tickets

we're really narrowing that down because tomorrow we're going to be at Eden Park sitting on those seats It's a busy week don't say that we're taking our foot off the pedal No

We've crashed the car, though. Jono and Ben, or as they're known in the office, those two. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast on the hits. Very big day tomorrow for the show, for lots of elements of the show. We're also trying to win 660 tickets by heading to Eden Park. But more importantly, producer Ben Humphrey. Bee Humps, you're having a baby tomorrow. Life is about to change.

Caitlin's having the baby. Ben's there in a supporting role. On the photographer. Documenting the photo. You tag us in on those pics too, mate. That's incredible. Not a surreal feeling knowing that you're going into Caesarian, obviously. Yes.

What do you feel like now? Talk about your emotions and feelings, Ben Humphrey from Fairleigh, Southland. Nervous, sweaty, butterflies in the stomach. I imagine the mix of when we had our kids of excitement and also nerves. And excitement, of course. Yeah, absolutely. It's a weird mix of like, I'm excited, but I'm also quite nervous, especially the first one,

because everything you know in your life is about to change. Yeah. And it's, yeah, obviously it is a Ca mix of like, I'm excited, but I'm also quite nervous, especially the first one, because everything you know in your life is about to change. Yeah, and it's, yeah, obviously it is a cesarean section, but it's strange because we've obviously had nine months warning that this is going to happen. But then tomorrow at this time, I'll be sitting in a weight room in the hospital and then we'll get the nod. And then within 10 minutes, we'll be holding a baby.

Takes 10 minutes. 10 minutes. It's quick a baby. Takes 10 minutes. 10 minutes. It's quick. It's prolific. The whole operation is an hour but most of it is at the back end. But yeah, within 10 minutes you get to hold your baby. I think most of the operation is at the front end, isn't it? No, it would be after that.

I don't know who your surgeon is but I'm no medical expert. But that's cool. That's very cool. What's Caitlin feeling? She's very nervous as well, but yeah, it's the same,

just nervous and excitement. Yeah, it's... I must get you a present that we give all new parents, Jennifer and myself. It's this plastic seat that you put in the bath and everyone's like,

hey, thanks for the plastic seat. But then two months later, we always get a text from people going that seat is a godsend. You can just leave them in the bath. You can go off and have a beer and a ciggy and they just bathe themselves. Because you're always hunched over the bath. Putting the hand behind the baby

at all times. There's a plastic seat that does the work for you. I'll get you one. And you'll be like, thanks for the baby at all times. There's a plastic seat that does the work for you. I'll get you one. And you'll be like, thanks for the plastic seat, mate. Actually, well, because, you know, it's a big occasion and there's a lot of people listening right now that have gone through this process and have kids. We thought maybe could we pass on some advice for bee humps?

What is the one bit of advice you would give a debut parent? I'm going to say just get good at pretending. Get good at pretending that you didn't hear the baby cry. Get good at pretending to be asleep

in the middle of the night when the baby cries. Get good at pretending you didn't smell what just took place. A lot of pretending that needs to come in. Yeah, that's good.

I'm just going to say a word to the wise. It's parenting, not babysitting. So if you're ever like, oh, I can't go out on Friday, I'm used to coming. Yeah, that's good. I'm just going to say a word to the wise. It's parenting, not babysitting. So if you ever like, oh, I can't go out on Friday, I'm babysitting. That's not a good idea. When it's your own child, it's called parenting. Good advice.

Good advice. Okay, just a little something that I have learnt. Oh, I'm going to babysit on Friday. It's not babysitting. It's parenting. So there you go. And also you need to get good at acting too. Because you're going to get so many presents from your friends and whānau

and you're like plastic bloody yeah like a plastic thing a plastic an annoying plastic seat and you need to get good at going oh that's so cute

and then you also need to get good at putting a baby in that thing when they come round to your house too so it looks like remembering

remembering where it came from yeah draw up a spreadsheet Draw up a spreadsheet. Draw up a spreadsheet. 0800 the hits. Your one bit of advice to someone who's just about to become a parent. Tomorrow. Yeah. Less than 24 hours away. What did you wish someone had told you

before you embarked on becoming a parent? Love to hear from you. 4487 on the text. 0800 the hits. Let's help out. Producer B Humps this morning. Gary's on from Auckland. What's your advice, Gary? Hey, guys. Embrace every single moment because nothing the baby will do

is going to stop the world from turning and time will still tick. It goes so fast. It's such a cliche, but it does go so fast. My daughter's 16 and I can still picture her popping out. Yeah, it does.

I can still see it. Yeah. Enjoy every moment. Every single moment. Oh, you enjoy every moment. Every single moment. Good on you, Gary. Apart from the moments where you're not sleeping, but enjoy them. Oh, that'll be

a distant memory, though. When you're in there, you're like, oh my God, this is full on. But, you know, it becomes a few months later, you're like, hey, we did it. We got through that.

And it gets better and better. That was lovely advice, Gary. Thank you. We'll go to Rachel in P, and it gets better and better. That was lovely advice, Gary. Thank you. We'll go to Rachel in Paitoa. More in there, Rachel. What's your advice for producer Humphrey tomorrow? Oh, these ones. These ones.

Do you reckon Rachel's going to come through? No, we're going to be shown somewhere else. There's lots of calls coming through. Elizabeth, you're on from Auckland. Your advice for bee humps? My advice would be to remember to print all the photos. Don't just keep them stored. Oh, that's a nice idea. What, on the photo

street? On the photos. Just remember to say all those photos that you take, you normally just keep them on your phone or in your, you know, whatever your device and just remember to print them for the future because it's, like everybody says, it goes so fast and sometimes you lose that sort of thing. Oh that's great

advice Elizabeth. Make an album. Yeah make an album that's nice. Ben makes an album every year don't you? That's my Christmas thing I do the year I look back on the year sometimes you guys might make I think you made the cut last year guys. Yeah that's a cool idea. And my yearly album everyone goes oh he's doing this again in the holidays I'm moaning about doing this

album. Imagine when your kids are like adults you're like guess what I'm going to leave you all the albums. They're going to be like, thanks, mate. Thanks. We've got 300 albums here. These aren't going to be 2020. We've got Leroy on from Carpenter. One bit of advice for a debut parent.

Producer Humphrey. I was going to say spend as much time as you can, but that's been said. But another great one I just remembered was teach your baby little baby sign language if you can. They pick it up pretty easily. And we did it with our daughter, and she could tell us when she was hungry, but another great one I just remembered was teach your baby little baby sign language if you can. They pick it up pretty easily. Oh, wow. And we did it with our daughter,

and she could tell us when she was hungry and tired and all that. Yeah. It's real simple. They sort of just point to their mouth, like they want to feed or something like that. Is this Robert De Niro from Meet the Fockers? Wow, I did not know this was a thing. So there we go.

I'm learning something as well. That's awesome. I've got another genuine bit of advice. Here we go. From three months, teach them how to use your phone and or iPad. YouTube is the world's greatest babysitter. Uber Eats?

Uber Eats. We've actually got Dorothy Wade on who we've spoken before. Dorothy Wade was Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas' nanny for a while, a New Zealand lady now back in the country. Dorothy, thank you for joining us. My pleasure. Thank you for having me. Now, what's the bit of advice you would give Ben Humphrey

and Caitlin tomorrow? Try not to do anything in arms that you cannot replicate in a cot. So, movement on the baby rather than on your body. Your body's the mattress so that if you do hold your baby, which is what you do in the fourth trimester, is try and keep your body still because it's a mattress

and do the movement on the baby. Is this the cupping? Yep, that's the cupping. That's the cupping, yep. Oh, there we go. Oh, so like when you're walking around, don't sort of bob up and down sort of thing because you can't do that on the cot.

Is that what you're saying? Well, does the cot walk? Well, no, you're right, Dorothy, it doesn't. Well, it depends what sort of investment you've made in a cot. I reckon old Elon Musk could have a walking cot. That's a very good point. I hadn't thought of that. Yeah, that's the big deal around, like,

all the professionals teach you to walk, rock, swing, sway, swivel, because babies like movement. But if you sort of visualize your baby lying in a cot, that if you do something in your arms, you need to be able to do it in the cot, so that if you do hold your baby for the first, say, 12 weeks, which is the fourth trimester, then you can actually transfer them. I used to hold babies 24-7, but I used my body as a mattress so that when I transferred, some were really, really easy, some a little bit more trickier.

But it was an easy transition because you didn't have to replace large movements with small movements. She's a baby whisperer. Wonderful. No, they are the baby whisperer. No, no. Don't you call me a baby whisperer. Don't you say a cock walks either. Oh, jeez. No, the parents are the baby whisperer

and the parents are the baby expert. I'm the person that's got the experience, the tools that can support them. Oh, Dorothy Wade. The baby whisperer. No, no, no. She's the baby whisperer support them. Oh, Dorothy Wade. The baby whisperer. No, no, no. She's the baby whisperer. No.

Okay, all right. Dorothy Wade, you've got so much great advice. Where can people go, like Producer Ben, and find out more? Babyhelp.co.nz, or I also have Baby Within, which is my Facebook page, and I have some subscription pages, not to 12 weeks, 12 weeks to 12 months, 12 months beyond. So following in tune with the two books I've written and it's $20

a month at the price of a cup of coffee. So it's enabling me to get out to more of the community that can't afford the consultancy fee. Oh Dorothy, you're a wonderful New Zealander. Thank you very much for your time. My pleasure. Have a great day guys.

And someone texted, I wish someone had told me that I would be worried for the You're a wonderful New Zealander. Thank you very much for your time. My pleasure. Have a great day, guys. Thanks so much, Dorothy. And someone texted, I wish someone had told me that I would be worried for the rest of my life. Let's not focus too much on that. It's already begun. It's already worrying about everything. It's already begun.

Morning. This show contains traces of Jono and Ben. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Now, we're on a mission tomorrow to head to Eden Park and play the biggest game of musical chairs ever. We're going to sit in seat after seat after seat. And when we sit on the lucky seat, we'll unlock 60 tickets.

You thought it should be called... Sit 60. It's a crime upon the pun gods, isn't it? That we haven't called it Sit 60. Don't you hate it? We're too far down the track now to rebrand it. I'm disappointed. I feel like we should

just cancel tomorrow and do it in a year's time. Yeah, the marketing team have done all the assets and everything's printed. We can't call it Sit 60. It's too late.

I don't even know why I brought it up. It's just making me angry talking about it. We're trying to win you guys 50, 660 tickets and we wanted to get a bit of help

to find out where the seat could be because there's 50,000 seats and we thought we'd get the vibes. And he pointed to Producer Juliet like, now's the time. Now's the time. We talked about this before, now's the time.

Play the song, Juliet. The vibes from someone who's a psychic. Yeah, now Producer Humphrey's been trying to track down psychics all weekend and he's got a lot of explaining to Now, Producer Humphrey's been trying to track down psychics all weekend, and he's got a lot of explaining to do to upper management while there's so many 0900 numbers on his bill. But this is a psychic who we know has got a great track record with us. I don't know what her criminal record's like.

I haven't seen that. But her psychic record is flawless. Her name, Kimberly Stewart, from the channeling. Morning. Morning. How are you going? Lovely to have you on again. Always great to hear your psychicky tones Hi. How are you going? Lovely to have you on again. Always great to hear your psychic-y tones.

Is that what you say? Oh, thanks. How you been? All right? Yeah, I've been good. How about you guys? Good. We're just working our asses off, literally.

Yeah. Oh, you will be on, is it tomorrow? Tomorrow, yeah. We start sitting on seats in Eden Park. Now, Producer Ben, Ben Humphries, he's spoken to you. Yes. And you've got a bit of a prediction, but he's not telling us exactly what you said

because he doesn't want us to go straight up to there, to that seat, to that section. It'll ruin the game. It would ruin the game. And we wouldn't get a wonderful gluteus and thigh workout by sitting in 50,000 seats. But this is what you told him off air just moments ago.

So the places that I'm getting where they'll find the hot seat, I may be getting around that around, is it section or our section on the There were some inconvenient beeps in there. Yes. At pivotal moments.

Yeah. So what we're going to do, we're going to do this attempt and then we're going to review your prediction without any beeps on Wednesday. Jo, what else are you getting? What other vibes are you getting about this whole day? Is Ben going to get a parking ticket?

Yeah, yeah, what's the vibes? Do you feel confident that it's going to happen? We're going to do it? Oh, I think you're going to do it. Oh, I think you're going to do it. I don't think you're going to be too tired by the end of it. So I think you'll do okay. It'll be fun. I think you guys are going to have a lot of fun.

You're predicting that we're going to have a lot of fun. Yeah. We do like fun. Not as bad as what you think. Not as bad as what we think. Because we've been saying it could take us five days. I mean, that's the thing. And we're looking by judging and doing the maths on how many seats there are at Eden Park and how

long it's going to take two not fully fit individuals to do it. So you're thinking it's going to be a lot shorter than five days? Yeah, I don't think it's going to take that long at all. Now, can I ask you, how do you get these premonitions? How do I explain it? I'll either get a sound that will point me or draw me to a seat or else I'll get

a vision of it. And do you have to think hard to get your mind in a position where it can predict this stuff or it just comes to you? No, it usually just comes to me. So when your producer contacted me the other day,

I had an instant vision of a roundabout where everybody... Do you conduct your life decisions on things that you predict for yourself? No, that's not fun. But you must be able to go, oh, I know this is going to happen to me, so I'll make this decision to avoid it. No, it's kind of different for yourself. It's really hard to read for yourself because you have logic get in the way.

You're like, I can't blow my life savings on Bitcoin. No. It's a shocking idea. Even if it does feel like it's going to be quite lucrative. Yeah, exactly. So it's much easier to read for other people. What's the most common thing people come in and see you about? At the moment, it's kind of career and money,

but it used to be love. Oh, really? Yeah, so it's changed. I have a question. Will Ben ever love me? Don't groan. Are you getting a groan? I don't want to harm you by answering that question

No, I'm not going to answer it And so do you feel a lot of responsibility when people come These are big decisions, you know In terms of like should they change careers Should they find a new partner and stuff Do you feel responsibility on what information you give them? Definitely partner and stuff, do you feel responsibility on what information you give them? Definitely. So all psychics should follow a set of ethics

and some things I can't predict because they're just harmful to people. So, yeah, it's a big responsibility. So sometimes you'll get maybe some bad news about one of your clients and you will make the decision not to pass that on to them? Yes, that's right. Oh, really? Oh, there's ethics in the psychic game. Oh, yeah.

Not like the radio game, we've got no ethics. We don't care. Oh, well, lovely talking to you, Kimberley. And if people want to get in touch with you or get a reading for themselves, how can they get in touch? They can go to our website, thechanneling.co.nz

or we're on Instagram and Facebook. Since you're a psychic, Kimberley, I'm going to put you to the test. Try and guess the next song we're going to play. Right now, like now, going into now, okay? You're not going to play a song. You're going to play Ed.

Oh, she is good. She's good and she gets our commercial requirements out of the way as well. Hey, Kimberly, lovely talking to you. Thanks so much for your time. You guys too. We apologise in advance. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm sorry to rope you into this. Sorry you've been dragged into this.

Jono and Penn. Breakfast on the Heads. Now, someone messaged us on Facebook, so we thought we'd get this on the radio. This is a very interesting scenario. Can we welcome Trudy to New Zealand's Breakfast? Morena, how are you? Hi, guys. How are you? Happy Monday.

Happy Monday to you. Is it? Is it? It's a Monday, everyone. It's a Monday. It's a Monday. You kind of, you tolerate Monday, don't you? Yeah, you do. Tuesday's a non-event.

Wednesday, you start to get a little pumped up. Thursday, ooh, you're happy for Thursday. And then Friday, you check out of any productivity in the workplace, don't you? Yeah. That's on your standard, people that work Monday to Friday. So I'm sure if you're working weekends at all, you know, there's no joy in life. Trudy, you've got a really interesting scenario. Something that you're judging your mate on.

Yeah. So I've got my best friend, we've got two kids each the same age and, you know, I make a real conscious effort to not swear in front of my kids, but she doesn't take the same road as me and she's been swearing

in front of her kids and I'm just kind of wondering if I need to say something to her because I know that my kids have said that boys are starting to swear at school and I just don't think that they're getting taught a very good lesson from her. So you want to tell your friend, cease the swearing. Oh, so you're not worried about her swearing in front of your kids, is that right? I've told my kids that they shouldn't say the naughty words that she says

and they understand that. But I don't know that her boys are getting the same message. That's an interesting one. I mean I'm going to go full disclosure. I have a mouth like a sailor. It's fishy. Moral hygiene shocking.

Need to go to the tooth decay. It's scurvy last week. I swear around my kids all the time. And it's not like I do it intentionally, but also in the same breath, I'm a raging hypocrite. I'm like, you don't do it. But I do it a lot.

And they don't. Like, they're adorable wee things. They hear me just say some disgusting things. You know my mouth, Ben. Just shocking. Do as I say, not as I do. Yeah, but they don't they don't swear

and if they hear it they're like oh yeah that's the thing they really do my daughter Andy's like I will never in my life say a swear word

you're like oh yeah I want to record so I recorded her saying that because I'll play that back to you in 10 years time

I just want to reiterate too I'm not going like full blown Gordon Ramsay kitchen nightmares you're like if in this you call this a painting from school I just want to reiterate too, I'm not going like full-blown Gordon Ramsay kitchen nightmares. You sound like you are. You call this a painting from school? You're like, I'll do it.

But it's an interesting prospect for you, Trudy, to chime in on your mate's parenting, essentially. Yes, I guess so. You don't think I should be? Well, I'm personally not. It is a weird conversation to have, but I know that when you boil it down, your intentions is for her children, like wanting them to know that they shouldn't be swearing, and obviously it's reflecting down that. So your heart's in the right place, I think.

Yeah, but I'm going to tell you, Trudy, I'm going to say you need to go like Cardi B in a music video, butt out. That's nice. That was a nice play of words. It was good. Took me a little bit, but I got that. Have you seen Web?

Yeah, I know. That's an eye opener. Yeah, yeah. But I would say, well, is there any harm in talking to a friend and just say, hey, just so you know, you can do your, you know, you be your own life, but just as a friend, why don't to tell your kids are now starting to say words that maybe they've heard from you.

Maybe you should have a think about it. Just as a think about it. Oh, you're going to, oh, it's a gentle approach. Just a gentle, not say, you know, wash your mouth out with soap, you filthy sailor. You know, not really the guy, you know, but just be like, hey, you know, maybe. That's a good approach, Ben, I like that. Because you might not have even thought that was the thing.

Imagine if you found out that your kids or my, you know, or I found out my kids were, Ben. I like that. Because you might not have even thought that was the thing. Imagine if you found out that your kids or my kids, you know, or I found out my kids were going to school and saying all sorts of stuff. You'd be like, ooh. Oh, I'd be like,

where did they get that from? Certainly wasn't from me. You might change your tune, maybe. I don't know. Trudy, thank you so much for getting in touch and sharing that. We'll go,

check this open. You can have a listen next to the calls and texts we get around this. 0800 the hits, 4487. Should Trudy hit up her friend about swearing in front of her children? Not Trudy's kids, just to reiterate, in front of her own children.

0800 the hits, the number, 4487 if you want to text us this morning. We'll get Nicole on, eh, from 0800 the hits. Are you from 0800 the hits, Nicole? Is that where you live? Is it a wonderful suburb? Absolutely. Yeah, great. House prices there all right at Oh, 800 the hits?

What are your thoughts? Well, I think that some people just believe that the word's the word and they're not actually offensive or swear words until you start using them against people. That's a very good point. It's your intention of using the words, isn't it? Yeah, that's how I was raised and that's how I'm going to bring my daughter up because obviously you say the words

occasionally and sometimes they're just to prompt enthusiasm. As long as they're not using them to hurt other people's feelings against people, I don't see the big issue with them. And she might have had that conversation with her kids as well, that you can use them in the playground. And as long as you're not saying them to people

to make people upset, then it shouldn't be much of an issue. Yeah, I mean, your kids could go, hey, teacher, that was an effing good class today. Keep up the effing great work. It's all the intent, isn't it? The angle you come in with. I get what you're saying because they can be abusive. But if they're used in a positive context

or just part of the vernacular, then hey, what harm is it doing? What are your kids going around? Anyway, I get your point, though.acular, then hey, what harm is it doing? I know, your kids, you want your kids going around. Anyway, I get your point though. Yeah, thank you, Nicole. I think as long as the kids aren't upsetting other kids at school, then I think it should be all right.

Yeah, good on you. And you go back to your Blasphemy Fest 2021, Nicole. Hey, thank you for listening. You have a great day, eh? Thanks. Get Rachel on from Christchurch. What do you think on this? Should she chime in or butt out?

I think she should honestly just butt out. Okay. Why? I think every parent has their own way of parenting and I don't think it's really anyone else's business to be fair. Yeah, that's a popular thing coming through on the text 24487. A lot of people saying this is just not your

place to stick your beak in. No, no it's not. And I think you never know. They might be trying at home and trying to curb it, but it's been really hard. So you might just be upsetting them. So I think they should just completely stick out of it. Yeah, right.

Okay, listen, I'm just looking here online. Do you know swearing is illegal in New Zealand? But hardly anyone's ever convicted for it, swearing. What do you mean? You can get charged for swearing in public. Offensive language is a minor criminal offence in New Zealand. Oh, really? But the judges, they take their discretion

because a lot of it's under freedom of expression. But it would probably depend on the context of where you're doing this. Do you know, and it says here too, the courts have said that police officers, along with other professionals who deal with vulnerable people in New Zealand, like WINS staff, teachers, nurses, and doctors, should be expected to put up with a greater amount of abuse. Should be expected?

Should be expected. So if they lay a complaint, they'll be like, oh, mate, you're a teacher. Should be expected to be abused. Isn't that interesting? What about radio announcers and TV announcers online? Oh, you know, going further down, they've been added to the list as well. Expected to be abused. Isn't that interesting? What about radio announcers and TV announcers online? We're going further down. They've been added to the list as well. Oh, yeah, so that's okay when people say stuff about us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the text machine 24487, we open the abuse. We welcome the abuse. Let's get Amber on from Hamilton. We've got Trudy. She doesn't know whether she should tell her friend to stop swearing in front of her kids. What do you reckon?

Well, I think it's probably none of her business to be fair. Like, I'm pregnant at the minute, and you get so much advice being pregnant, and then to get it as well and to keep the hair. So I'm like, well, everyone does things differently. You might not think it's appropriate, but I don't think it's really her place to tell her what she should do with her children.

Yeah. Well, 70% of the texts agree with you. Have you been swearing, and has it been going through into the belly to the baby? Well, I hope not. I mean, you know, I'm trying to say fudge instead of the other word. Already.

But it's got to slip out. It's just natural, right? It's the thing. It slips out. It just slips out. You do quite a good job on the radio though, don't you? Yeah, but all broadcasters do. You go out into the office, it's just shocking. You know it is. Some of the

country's finest, most professional broadcasters, their mouths are horrific, Ben. You know. John Campbell. I love John Campbell. But God, he is wild. He's worse than me. Well, thank you so much for your calls and texts this morning. We really

appreciate it. To everyone pulling a sickie today, you're not fooling anyone. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Tell you what, I spent a large part of the weekend while we were in Christchurch been filling out probably the bleakest document I've ever partaken in. It was more bleak than when you got me

to fill out your Tinder profile. That was some bleak reading. How can we make this a little bit more exciting? He got me in to write it. Ghost writer. No bites on that, were there? No, it was a sham. No, but I had to fill out a will.

Have you done a will? It's a conversation you don't want to have. Oh, my God. You do need to have it and then get it done and never really talk about it again unless your circumstances change, I guess. They're like, would you like to be cremated or buried? What? And I'm like, well

to be honest, it's probably going to be none of my worry. Yeah. But I went, I'll be cremated and Jen's like, oh, you're going to be cremated, are you? You didn't discuss this with me. What if I want to be buried? So apparently there's a discussion you have with... Oh, really? Yeah, just join it all. Or she's like, what if you want to be buried next So apparently there's a discussion you have with... Oh, really? Yeah, just join it all.

Well, she's like, what if you want to be buried next to each other or, you know. Oh, okay. It's grim reading. But again, you're not going to know. See you later. Again, is this going to be any of my worry? I'll burden that with...

The kids can worry about that. Can worry about this whole thing. Because it was honestly the first time I've really thought about mortality. First time? First, well, yeah, just really thought about mortality. First time? Well, yeah, just for my own mortality. All right. I think I'm going to live forever, even though I look like a ghost.

I look like I'm quite ill. Yeah, look at you. He's definitely not. He doesn't have long to live. But it's the first time you take it seriously about where it all divvies up. Especially when you've got kids as well, too. You're kind of like, well, what are you going to leave them? And when did they get that?

All that sort of stuff. It's not a fun conversation. No. But it's basically a document that you're like, who can I burden all of my financial problems with and all of my leftover junk? Who's going to get all this? But you need to do one.

Because if you don't do one, I was reading into it, that the law takes a hold of all your possessions and they decide where it goes. And it doesn't necessarily go to the people that you want it to go to. Or even having like a family member come in and say, oh, this girl, I don't think they're allowed to do that as much unless you say beforehand that this is the person. Yeah.

Because they could be coming in trying to take all of Jono Pryor's sweet, sweet Metallica T-shirts. And I want those going to someone very special, Ben Boyce is going to be left with all of those I'm not a big fan of it but hey, there's a lot of people the other interesting thing I found too is the lawyer she was like

try not to leave everything to your kids until the age of 25 they can have access to it through someone who runs the estate or whatever. But she's seen so many occasions where sadly people have passed and their kids have been given all of the finances at age 19, 20. Imagine, I would have been wild. Yeah, but I feel like kids, we've seen this before, are a bit smarter these days, a bit more on to it.

I mean, but just Julia, Sunday morning, early, 2 o'clock, it's a Saturday night, you basically stay awake to do what? Watch Prince Philip's funeral. She's 23. She still wouldn't have access to my finances. I know, and I mean, this is a responsible, you know, adult. Would you trust yourself with all of your family's finances, Juliet? I actually would myself,

but I know people who probably would just get so carried away. And when you get spending, it's so easy for it to just disappear, I think, you know. Unless you go to a financial advisor and just get it really organised or something. But, yeah. Anyway, this was a cheery topic for a Monday

morning. Tell you what, watch out, Keith. I'm talking about wills on the radio. Watch out, Keith Quinn. I'm coming for your Cigna funeral plan commercials, mate. Yeah, you're right. I'll bring the vibes down. It's Monday.

It's hard enough. Talking about wills for three. Why don't you play some depressing Coldplay song or something? Oh, no. We'll try and pick things

up with some Sam Smith. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Five words for $5,000. Five words for $5,000. Five words for 5K on the hit.

You're only five words away from a massive payday. Love this part of the show. It's getting some traction out there in the market too. Ben, boys, you can tell your personal story. I was talking to someone over the weekend. They were like, oh, the show, I think I might have heard of it. And what are you doing? We play this game, five words.

They're like, yeah, we love it, yeah. And we're the five word show. And there are you doing? We play this game, five words. Yeah, we love it. We're the five word show. And there was another really interesting point that his cousin brought up, producer Juliet, which I think we should maybe even start today as an option. Sanctioned testings. They wondered because we are two guys

and we're sometimes maybe having a female option to choose to go into the booth. Might be something that we could give the opportunity to have callers to go hey I might be more in tune to think a female. Juliet you're a female option. Oh gosh pressure. This is just us offloading pressure

from winning money onto you. So that's something we can discuss in the post-match meeting. Alright we'll check it out there today see if the caller wants to go Juliet. Christina welcome. How are you? Hello. How's you? Hello. How's the capital this morning, all right? Oh, it's good.

It's beautiful here. Super sunny. Oh, super sunny. I always feel like every Wellingtonian's always trying to do propaganda about how good the weather is there. Yeah, they're like, oh, good days. Oh, well, you know, we're good for it. We're good for it.

When it's not windy. Hey, you've been listening to Five Words. You play at home. You play in the car, do you? Yes, I do. Yeah, fun game. Fun game. Getting some traction in the market.

That's some traction. That's a lot of traction. A lot of people said it. Christ, Jack. So we've chucked Juliet into the mix as well. So the choice is, do you want to send Ben into the soundproof booth, producer Juliet, or Nimwit Prime? We'll go with Juliet.

Oh! Yes! I'll have to go push. Oh, you can push the buttons, Millennial Max. Thank you. This is not prepared. I'm sorry. Everyone's in a bit of a fluster here.

I know. Juliet, you hop into the soundproof booth. That's a good decision. That's a good decision. I'm glad that she looks quite startled. Yeah. This is Juliet. She's like, oh, God, what is just happening?

She's locking the door. She's off to the soundproof booth, which also doubles up as a naughty corner outside of work hours. Boss Todd sends us to the naughty corner. Juliet just trying to figure out the lock. It's a bit jammy, the old lock. And the glass door, I think we should give, I'll give the glass door a muscle wipe down, too.

It's getting a bit, a lot of lip marks on it. You've been practising your kissing on that glass door again, Ben. No comment. Okay, Christina, you've sent Juliet in there. Let's hit the tens music, Millennial Max. Five words they need to match with jujus, you win 5K. All right, the first word this morning is Nike. Nike.

Shoe. Shoe. Okay, good option. Yeah, all right. I would have said shoe too. Or I would have said children making shoes. Hey, hey, hey. The next word this morning, Cassandra, is buckle.

Buckle. Also shoes. Oh, true. Yeah. One, two, buckle mosh. Yeah, I guess we'll have a double answer. Okay, we're going to go. Third word, laces.

Oh, shoot. We've got two words to shoot. Okay, no. The third word, if you say shoe again, well, it's up to you. Ladder. Ladder. Window. I don't know why I came up with that.

You can have a think about it. Think about it. We'll come back to that one. I don't know why I came up with that. You can have a think about it. You can think about it. We'll come back to that one. I don't know if window... Anyway, everything will come back to you. Okay, the fourth word this morning, five words, $5,000. Shark. The sea.

The sea, yeah, good option. The sea, all right. And finally, the final word, laptop. Computer. Okay, that the final word, laptop. Computer. Okay, that seemed like a good one. Okay, so you want a ladder. I feel like we should go back and just give you a moment just to think through ladder.

Yeah, because basically we think window is a shocking option. You can get a ladder to get the window. I'm literally looking at a ladder and a window. Roof. Oh, yeah. Let's go with that. Oh, yes, window. Roof. Oh, yeah. Let's go with that. Oh, yes, yep. You would.

That's a way to transport yourself from the ground to the roof. All right, those are good. You've done well, Christina. Let's get Juliet out of the SPB. See if she can match up on Dabu, her producer Juliet. A little startled that she's been put in this position.

I'm sorry, Juliet. Sorry. This is terrifying. Yeah, now you know the she's been put in this position. I'm sorry, Juliet. Sorry. This is terrifying. Yeah. Now you know the pressure that we feel. Every day. Maybe this is the game now. We put Producer Juliet in the booth.

Oh, no. I like that you're an option now, though. Okay, okay. We made an option. We didn't have that conversation. I said, let's talk about it after the show. But Jono's like, nah, let's have it. Christina, let's see if you match up with Juju.

Okay, the first word we said to Christina was Nike. Nike. Shoes? Shoe? Oh! Wonderful one. Whoa! Yay!

Oh, this is good. She's bouncing up and down on our office chairs. I like this now. Well, here's four more to win Christina $5,000. The next word this morning is buckle. Belt? Oh, yeah. Ruffle.

Damn. Oh, I'm sorry. What was it? It was shoe again. Oh. She double-shoed. One, two, buckle mine. Oh, damn it.

Keep rolling through. We'll keep rolling through the words to see how you would have gone. Ladder. Climb. The obnoxious... Shark. Attack. And laptop.

Case. She's no longer an option. Taking her out of the option. I am so sorry I feel terrible No, hey Christina Listen, thank you so much For playing Really do appreciate you

Listening to the program You can go look after yourself On Wellington Thank you You did well Christina Unfortunately you didn't quite Match up with producer Julie yet Another chance tomorrow

Will she be in the mix? We'll find out Yeah, yeah, nah Yeah, nah Yeah, nah The home of yeah, nah. She'll be right in at the end of the day. Jono and Ben, breakfast on the hits.

Jono and Ben's 50,000 seat musical chairs. The only thing that stands between them and 50 free 660 tickets are 50,000 seats at Eden Park. It is happening tomorrow. We're going to be there broadcasting our show from Eden Park and we're going to start sitting on seat after seat until we sit on the lucky seat. It could take five minutes.

It could take five days. The biggest game of musical chairs ever to win you 666 tickets. Now, I've done no preparation for this. Have you? No, but as you said the other day, we've been sitting for a large part of our lives. So hopefully that... I've had an illustrious 39-year career in sitting.

I've sat through movies, I've sat through concerts, I've sat through cricket games. Yeah, a pretty accomplished sitter. I sat on that flight last night on the way home. That was some good practice. So you're in training without training for an event like this, but it's been quite the journey to get here from last week. Because we want to give away tickets to the show.

What are you thinking? 50. 50? 50's too many. 50 years is a lot. I'll talk to you tomorrow, only because you called me friend of the show. We'll catch up tomorrow then.

Chris Mack joins us back. Have we got the tickets? I went to the guys, Jono and Ben. They called me friend of show. I don't want to lose this, but if you want these 50 tickets, you have to do something to earn them. At Eden Park, if you sit in the right seat, I'll give you the 50 tickets. But there's 50,000 seats there. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. If we go

halves, it'll be 25,000 squats each. I can't help but feel partly responsible for the situation that we're in. You're fully responsible. The challenge has been accepted. We need to do some more practice. There was people that break world records. They sit down fast and they pop the balloon. Three, two, one. Oh, your hemorrhoids are playing up. Jim Mouth. He's got over 30 Guinness World Records.

For stadium sitting, I sat in 39,250 in two days. My ankles and my feet just swelling. I didn't walk for four days. Really? Alana Van Hout. Now, she in two days. My ankles and my feet just swelling. I didn't walk for four days. Really? Alana Van Houten, now she's a runner, she's an influencer. You would have seen her on Celebrity Treasure Island. This is definitely a marathon, it's not a sprint. 50,000 squats.

Honestly, guys, I do not envy you. Man, we thought it appropriate that we give away the first double pass, which we don't have, but anyway, let's be positive. Who's on the phone at the end of 60 seconds? If we get bored, we'll move on to the next caller. It's a brutal game. I was actually going to sing a 660 song. I sat alone.

Next caller. Oh, no. Next caller. I got a weird feeling in my stomach. I feel awful about this. It's guilt. We are one day away from making history. And why have we called this Sit 60?

Oh, I'm just disappointed. I'm really upset about that as well. So that's how it all has been playing out over the last week. Tomorrow, as I said before, we head to Eden Park, and we're going to try and win you those tickets. Yeah, now we spoke to all, we didn't speak to a psychic. Producer Humphrey spoke to a psychic, Kimberly, from the channeling just before 8 o'clock.

He got her to predict where the seat was, although he's put really niggly little censorship beeps in important parts. So the places that I'm getting where they'll find the hot seat, I'm either getting around that... around... is it section or else section on the

So we'll review her prediction on Wednesday but it kicks off tomorrow we could be here for 5 days or 5 minutes to win you 50 660 tickets and if we do well it's not if we do when we do and I don't's not if we do, when we do.

We're going to. We're going to. When we do. And I don't think any other station around New Zealand would have 50 tickets to give away this week for 660. So you need to be listening to the show. If you find me one, I'll turn it off. Shut them down.

It's our thing. It's our little wheelhouse this week. So make sure you tune in tomorrow because you could be winning 660 tickets from tomorrow and all this week. When? That's right, Jono. When we sit on that lucky seat.

Add these two men together and somehow you get three quarters worth of a normal man. The Hits with Jono and Ben for breakfast. Spy. The What's Up. Spy.co.nz. She's a celebrity assassin hired by The Hits to do a hit job on these innocent celebrities. Producer Juliet, what's happening in Spy? So Britney Spears has given her fans and followers

an update on how she's doing. After the free Britney movement, everyone was kind of reading into her social media posts being like, is she asking for help? Is she struggling? We all went in a little too deep on that one. Now a few weeks later, we can all go, wow, that got away on us.

Remember that she posted a photo of a Scrabble game? Yes. And everyone was like, there's got to be clues in here. There's got to be clues. Everyone was trying to work out what the Scrabble words, if they meant something. And I was like, wow. Very deep thinking.

So almost like the world is in lockdown and has nothing else to do. But she has given an update. Next question is, am I okay? Yes, I'm totally fine. I'm extremely happy. I have a beautiful home, beautiful children. I'm taking fine. I'm extremely happy. I have a beautiful home, beautiful children. I'm taking a break right now because I'm enjoying myself.

That was her little update for her fans. So she seems happy. Yeah. And her father was just off camera. I know. Holding up a sign that said, read these words. Probably, no.

No. She sounds like she's got a voice changer on, Brittany. She's sped up. She sounds, yeah, she does sound very, you know, high, like she's high, no. No, she sounds like she's got a voice changer on, Brittany. She's a spit up. She sounds, yeah, she does sound very, you know, high, like she's high. Yeah. I felt really sorry for her. Obviously, that documentary, everyone felt sorry for her. But then sorry to hear that she was really sad when that documentary came out, you know.

Yeah. Because it wasn't the point of the doc. No. The point was to help out Brittany. But they clearly must have approached her to do it. And she must have gone, no. I don't want to be part of this. Well, we'll make it anyway

yeah well that's true yeah because I mean the intentions was look at all these things that people have done over the years to make you know they've

been horrible to Brittany you know it was done with I guess with love and to help her out but she was made her more upset

I guess bringing all those things back into the world yeah totally imagine if all your affairs were in a Netflix documentary

imagine it the time he forgot to lift the handbrake on and a car rolled down the driveway. He changed that day. Bring that back. I don't want to be part of this documentary, guys. And David Tennant, he played the 10th Doctor from Doctor Who. He also played Barty Crouch Jr. in the Harry Potter movies,

if you're a big Harry Potter fan like I am. Oh, that guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he has... Is he one of those ones that you have to Google and then you like I am. Oh, that guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he has... Is he one of those ones that you have to Google and then you go, oh, yeah, that guy. He's a Scottish actor. And so he's come out and said that when he sort of first shot to fame

or when he was sort of getting more and more famous, when he didn't have a personal assistant, so he was famous but not famous enough to have a personal assistant, he would pretend to be his own personal assistant. He set up an email account pretending to be this woman just so he could decline invites for events and things because he just couldn't be bothered going. Oh, it's a lot easier to have someone else say no or yes for you, I imagine.

Yeah, so he'd just be like, kind regards, personal assistant of David Tennant. He can't make it. Do you know what? We were in Ikatahuna the other day and a wonderful representative from the town came up to me and said, tenant, he can't make it. Do you know what? We were in Ikatahuna the other day and a wonderful representative from the town came up to me and said,

what are you doing in two years? And I was like, he's clearly leading for us to do something there in two years. I hope he saw the hits there. Yeah, and I couldn't think of an excuse for what we'd be doing in two years. He's like, great. You can host the town's 100th anniversary. Yeah, afterwards you're like, hey, we're doing this and I was like'd be doing in two years. He's like, great, you can host the town's

100th anniversary. Yeah, afterwards you're like, hey, we're doing this and I was like, we're in two years. And you're like,

damn it, I haven't got anything on in two years. I don't know what I'm doing in two years. It'll be a lot of fun, I'm looking forward to it. I thought it was a really

good play. It happened to our dear friend Phil who phoned us we were on another radio show in January. He's like, what are you doing

in November? And when someone leads with that question, you can't think of things that you're doing in November. He's like, I'm seeing my wedding, that's what you're doing. You're like, what are you doing in November? And when someone leads with that question, you're like, oh. You can't think of things that you're doing in November. Yeah, it's like emceeing at my wedding. That's what you're doing. You're like, okay. And then we went and emceed his wedding. It was wonderful. It was awesome, actually. It was a lovely day.

It was unusual turning up to emcee a wedding where you didn't know anyone at the wedding. We had never met him face to face. Wow. So he was a listener. It was a listener. Yeah, but it was awesome. Yeah, but it was quite unusual. You're like, I don't know anyone here at all He's become a dear friend Although I don't know

He's not really Probably wouldn't come to listen to the hits I wouldn't imagine Phil No Phil you can text us 4487 if you're listening True test of our friendship

And that is Spy for more You can head to the hits.co.nz Broadcasting live And mostly awake Jono and Ben New Zealand's breakfast On the hits It's been the weekend.

Well, in the large part of last week in Christchurch, it was a lot of fun. Love Christchurch. It's a beautiful city. Oh, the buildings they've built there. Yeah, it's really awesome. And art. They've painted all this art on the side of the buildings.

One in particular of a former New Zealand rugby league player. David Kidwell. David Kidwell, of all people. Yeah. It's a massive mural of David Kidwell. Yeah. Even David Kidwell would have been like, why is there a massive mural of me?

Ken Tapp. I thought it would have been like a Richie or a Dan. Yeah, it's like, I started with David Kidwell and they're going to have some more legends from Canterbury out there. Imagine David Kidwell walking past you and be like, is that me?

It's me. It's really awesome. David Kidwell, who played a test for the Kiwi, coached a couple of Kiwi games. Yeah. He played for South Sydney, didn't he? He did. He did.

Why did he get a massive mural? Well, mate, he's a legendary league player from Christchurch. Why not? Do you know who David Kidwell is? I have no idea who this man is. I'm sure he would walk past and go, who's this guy? What's David Kidwell? Legendary league player from Christchurch.

It'd be like if there was a mural of you. Why has he got a mural? I'm not a legendary anyone from anywhere. That's why you always give me grief because I got on the wall of legends. There's question marks hanging over that placement. I know. A lot of fun in Christchurch, actually. Actually, it was something else I noticed when I was wandering around Christchurch.

There's a school there, a barber school, where you learn how to be barbers, obviously. It's a year course. I was sort of wandering past, having a look in the window, because they were doing something quite interesting. They had balloons, and they were learning how to do cutthroat razoring. Oh, that always makes me so nervous when I see people. You know, they get a blade, and they can shave men's faces just with like a knife. Yeah, so I was watching the one day and they're like, oh come on and have a look. And I was like, okay, cool. So I got to watch in the class and they

had shaving foam all over these balloons and then they were doing it very gently and then every now and again, bang! And everyone got a heck of a fight. Shaving foam explodes everywhere. And I was like, whoa, that seems like what a rush. Lost another customer. What were they? Sliced in the three. Yeah, well they would have. Oh sorry mate, I've sliced the three. Yeah, well, they would have.

Oh, sorry, mate, I've sliced your throat. No, I was learning. And the balloons are probably slightly different, I imagine. More comical when you pop a balloon as opposed to slicing someone's throat. I was like, yeah, a year to be a barber was just a really full-on course. But I thought it was pretty nice. Well, you'd hope they do some training when it comes to shaving people's faces with knives. Yeah.

So it takes a year to learn that art, doesn't it? Yeah, well, that and obviously hair cutting and fades and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, so I was like, that's pretty cool. Oh, that's all stuff I don't have to worry about in my life. They can book it. They can do something. And we played Quidditch, Juliet.

I know you are a psycho Harry Potter fan. Yes. How was it? It was actually really fun. So obviously the brooms aren't flying in this game. Well, yeah. Yeah, that's obvious. But you do hold like, they used to play it with, because it started in America, obviously,

after Harry Potter, the box in the movies. And they've sort of turned it into a game you play. So they started with actual sort of brooms, but they found the bristles can be quite dangerous when you run into it. So you're just sort of holding like a little plastic tubing, sort of piping underneath. But you've got to run with your broomstick at all times.

And if you drop it, you're off your broomstick. And the captain of the New Zealand Quidditch team have been to the World Quidditch Championships. There's this humble farmer in North Canterbury who hates the Harry Potter series, but just loves the sport of Quidditch. It's a lot of fun. It's kind of like combining,

it was almost like water polo, dodgeball, rugby, netball. It's all in together. So you're trying to get the ball through the hoops, the three hoops. But not get hit as well by the other force. And then they have the snitches as well. So someone comes on the last couple of minutes of the game that isn't part of either team and just has like a yellow sock with a tennis ball inside. Are they also on a broom or are they not?

They're just running around. They're just running and they can run anywhere, like through the crowd, whatever, and they can just run and you've got to basically grab the sock off the back of the snitch and that's how you could win the game. And he said one snitch one time hopped into an Uber

during the game and then just ran off. Yeah, they had to change the rules slightly, I think, after that. But you wander around with broomsticks between your legs and you have to hold them with both hands and they're kind of sticking out the front looking it looked quite phallic didn't it? The whole time I was like

this is a bad look. It's hard to run with a broomstick between your legs. No it is. And a lot of cardio exercise isn't there? You're just running for 20 minutes. Who knew Quidditch was an actual thing in New Zealand. Gender equal too, so the teams have got to be gender equal, can be no more than four people of the same gender.

I was like, schools should start up doing that. Yeah. Because kids are crazy about Harry Potter. Yeah. Read the books. It's like, get it in the school system. Yeah, but get Quidditch out there. Mate, I felt like I was a kid.

You were. On the way back, he's like, my wife's the teacher. I'm going to get her to put it in the curriculum. Get her to call the NZQA. Oh, but kids would love it. Get some credits. Hell yeah. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, no, it is a fun sport. Oh, but kids would love it. Get some credits. Hell yeah. It's a lot of fun.

Yeah, no, it is a fun sport. Yeah, you would have enjoyed it, Juliet. Thank you. I'm jealous. I have FOMO. I can't wait to see footage or whatever I will see of it eventually. Real Kiwi blokes with soy lattes. Mmm.

Shono and Ben, breakfast on the hits. Kia ora. I'm Rachel Jackson-Lees, this is the B***h News. Yes, here's our dear friend and producer, producer Juliette, with a buffet of unconventional news story headlines with words beeped out. Now, we don't have RJL today, Rachel Jackson-Lees, on annual leave. And we've got William Tiriti, who's chiming in for the news and beef this morning. Yes, lovely, lovely deep voice.

Not chiming in, mate. Jeez, he's bringing the noise. I'm on fire. He's chiming in. What's chiming in? I don't know, chiming in. I mean, it feels like he's just popping. I mean, this guy has the most amazing voice.

He could put you to sleep if he read you a bedtime story. It's like he swallowed a velvet curtain. When you listen to William, you're like, he should be doing the show all the time, not me, not my annoying voice. Listen to him. True. This is the first news story.

TikToker finds fortune after great-grandfather sends her on... Ooh. So, TikToker finding a fortune after a great-grandfather sends her on... I was going to say a new TikTok job search. It's called Twerk and Income New Zealand. That's where they get their jobs in TikTok. That's how they make their fortune. Well, you get benefits.

Weekly allowances to keep you twerking up. I'm going to say sends, TikTok finds fortune after great-grandfather sends her a LinkedIn request on how to earn $600 per day just working from home. True. TikTok finds fortune after great-grandfather sends her on a scavenger

hunt from beyond the grave. Isn't that very cool? So he set up a big scavenger hunt. It did involve, you know, I think she was meant to take on his property. He left her his property but then left little notes around the place and then she found art with like $30,000

and just all of this stuff that her great grandfather has just left her. Isn't that very creative? A treasure hunt for all the items from the will. Yeah, pretty much. That's awesome. Isn't that very cool? Yeah.

What happens if you didn't find the treasure? It's just rotting away in the forest. Yeah, totally. A Da Vinci painting. Our next news story beeps out. And McDonald's in Florida paid people $50 to... I'm going to say McDonald's in Florida paid people $50 to figure out what Chicken McNuggets

are actually made of. I'm going to say it's an actual... This is how they're doing Happy Meals now. You've been happier by giving me $50. True, that would be a very good promotion. In McDonald's in Florida, paying people $50 to show up for a job interview. Because apparently in Florida, people aren't wanting to work for a job interview. Because apparently in Florida

people aren't wanting to work at Macca's. I don't know why, but they're trying to bribe people to turn up just at least for an interview. Don't have to take the job. Just come. Meet the team. Have a look around. See the Big Macs. See if it's for you.

And it also kind of reminds me there was another news story I saw. There was a dating app in the UK that's paying people to go on dates to encourage people to spend money now that lockdown restrictions have eased. So all these companies are paying people to do stuff. You'd think with COVID, job losses would have been at an all-time high and jobs at Maccas would be well sought after. Yeah, I know.

I always wanted to work at McDonald's when I was a teenager. A couple of friends did. They loved it. Loved it. You get some Macca's in your lunch break. Do you? Is it free? I can't remember if it was free or not.

Would it be free or discounted? It's probably discounted. Mate, Ronald's not handy. He's running a tight ship there. Fair enough. Except for in Florida where they're giving out $50. And the final one. Canadian MP caught with members of Parliament.

I'm going to say Canadian MP caught discussing issues that affect the country with members of Parliament. Yeah, that's it. I'm saying he caught the Warriors' great victory over the St. George Dragons yesterday in the NRL. What a performance. There we go. The big boy's getting his league results in there. The real answer, he was caught in the classic naked. What a performance. There we go. The big boy's getting his league results in there. The real answer, he was caught

in the classic naked, naked on Zoom. He walked in in the background, didn't realise he was on and all the members of Parliament saw all of his bits

and he had to issue an apology. All of this member of Parliament. So he had to issue an apology and I feel like that's just adding

to the tally of all the people caught naked on Zoom. I saw the video of this and he's in quite a prestigious-looking office. It doesn't seem like a naked room. You know those rooms in your house where you're like, well, I'm not going to be naked in the kitchen,

lounge, probably one of those zones. True. I don't know how he ended up naked there. Maybe he was doing bad things, things you shouldn't do in an office. Mmm. Like not putting your recycling in the correct office bin. He said he came back from a run, but even still.

It was an odd room to be naked in. Like I wouldn't be naked in here, for example. No. Because you're like, this doesn't feel like the right environment. No. And that is the news and beeps for you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben for you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Scrolling through your feed. He's just like Mike McRoberts, except his name isn't Mike McRoberts and he has no skills in journalism.

He does have arms and legs, though, like Mike McRoberts, and here he is, my friend Ben, with the news from overnight. Not quite as toned as Mike McRoberts' arms and legs, I'd imagine. He is just a toned as Mike McRoberts' arms and legs, I'd imagine.

He is just a magnificent creature, Mike McRoberts, isn't he? Yes, he is. He's a Clooney. The older he gets, the finer he becomes. Mick Roberts, I'd like him to read my bulletin. Now, over the weekend, of course, the world was watching the funeral of Prince Philip. A very sombre occasion. And that photo that went around of the Queen just sitting there alone,

dressed all in black with a face mask, just sitting, you know, because of COVID restrictions. Really sad, sad. We all knew that photo was coming when it was like, she's going to have to sit alone two metres apart from everyone.

We all knew the photo was coming. The media knew it was coming. They just couldn't wait to snap it and get it out there and melt it. It just kind of did. It was a heartbreaking photo. But over the weekend at the funeral, a New Zealander

was one of the four people. So normally, I would imagine, Producer Juliet, you know a lot more about these than me, they normally have a big choir,

wouldn't they? A massive choir, yeah. But they only had four people over the weekend and a New Zealand-born tenor, Nicholas Madden, was part of the four people and what a wonderful voice he had.

The waters rise above the highest mountain Madden was part of the four people and what a wonderful voice he had. Well, that really got the party going. Oh, yeah. Well, it's a funeral. It's amazing. You know, what do you want? What a Prince Philip. Prince Philip might have requested some of his favourite jams? He would have been like, oh, what a feeling.

Maybe. I love it when people at funerals request fun songs. Yeah, it is. It makes it better. Oh, I'd like some guy singing a song I've never heard of in Italian things. Well, that's a royal funeral. I don't imagine they have that sort of, they can't properly play. Yeah, probably. Yeah, pink, get the party started or anything like that.

And Prince Harry, all eyes seem to be on Prince Harry and Prince William and they're like, oh, they're going to talk. As you said before this morning when we were talking off air, Jono, if they were going to do any conversations, they would have had it away from the media. Well, apparently all the lip-reading experts are onto it now. What were they saying? Well, they said,

hey, I know a good time to talk about our issue. Should we do it in front of all of these cameras, the world's cameras? But all the, you may have seen this, I thought this was on our website, SHIT, You Should Care About, who do a great, it's from New Zealand actually,

they're all over the world about stuff you should care about in the world. And so The Mirror, one of the UK publications, had Prince Harry to rush home to see Meghan as soon as Philip's funeral ends. So they're obviously going, oh, he's rushing off. And then someone else had posted basically

what they're saying, what the news story is all about. It's basically, man leaves event when it finishes. To go home to family. Yeah, to go home to pregnant wife. Unusual. Now, Producer Juliet, the royalist of the show. Yes.

Did you get up and see the funeral? Yes, I did. Yeah, I set my alarm for 1.30 in the morning. Oh, my God. Half an hour before the funeral actually started, and I got to see all the good stuff. Like, I got to see all of the members of the royal family walk down towards the chapel.

I saw the pallbearers carry the casket onto the land rove. I saw all the good bits. And then watched the funeral and then went back to sleep. You are 23 years old. At two o'clock in the morning, you should be in some nightclub begging a bouncer to let you in or running around town screaming your friends' names

because you lost them. This would have been Saturday night. It was Saturday night. It was Saturday night. I'm disappointed in you. I am a grandma now. I started watching it at about 11 o'clock. There was a lot of pre-coverage.

But being a funeral, the commentary was rather slow and sombre and quite not conducive to staying awake. I couldn't last it probably longer than 20 minutes. They were focusing it on his bespoke Land Rover that he had designed. That's right. His Land Rover Hearse, which took him 18 years to design, which still doesn't add up for me, but anyway. And that is what's making news around the world over the weekend.

Paid to talk words and stuff into a microphone. It's New Zealand's breakfast. Jono and Ben on the hits. Buy the WhatsApp by doco.nz Just like eating fried chicken these celebrities are going to have instant regret after appearing on this ruthless part of the programme. Juliet, what's happening

in Spy? So you may have seen this news break over the weekend Helen McCrory who played Polly Gray in Peaky Blinders and Narcissa Malfoy in Harry Potter. She has very sadly passed away from cancer at the age of 52. It wasn't public knowledge, her cancer battle. There were a close family and friends who knew,

but they were sworn to secrecy because they didn't want it getting out in the news. And she passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by her family, and apparently she was an absolute champ dealing with cancer. She wasn't scared. She was always positive. She gave her kids advice on what to do,

how to deal with grief and things like that. Apparently six weeks before she passed away, her and her husband, who coincidentally is the guy from Homeland. Oh, the main guy from Homeland, yeah. Damien Lewis. Damien Lewis. It was a great series. They raised a lot of money for NHS workers, National main guy from Homeland, yeah. Damien Lewis. Damien Lewis. It was a great series. They raised a lot of money

for NHS workers, National Health Service workers in the UK. Raised over a million dollars. Really? Six weeks before her death, she was on television promoting this cause.

Wow. Saying donate money. And no one knew. No one knew. That's crazy. Amazing they did that. But very sad. 52 is so young.

It's also been, which is, I found this quite interesting. Before she passed is so young. It's also being, which is, I found this quite interesting. Before she passed, she told her husband, Damien, she said, I want you to,

you know, love isn't possessive. I want you to have as many girlfriends as you want after I die. I just want you to be happy. But just don't go snogging someone

at my funeral. That's what she said. He's been given a pass to play the field, has he? Oh, Damien. Yeah. And she was so good on Peaky Blinders.

Did you watch Peaky Blinders? No, I haven't seen Peaky Blinders. She's the matriarch on Peaky Blinders. Good show. Quite violent, though. Yeah. Parts where, you know, sometimes some bits happen and you can't watch. Do you ever do that?

Some movies you literally have to turn away. Really? Is it really that bad? Yeah, where you're like, ugh. It's a bit too gory. I'm not a gory guy. Do you like watching gory things, Drew?

Not really. I don't really like horror movies, it just sort of get me all anxious. Yeah. Something will love that. Yeah,

I'm a bit of a junkie for a horror movie. Do you? Yeah, I love, which is quite surprising. Yeah, but I love them.

We studied them in school and I was all over them. Yeah, give me a toy story for like being every day. Thank you. Maybe an up. A bit of a tearjerker up, isn't it? Oh, yeah.

It's the old tears rolling down the cheeks, doesn't it? Yeah. And in other slightly more lighter news, you could say Chrissy Teigen, she's obviously one of the queens of Twitter historically, I think you could say. She's returned or she quit Twitter 23 days ago because of all the negativity, and she couldn't really get away from all of it. But she's come back 23 days later saying, quitting felt like losing 2,000 friends,

and I'm just going to take the bad with the good. So we can expect more of her tweets. Can I just chime in here? Just moments ago, four minutes ago, she said, I have some big news on Chrissy Teigen. Was that the big news? Was that the big news? That was the big news, guys.

That was it. You know, this is what keeps the listeners, guys. She was a Twitter quitter, and now she's back 23 days later. Yes. That was it. That's what I hung around for. She logged back into her Twitter account. Would you like to visit?

Yeah, I will. Oh, where's my password again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's around here somewhere. That's a mission, isn't it? Remembering passwords. I'll go about 30 on the go for various websites same

I have to keep notes with all my passwords in it there's a thing last pass that does it my wife keeps saying you need to get last pass and it remembers them all

yeah on your computer it's one of my there's nothing worse on the face of the earth than having to remember a password it's the worst it is the worst

because you know you only get 3 or 4 chances and they make you change oh and then even getting like can you send me an email to reset it? Do you know what's the worst thing? I signed up to something yesterday and every time you have to log in, they then text you a code that you also have to submit.

So you submit a password and then it's like, we've now texted you a code. Every single time you log in. And I'm like, what if I'm not on my phone? And I'm like, oh, it is just grinds, I guess. Give me COVID any day. Oh, I know. And that is five and more.

You can head to thehits.co.nz. They're proud of New Zealand. Go New Zealand. If only New Zealand was proud of them. Jono and Ben, New Zealand's breakfast

on The Hits. That is our show. It's been a fun one today. School holidays. Yeah, it's school holidays today so we're both going home to babysit. No, sorry, not babysit.

Oh, babysitting. It Not babysit It's parenting It's parenting You're not babysitting Your own kids That's for sure That's the lesson It'll be fun to hang out I haven't seen them

In about five or six days We've been away In Christchurch haven't we Yeah we have It'll be fun to hang out Might go and Fall asleep or something Yeah I can imagine

You'll be like Let's go to the movies I might take us To a sleepy exorcism Hey should we all go to the movies I might need to take us To a sleepy exorcism Hey should we all go to sleep That's a fun game to play Yeah But do you drive through

The tunnel on the way home No I drive through the tunnel On the way home And I'm torn I've got an inner turmoil Happening Why's that

When I enter the tunnel And I'm inside the tunnel I don't know whether I take my sunglasses off Or not When driving through a tunnel What do you do Because if I take them off I'm like well I'm going to Put them on the end inside the tunnel, I don't know whether I take my sunglasses off or not when driving through a tunnel. What do you do? Because if I take them off, I'm like,

well, I'm going to have to put them on at the end of the tunnel. Well, how dark is it with them on? Well, that's the thing. In the middle of the tunnel, you're like, I'm really riding this out now. Oh, okay. Yeah, you see other motorists looking over, oh, he's got sunglasses on inside the tunnel.

This is long. It's a long tunnel too. I hadn't thought about that before. I guess I'm not a frequent tunnel driver like yourself. Do you sunglass in the tunnel Juliet? I think I do just ride it out because I've got too much pride to like cut them off. It's like a

battle between the sunglasses, you and the tunnel. I'll give you an update tomorrow what happened. Also tomorrow make sure you tune in. We're broadcasting live from Eden Park tomorrow as we endeavour to win you guys 5660 tickets. We're going to sit on seat after seat. It's the biggest game of musical chairs,

and you could be winning those tickets for 660, the historic concert this weekend, tomorrow on The Hits. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. Friends of Skinny. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh.