Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 23 - Jacinda Ardern, Benee, The Rude Awakening Game

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

The Rude Awakening GameBen's on TikTokWin An AdBig News Small TownWe ring someone in New Zealand to make sure they're listeningSpyLost & FoundJacinda Ardern calls inBen on pet rats...What are you using to work out?Benee called inWe reward another Iso-LegendJono & Ben's Home School Day #4See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Thursday, four weeks of lockdown, so well done New Zealand. We've got a big show today. Jacinda Ardern joins us. Benny, who's a recording artist, has got massive songs on TikTok. Popular up-and-coming recording artist. Oh, she's not up-and-coming, she's already... She's come. She's come. She's up.

She's there. I made a shocking discovery about myself this morning in the shower, Ben. What do you mean? You're laughing like you know what... No, that's all right. No, no, no. You're going to mock me. You're lobbing me up soft.

No. You're going to mock me for my white thighs or something. Did you look in the mirror? No. There we go. There we go. I thought it was coming. He said he wasn're going to mock me for my white thighs or something. Did you look in the mirror? No. There we go, there we go, thought it was coming. He said he wasn't going to do it,

he said it was a softball lob and he took it anyway. No, I don't shower waist down. I mean, I don't soap waist down, I'm soaping waist up. But you said waist down,

like completely waist down. I mean, when I say waist down, I mean waist down. Nothing, nothing's under there. Producer Julie, you see this is popular. This is actually, I mean waist down. Nothing. Nothing's under there. Producer Julie, you see, this is popular.

This is actually a debate. Not you popular. It went viral maybe like last year about whether people wash their legs. It was a big debate. Yes or no? Speaking of things going viral, my waist down. Anyway, let's get to the podcast. Lack of soaping.

Enjoy. Hygiene. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. You've done a month today of lockdown so well done everyone. You said that yesterday.

You just keep saying you said this for the last three days. You're like well done we've hit a month. I think you're like you have no concept of how long this thing's

been going. Well I'll tell you what it has been going really well during lockdown around the world. Netflix. I bet it has. So 16 million more

subscribers worldwide since COVID-19. Wow. So that takes it up to 183 million global subscribers. Do you know something very sad and slightly embarrassing too? Over the Christmas period, Ben, I was like we were trying to start a new TV show. So I got hold of the,

I guessed the email addresses of the CEO of Netflix. This guy, Reed Hastings, who's worth like $4.7 billion. And this other guy, Ted Sarandos, who was the, I think he was the head of a video shop. And now he's like the big person at Netflix. And I emailed like ted.sarandos at netflix.com. I was like, hi, it's Jono from New Zealand. Would you be interested in making a TV show with us? I'm sure.

Did he get back to you? No, never got a reply. Funny that. He might have bigger fish to fry. Yeah, one of his counting his millions. Do you know, the most popular thing on Netflix was the movie with Mark Wahlberg,

Spencer Confidential. 85 million households watched it, but they watched an average of two minutes. So I don't know if that says it was a good movie or a bad movie, but 85 million people watched two minutes of that movie. And apparently, they got deep into a Netflix hole, speaking of just two minutes. I don't know if that says it was a good movie or a bad movie, but 85 million people watched two minutes of that movie.

And apparently, they got deep into a Netflix hole, speaking of just two minutes of viewing. They determine or deem the success of a series or a show or whatever, if it's binged,

how quickly it's binged. Oh, really? So, the Tiger King, for example, would have been binged over a day or two by the average viewer. Yeah, people would have done

like seven episodes in a row. Yeah, and that's why, you know, like when credits start rolling, it flashes up directly with like next episode, next episode. Counts down, so yeah, very interesting. I'll stop talking about Netflix. This will be putting people back to sleep and we're trying to wake them up. Like starting your day with

Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. What's that? Oh no. Shut up. Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. Welcome, Kate.

She's in Stratford, Taranaki. I was born in Stratford, actually. It was a fact. Sorry? I was born in... Don't be sorry. It was a nice place. Kate, Ben was just spouting off that he was born in Stratford,

saying he was the most famous person to come out of Stratford. I did say that. Sorry, I've just got two helpers trying to be noisy already. You got the kids on, have you? Yeah, I have. Chuck them on. Chuck them on. I'll sort them out.

Hang on a sec. Oh, God. Hi. What's your name, mate? Hiya, mate. Yeah, well, listen. Hey, your mum's on the radio right now, buddy. So you just need to keep it a little bit quieter, Kate.

Don't sound so threatening to the poor kid. You have a lovely day, all right? That's a great grammar. I can't understand a word you're saying. Okay, neither can people listening to this show. He's not a pot, he's going to be a drummer. Oh, he's going to be a drummer? Oh, that's lovely.

Very random information, but we appreciate that. Kate, it is wonderful to have you on. This is the Root Awakening. We're going to cold call someone in your household and just barrage a whole bunch of game show questions down the line to them. Fresh from a slumber, who are we calling? My husband, Ethan.

Okay. What does Ethan do for a job? What does Ethan do for a job? He's a drummer on POTS as well. He looks after the kids. Okay, do you think at the end of this we can get a drum solo from one of the kids on the POTS? They're both trying already.

Hello? Ethan, are you asleep? I was trying to. Oh, well, welcome to The Rude Awakening. It's Jono and Ben. You're on the hits. Here's the first question. Winston Peters is what?

A, a sex symbol for anyone over the age of 80 and under the age of 122. B, the oldest living human being on Earth. Or C, the head of New Zealand first. C. C, well done. One from one. The name of the bar on Shortland Street is what? A, the colonic.

B, the IV. C, the gast. One from one. The name of the bar on Shortland Street is what? A, the colonic. B, the IV. C, the gastric bypass. B? The IV, two from two. Oh, Danny's got $20 hell pizza voucher so far. Who is the mascot of McDonald's? A, Donald. B, Ronald.

C, John. Donald. I feel like you're making this up. A. Donald? Yeah, I think so. You've lost $10. Sorry. Donald? Yeah, I think so. You've lost $10. Sorry.

Donald McDonald? They should have gone with Donald McDonald. That's a great name. And finally, Kanye West is married to who? A. Kim Southeast. B. Kim Jong-un. C. Kim Kardashian West. C.

Well done. $30. Hell pizza. You can have that after you get out of your bubble. The first takeaways you can have, all right? Awesome. Thank you, Cole. You can blame Kate,

and now we're going to end this wonderful segment with a drum solo on the pots from your children. Over to the kids, Kate. I've been practising. I can hear them. Okay, all right. Get the phone up to the pots, Kate. Okay, and your head, did that sound a lot...

Was that going to be a lot better, Jono? I thought it was going to be sort of like a Phil Collins in the air tonight drum solo. Obviously a little more practice needed. I can hear him. Oh, good. It was just a light clanking of pots. Just enough.

Just enough. It just gave us enough. We're wanting more. Not too much. Enjoy your day. Thank you for, well, you're not listening, but thank you for your wife for listening.

Thanks, guys. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hats. Ben, I feel like an uncle to your children and I'm an open door. They can call me anytime

and they do. They do. My kids, that's weird. Yeah, they come in and it's like, oh, Dad's doing this, Dad's doing that. I talk an open door. They can call me anytime and they do. They do. Do what? My kids, well, that's weird. Yeah, they call me and it's like, oh, dad's doing this, dad's doing that. No, I talk them through things. I'm a shoulder to lean on.

I know nothing about this. And they got in touch with me yesterday. So my kids got in touch with you? Yeah, your children got in touch with me. Now, you may have heard of the popular social media medium of TikTok. Predominantly, it's filled up with, you know, short videos of young kids, children, teenagers, dancing to popular songs, you know, looking cool.

Even has a little song from the Tiger King on there at the moment, which has turned into a dance. Carol Baskin. Killed her husband. Whacked him. Can't convince me that it didn't happen Fat him to tigers they snacking Carol Baskin Carol Baskin

They turn anything into like a quirky dance Oh the internet Imagine if we told someone a hundred years ago This is what we'd be doing Dancing to a man's murder Yeah I know when you think about it That's so wrong. Anyway, yeah, your kids got in touch with me and you're on TikTok now.

You're fully grown, fully grown, fully developed. You've been through all the stages of life. Man, you've had jobs. You've lost jobs. Your body's hairy. You're a man. And you've got a TikTok account. Yeah, because the kids are into it.

And I didn't want to be one of those parents that lose touch of what the kids are into. So I was like, hey, you can show me what to do on TikTok. And I'll have a crack at doing some dances. They even sent me a voice memo. I hope that when New Zealand is back to normal, we can all join together as a country and focus on stopping Dad being on TikTok. He's so lame. That's clearly scripted. That was clearly scripted.

That might have been. That was definitely not emailed to them. That's a pre-prepared script for them to voice to me. I mean, even Indy, your youngest, is not happy. Please make Dad stop drawing TikTok videos. His terrible dancing makes me wish TikTok was never invented. Clearly again scripted. Yeah, so this reminds me of the day that your parents joined Facebook.

And you're like, oh, Facebook's ended. That's the end of Facebook. So you reckon I've killed TikTok? I reckon you've killed TikTok. Now, I Googled this, OK? Now, these are the first things that come up when you search about TikTok. It was basically like, I'm worried about my friend on TikTok.

And here are the most common questions. My 32-year-old wife is doing something called TikTok. What is it? Should I be worried? Do I need to find a new wife? Popular question. Right. What is the point of TikTok?

And is a fully grown adult man allowed to participate? You put that one in there. That was a question probably from you. I am an adult. And why do people make fun of me for being on TikTok? And here's the final one. Why are only 13-year-olds allowed to use TikTok? Why can't a grown man enjoy it as well?

Exactly. That one's for me as well. Alright, so I am on TikTok. I'm a pretty bleak follow, so you're probably not... Why don't you start something new called Dick Talk? I think you've started that. That might actually be a bit extra, I did.

Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Don't tell the sales department because it's Jono and Ben's winning ad. Now all this week we've been giving away free ads on the edge. Don't tell the sales department because it's Jono and Ben's winning ad. Now, all this week we've been giving away free ads on the radio. We ring someone at random and we give them a free ad live on the radio. We've written half the ad and they just fill in the blanks. Surprise them with a free ad.

Yeah, you found a heartwarming story, Ben. I did actually. We've been told by management we need to be a little more heartwarming. So Ben went digging last night. He's like, first thing he Goog to be a little more heartwarming. So Ben went digging last night. He's like, firstly he Googled how to be heartwarming. And then actually that first answer came out and said, have a heart. He's like, well, I don't have one of those. So I'll have to pretend to be heartwarming.

And he's found this wonderful heartwarming story. Oh, no. Management. You don't make for like management. I've been banging on about this story for a couple of days. Heartwarming. In Hawke's Bay, there's the Singh family who own a dairy there, and they have been giving away, which I think is so wonderful at this time.

It's heartwarming. Yeah, it's flour, bread, and milk to vulnerable or elderly families, giving it away for free from their dairy. This is so good. It is lovely. A shocking business decision. I'm tired of you saying something. I mean, you're there to make money.

But in the time of the community, they're giving back. Are the supermarkets giving away free food? If anyone deserves a free ad, it's these people. So let's give them a call. Absolutely. We're heading through to Te Awa, Napier, Hawke's Bay. Lovely part of the country, Hawke's Bay, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. I like all the buildings in Napier, all the Art Deco sort of buildings, you know? Yeah. Hello, grocery store. Hello there. Have we got to the, you know? Hello, grocery store. Hello there. Have we got the Craig Street store? Yes, sir. Yeah, well, I know that because you said, hello, Craig Street store.

And then I said, have we got it anyway? You were there. You heard the conversation. I don't need to relive it. It's Giorno and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We're just reading about what wonderful things you guys are doing for the community. Oh, thank you very much. Just trying to help out.

Well, you are helping out. What we thought we'd do is we'd give you a free ad. All you have to do is fill in the blanks. Okay, sweet. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... Crate Street Store via Boss Man Dairy. Via Boss...

Oh, so is it two dairies that have joined as one? No, no. Everybody knows us as Boss Man Dairy because we've got that slogan from everyone else calling us Boss Man Dairy, so yeah. Oh, you're the Boss Man Dairy. I'm the Boss Man Dairy. Sounds like a good front for a criminal organisation.

Famous for its popular free milk and bread. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Everything, we're just convinced of. We also have real good chicken and chips and all that, you know, just all around. I do love a corner dairy chicken and chips. Oh, mate, calm down, man. We got you then. But wait, there's more, because that's not even the best thing about them.

Let me tell you about it right now. Oh, this is tough, because you went with the chicken and chips, which could be the best thing, but now you've got to think of something else on the spot. Probably the customer service you get here. And who could forget that catchy slogan? Oh, cheer boss. Cheer boss.

And their wonderful staff, who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio. Nah, I think I'll leave that out, eh? Fair enough. Boss man's got many secrets. And he won't be airing them on the radio. Definitely not. You guys are

Kiwi Heroes, what you're doing right now. That's so wonderful for the community there. Giving away free flour, free bread, free milk for families in need. Yeah, we also did, recently on Monday we did a food pack. So we had a lot of help as well. And we did rice, canned food,

sugar, eggs, bread, milk, margarine. Horrendous things like a pandemic can bring out the best in humanity and the best in New Zealand. Yeah, exactly. And everyone's starting to do it now, which is what we should have done from the start.

We should be a community at once. But, you know, we've got such a good community and people want to come and help, which is the main thing. Oh, good on you. Well, good on you for doing such a great thing. And you look after yourself with the boss, Mandiri. Yeah, you too, man. Thank you very much.

Lovely to talk to you. Stay safe. Yeah, cheers. Have a good one. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Now, today's big news for a small town comes all the way from Horofanua. Love Horofanua. You found this article being very interesting. There's a big business for sale in the Horofanua.

I love the name of this business. So this is a native bird in Wildlife Park. They've got a few owls and and their name is Alcatraz. Wonderful. So good. I mean, as soon as he saw that pun headline on the internet, Alcatraz,

you warmed the little cockles of that heart, that little punny heart. It's still making me laugh. Now, Alcatraz. So we're going to give them a call because they are selling the place. You know, I went to a – I love small, rural, farming tourist attractions. I went to one just out of Taupo and went there. And she was like, we don't have FPOS. But you can just put it in my bank account.

So at the end of the road, when you get cell phone reception, just put it in. That's an honesty system, isn't it? Yeah, it was. I didn't put the money in, obviously. Good morning, this is Jeanette. Al Catraz? Yeah. Hooped, hooped? Oh, this is Jono and Ben. We're calling from the H in, obviously. Good morning. This is Jeanette. Alcatraz? Yes. Hooped, hooped?

Oh, this is Jono and Ben. We're calling from the Hits radio station. We've just discovered about Alcatraz, and we love the name. Really? You haven't heard of us before. Oh, that's terrible. It's the world-famous Alcatraz, and you haven't heard of us? I've heard of Alcatraz, but not Alcatraz, which sounds even better.

Oh, wow. We've been here, like, for 23 Alcatraz, which sounds even better. Oh, wow. We've been here like for 23 years. Been. Thousands of visitors. Where have you been, boys? Oh, no, not obviously at the best place in the Marawatu or Haurapanoa area. Absolutely not. Hey, big new small town, you're selling the business.

We are. It's on the market after all this time. Did you ever thought of like Al Ladin or Al Gore? There wouldn't be one that we've never heard of, like Al Capone and Al McPherson. Al Pacino. I like Jack. Yeah, Mike Al Jackson and Pharrell Williams and Alton John.

And if you want to have an Al off with me, I would win, guys. Do you sell alcohol at the place or not? Pardon? No alcohol sales at the place or not? Pardon? No alcohol sales at the place? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. No license for owl-to-hole, but we do get slightly dopey with the owl-simers around here.

I remember, actually, a story a few years ago. There was a young guy who I was taking the tour into the owl house, And, of course, we always have a bit of an owl joke outside. And I started to say a few names. And he was about 13, I suppose. And so he started saying some as well. And just like off the bat, I said, do you want to have an owl off? And there was probably 20 people in the tour I was doing. And I did that.

And I beat him. I was so proud of myself. He was 13. He was 13! He was 13 years old! No, no, but when you're 13 your brain is really good. Yeah, you're right. So if anyone's in the market, basically it sounds like

it's just a wonderful forest, a bush, you can do whatever you want with with a reason obviously. It's essentially like 25 acres all up. So it's a lifestyle block. People might just want to buy it as a lifestyle block and live here because that would be the dream.

Oh, I know, Ben. You're wanting to start up a cult, aren't you? Some sort of cult. I might be, yeah. You might want to. Yeah, I'm looking into it. It's a best buy. Like the Moonies, you mean?

Yeah, yeah. Gloria Vale sort of-esque. He wants to see how that goes. You know, like there may be... I wouldn't turn that down. Just pay me the money. What you get up to is your own business. That's right.

It's my property. Absolutely. Lovely talking to you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, if you're looking for something fun and free to do with the kids in lockdown, then head to schoolgen.co.nz.

There's a new partnership between MindLab Kids and Genesis Energy. It's really cool. It's expanding their program, their School Gen program, out of classrooms and into homes across the country. Jono Online had a crack at these yesterday, so there's a whole lot of free, fun experiments online. Cool little challenges, light bulb moments and yesterday with the kids, we

made like a lava lamp, which was really cool. It was like oil, food colouring and then you drop a broccol in and it does this cool bubbling thing and then we left an egg in white vinegar for 24 hours because it's meant to turn rubbery and here was the result. This is high risk stuff. How are we feeling? Oh, nervous. Excited.

Okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm going to drop the egg. Three, two, one. Yeah! We did it! This is the greatest day of my life! This is the greatest day of my life. I got quite excited by it, and I said that in front of the kids. They were born in your life.

Bouncing an egg was the greatest day of your life. It was quite cool. I really enjoyed it. You the greatest day of your life. It was quite cool. I really enjoyed it. So if you want to get a... You need better days in your life. If you want to have a crack at the free fun experiments and challenges, that website again is schoolgen.co.nz.

Genesis School Gen, energising young minds, inspiring future Kiwi innovators to learn more about STEM, which is science, technology and engineering amassed for 14 years. So a very, very cool thing they're doing with MindLab. Head online to schoolsyen.co.nz for more. What a great thing.

Now, we are New Zealand's Breakfast. It's a pleasure to have you on. And we've started this week. This is our first week on the mornings, and we've gone, we're New Zealand's Breakfast. And we've been phoning New Zealand to see if they're listening to New Zealand's Breakfast. And so far, none of them have been.

No. So I think we'll just keep doing this until at least one person is listening to the show. We're going to put a call through now, I think, to Invercargill to see if they're listening right now. Hello, Carl, it's Savoy. Sorry, mate, we're just going to have to get you to turn down your radio. We don't want it to feed back on the show,

because sometimes if you're listening to the radio and then you're on the actual show, it feeds back. No, I don't think it's on. It's John Owen being calling from the hits. We knew probably you wouldn't be listening. We're checking to see if everyone was listening, and clearly you're not. Yep. No follow-on.

No follow-on. No follow-on. That's all. It's just a wee bit of a survey, a wee bit of a poll. We'll put you down in the no category. Cool? Yep. Anything we could do to make you listen?

Give us a better radio so we can actually see what numbers are on it. Awesome. It's not an old radio and it doesn't show what we'll hear. Yeah, so I mean, you would be... Let's create a hypothetical situation. If you were to listen to a radio station right now, you can't obviously

see the radios, you can't see the numbers, it's annoying. What would you be listening to? Depends on the type of the day. What about breakfast time? What about, you know, early in the morning? Early in the morning? Yeah.

You need something to wake you up. Yeah, so if there was a radio station and two particular hosts who may be on the phone right now. Anything you can put on loud. Loud, yep, yep, yep. So you'd listen to the hits, wouldn't you? Yep. There we go. So I'll put you down as a yes now.

You've changed from a no to a yes. I feel like we've talked you around, but anyway, no further questions. Can we chalk you up as a listener? Yeah, well, you say, well, if I don't really listen to the radio, I don't listen. That's all right, though. Yeah, well, you say, well, if I don't really listen to the radio, it's all shit. That's all right, though.

If I was, yeah. Oh, thanks. No, and don't try and make us feel better now, mate. I've still got tapes. I've got a tape deck in the seat.

Oh, you've got a tape deck? I'm not really up for this. You've got a tape deck? Wow. And he's like, I'm not really up for this. No, you're about 30 years behind.

That's old school. That's awesome. You have a great day, mate. Stay safe. And we'll probably never talk again, but it was fun while it lasted. See you, mate. Good on you. A tape deck.

This phone call would have blown his mind. He's like, how is this witchcraft working? Where are these people in my ears? No wonder his numbers didn't work. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy.

Know what's up. Spy.co.nz That lady sounds like she's loving life. Who is that lady? I don't know. Oh, in the intro. Yeah.

She sounds so happy. I wish I had a little bit of her happiness. So Bruce Willis is self-isolating with his ex-wife, Demi Moore Moore with their three adult children in Idaho. You told us that and I was like, well, that seems fine. But then Bruce Willis is what?

Yeah, so Bruce Willis' current wife said that the reason for that was because one of Bruce's kids with his current wife was playing in a playground and, real dodgy, found a needle and tried to poke her shoe with it and it went through into her foot. So they had to go to LA hospital. Oh, really? And then they had to wait in LA for the results. And then by that time, all the lockdown happened so they couldn't leave LA. So that's why. It's a real weird story. It was one of my favourite hobbies as a kid,

picking up random needles and poking them into my siblings. I do not recommend doing that. What a fun game that is. Wow. Pin the needle into your sibling. No, please don't. And Michael Bublé brought his one-year-old daughter, Vida, onto a live stream stream and they did a

little duet together and it's probably the cutest thing you'll ever hear i love it when you call me i wish it wasn't so damn hard to leave and when we kiss it cute but bubles are really carrying that whole thing. He's sung like 90% of the song. It's very cute, though. I love Bublé. Yeah, he's awesome, isn't he? He's a good man. Does he do anything apart from release Christmas albums?

He does come out at Christmas like Santa Claus, right? He's back. Comes out of his cave. It's December, it's time for Wheel Out Bublé. He does a lot of swing and lounge sort of stuff as well. He's pretty cool. And for more Spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. After 8 o'clock on the show, as we said, Jacinda Ardern.

But next, if you want to win. Can I just point something out? Jeremy Wells has just walked past the window holding two 10kg tubs of Makona coffee. Okay. What is he going to do with those giant tubs? I don't know. This is your new breakfast.

Health Star rating still pending. It's Jono and Mano Mahetz. Over 4,000 breaches for people breaching lockdown from the police. Really? Producer Humphrey got pulled over yesterday driving home. And apparently it's a $4,000 fine if you're non-essential

and you're caught out of your bub. Well, stay in your bub. Don't burst that bub. Don't want to catch the rona. No, exactly. Now, we found something around the office because there's hardly anyone here and we want to give it away right now.

When you leave two radio broadcasters in a mostly empty building, they find stuff to give away that they probably shouldn't. It's Jono and Ben's Lost and Found. Yes, a very empty building we're working in at the moment and we found in a box, brand new. It's a Sony 50-inch full

HD HDR LED TV. I imagine that thing's worth quite a lot. It is worth. I was just sitting in a meeting room and I love the detail you go into the TV that we just found. It's full HD, HDLR. I was just reading off the box. I don't know what any of those things mean. We figure we're sharing viruses, why not share TV?

So that's what we're doing right now. 0800 The Hits if you want to play. Candice, how's the Waikato this morning, matey? It's pretty foggy. Yep, always is foggy. Sits in a bit of a... Oh yeah, it does. Like a valley sort of thing, right?

It does. Yeah, sort of burns off, what, round about 11 o'clock? Then you get a wonderful day across those beautiful dairy farms. Yeah, definitely. You milking a cow now? No. No, I'm not. I'm standing in my kitchen. Not everyone in the Waikato milks cows. You'll be happy to know, Candice, I've milked Ben already

this morning. Put him in my coffee. Okay, mate, since we're giving away this TV, we've got TV-themed questions. You need to get all five correct in order to win it. Here's question number one. Which New Zealand soap is set in the suburb of Ferndale?

Short Street. There we go. Well done. One from one, all five to get the TV. Oh, no pressure. No pressure. There's a lot of pressure. A lot of pressure.

Which talk show ends with a segment involving a red chair? Graham Norton. Oh, my God. She's so good. She's got two of them, too. She's so good. And the Looney Tunes. Who was Wiley E. Coyote chasing?

Roadrunner. Yes. Three for three. Come on. She's two questions away from a semi-legal television. Question number four. What game has aired on TV One every Saturday night at approximately 8pm since 9? Not home.

Oh, Janine. Oh, my God. This is it. This is it. Come on, we can do this. It gets harder. The questions get harder. Okay.

You can ask other people in the household. They may know the answer to this. Who are the current hosts of the kids' television show, What Now? Chris Cook and Ian Wells? Yes. Stella Maris? Yes! She's won a 50

and stolen television! Oh my gosh! Well done, TV! It's won a 50 and stolen television! Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, well done, TV. It's all yours. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. Now, if you get a visit from the police asking you about receiving stolen goods,

we never talked. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe it. I can't believe it either. We're going to have to steal something else and give that away tomorrow. Yeah. Thank you so much. That TV was meant to pull us through three weeks of the radio show.

You've won it after four days. Well, well done. We'll have something else to hopefully give away tomorrow. There you go. Welcome to the show, guys. Oh, well, thank you so much. Wonderful, Wayne. Well, thank you so much for listening.

And you enjoy all 50 inches of their television. I definitely will. Thank you so much. Good on And you enjoy all 50 inches of their television. I definitely will. Thank you so much. Good on you, Candice. Stay safe. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're very privileged to have this person on the phone right now,

super busy and doing a wonderful job of running the country right now. The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, how's it going? Yeah, not bad. How are you guys? We're all right. Now, last time we spoke to you, you had some spider problems, some white tail spiders in your house. Did Clark sort those out? Case by case. Well, not that you

can't sort them out. That sounded very sexist of me. I just meant you were quite busy, and Clark was... We allocated that for Clark, right? Well, no, like, you know, on an individual basis, the spiders are still going, but I don't think we've got to the root of the problem yet. Okay, right.

Well, we'll follow it up again. We promised we weren't going to sleep until we sorted those spider problems. We have slept a bit. We've slept a bit, sorry. Now, of course, next week we go from level four to level three on Tuesday. A lot of people excited about potentially getting some takeaways or getting something delivered. Are you used to working in a fish and chip shop?

Is there anything that you're craving or getting Clark to get or get delivered? I will admit to having thought about fish and chips a few times over the last few weeks. And contrary to what many people would think, even if you work at a fish and chip shop for four years, you don't ever stop eating fish and chips. Yeah, right. Did you used to like, what's the secret to a great fish and chip? I think you've got to drain properly. Make sure that you drain it properly.

And then you don't want someone who's stingy on the salt. That's just my view because I was always the salter. Was your job just salting the fish and chip? Is that your only job in the chain? No. Salt ramp sell. But yeah, I probably contributed to half of Mor my investment. Who would have thought that salt shaker would have gone on to be Prime Minister of New Zealand?

That lady salted my chips one. I'm too much on. I bet your Hosking's not grilling you on your fish and chip past, is he? Not yet. Never say never. But of course, we are going into Level 3 next week, and a serious question right now, because a lot of our listeners, including us, we are going into Level 3 next week. And a serious question right now because a lot of our listeners,

including us, we're parents, and even my wife's a teacher, and a lot of people are nervous about having to send their kids back to school if that's the only option. What do you say to them? Yeah, actually, this is – I was talking to a school principal last night, and they've already reached out to all their parents, and they're a high school. They only have a handful of kids coming back.

And so that's what we're really wanting. Really, it's parents who can't keep their kids from home. Yep, they've got the option of children being in school. But if you think about it in the same way as all the parents who are going back into the workforce, because we'll have about 400,000 people going back to work, it's all about doing it safely. So in the same way we've got to look after the adults,

we've got to do the same for kids. And so keeping them in small groups. They won't be, if they're at high school, going around multiple different classrooms. They'll be in small groups with the same people every day just to manage any contact with others and just managing their return to school. So it's the same as what we're doing for lots of places,

just making sure we've got a plan and we're looking after kids. My son Oscar wanted me to pass a message on to you. The longer you can get the lockdown going, the better for him. He's really enjoying just being at home, not having to go to school. Not every child would say that, so that's big props to you. Now, Prime Minister, you've obviously been wrapped up with COVID over the last few weeks, I mean every conversation you have from the moment you wake

to the moment you sleep is COVID related and we figure you may have missed out on some important things that have been happening, non-COVID related things so we wanted to have a bit of a game show with the Prime Minister, this is What has been happening while COVID's on

Now of course these are things we don't expect you to know anything about because, as John, I said, you've been very busy and doing a great job getting us through these unsettling times. Yeah. You ready? Yes. Please welcome our first contestant. She hails from Morrinsville, mother of one.

Her hobbies and interests include navigating her way through a tricky pandemic. Please welcome Jacinda. I did not sign up for this. This is the last time we're going to have Jacinda on the show. Tell us a fun fact about yourself, Jacinda. Oh, we've already covered it. I used to work at a fish and chip shop.

Wonderful, wonderful stuff. First question. Joe Exotic is the star of what? A. A respected... Oh, wonderful stuff. First question. Joe Exotic is the star of what? A, a respected... Tiger King. Oh, she knows. I live in a cave. She knows Tiger King.

One for one, Jacinda. There was a huge international online concert over the weekend. Organised by who? A, Lady Gaga. B, Winston Peters. Or C, Dennis from Tiano. A. Lady Gaga.

Two from two. And the last one. During the week, social media star How To Dad sparked a national debate over what? A, letting his six-year-old drive the car. B, which order your cutlery is meant to sit in the drawer? Or C, announcing his decision to run for Parliament later this year? Oh, I totally missed that. I totally missed that.

Believe it or not, we had a national debate over which order the cutlery was... I was going to say, is kids not sick? So that leaves me. It's cutlery, yes. Well done.

You've won a double pass to the movies. We'll send you off to Reading Cinemas. You and Clark can go along and Ben and myself can offer... It's 2021. Yeah. Well, we'll offer our babysitting services, $20 an hour tax free.

Great, thank you. Hey Jacinda, thank you so much for your time this morning. We know how busy you are and thank you for doing such a great job navigating our country through these difficult times as we said before. Awesome. Look after yourselves guys. You too Prime Minister. At what point do you think she regretted that?

She's still on the line. The songy cornflakes of radio.ted that? She's still on the line. Let's go through your quiz. The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jono, I've talked to you about this before, about a rat problem. What? A rat problem.

I thought you said a rash. Oh, no. And I gave you the cream and I said, give it two weeks. It's only been one. It'll sort itself out. Okay. A rat problem. We don't want to talk about the'll sort itself out. A rat problem. We don't want to talk about the other thing

on air. The rat problem. All over his back. Yeah, it's a terrible problem. Looks like something from a James Cameron movie. Okay, so we've got a problem with a rat. Now I've had this rat. The rat is the size, producer Juliet's here as well. The rat is, he's been around to our house before. He's visited before. A few months ago. And he's basically the size, producer Juliet's here as well. The rat is, he's been around to our house before.

He's visited before a few months ago. And he's basically the size of a cat. And the dog was barking the other night and I was like outside and I was like, oh, I think it might be the rat's back. The rat is back. Guess who's back. The rat is back. I don't, you know, I'm not one of these people that are, I'm not particularly brave

I don't think anyone enjoys one on one contact with rats Well Do you? Are you a fan of rats? I used to have a pet mouse When I was like a child And that made me kind of like rats Not wild ones

But pet ones I can hold and deal with I do feel sorry for the rats community because they probably look at us patting dogs, patting cats, and they're like, what's wrong with me? I'm hairy. I've got a tail. I'm no different to them. We're going around going, you dirty rat.

Checking them and trying to kill them. So I went out in the back, yeah, the dog was barking and I was like, I think this might be the rat's back. And it was again, the dog had got it cornered, but the dog was barking. And I was like, I think this might be the rat's back. And he was, again, the dog had got cornered. But the dog was the same situation as I was telling you a couple of months ago, Jono. It was like about two meters from the rat. And the rat was cornered. Social distancing?

Yeah. It was actually quite good. Yeah. And then the rat just started hissing. And the dog didn't want to go near it. And I didn't want to. And then it started launching again at me and the dog, like jumping towards us. It's got a ratitude.

He's coming at you. Not social distancing. And I couldn't, I don't know what to do. What do you do in that situation? Well, I was going to say my first thought was just get one of the, the spray that you kill ants with. Oh, Raid. Raid.

I don't know if that works. Glen 20 is about all we got at home at the moment. We had a rat problem and then the kids saw it and they're like oh the rat they loved the rat

they loved the rat oh really and then one day the rat went missing and they said what happened to the rat and I was like well he went for a swim

oh did you what he just went he had a great swim let's just say he had a great swim but did you let's just say

he's still swimming in heaven oh jeez through the oceans of heaven but if actually anyone on the text if you can help me out here because I don't know what to do I'm too scared to actually

do anything physically because this rat was hissing and jumping at me I don't think there's anything you can do if there's a jumping rabies lady rat I just went back inside again and that's twice

I had this happen to me before and I went back inside shut the door the dog came with me and we'll sort that out another day. He's got like, he just adopted a cat before COVID. He's got a dog. He's got a rat.

And now I've got a rat. He's slowly turning into Noah from Noah's Ark. Soon he's going to grow a beard and wear a loincloth. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Of course, we're in week, well, creeping to week five of lockdown now, right? You love your lockdown updates.

I do. How long we've been in lockdown. He's like, a month of lockdown, which means, you know, we'll talk about it at the moment. It's lockdown. Just the structure of the way the weeks work, which does mean, yes,

five weeks of lockdown next week, Ben. Thank you, thank you. Oh, it ticked over because it started on a Wednesday. It's very confusing. I'll talk more about it later. And, you know, you look at me and you're like,

mind, body and soul type of character. Yeah. Eat, pray, love. My body's a temple. You? Yeah. Oh, know, you look at me and you're like, mind, body and soul type of character. Eat, pray, love. My body's a temple. You? Yeah. Oh yeah, definitely. A temple for onion dip and Heineken. I reckon if you, I'm just so full of onion dip and Heineken that if you put a chip down my throat, you could actually just get some dip and use me as

a dipping bowl. Well, some people are coming out of lockdown a little bit buffer, aren't they? A little bit better than me. And one of those people, he's not only a nurse working on the front line, he's one of our essential workers, but he's also got the body of a Greek god. It's like a Greek, it's like bloody

Zeus made love to the rock and they had this guy as their child. Please welcome Franz Arevalo. Welcome. How are you going everyone? Increasing the hotness of this show by 300% So good, so good to be here Now you're a nurse and you're on the front line of testing people for COVID, right?

That's right, so I'm currently working at a testing station doing clinical leads And it's actually been quite hectic, but it's been fun as well Yeah, well good on you for doing that. I mean, jeez. Oh, I appreciate that. Thank you for putting your buff body on the line every day. Yes. Has anyone tested you for sexiness?

I haven't actually. I've just got the results back and you've tested positive. Oh, I'm just kind. Because we saw an article on you, on the Herald, a New Zealand Herald on you. So not herald a new zealand herald on you so not only you're commending what you do um you know for our country testing people for covid but also that you've kept up your fitness regime because obviously gyms are closed what sort of items are you using at home to stay fit that's actually a good question um

it's been it's been it's been challenging for the last four weeks, just trying to incorporate new routines. But what I like to do for the last four weeks was using water weights. And it's something that was out of the ordinary, but I'm actually learning something out of this. And it's something that I'm actually challenged as well. So these are basically like water cooler, you know, the water cooler you'd have at work. You've got two of those bottles and you're doing weights. And then you also use your microwave for what?

That's right. So I felt like, I don't know, but this is something that I've actually been asking myself for the last few weeks. And it is something out of the ordinary, but I thought about like, what if God is actually leading us into a new routine? A new routine.

A squatting microwave. Squatting, yeah, you're squatting with your microwave. Absolutely. It is really uncomfortable. It's out of the normal, but what if what we thought was good and comfortable wasn't really comfortable for Him? So something that I was actually battling in my mind at the same time, being able to put them into action.

Well, that's good. It's good. Yeah, I mean, it's good you're not letting yourself go. And, I mean, people like you, we need people like you, not only to keep everyone safe, but to give us something to perv at on Instagram. So, I mean, maybe I should go home, do some shoulder raises with my neighbour's car or something.

There's items we can use to work out. Life as we knew it is not life as now. And like Fran says, you know, you can basically look at new ways of training, which is awesome. Hey, Fran, thank you so much for your time, bud. Really appreciate it. 0800 the hits.

Unusual items you're using to work out. Can you beat Fran's squatting microwaves? On the phone from Wellington, Stacey, what is it? I've actually been using a couple of my favourite bottles of gin. Oh, squatting gin. Are you using those just like, what, towards their mouth and drinking them, or are you actually using them as exercise equipment? We'll be definitely getting lighter as the weeks go by.

Yeah, yeah. You're like the workout regime of a Russian deep-sea sailor, pumping bottles of gin. And after the workout, I mean, you've got to keep hydrated during the workout as well. And Alex, welcome. What are you using to work out?

Unusual items? So I am putting the kids in the wheelbarrow and running them around the block. Oh, that's a good idea. A little fun activity for the kids and something for you to get buff with. Well, it's working. Downhill's a lot easier than uphill.

Uphill's more of a walk. Yeah. It's just a shame when you run into a rock and the kids go hurtling out of the wheelbarrow. Yeah, true. There might be some safety issues. That builds character, though, doesn't it? Thank you very much for your call, Alex. Cheers for listening, matey.

Cheers, guys. Remember to double pump the vogels. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're joined by a special guest now. You know her from the smash hits like this. She's the most popular person in New Zealand with Ben in her name, which sucks for me, but it's great for her. It's Benny.

How's it going? Hello. I'm good. Hold on. Have you spoken to Uncle Ben's Rice about this? Well, he's international. He's international, Ben. Even Benny, who's big on TikTok,

still couldn't get to the level of Uncle Ben just yet. Benny, how's your bubble going? My bubble's actually quite good, thanks. I'm actually, I'm just working in my bubble, so it's kind of nice. I saw you yesterday on Instagram saying you're having issues with regrowth at the moment. I think it looks fine over Zoom,

but I'm not meaning to regrowth shame you or anything, but what's going on? Well, I just, I like, okay, I read this like meme and I find memes funny because I'm not very cool, but it was like a picture of this girl's head and the regrowth was down here and I laughed at it for some reason. And I like, I can relate to that. I just feel like mine's going to be like down here by the time I can see the outside. Can I just put it, Ben was like, I don't

want to regrowth shame you, but then you just clearly regrowth shamed her. Benny brought it up on her Instagram. I'm having trouble with hair growth, Benny. That's my problem. Hasn't come back during COVID. He'd kill for some regrowth right now, wouldn't he?

He'd love that. What were you meant to be doing that COVID has stopped? Were you meant to be going overseas? Yes, I had my second show last night. Where was it going to be? Last night? In the States. Oh, you're meant to be in America right now.

Oh, no. I mean, yeah, but it's, yeah. Hey, well, that's probably the last place on earth you want to be right now. Yeah, which at the moment, that's the scary times in America right now. I know. Oh my God. There are protesters for like... I know, we were talking about that.

Yeah, people are like, oh, it's our constitutional right to get out there. And you're like, well, come on guys, there's a whole virus. And then they finish with a good old USA chant. USA, USA. Now, Betty, just recently, before obviously lockdown, you were interviewed by Sir Elton John. Who is it? Oh, my God. Now, Betty, just recently, before obviously lockdown,

you were interviewed by Sir Elton John. How was that? That was pretty insane. That was hella weird for me, but, like, it was the coolest thing, and he's, like, the sweetest human, and we, like, played him a few songs of, like, Kiwi music, and I played him, like, a couple of, like, pretty low-key artists, and he was, like, he had seriously listened to it, and I was, like, it's interesting because like these, like a couple of like pretty low key artists. And he was like,

he had seriously listened to it. And I was like, it's interesting. Cause he's like this icon, but he has like, he obviously genuinely cares to like take time out of his life to listen to new artists, which I think is awesome. Well,

he picked one of your songs. He's like, that should be a single. And now that's blowing up big on TikTok. He did. That's insane. So does Elton now want royalties for that decision? He might have enough.

What I love about you too, Betty, is there's a photo of you and Machu from 660 and Elton John, and you're just yourself. I love that about you. You've got double thumbs up, big grin, exactly how I would be if I was with Elton John. I mean, that's awesome. Don't go changing because that's so cool.

Thank you. Yeah, I was very excited. I feel like I can't cover anything, so it's just like, yeah. I know. When you were with Elton John, he definitely deserves two thumbs. It's not a single thumb. Now, I have a theory on Elton, and you obviously met him. Don't, don't.

He obviously cut his show short. It almost drove the country into combustion when you had a meltdown. I used to play for like 90 minutes. He had walking pneumonia. Well now, was the walking pneumonia coronavirus? Don't say it. You can't say it. Did he bring coronavirus

to New Zealand? Benny, your thoughts. That's terrible. You cannot say that. Thank you. Thank you, Benny. This is what I kept saying to him. I knew he was going to say this because he said that to me off the air and I'm like, do not say that. Thank you. Thank you, Betty. This is what I kept saying to him. I knew he was going to say this because he said that to me off the air, and I'm like, do not say that. Well, the thing is. No, stop saying.

He actually, he was actually really ill, which was really sad. Like, even just meeting him, like, I could tell that he was not having a good time. But just the fact that he fit us in to, like, we flew to Sydney for a day, and he took the time out when he was like, obviously not in a good state. I think that kind of showed a lot about

like who he is, which is really cool. A lovely interaction with you. I was just saying, I haven't heard of walking pneumonia before. You could have just said that. You could have just said that. Now, Benny, of course,

two of your songs have gone massive worldwide on TikTok. Even people like Jennifer Lopez has got your song in one of her TikTok videos. I mean, that must just blow your mind. It's pretty, it's all quite surreal to me, I think. It's all very weird. But, I mean, it's crazy. How's that Insta account? Must be blowing up, mate. Shut up. Nah, insane. I've watched YouTubers who I used to watch

and I was like nine, do the dance, which is crazy. But, I've like watched like YouTubers who I used to watch when I was like nine do the dance which is crazy but I feel like I'm still just like the same idiot you're not mate you're an internationally

famous recording artist now yeah you're a better class of human being you are awesome stay the same you are as we said before

it's so good watching your success and I know you've got so much more to go worldwide this is awesome so thank you for your time stay safe in your success and I know you've got so much more to go worldwide this is awesome so thank you for your time stay safe in your bubble

and we'll catch up with you soon thank you so much take care see you Benny serving bowls of lols for breakfast actual lols may not be served it's Jono and Ben

on the hits somehow these two clowns received an essential service certificate but it's time for someone that's truly essential it's Jono and Ben's

ISO legend thanks to GrabOne I really like doing this part of the show where we hand out a $250 GrabOne voucher. GrabOne, wonderful website where you can get bunion protectors, meat vouchers. You always focus on the more quirky stuff. They've got amazing food packs, amazing restaurant deals, amazing hotel deals. An exercise resistance program.

I don't know what it is. I've been resisting exercise for a long time, so I don't know if I've got a program to resist it. But they do have a whole bunch of stuff on there. Very cheap as well. It's really cool. Really affordable. Your Everyday Essentials delivered today.

Grab one. Thank you to them. And thank you to this person we're about to call right now. Yeah, you can nominate someone you think who is deserving of becoming an ISO legend, someone on the front line, working every day, protecting us, helping us.

This has been nominated by Susan. If you want to get in touch with us, you can go to thehits.co.nz. Hi, it's Megan speaking. Hi, Megan.

It's John Owen being here from The Hits. How are you? Good. How are you? Yeah, good. Hey, you're on the radio. Right.

And I don't know if that's coming as a surprise or not. You've taken it well. You're taking it in your stride and you've just won a $250 Grab One voucher for being an essential worker and an ISA legend. Oh my God, that's fantastic. Thank you so much. Tell everyone what you do for a job. I am a registered nurse and I work in a prison. Oh, you work at Tongariro Prison? Yep, I certainly do. I've just started actually. How are the, because I mean,

I'm not going to say you forget about the prisoners but I mean they're going through the same thing as everyone else. How are they handling like social distancing in prison? Oh, we've put some really good measures in place to make sure that people are applying the government guidance, I guess. So I work with a great nursing team and they've been really good at enabling people to understand what they need to do.

So that's good. Does it stop, obviously I guess at the moment it's stopping people coming to visit because everyone's in lockdown. And I guess after that as well, you'll be very selective about who comes in and testing people as well, right? That's exactly right. And we're also doing temperatures as people come in to make sure that they're not coming in unwell. Oh, that's really good. I know, Ben, you sneak a lot of stuff into prison,

don't you, for your family? Here we go. Yeah, I know. I shouldn't tell. I shouldn't say it. I think he doesn't want to hear about this. No. Now we know.

We know. They know about you. They know about you, Ben. They've heard about you. You've obviously run the x-ray through his cavities. Being in the nursing department, you've seen the insides. You know what he's got in there. Put a glove on.

Put a glove on. Yeah, we've been there before. It's amazing what I can get through. Hey, you enjoy that $250 grab on Voucherinda. Congratulations for all the fine work you're doing, Megan, at the prison there, okay? Thanks so much. It's amazing. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Good morning, class. Quiet, please. Quiet, please. Quiet! I said shut your pie holes! Apologies, that really went from zero to 100. Welcome to Jono and Ben's homeschool, a renegade, unsanctioned educational faculty fully supported by the Ministry of Education in no way at all. Now, tuck in your socks and pull up your shirts.

I'm pretty sure that's how that goes. Please stand and welcome your teachers with literally no teaching qualifications whatsoever, Mr. Pryor and Mr. Boyce. Hello, class. Welcome along to Jono and Ben's homeschooling. Take the role, Ben. Here. Jono.

Here. Everyone's here. We're ready to go. Now, if you want to play, 0800TH homeschooling. Take the roll, Ben. Here. Jono, here. Everyone's here. We're ready to go. Now, if you want to play, 0800THEHITS is the phone number. Basically, over the next hour, we play some fun little quizzes, and you can win for your kids or for your family a Disney Plus year subscription, which is pretty awesome. So thank you to Disney Plus.

As we said earlier, they've got all the Marvel movies, heaps of Disney classic movies, all the Simpsons episodes, and Onward is out tomorrow which looks awesome, voiced by Chris Pratt and Tom Holland who was Spider-Man from the Pixar Studios.

Oh, I love Chris Pratt. Yeah, he's good, eh? Yeah, he does well. Is it animated, did you just say? Yeah, it's like... Because I'm not listening when you said it's animated.

Yeah, it's Pixar Studios. Yeah, right, okay. It's like they're the elves and the dad's like, yeah, they've got to basically bring, they've got half their dad and they've got to try and get the rest of him.

I always think the voicing gig for those actors must be the sweetest thing on earth. They get paid top dollar and they just turn up wearing G-strings. I imagine that's how they turn up to work. Oh, maybe it is. Chris Pratt just turns up in a sparkly G-string. He'd look good in a sparkly G-string. He would look fantastic.

So it's a pretty simple hour of schooling. Basically, there's going to be four classes in total. We get a star pupil on right now, 0800 the hits. You can give us a call. If you last all the way through to the end, you become the ducks. You win that Disney Plus subscription. However, if you just get one question, we are savage. One question wrong, you're expelled from the school.

You're out of here. History class is next, but we're joined by a big celebrity before 10 o'clock on the show, and we like to give clues out throughout the hour. Here's your first one. Hi, Jono and Ben. I was born in Glasgow, and I was brought up just outside of it. Ooh, okay, Scottish.

Scottish? Yeah. Who are we talking to? We'll find out very shortly. Jono, we'll find out. Obviously, you've done your research for the interview, so it's good to know. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's history.

History class. They say it never repeats unless this isn't a replay segment. That's what that guy usually says. He's checked out today, clearly. Our star pupil, she's from Auckland. Jess, welcome, you big nerd. Hi, guys. How are you?

What other school do the principals shame the students? No, it was decided, Jess, sorry. I'm just the caterer. I'm not just the caterer. I'm the groundsman. Ben's the principal. I can abuse anyone I want. I don't think the groundsman.

Anyway, Jess, you don't need to hear us bickering. You've come to try and win that Disney Plus subscription. Yeah, I have. Hey, good on you. She's like, there's no other reason why I'd call you. She's got nothing else to say to you, Ben. Okay, Jess, Ben is going to hold up famous figures from history. I'm going to describe them.

You've got to try and get six in 60 seconds. Okay, buddy? Yeah. Love your work, Jess. Here is the first one. Start the clock. He is a redhead musician and... Oh, yeah, T, buddy? Yeah. Love your work, Jess. Here is the first one. Start the clock. He is a redhead musician and... Oh, Ed Sheeran.

Well done. He's the big dog at Shortland Street. Many marriages and affairs and many children. Shortland Street character. He... Dr. Chris. Always talking to the DHB. Move on.

No, move on. He was in the Basketball Diaries. He was in a movie called The Beach. He was in Titanic. Oh, Chris Warner for the other one, sorry. Yes, Chris Warner, yes. Yeah, yeah. And he was in the Titanic.

Old mate let him drown. Leonardo DiCaprio. Yes. Leonardo DiCaprio. Everyone's one something in my show. I'm yelling very loudly. I now have my own network I'm probably the most famous lady

And very inspirational We'll move on Oh, not sure, sorry That was Oprah He's the star of the Tiger King Currently serving 22 years in prison Oh, Joe Exotic Well done

He, former Prime Minister of New Zealand Three-way handshake Oh, John Key. Now, the bell went. But I don't care because I like to run our classes after the bell. Teach the students more. You're still our star pupil. You've got 6 and 60, Jess.

Oh, thank you so much. Well done. Hold on, Jess. We'll be back with you next as we move to our next class and see if you can hang on to get that Disney Plus subscription. English is next and don't forget if Jess gets one question wrong

0800 the hits you can become the star pupil and win. Of course we have a bigger guest joining us before 10 o'clock and we like to give clues throughout the hour. Here's your next one.

Hey guys, I've mentioned my bowels in every single radio interview I've ever done. So here's a fun fact for your show. I also pee in the shower. Someone from Scotland.

Very bowel heavy in content. Okay. Who is this? Find out. I'm going to talk to them before 10 o'clock. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram.

A lot of lovely stories coming out of lockdown. Like in Masterton where I grew up, residents have got together to make 90 food packs yesterday because they ran out of food packs for the town. Oh, isn't that nice? So it was really cool. They donated stuff and put stuff together, Masterton. So it's good on you.

Good on you, Masterton. Masterton will be good too through the other side because they've never really had tourists arriving anyway, so they don't have a problem about that. Masterton's been in isolation for about 55 years. Yeah, so we'll be good. I love you, Masterton. It's time for English.

Fun fact, English is actually John Owen Benn's second language. And Ben Masterton loves you. They just text. It's Masterton here. We love Ben as well. Now, we are in the middle

of our homeschooling programme. Jess is our star pupil. If she's still on at the end of class, she wins the Disney Plus 12-month subscription. Jess, you made it. Made your way through history class. If she's still on at the end of class, she wins the Disney Plus 12-month subscription. Jess, you made your way through history class. Now it's time for English.

Yes. You're good at English? Hopefully. I took it in most of high school, so hopefully my English suits will be fine. These are words that we don't know the meaning of. Jono and I have tried to come up with our own fake meanings just to trick you,

and there is the real meaning as part of these answers. Okay, so Producer Juliet, I think you'll do well at this. You're speaking English pretty well so far. Got an advantage. So Producer Juliet is going to read out the word and the potential meanings. You have to tell us which is the correct one. The word is humdudgeon.

Does this word mean an imaginary illness where a hummingbird lives, or is it a type of boiled sweet? I'm going to go with a can you repeat the word again? Humdudgeon. I'm going to go with a type of boiled sweet. Yes, I'm sorry. It was an imaginary illness. Oh, no. I've never heard that word before. No, neither have we. So we're trying to learn something. So there we go.

Hum Dungeon. If it ever comes up in conversation, which it probably won't. It sounds like a secret dark room where a humming society converges because of their embarrassment of humming in public. They have to do it. We can't sing.

We've just got to hum. It's an underground humming club. Yes, you stay safe in your bubble, all right? Yeah, no worries, guys. Thank you. Thanks for listening. On to our next star pupil. Rebecca, welcome.

Great to have you on. What I like about Rebecca is she always comes with a lot of chit-chat. Oh, great chat. It's almost too much chat. I'm always like, Rebecca, you're contributing too much to the radio show. You've had your chat. Let us talk. But anyway.

Anyway, Rebecca, how are you? I thought so. Should we try another call-up? No, we should. I think we persist with Rebecca. Tessa, welcome. Hello. Good to have you on, Tessa.

You sound three-quarters asleep, but we love you anyway. That's all right, mate. Is that good enough? That's great. She's like, I'm woken up. I'm ready to go. Producer Juliet's going to read a word and give you meanings, and you've just got to guess what the correct meaning is, all right?

Okay, cool. Cool. So your word is pooter. Is this the name of a person that sells horse poo by the sack on the side of the road? I can never read these without a laugh. That's definitely a Jono description. Does it mean, is it a suction bottle for collecting insects and other small invertebrates? Or is it a laptop designed for toddlers?

So what is the word for it? Pooter. Pooter, P-O-O-T-E-R. So is it a person who sells horse poo, a suction bottle for collecting insects, or a laptop designed by toddlers? I'd say the first one. You would say someone who has decided to go into business

of selling horse feces on the side of the road. People do do that. Very entrepreneurial, but no, it was actually B, a suction bottle for collecting insects. I'm sorry, Rebecca. Oh, really? Sorry about that. It was a short time, but it was a great time.

Thank you so much. Catch you later, matey. Okay, 0800, about that. It was a short time, but it was a great time. Thank you so much. Catch you later, matey. Okay, 0800, the hits is the phone number. We need a new star pupil for the next round. We're mowing through them. This is a shocking day of school. Expelled two students already. The groundsman's out the back doing whatever he does

in the shed. There's smoke bellowing out of the windows. We've got our music round next. You've got to complete the lyrics because we've got a big celebrity. We're trying to work out who it is joining us before 10 o'clock. So far we've learned he was born in Scotland. He talks about his bowel movements a lot and here's your next clue. My favourite food

is fish and chips. Not really helping us anymore, is it? No. Are you describing like everyone in Scotland? Maybe it is. We'll find out who that is before 10 o'clock. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. If you want to watch us on the live stream,

you can do so at the Hits Breakfast on Facebook. Yeah, welcome. Welcome to our homeschooling program. We were just talking about sleep, you know, and apparently napping no good for you, Ben was saying. I was watching a sleep expert on Breakfast the other day, and his theory was that... A sleep expert watching a sleep expert on Breakfast the other day, and his theory was that- A sleep expert.

Sleep expert. Saying it trains your body to get sleep when it can then. You know, like, oh, I'm going to get a bit here. And this is how it kind of breaks the cycle. Whereas he was saying you should wait and then let your body sleep for longer. Write it out. Train your body. Dig it in.

Yeah. Fight through the pain. Yeah. Otherwise your body will go, oh, I'll get it, and crave those little bits of sleep. And who said that this educational facility didn't teach you anything. Yeah. Otherwise your body will go, oh, I'll get it and crave those little bits of sleep. And who said that this educational facility didn't teach you anything?

Yeah. I just recycled something I heard on another show, a far better show. So there you go. All right, class, time to shove a slobbery, unhygienic recorder

in your mouth. It's music. It is Jono and Ben's homeschooling, as we said before, between nine and ten. We're trying to, you know, play a little game with your bubble

from our bubble. And if you win it, if you're a star pupil, you'll take home a year's supply of Disney+. And we're mowing through the students. High student turnover today at the school. We're meant to keep the bubble small at schools at the moment, right? But we're going to go to Evan, student number 56 so far. Welcome.

Kia ora, guys. Kia ora to you, my friend. Welcome to music class. I always like music. The music teacher always looked like they enjoyed puffing on some Northland lawn clippings, eh? Kind of did, actually. Yep.

Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to play three songs for you and stop when it gets to the next lyric and you've just got to complete the lyric. Okay. I kissed her that day What a song. Oh, great song. Unofficial anthem of New Zealand. Yeah, you got that one right from the exponents.

Here's your next song. White line In the skies Of soldiers that We can fly Another great song. Two great Kiwi tunes. We were in the video for that song, weren't we?

That music video? I didn't realise what it was for. Ben was like, oh, my mate Chris Mack just wants us to film a little thing. You didn't tell me it was for... Did I not tell you? No, you didn't mention it was for a music video. And then I was like, I'm doing all sorts of nonsense. You were dancing on desks and all sorts.

No one told me this was going to live in music video form. I see it all the time pop up in the music channels. For the rest of life. It's quite a popular song. All right, third and final. You're getting one step closer to that Disney Plus subscription, Evan. I'll be riding shotgun underneath the hot sun. Feeling like a someone.

Well done, Evan. He's got three from three. You are one step away from being our star pupil. We'll be back with you in our next round. George Ezra, a wonderful man, but an unusually deep voice. Yes. It's like he went through puberty nine times over. And he was so nice.

We interviewed him once on the radio and we wrote a- He's like, hello, this is George Ezra speaking. And we wrote a little song and we were like, hey, these are all things about complaints, because he's a nice guy. We're like, complaints about us. We're like, can you sing him the song? He's like, oh, look, it's funny,

but no. Yeah, he's like, I can't do that to you. Yeah, I can't do that to you guys. He's like, nice guys.

I don't want to hurt your feelings. It wasn't quite that deep, was it? Oh, it's George Ezra, baby. I just run shotgun. Okay,

all right, moving on. Underneath the hot seat. Back with our next round and Jono and Ben's homeschooling. Don't forget, be quick on the phones. You could be our star pupil. Evan's only got one more class to pass, and he's got that Disney Plus subscription.

And, of course, we've got our big celebrity guest joining us before 10 o'clock. Here's your next clue. Hey, fellas. I've been playing music in pubs since I was 12 years old. I still haven't worked out. I don't know who this person is. Some Scottish person who raves on about their bowels. And played in pubs and likes fish and chips.

We'll find out. We'll all find out together who it is before 10 o'clock. I think I know. All right. Relatively new artist. I think sort of broke last year. I have a feeling, but I don't know. Yes, I think I could be right too.

We'll find out next. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Beryl the Hits. All right, everybody. Shut up and listen to today's School Ducks. Ben, in your blazer, you look like sort of like a Channing Tatum character

who's gone back to high school as an undercover police officer. I'll take the Channing as a compliment for me. Yeah, but you just look a little bit older than the other kids. They're like, what's the weird man doing here in his blazer? Yeah. Saying, hey, guys. Kept at Hogwarts for too many years. You're Harry Potter who never graduated.

Damn it. I thought he was going to be good, that guy. Couldn't quite master wizardry or anything in life. Anyway, we've got our star pupil, Evan from Christchurch. It's a pretty simple school. If you're the star pupil at the end of class, you win the 12-month subscription to Disney+.

Evan, last class, baby? Rad, man. Looking forward to it. Now, you've got to speak for 30 seconds on a random topic that we give to you just on the spot. Without pausing or saying um and ah, yesterday we had an eight-year-old girl from Ragland, and John, you gave her such a tough question

and have a listen to how well she went. Mike Hoskins is a famous New Zealander. He drives around in his new Ferrari and his Louis Vuitton. He spilled coffee on them while he was eating biscuits and he didn't care either because his Louis Vuitton chinos

looked the same colour as his coffee. I mean there was a lot of stuff there not really relatable to an 8 year old but. It's so good that was what was her topic was Mike Hosking spilling an Italian espresso on his Louis Vuitton chinos while eating biscotti and driving his Ferrari

and she nailed it. So pretty simple. You are the school ducks. You're the ducks nuts. And you've got 30 seconds to make a speech, an acceptance speech, a valedictorian speech on... A what? A valedictorian.

I was like, I think that's the word. But then I was like, no, no, it's not. Then I mumbled my way through it with confidence. I hope he wasn't going to pull me up on it. Your topic, without saying um or ah for 30 seconds, is why does Jono not wash his legs in the shower and just focuses on soaping from the waist out? Soaping it from the waist out. All right, this is a tough one.

Anyway, go. The reasoning for not washing legs in the shower. For Jono. Reason one. Washing the tummy first in a round circular motion. The soap then drips down the legs, reaching the knees further down to the toes. Don't mistake the speech for an intonation, everybody.

Now, moving up to the chest with both hands, same again in circular motion. Start, moving up to the chest with both hands, same again in circular motion, start reaching around to the armpits, then onto the shoulders. We're whilst doing this. Hey! Well done, Evan.

You did a great job. You got quite descriptive. I imagine Jono in the shower, which wasn't necessarily a good thing. Well done. You've got the Disney Plus subscription for 12 months, buddy. Oh, that's rad. Enjoy that, mate. It's a lot of fun.

Oh, cool. I was showering this morning at 4.30 and I was like, I've never washed, I've never soaked my legs. Not once in all my showering career have I ever gone below the waist. Never below the waist. Never below the waist. Oh, gee. I hope you haven't, man.

Yeah, the romance is dead in the pry, so that's for sure. Okay, well, thanks, Evan, for playing. Never below it. I'm going to stand by that comment. Stand by that. All right. Moving on from this.

I wish I could. Evan, congratulations on the loan, buddy. We'll get that years plus subscription. Looks like a nuclear power plant waste bin down there. Disney Plus coming your way. We're going to, if you're a kid listening,

actually, 0800 the hits is the phone number. We've got one more game to play before 10 o'clock. Beat the parents. We want to play that with you on the radio.

Can you beat Jono? You'll get the board game. Thanks for playing it fun. As well as that, our celebrity guest is joining us before 10 o'clock. Here's your next clue. I recorded my demo

in my bedroom and uploaded it to SoundCloud, and that's where my manager discovered me. All right, who is that? They're joining us before 10. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Okay, students, time for the Beat the Parents class. No, you're right.

This is not part of the traditional curriculum, but at this school, we throw that out for shameless product placement. This is a fun board game that you can play. It's called Beat the Parents. It's the kids they take on the grown-ups and see who could win and it's thanks to Planet Fun and right now a kid is going to take on Jono. Eight year old from Bell Block where we discovered

the other day children have breakfast of power poles and floss their teeth with the power lines, don't they in Bell Block? A community of hardened New Zealanders. Ty, welcome. Hi. Good to have you on.

Ty's already working in the coal mines. Yeah. There's a lot of cool bears, you know, soft toy bears in Bell Block we discovered the other day around the neighbourhood doing some fun things. All right, Ty. Have you seen those, Ty, walking around? Yeah. Yeah, you like the bears? My dad likes them.

Oh, your dad likes the beers? Yeah, a lot of kids' dads like beers. Okay, let's not out your father as our raving alcoholic on the radio, Ty. All right, Ty. Your first question is, this is from the kids' card. Johnna gets annoyed that I ask the kids the kids' questions. Oh, you know what? I've left it behind now because he's always like, every day he's like,

oh, you could win. You could win the game today. No. It's never going to happen. I'm never going to let you. Ty, here's your question. What is the water surrounding a castle called? Moat.

Oh, well done. Well done. Do you give these kids the answers? I don't. Honestly, I don't. I know you don't. I don't do the producers. Producer Humphrey, do you give the kids the answers?

No. No, he's saying no. Of course, everyone's saying no. No one's going to. I don't do the producers. Producer Humphrey, do you give the kids the answers? No. No, he's saying no. Of course everyone's saying no. No one's going to say yes. Okay, Jono. What chocolate treat? Oh, we asked you this the other day, actually. So how good is your memory?

What chocolate treat celebrated its 75th anniversary in 2012? You did ask me this the other day. And I've got amnesia. What was it? It was... Yeah, yeah. It's all right. It was... Yeah, yeah, Ty. Ty's like, oh, you sad old man. Was it...

Oh, what was it? We did it on the Facebook Live. It was only 24 hours ago. We asked you this. Come on, mate. I've given you the answers to this previously. Whittakers? Maltesers.

Malta. All right. Well, yeah, so far you're in the lead, Ty. Well done, Ty. What is a ladybird, Ty? A beetle, bird or spider? A beetle. Oh, jeez.

He's confident. All right, Jono. Too confident. Almost like he's been given the answers off here to shame me. In the movie G-Force, what are the animals that make up the G? The G-Force in the team. Gorillas. Oh, no.

Get him, Perks, mate. Oh, jeez. Have you not G, the G-Force in the team? Grillers. Oh, no, guinea pigs, mate. Oh, jeez. Have you not seen the movie G-Force? I haven't witnessed the cinematic masterpiece of G-Force. And, Ty, just to complete. What are the guinea pigs doing in G-Force? I think they're like spy guinea pigs, mate. It's based on a true story.

And lastly, Ty, finish the old saying, let sleeping dogs lie. There's a voice in the background. There was a voice. I heard a mumbling of a voice giving him the answer. It's 3 from 3 and just because we were playing Jono, Disney's High School Musical was based on what famous play? I did not know this.

Grease. No. One of my favourite plays, Grease. Romeo and Juliet. Didase. No. One of my favourite plays, Grease. Romeo and Juliet. Did not know that, so there you go. Well, now we do. Producer Juliet didn't need that obnoxious buzzer. I just thought I'd add that for an effect, you know. Ty, well done, buddy.

You've got to beat the parents board game. It's a lot of fun to play with your family, a lot of fun to play with Jono on the radio as well. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono in bed on the hits. Wrapping up the your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the Hats. Wrapping up the 10 o'clock hour and apologies to Lewis Capaldi, our guest. We didn't have time

to catch up with you today. Maybe tomorrow, Lewis, we'll Zoom you again. Stay safe, stay sanitised. Good day. Aotearoa. See you then. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can wake up with the boys weekdays from 6 on the Hats and via the iHeartRadio app.