Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 24 - Kerre McIvor, Win An Ad, Ben's TikTok Journey

Episode Date: April 24, 2020

The Rude Awakening GameJono has challenged Ben to get 100,000 followers on TikTokWin An AdWe want to hear about your unconventional lockdowns... NewstalkZB's Kerre McIvor called inSpyWe reminisce on takeawaysRhys Darby called inAnzac Day during Alert Level 4We reward another Iso-LegendJono & Ben's Home School Day #5See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. It is Friday. We got to the end of our first week as the Hits Breakfast Show. I was listening to the podcast on the way into work this morning and I was just like, what is this thing we're throwing to every day? Because I know we do this every day. We introduce it. Yeah. But it's like, how does it all come together? So how did it come together?

Who puts it together? Al. Social Al. Social Al puts it together? Al, Social Al. Social Al puts it together. Oh, thanks, Al. Yeah. Really appreciate that. But anyway, at the beginning of it, there's like an ad, and it says, you know, can't get enough of Jono and Ben?

Hear them on iHeartRadio. Well, we are number one on the iHeart charts. Are we? And yeah, you know, I checked. And I asked myself, has anyone ever said I can't get enough of Jono and Ben? No. No. No. Like, give get enough of Jono and Ben? No. No. No.

Like, give me less of Jono and Ben. I hear that a bit. There's definitely a time there where people said, give me less of Jono and Ben. We have got a big show today. We've got Rhys Darby, New Zealand comedic genius, joining us on the show. And as well as that, amazing thing a Kiwi dad did for his daughter on her birthday. Oh, it's adorable. Yeah.

It'll melt your cold, cold heart. Check it out. Enjoy the podcast. The Songhi Corn Flakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on her birthday. Oh, it's adorable. It'll melt your cold, cold heart. Check it out. Enjoy the podcast. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. What's that? Oh, no. Shut up.

Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. Now, we're awake, and we want other people to wake up as well, and if you wake up your partner or someone in your household, they could win. They could win some Hell Pizza vouchers

just by answering a quiz first thing in the morning. Yeah, now we need to clarify the rude awakening, even though it's called the rude awakening, it's not like we phone someone up and don't use our manners. No, it's true. And don't say please or thank you. It's the opposite to that. We just give them the chance to win a $40 Hell Pizza voucher.

And we're going to head to Taranaki. Richard, welcome. Morning. How are you going, guys? Taranaki. Richard, welcome. Morning. How are you going, guys? We're doing well. What's the morning like in New Plymouth there, Richard? It's a bit overcast, but it's all right. Oh, can you just say it?

Yeah, okay. Good, good. Positive outlook on life there. What are you doing in your bubble, Rich? I'm milking. Oh, right. I thought the girls were dry. No, not yet. Not yet. I thought the girls were dry. No, not yet.

Not yet. You said the girls were dry, Ben. We talked to someone the other day that said they were dried up. Oh, lucky them. Oh, really? Okay. Is there a certain time of the year that you can stop that, or is it, you know? In a couple of weeks.

Right. I thought that would sync up, you know, if you get a whole group of them in a flatting situation or something. They're all good in their big bubble. That's awesome, mate. Well, good on you, because we all drink milk. Got to do it. Got to do it. And if you're not getting your hands around their mudders, we're not drinking it.

Okay, Richard, who are we going to wake up? My wife. Her name's Gemma. Would she be sound asleep? Uh-oh. Would she be sound asleep there Uh-oh. Would she be sound asleep there? Yeah. Producer Juliet

sweating right now going, have I got the right number? Hey now, it'll be fine. She's very relaxed under pressure, Producer Juliet. She is actually. We try and give her little digs and stuff to put her off her game, but we never have. She's very calm.

We're ringing Richard's wife, Gemma. We're going to ask her four questions. If she gets all four right, a Hell's Pizza voucher. $40 is all hers. Will she answer? What time do you get up in the morning, Rich? Half past four.

Half past four. Do you... Does she wake up while you're... You have reached the voicemail box. Oh, this is the first time we haven't woken... Go again. Go again, Juliet. We will not stop until we wake this woman up.

Yeah, we'll stop. No, we won't. We're not playing any music until Gemma answers the phone. I vouch on it. I really wish you would because of that cow chat. I had enough of your cow chat before, Jono.

Come on. Come on. Come on, Gemma. If she doesn't answer, unfortunately, you go pizza-less, Richard. Hello? Oh, we got it. I told you I wouldn't stop. It's Jono and Ben calling from the hits. Richard, your husband has put

you on the spot here for a wee quiz game live on the radio. Oh, my goodness. No time to think. First question. Okay, here's your first question. The leader of the National Party who copped a bit of flack on social media this week is 1.

Simon Overpass, 2. Simon Motorways, or 3. Simon Bridges? Simon Bridges. Yeah, one from one. Okay, who celebrated their 94th birthday this week? Jono from Jono and Ben, the Queen, or both Jono and the Queen? The Queen.

Would have taken the last answer as well. Okay, Raylene Castles is no longer head of which Australian organisation? The Diner in Summer Bay, the Australian Rugby Union, or the Israel Folau Fan Club? Sorry,

what was the question? Raylene Castles is no longer head of which Australian organisation? The Diner in Summer Bay, the Australian Rugby Union, or the Israel Folau Fan Club? Oh, the rugby. Yeah, the rugby. Yeah, the rugby, you're right. She's got $30.

$30, your last question to get $40 from Hell Pizza. The American politician who pulled out of the presidential race recently was Bernie Sanders, Colonel Sanders or Adam Sandler's? Listen, I'll give you a clue. It's not Colonel Sanders or Adam Sandler's. The other one then? B? $40, hell pizzas or yours? Oh, fantastic. Hang up the phone, go back to sleep and pretend this didn't happen.

Gemma, have a great day. Alright, cheers. Remember to the phone, go back to sleep and pretend this didn't happen, Gemma. Have a great day. All right, cheers. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Ben, I'm trying to come at you like a friend. Like a friend. I'm a friend. I'm a friend.

I'm trying to do this for you. Well, you are a friend. You are, but you like mocking me. Do this for the good of your credibility. Our friendship's based on mocking each other, you know, and not getting upset about it. It's a rich history of mock. Yeah.

And yesterday, just a reenactment to bring you up to speed, Ben is on TikTok. Yes, that's right, a fully grown man on TikTok. Look, my daughters are into it, and, you know, it's their thing. You know, they love it. And so I thought, well, it's a fun thing I could do with the family, you know? Well, if you missed it yesterday. Hey, Ben.

It's Jono here, mate. This is you talking right now. Do you think, have you thought about stopping TikTok? No! I will not stop TikTok. That was you putting on a voice right now. So that was a reenactment from yesterday.

He is a monster. He refuses to step down from TikTok, even though his kids are demanding it. Please make Dad stop drawing TikTok videos. His terrible dancing makes me wish TikTok was never invented. Now you got my orders to say that. Yeah. It's clearly scripted.

It sounds red. It does sound red. It sounds red, but it's not. It's straight off her dome. The Prime Minister's office actually just reached out to me. She said you're a national embarrassment. She wants to keep you in lockdown. Even when everything's sorted.

Just keep me in lockdown. Just keep Ben Boyce in lockdown. Take my phone off me. It's fun. Look, it's fun. I don't profess to be any good on TikTok or anything. I don't really know the point. You handed me your phone now. I'm scrolling through your account. There is a video here. I don't know if I'll play this through the mic. There's a video here.

He's dressed up like a horse. And you've dragged your poor wife into this misery pit hole that is your TikTok account. Lots of people do that. They pretend to be, with long hair, they pretend to be the horse's backside with the tail. Your wife's bent forward with her hair hanging down, so she's the tail

and you're the horse at the front riding. It's a great follow. Why do you have two horse costumes? Well, because we have a lot of costumes at home. So I ended up like in the breakup from Jono and Ben, the TV show, I ended up with all the costumes. There's a lot of steps you had to go through before you ended up dressed up in horse costumes. And at any one of those steps, you could have pulled out of that.

So what are you trying to do? You want me off TikTok? I do. It's an intervention. And I'm giving you a D-Day. May 11, that's when the government decides what they're going to do with Level 3. Yeah. And it's also the day I decide what I'm going to do with your TikTok account.

Okay, whether I delete it or you get to keep it. The catch is you have to get 100,000 followers before then. I'm not going to get 100,000 followers. I've only got like 15,000. Well, you can dance your little heart out. You can dance away to your heart's content as long as those dances last 15 seconds or less and try and get 100,000 followers.

You can promote it. Oh, thank you. I'll let you do it. Thank you. Why am I agreeing to this? There's no benefit for me in this. It's radio. You know how a story arc works, Ben.

All right, okay. You have to commit to it. In fact, okay, if you don't want to commit to it, we'll see what the audience says. 0800 the hits. Bill has just joined us on the phone. Who's Bill? Bill, do you think Ben should get off TikTok and take part in this

100,000 follower challenge? Yes, I totally agree. It's bloody embarrassing. There's producer Ben. I can see him talking through the phone line in the other room. Ben's talking to a stockbroker. This is Bill from Stewart Island. From Stewart Island. Look, you've got everyone involved in this.

All right, so what do I get? 100,000. I'll play your game. 100,000 views by May 11. That's when we decide if we go down to level two. And that's when we decide if Ben's TikTok count is deleted forever. For the good of humanity. Oh, jeez.

All right. Serving bowls of lols for breakfast. Actual lols may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Don't tell the sales department because it's Jono and Ben's winning ad. We like to give away advertising for free. We like to.

The sales department, they don't like this. No one else likes this apart from us, Ben, and the people who win the ads. We actually were, before this whole COVID thing, going to do win a billion bucks, but then we had to scale it back to just handing out a free 30 second commercial. Hopefully win a billion bucks and we'll come back

one day. No, what we do is we just call a business at random and we say congratulations, you've won an ad and we've written half the ad. They've just got to fill in the blanks but they don't know we're calling, right? Yeah, basically it's just us harassing poor innocent workers, essential workers as they go about their day. Oh no, it's a great thing.

They get a free ad, mate. Put them on the spot and they flounder around trying to promote their business. Debbie, John O, Ben O, from the Hits, how are you? From the... The Hits, clearly your favourite radio station. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Yeah, from the Hits. Congratulations, you've won a free ad on the radio. Perfect. We've just got to fill in the blanks. Okay. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... You sounded really casual and on board with it.

And now you're like, what have I got myself in for? I'm like, what? You've just got to say the name of your business. We'll do it again. Have you heard about one of the Kiwi businesses? It's the... Zed Ferguson. There we go.

Famous for its popular... Petrol. Yay! And don't forget the crowd favourite... Pies. But wait, there's more. Because that's not even the best thing about them. Let me tell you about it right now.

The people that you get served by. Oh, that's good. And their wonderful staff, who sometimes like to reveal a secret about themselves live on the radio. Yeah, what about this one, Debbie? How hot we are. Oh, right. The happy customers are always saying... Wow, you look good.

Wow, you look hot. That was a secret. So make sure you check out... Dead Ferguson. Oh, wonderful. You did so well there, Debbie. Perfect. What I noticed, you were inside the shop.

Are you serving through the night window? Yes. A lot of running round for the person behind the counter because you're like, I want green top milk and then they run over and then you're like yelling through the window also give me a Memphis Meltdown and you're running all over the shop. That's it. Well, thank you for all the work you're doing in the community. You're welcome. Okay,

cool. Thank you. Thank you for being hot too. Okay. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Ben, can I just point out your shirt today? There's a lot going on on it. He's got a Space Jam shirt. Remember the movie Space Jam with Michael Jordan? Yeah.

Every colour ever invented is on that shirt. I think they've even invented a new colour and put it on that shirt. Yeah, it's kind of like a tie-dye thing with cartoon characters on top. As if you didn't need tie-dye behind cartoon characters. But yeah, there's a lot going on. There's 349 colours on that shirt and I love every single one of them. Let's put that online.

We're going to photo online and see if anyone's got a more colourful shirt than Ben. It's the Hits Breakfast. All right, we'll check that on. We're on Instagram and Facebook. Now, we want to know today, what's your unusual bubble situation? Like, did you get caught in lockdown in a house

that you're like, well, this is unusual, but I'm here now and I can't leave? Yeah, did you get caught in lockdown in a house that you're like, well, this is unusual, but I'm here now and I can't leave? Yeah, maybe you're with your mistress and you're like, oh, well, can't get out of this now. Sorry, wife. Where are you?

Let's talk about this in four weeks. Denise from work. I somehow ended up at her house and now we're stuck here. I couldn't get out. Oh, did you spill water over your computer? A little bit, yeah. Let's not talk about that.

Let's talk about your unusual bubble situation. Oh, 800, that's the telephone number. Felicity, welcome. How's Christchurch this morning? It's good. It's looking like it might be a nice day today, which is nice. Hey, good on you, Felicity. You sound very vibrant, if you don't mind me saying.

I have been up for quite a wee while now because I've got the kids at home with me. Yeah. So, yeah, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep. What's your unusual lockdown situation? Well, over the last wee while, you know, we want to keep things fresh and spice them up a little bit. We've managed to sleep in every room of the house so far.

Oh, see, as a parent, I'm like, I appreciate that you've gone to that effort. I wish I did cool things like that, but I'm like, get to bed! Go to bed! No, we're not doing anything fun. Oh, we want to sleep on the couch. No!

You know, have you slept in a tree house or out of the garage, the car or anything? Yeah, well, actually, it's funny you say that. We've done every single room. We did the bathroom last night, which I'm not going to lie, I did sneak out of that one. Where were you sleeping?

The bathroom? Like in the bath or something? Well, we had a wee mattress. The kids were on the bath and they were hunky-dory. They were ready to go. They were great, but I was on a mattress

on the ground and there was no way that was going to happen. I thought you were going to say you were just lying on cold tiles. No, not quite, but we couldn't deal with that one. But yes, tonight we are going to give the sleep out a go. So it will be interesting, I think.

Hey, Kia kaha to you. Godspeed. Thank you for your call, Felicity and Whangaparao Fleur. Welcome. You're on the air. Unusual lockdown situations? Yeah, I'm kind of in a caravan at the moment. Like Ben's dad.

Ben's dad lives in a caravan, doesn't he? He gets banished to the caravan to play his guitar. It's his guitar caravan. No one wants to play it in the house. Why are you in a caravan? Well, I just sort of ended up coming back from travelling and breaking up with my boyfriend. So now I live on my brother's backyard in his 50s caravan that they use for travelling around. Oh, I always love a caravan on a front yard.

You're like, those people have checked out of life. My grandparents, they had a lovely house. They lived in North Canterbury, but they slept in a caravan each night 15 metres away from the house. So they wouldn't even sleep in their own bedroom. No, not in the house. The house was empty like 90% of the year

and then they'd go outside and just sleep in a caravan. Well, it's like you're on holiday all the time isn't it? But in the cold, you know, North Canterbury nights, they'd walk out there and I was like oh well. Fleur, best and worst thing about being in a caravan? Oh, what's the best? I'll come back to that one.

You've summed it up. You don't need to say any more. Thank you for your call, Fleur. You're welcome. Have a great day. You too. Bye. Next on the show, I've got a wee surprise for you actually, Jono. A wee surprise for you right now.

More surprising than that shirt. Maybe not quite as surprising as that. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, Jono, last week on our radio show, you talked about Kerry McIver, who's the day host on Newstalk ZB.

He does a great job, and you had this to say. Everyone always goes on about the mother of the nation. I would liken Kerry to the naughty auntie. Oh, yeah. The one who lets you suck on her vape pen. You besmirched the good name of Kerry McIver. Well, I don't know if she's a vapist. No.

You called her a naughty auntie. And then you made another observation about Kerry's radio show. How polite she is. Yes, how polite she is. She's got more manners than Manners Mall in Wellington. Good morning, Kerry. How are you? Good, thank you.

Good, thank you. Good, thank you. Yeah, good, thank you. Good, thank you. Great, thank you. Good, thank you. Good, thanks. Very well, thank you. Good, thank you. Good. Great, thank you. Good, thank you Good thank you Yeah, good thank you Good thank you Great thank you Good thank you Good thanks Very well thank you

Good thank you Good Great thank you Good thank you Great thank you Yeah, good thank you Good thank you Good thanks

I'm very well thank you Good thank you Good thank you Great thanks Good thank you Hi, I'm well thank you Good thank you Lovely manners.

Yeah. This feels like one of those moments where you're now going to tell me Kerry McIver's on the phone or going to walk into the room. Oh, yeah, she is on the phone. I knew you were going to do this. Kerry, how's it going? Why would you care?

A thousand times. I was kind of hoping when I heard you guys were joining the team, and welcome, by the way, that there'd be something new and exciting and fresh, but Kevin Black and I did this, taking bits out of people's conversations in about 1992. Oh, wow.

Now we're getting a roasting from Kerry MacGyver. She's no longer good, thank you. I'm just saying that I was, you know, looking for fresh new innovation and I'm sure it will arrive. Oh, now I regret bringing you on the radio. This was meant to be like a bird on Jono and now it's on both of us.

I'm seriously welcome, and I'm going to have to work on that upward inflection, dear. No, listen, I always listen to your show, and you're doing a magnificent job at the moment. Obviously, you must be sick to death of talking about COVID, but all of your hosts are doing a wonderful job. Does it take its toll? Oh, for heaven's sake, no.

I mean, look at what we do. We sit on our bums and talk to people who are, for the most part, interesting. It's hardly a difficult job. We're not working through the night and we're not putting ourselves at risk and we're not, you know, having to cleanse down every single surface

and put on uncomfortable protective gear. No, it's not a difficult job at all, which is why I've done it for so long. I love it. You put that in perspective quite well there. Yeah, you did. I thought you were going to be a self-indulgent media personality

to say we're all healing the world because that's what Ben and me have been doing. I can be and probably will be when the restaurants open, but until then, no. Are we on top of this, Kerry? I mean, it seems like we are and you guys at Newstalks

have been way more about it than us. Do you think we've done the right thing as a country? Yeah, I'd have probably gone the Sweden approach, but maybe I wouldn't have because I don't have access to all the information that the Prime Minister does. I think she's done an amazing job. Of course, because it's been such a good job,

now all the reckons come out. Oh, I reckon it went too hard. Oh, I reckon we could have come out earlier. So everybody's an expert. And you learn that on Talkback. We had people who were experts at Pike River. We had experts on refloating the Rena. We've now had experts on COVID.

So, you know, you just give people a little forum and then you say, thank you. Good, thank you. And then you get on with your day. I mean, we've created, this COVID thing has really created so many semi-professional chefs, beauticians,

hairdressers, alcoholics. I mean, we've got it all covered. When are we graduating, Kerry? I think we've done a really, really good job. I just hope we remember the good things that come out of it. I know there are so many small and medium business owners who are just crawling and clawing their way to the end

in the hope that there's a future for them. But there's a lot of good that's come out of it. Honestly, when I was sitting on the stoop watching the neighbourhood last night, it's like Waihi in 1972 because you've got all the kids out with their dads and skateboarding in the middle of the road and kids learning to ride bikes in the empty Raza car park,

which has never been empty in the 22 years I've been here. So there are some really good things that have come out of this. I just hope we remember those. Yeah, well, we'll get back to moaning about how long Elton John played for before you know it. Yeah, all the big problems that we were talking about before this, right? Kiri McIver, thank you for joining us and surprising Jono. And keep up the great work on Newstalk ZB.

We really do appreciate what you do. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, know what's up. Spy.co.nz So, it has become apparent I need to educate you guys on the royals You're like our latest update on Prince Louis Prince who-ey?

Prince Louis I have heard of Prince Louis but I couldn't have told you where he placed him What royal family is he in? So Prince William and Duchess Catherine Their youngest child So William and Kate have Catherine, their youngest child. So William and Kate have... How many kids have they got? Three, right?

When did they have him? When did this happen? So they've got George, who's five years old. Who will be king one day. Yeah, he'll be king. And then they've got Charlotte, who's four. And then they've got Louis, who's just turned two. Yeah, Louis.

Louis. Louis Brown. Louis is going to have no responsibility whatsoever. He'll be like the Harry of the next generation. Yeah, I mean, he's got a life ahead of him of partying Vegas, dressing up like a Nazi, marrying a Hollywood actor who will eventually tear him away from his family and voice over a Disney elephant docker.

Yeah, that's all ahead of him. Exactly. And every time their child reaches a birthday, they release some photos, and I have to show you them because he's so cute. Look at him. He's no George, though, is he? No, he's cute.

He looks a bit like George. I thought they dressed George like a 1920s Swedish mountain climber. They're the royals though. Yeah, you know. I'm not going to put them in a Space Jam t-shirt like I'm wearing right now. No way. And if you want to see those photos, you can go to the hits.co.nz. And Chris Hemsworth, he joined Alan DeGeneres on their little virtual live stream. No way. And if you want to see those photos, you can go to the hits.co.nz.

And Chris Hemsworth, he joined Alan DeGeneres on their little virtual live stream. He's been working out, and we discussed this on the show, I think, yesterday or the day before. He's been working out with some unique equipment. Have a listen. Well, you've got to get creative. There's a few options. The laundry basket is an essential. You're going to do a squat. Okay, what's the next thing?

It would look better without a shirt on. Now what do you have in your hand? Kansas soup. All right. So he basically just did a workout to Ellen DeGeneres and the world. Did she work out with him? No, she's just sitting on the couch watching. Why does she sound like she's dying inside?

Was she made to do that or something? I don't know. She did have her producer in the background trying to do the same workout as Chris in the background, so she was kind of taking the piss out of him as well. So Ellen's sitting on a couch, she's making other people work out while she runs the world from the comfort of her lounge.

Pretty much, pretty much. For more spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Now, after 8 o'clock on the show, yesterday morning we gave away a TV. Actually, can we play that? We've got that audio around. Yes, we do. This is pretty exciting.

A TV we found, a 50-inch TV. It was won yesterday. Who are the current hosts of the kids' television show, What Now? Chris Kirk and Ian Wells. Yes. Stella Maris. Yes. She's won a 50-inch stolen television.

And it's Jono and Ben's Lost and Found, and we've found something else here in the building. Stella Maris. Yes! She's won a 50 and stolen television! We're going away! And it's Jono and Ben's Lost and Found, and we've found something else here in the building we want to give away. Yeah, this is the biggest prize we've ever given away. Literally, it's enormous. I don't know how we're going to send it out to anyone. I don't know either. We're going to give that away very shortly, maybe.

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Now, we usually do, well, they used to do the quiz here at 8 o'clock, didn't they? The Alpha Quiz. Yeah, but they decided, they called us.

I think it was about 4 o'clock in the morning they called us. We're just about to wake up and start the show. They're like, management here, we've pulled the Alpha Quiz. So we're like,

well, we're going to pull some stuff from the office because no one is here. Can I just say the Alpha Quiz is on with Stace, Mike, and Anika in the afternoons. They're still doing it at 5 o'clock. Yeah, they also said, by the way, Stace, well, we're going to pull some stuff from the office because no one is here. Can I just say the Alpha Quiz is on with Stace, Mike and Anika in the afternoons. They're still doing it at five o'clock. Yeah, they also said, by the way, Stace, Mike and Anika get to do it. Just not you.

And we stole a TV, gave that away yesterday. And a wonderful moment in New Zealand radio history there. I think we'll put that into an exhibition at Te Papa or something at some point. But now we're in the same building as ZM. And what do they love doing at ZM? Paddleboarding. And Fletch and Vaughan. Fletch and Vaughan meant to give away a paddleboard,

but we've taken it. Oh, were they? Fletch, Vaughan and Megan, right. We're going to give away a paddleboard, a stand-up paddleboard. When you leave two radio broadcasters in a mostly empty building, they find stuff to give away

that they probably shouldn't. It's Jono and Ben's Lost and Found. Who wants to win a giant, inconvenient-sized piece of fiberglass? Well, it could be you. Stand up paddleboard. 0800 the hits is the phone number. If you want to win, you've got to answer all five questions

correct, and because it's a paddleboard, we've got them water-based. Water-themed questions. Aquatic questions, Leah. Aquatic. Mark, welcome. How's Te Ao Mutu, buddy? Good, mate. Yeah, not too bad.

Oh, fantastic. All right. You've got to get all five correct, and you could be standing up and or paddleboarding to your heart's content. First question. Where does SpongeBob SquarePants live? Under the sea. I'll take that.

Yeah. Pineapple under the sea, but it's under the sea all the same, so he's got one from one. What is the boiling point of water? 100 C. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Who have we got?

A scientist on the phone? A man. A scientist? He knows where SpongeBob lives. He must be a scientist. The smartest people in the world. They know where SpongeBob lives. Name the body a scientist. The smartest people in the world. They know where SpongeBob lives. Name the body of water between New Zealand and Australia.

The Kansan Sea. Oh, jeez. He is a scientist. I knew it. The questions get harder, too. Yeah, they do get harder. Where in New Zealand was the Hamilton jet boat invented? Canterbury.

Oh, my. Higher, yeah. Canterbury? Yep, we'll take Canterbury. South Canterbury. Oh, my. Tire, yeah. Canterbury? Yep, we'll take Canterbury. South Canterbury, he's right. By Bill Hamilton. In particular, Irishman's Creek. Yeah, I'll give him that.

Yeah, right, it's Canterbury. It's pretty, yeah. Fifth and final question. God, Ben, we're going to have to steal something else. Oh, please. Might have to give away that toaster I'm looking at through the window. Name the manoeuvre used in water polo

to stabilise yourself out of the water. Thrusting, flipping, jumping. No. So close. Egg beater kick was the answer. We're going to give you a double pass to the cinemas, Reading Cinemas. You can go to the cinemas when you're out of lockdown.

You were so good today. Thanks, guys. Well done, Mark. What a scientist. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

We are looking at some big news from a small town. And today in Tauranga, a beautiful story. A dad in lockdown whose little daughter, four-year-old daughter, was having a birthday yesterday. And all she wanted was McDonald's for her birthday. Now, obviously, McDonald's is not open yet. So what was the alternative? Well, he has created basically his own drive-thru, his own McDonald's. Oh, really?

So they went for a drive down the driveway. They drove back up with the little girl with her mum. And he had screens where he was on a drive-through. I don't know how he did it. Threw some witchcraft. And then he came out with his own makeshift McDonald's packaging and a McDonald's uniform and delivered the food that he'd made for his daughter. Have a listen to this.

McDonald's. I'm hungry. Welcome to McDonald's. Please place your order. Six-piece chicken nugget happy meal, please. Okay, please drive through the next window. Here's your happy meal. Look, here's your order. Six-piece chicken nugget happy meal, please. Okay, please drive through the next window. Here's your happy meal. Look, here's your drink.

Thank you, Daddy. Put that in the cup holder. Thank you, Daddy. Oh, it's so adorable. Sorry, I just had a call from McDonald's lawyers. Oh, don't. And they have got a serious case for copyright infringement. Oh, don't.

Well, let's call them now. I think I need to tackle it. Let's call Nathan. Nathan, what a wonderful thing he's done for his daughter. Oh, yeah, that's adorable. But I'll tell you what's not adorable is ripping off a multinational. Hello? Nathan speaking.

Oh, hey, Nathan. It's Ronald McDonald here. Listen, I'm lawyered up to the eyeballs. No, stop. Copyright infringement. You've ripped off the McDonald's trademark. Stop, stop. Ignore him, Nathan.

It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. How's it going, buddy? Mate, I'm about to do The Runner. But it's all good, stop. Copyright infringement. You've ripped off the McDonald's trademark. Ignore him, Nathan. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. How's it going, buddy? Mate, I'm about to do The Runner, but it's all good. How are you guys? Yeah, good, good, good. Yeah, listen, we've just got some copyright issues. No, we just want to say what a wonderful thing you did for your daughter and your family. That's so incredible.

Yeah. No, I mean, it keeps us sane, mate. Keep the daughter happy. keep the wife happy, the whole family's happy. Happy wife, happy life. Job done. I had a hell of a treat that night from the wife, mate. He got his own happy meal.

So how long did it take you to put this together? Because as we were saying before, you've set up like a drive-through system with electronics and screens and then you made packaging and all sorts. Yeah, it was quite intense, mate. The night before, me and the wife were up until sort of 1.30 in the morning and obviously we used quite a lot of printer ink. And then it was a couple of hours out in the garden setting up power cords.

Definitely not OSHA-approved at all, but we set up two TVs and a computer screen, and then obviously the big teddy bear with Ronald McDonald's face on it. That took a couple of hours. All in all, I reckon it was about six, seven hours of sort of love and theatre, you know? Oh my gosh, six or seven hours? Yeah. Even the food

looks like the McDonald's french fries and the packaging of the Happy Meal. Yeah, I was, uh, I got really excited doing that, mate. So I really, yeah, the wife sort of deep fried the food and it was all sort of well planned, you see. Oh, well, I tell you what, you've melted the heart. You've deep fried the hearts of New Zealand. It's an adorable video.

Yeah, thanks, guys. Oh, that's very cool. And the kids are obviously stoked with your McDonald's compared to the real thing? Yeah, no, thanks, guys. Oh, that's very cool. And the kids are obviously stoked with your McDonald's compared to the real thing? Yeah, yeah. The problem is they're going to have to sort of try and keep up with it. I mean, the next birthday, I've got four kids, mate. So we've got the next birthday coming in a couple of weeks. And they've got, obviously, expectations are quite high.

Yeah, he's in the middle of building Rainbow's End in his backyard now. Yeah, we might be taking the younger one to the zoo. So that should be quite interesting. I mean, the neighbours are probably looking at us like, what are these guys on younger one to the zoo, so that should be quite interesting. I mean, the neighbours are probably looking at us like, what are these guys on? But, I mean, Heineken comes in handy, so that's all right. Yeah, he's going to turn into Joe Exotic

and have some cats in the background. Oh, what a wonderful thing you've done for your family. You are Father of the Year. You keep safe in the rest of your lockdown and good luck building that backyard zoo. Yeah, cheers, boys. See ya. How cool was that? If you want to check out the video,

such a cute video, as I said before, the Hits Breakfast on our Facebook cool was that? If you want to check out the video, such a cute video as I said before, the Hits Breakfast on our Facebook page, the Hits Breakfast, check it out. Morning, it's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Of course, we're all counting down to next Tuesday where we go from level four to level three and it means not too much

different in our lives except for the fact that we can go through the drive-thru, we can get deliveries for takeaways. Yeah, I mean, it's been like a forced intervention for my health, isn't it, that I've been trying to combat with Heineken and onion dip. If you did an autopsy on my body now, you'd just find a whole bunch of onion dip and beer sloshing around in there. I said yesterday you could put a chip down my throat.

And get some onion dip out. If you tip me upside down, you could drink me. Now, we wanted to, you know, reminisce about our last takeaways that we had. And we want you guys to get involved, you know, because we are looking forward to some takeaways next Tuesday. So, I would hundred of the hits

if you'd like to reminisce about the takeaways you had. Fondly, fondly reminisce. Remember takeaways? You go first, Jono. I remember when I used to feel so bloated, like a cow, that you'd have to pierce the stomach of to release the gassy pressure.

The fond memories. What was your last takeaway? I remember it like it was four weeks ago. Because it was? I didn't know at the time it was going to be the last Fish and Chip Friday. I remember the grease on my fingers from the snapper. It made my hands waterproof. It was so greasy.

I put the chips in a bread sandwich and drained them within an inch of their life in tomato sauce. I had a big old greasy deep fried sausage that I don't even think was made with real meat. It was so greasy it slipped out of my hands like a banana covered in Vaseline. Oh, fond memories.

Thank you for sharing. Thank memories. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. I feel like I'm at Alcoholics Anonymous. Yeah. I remember my last takeaway, guys. When was it, Ben? Four weeks ago.

Didn't know it at the time it was going to be my last takeaway. I was actually at my local bar and they had $1 wings. I ate four of them. Doesn't sound like a lot, but look at the size of me. That's a lot for me. $1 wings seems too cheap. Like, what does the grade of that mean? $1 wing? It's not like it's every night it's $1.

It's a special. It was a Friday night special. Isn't it $1 per wing? Or $1 for a group of wings? Per wing. Oh, so $1. Okay, you're right. I thought you said $1 for a bunch of wings. It's way too cheap. It's a bad business model. But anyway, if you'd like to reminisce about your takeaways, the last takeaway you had, I would love to hear from you today. I'll add the hits. we'll get to that next.

And because we are missing so many things, we thought we'd play our song about missing things. Right now, it's... It's Laura McGoldrick feed Jono and Ben. Yeah. Yeah. This one right here goes out to everyone in their bubble. Are you doing the voice? Yeah, I was going to do the voice. Oh, no, I can't do the voice.

Well, why didn't you give it a try? Oh, I know, but there's a lot of words to remember the song. I'm just trying to concentrate on that. Well, don't screw it up. Here's my white friend rapping. Check him out. Seems like yesterday we shook hands like bros. Now awkwardly we bang elbows. I miss seeing 100% of your face. In that

mask, are you gonna rob this place? Used to walk straight into Supermarket 2. Now we stand in line like we're waiting for Paul Loose. I work from home drinking Chardonnay even when the clock says it's only midday. Being locked down feels all kinds of wrong like two white guys rapping 90s parody songs. Zoom meetings

with my staff wearing nothing on my bottom half. Ashley Bloomfield touched our parts. Just to clarify we're talking about our hearts. Now to Laura on Zoom because legally we can't be in the same room. Every take away Every cafe call fire we're talking about our hearts now to laura on zoom because legally we can't be in the same room every cafe every hand to shake every restaurant steak i'll be missing you yeah sing it, girl. Thinking of the day. Sing some more. I can leave my driveway.

Sorry, we shouldn't talk about that. Take my track pants off. It's okay to cough. I'll be missing you. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Tuesday, it's happening, tea day.

It's coming, takeaway day, level three. We're allowed to get back on the takeaway train and I think we're going to replace this pandemic with some serious cardiac issues with our takeaway consumption. I'll tell you a lovely story last night. Wyatt Crockett, who is the former All Black, former Crusader, lives in Nelson.

He's offered for local businesses in this area to give away takeaways to be the delivery guy for free he's like if you want to open up

and you need someone to help you know drop some stuff off I'll do it for free which I thought was awesome good on you Wyatt Ben's going to

you said you were going to do that as well yeah well I didn't but I yeah what a nice guy so if your business wants Ben to deliver on Tuesday,

you'll be available. Yes, yes, I will be. Ben and Wyatt Crocker, great New Zealanders. Great New Zealanders. So we want to reminisce fondly about our last takeaways

ahead of Tuesday's takeaway day. What time are you going to start work on Tuesday? I hadn't thought. Do you want me to be here first thing in the morning? No, no, I mean, you can go and start. You can start first. I mean, you're doing things start work on Tuesday? I hadn't thought. Do you want me to be here first thing in the morning? No, no, I mean,

you can go and start. You can start first. I mean, you're doing things for the community, so you might as well get out there. Oh, I'll get out there, straight out there. Text through if you'd like.

Was it 4487? No. I'll give you Ben's email and you can liaise about how that's going to work. Okay, all right. Here we go. I'm glad.

So if you want to reminisce about your last takeaways. You'll pay for your own petrol and stuff as well? Yeah, of course I will, mate. Giving guy. Giving guy. Just, you know, selfless. Didn't you want to reminisce about your last takeaways. You'll pay for your own petrol and stuff as well? Yeah, of course I will, mate. Giving guy. Giving guy. Just, you know, selfless.

Didn't even want to talk about that on the radio, so thank you for bringing that up, Jono. It means a lot. Now, if you want to reminisce, as I said nine times, about takeaways, let's get to these calls. When was the last time you had takeaways, Emily? Speaking of which, Wyatt Crockett's in Nelson, Emily. Have you heard what Ben's doing as well?

Same as Wyatt? Sorry? Have you heard what Ben's doing? Same as Wyatt Crockett? Oh, my gosh. What? Yeah, Ben's going to deliver takeaways. Yeah, I'm delivering apparently.

Anyway, reminisce about your last. What was your last takeaways? My last takeaways was McDonald's. It was a Sunday morning, a beautiful Sunday morning after a few too many wines. So I pulled up in the drive-thru and I ordered the same order that I get every single time, which is a Big Mac combo with a frozen Coke. Oh, love it. And that's when she asks me, is that a medium or a large?

What did you do? Not knowing this was the last takeaways for four weeks, so what did you do? I still regret to this day getting a medium. It's haunted me. I feel so sad for myself that I got a medium. If you'd got the large, the large would have pulled you through. Yeah. I think it would have, honestly.

But, yeah, I still remember it as the best Big Mac I have ever had in my entire life, and I miss it. Yeah, well, only a few more days to go. You'll get through. Kia kaha. Stay strong, Emily. Stay strong. Thank you.

To Cambridge, Melissa, welcome. Last time you had takeaways, we're reminiscing. The floor is yours. Oh, God. It felt like that long ago. It was KFC, KFC in Cambridge and oh. Let me just tell you, I

am having to self-isolate from my partner so I haven't seen him in five weeks and I reckon I'm missing the K-fry. My lover. KFC is my actual lover. The actual lover, KFC, the colonel. I love the Colonel. God, he's so good.

And what a way for your partner to find out that you love fried chicken more than you do him. Oh, so good. Exactly. But it was a three-piece quarter pack. Always get the Zinger burger. And I love my chips a little bit soggy, so I like to keep them to the end.

Oh, let them steam up, yeah. Let them steam up. Fingers in. Rub them around the potatoes, baby. That's getting quite ironic. All right, we might wrap you up there. All right. I feel like I should start paying for this call.

Bring on Tuesday. Okay, Tuesday. It's not too far away, New Zealand. Takeaway day. It's happening in three days' time. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, he was Murray from Flight of the Conchords,

and he's been in so many Hollywood movies since then, like Jumanji. Ah, Dr. Bravestone. Welcome to Jumanji. So good. He's got a new YouTube series on his channel, The Alone Rangers, that he's made with his bubble. He's a Kiwi comedy legend. Rhys Darby joining us via Zoom. How

you going? Yeah, we're managing the same as everyone else, I guess, in this surreal world. You guys can still go to work and do your job. I know. Who would have thought this is an essential service? No, no. Yeah. I don't know if it is. Now, Rhys,

you've done a... Sorry, you go. Oh, no, it's alright. You know, I've really talked if it is. Now, Rhys, you've done a... Well, that's... Yeah, so, sorry, you go. Oh, no, it's all right. You know, I've really talked all over you. You go. Yeah, I think people are waiting to hear from me. So I think...

You're so right. You're right. Now, Rhys, of course, as Jono mentioned before, you've got together with your bubble and you're making a YouTube show in lockdown. It's available on ReStarBee's YouTube channel every Friday. It's called The Alone Rangers and you've got comedians, a Broadway actor and a filmmaker in your bubble. So that's pretty cool to use that experience and use your time to make something so creative. Yeah, we were very lucky.

I think we kind of looked at our skills and we thought it would be stupid if we didn't try and put something together. And even my oldest son, Finn, is a camera operator and he's doing some editing. So he's learning on the job training for television production, which is great. Yeah, we're a lucky bunch. It's a very funny show. And I mean, your son, he's got drone shots. He's got swooping camera shots.

I mean, your bubble is far more impressive than mine. You've got more talented people in your bubble than mine. Oh, come on now. I'm sure you're good at making biscuits or something. Now, Rhys, I was looking through your IMDB database. Your body of work, very impressive, far more impressive than my body. And I wanted to play a game with you. What a character with Reece Darby.

Now, I'm going to name the movie or TV show that you starred in and you have to tell me the name of your character. You've done so much, Reece. It's so impressive. And can I say, even recently watching the Jumanji movies with our kids, it just gives us such a proud feeling as a New Zealander to see you there and doing that. It's awesome.

Oh, thank you so much. Every time you're on screen, I'm like, he's from New Zealand! Yeah, I know! I've met him before. He might vaguely remember and say hi to me if I saw him in the street. Well, it helps I'm always doing the New Zealand accent. I just say, look, this is my voice. Let's use it.

The folks back home will appreciate it. Your ticket sales will kill in New Zealand, trust me. Actually, speaking of Jumanji, Jumanji I watch, because obviously you play in Jumanji, you play like a computer generated character. Was that kind of weird to be in a scene but kind of having to be a computer? It's truly the weirdest role I've ever had

because I'm itching to improvise, to be funny around those funny people. You know, these guys are allowed to have five or six different takes and try out new ideas. Poor old NPC has to say the exact same thing every time. But he's funny within his own right. He's an oddball adventurer and I like the fact that he just picks them up, tells them a whole

bunch of ridiculous jargon and then drops them somewhere and I like the fact that he just picks them up, tells them a whole bunch of ridiculous jargon, and then drops them somewhere, and, I'll see you at the end of the game. You know, there's that. And, of course, the movies are so successful, and they're a great family event. But, yeah, frustrating to not be able to do what I'm known for, which is improvise.

Yeah, that's right. Why are they getting five takes? I get one take. One of the takes, I'm still drinking my water bottle. Exactly. Here's the movie. You give me the character that you played. This was a 2009 film with Jim Carrey called

Yes Man. What was the name of Rhys Darby's character? My name is Norm. Well done. One from one. 2009 a film called The Boat That Rocks. I looked at my wife, but I actually knew.

It's Angus. Angus the Nut. Well done. In 2011, you starred in a rom-com called Lovebirds, and your character's name was? Oh, that's a tricky one.

Quick, Google that one, will you? He's a good-looking guy. And now I'm having a clue. It rhymes with rug. Rhymes with rug. Rug? Oh, Doug. Yeah, Doug.

Of course, good old Doug. How could you forget him? How could I forget that guy? He's a bit sappy. I'm going to go real hard for you now. 2016 episode of X-Files. Do you remember the name of the character you played in the X-Files? Easy.

Because that's Guy Mann. Oh, well done. Well done. Very, very cool role. You were in, I think it was a film, called Killing Hasselhoff with David Hasselhoff. Oh, yeah. And the character of? Fish.

Yes. Yeah. We'll go with another great movie, Jeroen. What We Do in the Shadows. Oh, so that was Anton. Yes. Well done. You're doing really good.

Just testing my memory here. I'm worried about. I can't even remember what I did this morning. You're doing really well. Just testing my memory here. I'm worried about... I can't even remember what I did this morning. You're doing really well. And of course, on YouTube right now, Rhys Darby is in the Lone Rangers on his YouTube channel every Friday playing the character of...

Bill Napier. There we go. Bill Napier. Rhys Darby, it's always a pleasure to catch up with you, mate. And good on you for making something creative, cool, fun, and something to take people's minds off being in lockdown during this period, mate.

Thank you. And a special shout out to my crew here, particularly two of the guys who are editing and doing like 10 hours editing plus throughout the evening. So I'm going to really have to cut down on how these scripts are going because they're getting angry with me. They said you were going to fly us to New Zealand

and we could just all hang out and chill. Now we're working AMS. Unpaid. Oh, no. Yeah, for the first couple of weeks. Reece, good to see you, buddy. Take care, and hopefully we'll see you soon. Yeah, absolutely.

Take it easy, boys. See you, bud. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Anzac Day is tomorrow. If you want to pay tribute to those who made the ultimate sacrifice, you can put a picture of a poppy on your windowsill while you're in lockdown.

And everyone's been encouraged to go to their letterbox at dawn and pay tribute there because obviously the dawn parades aren't happening, are they? Yeah. I told the thing I told you the other day, part of a school project, I had to try and cook Anzac biscuits for Oscar, my son. And gee whiz, I tell you what, they were rock hard. No one was eating those. It's probably quite a good thing, school wasn't open,

he could take them to school. I broke three windows with them. My grandpa, Bill, he fought in the Second World War, so you know. Is this the one you glued his eyes shut? No, no, that's the other grandpa. Ben somehow managed to super glue his grandad's eyes shut. Yeah, that was the other one. Because the eye drops were kept next to the superglue.

I didn't know at the time. Fatal mistake. Anyway, but he fought in the war. And I actually remember going to the Wairu Army Museum with him when I was little. And I remember him going through there and being in tears. But emotional. Brought back a lot of memories. He said the only thing they didn't have were the flies.

He said it was so realistic for him. Wow. But then he also used it to his advantage. I remember the other time getting pulled over, he was speeding and he was like to the cop, I fought in the war for people like you. The guy's like, well, thank you, but it's

not going to get you off the speeding ticket. Sir, you're five times over the drink driving limit. Yeah, I fought in the war for you. It doesn't just get you a get out of jail free card. I mean, you did make the ultimate sacrifice. They really did. And they didn't like to talk about it, did they?

No. That's what I said when he cried at the Army Museum. I was like, wow, this is really, I hadn't seen this before, you know? Yeah. I mean, the stuff they would have seen. It's so young. It went like as teenagers, a lot of them. Yeah.

It's incredible. There's an amazing exhibition at the Te Papa. Oh, Sir Peter Jackson. Yeah, he's made that, well, which is, should I tell that thing? Oh, yeah. Okay, so we had to, Sir Peter Jackson's war memorial, war tribute to the soldiers.

The detail on that is incredible. He's got these, if you haven't been, it's a must. Every New Zealander should go. But he's got all the soldiers and everything, and they're enormous. So I think we had a workshop designing them all and stuff. And Ben and me were emceeing some, was it some travel agency awards night?

Yeah. We were doing a shocking job of it. It was not going well. It wasn't great. So it was in Te Papa. Yeah. They cleared it out beforehand, and then our backstage area was next to these war soldiers.

Yeah, and it was very dark back there, so we came off stage, we both had an absolute shocker. It wasn't good. Our jokes were falling flat. Please end this now. I think we played the wrong video. We had a shocker. And I couldn't see, and then I walked into the hand,

or the finger, of one of the oversized soldiers, got blasted by the finger of one of the oversized soldiers got blasted by the finger of the soldier and in my forehead and then I came into the light Ben's like are you okay

and there was an egg on my forehead your blood coming we had to go back on stage my forehead was bleeding so basically I've been to war

fought in war after that Willie Apiata he called me up he's like do you want my Victoria Cross because I think

you deserve it now there's no one more deserving than you Because I think you deserve it now. There's no one more deserving than you, right? I think you've earned it. So, yeah. I always think it was some sort of sick revenge from Sir Peter Jackson for being the only New Zealander who hasn't seen Lord of the Rings. He's like, I'll get you back, buddy.

I'll get one of my oversized soldiers to waste you in the face. So do pay tribute to those tomorrow that made the ultimate sacrifice. Get out there at six o'clock if you can or whenever the sun comes out. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Somehow these two clowns received an essential service certificate. But it's time for someone that's truly essential. It's Jono and Ben's ISO legend. Thanks to GrabOne. It's my favourite part of the show. Every day we reward an ISO Legend, someone who's doing great work, making a special impact

in the community and thanks very much to GrabOne for jumping on board for this. We give them a $250 GrabOne voucher. Your everyday essentials delivered today. There's some awesome stuff on GrabOne so check it out. Yes, changing lives. I'm talking about Ben handing out the voucher, changing the lives. I don't know if that's good.

These are people that are actually doing good things. Oh, they're the ones changing the lives. I thought you said you were changing the lives. I don't know if it's going to. These are people that are actually doing good things. Oh, they're the ones changing the lives. I thought you said you were changing the lives. No, no. Hello, Courtney. Courtney Wheeler, welcome. Hello, how are you doing? It's Jono and Ben from The Hitch.

You're on the radio. We've got to do that legally or else you can come and bite us in a court case later on, okay? Please don't do that. We can't afford to pay legal costs at the moment. Courtney, you're a nurse. Yes, I am. So I'm a nurse that's currently working at the community swapping clinics at the moment.

So your phone was just a bit watery there. You're working at the COVID-19 swabbing clinics. Yeah, so we're based down in Lower Hutt. And then we've got a couple of clinics all over the Hatch area. Wow. So, Job, you're putting your body on the line literally each day for New Zealand. Wow. Lots of people are.

Yeah. What a humble Kiwi. Yeah. Have you found the numbers, you know, obviously they've been decreasing, you know, overall? The amount of people turning up each day? Well, no, we've actually seen an increase in the amount of people turning up each day? Well, no, we've actually seen an increase in the amount of people coming for swabbing, which is good because when we step down to level three,

we want more people coming in and getting their swabs done just so we can see if it's better out in the community. My sister-in-law got a test out west for a virus, not the first time they've done virus testing out west Auckland, but she was saying it was a very unusual experience getting tested. There's something that goes up your nose?

Yep, so we first put the swab down your throat and then up your nose. Wow. Does it go through your throat, up your nose,

or does it go down your throat and then you do another one up your nose? No, we do the same swab, but it's good that it's not

the other way around so we don't go down your throat. Yeah, that's good. Well, thank you so much for the work you're doing in the community. We really do appreciate it. We'd like to give you a $250 Grab One voucher. Oh my gosh, really?

Yes, yeah, well no. Well, it'd be pretty savage if we said no now. So we wouldn't do that to you, Courtney. And there was one story I'm just reading here. Some men came in and stole what? Oh my gosh, yes. A couple of girls took

some of our equipment, so masks and gloves. It's a bit unfortunate, but we've only had that happen once. So people, some men barged in, stole the masks, the gloves, the sanitiser. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah. That's a bit unfortunate, but I, the sanitiser. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. That's a bit unfortunate, but I mean, you know,

I only had them once, so it's all good. Oh, well, you stay safe, and thank you so much for what you're doing for New Zealand right now. We need people like you, and it's awesome that you're doing this. Cool, thank you so much, guys. You guys stay safe as well. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Good morning, class. Quiet, please. Quiet, please. Quiet! I said shut your pie holes! Apologies, that really went from zero to a hundred. Welcome to Jono and Ben's homeschool. A renegade, unsanctioned educational faculty fully supported by the Ministry of Education in no way at all.

Now, tuck in your socks and pull up your shirts. I'm pretty sure that's how that goes. Please stand and welcome your teachers with literally no teaching qualifications whatsoever, Mr. Pryor and Mr. Boyce. Yes, welcome along to John O'Byrne's homeschooling here on The Hits. Between nine and ten, we play some fun little games

from our bubble to yours. You can win thanks to Disney+. It's an awesome prize, a year's worth of Disney+. You can also head right now to DisneyPlus.com for a seven-day free trial. And today, Onward is released on Disney+, which is awesome. The new Pixar movie with Chris Pratt and Tom Holland

providing the voices. We'd like to take the school roll. Ben? Here. Jono? Here. None on my head, but hair and body and mind. You know, just to let you behind the scenes,

we're running this on Facebook Live as well. If you want to go and join us on the Hits Breakfast Facebook page. Yeah, go on. Yeah, go on. Yeah, go on. Ellen, Social Ellen, who usually runs it here in the production booth, is actually doing it from home. And he's coming in via witchcraft.

But listen to how creepy he sounds. Hello, Ellen. Good morning, everyone. I haven't woken up yet. I haven't had a coffee. He's like whispering and he's a bit croaky. He's not wanting to wake up

flatmates and stuff. Sounds like he has woken up flatmates. There's some noise going on in the background. Now, how's homeschooling work, Jono? Basically, there's four classes. Our star pupil,

you can call us right now on 0800 THE HITS. If you remain on at the end of school, you win the Disney Plus subscription. But if you get one question wrong over those four classes, we expel you and we go on to the next student. 0800

The Hits is the phone number. Give us a call right now if you want to be our first student playing for your kids, playing for your family. 0800 The Hits. Playing for your life. That's the phone number. And of course, before 10 o'clock we have a celebrity guest that joins us. We give out clues. Here is your first one. Hey Jono and Ben, I taught myself how to

play piano when I was four and I've never stopped playing piano since. So when you were four? I taught yourself. How does it work? Wow, okay, we'll find out who that is. I feel like that's made up. Before 10 o'clock. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up 10 o'clock. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. History, they say it never repeats. Unless this bit features in a replay form at a later date. So how does this class work, Jono? It's basically Ben holding up important figures from history. I have to describe them and you have to try and figure out who they are. Six of them in 60 seconds if you can. And please welcome our first star pupil and hopefully our only star pupil if she gets every question correct.

Michaela Corley, how's the hut this morning? Good. Yeah? Mullets are flowing in the wind. The Woodstock cans are drizzling down the throats. I just realised you're 13 years old and this is probably not an appropriate conversation to have. Michaela, are you ready?

Yep. Okay, six in 60 seconds. Ben is looking quite flustered over there. Yeah, we'll see how we go, Michaela. All right. Okay. All right. Start the timer now.

Former All Black captain, helicopters, flies helicopters, married to Gemma. Richie McCaw? Richie McCaw. Married to Hayley Bieber. Bit of a wild child. He started when he was about 14. It's too late now to say sorry. Justin Bieber?

Well done. There's two. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nah. Very nice. The guy, he was a character in a movie. He wore like a green.

We'll move on. Climbed Mount Everest with Sherpa Tenzing. He's on the $5 bill. Edmund Henry? Yes, there we go. There's three. Married to Meghan Markle. Prince Harry?

There's four. He's Thor. He acts as Thor. He's Australian. Actor. Next one. Prime Minister of New Zealand. Labour Party.

Prince Hemsworth? Prince Hemsworth. Did we get there? No, we got five. Five. Labour Party. Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth. Did we get there? No, we got five. Five. So close. Michaela, you did so well. I'm going to send you out a copy of Beat the Parents,

Thanks to Planet Fun, all right? Because you were awesome. Thank you. You look after yourself, all right? That was tough. That was really tough. All right, so now 0800 the hits. If you want to become the new star pupil,

you can join us next for our English class for the 12 month Disney Plus subscription we'll get to that next but of course before 10 o'clock we've got a celebrity guest joining us

here is your next clue I wrote one of my most successful hit singles in just 10 minutes I'll stop bragging about it I told myself how to play piano when I was 4

my number 1 single took only 10 minutes so who is this overachiever? Making me feel bad about my life. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's time for English.

Fun fact, English is actually Jono and Ben's second language. Please welcome our next star pupil to win the 12-month Disney Plus subscription. She's a mother. She's from Auckland. And her name is Anne. Welcome, Anne. Hi, guys. How are you?

Good to have you on the air. We're doing really well. Anne, also my mother's name. Anne. Oh, great name. We try and get her on the radio all the time, but she refuses. Yeah, she doesn't like it. It's one of her pet peeves when we call her on the radio.

And I'm like, you've got so many fans. We tried to start a fan club, Annie's Fannies. It didn't quite work out, did it? But I tell you what, Annie, I'm a fanny of you. Oh my God, very nice. That's a weird start to the radio chat. Are you craving anything takeaways-wise

for Tuesday next week? Yeah, KFC and McDonald's. Wicked wings. It's almost like you want to go to one and then drive straight to the other and then go back again and just keep repeating that loop all day. I think I'll do that. Okay. You good at English, Anne?

Maths actually is my best subject. Oh, well, that's coming up. Not at all, actually. We decided not to do a maths class. Couldn't work out how to make it exciting for radio. So what we're going to do, Producer Juliet's going to read you out a word. None of us know the meaning of the word, really So what we're going to do, Producer Juliette's going to read you out a word. None of us know the meaning of the word, really.

And we're going to give you three choices. One of these is the actual meaning. You've got to guess which one it is. So your first word is pingwood. Is this a word that means resembling fat, so oily or greasy? Is it pingu's half-sister? Or is it a brand of deep fried scored rings?

Ooh. Let's go with A for Anne, fat and oily. Well done. Just what you're craving on Tuesday. You've got it right. I am going to be fat and oily on Tuesday. All right, your next word. Next word is lollygag. Is this a bubblegum wrapper? Next word is lollygag.

Is this a bubblegum wrapper? Does it mean to spend time in an aimless or lazy way? Or is it what they call gobstoppers in England? Lollygag. Lollygag. Let's go for spend time aimlessly. Well done. You are our star pupil and you hold the line because at the moment

that Disney Plus subscription for 12 months is yours if you continue to be our star pupil. With the next round we're going to do music with your necks, alright? Thank you.

Good on you, Anne. Of course, we've got our big celebrity guest joining us before 10. Here's your next clue. I went to the same high school as Nicky in Paris Hilton. Lou in calories

and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Alright class, time to shove a slobbery, unhygienic recorder in your mouth. It's music. Sorry, I talked all over the introduction there. Sorry. Producer Juliet, this is not your fault.

Sorry. I'll take the hit on that. That was my bad. I knew you were going to do that. We're just learning off here about the Statue of Liberty before we get into music class. Yeah, because we're playing Beat the Parents for Facebook Live. If you want to join us at the Hits Breakfast on Facebook. Ben's got into a whole of Statue of Liberty before we get into music class. Yeah, because we're playing Beat the Parents for Facebook Live if you want to join us at the Hits Breakfast

on Facebook. Ben's got into a whole of Statue of Liberty facts. Yeah, so it was built in France and then they disassembled it and they put it in 214 crates and sent it to America,

to New York. And originally, it was pitched for Egypt and they went, oh no, we don't want it. And so America ended up with it. The biggest pain in the ass

flat pack ever in history. Putting out the flat pack together. Yeah, and then they can't really hide it because it took 15 years for it really to be, like for people in America to really embrace it. And so it's a long time. It's not like one of those gifts you can hide away, right? And then we're allowed.

Oh, France is coming. We can put the Statue of Liberty on display. Oh, we love it. We have it out all the time. Who says you don't learn stuff on this show? Me. I do. I'll forget that in about 10 minutes.

You know, it's one of those facts that you learn and say you'll never forget, but you do. Anne, you're our star pupil. And you're in the music class right now. It's a pretty simple class, to be honest. You've just got to finish the line to these popular songs, and you're still in the running for that Disney Plus subscription. Okay. And I...

And I don't need you. Well done. Hold on. Do we have pink on the phone? Because that was... That was really good, wasn't it? And I don't know what you do for a job, but retire and take up singing. That was awesome.

All right, you got one of those lyrics correct. Here's your next one. Now the proclaimers are on the phone. This lady. That's right. It's a lot of walking for the proclaimers are on the phone. This lady. That's right. It's a lot of walking for the proclaimers. Well done. How long is that in Ks? This is over 1,000 Ks, isn't it? 500 miles. They're doing a lot.

And your last one from Maroon 5 Sugar. Yeah, you show me good loving, make it alright. Need a little need a little sweetness in my life. Oh, well done.

Adam Levine, thank you so much. All right, well, you're still in the running. We've got one more class to do. And if you get yourself through this, navigate your way through this, you're going to win that Disney Plus subscription for your children, Anne. Yay, sounds cool.

All right, hold the line. Kids are happy, Anne's happy, I'm happy. Who's not happy? We'll be back with Anne to see if she becomes our school ducks next, but our celebrity guest, who is it? Here's the next clue. I dyed my hair blonde after someone

mistook me for Amy Winehouse. I still haven't worked out how this... I don't. So they taught themselves piano at four, went to the same school as Nicky and Paris Hilton, and then said that they wrote their hit number one song in under 10 minutes. Yeah, so who is this person?

They're going to join us before 10 o'clock. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. All right, everybody, shut up and listen to today's School Ducks. Now we put our star student up for one final task, their final subject, their duck speech. If they complete this,

they'll win the year's subscription to Disney+. Anne's done well. She's survived three classes unscathed, but this is where a lot of people can trip up, isn't it? This is the moment that some savage student can come in and just steal your prize away from you, Anne, without doing any of the heavy lifting. How does that

make you feel? Not good. Not good. It doesn't make me feel good as well. Ben? No, it doesn't make me feel good. She's indifferent. No. It doesn't make me feel good as well. Ben? No, it doesn't make me feel good. Do you? She's indifferent. No. It doesn't make me feel good either. No.

No one feels good about this. Good. Okay. But even though we devised the format of the game, it still doesn't make us feel good. So to end school today and win the 12-month Disney Plus subscription, you have 30 seconds

without saying um or ah to give a valedictorian speech on the long-lasting health benefits associated with listening to Jono and Ben on the Hits. And also the fact that research suggests listening to Jono, Ben on the Hits is the key to unlocking eternal youth. Okay, now I don't understand half of that, but hopefully you do. Are you ready to try and talk for 30 seconds without pausing or saying um or ah? I will try.

The floor is yours and the timer starts now. Okay, the long-lasting health benefits that come with listening to Jono and Ben is that it's a very proven show that people who listen to Jono and Ben have lived much longer than those who don't.

I suspect it's because of the extreme humour and laugh you get from listening to them. And when you listen to people, they like to practice good hearing skills. And who doesn't need to hear well? Well, actually, dogs like to hear well. And everyone... I like how you started and you moved on to dogs somehow and it was like you were reading

some North Korean propaganda for Kim Jong Un it was I take my cue from Jacinda good on you and you did a wonderful job

you didn't say Amara so you've won your family the 12 month Disney Plus subscription you guys will love it there's all the Simpsons episodes all the Marvel movies

Pixar movies as well a new one is on there today and if you haven't got Disney Plus you can get a 7 day free trial at DisneyPlus.com

right now all the Marvel movies yeah all the Marvel movies yeah they're pretty excited about that

it sounds like you are not going to sleep this weekend and watch all the Marvel movies, Anne. Enjoy, Anne. First single one. Have a good one.

Thank you. See you, matey. There we go. Homeschooling continues next. Actually, if you are a kid and you want to take on Jono in a game, we're going to play Beat the Parents before 10 o'clock. But as well as that, we've got a celebrity guest. I'm the godmother of Elton John's two sons.

God, I don't know who it is. I don't know who it is. I've kept this one from us. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Okay, students, time for the Beat the Parents class. No, you're right. This is not part of the traditional curriculum, but at this school, we throw that out for shameless product placement.

A lot of families getting into board games at the moment, and here's one you could win right now. We played an example of it on the radio. It's called Beat the Parents. It's thanks to Planet Fun. You can get that in stores around the country. Kids take on grown-ups in a fun-filled trivia challenge. Yeah, and you take on me and Ben

antagonises me. He's like, this could be the other day you win the board game, little man. Talking to me. Pats me on the head condescendingly. And I've never won the board game and never had a chance to even come close to winning the board game. little man? Talking to me. It pats me on the head condescendingly. And I've never won the board game and never had a chance to even come close to winning the board game. I just take one question.

Okay, Lucas, welcome. Hi. How old are you, Lucas? 12. Oh, whole life ahead of you. Yeah. Good on you. What do you want to do when you're older, Lucas?

Be alive. Okay. That's a great goal. Great dreams and aspirations. I like it. Yeah, that's good. That's a great goal. Great dreams and aspirations. I like it. It's good. That's sort of a goal an 80-year-old would try and have for the next 10 years, isn't it? But Lucas has got that at a young age.

I like it. I like it, Lucas. And he's setting the bar quite low, too, as well. It's achievable to stay alive. So well done, Lucas. Good on you. Now, Lucas, your first question here. These are tougher questions today on the Kids Ones.

What part of the house has eaves? Eaves. E-A-V-E-S. The roof. He's got it right. Not only is he going to be staying alive, he's going to be an architect worth multi-millions of dollars when he's older. Okay, Jono, your question.

This is Jono's question. What kind of animal is lumpy in Winnie the Pooh? The clue. I don't know. Hang on. This is for Jono, your question. This is Jono's question. What kind of animal is Lumpy in Winnie the Pooh? The clue... No, no, no. Hang on. This is for Jono. The clue is in the name, Lumpy. Lumpy in Winnie the Pooh. Now, I'll just go through the cast.

Oh, no, it's not one of the main cast of characters. It's not one of the main cast? Yeah. So not Eeyore or... No, it's one that Pooh's are scared of. Lumpy? And the clue's in lumpy. Yeah, lumpy.

I've never heard of lumpy associated with Winnie the Pooh. I mean, he's big. No, it's not. Are you fat-shaming Winnie the Pooh? I don't have to be fat-shaming Winnie the Pooh. Heffa-lump. I've never heard of heffa-lump. Mate, you'll spend some more time with Winnie the Pooh.

Okay. Not with the buzzer, Juliet. I mean, it just makes me feel even worse about myself, okay? Okay, your next question. This is the kid's question. Who wrote the book The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe? C.S. Lewis. Well done.

Who is this child genius you have on the phone? These are tough questions. Jono, what is the only mammal that can fly? I don't know. Flying him out. Okay. Dolphin. Bat.

A bat's a mammal. There you go. We're learning stuff. Now, you're listening to this. You may be thinking that the questions are swayed Towards Lucas but they're not today He's winning He's out beating me, he's out playing and he deserves this Lucas has got to

Lucas can take it out, we'll give it to him You can't win from here You can't win from here Give me a pity question I'll give you the kids one What are the letters SPF Lucas you just don't have to answer this. You've got the game anyway.

This is for Jono. What does the letters SPF stand for in suntan lotion? Salty princess feet. Okay. All right, well done, Lucas. Speak to the parents. It's all yours, buddy. Thank you.

You look after yourself, Lucas. Keep safe, mate. Thank you. Good on you, buddy. And keep staying alive. Yes. That's his life goal. That's the main goal

at the moment Before 10 o'clock we're joined by a big celebrity guest we've been told who it is it's a big guest It is a huge guest

I didn't get it from the clues though Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram

We do homeschooling between 9 and 10 each day It's been a lot of fun I think we're going to do it again next week. Yeah, more Disney Plus subscriptions next week. We'll catch you back on Monday and Tuesday as well. Oh, Monday's a holiday, isn't it?

Yeah, you've got the Monday-ization. Anyway, we've given you clues as to who our big celebrity guest has been right throughout this school session. We learned that she taught herself how to play piano at age four, went to the same high school as Nicky and Paris Hilton. She's the goddaughter to Elton John's son.

Yeah, she wrote one of her songs in 10 minutes. If you haven't worked out who it is. Joining us live via Zoom, Lady Gaga herself. Great. I'm so excited to be here. Us too. We're excited to be here but unfortunately we have to go because the show is wrapping up at 10

o'clock. Thank you for your time. We'll reconvene next week I think. We'll pick this interview up next week. Maybe Tuesday. Yeah. We might get back to you on Tuesday. But anyway have a great weekend and thank you so much for listening. We'll be back as Jono says Monday morning on The Hits. It's been a lot of fun. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the Jono says Monday morning on The Hits. It's been a lot of fun.