Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 29 - Winston Peters, Big News Small Town, Lockdown Love Line

Episode Date: April 28, 2020

The Rude Awakening GameBen's drink bottle10 Second Business PlugWhat has lockdown got you out of?Big News Small TownAre you listening New Zealand?Winston PetersWe get an update on Ben's challenge to get 100,000 followers on TikTok10 Second Business PlugLockdown Love LineJono & Ben's Home School Day #7See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Wednesday morning. This is our show for Wednesday morning. Great to have you with us. It is great to have you with us. You know, we had a meeting yesterday on Zoom with the guy we're doing some work with, and he shared his screen with us, which I thought was very dangerous. Yes, and you could see him going into his folders and what was on his computer. You're like, oh, where's he taking us? Luckily, he didn't have anything, you know, like we shouldn't be looking at.

I wouldn't have the confidence to share my screen. Imagine sharing your internet history with someone. Oh, dear God. How many people are on this meeting? Oh, God, the video's playing. I can't. Oh, God. You know, if anything started playing, you'd start to panic and try and share it.

Oh, God. So he had a blemish-free computer. He did. Well, to have the confidence to share your screen, you've got to know that there's no skeletons in that computer. I'd have to burn this computer. Shut the lid. That computer scene.

We've got a big show today. Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters joins us live, not pre-recorded. He refused to do a pre-recorded interview. As you'll find out in the podcast, feels he's been stitched up in editing. Not by us. In the past. By some other people as well as that.

We give businesses a chance to advertise 10-second ads as well. Enjoy the podcast. We'll catch you tomorrow. The soggy cornflakes of radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Yeah, I don't know if you saw in the news last night, lovely moment of a lot of grandparents

seeing their grandkids for the first time. I saw that guy and he, because he'd looked through the window at his grandchild, but then Because they've been born over lockdown obviously elderly people couldn't hang out with other people. And then he looked at the news camera and that smile on that grandad's face.

Beautiful. Champagne stuff, isn't it? Cameraman would have been like, you're doing things to me. You're making parts of my body move that shouldn't be moving right now. Yeah, it was a very nice moment. Anyway, this won't be quite as nice a moment. We're going to wake someone up right now. What's that?

Oh, no. Shut up. Now what? Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. All right, thanks to Hell Pizza, which is open again. The gates of Hell open again yesterday. Contact list delivery and contact list pick-ups at hell.co.nz. Bobby F on the phone.

Bobby F sounds like an extra cast member from Little Mix. Welcome, Bobby F. Good morning. Good to have you on. Whereabouts in this country are you, Bobby? I'm in Moranfield, hometown of our Prime Minister. Oh, yeah. Are you guys proud of Jacinda there?

Oh, babe, she couldn't be doing a better job. She's absolutely the bomb. She is doing a great job. The rest of the world are looking at New Zealand right now, and a lot of people wanting to be here, which is kind of cool. But you can't come because we've shut the borders. Yeah, exactly. That's right, Bobby. Hey, good on you. Now we're going to rudely, crudely of cool. But you can't come because we shut the borders. Yeah, exactly. That's right, Bobby.

Hey, good on you. Now, we're going to rudely, crudely wake someone up from your life. Who are we going to call here? You're going to call my daughter, Ashley, and wake her up. Yeah, now, this is the game show that no one's asked to be a part of and hopefully they don't remember being a part of because they're in such a deep slumber. Let's see if Ashley can land these four questions for $40 worth of hell pizza.

I'm pretty sure she can. Morning. Ashley. Oh, she's sprightly. Are you already up? Yes, I am already up. Oh, early bird, worm and something like that? Yeah, something like that. First question. Welcome, it's Jono and Ben on The Hitcher on the radio. Former All Black Captain Richie McCaw now does what? A.

Flies helicopters. B. Spends his time running in every commercial he films. Or C. Designs chimneys now does what? A. Flies helicopters. B. Spends his time running in every commercial he films. Or C. Designs chimneys for versatile homes. A. Yeah, I would have accepted all three of those, really. But anyway. Every commercial they put Richie McCaw in, they're like, mate, you need to run. He's just running and everything.

Westpac ads. Those headphone ads they did, yeah. The Beats ads. The Vitamin ad. He's just running. He just likes to run. Yeah, he's a fit guy. That's all Richie does is he just runs.

Lake Taupo is roughly as big as what? A, Ben's heart. B, Singapore. C, a really big puddle. C? C, a really big puddle? B, sorry. B, Singapore. Oh, B, Singapore.

Yeah, well done. Well done. You know, Singapore is home to 5.6 million people. Same population pretty much as New Zealand, right? A little bit more. In Lake Topol. Crazy. All right, two from two.

Third question. Lord's real name is what? A, Taylor Swift. B, Beyonce Knowles. C, Ella. C. Well done. Well done.

You've got $30 from HelpEat, so this is for $40. Last question. New Zealander Brent McKenzie is what? A, a successful real estate agent, B, an Academy Award winning actor, or C, an influencer who sells fit tea on Instagram? I'm just going to guess and go A. A real estate agent, a successful one.

I tell you what, he's not, but if he was, he would be bloody good at it. Unfortunately, he's an Academy Award winning actor. He's from Flight of the Conchords, but anyway, he got some Hell Pizza anyway. He might diversify his portfolio into real estate. He might have sold a house, we don't know that. It's early in the morning. We're going to give you 40 bucks Hell Pizza just because it's easy. Easy for the admin, all right? Oh, cool.

Thank you, guys. You have a good morning. You too. You too. Look after yourself, Bob EF. Look after Morrinsville. Kierkegaard. Kierkegaard.

Remember to double pump the Murgles. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I made some jelly the other day, actually, and the jelly wasn't ready for me when I went to check it. Was it so you got in too early? Yeah, it takes about 24 hours, it seemed to. You never sit comfortably in my mouth, Jelly.

I'm like, what is in my mouth right now? It's an odd thing, right? It is an odd thing. But anyway, I made some jelly and yesterday... That's definitely when you've got nothing else

to do on your calendar. You've got a packet in the cupboard, you're like, oh, I guess we could make that. Jelly's been here since 1997. Actually, speaking of lockdown, one of the cool things

I've actually enjoyed about lockdown is hanging out with the family and my two daughters, you know, because they don't get to see other kids, you know, and play with other kids, they've actually formed a really cool bond. They're eight and ten years old through this, you know, sort of lockdown.

This is bad though, but when kids team up, they're like velociraptors. You don't want them teaming up. You've got to keep them separate or else they become stronger than you. Well, yesterday we were like, oh, that's this afternoon, I was like, well, let's go for a bit of a walk. We'll walk the dog and they were like, hey, can we walk behind you, the two of us, you know, yesterday we were like, oh, that's this afternoon. I was like, well, let's go for a bit of a walk. We'll walk the dog. And they were like, hey, can we walk behind you, the two of us? You know, like we're walking together. I was like, oh God, this has already started.

They don't want to walk with Dad. That's what I do actually too when Ben and me walk together. I'll just walk 10 steps behind you. Because I'm Ben from Jono and Ben. I know people don't want to walk with me. Even the dog's like, can I go 20 metres ahead, mate? So I was like, yeah, that's fine. That's fine. You guys can walk behind. And then my two little daughters are like, oh, can we take a snack? Can we bring a drink bottle? I'm like, ahead, mate. So I was like, yeah, that's fine. That's fine. You guys can walk behind.

And my two little daughters are like, oh, can we take a snack? Can we bring a drink bottle? I'm like, oh, we're not going for days. We're not beer grills. But do what you want to do. Take whatever, you know? I feel like you're about to get played here for some reason. Well, no.

Well, it's actually, I'll carry on. Because we went for a walk. I could hear them laughing away behind me. And I was like, oh, cool. They're having a great time. I'm walking with the dog. They're 10 metres behind. And I was probably about 5, 10 metres into it,

I turned around and they were drinking out of a drink bottle but they'd got two hip flasks from my home. And these luckily hadn't been used, they were promotional ones

but they'd decided because it was a short walk they needed small drink bottles and they'd be walking down the road laughing away while I'd walked in front drinking water

from hip flask I'm like oh my god I look like the worst parent in the world like with two drunken kids behind me can't believe the fact he doesn't pay his

child support payments he's won that title New Zealand so yeah so anyway if you did see my kids walking along that's the story

that's the back story well that's what he's told SIFs anyway and that's what he's now told the radio so now you've said it on the radio it's evidence oh thank you thank you that's what he's told SIFs anyway. And that's what he's now told the radio. So now you've said it on the radio, it's evidence. Oh, thank you, thank you. That's all I wanted to do.

Serving bowls of loaves for breakfast. Actual loaves may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Now, of course, takeaways and many other businesses opened yesterday. A lot of apps crashed yesterday from too much overloading from people trying to get their fix. Tap that app.

I noticed downstairs from here, Peter's Pit. Oh, yeah. Peter Pit. Peter Pit had a table out the front. So then I saw someone go up and they're like, hey, wave. And then the person, they step back and the person has to put their order on the table. And then there's this weird sort of drug transaction that takes place, but no one touches it. There was another one, a cafe just down the road from where I live,

where they're doing it in cars. So they come out and put your coffee on your bonnet, and you have to leave it, and then you come out and grab it, and grab it. Yeah, so yeah. How long is that going to go on for? I know. Is this the, I love it, because I don't know,

are we ever going to shake another hand? No, I don't think so. No? You're not, being a germ guy. No, no, exactly. He hated shaking hands before this. Exactly. Okay, we're doing the plug line right now. A lot of new businesses

being mentioned opened up yesterday, but your customer base, they might not know. They might not know you're open. So this priceless form of advertising on Nationwide Radio is all yours. Melissa, welcome. Hi. Alright, Melissa, you've got to advertise your

business. You've got 10 seconds to do it. Away you go. Flooringextra.co.nz. We've got thousands of samples online for you to browse. You can get your favourites delivered to your door. You can live chat with our expert designers and we can even book your free measure. Oh, you're so good.

So good. You've got the name and the website there from the get-go. That was good. Thousands of choices to choose. Expert designers. I mean, you got it all in there in 10 seconds. Well done, Melissa. Thank you.

Good luck with the business. Brendan. She was really good. She was. Brendan, welcome. Hello. Hey, mate. Brendan, you can't talk over the whole system.

Well, you're still welcome. Producer Juliet, huh, mate? I'll go, Brendan, welcome. You go, hey, guys. And then we'll play the music, okay? Brendan, welcome. Cool. Hey, guys. Brendan is back.

Brendan, you're going to advertise your business. You've got 10 seconds. Away you go. We're Guffery Barron. We're locally owned and operated decorating stores throughout the country. Support local. We do everything decorating from curtains, flooring, paint, wallpaper and more.

We've got virtual consultations. So, virtual consultations, so can people do that over Zoom? Correct, yes. So we can do colour schemes, curtain measures or consultations. Guthrie Brower in Rotorua in Taupo.

Correct. Good on you, Brendan. Hey, I hope your business gets back on its feet, mate. Thank you very much, guys. Good on you. I'm not much of a painter. I did some painting a couple of months ago. Takes a lot of patience. No, I know.

Are you a painting person? No, not at all. Because we've got like a deck and I painted one half and my wife painted the other half and my half. Like, start again. It's not good. You got me to paint your deck once. No, deck, yeah. I came over, remember? That's right, like, start again. It's not good. You got me to pay your dick debt once. No, debt, yeah.

I came over, remember? Yeah, that's right. You're like, come over and pay my debt. It was a fun afternoon. It was a fun afternoon, you're right. All right, we'll take one more. The 10-second plug line. Melanie is on the phone.

Hi. Oh, my God. I just did the whole don't talk over the music thing. Mel, what do you want to plug? You've got 10 seconds. Go. It's a TV show. It's called Have You Been Paying Attention?

It's on at 8.30 tonight, and it's where comedians, we buzz in and we talk about the news, and it's really funny. This is Mel Bracewell. How's it going? Oh, hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.

I tell you, I wasn't paying attention to our producers when they let this one slip past the goalie. Oh, man. It's all out of hustle, guys. How are you guys doing the show today? Have you, yeah, because normally you film in a studio. Are you doing it again in the studio? What's happening?

No, we're doing it via Zoom. We all love a Zoom. I've been having Zooms every day and now I've got to do even more Zooms. It's great. What is, I mean great what is Zoom? I keep saying this it's a video boomer it's a video

how are we how are we like we've been in lockdown for four weeks and we have not had to do one Zoom how did you get through that? I'm like I feel like the Russian mafia owns Zoom and we're going to have to repay them

in about 20 years for this I don't know what it's just too good to be true you're filming TV shows on repay them in about 20 years for this. I don't know why. It's just too good to be true. You're filming TV shows on it. You're not even paying for the use of the platform. Well, I'm not paying for it. I think you would have bought it pretty big.

Oh, God. Anyway, this isn't an advertisement for Zoom. This is an advertisement for having to pay your TV. Brought to you by Zoom. We must have had to go over the 40-minute limit, though, to film the show. Yeah, I think you can pay for premium or something, right? Yeah, I think you pay for over the 40-minute limit. I think TVNZ would have sorted that out.

We'll wrap up Happy Bigger Pay attention a little bit early today because we're running out. We've got 30 seconds left of the meeting. We look forward to that. It's a great show. We look forward to that, being back on the TV tonight over Zoom. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I'm pumped.

Love your work, Mel Bray. So, hey, and you do a wonderful impersonation of looking like Jacinda Ardern as well. Oh, thank you very much. It's a talent that I don't know how long

it's going to last. I mean, any time I try and upload anything other than Jacinda-related content, I get sort of boos and please dress up as Jacinda again. So, look, maybe I'll put the makeup on for the show tonight.

Yeah, that's right. She's going to go as Jacinda Ardern tonight on Have You Been Paying Attention. If Jacinda's ever having a sick day, we could just wheel you out and you'll do a fantastic job. Yep. All right. I'll do it. Hey, Sam, nice chatting to you.

Have You Been Paying Attention? There you go. That's one of the ads. Jacinda on the radio there. We'll do that again after eight o'clock. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the radio there. We'll do that again after 8 o'clock. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now lockdown has been going for five weeks now

and Jono, you were saying there's some benefits. There are some benefits. We have the perfect excuse to get out of attending events that we didn't want to go to. My dad wanted me to MC his friend's country music awards thing at like the Onehunga Bowls Club or something.

And I mean, I'd come to you, I'd borrow your chaps and your spurs and your whips, hadn't I, for the event? Yeah, you had, you got it all ready to go. But thankfully I didn't have to attend because I couldn't think of anything worse. Those are the sort of things we want to know. What did you get out of doing?

I mean, some people just carried on, like David Clark, he just moved house. You know, he didn't let lockdown stop him from moving house. Even though he was the health minister and he probably should have been leading by example. I'm not going to, but other people went, no, hang just moved house. You know, he didn't let lockdown stop him from moving house. Even though he was the health minister and he probably should have been leading by example. But other people went, no, hang on, no. That's, you know, the lockdown needs to stop me from doing some things.

David's like, COVID, you're not the boss of me. I like that attitude. All right, let's head to the phones. What did it get you out of? Danielle, you're in Whangarei. What did lockdown help you out of? Morning, boys. Yeah, the boss

wanted me to do a sales presentation. Gave me two weeks to do it. Didn't do it. And then lockdown happened and I didn't have to do it.

Oh, and there's nothing to sell at the moment too, which is even better for you, Daniel. Exactly. Well, yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah,

silver linings we're looking for, right? The only bad news is if he's listening to this right now, he'll know you haven't finished the sales presentation. We all know he's listening to this right now, he'll know you haven't finished the sales presentation. We all know he's listening to Radio New Zealand.

Sarah's in Wellington. You're on the air, Sarah. How did lockdown help you? Well, I was meant to be helping a good friend move house, but I'll tell you this, I am very happy to be a witness here with Boxers because we are in Wellington and there are always

stairs involved. Was your friend David Clark by any chance? He wasn't the one moving house. Hey listen, it's not a good look if I do this, but Sarah, you can lug a few boxes. No one ever, when anyone ever says oh help you move, they don't mean it

and they never want you to say okay, that'd be great. No, too much fitness involved. Yeah. I mean, you hate moving your own stuff, let alone someone else's stuff. Yeah. All right, 0800 the hits. He's on the air.

He's in Tauranga. He's a man with a wonderful heart. Andrew, welcome. Yeah, guys. So I got out of going to my cousin's wedding. God, you're not a big fan. Was it a lot of travel? It was a whole weekend out, I imagine.

Got an admin and not a fan of that side of the family, to be honest. See? Yeah, now, Ben's trick, too, when you go to a wedding, try this next time. No one ever likes buying, no one ever likes helping someone move house, and no one ever likes buying a wedding present for someone. So what Ben does. That's my trick.

Look, I told you that someone could do it. I haven't done it. Ben buys a card. Get this, Andrew. He buys a card and writes, hope you enjoy this. Lots of love, Ben. And just chucks it on the pile of presents.

And then they assume that it's become detached from the actual present. No, I said you could do this. I haven't done it. He's definitely done it. I haven't gone to the trouble of putting a little bit of sellotape on top as well so it looks like it's come off something.

No, no, that's not what I've done. Hope you enjoy your brand new Lamborghini. Oh, must have come off the present there. All right, good on you, Andrew. You have a wonderful day, okay? Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Now, Juicy Rentals in Auckland, I don't know if you heard about this, they had 112 cars stolen from their rental lot just the other day. Police recovered about 50 of the cars, but there's still a whole lot of Juicy Rental cars that people grabbed. So not 112 people stormed the yard. You imagine there was a small group who went back. 14 people have been arrested. I don't know if that was all the people that stole the cars,

but the 112 cars were stolen from a lot. Did they hotwire them all? No, I think the keys might have been, well, the keys, the cars were open and the keys were somewhere in the place. Oh, someone's dropped a ball there. They weren't sure if they were on a hook. The cars were open and the keys were in the ignition.

I don't know if the keys were in the ignition. The keys were somewhere in the place, you know, and so, yeah, they kind of just took them and away they went. It's like that Nicolas Cage movie. What was that one? Where he stole all those fancy cars, except these are probably Toyota Corollas and Nissan Maximus. Gone in 60 seconds.

That's the one. Well, there was actually a nice story about a car being given away legitimately, and we're going to call South Canterbury now. Today we're going to some big news from a small town. We're going to South Canterbury today, Jono. That's right. This is a wonderful story of generosity through these trying times, Ben.

It is, actually. I don't think you'd ever do this for me, and I wouldn't do it for you. I was just thinking that. We've been good mates for a decade, and these people are neighbours in doing this thing. They're mates, but they're not like you and me. I would do it for you, but as long as we're filming it for social media and I got the publicity for being a nice guy. What's happened is two neighbours in South Canterbury,

the other one gave the other neighbour a car. He knew that his car was on its last legs. It was his birthday and he was like, here, have a car. What a gift. That's amazing. Great, we'll go through. Tony is the man who received the car.

A $7,000 Holden V6. He was gifted. And the guy doesn't want to even publicly be acknowledged like you would. You'd want to know. I want it on social media, Instagram. Get some followers on TikTok and stuff. Facebook as well. Put it on the Herald.

Hello? Tony? Yes? A bloody car! A bloody free car! Yeah? From your neighbour! That's right.

It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We're just reading about this lovely story. What a wonderful thing your neighbour did. Oh, it was amazing. Yeah, just stunning. Did you drop any hints like, hey, buddy, nice car, would like to drive that one day or anything like that?

Let's just say that I've drooled over virtually every single vehicle he's had up the drive. Just incredible. So it gives you a car, no strings attached, and I guess at the moment you can't really take it too far. No, I have been to the supermarket and back, and you know,

that's about it. I've driven from one side of the front of my house to the other side back, and, you know, that's about it. I've driven from one side of the front of my house to the other side of the house. You've been driving around your bubble. What was the, how did he do it? Was it like Oprah Winfrey? Was he like, you get a car, you get a car, or did he just come over casually with a set of car keys? No, my wife was talking to him across the back fence, and then she called me out. I came out, and next thing you just threw a set of car keys? No, my wife was talking to him across the back fence and then she called me

out. I came out and next thing you just threw a set of car keys at me. And said it's yours. You don't get more South Island than that, do you? No. What's going to happen now though when your neighbour goes away, he's going to be like can you take the bins out, feed the

cat, you're going to have to do a few favours now aren't you? I'm sure I can manage to do that for him, yeah. You've said here in the article, no strings attached. There are strings attached. Something's coming back for you, Tony, in about five years. Yeah, well, so far we have managed to pass him over some home baking, so, you know.

Jars of relish for the rest of eternity. Out of lockdown, it's been some wonderful stories, and yours is one of them. So congratulations on the car, and what an amazing thing you're... What an amazing person your neighbour is. Oh, he's stunning. Do you think we could even hear the car horn? Just take us out on a cheeky horn, Tony. Unfortunately, my phone won't reach.

Oh, you're attached to the phone. Yeah. I'll do it with your mouth. Oh, there. Beep. Beep, there we go. Oh, there're attached to the phone. Yeah. Well, I'll do it with your mouth. Oh, yeah. Beep. Beep. There we go. Oh, there we go.

Well, Tony, stay safe in your bubble and happy birthday and for the other day. Yeah, you too, guys. Have a great day. See you, buddy. Just like a chocolate milk shake,

only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. You're waking up this morning and waking up to the news the NRL returning into May, but sadly for Warriors fans, the first two

games count towards the reduced season. And they can't tackle each other. They've got to stay two metres apart the whole game. I don't know how that's going to work with social distancing but we'll find out. Because they're allowed to fly into Australia so Australia's going to relax their border controls for the Warriors. And I think they have to isolate

but they're allowed to isolate as a team because obviously it makes training very hard. So once they're there, are they there for the remainder of the season? I'm not sure. Can they come back and forth? I don't know exactly. That's going to be really tough on players. They've got families and wives and all sorts.

So, yeah, they're doing it tough, the Warriors, if that's the case. They've been doing it tough for a few years, the Warriors, haven't they, mate? I hate to stop. I'm a big fan of the Warriors. Anyway, let's do some Spy Entertainment news. Spy. Know what's up some Spy Entertainment news. It's the producer Juliette coming in with all the latest gossip and salacious gossip from the celebrity world.

So there's going to be another star-studded livestream event. Yes, I love a mass celebrity gathering. It really puts you in your place on the ladder. Wait until you hear the line-up. So we've got Oprah, Jennifer Garner, Julia Roberts, Alanis Morissette, George W. Bush, Charlie D'Amelio, and a bunch of other people. I thought you were just going, Oprah, George W. Bush, a TikTok star.

But they're massive, though. Probably more famous than Oprah and George W. Bush. Probably. So it's called The Call to Unite, and the aim is to provide some light in an anxious time. It's 24 hours. It's going to be 24 hours. It'll kick off this Saturday at midday New Zealand time,

and there'll be over 200 celebrities, frontline workers, and public figures. They've advertised it. There'll be stories, meditation, laughter, dancing, painting, poetry, a bunch of stuff to keep people sort of entertained. You know what? That screams that the organisers don't have a bloody clue what it's going to be. So they've just covered all bases.

Oh, it'll be a bunch of stuff. Oh, hypnotherapy, stock and share market updates, weather reports. Star signs. All of the above. Sax machine paper. Look at things around the room. Spray and wipe. Computer stuff.

We've got it all covered. So that's going to be streamed on Unite Us, their Facebook page, YouTube, and also Spotify will be uploading segments throughout the live stream if people want to, you know, tune in here and there. And in other news...

Am I... Because obviously it's raising money for COVID or is it not? I think... Where's all the money go that you donate to COVID? What are we giving to... Probably to the vaccine. Vaccine research.

And some go to the medical professions, you know, that obviously are doing amazing work around the world. Yeah. Good. I just like to know where my dollar's going

when I give hundreds of thousands to charities, I do. And Kobe Bryant, his last season playing for the Lakers was filmed. It was intended on being turned into a documentary similar to the last dance documentary on Michael Jordan.

So Kobe had a camera crew follow him around really closely and the team in 2015 and 2016 season. And the footage was at the editing stage when Kobe died. Apparently he pretty much had full creative control. Like he was fully amongst it when they were editing and was really involved in it. But obviously with the passing of him, there's

no word on whether they'll actually release it or what the ending of the documentary would be. Yeah, so that's been announced that that was all in progress. Have you watched the Jordan one? I've watched the first two episodes. Really good documentary. If you don't like basketball, I think it's a really fascinating watch. Well, it's just an insight into the competitive nature

of what it takes to be the world's best. Just shows no mercy. Just like attacking his teammates. Brutal. We can get a bit more of this round here. Producer Juliet, you can throw some slander towards Ben and me. Chop us down in a peg or two. For more spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Hey, you've got toothpaste slander towards Ben and me. Shop us down in Peggle 2. For more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz.

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Big week for New Zealand. Of course, takeaway stores back open. Do you know my wife? Before lockdown, she loves the dumpling store up the road from us. She went and got her last dumplings before lockdown and she told the guy, I'll miss you.

He said, I'll miss you too. Has she ever told you she's going to miss you? I was like, wow, this is a really touching moment with the dumpling guy. So what's going on here with the dumpling guy? She likes his dumplings. She likes the look of them dumplings. I'll miss you.

I was like, oh, okay. Well, we found some stuff around the office because there's no one in the building at the moment. Last week we gave away a 55-inch television. This week we've got a 55-inch television. This week we've got a 555-inch paddleboard. Jono and Ben's Lost and Found. This paddleboard is bigger

than a humpback whale. Oh, it's massive. If a humpback whale saw this thing in the ocean, it'd be no thank you. So if you want to win it, it's a pretty flash one. I don't know much about paddleboarding, but it looks flash.

It does, but... I don't want to talk down paddleboarding. It's fine. Aren't you just, like, standing on water? Are you all paddle boarding. It's fine. Aren't you just like standing on water? You're all kneeling. The balance is a lot harder than you think. But it just looks like a lot of admin to get the board to the beach.

And then you're just standing on water. No, but you're paddling. You get dim gains in your arms and stuff. But I could stand on the land. But not get buff and ripped and look, you know. Anyway. There's no chance of me getting buff and ripped. I've given up on that. Okay. Yeah, I've given up on life look, you know, anyway. No, man, there's no chance of me getting buff and ripped.

I've given up on that. Okay. Yeah, I've given up on life. You know this, Ben. I've eaten too many dumplings with your wife. All right, 0800, that hits the telephone number. You've got to answer five water-based questions in a row correctly, and you've got the paddleboard.

Jane, you're on the air. Sorry, Jono, sorry, Manawatu. Welcome. How are we, team? Oh, we're good. How's Palmy this morning, buddy? Oh, great place. Yeah, never changes, doeso, sorry, Manawatu. Welcome. How are we, team? Oh, we're good. How's Palmy this morning, buddy? Oh, great place. Yeah, never changes, does it, Palmy?

It hasn't changed since the 80s. I love it. I love Palmy. We spent a good two weeks in Palmy once, didn't we? Yeah, it was a lot of fun, actually. I'll never forget that time. It was a wonderful moment in our lives. Okay, five questions for this paddleboard.

Here we go, Jono. Question number one. H2O is the chemical formula for what? Water. Well done. Heo. Question number one. H2O is the chemical formula for what? Water. Well done. He's got one from one. What did TLC discourage you chase in their song? Water.

Falls. Oh! Water. Falls. Yes. Don't go chasing water. They put the words together a bit quicker in the song, but you got it right. Yeah, they might have, yeah.

Don't go chasing waterfalls. Which production company created The Little Mermaid? Disney. Yeah, we'll take Disney. Well done. Three from three. William Troubridge is famous for which sport? New Zealander William Troubridge.

Swimming? What do you reckon? No, it's not. It's free diving. Yeah, he's the world record holder for the guy who holds his breath the longest, basically. But technically he's swimming down, isn't he? Oh, okay.

No, we can't give it to you. We can't give it to you. You're not going to be standing up and or paddle boarding, I'm afraid, at the moment, Jono. That she is saying. Where were you going to do that anyway in Palmy? Probably the river. Why not?

I'm very deep, isn't I, Ron? Someone's backyard pool. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Battle the Hits. We've got Winston Peters joining us very shortly, but we are New Zealand's breakfast,

and we wanted to find out if all of New Zealand were listening to the show. Yeah, well, so far, and we keep saying this, so I don't know why we're persisting with it. We've made seven or eight phone calls and not one of them, not one of them

has been listening to the show. Well, maybe today's our day. Well, I don't, statistics would say probably not. Let's find out. Let's go through to the four square. Good morning, Coffee Culture. Eddington Annabelle speaking. Oh, Oh hi Annabelle, it's Gary McCormack here from Census New Zealand Hello

Just doing a quick on the spot survey about radio listening habits Okay If you were to listen to any of the below radio broadcasts, which one would you prefer listening to? Okay Option one, The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben Below radio broadcasts, which one would you prefer listening to? Okay. Option one, The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Option two, Jono and Ben on The Hits. Option three, The Hits with Jono and Ben. D, all of the above.

He's just got all of the above. Oh, there you go. We've got a winner. Are you enjoying listening to the show, are you? What's been your favourite part so far? Just go all of the above. Oh, there you go. We've got a winner. Are you enjoying listening to the show, are you? Yes. What's been your favourite part so far? The humour you guys bring in the morning. Oh, very generic sweeping statement.

I like the bit where they ring people on the spot and ask them what their favourite parts are. Well, sweep aside the fact that you haven't listened to the show. That's fine. We know you haven't, but you've been polite enough to lie to our faces. I'm so busy making coffee for everybody. Oh, how's it been?

Has it been busy again? Yes, it is. I'm frantic, actually. We opened the doors at 7, and we'd already had orders through the online system before we opened, so it's going well. Good for business. What's your specialty?

What are we whacking out there? Lots of coffee. Lots of coffee to go. Flat whites, lattes, cappers, you name it. It's all rolling out. Flat whites, lattes, cappers, out the door. They've all got to go. We'll let you get back to your coffee making.

You stay safe in your bubble. Thank you very much. Hey, good on you. Thank you. Now, Deputy Prime Minister, I think we just bullied that lady into saying she listens to the show. Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters, he joins us next. He's just phoned through.

Mr. Peters? Yes? You're on the radio, baby. Really? And he couldn't be more excited. I would have never guessed it. Ringing 0800 to the hits. We'll be back with the Deputy Prime Minister.

Very excited about talking to him next. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hips. We're very stoked to have on the phone right now the Deputy Prime Minister of New Zealand, the Right Honourable Winston Peters. How are you today? I'm very good, and yourself?

Oh, we're really well, Winston. What I like about you is, you know, spades are spade. And we offered, we said, we can pre-record this, we can work around your schedule, and you said, I don't do pre-recorded interviews,

only live. Well, the trouble is, I've had pre-recorded interviews, only live. Well, the trouble is I've had pre-records where we've had a row and the guy decided, well, those two points that might have been a bit too telling, he decided to eliminate them. You get stitched up in the edit, do you, mate?

Once bitten, twice shot. Well, Winston, how was things in lockdown in your bubble? Because I imagine you're probably used to working 72 hours a day, travelling around the world and New Zealand for your job. Well, actually, that's the most amazing thing. We're saving enormous amounts of money not having to travel. And you know who that's good for?

The taxpayer of New Zealand. The taxpayers are now mine 24-7. They're never out of it. Never always working for the taxpayer, Winston. Now, there was a photo of you on your property in Northland, and you were fishing in a lake, and there was a wonderful white horse that came straight out of a Disney movie right next to you.

Whose horse is that? My brother's horse. It's a horse called Duke, and we got him because when he was about six, he was out of control. A guy could invite him. He's a very opinionated horse. I mean, the horse would have been a politician. called Duke and we got him because when he was about six he was out of control the guy couldn't ride him he's a very opinionated horse I mean the horse would have been a politician, he knows

everything and he wouldn't be under control so we got him up there and decided well put him in the sand hills and see how he goes then and take a bit of the attitude out of him. But he's a great horse. It looks like a good one. Do you ride that horse bareback? I can imagine Winston shirtless

riding a horse through the hills like what's his name? Putin. I was going to say, he's got nothing on me. Winston Peters, a quick serious question. A lot of small businesses getting back this week, but do you think the New Zealand economy can recover from this?

Well, it'll recover and we'll do great if we take the lessons from it and never forget how important these lessons are. I made a speech yesterday about the fact that we need an economy with far greater autonomy for New Zealand, not dependent upon other markets as much as we were, or, for example, an economy where we grow things, we export things, we add value to things in our country. That's where the wealth is to be found, and we've learned some dramatic lessons. Globalisation and COVID-19 being seriously exposed for the shortcomings,

and a lot of countries are going to wake up real fast. We, our country, with enormous resources and great people, and we've proven that over the last five weeks of discipline, when a lot of people thought we couldn't do that, we've got great potential. Oh, gee, that was an impassioned speech. I'm like, let's go out there and buy New Zealand made! New Zealand!

Now, that's the thing, isn't it? You've got it. Now, you've got it. Of course New Zealand made. Why are we buying the stuff offshore when our own people can make them? That's what I've always said, Winston. You haven't said that once.

You just agreed with Winston Peters because he made a good point. Winston, in all seriousness, you've been in politics for 40 years and done so much for our country. Why do you keep going? I mean, you could be riding your horse. You could be fishing every day. What drives Winston Peters to keep going 40 years later? Well, I'm not just saying this is some sort of cliche.

The fact is you're in a very privileged position to be in politics, or to be in Cabinet. I mean, you sit in the seat of princes when you look at how lucky you are to have a say and to give direction and to put into politics and decision-making the lessons of life and the lessons of others that others have learned so that we don't repeat the same mistakes, so to speak.

So you're enormously privileged. Listen, so every time you feel down, go and get in front of the mirror, give yourself a good slap in the face and realise how lucky you are to be part of an exciting profession. And if I didn't think that, I'd have been out of it a long, long time ago.

What a good, what a great example. Maybe I need to go and look in the mirror and give my good a slap in my face. Slap yourself around a bit more. Slap in my big bald face. Now, Winston Peters, Jacinda has been doing a remarkable job, as well as Ashley Bloomfield, I'm sure you would agree. But the press conferences, something that we've noticed, and I know you're a big fan of journalists.

They're one of your favourite hobbies. They just shout questions at her, and I don't know how she deciphers what to answer. Have a listen to this. All right, thank you. Happy to take questions. Jessica, and then we'll come to Tyra. Do you have leeway to...

You can't trust New Zealanders to be responsible enough. It's just a lot of noise. How do you decipher who's talking? Well, the reality is that that's a sad development, and you're pointing out what it's like. And here's the fact. They don't respect their profession. And they need to slap themselves in the face

while looking in the mirror. Well, you know, they stand there in the shoes of the audience of millions who can't be there because they're working and keeping our country alive. And so they're their eyes and their ears. They're the fourth estate. And their job is to say, look, I'm in a lucky position. I'm here and I'm going to conduct my profession

with dignity and manners, not screaming out and shouting out and turning everything into some sort of personal 10-second victory. Well, speaking of which, Winston, we want to play a little game with you now. We're going to scream and shout questions at you, and you've got to try and figure out what the question is to answer, okay?

Producer Juliet, you're involved in this as well. Winston Peters, he's up at the podium. Winston Peters, have you injected Dettol yet? Yes, what day is it? Winston Peters, thank you for your time this morning. I know how busy you are running the country and we look forward

to chatting. That was the question I got. The media out there shouting, what day is it? And I was like, what are you doing here? You can get a calendar

for that. Winston, thank you for your time this morning. We appreciate it. Good luck, guys. Good luck to you. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Bringing up speed. Ben Boyce, dirty dark secret. We found out he's had a TikTok account during lockdown. He started that up, and I take exception to it. I don't think any growing adult should be on TikTok.

So I've given him an ultimatum. He needs 100,000 followers by May 11. This is not going to happen. Same day that Jacinda decides if we drop down to level 2. How many have you got now? Like 15,000. 15,000, yeah. Which is surprising when you look at the content I'm creating. It's not good. You showed me one where you were

dressed as a horse, but then you made your wife dress as a horse, but she was the back end of the horse with her hair as the tail. Yeah, she was head down, it was, yeah. This is the stuff we've been up to, getting up to over lockdown. And Carole Baskin from the Tiger King documentary, an interview with Joe Exotic's been remixed on TikTok, and everyone across the world is dancing to this. Carole Baskin.

Killed her husband, whacked him. Can't convince me that it didn't happen. So it's very catchy. Yeah, it is very catchy. Yeah. Even though the subject matter

is grim. Grim, yeah. Based on a very grim event that a fully grown man being fed to a fully grown tiger. But I can't stop shouting Carol Baskin. Do you find yourself doing that?

Not quite as much as you, but it is very catchy. It's in my head. It does get into your head, yeah. My neighbours must be like, he's't stop shouting, Carol Baskin! Do you find yourself doing that? Not quite as much as you, but it is very catchy. It's in my head. It does get into your head, yeah. My neighbours must be like, he's angry at some lady called Carol. And I record, my kids are caught on to it now too. And so I was hiding around the corner yesterday, and I was just shouting, Carol Baskin! And then they were finishing the song. I'm just going to yell

Carol Baskin, and the remainder of the household will finish the song. Carol Baskin! Kill that of the household will finish the song. Carol Baskin. Killed her husband and whacked him. Round number two. Carol Baskin. Killed her husband and whacked him. And number three.

Carol Baskin. Killed her husband and whacked him. How adorable is that, eh? The little kid singing that. Singing that. Warms the cockles of my heart. So based off that song, we took some audio from a conversation we've had on here, Ben.

Yeah. And remixed it into a TikTok dance. Now this was for your account and I gave you the mission yesterday to design a dance. To this, have a listen. Ben Boyce is a tight ass. Put coal in his butt,

he'd squeeze out diamonds. Ben Boyce is a tight ass. His money lending company's tight ass finance. Ben Boyce. That's the Ben Boyce dance. That's the remix.

So yeah, last night I had to come up with a dance to that. Because I'm trying to help you get 100,000 friends. I'm not a great dancer, but I have just put it on our Facebook, The Hits Breakfast, if you want to check out my dance, which you can dance along to. Johnny, you haven't seen it, so here you go.

Let me have a look at this. You're doing actions and putting things in your beside. And you're slapping your bottom. Doing an action of a duck there. And covering your mouth with the beep. Well done. That's a good dance. My daughter helped me choreograph it but refused to be in the video.

I will not be associated with this project. She probably doesn't even want me to say she choreographed it. Let's get that trending on the internet today. It's going to be the number one most searched thing on Google. Ben Boyce is a tired ass. If you want to check it out,

you can check it out right now. It is live on our Hits Breakfast Facebook page. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Business is back open and running. About 75% of the business economy apparently back up and running this week.

Good business stats there. I know. Halfway through that, I was like, did I make that up? I'm sure I heard that on a better radio station, but maybe I made it up. Who knows? Saw the forestry industries back to it. Saw that on the news last week. 75% of the forestry.

Yeah, so they tell me. So they tell me. This is the plug line if your business is back in business. You can advertise the fact on the show, but you used to work in a plug factory, didn't you? I spent a summer, yeah, working in a plug factory. Jeez, I tell you what, the longer he talks about it, the more you want to shove a part of your body in a plug socket. Because it was like electrical plugs.

Not the plugs for the bathtub, producer Juliet. They were electrical plugs. And basically you spend all day connecting two bits of, you know, electronic. I don't know what parts of the electricity. I just had to do it. Like a hundred of these things an hour. I was a bit worried when you said plugs, there are many different types of plugs.

What are you talking about here? The cream paid well and it was... I came out with some innovative ideas, innovative ideas to plug stuff up. Alright, 0800 the hits the telephone number, 10 second plug line, let's head to Rotorua. Rod!

Good morning. How are you Roddy? Roddyorua. Rod. Good morning. How are you, Roddy? Roddy's back. Thank you very much. Now, Rod, you've got 10 seconds to plug your business. Are you ready? I'm ready. Alright, away you go. Rotorua Jewellers, open today, safely, contactlessly. Get all your watch

batteries, straps, engraving and jewellery pairs done and check out our brand new website. It's up and running. Oh, that's good. That's up and running. E-commit. Oh, that's good. That's good. Hey, Rod. How's it going?

How did that sound? Pretty good? Oh, yeah, it's pretty good. I'll do it a bit post-analysis. You know, it's a good inflection on the words. I like the engravings up because we just got a kitten before lockdown and I wanted to get a tag engraved because, you know, when it goes outside. Not a problem, mate. Rod will do it.

Go visit Rod. You don't have to be contactless, though. You won't touch Rod. Hopefully one day we'll touch Rod. But you've touched our hearts. We've got couriers, mate. We can carry you a name tag. Oh, you're bloody good, aren't you, Rod?

Enjoy your day. Stay safe. And rotorua. You guys, too. Catch you later. Listen to this guy shamming free cat name tags on the radio. I wasn't trying to do that. It was a relatable story.

Dane, welcome. You're on the air. Yes, mate. Let's go. Dane is back. Dane's back. Dane, welcome. You're on the air. Yes, Dane, how's it going? Dane is back. Dane's back. Dane, you've got 10 seconds to advertise your business nationwide.

Away you go. Dane from supertire.co.nz. We've put a tyre shop in a van so we can come to you and you don't even need to be there. It's fully contactless and you can book and pay online at supertire.co.nz.

What? A tyre shop in a van? That's a great idea. I don't even need to be there. You just turn up and do stuff? That's a great idea. I don't even need to be there. You just turn up and do stuff. That's it, man. We don't even need access to your car. We don't need to get your keys.

Don't even need their permission. No, no, no. And then when you get home, your car's gone, and it's on sale on Trade Me. Oh, that's a great idea. What a great initiative in the current climate. Yeah, cool. Cheers.

Hey, good on you, Dane. Well done. Let's go to one more. Mike, welcome. Yeah, you got to go. Come here. Mike, he's back. Mike's back. He's got tips. Hey, good on you, Dane. Well done. Let's go to one more. Mike, welcome. Yeah, guys, how are you? Mike, he's back. Mike's back. He's got this.

We're open on a contactless manner and ready to roll. We've got contactless sales, contactless servicing. All procedures are in place. Ready to go. I don't know what he does. He just started the ad. What do you do? What do we do?

We're a car dealership in Tarang with 11 brands across the whole group. We employ about 147 people. Oh, there you go. And he is selling cars. You don't even have to see him, touch him. You don't even have to touch the car. So how can you see the cars? Are they online?

Everything is online. So our website is fully up to date. And so we can deliver nationwide as well. Everything in a full contactless manner and ready to roll. Well, Farmer Auto Village, and I guarantee they're not turning back the odometers there. No, they won't be. Absolutely not. I put my name to it.

I put my name to it. Jono Pryor says shop Farm Auto Village. I don't know if that's a great endorsement. And we'll take one more 23-years-old Bronte. Bronte's back. Bronte's back. She's back in business this week. What do you want to advertise?

Take it away. French Bakery, Monday to Saturday, 8 till 4. Click and collect at bakeryfactoryshop.co.nz or contact us. Take away coffees and goods. Oh, good. Was it busy yesterday? Yeah.

Yeah, it was very busy yesterday. Hocking off the croissants. Heaps of croissants. We've got panini, sandwiches. We had it all all made to order. I saw a cafe that a friend went to, they had like a sort of stick system that brought out the coffee.

I saw that online. No, we've got our good old screen protectors. Yeah, well, because their one was kind of slopping all over the place. It's like a stick nudging a coffee. They kind of lost half of the coffee as they sort of put it out to them. But it was a great innovation.

You'd be surprised how many people bring cash, though. You know, contactless all the way I love it that's now the tagline fully contactless won't touch you won't even think about touching you you don't even think

about touching us see us now well thank you for advertising your business nationwide on our show not a morning person sadly

neither of these two it's Jono and Ben on the hits Jono I showed you something on social media and now you've turned it into a game. Around me. Is it normal? And Ben's photo of what he

showed me is up now on our social media and we can have a poll. Is it normal? And I say, no, you're not meant to have three of those. No, what I showed you was something that's doing the rounds. It's basically, it's love lockdown lines. Oh, that one. It's sort of lines that you can say to your partner

or your husband, your wife, whatever that, you know, showing them how much you love them in a sort of like a pickup line, sort of sexy way. That's right. And overnight I was granted printer privileges here at NZME. And I've printed out some of the better ones. And I want you right now to call your wife, Amanda.

This wasn't what I wanted to do with it. I wanted people right now to call your wife Amanda. This wasn't what I wanted to do with it. I wanted people to add their own love lockdown lines. He was like everyone can call up with their own pick up lines but you can try these out on your relationship. I love voice ringing. No time to back out of this. So I'm going to hold the pick up lines up on a

piece of paper. You've got to read them out to her as you go. Try and continue the conversation as normal. Yeah. Hi Amanda speaking. Hey, how's it going? Good, thank you. Hey, are you looking for a naughty boy? Because I only washed my hands for 19 seconds.

What's wrong with you? Well, Amanda, without you my life is as empty as a supermarket shelf because as I always say you can't spell quarantine without U-R-A-Q-T how funny is you being an agent

it's thanks to the internet. It's thanks to the internet. Finish it off strong, Jono. Last one. Oh, no. It's not hand... What? Hey, a little tip.

When you're doing sexy pick-up lines, try and pretend like you're not reading them. Are you sorry? And go, what? I didn't understand that one. Oh, no, it's not. It's not. It's true. Deliver it with confidence.

Oh, it's not a hand sanitiser in my pocket, if you know what I mean. Yeah, that one without the stumbling beforehand. Yeah. He's talking about his car keys. I'll talk to you later. There was no winners there. Okay.

You had me laughing at the beginning, though. Yeah, I lost. Then we lost. Mate, no live feedback. Hey, just say you enjoyed it had me laughing at the beginning, though. Yeah, I lost. Then we lost. Mate, no live feedback. Hey, just say you enjoyed it all the way from the beginning to end. You had me at the beginning, then you lost me. You what? You just stayed on out of politeness?

Love you, Amanda. Bye. Bye. Hey, Amanda. I think you're meant to say the love you bit. Yeah, she hung up. Not me. Okay, well, that wasn't how I saw that one working.

Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Can we just say before the nine o'clock hour, happy birthday to Lily Bruce, five years old today and Kai Koda. Oh, happy birthday, Lily. You know, just see pop up on my TMZ alerts, Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik are going to have a baby. Really?

That's going to be a hot baby. He can't say hot baby, but they're good-looking people. He can never describe a baby as hot. Please never say that's going to be a hot baby. When it gets older, it's going to be hot, isn't it? No matter what it's... Good genes. Good genes.

Yeah, that's a better way of saying it. But sometimes when good genes match with good genes, sometimes they can have an ergo. Cancel it out. Okay, anyway, enough talk out of you. It's what happened to my parents. Very hot people, and look at me. We want to give someone an opportunity to say thanks at the moment

because a lot of people can't catch up with family and friends, or maybe someone's helping you out in your life and you want to reward them on the radio by just saying, hey, thank you. Hit the music. Thank you very much for your kind donation. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for your kind donation.

Actually, in hindsight, I said get that song, but it makes no sense. We might come up with a better thank you song tomorrow. It's John O'Bien's Thanksgiving. We'll leave on one more, one call. Rachel, you're in Nelson. Hello, how are you guys? We're doing well, Rach. How's Nelson this morning?

It's beautiful, thanks. Yeah, sunshine capital of New Zealand. Although there was some discrepancy over that. Oh, was there? Yeah, I think someone else was like, no, no, no, we have more sunshine, and then Alison's like, no, we do. And then we all realise there's probably bigger problems in the world, but Rachel, who do you want to thank?

I would like to thank my partner Ryan. He was actually due to go back to Hawaii, but it's a lockdown. He ended up staying here and it's just been so wonderful to spend extra time with him, and he's helping me look after mum and dad. Oh, jeez. Is he Hawaiian?

He is. Producer Juju's making that thing with your hands when you're too hot, you know? Yeah, he just sounds hot, hey? He does. Describe him to me. Describe him to me in detail. Oh, very tanned. Yeahcribe him to me. Describe him to me in detail.

Very tanned. He's beautiful. Abdominals. I bet he's chilled, like kind of Jack Johnson, like a chilled. Nothing worries him. He's like, yeah, I'll help out with your parents. I'll stay in New Zealand. It's all good. Yeah, and he's a musician. She's dating

Jesus. Wow, we were speechless. That's how that works. You want to thank Hot Ryan from Hawaii, and I want to thank him for being hot as well. You have a great day. Stay safe in your bubble, alright? Thanks, guys. You too.

Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Good morning, class. Quiet, please. Quiet, guys. You too. You start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Good morning, class. Quiet, please. Quiet, please. Quiet! I said shut your pie holes! Apologies, that really went from zero to a hundred. Welcome to Jono and Ben's homeschool, a renegade, unsanctioned educational faculty

fully supported by the Ministry of Education in no way at all. Now, tuck in your socks and pull up your shirts. I'm pretty sure that's how that goes. Please stand and welcome your teachers with literally no teaching qualifications whatsoever, Mr. Pryor and Mr. Boyce. Welcome along, class. This is Jono and Ben's homeschooling between 9 and 10.

We like to play some fun wee games from our bubble to your bubble, and you could win, thanks to Disney+, a year's subscription. Stark, Skywalker, Simpsons, all streaming now. Start your free trial, a seven-day trial, at DisneyPlus.com. Terms apply. I looked on it last night.

So much stuff to watch. Oh, it's awesome, mate. I mean, you could watch three lifetimes where I could grow old, die, get born again, and start watching Disney+, again, and I still wouldn't get through it all. Just keep going. Yeah, mainly because of thanks to my Alzheimer's and my old age, I probably forgot

what I was watching in the latter part of my life. Okay, what we're going to do is take a Star Pupil 0800 the hits. If you are still on at the end of our classes, there's four to get through. We have English, History, Music, and then the Speech at the end. If you're still on at the end, you've got the

subscription. Titarangi is his hometown. Marcus, welcome. Good morning. How are you all? We're doing well. How's your bubble? Pretty good. We're surviving. Good. Well, you stick around. You're our star pupil so far. You'll be our star pupil at the end of the hour. Before the

end of the hour, we're going to have a celebrity guest. Here's your first clue. Hey, Jono and Ben. My first encounter with a celebrity was when I was five years old. I met Brooke Shields and she signed my hat. Someone's gone to the trouble of putting on a convincing accent as well. It wasn't me. This is the person's legitimate sounding voice that we've changed.

Why would you even say that? Well, because all the other ones have been New Zealand voices that have been. So a bit of effort's gone into today's one. We'll find out who that person is joining us before 10 o'clock. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. History. They say it never

repeats. Unless this bit features in a replay form at a later date. So I'm going to hold up some cards to Jono of some famous people. Normally they're in the entertainment industry, but not necessarily. Yeah, not important historical figures. No, just people you would know. And you have 60 seconds to describe six people to our caller, our star pupil,

to see if they can get all six correct. And our SP, as we like to call him, the star pupes, Marcus. Welcome back. Oh, good day. Good morning. Playing for his daughters, Fern and Willow. A lot of pressure there from the kids. What are they saying, Marcus? Getting inside your head?

Yeah, yeah, they're pestering me. They've got me focused. They've got signs up and everything, yeah. Yeah, they're like, come on, Dad. Yeah, yeah. We'll love you more if you win this. Dizzy Plus subscription could be all yours. You can pass if you don't know.

You've just got to get six and 60 seconds. Okay. All right, here we go. He seems to get older, but he has girlfriends that stay the same age. He starred in the Titanic, Basketball Diaries. Oh, what's his name? Leo? Yep, that'll do.

She has very short blonde hair. A lot of people say she's a bit nasty behind the scenes. Married to Portia. Talk show host. Talk show host. Thank you, Ben. Pass, pass. Pass, okay.

She was in Pretty Woman. She's been in... Julia Roberts. Well done. She had a rather big chest in the 90s. Married Tommy Lee, the drummer for Motley Crue. Baywatch. Oh, what's her name?

Pamela Anderson. There we go. He's had a check at history with cigar usage. Former president. Oh. He was married to Hillary Clinton. Oh, Bill. He reads the News Hub News.

Used to have brown hair, now have a salty grey look, looks very distinguished. Good evening, I'm Mike McRobert. Well done. Last one. He's on Family Guy. Is it Family Guy? Yeah, he's Family Guy. The dad on Family Guy. Peter Griffin. Yes! He got there! He got there! Just as the school bell rang.

Well done. Well done. You are still currently our star pupil. Your kids still love you at this stage, Marcus. Let's go, Dad! Woo!

Let's go, Dad! All right. Stick around, Marcus. We've got an English class with you next. Well done, my friend. We'll be back very shortly. Wake up full of shame.

Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's time for English. Fun fact, English is actually Jono and Ben's second language. Now, thanks to Disney+, you can win that for a year. You can also get a seven-day free trial. If you don't have it, just head to disneyplus.com, terms apply.

I love those free trials, eh? And then you always cut off after. Not with Disney+, though. You continue it on. Thank you. It's a wonderful service there. But a lot of the times, you just get to the end of the free trial. You've watched what you need to watch. You're like Disney Plus, so you continue it on. Thank you. It's a wonderful service there. But yeah, a lot of the times you just get to the end of the free trial.

You've watched what you need to watch. Yeah, like I've got a bunch of shows. What was the one you were telling me about with Jennifer Anderson? Oh, that was the Apple one it was on. Yeah, you're like, just sign up for the thing and you can just watch it.

I had to watch the free trial. I was on a frenzy to try and get it all watched before my seven days were up. It puts a lot of pressure on your week. I was just like, we've got to watch four episodes tonight. Marcus, he's back.

He's our star pupil. Well breezed through the history class, Marcus. How's your England? Oh, not too good. Okay, not too good. He's playing for Fern and Willow, his wonderful children. I assume they're wonderful. You always just say that about kids, don't you?

Yeah, you can say that if you like, but, you know. You know the reality, Marcus. All right, Marcus, we're basically going to read you out a word and then some meanings to what the word could be. One of them is true. The other two are totally made up. So the word is gasconade. Does this mean when you give twice the recommended fizz

on your soda stream machine? Does it mean extravagant boasting? Or is it a new type of petrol made from fermented lemons? I'm going to go for B, the boasting. Well done, well done. He's correct. Oh, wrong one. There you go. Oh Jesus, is he not correct? You really flip-flopped that one, didn't you?

Sorry for freaking you out, Marcus. Freaked me out as well. And the next word is blaviscite. Does this mean a person who sends Snapchat selfies while sipping cheap wine while in a bubble bath? Is it an inflatable kite? Or is it a person who talks at great length without making much sense?

OMG, I have no idea. I'm going to go for C. Oh, well done. Marcus, OMG, all right. Well done. You're still the star pupil. You've got to get through music class next. Uh-oh. That's the sound of a confident man oh we're back yeah no of course if marcus gets one wrong you

could take over and be our star pupil and take that disney plus description off him and his kids if you want to be savage about it but we have a celebrity guest joining us before 10 o'clock here's your next clue hi guys although i'm happily, I have a massive crush on Johnny Depp. Sounds like Meghan Markle. Meghan Markle, doesn't it? Really? Yeah, to me. The voice does.

By the clues of the voice. We'll find out if that's the person joining us before 10 o'clock. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I was just telling Ben off here. I was sharing with the live stream too. We're on Facebook Live right now. The hits breakfast if you want to go and watch inane banter for an hour. It's quite fun. We play the delay game.

There's a 15 second delay we notice from when we talk to when the computer feed comes through. So we tell nasty secrets about each other and then we have to wait 15 seconds to hear it. But I was saying, on Fortnite over the weekend my son was playing Fortnite and Travis Scott, the rapper, did a concert on Fortnite. So he was animated

and then all the Fortnite players could climb up his legs and into his genitals and things like that if you wanted to. You had the option. But I was thinking, jeez, we're only a year or two away from a hologram in your lounge, aren't you? Oh, so you can watch a concert at home? Oh, you'll have Blim and Beyonce doing bootylicious

on your lounge. Yeah, because they do holograms at concerts, don't they? Yeah, why not? Maybe that's the future. It could be a hologram radio show on your lounge. Yeah, because they do holograms of concerts, don't they? Yeah, why not? Maybe that's the future. Okay. It could be a hologram radio show in your bedroom. We could be sitting on your bed right now. That's creepy.

All right, let's get to our next game. All right, class, time to shove a slobbery, unhygienic recorder in your mouth. It's music. Now, thanks to Disney+, we got a year to give away Aladdin Avengers Avatar, all streaming now at Disney+.com. Wonderful set of abs, Aladdin, didn't he?

Oh, yeah, it was ripped. It's set of abs Aladdin didn't he? Oh yeah he was ripped he had to wear a shirt underneath the waistcoat He was almost like a male stripper wasn't he Aladdin? Yeah

He was just missing the bow tie Anyway we've got Marcus he's our star pupil made it safely through our English class and history class Marcus

playing for Fern and Willow his daughters the pressure it just gets more and more doesn't it mate? Oh I feel really under pressure now. Okay, so you need to complete the lyrics. We're going to play a song.

We're going to stop it. And you've got to carry it on. Uh-oh. Here we go. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. He's been saying uh-oh for the last five minutes. Back yourself, Marcus.

You can do this. Come on, kids. Hang on. You're an all-star. Get your game on. Go play. Oh, the kids. Well done. Go play. The kids said that was it. Yeah, it was. Hey, now you're all-star. Get your game on. Go play. Oh, the kids, well done.

Go play, the kids said that's it. Yeah, it was. Hey, now you're all stuck at your game on. Go play. Smash Mouth, you got one from three. Here's your next one. It's from Lizzo. I do my hair, Tom.

You check my nails. Baby, how you doing? Feeling good as hell. Feeling good as hell. I'm doing really well with the kids. Yeah. Have you got Lizzo staying in Tuturangi with you? I've got two that think they'd like to be.

I don't know. Lizzo's. Yeah, well, that's great. Okay, and here's your last one from the Foo Fighters, Learn to Fly. Look at the time trial. Make my way back home. Learn to fly.

Which is the name of the song. Yeah, we all knew that. Yeah, well done. I know, I know. Well, you keep going, oh, no. Well done, Marcus. You're through name of the song. Yeah, we all knew that. Yeah, well done. I know, I know. While you keep going, oh no. Well done, Marcus. You're through to our next round. You are one round away from taking home that Disney Plus subscription.

You've got to come up with a speech next on the spot. But it could all end so abruptly. Uh-oh. Okay. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. He's been panicked this whole time. We're back with Marcus in three minutes.

Don't forget our celebrity guests joining us before 10 o'clock. Who's it going to be? Here's your next clue. Hey team, I have worked at Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Wendy's, and a gas station.

Ooh. I don't know who this is. Name four places that every New Zealander visited yesterday. Yeah, we'll find out who it is before 10 o'clock. Like starting your day

with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The school's back open again today, but only 6% of the kids are back at school, which is a good thing because they're saying if you can, keep the kids at home. So that's why we're doing our version of homeschooling. It'll be like at school, eh?

Those closing weeks when you head into Christmas when you end up like stacking the desk and watching a Tom Hanks movie or something that the teacher puts on. And also hard, I reckon, for the teachers because they've obviously got people in the class, but also they're having to do these online classes as well. Yeah, and that'll teacher puts on. And also hard, I reckon, for the teachers because they've obviously got people in the class, but also they're having to do these online classes as well. Yeah, and they'll all be multiple ages.

Because I imagine you're not going to get the full teaching staff on. No, you're right. Yeah, yeah. And so you're probably teaching a wide range. Hey, listen, I'm sure the Ministry of Education's got this covered. I don't know why I'm pretending to get involved. I'm like Donald Trump saying, let's all inject household cleaning products. We just need to stop talking now

because let's just go to our next class. All right, everybody, shut up and listen to today's School Ducks. We have our last subject for you now, the Disney Plus year subscription up for grabs after this. Marcus, our star pupil, he has been here since the beginning of class. He's worked his way through seamlessly without missing one question through three classes. This is your final hurdle Okay Marcus

Okay Fern and Willow The young ones Yeah We love you Oh I'd say There was some propaganda We got them to say

Just to make us seem A little more likeable Or they could have been Saying it to their dad But John I love how you thought It was about you John's like thank you kids I get that a lot

I've just done all the good work To try and make us seem more likeable Okay Marcus Thank you, kids. I get that a lot. I've just done all the good work. Try and make us seem more likeable. Okay, Marcus. 30 seconds. You need to make your valedictorian speech without saying the words um or ah on the topic of the interesting content on Marcus's internet search history.

Your timer starts now. I would like to take this chance to tell you all about my awesome internet history. It's not that awesome, unfortunately, because the kids are on the internet all the time. So they are on Netflix, YouTube, TikTok.

I go on Wikipedia, looking up boring things, as dads do. Sometimes I go on Netflix to look at some of my films. Not very often, though. I check my Facebook, I chat online, I look at some of my films. Not very often, no. I check my Facebook. I chat online. I do more research for my own boring interests. But unfortunately, my...

Oh, well done. Well done. I didn't know how deep into the history we were going to get there, Marcus. Well done, Marcus. You have won for your family a year's worth of Disney+. Thank you, gentlemen. Bye. Thank you.

We love you too, kids. Did they say they love us yet? I don't know. Well done, guys. I listen to you every morning. Oh, well, thank you very much. Hey, thank you guys so much for listening, and I hope you guys are safe in your bubble,

and I hope you get back to school soon. Hey, thanks for everything. That's been great fun. Well done, Marcus. You're a champ. Well done. You got Disney Plus for a year, and stick around because the winning doesn't stop there.

We're going to play five-second rule. Should we do that next? Let's do it. We'll be playing this game online. Sorry, I was just taking a drink of carbonated, lightly carbonated water there. It's like the full carbon. It gets gassy.

Yeah, a little bloaty. We're playing this game on Facebook Live with the audience. Five-second rule. It is fun. Basically, I'll give an example now. Okay, Jono. And then we'll see if people want to play it on 0800THIS. Okay, Jono, you've got five seconds to name three talk show hosts.

Ellen DeGeneres, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon. That's how it works. If you can get three cards right in a row, you'll take home this game thanks to Planet Fun. It's a lot of fun. The five-second rule is next. Don't forget our celebrity guest before 10 o'clock. Here's your next clue.

Hey, Jono and Ben. My first steps in the music industry were with an R&B band, Basic Instinct, which didn't last long, and then another R&B band called Choice. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Okay, kids, it's time for the five-second rule. Take that out of your mouth, Jono.

It's not that five-second rule. It's a fun wee game we've been playing on our Facebook Live. If you want to head to the hits breakfast, you can win a copy of this there as well. It's a five-second rule thanks to Planet Fun. It's a board game, and've been playing on our Facebook Live. If you want to head to the Hits Breakfast, you can win a copy of this there as well. It's a five-second rule. Thanks to Planet Fun. It's a board game, and you just have five seconds to answer.

List off three things on the card. For example, Jono, I am going to give you one. Name three things on the McDonald's menu. Oh, chips, burgers, ice creams. Well done. Okay. That's one card. You get three cards in a row, you get the board game.

I'm going to give you one. Nay. Okay, sure. I'm quite flustered as you can see trying to get him anyway. Ben's dropping cards. The game's flying everywhere. His jacket's...

Sure, sure. Give me one. He looks like a confused magician with the cards falling everywhere. I see the disheveled TV host on the chase, they go, oh, sorry, guys. Give me a second.

He's a little frazzled. Okay. Ten seconds to name three of your favourite R. Kelly songs. Go. Oh, no. No. Why are you letting the timer go? You're not playing the game.

I'm not even going down that road. I Believe I Can Fly? Yeah, yeah. Like Ignition in Gotham City. All right, there you go. Okay, we're going to go to the callers right now. She is in Auckland. Ella, welcome.

Hi, how's it going? Oh, we're doing well, Ella. How are you? What are you doing? How's life? What's your Air Force pin? What was that? A barrage of questions there.

Okay, Ella, these are the important questions you need to answer. We're going to give you five seconds to list off three pizza ingredients. Salami, cheese and tomato paste. Well done. Next one. We're going to the next card. You have to tell me three planets. Three planets.

Jupiter, Earth, Mars. Well done. She's so good. And your final one for the five-second rule game. If you get this, you win it. You won it. Name three sports where jumping is involved. I jump, triple jump, and hurdling.

Oh, my God. Do we have a brain scientist on the phone right now? I have a feeling that... Producer Juliette here. I'm feeling like this is my friend. Is this Ella? How's it going? Oh, my God.

Is she a brain scientist? Is Jo Jo? Is she a brain scientist? Is Josie a brain scientist? Yeah, pretty much. Well done. What did I make? Can I just pull? This is not a forum for you to bloody get your shoddy mates to phone up,

Producer Julian. She's not shoddy. When all these shoddy brides are shoddy. Just have a shoddy catch up on our shoddy show. She watches our live stream every day. Oh, good on you, Ella. Thank you. And well done.

You've won the five-second rule, matey. It's a lot of fun. Thanks, guys. If you want to head over to our Facebook page, The Hits Breakfast, you can win another copy. We're playing those in the comments section. And next, which one of Producer Juliet's friends will call up next?

We've got a big celebrity guest. Maybe it's Producer Juliet's... Flatmate. Yeah, maybe it is. Do you want to play the next clue? Yeah, we'll play it. Hi, guys. My birth name is Alicia Beth Moore,

but the name I go by now comes from the movie Reservoir Dogs. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now wrapping up our homeschool hour, 9.53 the time. It is New Zealand's breakfast, and we have had some wonderful New Zealanders on the show this morning. Some better than others, let's be honest. Had a couple of duds.

We were probably the duds, to be honest. We were the two duds. We caught with a... Sorry. Speaking. I think I just had a stroke. And you wonder why we're the duds. It's because my radio announcing friend here can't finish the sentence. Sorry, guys. Anyway, we did find someone today that

was listening. We like to ring up people at random and see if they're listening and we... Well, were they listening? You be the judge. Good morning, Coffee Culture. Eddington Annabelle speaking. Oh, hi Annabelle. It's Gary McCormick here from Census New Zealand. Hello. Just doing a quick on-the-spot survey about

radio listening habits. Okay. If you were to listen to any of the below radio broadcasts, which one would you prefer listening to? Okay. Option one, The Hits Breakfast with Jono and Ben. Option two, Jono and Ben

on The Hits. Option three, The Hits with Jono and Ben. D, all of the above. He. D, all of the above. It's just got all of the above. Oh, there you go. We've got a winner. Are you enjoying listening to the show, are you?

Yes. What's been your favourite part so far? The humour you guys bring in the morning. Oh, a very generic sweeping statement. I like the bit where they ring people on the spot and ask them what their favourite parts are. Well, sweep aside the fact that you haven't listened to the show. That's fine.

We know you haven't, but you've been polite enough to lie to our faces. I am so busy making coffee for everybody. Oh, how's it been? Has it been busy again? Yes, it is. I'm frantic, actually. We opened the doors at seven

and we'd already had orders through the online system before we opened, so it's going well. Good for business. What's your specialty? What are we whacking out there? Lots of coffee. Lots of coffee to go. Flat whites, lattes, cappers, you name it.

It's all rolling out. Flat whites, lattes, cappers, out the door. They've all got to go. We'll let you get back to your coffee making. You stay safe in your bubble. Thank you very much. Getting listeners one by one on this show, aren't we? Bullying them into it.

Now, before we go, we said we had a big celebrity guest. We gave out clues. Five years old, they met Brooke Shields. Had a crush on Johnny Depp. Yeah, worked at a pizza hut, McDonald's, Wendy's, and a gas station. Was in an R&B band before becoming famous. Joining us on the phone right now. Very excited.

Via Zoom, actually. Pink, thanks so much for accepting our meeting invitation. You're incredible. Thank you for meeting with me. No worries, Pink. Unfortunately, you wouldn't read about it. Oh, no. It happened again.

It has. This interview slot needs to change. We've run out of time. We'll have to resume you next week. We'll get Producer Juliet to send out another invite, and hopefully we can reconvene. We really should do this earlier in the homeschool hour, but it's quite fun.

I did say, why not about 7.30, but you're like, no, no, we'll stick with this two minutes to 10 thing, even though we have to wrap the show up. Anyway, thank you so much for joining us today. We'll be back tomorrow from six o'clock. We'll catch you guys then. Stay safe, stay sanitised.

Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from six on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.