Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - April 30 - Bree Tomasel, Zoom Meetings, What Did Your Dog Eat In Lockdown?

Episode Date: April 30, 2020

A list of items gifted to Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has been releasedThe Rude Awakening GameJono on his kids' home-school projects Big News Small Town10 Second Business PlugThe Hits - Censored SongsSpyLost & FoundKim Crossman called inWhat did your dog eat in lockdown?Zoom meetings...Important DatesJono & Ben's Home School Day #8See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome along to New Zealand's breakfast. It is indeed, and New Zealand's Prime Minister is Jacinda Ardern, and she has to, I think every Prime Minister has to do this, every year they have to make public the amount of free gifts they've received over the past 12 months. Hashtag gifts. Hashtag gifts. Hashtag gifts. If she was on Instagram, she'd be hashtag giving up a storm.

Which is fair enough. I mean, you don't, you know, it's good on her for getting this sort of stuff. It's like she wants to go to the All Blacks game. Of course she's going to get given free tickets. You get given free movie tickets. You have to post it on Instagram. Hashtag gift. We have to audit Ben's free stuff he's got over the last 12 months as well.

She got Time Magazine subscription because she was on the cover for that. She got a lifetime Time Magazine subscription. Which is like a magazine every six months. You think you get paid or something. That's what I was just... Oh, you got a subscription. And magazines are going to be around forever. She got All Blacks tickets, Warriors tickets.

She got tickets to Elton John. She got tickets to U2 as well. Oh, thanks, Bono, but no thanks. Speaking of Bono, his coronavirus song. You guys hear that? He wrote a song and his heart was in the right place, but have a listen. Yes, I don't know you.

No, I didn't think I didn't care. That song makes me want to catch coronavirus. So I don't have to hear that song again. You can't say that. Hey, next on the show. So that's worse than the pandemic. No. It's hard. No, stop.

Stop playing it. No, let's play the whole thing. No. I heard they're playing it on ZB, and I was like, jeez, they are playing start to finish all three and a half minutes of this. Yeah, I thought it was just some guy giving it a bash, you know, like on a YouTube channel. And I was like, oh, that's Bono.

Okay. Does Bono have people around him who can tell him, mate, I don't know if I'd post that. He's just got a whole bunch of yes men. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. If you're waking up this morning, there was a massive explosion in West Auckland,

a huge fireball. It sounds like it took place in a Newland wreckers yard and about a dozen cars have been destroyed and heaps of residents around got woken up by the huge explosion. Yeah, I mean, producer Heidi just sent the photo through. Gee whiz. I think, thankfully, from what I can gather,

no one was hurt or injured. It was just the cars that obviously blew up. But, jeez, yeah. Man. What's that? Oh, no. Shut up. Now what?

Oh, it's Jono and Ben's rude awakening. Did you like my... Man. Did you like that? I had nothing else to say. It was like we both took a moment to reflect on the loss of the cars or something. You know, like it was... Rest in peace to the cars and our thoughts and the friends and family of all those vehicles.

What a way to go. Now we want to wake up some people this morning because we are awake and that's what we like to do. It's called the Read Awake. Are we? Because I don't know, we have a half-assed conversation about an explosion just then. You're right.

If you want to win a $40 Hell pizza voucher, thanks very much to them. The gates of Hell open again from Tuesday. They were open at hell.co.nz. Hey, we're going to head to the Garden City Christchurch. Ewan, what's it like waking up there this morning, buddy? She's pretty fresh this morning, actually, yeah. Pretty cold.

Oh, yeah. My parents, they live in St. Albans and one of their favourite hobbies is phoning me up and telling me what the weather's like in Christchurch. How amazing it is. How amazing. It's a wonderful city, Christchurch. It is a great city, yeah. It is. Been through some stuff.

Jeez, the stuff you guys have been through. Yeah, we sure have. Yeah. Resilient. Resilient bunch, those Cantabs. All right, we're going to

rudely, abruptly wake someone up in your life. Who are we calling you in? Going to ring Jack, my son. It's his 15th birthday today. Oh, 15th. Yeah.

He's in Auckland. Oh, he's in Auckland? Okay. When was the last time you saw Jack? Oh, a little while Yeah. He's in Auckland. Oh, he's in Auckland? Okay. When was the last time you saw Jack? Oh, a little while ago. It'd be Christmas holiday. Christmas holiday, okay.

And first thing we're going to do since then is wake him up from a slumber. A teenager too. A teenage slumber. This is 7 o'clock in the morning

for a teenager who's just waking him up at like 3 in the morning. Yeah. Probably enjoying the lockdown. Oh, hello. Hello. Jack. Jack. It's John Owen being in the morning. Yeah. Probably enjoying the lockdown. Oh, hello. Hello.

Jack. Jack. It's John Owen being on the hits. You're on the radio. Oh, okay. Hey, bro. Happy birthday from your dad and from us and now it's time for you to try and win

some Hell Pizza vouchers with a quiz. Hit the music, producer Juliet. You already have. It's already there, mate. Here's your first question, Ewan. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern used to work where? A, the National Party headquarters, B, a fish and chip shop in Morrinsville,

or C, at the mechanics? Who's got after it, Jack or me? Jack does. Yeah. Fish and chip shop. Oh, fish and chip shop. Yeah, well done, Jack. He's slowly waking up.

Gore in Southland has a statue of what in the centre of town? A, a giant soy latte from Auckland. He's already said fish, mate. He's got it. Oh, did you get it already, Jack? Well done. You didn't even have time for your gag answers. New Zealand artist Benny has released a song that is currently blowing up on TikTok.

What is the name of that song? Is it A, Glitter, B, Litter, or C, Bitter? Jack? Jack? Has he gone back to sleep? Jack? Jack? Glitter.

Well done, Glitter. He's got three. We're getting one-syllable answers out of Jack right now. Dr. Drew McCaskill is a what on Shortland Street? A more handsome and better looking muscly version of me? Yeah, definitely.

A camera operator or a plastic surgeon? Plastic surgeon. Well done, Jack. He's half asleep but he's won $40 Hell Pizza vouchers. Happy birthday.

Cheers. This is all thanks to your dad. Anything you want to say to Ewan? I love you, Dad. Love you too, mate. I love you both too as well. Which is weird for you to say, but anyway, that's lovely.

Have a great birthday, Jack. Yeah, thanks. Sorry about the rude wake-up. He's awake, he's awake now. That's a croaky teenager if I've ever heard one. You have a wonderful day, buddy. Yeah, you too. We apologise in advance.

It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Can I send a shout out to all those parents who are at home working from home but also teaching their children at the same time? Ben, your wife, she's a teacher, so she's teaching your kids and then teaching her class. She's trying to juggle. It's quite hard to juggle work and, you know, obviously being a parent. I can't do it.

Like, I get home, my head's like, you know when you go to the pub and there's a meat raffle and they've got that thing with the ping pong balls that they do around? That's my head. It's just shambles up there. But then I get home and, gee, my wife, she works for another radio station. I'm just like, she's so good at compartmentalising everything. She's like, does her job, teaches the children, back to her job,

teaches the children. But the kids are not good at that because they'll come in mid, you know, they don't know They're coming in the middle of a Zoom meeting. Yeah. They don't know you're in the bathroom. They want to know what shoes they need to put on. You're like, look, this could wait two minutes. So I was like, tomorrow, yesterday, I was like,

I'll get home and I can help with some of this homeschooling stuff. And I get home and Oscar and Poppy and my kids and I was like, well, what are you going to do? And they're like, we've got to go outside and measure leaves. I was like, filler content. Yeah, definitely. Filler content.

The teacher's gone, oh, God. What can they do now? Yeah, this is science stuff. So I was like, okay, cool. We'll get the 30-centimetre ruler. We'll go outside and measure some leaves. There was like 16 different things you had to find in the garden and it was fun. I really enjoyed spending

that time out there with the kids. But one was like, find a leaf that's nine centimetres. And so I was looking around for about 15 minutes. I was like, this is never going to happen. So I just snapped the top off a leaf and I was like, that's about nine. And I made it nine centimetres. Took a photo of it and they're like,

Dad, you can't do that. It's cheating. I was like, who's going to know And I made it nine centimetres. Took a photo of it. And they're like, Dad, you can't do that. It's cheating. I was like, who's going to know? Who is going to know? Currently that leaf is nine centimetres, so I guess you're right. But anyway, they wanted to do it properly. So I went off and did my own school project. We had to measure blades of grass.

Oh, God. But then you had to pad it out more. You had to predict what you thought the blade of grass was going to be. And then you had to measure it. And then the final one was like, how tall do you reckon that tree is? And my son's like, I don't know, 10 metres? And I'm like, I'm not going to climb up to find out,

so let's just say 10 metres. So I basically, I cheated on my version of it. They did a wonderful job, the kids. They did theirs properly. I got mine done, but here's the lesson, children. I got mine done in 10 minutes. They were still out there for an hour and a half. I passed the class.

The kids are so honest. Actually, my daughter, Indy, the other day, she had to write up about her family. And she's like, what radio station do you work for again? I was like, oh, the Hits. And I was like, oh, you know, but I'm also on the TV. And she's like, Dad, I don't want to lie. I was like, but we had the TV shows.

And she almost gradually put it down so she didn't hurt my feelings yeah we've got some projects in the works we've got TV stuff's happening you can put in for some funding just go away for the funding

round to come through TV will happen it'll be good alright then fair enough did you write the rest of her bio you know there's future

projects on the horizon yeah he's not washed up guys he's definitely not washed up making poor life decisions every morning it's Jono and Ben on the horizon. Yeah, he's not washed up, guys. He's definitely not washed up. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Big news, small town. Today we're looking at some big news out of Palmerston North.

A couple there, Ron and Maureen Saville, 60 years. They're celebrating their 60-year wedding anniversary this week in lockdown. If you were, you couldn't find two better names to make up for people celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.

Ron and Maureen. And I just googled what the gift is for your 60th wedding anniversary. White diamonds. Oh, really? White diamonds and a blue pill, I would imagine.

Might be, you're right. Okay, so we'll make a call to them. 60th wedding anniversary. I don't think I'll even live till I'm 60. Yeah, they'll only get married. Yeah. Keeping someone happy for 60 years.

Hey, Ron. Yeah. 60, baby. 60 years of wedded bliss. Oh, it is. It is. It is. Yeah.

What's the secret to it? By the way, you're on the radio. It's the big new small town. Jono and Ben here. It's who? It's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. We just wanted to ring up and say congratulations on 60 years. Oh, thank you.

Yeah. What's the secret? Everyone asks that, eh? Listen to the wife all the time. Okay. Do what she says. And then when she goes to sleep, you go out and play. Not during lockdown, of course.

Speaking of playing No what actually happened is the Lady In front of us she knows What's his name Warwick Smith Oh Warwick So he just wanted Some small bits to put in the paper

Because he says it's just either International news or Something to do with the coronavirus. He needed some filler content. Yeah. So he got in touch with you. Yeah, so he got in touch with me. So that's how it came about.

Oh, well, 60 years. It worked out well, really. You're famous. You're all over the internet now. Yeah. You're a keen golfer. Have you got back golfing yet? No, I'm not going to bother for a while.

Because they've closed. And also, all the toilets are closed, they said. Not fair. How often are you going to the toilet, Ron? Oh, now I can go right round without going. That's correct. But there are all the... Oh, you've got to be...

Yeah, you're right. You've got to have those opportunities. Yeah, there is, yeah. Now, what would Maureen tell us about you? What dirt would she dish on you, Ron? Oh, well, I can put her on and you can tell all the big secrets. Tell her lies. Okay, here we go.

You're a good sport, Ron. Someone from the radio station, congratulations. Good morning. Hello Maureen, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. We just want to say congratulations, 60 years. Oh, thank you very much. It's made national news. Has it?

Yeah. The Prime Minister's holding a press conference about it this afternoon at one o'clock in between the COVID updates. Oh, I doubt it very much. So what's your secret? We just asked Ron. We won't repeat his, but what was yours? You get married when you're very, very young

and your brain hasn't fully developed and you haven't a clue what you're doing. Because you know what he said about you? He said the trick is keeping you happy, then he sneaks out at night and does weird stuff. Yeah. She's not going to answer that one. Well, Maureen, congratulations, 60 years.

That's an amazing achievement, and thanks for chatting today. Thank you. What more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. A lot of businesses that are back this week. Kick the music off, Producer Juliet.

400,000 New Zealanders back to work as of Tuesday, but we want to let them advertise right now on the radio. We've found a loophole you can advertise. Well, we think it's a loophole. 10 seconds and under. Yeah. We created this loophole just to make ourselves sleep easy at night.

Exactly. Yeah, and like we said, you can get a lot done in 10 seconds. You can plug the business, plug the website, get your phone number out there. I can make love twice in 10 seconds. Oh, great. Three times if I try hard. A little bit more.

Okay. Too much information. You know my stats, Ben. Three times if I try hard. A little bit more. Okay. Too much information. You know my stats, man. I know, I know. We don't need to talk about that at 7.30 in the morning. We just need to get to some good, honest Kiwi businesses and no honesty from you. All right.

First one, Gregor, you're on the air. Welcome. Cheers, mate. Guess who's back? Guess who's back? Yes, Gregor's back. Yes, he is. I'm back in town, mate.

Okay, you've got 10 seconds to advertise your business. Away you go. All right, head to surfacesafe.com for hand and surface sanitizers for the home or business or both. Surfacesafe.com. Hi, Mum. Hi, Mum.

Hi, Mum. I only got a Mum shout-out there as well. Hey, great business to be doing at the moment. Yeah, good times we only got a Mum shout out there as well. Hey, great business to be doing at the moment. Yeah, no, it's a good time to be launching, but everyone needs it as well. Like liquid gold, that hand sanitiser. You can't get it. How long do we make this plug go for?

We're still going. You're just trying to drag out the conversation. I mentioned before, my chemist is running some bootleg operation out the back. Bootleg hand sanitiser. No, we don't want the vodka out the back, mate. This should be done. I'll just be trying to wash my hands

with Jono's breath in the morning because that's like 99% alcohol. Surf is safe. Thank you, Gregor. On to the next one. Ben, you're on the air. Welcome to 10 Second Plugs. Ben is back.

All right, Ben, you have 10 seconds to advertise your business. Away you go. Hi there. I'm wanting to advertise Smith & Sons. We're renovation builders

and we're master builders. We have offices all across New Zealand. You can Google us Smith & Sons. Smith & Sons. There we go. Unfortunately,

the buzzer went. We don't have time for the full website. Oh, you can just Google Smith & Sons. Yeah, there you go. Couldn't get into the http://

but well done, man. Renovate your life. Renovate your house. Do that with Ben at Smith & Sons. Raymond, you're on the air. It well done, man. Renovate your life. Renovate your house. Do that with Bennett Smith and Sons. Raymond, you're on the air. It's 10 second plugs. Guess who's back?

Yes. The world is back. Raymond's back. All right, watch your business. Away you go. Experience and advice. You can drop world moving and storage

phone 08004WORLD or hit worldmoving.co.nz. Sings his own jingle. Does his own voiceover at the end. Mate, we had to put our jingle lady into isolation, so that's it. I'm sorry, guys. So sorry.

That was impressive. All right, let's take one more. Shall we, John? Okay. John, you're on the air. Welcome. John is back. H&J is back. Got 10 seconds, Johnny're on the air. Welcome. John is back. H and J's are back.

Got 10 seconds, Johnny. Take it away. Well, H and J's are back. For all your department store needs, just find us at www.hjsmith.co.nz or call us on 0800 433 433 1044 every day. I kind of got that number at the end. H and J Smith in Vicargill.

John, you look after yourself in the South. Cool. Thank you very much. Thanks for that. It sounds weird saying self and self after. Anyway, I won't get caught up on that. One more. Bree's on the air.

Ten second plugs. Bree is back. Bree's back. You've got ten seconds to plug whatever you want. Bree, where are you going? Guys, I'm hosting a new bloody TV show. It's on tonight. TV 2, 7pm.

It's called You Got This. It's all DIY, including the actual show, because it's filmed at home. It's Bree from City. How's it going, buddy? Hello, guys. I recognise that wonderful Aussie twang. Love you, Bree. Oh, they're noticeable.

So what's the show? So it's on tonight, TV 2. It's basically what? Challenges in your bubble? Yeah, pretty much like teams around New Zealand. I'm just putting them to the test and making them do really weird stuff. And I just want to see who wins.

I just want to put bubbles against each other and see the fight begin. Yeah, I mean, get people at their weak point. Everyone's at tipping point right now after lockdown. And put that on TV, I say. Great television, I think, boys. It's going to be a ripper. 7 p.m. TV, too.

You got this. TVNZ 2 with Brie Thomasell this evening. Thank you, Brie. Love your work, mate. No think, boys. It's going to be a ripper. 7pm TV2. You got this. TVNZ 2 with Brie Thomasell this evening. Thank you, Brie. Love your work, mate. No worries, guys. Love the show. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We really enjoy working here. Having a lot of fun doing this show. It's been extra lot of fun. Yeah, it's really cool. Yeah, it's... You realise when you haven't done radio for a while

how much you enjoy it? This is a really personal conversation. I don't think we need to hear this. No, no, it's nice to hear. I mean, look, it's not real work, is it? No. I just turned my mic off. There's not many things you have to do for that job, too.

One is put the mic on and two is talk into the microphone. You found all the... Yeah, I haven't done it in a while. I forget how it works. But, yeah, no, we're enjoying the hits. And something we have noticed is that, you know, we're protective of the audience. We want this to be a safe place.

Yeah, we do. We want kids, you want families, you want all sorts of, yeah, it's a New Zealand show. Grandmothers,

mistresses, we'll take anyone. Yeah, anyone at all. Take anyone listening. And I did notice that the popular song from Lizzo,

up and coming recording artist, Lizzo. Yeah, mate. She's awesome and you're right, it's been censored in our version instead of saying a swear word. She's awesome. And you're right, it's been censored in our version

instead of saying a swear word. Have a listen. She's tired of the bull. Which still works, but I've just kind of censored that. We don't even want to

reiterate what that word is because it's filth. Smut. We don't want it on that station. Absolutely. Get that away from me. So, you know,

we're sanitising our hands at the moment. We feel that we should sanitise the station at the same time, Ben. So, Producer Juliet and myself have taken it on board to... Why have you taken this on board? Surely this should be something for the music department. I haven't been here long, but there is a, you know, something they should do, right?

Yeah, we've all got a pitch in, don't we? And so we've just sanitised a few more songs that maybe... I know what you're going to songs that maybe could be deemed offensive. This is a popular one. Jonas Brothers. Jonas Brothers, one sucker. I'm a f***er for you. I see.

We didn't need to censor that one because he said sucker. Did he? Next one. We will, we will f*** you. Again, unnecessary. But you just don't need that You know what I'm saying You've made it worse You've somehow taken a great song from Queen

The uncensored version We can't have little ears listening to Exactly I will try F*** you Chris Martin Somehow you make Coldplay sound badass Chris Martin somehow you make Coldplay sound badass

Chris Martin's the peddler of filth and we've got the senior reader one too yeah I love it when you **** me so now this is a

safe place I wonder if we'll open about that you can come here chill rest assured you'll hear no blasphemy on this

some people skip breakfast the meal and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Hey, I don't know, have you seen Paul Henry's new show? No I haven't. Reinventing Paradise I think it's called. Right. I think it's called that, I can't know.

I'm sorry, are you pleased for this half-hearted plug? But bloody good though isn't he Paul Henry? He was interviewing the guy from Rocket Lab, the head of Rocket Lab, which if you don't know what it is, New Zealand launches rockets into space now. This guy, he's a genius and he was, talking to Paul Henry, he's a futurist. And his

outlook on this whole thing is like you've got to make something out of a crisis. You've got to turn it into a positive. And so he's like the house is burnt down. But what do we do now? We rebuild. We've got a chance to do everything in a completely new fashion in terms of the way you conduct business. So instead of going back to the way it used to be,

you're trying to find a new way. Yeah, he's like, what's the point in going back to how we used to do it? That's really interesting. But is this the Earth's way of going, this is our opportunity to get on and do new stuff. The other point- Did he talk about radio?

He didn't talk about radio, no. So radio is the forefront of that. Yeah, radio will be around for hundreds of years. Let's keep that the same. Yeah, radio shouldn't change. But everything else. Let's not go to streaming or anything. No, no, don't do that.

In fact, delete streaming. Yeah, good. You're a sensible guy. No, no, it was really interesting. And he's about to launch a rocket and land on the moon. He's about to send a rocket to the moon. And he was also saying, just given the climate of the world at the moment, he's the only space organisation operating in the whole world.

New Zealand is the only one launching rockets into space at the moment. Wow, what a way to self-isolate up there on the moon. Let's see some Spy Entertainment news. So if you've seen Life of Pi or Slumdog Millionaire, you'll know the actor Irfan Khan. This is a little quote from his movie Life of Pi or Slumdog Millionaire, you'll know the actor Irfan Khan. This is a little quote from his movie Life of Pi. At the edge of the jungle, he stopped. I was certain he was going to look back at me,

flatten his ears to his head, growl, that he would bring our relationship to an end in some way. But he just stared ahead into the jungle. Good movie there. Great movie. Great movie. He was the original Tiger King, wasn't he? Yeah, he was. But he has passed

away. He, at age 54, which is really sad, really young. He had been battling cancer since he was 2018, since it was 2018, and he was admitted to hospital with a colon infection, which I think must have sort of been the added thing that caused it potentially. But yeah, that's very sad.

Very sad. And for, in other news, for next year's Oscars, they've changed the way of how entries can roll out. So any movie that has been on a streaming site is now eligible to win an Oscar. So usually it's just movies that they release in cinemas. But the Oscars at this stage will still go ahead next year, but it just opens up a whole nother, you know.

Is there a category where I can need to Ben's TikTok videos? Surely, surely. Best video under 15 seconds, best movie. Me and boys. They always under 15 seconds, best movie. Ben Boyce. They always need to diversify into that. They do into social media videos. Yeah, but the Oscars, they won't do that, right? No, they're too hoity-toity.

They won't get the movies. Half the movies you don't even go see, right? Nominate my friend Ben Boyce dancing to bloody Carol Baskin. Killed her. And best children dance to Carol Baskin goes to. And Elon Musk, you'd think he's quite a smart, logical guy. Well, I thought so. But he thinks coronavirus is basically a big sham.

He tweeted, free America now. He reckons the danger of panic still far exceeds the danger of the virus. And he wants the US to end their lockdown. Finally, someone's saying something we're all thinking about. Go Elon. We actually went into

a Tesla last year and had a look and they've got like a dance party mode where the doors kind of like flash up and down. Yeah,

you push a button on the remote and it does the symphony as well. And it does a dance. And the doors go up and it's crazy. I didn't realise,

do you know Grimes? Musician? Yes. He's with her. Yeah, I know. Having a baby with her. It's a bizarre combo. Oh, you and Lasker's.

It's a bizarre combo. Yeah. He's quite an interesting man, isn't he? For more Spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Don't you feel like you're really getting a head start on the day

when you get up at four o'clock in the morning? You do. Start to peter out about midday? Yeah. I just checked up on so much coffee. It's crazy. I'm jittery. I'm sweaty.

There's parts of my body sweating. I don't even know if I'm sweating. Maybe you shouldn't have so much. Now, because we are in an empty building here at the hits, apart from the studios, there's no one around at the offices. We have found a paddleboard. A flash new paddleboard. We want to give that away

right now. I'm sure this was designated for another radio station but we've swooped on in there. Love paddleboards. Love the people that ride paddleboards. Finally crafted human beings, aren't they? Remember Lando Bloom? He's a paddleboard rider, wasn't he?

Didn't he have that naked paddleboard shot with Katy Perry? That's right, yeah. He wasn't even holding an oar. He had the other thing doing all the hard work for him. He definitely did, yeah. It's an odd thing to do naked, isn't it? He was like, I wouldn't know anyone was going to be around, but you're still in the middle of a lake. Yeah, you're in the middle of a lake.

I mean, yeah, there's a chance someone will be around. Yeah, anyway, I mean, if anyone was going to do it without talks, geez, well done, him. Helen, you're on the air. You're in Rotorua. Good to have you with us. Cheers, guys.

Thanks. Oh, Helen, you sound like a wonderful human being. You've got to get five questions, water-based questions, correct, to win this paddleboard, to paddleboard around the lake there in Rotorua. Five in a row. Here we go. First question. Pump is a brand of bottled what?

Water. Well done. Well done. My friend sometimes fills that up with vodka and takes it to work. Really? Yeah, I'd go gin now. Yeah, gin.

It's a good little trick for... You're like, man, he's really hydrated today. But quite slurry. Making no sense. And now they're asleep at two o'clock in the afternoon. Next question. Hamish Bond and Eric Murray won which colour medals

at the 2012 London and 2016 Rio de Janeiro Olympics? Gold. Ah, well done. Two from two. You ask the next question, Ben. I shouldn't be the quiz master. That's all right, I don't mind. Okay, Helen, Kelly Slater is famous for what?

Surfing. Yeah, 11 world titles. You met Kelly Slater is famous for what? Surfing. Yeah, 11 world titles. You met Kelly Slater and your wife thought it was Jack Johnson. Yes, she was like, oh my god, Jack Johnson. I'm like, Kelly Slater. Then we took a photo and she was like, oh my god, this is the best day ever, despite the fact she thought it was Jack Johnson. And then I was playing around with the camera back in the day. This was one of

the old cameras and I basically reformatted the memory card, lost that photo. With Jack Johnson. With Jack Johnson. She's still upset. He keeps coming back, so that's okay. Exactly. I need to make it up to her, get a photo with Kelly Slater one time.

He was meant to come back for the surfing, but it got postponed anyway. Fourth question, fourth in a row. Who played Mitch Buchanan in the original TV series of Baywatch? Oh, God, what's his name? I can picture him. Oh. Three more seconds, Drew. Play it again, Juliet.

I'm so sorry, Helen. Oh, never mind. It was David Hasselhoff was the name we're looking for. Oh, yeah. You did so well. I thought it was all yours. You go and have a wonderful day, though, Helen. Thanks for listening.

Okay, cheers, guys. Thanks. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Kimberly Crossman, she played Sophie Mackay on Shortland Street, and she's been on our screens for over a decade now. She's based in L.A. at the moment during lockdown, and she's also got a great podcast if you want to check it out.

It's called Pretty Depressed. She talks about mental health with people like Reece Darby and stars of The Sopranos and Entourage. It is awesome. It's a great thing in the world. And she joins us right now on Zoom. Kim Crossman, how's it going? Hey, guys.

Very well, thank you. Blows my mind, this bloody internet. All right, boomer. Blows my mind. So she's on the other side of the world. She is. We've got a crystal clear line of communication with Kim. Crazy.

Isn't it crazy? It's a crazy time in the world. There's probably more crazier things going on. Speaking of which, Kim, how scary is it to be in the States right now? Well, in all honesty, I have to say that because I'm in my little bubble in Santa Monica,

I don't really see a lot of the chaos. If anything, this is the first time I've ever been in LA and there's no smog because there's no one driving. So it's like crystal clear skies and stuff. But I would say that, yeah, I feel like there's quite a lot of political unrest going on and obviously massive numbers, especially comparatively to New Zealand, from people both infected and unfortunately with deaths. So, yeah, it is very serious. In Santa Monica, in LA, we have mandatory

masks, which I'm finding... Have you guys worn masks? Yeah, it's... What I don't like about it... John O'Neill went to the supermarket the other day and we got a text from a friend going, I thought it was you, John O', but I didn't know you were wearing a mask. But then I saw your trolley had Heineken and I was like, oh yeah, that's John O'. I panic bought Heineken. That was the only thing in the trolley. But I find when you wear sunglasses with them, they steam up the sunglasses.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I just have bad breathing habits but it immediately makes me quite sweaty. And another complaint about masks, COVID complaint here, is when you're chewing, I love Airwaves chewing gum. I like the boomer you are.

And when I'm chewing the chewing gum and I've got a mask on, it makes my eyes water because the airwaves go straight up. Straight up your airwaves. Yeah. So maybe don't do that. Have you been going out and about, going for walks with your cat in a pram during lockdown? Yeah, I have.

Oh, he's actually, he's right here behind me. They're like, when are we going in the pram? I get a lot of shit for that. Mainly from Ben and me who bring it up every single time we talk to you. Yeah, that's right. I put photos on the internet and people were like, that would never fly in New Zealand. And I'm like, well, let's make it a thing then.

The cats love it. It means that that's safe. Your cat doesn't even know how to use his legs. I just sit on this thing and get transported from one place to another. I have a question. Have you been injecting Dettol? Oh, God. You know what? I posted a, I thought, hilarious meme of a Dettol cocktail and I got 11 teen death threats of people being like, don't promote such bollocks and stuff.

I'm like, well, it's obviously a joke. I don't know if New Zealand is quite at the point of drinking Dettol. Surely you think it's redonkulous. Of course it's a joke. We're meant to inject it, not drink it. No, no, not meant to do any of that stuff. Anyone, even any dumbass knows that.

Actually, speaking of presidents, not obviously the current one, but the former President Barack Obama, does he still follow you on Twitter or he did for a time there? Oh, should I check in real time? See if we can send him a DM. You tried it once then, yeah? I've tried it a few times

with no... How did he cotton on to... I don't know. He does still follow me. I don't know. He does still follow me. I don't know. Can you see that? We'll get it on screen just for confirmation. Wow, that's a legit account. He must have all sorts of people sliding up in his DMs, eh?

You'd think so, right? Imagine, everyone would be contacting him. The last thing I sent him was, you stuck in traffic too? So he must have been in town or something. Because when the president's in town, they shut all the doors. We've got Kim Crossman with us live via Zoom in Los Angeles. Something else I discovered that I didn't know about you,

you spent a year of your life trying to contact the Queen. Oh, it's been much longer than a year, yeah. It's like one of my life goals is to have a cuppa with the Queen. Have a cuppa tea? Yes. Yeah, that's probably never going to happen. Have a cuppa tea? Yes. Yeah. That's probably never going to happen. I mean, time's running out for her.

She's definitely closer. Well, she's closer to the finish line of life than Kim is. Oh, right. Okay. Ben's always like, she looks so good for 93. I'm like, she looks like an old lady who's 93. She looks great. Slap some foundy on her. She's going to look okay, isn't she?

A matching track suit? She's really good. Yeah. foundy on her, she's going to look okay, isn't she? A matching track suit? She's really good. Yeah, it's been quite an intense life goal of mine to have a cup of tea with her. How far have your attempts gone? I've had the New Zealand House send a letter on my behalf.

The High Commission send a letter. Yeah, I'm like, I'm very intense which is not new information to either of you. The High Commission? Surely they've got better things to do in their day. Yeah, I'm very intense, which is not new information to either of you. The High Commission. Surely they've got better things to do in their day. The New Zealand High Commission quarterly invites Her Majesty the Queen for a cup of tea with Kim Crossman.

Yeah, I tried to get an invite. She has a garden party every year, and so I kind of thought that might be my in. Always good to catch up with you. You stay safe in America right now and well done again on the podcast. It's an awesome thing you're doing for the world.

Awesome. You guys are great. Stay safe and good luck with your early mornings. See you, Kim. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, we want to know, 0800 the hits, what did your dog eat in lockdown? I want to compare it to my dog.

Now, I have a big white fluffy Samoyed. We talked about him, Bo, before. Bo, this is the dog. He's a shambles. Like, he should have actually named him Shambles. Hey, Shambles, come here. Yeah, because it's true.

I'd probably call him a shambles more than I'd actually say Bo. My favourite Bo story is when he straddled a baby that was visiting your house in a very compromising position. Oh, yeah. So he was a puppy. Here's another shamble story. And my niece was also crawling at the time. Of the height?

Some reason he decided to sort of, you know, like, to hop on board. And she loved it. But, well, you know, not love, you know. She wasn't like. She was laughing. Yeah, laughing. She was like, oh, this dog. Yeah, you know. Oh, God, your she wasn't like she was laughing yeah you're laughing she was like oh this dog's yeah you know

oh god your dog the dog's a shambles so over over the weekend we were all like you know you can't go out anymore

so we're like hey maybe we'll have a nice family night in we'll make some you make some snacks we'll have movie nights you know so I went to a bit of trouble

made a big sort of platter there's some cheeses and crackers some chip and dip that sort of thing some popcorn I put it all out there and I was like hey all the food we got in the pantry is on this platter we There's some cheeses and crackers, some chip and dip, that sort of thing, some popcorn. I put it all out there and I was like, hey, all the food we got in the pantry is on this platter. We've got yeast,

a big jar of Marmite. It's all there. Yeah, mayonnaise. And then for some reason we, I don't know what we did, but we all must have left the lounge momentarily, just for a moment, before the movie, came back in. It would have only been like 10, 20 seconds and the dog had eaten the whole place. Wow, see, that's the the thing they strike when they know the moment is right the whole thing gone but you

didn't tell him not to you've never sat him down because he's eating all sorts of swazia ate a bloody sock he had a sock one of the good socks when he was younger and that that kind of got stuck coming out too which is a poor thing you had to pull it out it was me i got i had to go out and he's wearing those socks still to this day. I'm not good with those things. You put them back in the wash, they're fine. But no one's sat dogs down and gone, you know, here's what's acceptable and here's what's not acceptable. No, you're right.

You know, they don't know. They've got no moral compass. Anything's fair game. I always think, we were talking about this yesterday, chocolate. You know how the dogs not know that chocolate's going to be so bad for them, this delicious treat. You're like, oh, you eat that, this is not good. I feel like you're spending

70% of your day apologising for your dog. In public situations, in private situations. To your family, just to everyone. We love him, and he's great. He's so good with the kids, and he's a lot of fun, but he is a shambles. He just gets a bit excited. He's a goofball.

And he's eaten the whole platter. So I thought try and make me feel better. Maybe your dog has eaten something impressive during lockdown. Oh yeah, my wife Jen, they used to have a, what are those dogs at the airport that sniff out the bloody drugs? Beagles? Beagles. And gee, they can, their noses

clearly, they're led by their noses, the beagles. And he would just same as Bo, just eat anything when no one was in the room. At Christmas time, he ate the entire Christmas cake on Christmas Day and couldn't move. He couldn't move. He was literally on his back with his legs in the air

for a week. It was like, you know when the cobras eat a rhinoceros and you see the picture on the internet and there's just this skinny cobra and a giant rhino inside. It was like that but with a big square Christmas cake in his job. That's impressive. You could tap his belly. It was like a rock.

Your doggy digestions. What has it been? Has it been more impressive than that beagle that ate that whole Christmas meal? More impressive than Bo. 0800 the hits is the phone number. I would love to have your calls this morning. The soggy cornflakes of radio It's Jono and Ben on the hits

I was talking about my dog Bo I love him He's a big white fluffy Samoyed But as I keep saying He's a bit of a shambles He's a shambles He's a loveable shambles Yeah so he's eaten a sock before

You had to extract that Yeah he ate the whole platter Over the weekend All the snacks that we had out For movie night at home I was just saying to you guys before, I just don't know, if I kept feeding him, I don't know when he would stop and go, I've had enough.

He just always seems to be like, he's having it. And there's nothing a dog can do that they won't be forgiven for. I mean, they do some truly horrendous things. He's a dog. If I did at least half the things a dog does on a day, I'd be in prison. Yeah, you're right. And they'll get away with a lot. So we want to know today, what has your dog eaten?

Maybe during lockdown? That'll make me feel better. Kevin, you're in Welly, the capital. Everyone knows that. Didn't need to spell that out. What did your dog digest over lockdown? A whole home office setup. Just before level four, I had got my desk and my chair and my computer and brought it home.

And then I went out to go for like a half an hour grocery shop, get some essentials. But it obviously took two hours with the queues. And I came back and the chair cushion was gone. The desk had teeth marks in it and it started on the cords in the back of the computer. He had eaten your office. How is he literally eating you out of house and home? Has he started eating your house? No, not the house.

Just all the stuff that was going to keep me working at home. Wow. And the dog ate my homework. Hard sell on the boss, I imagine. It was, yeah. Yeah, it was. But the computer's fine. It can still work.

Good on you, Kevin. Thank you for listening to the show. Kate, also in the capital, Lower Hutt, what did your dog digest during lockdown, Kate? Oh, well, I was trying to defrost a chicken and I came back and my Labradoodle was just there with an empty teagull bag. Oh, like a raw chicken?

Yeah. But frozen, but half frozen as well. Yeah, like the inside was still kind of solid. Did it affect, campylobacter take effect? Oh, kind of, kind of. I think dogs have got better digestive systems than humans for that sort of thing. I mean, if they can eat office chairs and desks and stuff,

they can really, they can chow down. But chocolate is their Achilles heel, you were saying yesterday. Yeah, for some reason. Of all the things. Hey, feed me a raw chicken. I'll eat that bloody desk out there, but no chocolate for you. Let's head to Taupo.

Alice, you're on the air. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. What did your dog digest? Morning. I'm sorry. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that my dog's soft, fluffy duck toy was missing.

I thought he was like hidden in the backyard or something. And it wasn't until I took him for a walk the other day and noticed it coming out. His bottom was quacking. His stomach was quacking. That's an unusual noise for the dog to be making. And so what do you do? Is this the same thing Ben had to do with the sock? Did you have to sort of get some elbow grease?

Well, I kind of just call my partner because I don't want to be cleaning that stuff up. So I let him deal with it. Sort of just get a bag and I guess what you do normally. It's the things you do for the dog, yeah. Oh, it is? But why is it your partner's problem? My wife does that with bugs.

She's like, go get the bugs. I was like, I don't like catching bugs any more than you do. Why is it my job? Why is it his job to pull the duck out of your dog? Thank you so much for your call. There you go. I feel slightly better about my shambles of a dog now after that. Remember to double pump the Virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, a lot of people using the wonders of modern technology at the moment, having to work from home. And a reporter in America on Good Morning America,

he did a live cross yesterday and everything went well. The final leg of prescriptions journeys will be done by ground carriers so people won't be getting their medication dropped out of the sky into their mailbox just yet. So it was great. Textbook. Sounded good. The only thing was he wasn't wearing pants.

So he had a nice... Why didn't they just tilt the camera for a bit? Obviously, he didn't know, so he had his suit top on, looked good, did the whole thing. But yeah, you could see clearly it was just in his undies. For a while there, I was like, he's not wearing any pants. If the option is to not put pants on, you're never going to choose to put pants on.

If you're going to spend the day pantless and do your job, why wouldn't you? So he's all over the internet for that risky move. We had a Zoom meeting yesterday with a guy, Spend the day pantless and do your job. Why wouldn't you? So he's all over the internet for that risky move. We had a Zoom meeting yesterday with a guy, and there's a function on Zoom that it's like share your screen with everyone in the meeting so they can look at, basically look at your computer. Whatever you are clicking on.

Yeah. And so he's like, oh, I'm just going to screen share. And so he brought up a dock, and he's like, oh, no, this isn't the dock. And then so he shut the dock, and then he went deep into his folders. Uh-oh, uh-oh, where? Like, gee whiz. That's a risky game to play. I couldn't do it with this thing, my computer.

I'd have to shut it down and burn it. Imagine if I shared the screen with this. Producer Juliet, you'd retire from radio. See ya. What I've seen on this thing makes me dead inside. So I don't know why that function's there. Well, I know why it's there. It's for, you know, professional people to share documents

that other people need to see while on a Zoom meeting. But yeah, there's some, I do appreciate those who have figured out how to do the green screen in the background on Zoom. Oh yeah, we made some Jono and Ben Zoom green screens. No, I never used them, did they? No, I don't know. That was quite good. Go and download one.

Make us feel better about ourselves. The hits.co.nz, go use them. Did anyone use them, Producer Juliet? I don't know, but we sure uploaded them. No one downloaded them. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast. Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Who could forget the segment that's truly forgettable? Kim Horton Dates. Now, this is based around the fact that we think a lot of guys when put on the spot for remembering dates in their life that they should know crumble. Yeah. You know, it's a tough thing to do, and we're going to put someone to the test right now,

and if they can come through for their partner, they'll win a Reading Cinema voucher. Fiona, welcome. How's Auckland today? It's pretty good. It's pretty, you know, nice blue skies and not too busy in the traffic. Sucking back on your soy lattes, babe?

No, I'm actually a coffee maintainer. Oh, you maintain coffee. What is a coffee maintainer? So I maintain the coffee machines. I'm a coffee technician, so I maintain and repair the essential coffee machines. We used to have one of those in the kitchen at our old workplace. I never cracked it, never figured it out.

Frothing the milk is the tough thing, right? Well, you see, to be honest with you, the coffee company that I work for, we do fully automatic as well and makes a barista-style coffee at the touch of a button. They're frothing already. I can't get the sound of it. Fiona, now we're going to put your husband Andrew on the spot here with some important dates in your life. What's Andrew like as a partner?

He's a bloody good one actually. Very good husband, very good dad. Rock solid guy, rock solid guy. Is he good at remembering things? He's pretty good. He's pretty good. And even honesty, he's pretty good. And even when we're shopping, he'll remember things that I've pointed out.

And then he'll go and buy me them for special days. Oh, my God. He might come through. So what's your birthday? You don't have to give us the year. What's the day and the month? 21st of October. 21st of October.

Anniversary date? 23rd of December. 23rd of December. You said you had kids? My name of one of the kids? Dylan. Dylan. We? 23rd of December. 23rd of December. You said you had kids? My name of one of the kids? Dylan. Dylan. We'll go Dylan's birthday.

It's 14th of August. 14th of August. Okay. He sounds like a better husband than I am, this guy. All my money's on Andrew right now. Yeah, all right. Fiona. Frothy Fiona.

You said you were keeping it clean today. I was keeping it fr frothing the milk. It sounded weird for some reason. You're right. It's your profession. Andrew, how you going? It's Jono and Ben calling you rudely from the hits. Oh, hey fellas, how are you? Oh, we're doing well.

Sounds like you're a stand-up husband. Rock solid. We're told you remember all sorts of stuff. Welcome to Important Dates. We have Fiona on the phone. Are you ready, Andrew? Yeah, yeah. We don't need the year, but we need the date and the month. What is Fiona's birthday?

21st of October. Oh, well done. It's also my wedding anniversary. That's a good memory for me there. Well done. Maybe Andrew can remind you next year. And speaking of which, the date of your wedding anniversary, Andrew? 23rd of December.

Oh, he is good. He's good. It's funnier when you're shambles around and you don't answer the questions properly, but you're doing well. So you guys got married just before Christmas, obviously. Was that, you know, was that a pain? Was that what, sorry? Was it a pain getting married just before Christmas?

Because imagine, you know, like getting that organised as well as Christmas. Yeah, yeah, it was a bit of a nightmare, but no, the missus was good. She might have to do more of it. Oh, yeah? Okay. All right, she's on the phone now. You can talk to her now. You don't have to refer to her in a third person.

And finally, Dylan. He's one of your children. That's a friendly reminder. And Dylan, Dylan. He's one of your children. That's a friendly reminder. And Dylan's birthday. He's 14th of August. Oh, three for me. You guys have got a date night at Reading Cinemas after lockdown, all right? Oh, happy days.

What do you want to say to him? Thank you. What do you want to say, Fiona? Say something to Andrew. Say something loving that we can go out on. Well done, baby. You did me proud. And Andrew, you tell her that you love her.

I love you very much, darling. And you tell him that you love him back, Fiona. Love you too, babe. There we go. We've got to do carriades. We'll edit Jono out of it. It'll be a great little bit for a promo. Eggs for breakfast.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Thank you very much for your kind donation. Thank you very much. Yesterday I said we should use that thank you very much song and then when it started playing thank you very much for your kind donation. Thank you very much. Yesterday I said we should use that thank you very much song and then when it started playing thank you very much for your kind donation I realised it was applicable in no way to this part of the show. We like to give thanks. This is Thanksgiving 0800 The Hits.

If there's anyone that you want to say hey man or hey lady or hey non-binary person, thanks. What about dogs? Hey dogs. So I've about dogs? Hey, dogs. So I've gotten a hole now, haven't I? You started listing things. Hey, amputees. Everyone.

Thank you, everyone. Still want to give thanks around. Spread some positivity before we head to the homeschool. That's right. So if anyone's helped you out during lockdown, now is the time to take the airwaves and shout them out. Bill's on the line. Welcome. Yeah, g the line. Welcome.

Yeah, g'day, guys. Who do you want to say give thanks to, Bill? I want to thank the nurse, my nurse, yesterday at North Shore Hospital. Her name was Carly, and I just think they're just doing an amazing job. I did something very stupid. I was actually cleaning my chimney and fell off the ladder and broke my arm. I wasn't in there for anything other than stupidity, but the nurses and doctors were just doing an incredible job at North Shore Hospital.

Oh, shout out to the nurses and doctors at North Shore Hospital. Were you doing like the Mary Poppins? They had that chimney sweeps the song, they get up the chimney or whatever. I don't know about that. I was just being an idiot, trying to save a few bucks. Oh, good on you. Well, Jacinda said, don't take up surfing or chimney cleaning

under lockdown. There's another live call. Should we take that, Juju? Who do you want to give thanks to on 0800 The Hits? You're live. You're on the air. Hello. I'd like to thank you guys

for being on the radio all the time. Oh, thank you. Did Jono set this up? Yeah, I did. I sent this guy an email. I was like, make sure you call just before 9 o'clock. It seemed like a live call that we're going. That's very kind of you.

You don't have to say that. And let's get morning entertainment. No, well, listen, thank you. We really are enjoying it. And it's a true honour to actually be here and broadcasting and jibber-jabbering our babble down the microphones to you. You have a great day, mate. We really appreciate your call.

I will. Thanks for listening. See you, bud. Can I just give a quick shout-out as well while we're doing some shout-outs? Genesis School Gen. I talked about this the other day. They've joined forces with MindLab Kids

to help Kiwi kids put their energy to good use. So if you're looking for stuff to do with the kids at the moment, because if you're a parent, we all are, they've got free fun experiments, challenges, and light bulb moments online right now at schoolgen.co.nz. We did some the other day with the kids, and they were awesome. And you can check out today's Time Out magazine for the latest Genesis School Gen Mind Labs Kids Challenge. And each week, we could be giving someone an iPad.

We gave a kid an iPad the other day from us. Yeah, man. Jeez, hell of a prize. Hell of a school to attend. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Good morning, class.

Quiet, please. Quiet, please. Quiet! I said shut your pie holes! Apologies, that really went from zero to a hundred. Welcome to Jono and Ben's homeschool. A renegade, unsanctioned educational faculty fully supported by the Ministry of Education in no way at all. Now, tuck in your socks and pull up your shirts. I'm pretty sure that's how that goes.

Please stand and welcome your teachers with literally no teaching qualifications whatsoever. Mr. Pryor and Mr. Boyce. Good morning, New Zealand. This is the John Owen Ben home school. Between 9 and 10 each day, we like to play a few fun games, quizzes, give you a chance to win some prizes. And thanks, of course, to Disney+. You can win a year of Disney+, which is pretty awesome.

And right now, if you haven't got Disney+, you can get a free seven-day trial. Just go to Disney+.com. And you can tell we're the cool teachers who wear T-shirts and blazers, you know, the ones, and then they start the class with whoop, whoop. And everybody's like, oh, man, he's so... Sit with the chair around the other way. You're like, oh, yeah. Oh, he's relatable. He sits with the chair around the other way. You're like oh yeah. He's relatable.

So 0800 the hits if you want to be the star pupil. You've got four classes you need to work your way through. You can't get any questions wrong. We start with history, English, music and then you need to make a speech at the end of school. If you get through that unscathed the Disney Plus subscription is all yours. But hey, you listening, don't be shy

because you can come and steal that subscription as soon as one question is floundered. That's right. R800, the hits is the phone number if you want to play Be Our First Star Pupil. And of course before 10 o'clock, we have a big guest. We've had the likes of Dwayne Johnson, Pink, Lady Gaga. They've all... The big names. They've joined us, but we've kind of left them

to the last thing we do, so we run out of time. Yeah, so today we have another one, and this, I would say, probably our most famous guest. Hey, Jono and Ben. I've got to admit that I have had my fashion police moments over the years. My biggest regret was my cornrows. It

is a big, big star putting on a really convincing American accent. And when you find out who it is at 10 o'clock you will be having to lie down for the rest of the day and compose yourself. Alright, 100 The Hits, that is our phone number. Love you to give us a call. You can win

for your family a Disney Plus subscription. Just like a chocolate milkshake only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Good morning to you. Little Friday. Thursday. That's what we like to call it, Little Friday. I know Little Friday. I got that name off a friend and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Good morning to you. Little Friday. Thursday. That's what we like to call it, Little Friday. I know Little Friday.

I got that name off a friend, and I think that's quite a good name for Thursday, right? Yeah, wonderful. Now, Producer Juliet, you come in here. Yes, hello. This is content that you've researched, so we won't bowl over you and claim it as our own like we have done for the rest of the show. Boris Johnson. Yes, Boris Johnson.

Thanks, Juliet. I'll take it for a bit. You finish it off, Ben. Boris Johnson. Yes, Boris Johnson. Thanks, Julian. I'll take it for a bit. You finish it off then. Boris Johnson won. It came on Twitter, Feb 29, announcement that Boris's fiancée, Carrie Simons,

is pregnant. Due early summer, April 29, Carrie Simons has baby. She either announced the pregnancy very late or the baby is quite premature. In the space of six months, Boris has got divorced,

got engaged, had a baby, nearly died. Wow. It's been a big six months, had a baby, nearly died. Wow. It's been a big six months, but a baby takes nine months. So he was still married when he had the, hey, I don't want to go back on the timeline. Who am I? Maybe that's why he always looks a bit frazzled, eh?

I'm running about three different operations, three families here. Oh, okay. History. They say it never repeats. Unless this bit features in a replay form at a later date. This is our homeschooling program. You can win a 12-month Disney Plus subscription if you're our star pupil on at the end of school.

We are going to go to Christchurch. Alistair, welcome, star pupil. Oh, thank you, sir. Making everyone else look horrible. All the other students pale in comparison to you. Who are you playing for, Alistair? We're just playing for myself, eh? Yeah, good, good.

There's not enough people playing for themselves these days. Everyone's trying to pretend to do stuff for other people. Alistair's like, no, no, I want to watch Disney. You've got to take care of yourself, mate. You do. I want to watch Frozen 1, 2 and 3. Is there Frozen 3? Yeah, no, just the second one. Well, I want to have it so I can watch it if it comes out.

Okay, Alistair. Ben is going to hold up historical figures. I'm going to describe them. You have to get six in 60 seconds. The clock starts now. She was born in Morrinsville, leader of the Labour Party. Married to Clark Gayford. Helen Clark. Helen Clark?

No, no. Married to Clark Gayford, current Prime Minister. Yeah. Jacinda. Yeah, I could have started with that. Leader of the free world, the US. He kind of doesn't believe in coronavirus. Said we should inject a death hole to get rid of it.

He used to be on the... Donald Trump. Donald Trump, well done. There's two. Cartoon character, he was the... Was he the uncle? The rich uncle. The rich uncle of the Mighty Ducks.

The little kids. The Mighty Ducks. Donald Duck? No, not Donald Duck. He swam in coins. Lots of money. Anyway, next one. Married to Meghan Markle.

Bloody, the royal guy, Harry. The royal guy, that's right. Won the Tour de France about 22 times. Pumped himself full of steroids. Cyclist, bloody, like Neil Armstrong. Yes, Neil Armstrong. We'll take him. The space guy.

Oh, so close. The royal guy, the bike guy, and all the guys. We got the bike guy, we got the royal guy. We're going to count up here. The scrutineers are going to see if you got six and 60. What did he get? Five. Oh, Alistair.

So close. Rough shot. So close. Rough shot. But I tell you what, it's not rough. Your heart. Oh, what? Thank you.

Your heart. You've got a very special heart. You have a special little man. Love you, Alistair. Love you, man. I don't know if you're little. He's not a dwarf or anything. He's just like a... Okay, you might try to make that sound sincere, but it came out a bit weird. I'm sorry about him, Alistair. Love you, mate. I don't know if you're little. He's not a dwarf or anything. He's just like a...

Okay, you might try to make that sound sincere, but it came out a bit weird. I'm sorry about having Alistair. You have a great day, buddy. All right, love you guys. Look after yourself. If you want to take over now, you can be our new star pupil.

Give us a call. 0800 THE HITS is the phone number. You could take over and you could win that Disney Plus subscription. Do we want to do the star pupil? I mean, sorry, not star pupil, clue. Oh, yes. Let's do that. The clue. We've got a big... Thanks, Producer Juliet. Sorry, I wasn't sure if he was mean, sorry, not star pupil, clue. Oh, yes.

Let's do that, the clue. We've got a big star pupil. Thanks, Producer Juliet. Sorry, I wasn't sure if people were going to forget or not. No, he was going to forget. I was very flustered before that game. You're just showing us up for the shoddy announcers we are. Hey, guys. I was the first celebrity to get pranked by Ashton Kutcher on Pong.

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. English is actually Jono and Ben's second language. Alistair gave it a good crack in the history class, just missed out by one. He did, and if you want to be our star pupil, 0800 the hits is the phone number. Of course, if you are our star pupil at the end of the hour,

you get that year of Disney Plus, Aladdin, Avengers, Avatar, all streaming now. Start your free seven-day Disney trial, Disney Plus trial at DisneyPlus.com. So they've got The Simpsons too. Oh, yeah, so good. They've just bought the world. Yeah.

Disney own the world, don't they? It's great. Lisa, you've managed to call 0800 the hits. How are you? Good morning. I'm great. How are you guys? Good.

I'd take my hat off to you. I can never figure out those word numbers. You know when you're like, call 0800 the hits. I'm like, it takes me about half an hour to go, six! So well done to you, Lisa. You've already had a win today, mate.

Into the English class. Producer Juliet is going to list some words. She's going to give you three definitions for those words. You have to figure out which is the correct one. First word is bumfuzzle. Is this when a bumblebee passes wind? Does this mean being confused, perplexed, or flustered to cause confusion? Or is it the latest dance move, which is on TikTok?

The bum fuzzle. Oh, got it. Let's go with B, confused, perplexed. Well done. I think I've got a bit of bum fuzzle. Constantly. Constantly on bum fuzzle. You are.

You're like, oh, okay. A bit weird, but okay. The second word is snickersnee. So does this mean a grumpy person that has not had their snickers today? Is it high-waisted lacy underwear that comes below the knee? Or is it a long, dangerous knife? Oh, I like all of those, but let's go with C. Well done.

I thought it was a high-waisted lacy underwear that goes below the knee. Those are some long underpants. Big bloomers, eh? All right, well done. You are currently in that pole position for that Disney Plus subscription. Cool. How's your music knowledge, Lise? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I've got two sons, so let's give it a crack. All right, well, you're joining us next for music class. We'll need you there on time, okay? So don't go anywhere. Okay, no worries. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy.

It's Jono and Beryl the Hits. All right, class, time to shove a slobbery, unhygienic recorder in your mouth. It's music. I love it. This is the breakfast radio insight for you. I love it. It's been a radio insight for you. I love it. It's been a long day.

It's 9.27. It's a long day. It's not a long day for anyone else but me. We've got our star pupil back on the phone. Lisa from Auckland. Welcome, Lisa. Hi. Thank you having, Lisa.

Thank you having. Thank you having. In the great words of me, thank you having, Lisa. Okay, Lisa, what's happening now is we're going to play you some songs and we're going to pause and you've just got to complete the lyrics, okay? Okay. Now, let's happening now is we're going to play you some songs, and we're going to pause, and you've just got to complete the lyrics, okay? Okay. Now, let's get a back story. You've got a 12-month Disney Plus subscription on the line here.

Are you playing for yourself? Are you playing for some homeless children? Who are you playing for? No, I'm playing for my two sons, Connor and Riley. Are they homeless? What are they? Well, the 19-year-old needs to clean his room or he might be homeless. Oh, savage burn for mum.

Let's try and get you that Disney Plus subscription. All right, here we go. Here's your first song. Gonna take a lot to take me away from you. There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. Oh, well done, Lisa. Toto Africa, great jam. Well, somebody told me you had a boyfriend

who looked like a girlfriend that I hadn't... February of last year. Oh, my God. Well done. I wouldn't have known that. You wouldn't have got the killers. No, I would have got other words in the song. I wouldn't know February of last year.

Yeah, sometimes when I go to concerts, I, like, pretend I know all the words, but I just end up, like, mumbling words, you know? You're like, somebody told me I had a concerts, I pretend I know all the words, but I just end up mumbling words. You know, you're like, somebody told me, a boyfriend, a girlfriend. But I think everyone, every concert I've ever gone to, it's like, this is the best concert we've been to. You guys have been the greatest. It's always me, because they always say that when I'm there.

I'm the common person. All right, Lisa, you've got one more to get through in your one step closer to that 12-month Disney Plus subscription. Here we go, finish the line. I don't care when I'm with. Here we go. Finish the line. Somebody. Oh, well done. Three from three. Well done, Lisa. Yeah, Ed Sheeran with B. Seen that video?

It's just like shoddy green screen work on that video. Oh, they were on costumes and stuff in front of the green screen, right? Sometimes even Bieber's wearing green on the green screen and he's blended into it. I just like, shoddy green screen work on that video. Oh, they were on costumes and stuff in front of the green screen, right? Sometimes even Bieber's wearing green on the green screen, and he's blended into it. I'm like, did anyone? I felt like their schedule's only aligned for like 10 minutes, and they're like, well, he's just got to film whatever we get. He's in a green T-shirt.

We told him it was a green screen shoot. They're busy guys. We've got them in the same room. Let's just go. Hey, Lisa, next, you've got one more class to get through, and it's speech-related, okay? And then you've got the subscription. Awesome, thank you.

All right, but stick around, New Zealand, because if Lisa falls over on this, you could get that Disney Plus subscription. Is the word subscription being ever said so many times in the space of half an hour? I was probably going to say it. I had to think about how to say it. I don't know how many times I've said subscription.

Disney Plus for a year. It could be all yours next. It is John Owen being on the homeschool. But before we get to that, we've got a big celebrity guest, and here's your next clue. I once left a half-eaten piece of French toast in a restaurant, and the waiter sold it on eBay for $1,025.

Morning! It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. We were just talking off-air while that song was playing about, I heard the other day on the radio they were talking about maybe giving every New Zealander like 1500 bucks to try and stimulate the economy and then I was like you don't want to give everyone cash if you're trying to get people to go into stores or restaurants

Yeah because they might just save it, so Ben had Well no I heard that on the radio, I was like someone said a Prezi card's a great option, the government gives everyone a Prezi card, I thought that was a good option So everyone in New Zealand gets a Prezi card of $1,500. We don't know if this is going to happen or not. Don't take our word for it. So from Jacinda, she's like, dear Ben, love from Jacinda.

Here's your Prezi card, $1,500. I thought it was a good idea. I thought it had some merit. You always forget how much you got on the Prezi card too because you go and you spend a bit and then you have to go on a second time and you're like, oh, close your eyes at the counter because you don't know if you've got, yeah. So, I mean, a Prezi card, because you go and you spend a bit and then you have to go on a second time and you're like, oh, close your eyes at the counter because you don't know if you've got, yeah. So I mean, a Prezi card,

that's an option, mate. That's an option to stimulate the economy. Everyone gets a Prezi card. All right, everybody. Shut up and listen to today's School Ducks. This is our School Ducks. Do you reckon the Prezi card idea is a good way to stimulate the economy, Luce?

Yeah, totally. Everyone gets a Prezi card. She want a Prezi card. Who doesn't want a Prezi card idea is a good way to stimulate the economy, Luce? Yeah, totally. She's taken a Prezi card. She want a Prezi card. Who doesn't want a Prezi card? Exactly. All right. You're playing for a 12-month Disney Plus subscription, the final class. You're the Ducks.

Well, you've made it this far. You need to make a speech, though, a valedictorian speech, and you've got the topic, Ben. Yes, so we put this one out to our Facebook audience who are watching the live stream right now on Facebook Live. What was the exact wording, Producer Juliet?

Do you have that? Yes, I can. Just let me scroll up one second. Why you feel bad for Ben for having to have Jono in his bubble? All right, you've got to talk for 30 seconds. No long pauses.

No ums or ahs. Are you ready? Take it away. I feel so bad for Ben having Jono in his bubble. Did you start with that? No. Okay, keep going.

No. We'll take your word for it. You keep going, Lisa. Okay. I feel so bad for Ben having Jono in his bubble, as I think Ben is always so together and presentable, and Jono gives off that vibe of being so relaxed, I would think he'd be really, really messy.

And at least Jono wouldn't steal his hair products, though, which would be wonderful. Also, Jono would be the slumber baby. Well done. Well done. Lisa, you're still going. You've won it, mate. You've won it, baby.

Well done. Disney Plus, a year on Disney Plus. I don't want to say subscription again, but I have. So there you go. Congratulations. Thank you. That's awesome. You enjoy your day subscription again, but I have. So there you go. Congratulations. Thank you. That's awesome. You enjoy your day.

Keep safe in your bubble. What are you doing? Heading home now. I'm an ops manager for Cooks. I don't know what that is. What is that? It's a metal wire rope and marine product company. Have you been working overnight?

No, no. I just went in this morning, checked the team. We're all good. Got them set up for the day. They're heading home to work from home. Oh, good on you, Lisa. You keep the country going and we'll get on to that Prezi card option, eh? Oh, I reckon it's

a good one. It's a good one. I appreciate it. Exactly. Have a great day, Lisa. We might be on to something. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We was going to start talking, then the thing started to play, and then I was going to back out. Now we're here. You go.

No, I had nothing important to say. Okay, kids, it's time for the five-second rule. Sorry, producer. Take that out of your mouth, Jono. It's not that five-second rule. It's a really fun game. We've actually been playing with our Facebook Live friends on the Hits Breakfast. If you want to join us on Facebook's not that five-second rule. It's a really fun game. We've actually been playing with our Facebook Live friends on the Hits Breakfast,

if you want to join us on Facebook Live, the five-second rule game. So you've just got five seconds to answer three things from the cards. It's hard under pressure, though. So the key is remaining calm.

And we're going to go to Mandy. Welcome. How's Auckland, Mandy? We've got Nicole and her son, Stephen. Oh, Nicole and her son, Stephen and Pocono. Hi.

Famous for its bacon, Pocono. Have you had a Pocono bacon? Oh, no, I heard it's really good. It's really good. You must love bacon. You must be eating bacon all day long, are you? Yep, bacon and pork sausages. Bacon for breakfast, bacon for lunch, bacon for dinner,

bacon for anything. All right, here we go. Name three things you see in the sky at night. Five seconds to answer. Moon. Moon. Moon satellite. Stars, moon, satellite. We'll take it. Alright, next question.

Name three games played with a bat or racket and ball. Cricket. Tennis. And badminton. I'll give it to you. We just got there before the buzzer ended. Name three Crickets Tuna Tuna And bacon Oh give it to you Just got there before the buzzer ended Name three occupations

Nurse Doctor And Policeman Nurse, doctor, policeman That bacon must be doing good things to you Because you've just won Well done

You've got the five second rule Thanks to Planet Fun Nicole and Stephen Oh that's awesome Thank you so much You enjoy that Stay safe in your bubble Now we've got the five second rule Thanks to Planet Fun, Nicole and Stephen Oh that's awesome, thank you so much You enjoy that, stay safe in your bubble Now we've got a big celebrity guest joining us We've been talking about this all hour Do you want to introduce our big guest?

This is very exciting Okay, ladies and gentlemen, via Zoom Is international pop star Justin Timberlake, welcome Justin Well I'm terrible I can't be there in person Obviously everybody's dealing with what they're dealing with In the world Justin Timberlake. Welcome, Justin. Well, I'm terrible at being there in person. Obviously, everybody's dealing with what they're dealing with in the world.

So I hope everyone's safe out there. Thank you, Justin. We really do appreciate that. But unfortunately, we've got to go. So thanks for joining us. Thanks for being on hold that whole hour. We'll reconnect maybe next week or the week after. We'll just see when the producers can book you.

And thank you so much for being part of it. We're back tomorrow from 6 o'clock, 6 a.m., and homeschooling returning from 9 o'clock as well. Have yourself a great day. Keep safe, New Zealand. We'll catch you tomorrow from 6. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app.