Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - August 05 - Big News Small Town, Ben's Wife Dropped A Bombshell, Nicknames For Your Car

Episode Date: August 5, 2020

Ben's wife dropped a bombshell on him and of course Jono managed to turn it dirty... We also had a wonderful family friendly explanation from Jono about how people breed sheep. We also called Dargaville for the A-Z of New Zealand and chatted to a lovely man from the Dargaville Motel. Happy hump day ladies & gents, enjoy the poddy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast today. This is Wednesday today. Lovely day outside, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah, sure. If it's a great day outside, why are you inside listening to a podcast? Yeah, well, maybe you're out and about walking with a podcast or driving around. Well, then, if you are, there's no better podcast to be listening to. Well, there are.

There's lots of them, but don't go searching for them. Have you ever listened to Stuff You Should Know as a podcast? Not for a while, but it's very good. It was quite interesting, but then I think they ran out of stuff that they should have. You know everything now. Yeah. The only thing I remember from listening to a whole season of Stuff You Should Know, the podcast, was my margarita pizza fact.

But I've said it to you many times. We went for Italian in the weekend and I stopped myself from saying it to you. You should have. It's a good fact. We're like an old married couple. I start a story and you're like, oh. There we go. Now the people are wondering what the margarita pizza fact is.

It is a good fact. And I was going to tell the family and I was like, no, I'm not. But you tell it. Yeah. It was not good enough for your family. Well, it's not good enough for the podcast audience. It is. It's a good fact.

But we're here now. We're here. The margarita pizza. You'll notice it has a white mozzarella base on top of the dough. You'll see some red sauce on there as well, won't you? Yeah, you will. And you may even see some greenery too there. Now, a pizza designer back in the day,

otherwise known as a chef, maybe? Yeah, I guess so. Made it for Queen Margarita, who was the Queen of Italy at the time, and the colours are reminiscent and reflective of the colours on the Italian flag. And that's the last time I'm going to say that fact. Because you look like you're dying inside.

The first time I heard that, I found it really interesting. Not the 20th time. No, but that's all right. But there's people listening now that are hearing it for the first time. So I don't want to stop them from going, oh, that's interesting. But then there might be people listening now who have heard it for 15, 20 times as well. So I apologise to them. But if you're a new person to that fact,

well, I hope you enjoy it. And pass it on. Spread the good word. Yeah. Spread the good word. Ben almost spread the good word in a pizza restaurant. Yeah, I know. I did think about it

because I saw the Italian flag and then I was like, oh, no. But it's a great fact. I retain very little information. Yeah, me too. Whenever anyone's like, tell me a joke,

I've got no good jokes. No. No. They're like, oh, you guys think you're funny, tell me a joke. I'm like, I don no no you guys think you're funny tell me a joke i'm i don't have any no nothing for you yeah so yeah maybe you should we should take time to remember one good joke that people ask us that's appropriate for all occasions you know you're like oh i can tell that oh no i can't no no no good fun thing we could do one on the radio maybe message us with

what's one good joke that we can remember for those moments that when people go, oh, you're funny, tell a joke. Well, we're not funny and we don't remember any jokes. So we're very disappointing, if anything. I normally just say Jono and that's my joke.

Anyway, enjoy the podcast. It's a fun one today. The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I need to get serious for a second, guys. A bit of a bombshell. I was dropped with my wife over the weekend,

and I don't know how I feel about this. She told you about us? No, but... Good, because there's nothing going on? Okay, good. She doesn't mention that. No, good, because there's nothing happening. Okay.

Just in case you're wondering. Now, Jono, you've, you know, we've been mates for many years. We've been working together day in, day out for like a decade, and you'll know from hanging out with me, I think you would have observed that I like my oral hygiene. Like I'm often brushing my teeth. He does multiple times a day. He'll brush his teeth at the traffic lights.

You've seen him brush his teeth in the studio. Yeah. There's no location where this man won't brush his teeth. And I also carry around and have done for probably five or six years. I have gum. It's the same brand of gum. It's like a bubble mint sugar-free gum. I like it.

I'll be carrying around, honestly, five or six years, I would buy a few packets a week and I would have gum. I have the same brand of gum. It's like a bubble mint, sugar-free gum. I like it. I've been carrying it, honestly, five or six years. I would buy a few packets a week and I would have that. It's kind of like a little, just to freshen up my breath. If I've got a coffee or whatever, I will take the gum and I like it. I freshen up the breath. I like the smell of it. I tell you what, Ben Boyce has the freshest breath in New Zealand. He blows me to sleep sometimes with that.

Okay. Let's not talk about that. I'll be right. With that fresh breath. With fresh breath. Thank you. Put me to sleep with that. Yeah, it's quite a serious topic,

Giga, too, so you're really derailing this. But yeah, so on the weekend, we were driving back, going on a road trip, and I'd had a coffee, and I put some of the gum

in my mouth, and this is the same gum I've been having, you know, every day for the past five years. And I turn around to talk to Amanda, my wife, and she's like, ooh, would you stop breathing on me with that gum breath? It's disgusting.

And I was like, oh my God, I have been having this gum. This is the same gum every day for five years. She has hated your breath for half a decade. Yeah, it's just really strong. And I was like, it's bubble mint. It's just quite strong and overpowering. Well, you can blow on me, mate.

I just said it. And I was like, oh my God. Have you not brought this up until now? Like, I've been walking around for five, six years having the same thing. And she decides to put it. Sometimes you give her one piece of it. I know, that's the same gum. This is the same gum. She wants a piece and asks for two pieces of the same thing and she decides Sometimes you give her one piece of it. I know, that's the same gum.

That's the same gum. She wants a piece and asks for two pieces of the same gum. And you only hand out one. Yeah, because one's enough because the flavour's quite strong.

I get that now. But it's a wonderful flavour. Imagine if you were cast as Willy Wonka and all the kids came to the factory. Augustus, you can only have one gobstopper.

In fact, no, you can all lick the gobstopper, share the gobstopper. That's enough for everyone. So I was quite rocked by this. So your breath, your wife hates your breath. Well, yeah, I just found it quite overpowering.

And I, you know, as someone who likes oral hygiene, and I was going to say what you said before, but I'm not going to say it. No, let's not go back there. That was a low point. I feel like we can move on from that. If anything, we've dug ourselves a hole. We can't quite get out of this voice break now.

We're all a bit rattled. Juliet, play a song or something. Remember to double pump the virgals. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Jono Trump was interviewed yesterday, quite a lengthy interview with an Australian journalist and a guy by the name of Nick Greco. I think he's won the internet today with the best little thing online at the moment. So he's taken what Trump said and he's added this to it.

Have a listen. So we have a new phenomena. New phenomena. Phenomena. Phenomena. Phenomena. Phenomena. Phenomena.

Phenomena. Phenomena. That's pretty good. It's almost worth voting him back in. Just so we can hear more of that. Not quite. The A to Z of New Zealand. Yeah, it's voting every town and city in Aotearoa.

We're doing this over two and a half years. We're doing it alphabetically. That was the sensible way to do it. We weren't just going to do it higgledy-piggledy. We're working our way through systematically. And today we're heading to Dargaville. Have you heard of Dargaville, Ben? Up north, right?

Yeah, it is up north. You go to northern quite a bit, don't you, over the years? Yeah, the winterless north, they say, even though they do have winter. But anyway. They literally had flooding two weeks ago. Yeah, yeah. 55 k's away from Whangarei is Dargaville. The area is one of the chief regions in the country for cultivating kumara

and cultivating other stuff, if you know what I mean. I mean carrots and potatoes. Oh, yes, I'm with you now. Incredibly rich soil in Dargaville. Fun fact too, Winston Peters went to Dargaville High School. Did you know that? I knew he was from up north, but I didn't know he went to Dargaville High School. Yeah, I was just at the turn of the Jurassic period then,

so Winston Peters went to Dargaville High School. Yeah, I was just at the turn of the Jurassic period then, so I went to St Pete's at Duggarville High School. He was head boy and you were deputy, I think. Alright, let's go through to Duggarville. Good morning, Duggarville Motel. There he is. How are you? Hi, how are you? Oh, we're good. Where are the kids? I don't have any kids.

Okay, Johnny is trying to make light chat, chit chat. It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. Oh, okay. Yeah, we're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We're doing it alphabetically, and today is Dargaville's turn. Fine. Yes, it's a lovely little town. Oh, yeah, what do you do there?

I'm a motel. I answered it, Dargaville Motel. Oh, right, okay, sorry. Don't get all salty with me. He's not listening. He's trying to talk to you about stuff that you don't have. I'm a motel, I answered it, Dargaville Motel. Oh, right, okay, sorry. Don't get all salty with this thing. He's trying to talk to you about stuff that you don't have. Now, what else, what would you recommend we do,

apart from staying at the Dargaville Motel? What else would you recommend? You could go and visit our Dargaville Museum and our Vintage Farm Machinery Museum. A lot of cowdy woods there, eh, around? A lot of cowdy woods around, yeah. Tony Mahuta. Tony Mahuta, the big tree. Oh, yes, the very famous tree, yeah.

Yeah. Or the Dagobah Bailey's Beach, Kaiebi Lake. Very popular during the summertime. Oh, yeah. A lot of people go water skiing and wakeboarding on the lakes, don't they? Yeah, they do, yeah. Do you get in your speedos and get out there and give it a good run? I don't get a chance, mate.

I'm too busy here at the motel. What do you do? I'm at the motel. What motel? You're winding him up. I wreck the motel. Which motel's that're winding him up. I'm at the motel. Which motel's that one? Dargaville Motel.

Oh, okay. I'll start a few more times if it's only here. It's advertising. Yeah, keep plugging it. Yeah, you want my phone number as well, or have you got it? Yeah, chuck that in there as well. What number are you at the Dargaville Motel? Oh, jeez.

You know it's a motel. How is business at the moment? Is it going okay? Yeah, it's going pretty good, yeah. Oh, good. Good, yeah. People stimulating the economy out Yeah, it's going pretty good, yeah. Oh, good. Good, yeah. People stimulating the economy out there, mate? They must be, yes.

They keep coming into town. Oh, that's really good. What do they say to you? Hello, how are you? Wonderful language. Wonderful language. Beautiful words. Touching words.

Now, apparently, Tigerville has about two-thirds of New Zealand's kumara. Yes. Yeah. I'm not a kumara fan. Oh, I love it. Yes, so do I. Yeah, it's good. And the kumara chips, the roast, oh, it's so good.

Yes. Yeah, oh, very good. It's lovely up there, isn't it? It is. My mum lives in Russell, so a lovely spot. Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll have to come through Dargaville on the way up next time.

Yeah, I'll call in, say hi. Have you met Jenny? I'd like to meet Jenny. I bet you would. I bet you would. I bet you would. Then you might have some kids on your hands. We'll get to that later. All right, wrapping this up now.

Lovely talking to you. You have a great day. I will. Same to you, fellas. See you, buddy. Okay. Serving bowls of lollies for breakfast. Actual lollies may not be served.

It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Ben, I know you probably get to bed a bit earlier than you used to doing this job. What time do you usually put that sweet, sweet head down on the hats. Ben, I know you probably get to bed a bit earlier than you used to doing this job. What time do you usually put that sweet, sweet head down on the pillow? I try and get there these days because we're up about four. I try to get there any time from 8.30 onwards, yeah, 39 o'clock, around about that time. 8.30, 9 o'clock? Try to.

It doesn't always work out that way. Like last night, that didn't work out. What are you sleeping? Are you boxers? Describe it to me. Silky Looney Tunes boxer short. I've always got some. You usually got a

novelty pair of pyjama pants and a t-shirt. Something with the Simpsons on it or something like that. I have the wardrobe of a seven year old boy most the time. So I normally wear a t-shirt and some pyjama pants like that. Oh lovely. Well because I'm going to bed earlier than Jen, my wife,

because she goes to work a bit later. But then I always find that I wake up in the morning and she's texted me stuff that she would have spoken to me about in person,

but because I'm asleep she can't. Yeah. So this is the way we communicate now. She texts me at night. I don't even hear the phone next to me buzz off

and then I wake up in the morning and go, oh, okay, she wants me to pick up some smoke alarms today. Gotcha. Which it was a conversation that you would have face to face. Now, is this spelled good things for a marriage or bad things that we can just purely get by with texting each other? Well, I guess it's probably using the available technology, you know, because she obviously can't talk to you.

If you were at home and you could talk and she was just texting you, then things have made you quite rocky in your relationship. The bad thing is, though, is like I can't use the excuse of, you didn't tell me that. You know, like when you've had a conversation, you're like, I can't remember you telling me that.

I thought you were going to do this. Yeah, no, no, you didn't say that to me. But now it's in black and white on my phone. She's got evidence that she has told me to do something. What you need to do though when you get up just before 4 o'clock in the morning, you need to text her back going, oh sorry can you pick them up? And just send it

back the other way. You think you can lob the ball this way? Well I can lob it straight back. I might struggle a little bit today on that. Is it alright if you go, oh sorry I told you. And then she won't reply back because she won't get the message until after 7. And my other skill too is when you go to bed is I can You go, oh, well, sorry, I told you. And then she won't reply back because she won't get the message until after seven. And my other skill, too, is when you go to bed is I can go to sleep in 90 seconds.

90 seconds or less now. How about you, Producer Juliet? Oh, I'm the exact same. I'm out like a light as soon as I go to bed. Yeah, that's narcolepsy. It's the worst skill to have as a superhero. What can he do? He can't fight, but he can fall asleep in an instant. Wake up, wake up.

We're in the middle of a battle. Iron Man's texting you going, hey, thanks for your help on that one, mate. You wake up, you're like, oh, I missed that one. Can you pick up some alarmists on the way home anyway? Eggs for breakfast? It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now these are the news stories that are broken overnight,

so nothing screams up-to-date current events like Jono and Ben blindly navigating their way through stories they've only read the first paragraph of. It's a bit like that today but here we go. I only ever read

the first paragraph of a story and I form a pretty rock-solid opinion after three lines. I find myself going oh did you see da-da-da and then people go

oh and they ask further questions and I'm like oh. No you're across Ben Boyce is across everything but only the very top line of the subject. It's like, no follow-up questions, please.

I'll just tell you these things, and you won't follow up with any questions. But it's good because you can lead someone in to fill in the rest of the details. You're a conversation starter. Starter. You're not a finisher. No.

You don't get him in the nitty and gritty. He's not going to roll his sleeves up and talk about detail. And I'm not an impact player. You wouldn't bring me on late in the game to really close something out. He'll kick the ball off. Yeah. And leave it to the pack.

Run away. The MPs in New Zealand. Did you see? What are they doing, mate? They've been asked to delete their TikTok accounts. So these are the New Zealand politicians. There's a lot of security breaches, concern about security for TikTok.

Oh, because it's worldwide at the moment. There's a Chinese company that run it, and you actually did a little bit of research. The one time you did some research into this, and the Chinese government, they have a law, being a communist state, that whatever Chinese company, it doesn't have to be owned by the government, is run out of China, that the government can have access to all their information, all their databases, all the sensitive company information.

And so that's concerning the Western world. Yeah, it's not saying they're going to have access to it, information, all their databases, all the sensitive company information. And so that's concerning the Western world. Yeah, it's not saying they're going to have access to it, but you're right. If the government chooses to at any stage, they have to hand over those details, like an audit sort of thing. So they'll hand those over. So the MPs in New Zealand are concerned about this.

So they have been told all to delete their accounts. Oh my God, what MPs have TikTok accounts? Jeez. Not too many. Even Chloe Swarbrick. Has she got one? Even the Green Party MP. I mean, Chloe Swarbrick's probably early 20s, right? She's in the age where she could have one and it would be acceptable. She said, I feel like even I'm

too old for it, as far as TikTok goes. And David Seymour from the ACT Party, he said, I once did a dance for a TikTok video and it was the most dangerous thing I've ever done involving TikTok. And now the government in China has all that information. And he twerked on Dancing with the Stars. He's done some dangerous

stuff. In the dancing world. So there you go. New Zealand as well. This is not great things for New Zealand stereotypes but we're exporting the world's cutest sheep in sort of... Seed form. Yeah, seed form.

Thank you. How do they extract sheep seed? Who has to do that job? I don't know whose job that is. Who gets up in the morning and goes, oh, it's been a day doing this? There's probably someone listening to the show right now doing that. Yeah. And God bless you.

I don't know how you're doing it, but you're doing God's work. Well, these sheep have proved a hit online. They're really cute. They've sort of got shaggy ears and a white fluffy fleece as well, shaggy fringes. And apparently the world's cutest sheep. We've got a few of them in New Zealand. So now we've exported the seed to Canada and now we're doing it to the US.

Where's the, show me a picture of the sheep. Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's cute. That's a hot sheep. Yeah, yeah. That's a hot sheep. Yeah, yeah. That's a hot sheep. Yeah, well, it's no good for New Zealand stereotypes, all right?

Do you know we have 60 million sheep in New Zealand? 60 million! Oh, that is adorable. Yeah, they're pretty cute, eh? Yeah. It's like something you'd see off a cartoon. Oh, they are cute! Yeah, they're really cute.

So you can see why we want to get that out. I can see why we're siphoning seed out of them. Okay, we might wrap it up there. Some poor human being is having to wake up every day and extract that out of those little sheep. How are they doing it? No, I don't know. Someone can text us through 4487.

It might not be for radio, but just for Jono's follow-up questions, which I can't answer again. No, because you've only read the first paragraph of the story. And that's scrolling through your feed this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

The 5th of August, and that is Dolly Parton Day. Oh, we should celebrate Dolly Parton Day after 7 o'clock. We are, actually. We're celebrating with GHD and giving you a chance to win a GHD Rise, which is worth over $300, so you can get a Dolly-inspired look. More with that after 7 o'clock. Oh, I love Dolly Parton Day.

It's my favourite day in the calendar year. Ahead of my wedding day, the birth of my children, comes Dolly Parton Day. It's right up there for me, too. I'm glad we're finally celebrating it. It's top 10 for me. I don't know if it's top 10. It's top 10. It's top 10 for me. But't know if it's Yeah but top 10 It's top 10

It's top 10 for me But an awesome prize So yeah we'll be giving that away After 7 Ben you know Just moments ago In the scrolling through your feed Part of the show

Where we bring people up to date With the news overnight And New Zealand Is extracting seed From what is being labelled The cutest sheep In the world They're very cute

Oh it's an adorable little sheep I know that's bad For New Zealand radio right now For our two announcers from New Zealand to go, oh, they're cute sheep. If I could marry that sheep, I would. Because that could be taken out of context. Yeah, I don't care if it is.

I would do things to that sheep. Okay, no. Anyway, they're talking about extracting the seed of the sheep so they can take it overseas and they can breed their own version of this particular sheep. And we're like, how does that happen? And someone has just texted through 4487. Do I want to hear this?

A link. I'll try and tell it in a family-friendly voice. Mate, we're family-friendly guys. We're just a couple of dads who love household shopping. No filth and smut on this program. Thank you. Okay, we'll bear that in mind to explain how this happens. Anyone can listen to this program.

That's what we're trying to make the show. Big shout-out to the Pope and the Vatican, too, who's tuning in this morning. I know he's a regular listener because he knows nothing's going to offend him on this program. Good. Even when we dance around the details of this. All right, well, good luck.

So what they do is they get the sheep into a, they've got like a bit of a flirty sheep who they send out and they're like, hey, ooh. Oh, really? Yeah, they sort of entice. A provocative sort of sheep. A provocative sheep. I don't know if I'm sluzzish shaming a sheep here,

but that's her main role. A minx. Is a minx the right word? She's like, hi, boys. We're like, ooh, I haven't seen you have these parts before. You ready for a good time? I'm new in the paddock.

You're like, ooh, okay, yeah. And then so then there's a human who sits on the sidelines. They're like, oh, okay, old Barry, he's up for it. Really? And then Barry makes his way over. And he's like, I'd like to look at you. And she's like, hi, big boy.

Would you like to procreate? Now you've put the boys. And I don't know why the sheep's smoking. The sheep's smoking in this hypothetical situation. And so then Barry's like, oh, I'll hop on that. So the person's on the sideline watching. The person's on the sideline sort of guiding it. Expectators.

Humans like the coach on the sideline. And they sort of help Barry up. And it can be over as quickly as three to four seconds. Really? Yes. Why does the human have to get involved? Why can't they just let nature do its thing? For catchment.

Oh, yeah. Oh, of course. Otherwise, yes. Put them in the New Zealand cricket team. They're catching. And that's how it's, yeah. So they sort of awkwardly interrupt. They do.

They're sort of like, yeah. Oh, yeah, you're great. And yeah, we'll just come and take it from here. Yeah, it's like a spectator sport. And I imagine just having a third party watching you.

Oh, are you here the whole time? And what do you want to do? Oh, you want to, okay.

All right. Really getting yourself involved in this. So that's how they do it. That's pretty enough to speak. I'm glad we got there.

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, a game show where you don't call us, we call you. The game show's called Don't Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, a game show where you don't call us, we call you.

The game show's called... Don't call us, we'll call you. We pounce on you when you least expect it, like a wild mountain cat. And today we're going to go through to Gisborne. Ask four questions for $40 worth of hell pizza. Sure, fresco. I'm not allowed to kiss speaking. Is that Kath? Yes. Oh, Kath, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. It's lovely to hear your dulcet tones this morning.

Okay. They are beautiful, beautiful sweet tones that you're getting out of your mouth there, Kath. Right. Right, now, this is our game show. It's called Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. Because you didn't phone us, right? No. No? If anything, you sound

bamboozled. We phoned you. I am a bit, yes. Well, we've got four quick questions for you and you got some hell pizza you could win just by answering them. Okay. Ready to play the game? Why not? What is there to lose in this life, Cat?

Absolutely. The world's crumbling down around us with the pandemic and Cat's answering novelty questions in Gisborne. Yeah, why not, eh? First question, Judith Collins. She's the leader of the National Party. What is her nickname? A, is it Rudy Judy?

B, Nudie Judy? Or C, Crusher Collins? Crusher Collins. That's right. There you go. $10 health pizza just like that. Here's your next question. I didn't finish this third option. It's marijuana.

Yeah. You're controversial for you to pick the third one. That was a half-formed answer. Well done. $20, how it beats it? Australia's parliament is located whereabouts?

A, inside a eucalyptus tree, B, inside a koala, or C, Canberra? Canberra. Oh,

yeah, Canberra. Are these the easiest questions you've ever Absolutely are. Yeah? Yeah. You bet you're glad

you embarked on this journey with us. Hell yeah. Final question for $40 Hell Pizza. Gisborne's unofficial slogan. Is it A, gizzy hard, B, get some gizzy up ya, or C, gizzy, gizzy, gizzy, oi, oi, oi? Gizzy hard. Gizzy hard. You like Gizmond Cat?

Love it. Yep. Well done. $40 worth of hell pizza. Oh, beauty. Okay then. Yeah. What have you got planned for the rest of the day?

Oh, well, we've got a motel, so yeah, busy, busy, you know. Busy, busy, busy. Oi, oi, oi. Yeah. Busy hard. And tell me, Rhythm and Vines must be a nightmare, all the crazy, fueled-up millennials staying in your place, Kat. We don't do it anymore, because that, exactly.

Oh, out of control, was it? Yeah, a little bit. I can imagine so, yeah. What did you have to clean up? Kat, you tell us. Oh, Jesus. You don't want to go there? Don't want to go there.

Well, I have gone there. Do you want me, shall I get out of there? Yeah, I think you're going to have to get out of there. All right. Okay, well, we'll leave you to be. We'll leave you to clean up the crazed millennials mess. Okay. You hold the line.

We'll get your details, send you out that price. Cool, righto. All right, Kat. It's all thanks to Hell Pizza, serving the best damn pizza in this lifetime and the next. Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Mike Hosking's car, we still have his Jaguar I-Pace.

We've still got his fancy car. His fancy, you almost swore there, Ben. But you saved yourself. I can't believe we've still currently got it in our possession. He's been very accommodating, Mike Hosking. I think he's forgotten he had a Jaguar. That's how wealthy he is. Yeah.

He forgot he had a car last week and now he's just got a brand new European car. Driving around in it, because after eight o'clock you'll hear us when we drive around with Stan Walker.

You know, we do our own version of carpool karaoke. It's really quiet. The car's so quiet. Well, because it's electric. I didn't know Hosking would drive an electric car.

Yeah, a fully electric car, but I wouldn't have thought, yeah, yeah. I thought it was fuel. I thought his car would be fuelled on the tears of the poor people. Yeah. I kept thinking you'd stalled it because you were driving. So silent.

It was so, yeah, really quiet, fully electric. It's almost disturbingly silent, having a car make zero noise. I want something else rather than just my thoughts driving around, but it's an awesome car, the Jaguar I-Pace, and you could borrow it. We've put together a whole package to live like Mike. I'll explain more on that very shortly, but right now, let's recap everyone on our magical journey so far with this wonderfully quiet

car. We are down at the garage here at NZME. Super City Towing here. The Jaguar is up. See you later, guys. There we go. Let's have it off. And we're taking it. We replaced his car with a red Labour car. You stole my car. It's mine. We forgot to get the keys. Oh, you want me now to give card. You stole my car. It's mine. We forgot to get the keys.

You want me now to give you the key to my car. We've got the keys. We've got the car. Jono had the car and he took it to the drags in Merrimerdy. We're in the heart of Bougainville and we're about to take this car out. If I know Mike Hosking like I do, he would just love this right now. I'm the king!

Our shaky millennial producer Max is out there dressed as a chauffeur. I'll pick up my... He's picked up an entire kindergarten. Jackie and both her kids are in the car right now. Might I say for this Uber ride, there's no soilage fee. If anything, extra points if you soil. So we have got the car and if you want to win it, you want to live like Mike, we've put together a really awesome pack,

a weekend where you can live like Mike. All the things that Mike Hosking would enjoy doing, not only driving around. The car is yours for the weekend, the Jaguar I-Pace. You've got two nights luxury accommodation in Matakana. Is that at his estate? I don't think it's at his estate, but I think he does live out somewhere that way.

Yeah, he has an estate. I think if, yeah, Mike would have you at his estate. Yeah, I'm sure he would. Stay there for the weekend. He'll probably chalk it up as his charitable work for 2020 and claim the tax back on this whole campaign. There's dinner for two at Chibo in Paine. A very fancy restaurant.

A new set of loafers, so you can walk around in the shoes of Mike Hosking and a Dyson cordless vacuum cleaner as well because he loves cleaning. Yeah, every morning he fastidiously cleans the Newstalk ZB studio from top to bottom so you can be as clean as and as

stylish as and as full as Mike Hosking driving around in his fancy Jaguar. The hits.co.nz is the website after 7 o'clock, actually. Max, Millennial Max. Oh, I've just given him a nickname. Millennial Max. That's good.

Remember I wanted to call Juliette because she's a Millennial. Milju. Yeah, but you have to explain it every time because Millennial and Millennial Max. Millennial Max works well. Milju and Millennial Max. Yeah, I know. We're past the Mildew. You thought there was Jewish slag going on.

My mate did. He was like, is she Jewish? Yeah. We thought we'd better cease on the Mildew. But Millennial Max works well. It's going to be out after 7 o'clock. And we thought, what a great way to make the people happy than deliver coffees.

Like literally 50 coffees in the car balanced on the back of the seat. Yeah, a workplace shout. We might do that after 7 o'clock today in Mike Hosking's fancy Jaguar I-Pace. Don't forget to head to thehits.co.nz if you want to live like Mike. New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them.

They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Spy the What's Up by doco.nz. From Hollywood, California to Hollywood Bakery, Cambridge, producer Juliet's got all the gossip. Welcome to Spy. Thank you. So the staff at the Ellen DeGeneres show have given her a new nickname called Talk Show Karen.

That's the new nickname going around for old Ellen over there because, as you may or may not know, the Karens of the world are the people that would complain to the managers who are quite high maintenance. So that's her new nickname, apparently. Talk show Karen. Well, they're deep diving into Alan's career and they're like fishing for all the

horrible things she's done throughout her career. And there's a video that's resurfaced. We've seen it before, Ben, where she basically got the live audience and before the show she had like a hidden camera prank, essentially, where she basically got the live audience and before the show she had like a hidden camera prank essentially where she had like tables

of Ellen merch t-shirts and coffee mugs and what not that everyone could go and grab one you know one t-shirt one coffee mug and one lady grabbed

two t-shirts and two coffee mugs for a sister who's a big fan and couldn't come along and Ellen roasted her. In front of everyone. It was quite awkward.

I remember seeing it a few years ago. I go, this was quite awkward. You're the kind of person, like, when you go trick-or-treating and nobody's home, you don't just take the bowl. You just walk away. No. No. Listen, I really, I'm sorry.

That's embarrassing and everything, but, you know, let that be a lesson to you because you think nobody's watching you and know, let that be a lesson to you because you think... It is. You think nobody's watching you and you just need to be a good person just because you want to be a good person. You go sit in that Ellen jail over there right now.

Then she shamed her by putting her in a comical prison for the remainder of the show. So that's resurfaced. We spoke to a lady from BuzzFeed yesterday, Kayleen, who's been following the Ellen DeGeneres story, been speaking to former staff members about the scandal. And this is what she said. Dozens and dozens of former employees have told me an issue they had was not only is it difficult for them to have dealt with a toxic work environment, but the fact that they felt like they were keeping this big secret because of the be kind messaging that Ellen profits off

of and has built an entire brand around. I remember when Ben dyed his hair blonde, he looked like Ellen DeGeneres. Didn't you? You look fantastic. I did. Ellen DeGeneres or Draco Malfoy. Yeah. Oh, bring that back. I enjoyed it. Bring back the blonde. You said it was too much maintenance though,

didn't you? Yeah, well, because it was quite short and so I got it quite, yeah, quite blonde and, you know, the regrowth happens pretty quickly when your hair's pretty short. Yeah, true. I enjoyed it. It was fun. It was fun. Did you get it re-dyed at all? Did you keep up the boots? I did. I think we went back once again and got it re-dyed and then after that I was like, oh, this is a lot

of work. But it was fun. Mints and cheese hair. Love it. Those are his Ellen DeGeneres years. He wouldn't want to be mimicking her nowadays. It wasn't like I went, I want to look like Ellen. No, it's just what you just said. Sat on the barber chair, make me look like Ellen DeGeneres. And Neil Young is suing Donald Trump for using his music at a rally.

So this is one of the songs that he used. Keep on rockin' the free world. a rally. So this is one of the songs that he used. And so he's taking him to court and attempting to sue him. And there are a bunch of other celebrities who have spoken out and banned Donald Trump from using their music. But he is the first to actually take this one to court. Rolling Stones did the same, didn't they?

Mick Jagger seized Donald Trump. I think Kid Rock is the only artist who lets Donald Trump play his music oh really yeah I don't know what Kid Rock song he plays

what's that one no what's the that's no it's a rip off of that yeah all summer long yes that's the one we were barely 17

John and Ben vaguely remember Kid Rock songs or they might have done bar with the bar the bag I saw a photo of Kid Rock in the goddamn

Oval Office with Donald Trump. Really? I was like, mate, if anyone doesn't deserve to be in the Oval Office, it's the greasy slime wizard.

Weasel of Kid Rock. Yeah. You think I'm the Kid Rock of this show, don't you? Say I'm a greasy little weasel like Kid Rock.

Wonderful, wonderful. Compliments all around. Anyway, there you go Donald Trump, eh? What a guy What a guy

For more spy, head to the hits.co.nz Morning It's Jono and Ben on the hits It's time for the big news Small town We take a look at the bigger news stories From the smaller regions in New Zealand These are the stories that the mainstream news organisations

TVNZ, 3 News, LGZero, CNN, they would overlook, not us, Ben. Some may say we've got too much time on our hands and others would say we're details people. Yeah, so where's the news coming out of this morning in the small town? From Timaru, the Timaru Herald, where the town clock has really fallen out of flavour with the people. They spent $20,000 on running repairs of the clock

and it's still telling the wrong time. Yeah, they suck on 5.45pm I think. Yeah, I mean the whole town is turning up late to appointments. It's an absolute nightmare. Now apparently the clock's balls have been playing up. The ball bearings not running

as smoothly as they're designed to. Right. And they're needing to grease up the clock. Okay. And that's the issue. So we love a giant clock though, don't we? Oh, we do, yeah. So we thought we'd go through it to someone in South Canterbury

because they'd all be very upset about this, right? They'd all be livid. This is Miss Timaru, a retailer in Timaru. Good morning, Miss Timaru. Mel speaking. Oh, Mel, it's Jono and Ben here from the big news small town. How are you, Mel? Good, thank you.

You're good. Stuffed the clock. No good, though. Yeah, no. No, it never works. Oh, does it work? So you don't know what the time is right now? No, not really.

At least you know it's right at least two times over a 24-hour period. Yeah, that's true. And $20,000 has been spent on greasing the clock up, greasing the parts, re-greasing it, lubing the clock up, bearings, they're getting examined. $20,000, that's coming at your cost. Your thoughts? I don't really want to say too much.

You haven't really put a lot of thought to it. Which is fine. We often find this is the case. Things become headlines and then you ring the town and they're like, oh, it doesn't really bother me either way. Yeah. No, you still take along either way. For the sake of our news story, we need to be a little bit more sensationalist.

So if you could be like, oh, I'm outraged. Can you just say that for me? I'm so outraged. So outraged. I can't believe they would do this to the people of Timaru. Say that. Oh, okay. What do I have to say? You just go, oh, I can't believe they'd do this to the people

of Timaru. I can't believe they'd do this to the people of Timaru. I'm alarmed, even though it's not an alarm clock. You're still alarmed. Anyway, don't do that one. This is just a brainstorm. I was going to say, we're getting a bit cheeky. Do you ever look at the clock?

I've never once gone, what's the time? I better go and find a town clock to check. Well, mind you, you can see it as you walk around Timaru, so it's a little bit different. You do tend to, your eyes drift towards it, I guess. Do you find looking up at the clocks quite time-consuming? It's not too bad. Okay, that's good.

I just wondered what it'd be like. Would you say you're ticked off by this clock nonsense? Oh, completely ticked off, yeah. And with the clock, it's on borrowed time. Yeah, definitely. Well, you've been our consumer watchdog. Okay, so is it money? So finally, we'd better wrap this thing up.

Do you think it's money well spent fixing the clock? Or are you happy to just have it tell the wrong time? Oh, no, it doesn't bother me either way, to be fair. Again, we're going back to that thing where you need to be angry. Remember? Oh, I'm so angry. They shouldn't spend that money. She's curious.

Well, this has been a good way to pass time. Yeah, hasn't it though? Thank you to the internet for those wonderful puns. Awesome, cheers. You look after yourself in Timaru. You guys too. Love your work. Bye-bye.

Thank you, Small Town Clock. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. What we're doing right now, Ben Boyce, is sharing a glimpse into our personal lives. Right. Okay, they tell us to do that off-air, don't they?

Yeah. Share your personal content. But over the last 24 hours, I honestly thought I had been going bonkers. Right. So in the middle of the night, what would have been Monday night, it was Tuesday yesterday,

I just hear this faint beeping. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And you know, there's no worse moment in a human being's life than when the, a lot of smoke alarm goes, all the batteries running low

on the smoke alarm in the middle. Or you just hear anything in the night. Yeah. And then you're like, a ticking clock is something for me. If I'm staying in a place that's got a ticking clock, I can hear the ticking clock

and you're like, I've got to take the batteries out of that clock. Wherever it is in the house, I'll go through and take the batteries out. That's been the result of many people, many of your friends turning up late for work. Do you take the batteries out of their clock? Yeah, it's a ticking clock.

It just gets louder and louder in my head. But it's always the stages of denial because I'm always like, oh, I'll just pretend to go back to sleep and hope that Jen sorts it out. Yeah, right. But that didn't happen on this case. And it just kept going and going and going.

So I knew it wasn't in the house, but it was just a faint beeping. So I was like, well, I'll leave it. I go to work early in the morning. That can be someone else's problem. Yeah, it's like you when you walk past the cats you're around on the floor and you're like, I didn't see that in the morning. Definitely did not see that.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with that at 7 o'clock in the morning when you got up. And I might have seen it and spoken about it on the radio. But for the purpose of this argument, I didn't see it. But then I got home yesterday after work and it was still going. I was like, this is, okay, someone needs to pull pin on this. So then I was hunting all over the house like a madman, looking through bushes. I jumped over the neighbour's fence to see if their alarm was running flat. So you got rid of any smoke alarms or anything?

No. Right. No, nothing. Right. And so I'm literally, I'm looking under the car. I'm looking under cupboards. I'm in the garden. I'm digging up dirt in the garden.

Yeah. You know, like you remember Homeland, Carrie on Homeland, who really got caught up in her investigation. Yeah. And then eventually, I track the noise to the recycling bin, and I'm like, it's in here. And then I get my phone, because I'm like, this is great personal radio content. Great audio.

Yeah. And then it's halfway down the bin. Some monster, some pranky monster in the neighbourhood has put the smoke alarm in our rubbish bin. It's amazing it's going off. I think it was that situation of the battery obviously running so flat. So I'm hoping, this is what I'm hoping, that a friendly neighbour was like,

oh, this is rubbish, my bin's too full, I'll chuck it in here. And then the battery's gone dead flat. And then I guess this is what happens in that instance. Because they do that thing when the batteries go flat where they just get that beep, and then they kind of, every few minutes, they go beep, another beep. That's, yeah, there's...

And then, you know, the beeps happen in gaps. And an old flat, a guy that I know, his flatmate put under his mattress, like inside the under of the mattress, put a smoke alarm, and it started just going beep when the batteries, and drove this guy nuts. Because you'd never look under your mattress. No, and it was up under the mattress, put a smoke alarm, and it started just going beep in the batteries and drove this guy nuts. Because you'd never look under your mattress.

No, and it was up under the mattress. And so just go off at night, he went, there's that beeping noise again, and looking all around his room, and then it would go off five minutes later, go beep, and this drove him nuts for like two days. The guy that originally did it had forgotten that he'd put it under there.

He goes, oh yeah, that's right, I put that under there. When he eventually went, what is this noise in there? Didn't he have another one in a drawer too? Yeah, so he found that one. That's a long play in the prank game, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. More painful than your alarm clock.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Today is officially Dolly Parton Day. Today is officially Dolly Parton Day. And we're celebrating with the new GHD Rise. Shush your lips, shush your lips. We're celebrating Dolly Parton Day. We've never celebrated Dolly Parton Day. I didn't know it was a thing, but now I know it's a thing.

Every year on August 5th, I'm going to celebrate Dolly next year. We're going to celebrate Dolly Parton Day. I love this, because to celebrate, GHD are giving you the chance to win the GHD Rise, which is worth over $300. You can create a dolly-inspired look from the comfort of your own home. It gives you added shape, body, and fullness that will last from nigh to far, which is a great little line there from GHD.

It's the 3D Volume Smart Hot Brush. If you want to win it, owe $800 to the hits. I got deep into a whole of Dolly Parton research. She looks fantastic for her age, doesn't she? She looks permanently surprised, but looks fantastic. But do you know she's been married to her husband for 54 years? Wow. And they've only been photographed together in public a couple of times.

So I don't know if she's embarrassed of him, like you are of me. You try and keep me hidden away. Or maybe he just likes the private life. He does. He likes anonymity. He never wanted to be... Well, I guess that's her career, so it's his choice, right? She once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike competition. She entered as a laugh and...

Oh, she didn't win? Yeah. Someone else would look more like Dolly Parton than her. There's a rumour that she's got full sleeve tattoos, but you never see her. I think it's because you never really see her arms because she's always wearing something coming up, but I don't think that's true.

Well, there's a rumor too. We started that Jacinda Ardern had a full back tattoo as well. Which we asked her and it wasn't true. She had to deny those claims. So here's how it's going to work. We've got this awesome GHD rise worth over $300, thanks to GHD, for Dolly Parton Day. We're going to give that to the first caller

unless we get a Jolene on the phone. Now, let's go to line five, eh, Producer Juliet? We've got a full board, I see. You all call up now, do you? Yeah, well, it's a great prize. We've got a hair straightener to give away. Susan. You wouldn't understand.

You wouldn't understand. Yeah, I do. Welcome, mate. How are you? Oh, fine, thanks. How's your hair? Does it need volume? Does it need rise?

Oh, yeah, it needs everything. Well, this GHG rise is yours, but the one condition is we're going to play Jolene from Dolly Parton. If we get to the end of the song and an actual Jolene hasn't rung up to steal it off you, it's yours. If not, we're going to give it to the Jolene, okay? Okay. You just need to hold out for two minutes and 40 seconds.

So any Jolenes listening right now, 0800 THE HITS, you can come right now and call us and savagely take these hair appliances off Susan. Off you, though, we will be asking for a proof of you are a Jolene. You'll need to send us something with your actual name on it. And what's your credit card details too? And the three-digit pin on the back. Not necessarily that, but something to prove that you are a Jolene

so you're not making it up. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Susan! You got the GHD here straight. Now, someone is on the phone. Oh, go to line one, producer Juliet. Line two, apparently. Oh, have we got a Jolene on the phone? Hello, the hits.

Hello. Are you Jolene? Yeah, Jolene. You phone? Hello, The Hits. Hello. Are you Jolene? Yeah, Jolene. You're literally two seconds too late. Oh, you almost snaked it off Susan. I don't even know what the prize was. Oh, you savage. She didn't care what it was as long as she stole it off Susan.

Like Jolene tried to steal Dolly Parton's man. Oh, well, Susan, well done. I do have green eyes. Oh, thank you. Sorry, Jolene tried to steal Dolly Parton's man. Oh, well, Susan, well done. I do have green eyes. Oh, thank you. Sorry, Jolene. Well, you did well. Jolene, you almost won a GHD rise, but Susan's got that. So worth over $300.

Okay. Sorry. Good on you. I didn't even know what it was. I just wanted to take it off Susan. You've got to call the hits right now. Why? I don't know.

Just call your Jolene call. Hey, well done, Susan. Happy Dolly Part call the hits right now. Why? I don't know. Just call. Your Jolene call. Hey, well done, Susan. Happy Dolly Parton Day. Those are words I thought I'd never say. Oh, we're going to go to line three. Producer Humphrey's saying words. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. We've got three Jolenes.

Have we? Three Jolenes have phoned through. All five seconds too late. Sorry, Jolene. Oh, righty-o. How gutted are you? Bye. Thoughts and feelings, emotions running high

Oh It's a brutal walkout A reality TV storm off there The Jolines were just a little bit too late Susan gets the GHD rise Over $300 thanks to Jazz Well done Not a morning person

Sadly, neither of these two It's Jono and Ben on the hits For a week we've had Mike Hosking's fancy Jaguar I-Pace. We stole it. We got it towed from the work garage, and here's what's happened so far. We are down at the garage here at NZME. Super City towing here.

The Jaguar is up. See you later, guys. There we go. It's happening. And we're taking it. We replaced his car with a red Labour car. You stole my car. It's mine.

We forgot to get the keys. You want me now to give you the key to my car? It's my ass. We forgot to get the keys. You want me now to give you the key to my car? We've got the keys. We've got the car. Jono had the car and he took it to the drags in Merrimerdy. We're in the heart of Bougainville and we're about to take this car out. If I know Mike Hosking like I do, he would just love this right now. Thunder!

Woo! Thunder! Hey, we just love this right now. Woo! Our shaky millennial producer, Max, is out there dressed as a chauffeur. He's picked up an entire kindergarten. Jackie and both her kids are in the car right now. Might I say, for this Uber ride, there's no soilage fee. If anything, extra points if you soil. And we cross now to Millennial Max, our chauffeur driving

Mike Hosking's fancy Jaguar around town, running all sorts of errands, dropping people to work, and dropping multiple coffees. Talking 60 plus coffees to people around the place. If you want one,

4487, come on in, Max. Hello. What is the worst that could happen here? Well, the worst that could happen is you spill all 67 coffees in Mike Hoskins' car, permanently damages interior, and in doing so,

you pour boiling hot coffee on your lap, accelerate and drive through a building. That collapses on top of you. That's the worst that could happen. Oh, my God. Sorry, I've just driven over a speed bump. Oh, so you've got a lot of coffees in the back. I've just driven over that one. Oh, so you've got a lot of coffees in the back. You need to be cornering with the skill and precision of a 92-year-old driving to Lawn Bowls in a Honda Jazz

on a Wednesday morning, okay? Careful, Max. Oh, my gosh. Far out. There is hot coffee on my lap. Oh, okay. So things aren't going well, but hopefully we'll deliver. Where are we delivering these this morning?

Where are you going? We're off to Starship. Oh, the kids. Get the kids jacked up on coffee. No. Starship Children's Hospital. If I know kids, they'll love that coffee. I'd say the nurses and the doctors at Starship.

We'll give them a pick-me-up. Okay, well, whatever coffee is left in the cups, they can slurp up the rest of. I'm going to have to take this car to get cleaned. Oh, God. Okay, well, Max, we'll catch up with you shortly to find out if the coffee delivery is a success, but judging by so far, it's not.

But, yeah, drive safe, okay? Thanks, guys. 4487, if you want Max to swing by your place this morning, give us a text. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Spy, know what's up? Spy.co.nz.

Whether it's Kanye running for president or New Zealand's MPs running for multiple affairs, Producer Julia's got all the gossip with Spy Entertainment News. So Katy Perry has been paparazzi'd, packed running errands with pepper spray. So she's got her mask on as you have to have when you're in California. She's very heavily pregnant and she's got a little pepper spray with her and no one's really sure why. Maybe it's in case anyone with coronavirus comes near her. Great line of defence, pepper spray.

Oh, for sure. Never been pepper sprayed myself, Ben. No, have I? No, I haven't had a pepper spraying. I remember when tasers came into use here in New Zealand and the police were like, oh, look, we've got these tasers. And then there was this poor police officer on the news who had to demonstrate the taser.

He had to be shot by the taser. It looks horrible. It does. It looks terrifying. He would have been going, can we just try this out on a criminal? Why do I have to be the demo guy here? I always thought for our TV show, because we did some silly stuff, I was like, oh, we could do instead of laser strike, we do taser

strike. And then I watched the taser video and I'm like, no, no, no. That is the worst idea ever. It's a great name. It's almost worth it for the name. Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll take the tasering just for that pun name. We don't want to do taser strike. Join us tomorrow morning after 8 o'clock, some taser strike on the radio.

And it is Barack Obama and Meghan Markle's birthday today in the States. It was yesterday in New Zealand, but still over there. It's their birthdays. Thanks for explaining the international days, Judu. No worries at all. And so all of the royals basically said happy birthday to Megan and Michelle wished Barack Obama a very

cute message. Happy birthday to my favourite guy. Here's to all the good days, blue skies and new adventures to come. Isn't that sweet? Isn't that lovely? Did Megan Markle celebrate by throwing darts at her in-laws on a dart board or something? Probably. How old did you say she was? She's 39. 39?

Yeah. She looks great for 39. She does. Look at me. I'm bloody 39. I look like 72 years old. Oh, Megan Markle, I'll drink what you're drinking. Yeah, for sure.

She's drinking out of that royal cup of tea, baby. Exactly. You'd happily exit the royals, wouldn't you? Yeah. I'd enter the royals. I'd enter the royals.

And then ruin it and then leave. That's right. Hey, thank you very much, Juliet. That's Spive. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, Mike Hoskins, Jaguars. Fancy Jag.

We've got our hands on it. We're borrowing it to you, whatever you need it for. It's been used to take kids to kindergarten. It's dropped people at work. It's gone to the drags. It's had a hell of a week. Yeah.

And this morning, Millennial Max, our producer, is out panically driving very slowly around New Zealand, dropping coffees to people and balancing them on the back seat. 25 plus coffees he's handling right now. We've got coffee for everyone. Mums, dads, grandparents, preschoolers. We do not discriminate when we hand out coffee. Millennial Max joins us. Are you okay?

I am now. Yeah, let's worry about you and more the car. Oh, yeah, well, we're worried about Max first. Now let's talk about the car. You had a lot of coffees in the back. How much damage? I think it might need a bit of a vacuum. Okay.

When we hand it back to them, we'll just go, oh, we put one of those car fragrances in it. It's the coffee smell. It slowly over four weeks turns to sour milk smell. It's very innovative. Now, you're at Starship Hospital giving coffee to the kids in the hospital. Well, not the kids, but definitely the lovely doctors and nurses here. Oh, it sounds like very deserving people that need a coffee in the morning.

Have you got someone on there that we can talk? Yeah, we've got Sandy here. Hi, guys. How are you? Hi, Sandy. How are you? Max sounded very quiet as if he was in a ward or something, you know, like when your partner calls you at work and you're like,

yep, no, no, you too, love you too, yeah, yeah. Is he inside with you? Is he? He is. He's actually just inside one of the corridors, and I've just dropped some coffees into the lovely MRI team and the lovely anaesthetic tech, Paul, who's just getting set up for doing some of our kids under GA this morning. Oh, wonderful.

These coffees couldn't go to better people. Absolutely. They're a great team here and they all deserve it. No, you guys do a wonderful job there. I've been there a few times over the years with my kids and you guys do an amazing job. And we're so lucky to have you guys in New Zealand. Oh, so sweet.

Thank you so much for choosing us and coming to Starship. We're very lucky. So thanks so much. It's awesome. Hey, don't thank us. Thank Mike Hosking. He's a man of the people. He deserves all the credit, right?

I don't think Max was telling you the whole truth about the car. There's lots of coffee stains all over the seat, but never mind. Sausage stains? No, coffee. Oh, coffee stains. Oh, that was me. The sausage stains was yesterday, but I don't want to talk about that. Thank you very much.

You have a wonderful day and keep up the good work. Thank you very much, guys, and have a good day. Bye. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. We are towed Mike Hosking from Newstalk ZB's car from the work garage. We have it until Mike wants it back.

So we've designed a bit of a competition for you guys to win the car. Live like Mike. Head to the hitstockco.nz if you want to do that. Until then, you can borrow the car for whatever you need it for. Just text 4487. We just realised we haven't got a nickname for the fancy Jag. So we've been brainstorming. Some of our top ones are the Jaguardo.

Oh, yeah, Jaguardo. There's Mike Ryder because it's Mike's car like Knight Rider. We know he's a big national supporter. We thought the Natmobile. I love that. To the Natmobile. Yeah. Let's take our controversial opinions to the Natmobile.

There's the SU me because it's all about you when you drive that car. The Boss Mobile. Fred Jag, like Fred Dag. I thought it was quite good. And Salman Tugud, because it's in the Jag. That one needs to be explained. What's that one for? It's in the bag.

It's a brainstorm. Oh, the show from the 60s. Oh, yeah. Vaguely. It's in the bag. It's in the Jag. Anyway, that one, it's just a brainstorm. It's a brainstorm. It's a brainstorm. It's a brainstorm. So great. Vaguely. It's in the bag. It's in the jacket. Anyway, that one's, it's just a brainstorm. It's a brainstorm.

It's a brainstorm. It's a brainstorm. Quickly, to the Namobile. Get me out of this. Get you out of here. Go. Looking here at an article online, do you know 42% of people name their vehicles?

42% give their cars nicknames. Oh, really? I suppose you have, like, quite a personal relationship with them. Have you named yours? Because you're a big fan of your cars. Yeah, no, I never named it. But I mean, yeah, I guess your car knows all your darkest secrets. You pick your nose in it, sees you at your lowest point.

You yell at other motorists. You abuse it. You know, you've got a very special relationship with your car. So naming it's not out of the question. Have you? No, I haven't actually. I've never named a car. Juju, you've named a vehicle?

Yeah, we had this massive Toyota Prado. It was this red one from the late 90s, and we've always called it the Beast just because it's an absolute beast, and it only just died last year pretty much. And all of my friends know it as the Beast, so yeah. Turns out it wasn't much of a beast because it ran out of steam.

It eventually died. Well, that's right out there. What is the name of your car? Have you had a car name over the years? Yeah, in fact, why don't you tell us the name that you've given your car and we'll try and guess what the car is. Oh, that sounds fun. 0800 the hits is the phone number. 4487

on the text. We might find something for you from our price cupboard as well if we like your call. Now, a dear friend of ours, comedian Chris Parker has a rich history of naming his vehicles and he joins us on 0800 the hits. Now, Chris, lovely to have you with us mate. Always a pleasure at this time boys.

At this time of the morning. You sound a little bit more passionate for the project. You know us comedians, same as for early rides. Now you've had a few cars with names over the years.

One car because I'm still on my restricted. Oh so the same one, right. I think that just comes with the rite of passage of being a proud gay man.

You just really put off getting your license for most of your life. So I have a 2001 Toyota Corolla. Beautiful car. And she's named Courtney. Courtney, that's right. I forgot the name of it. Yeah. Lovely name. A gorgeous name. I was thinking of like 2001.

She's the popular girl in school. I was like, what's her name for like that sort of, 2001, she's at the mall, she's having a good time, she's got lots of friends. She's going, I don't know, like Courtney's the one. Yeah, so it's a snapshot in time of popular names in the era. That's very smart. Yeah.

And I got it sort of sequined on the back with gemstones. Like I didn't get my full license, still got my restricted, but I did prioritize getting the name. For jazzling the car. I did on the back with gemstones. Like, I didn't get my full license. I still got my restricted, but I did prioritize getting it. For jazzling the car. I love it. Exactly. It's the most fabulous Toyota Corolla you'll see on the road. I'll tell you what, she's still going strong, and there's nothing wrong with her.

I think that we'd have the car for the rest. I don't know why I'd ever buy a nicer car than Courtney because she's always got my back. Courtney, just as popular as she was in 2001. There you go. Well, I hope maybe for your 40th, we'll let you sit your full licence or something, Chris. No way.

I refuse. You'll drag me kicking and screaming. Thank you very much, Chris Parker. Thanks, guys. Now, we'll play a game. You tell us the name. We'll try and figure out what the car is. Let's hear it.

Amanda, you're on the air. What's the name? Okay. Connie the Land Crab. Oh, you're on the air. What's the name? Okay. Connie the Land Crab. Oh, Connie. Offers a lot of protection. Yeah. My first car that I ever got,

I was on my learners. So this is over 45. This is going back quite some time. Connie the Land Crab. Is it a Land Cruiser? A Toyota Land Cruiser? No. Is it an Austin?

Producer Humphrey sang an Austin. It's an Austin.. Is it an Austin? Producer Humphrey sang an Austin. How did you get that? Producer Humphrey! Yeah, bright, bright sky blue, 1970s. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. He's going, land crab, land crab. I still don't get it, but anyway I'll just smile politely. So the only sort of crab

you're happy to catch. Thank you very much, Amanda. Luke, welcome. You're on New Zealand's Breakfast. What's the name? We'll try and figure out what the car was. Hey, yeah, it's Clifford, as in Clifford the Big Red Dog, the kid's cartoon. I'm picking it's a big red Toyota Hilux or something. Yeah, no, that's not right. What is it?

It's actually Mitsubishi Evolution, so like big power, big ways. Big power, big ways. Much like the big Clifford the Red Dog. I see, so like big power, big ways. Big power, big ways. Much like the big Clifford the Red. I see, I like it. Man, they must have been feeding their dog some food. Oh, yeah. It's a ginormous dog.

It's so big. Too big. It's in the house. It was so big. They'd be singing your food bill, wouldn't they, Clifford? Thank you, Luke. Appreciate it. Kushler's on the phone from the North Shore.

Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. What was the name you gave your car? Ruby. Oh, I'm going to go red Toyota Corolla, 91. No. We've not nailed any of these. No, and I'm not good with cars. I'm not really a car person, so I'm just, again, just enjoying the chat,

just smiling, just smiling, enjoying it. So what was it? Pardon? What sort of car is it? It's a Mazda 323. Oh, a red Mazda 323. Oh, a red Mazda 323? Yes. Oh, that makes sense. Ruby the red.

We've had it for 19 years. It's a 1994 model. Oh, Ruby. 19 years, wow. Much like producer Juliet, a 1994 model, aren't you? Pretty much. Thank you very much, Kushner. We'll take one more on the phone from Christchurch. Anne, welcome.

What was the name you gave your car? I didn't actually give it. My family gave it. It's called the Nanabelle. Oh, it must be like a... But there is a story behind it. I have really low iron, so I'm quite anemic all the time. Okay. And I sleep all the time and got busted sleeping in my car with it going.

Oh, gee. In the middle of the motorway. Hey. I'm going to go sit a Toyota Vitz. Oh, my gosh. Is it? Yes. Oh, wow.

Oh, Joddo. It's actually dented and everything as well, and it's really easy to see the dent, so the colour's easy to get. Well, no wonder if you're driving around to sleep all the time. Yeah. I appreciate your call, Anne. You have a wonderful day. Thanks for listening. You too. Well, no wonder if you're driving around to sleep all the time. Yeah. I appreciate your call, Anne.

You have a wonderful day. Thanks for listening. You too. I love you guys. You're awesome. We love you too. Thanks for staying awake for us. We appreciate that. Wake up full of shame.

Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We've got Mike Hosking's fancy Jaguar I-Pace. If you want to borrow it, we've got a great weekend planned for someone. Head to the hitsstockcode at NZ. Now, Stan Walker, we decided because we had the car, maybe we should do

Carpool Karaoke in the car. But then we thought, you know, James Corden's done a good job of laying claimed Carpool Karaoke. Yes. So you rebranded it. What did you rebrand it? Ride Share Singalong. Yeah, just for legal reasons. And full kudos to Corden for remembering everyone's lyrics. It must be the bane of his life.

Oh, I've got to learn every bloody Taylor Swift lyric. Yeah, because we didn't do that with Stan Walker. No, we were kind of mumbled away, and Stan Walker really saved the day singing in the car. He did. We were making up words to his songs. Luckily, he's a great, strong singer, and he knows his own songs.

Well, we picked up Stan Walker yesterday in Mike Hosking's flash Jaguar I-Pace. Welcome to Mike Hosking's car. Oh. Smell the success. Yeah. You like that? Ah, smell the controversial opinions.

Smells a bit fishy. He liked the Natmobile. He did like the Natmobile. Now, Stan Walker's actually releasing a book. It's coming out very soon, which is pretty cool. And we talked to Stan about growing up and his childhood. What was little Stan like? I was the naughtiest little kid in New Zealand.

Is that why you moved to Australia? Oh, and in Australia too. Transgender. I literally got suspended from every school I went to. Did you? Yeah. What for? Oh, just stuff.

Being disruptive, fighting teachers, wagging. Oh, just everything. Oh, really? So you're old teachers now. They'd be like, oh, well, he's changed his tune now. I have two teachers that will always be, like, for me, just the most incredible was my music teacher. She was the first person that actually believed in me.

And my maths teacher, who I actually had a fight with, only because I got called out and I was just defensive and I had to just win. But he taught me maths like it was ABCs and he used to get angry at me for acting dumb. He goes, if you want to act like that, you be like that. But you're not dumb. Stop acting like you're dumb. And that's all kids need, right?

It's just that light of positivity. If you surround kids with, listen to me, you're the old Dr. Phil here. You look like Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil looks younger, to be honest. Dr. Phil shaming. I forgot about that. Sorry about that, but it was a really interesting

insight into Stan Walker's life. We asked Stan what he wanted to do while we were in Mike Hosking's fancy Jaguar I-Pace driving around, and Stan wanted to go through the drive-thru at McDonald's, and Jono, you embarrassed him. Hey, don't want to brag about it, but I've got Stan Walker in the car. Oh, my God, shut up. You said be positive, haven't you? Number one, Stan's number one.

Number one, Stan Walker. Number one recording artist. Buy a single figure. And he wants some chips if possible. And that's for Stan Walker, number one recording artist. Buy a single, buy a single figure. And he wants some chips if possible. And that's for Stan Walker, number one recording artist. Now we did sing a few songs with Stan. And as you mentioned earlier, very tough when you don't know the words. Yeah, it really, really shows us up for not doing any research.

I always wonder if James Corden at the Lights has got his phone down by his knee. Just checking at the... All the secret earpiece in from his producers just talking along. Googling lyrics. Yeah, and we also had a wee bit of an accident while singing too. Did you just spill chips in Mike Hossie's car? Let's ignore that and sing. If you can't change yourself, how you ever gonna get the gold?

Sing a sad. If you won't be yourself, how you gonna love? How you gonna live? How you gonna get back what you give? Sing a sad. That's my favourite part of the song. That's not like that bit. Because your favourite part is the only bit you sung in. The rest of it was non-existent and all I did was go,

yeah, sing it, Stan. Sing it, Stan. You're like a supportive guy. Like a hype person. You're like the guy at halftime who pats everyone's bottoms. That's it, yeah., yeah, sing it, Stan. Sing it, Stan. You're like a supportive guy. Like a hype person. You're like the guy at halftime who pats everyone's bottoms. That's it, yeah. Sing it, Stan. So the ride share sing-along will be out on social media at some stage today.

Yeah, and it was fun. We had some serious chat. We had some singing and some serious chat and ended on this. Can I say this is the most serious conversation we have ever had. We're getting deep and meaningful here, baby. It's getting steamy in here. It's getting hot. Are we going to hook it?

It's hot. Is that what's happening? I'm free. We're going to find out if we make it to second base for Stan Walker on the video

when it's out this afternoon on the Hits Breakfast. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. We want to end the show on a positive note.

We used to end the show on a low note. We used to end the show on a low note and it just resulted in Ben and me uncontrollably sobbing. It was a bit of a down buzz. So we've decided to flip it on its head and end on a high. Why is it going to be a good day? You tell us, big or small, we don't care. We're just happy to fill in some airtime before the show finishes at nine.

Lauren in New Plymouth, welcome to the programme. Oh, hey guys. Was it going to be a good day for you, Loza? Good day for me. I have a second round job interview for a job I really, really want and I'm feeling positive. Oh, that's awesome. Second job, second round of job

interviews. Geez, there must be a lot of people applying for the same jobs at the moment. Yeah, yeah, the lady said they had over 100 applications just in the first couple of days. Wow. So I was really lucky to get in the first round and even luckier to get into the second.

And so I've just been doing my research and I'm feeling really good. Oh, good. Oh, good, positive stuff. Let us know how you go, all right? Yeah, I will. And I just want to say, guys, I love you. Me and my daughter listen to you guys on the car every morning on the way to school.

We just smile like total idiots. Oh, my God. You just melt our hearts. It's an honour to be doing this show. It really is. Yeah, we are really lucky to be doing it. So thank you. Appreciate that.

Good luck for the job interview. Double Pass to Reading Cinemas as well is coming your way. Thank you so much, guys. Have a great day. Good on you. If you want a reference, put them on to us and we'll say we vaguely know you

from a wonderful conversation we had on the radio, Lozza. Yeah, all right. I might do that. All right, look after yourself. That's how it works. It's going to be a good day. 0800 the hits.

You just tell us why it's going to be a good one. Give us a call. Lauren, welcome another Lauren. Double Laurens today for It's Feeling Good. Why is it going to be a good day for you and Whanganui, Lauren?

Because it's my 10th birthday. And you sound jacked up already on lollies and cake. Not yet. Oh, okay. All right, not yet. That's after school. What did you get for your birthday, Lauren? I'm going to go birthday shopping for a guitar.

Oh, yeah. I don't know, but I feel like someone's whispering in your ear. I also get to listen to music on my iPod that my mum brought for me last night. Oh, damn. That sounds like a great day. You have fun. Happy birthday. We'll send you a double pass to the movies, Reading Cinemas, okay?

All right. This has been Dr. Jonathan Goodtimes and Dr. Benjamin Feelgood prescribing you some good medicine. You have a great day, New Zealand. We'll catch you tomorrow morning from sex. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.