Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - August 07 - Jacinda Ardern, Big News Small Town, We've Damaged Mike Hosking's Car!

Episode Date: August 6, 2020

We pulled a bit of a prank on Ben with Hoskings car because he's been stressing about getting scratches on it, or ruining it in some way or another... And Jono took this opportunity for a good old fashioned prank. We also had Aunty Cindy on the phone and made her compliment some of the other MPs. Finally, an absolute highlight was reflecting on Jono's lowest moments of the week. Happy Friday!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Morena! Welcome to today's podcast, Friday. Oh my gosh, I love a Friday, Ben Boyce. Yeah, I never loved a Friday as much as when you're doing Breakfast Radio. You really become aware of the days of the week, don't you? Monday I'm like, this is hell. Tuesday you're like, okay, I'm kind of into it.

Wednesday, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thursday, you're getting that little feeling in the bottom of your, you know. And then Friday rolls around and we're feeling good. It's a fun podcast today for you to listen to. But we're going to do things a bit different to start things off. A bit of an unorthodox introduction. We were invited by Matt and Jerry, hosts of the Hauraki Breakfast Show. Invited by their producer on to their podcast intro.

They surprise Matt and Jerry with people just randomly phoning through for their podcast intro. So this is like a syndication, a double up. Podcast syndication. And so there's a lot of content that wouldn't be applicable for the hits audience. No. So we've had to work our way through that. Through some of that. And so here's some more for the hits audience. No. So we've had to work our way through that. Through some of that. And so here's some more of the more family-friendly material.

I was like, I'm out of this. Some more of the family-friendly material we can play from the wonderful podcast introduction we had with Matt and Gerry. Good morning, Sam. Welcome to the Matt and Gerry podcast intro. Yes, hello. We're just finding through for this pre-recorded podcast introduction. This is low-level Crap Liberty's Jonathan and Benjamin.

Have we got hold of them? How are you? We're good. We just want to feel what it felt like to be on a good radio breakfast show for a change. Well, luckily you're on a podcast intro. Jerry, I need to read you out a text that I received from Ben Boyce's dad, Kevin Boyce. Oh, here we go. Now, he has released a children's book, which he wrote during the lockdown period. He's a former school principal.

And it was about all the bears that were placed in people's windows. Yeah, the soft toy bears. Oh, bless, bless, bless Kev. It's just a little bit of fun, but Dad's taken it. He's really running with it. He's harassing celebrities around New Zealand, sending them copies. Because he's published the book now, and so he has been bombarding me. I don't know why he's not bombarding his son.

Because I've given up on it. I'm like, I don't know these people's numbers. And he keeps texting me going, can you get me any coverage on 7 Sharp? I'm like, mate, I have no pull. And so he just texted me this morning saying, I sent my book as a gift to Jeremy Wells and Jesse Mulligan. Lovely thank you letter back from Jesse Mulligan, but nothing from Jeremy. Yeah, well, Jesse Mulligan's got a lot to hide.

He has to pretend to be a good guy. He's got a lot of skeletons in the closet. We all know that. We do. Everyone knows what a piece of shit Jerry is. Oh, there's the answer. He just texted back to Dan. What have you got against Kev? I didn't know. I didn't's the answer. Just text that back to Dan. What have you got against Kev?

I didn't know. I didn't get the book from Kev. Bless Kev. Kev's a good man. He's got to give something back. I would have loved to have got the book. I didn't get the book from Kev. I'll tell you what I did get yesterday, though.

I got a whole lot of ties sent to me from a woman called Joan, who's 86, and they're the ties of her dead husband. Okay. Sent those through to me yesterday, Joan, who's 86, and they're the ties of her dead husband. Okay. Sent those through to me yesterday, Joan, and she said, my husband had a lovely tie collection, my late husband, John, and I've seen you on the television and you look nice with a tie and so I thought that I'd send them to you. Oh, bless.

I actually thought, once I got past the initial thought around the death of John and the fact that these are a dead person's ties, I thought, well, that doesn't matter really, does it? No, you're right. And then I put a tie on and I felt kind of sexy, strangely enough. A little bit like John. It was the smell. I could smell John on there.

Was it a collection of those sort of stripy old school ties you'd wear to the, you know, the cosi club in palmerston north or something precisely that's exactly what they were and one of them and also some uh rotary club ties you need to wear one of those ties every day next week on the show so get kev to wrap up the book and some ties you'll get jeremy wells's notice then and there we go that was that that was the podcast intro with matt and Gerry on this podcast intro. Yeah, well, I don't know, it's Inception. It is. A podcast Inception. So, big show we had

today, Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister, with us. Pranked Ben Boyce. Gee whiz, you must be, are you still recovering from that pranking? You got me a good one. I thought we damaged Mike Hosking's car and as well as that, there's more stuff, there's more stuff I can't remember. Don't go into detail. No, I won't. You just enjoy that podcast.

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, she's calling through on the hotline. Hello, Bill's Automotive. Hello. Hello. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, nice to talk to you. Yeah, I know.

You've never once fallen for that prank. Well, she knows. She's rung us, I know, you've never once fallen for that prank. No, she's run us. I love that you keep doing it anyway. Now, Jacinda, Parliament ended up yesterday and you made a nice comment about, you know, everyone to be kind and then it seemed like it was ignored because Judith Collins came out and said you might be a one-term Prime Minister and Winston Peters said something about Judith Collins' eyebrow.

Yeah, it was the equivalent of the last day of school. And so before everyone put their chairs up, there was a bit of verbal arty-barty in the house. But it's election year, so all of that stuff amps up a little bit. Because you've said be kind to everyone. So Ben wanted to play a game with you where we name politicians, you have to say three nice words about them. Good.

Okay. Judith Collins, so you've just got to say three nice words in a sentence, something about Judith. Tough. Focused. Focused. Yeah. Opposition leader.

Yes, four words. Some of them Were they nice Who knows She's a nice opposition leader You know You used to be Standing to be elected To be leader of your party

Yeah you're right You're right More factual No I'll take that Okay David Seymour Um This is really I really feel like

I'm throwing you I'm like Tomer O'Brien In a press conference No no Just give me a second. Energetic. Yeah. Brave.

Yes, brave, yeah. Just reflecting on the dancing with the staff. A great dancer. Would you say great dancer? Oh, a dancer. Dancer. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Should we round this out with Winston Peters,

who said some nice things about you in the press in the UK this week. Oh, yeah, Winston. Experienced. Yep. Wise. Yep. And funny. Oh, there you go.

Well done. That was nice. I know him the best of all time. Hey, now, Prime Minister, you're not thinking about this, but did you yesterday take any important things out of your office in case you weren't coming back to it in a few months? Like, do you need me to go pick anything up

for you? I did, you know, I got asked whether or not I etched my name under a table or a desk as well. No, no one wants to jinx it. You don't take anything for granted. You know, I'd look around and think,

well, I am back in the office on Monday, though, to be fair. So you can pick up any bits and pieces, staplers and things like that? No, but everyone does that after the election if that's what happens. So no one does that, really. Are you a labeler in your office? Like a Jacinda's stapler and things like that

with a laminator or anything? No, but if anyone takes my mug... Oh! Has it got number one prime minister on it or something like that? I'm pretty territorial about my mug, so that's probably the one thing. No labels. Okay.

Now, of course, throughout the world over the last couple of years, you've had some great, shall I say, shout-outs from the likes of Elton John, Meghan Markle, Oprah, Reese Witherspoon, to name but a few. Jono and Ben put us in that category too. How do you feel when a celebrity gives you a shout-out like that and praises your leadership? It must be a nice thing, right?

Oh, it always surprises me. You know, classic Kiwi, kind of thinking, why, what's brought that on? You know, always surprised. It's usually a clerk that will tell me something like that. Hey, Elton John said if he could be any woman in the world, that was the question he got asked. He said he would be Jacinda Ardern.

Yeah, that one really surprised me. I wouldn't pick me. Who would you pick? Oh, you know, someone with, you know, politics. That's not a job someone would usually say, I want to be that person. Michelle Obama, you know, all sorts of stuff.

The Queen, I mean, you've met a lot of amazing women. Yeah, I have, and you know, every time I think, gosh, how did this end up happening? But every time I also come away and just think, you know, everyone's still human. You just get these insights that everyone is just still battling with the same normal stuff that everyone else does, but just in very different circumstances. You know the good thing about

when you meet famous people, Prime Minister, you don't have to have that awkward, oh, should we get a selfie? Because there's 900 photographers there. Yes. There is that. You know someone's going to catch you at the moment somewhere. You might not be happy with the angle. Yeah, that's the thing.

You've got to Google images later and print those ones out. We're with Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. Now, on a serious note, because you know this show, it's hard hitting a serious Prime Minister. I brace every time. Yeah, you do. COVID, the masks. Why are we all being told to buy masks? What's the story?

I've heard, actually, several weeks ago now, we started talking about the fact that we've been working on a resurgence plan, the just-in-case scenario. And it's because we're currently the only country in the world that's in the situation where we've had COVID and we've managed to become COVID-free.

Every other country that's been in that circumstance has had other outbreaks. And so we just want to make sure we're prepared. And so it's just in the same way that we ask you to keep a kit if there's an earthquake or a natural disaster. We just want you to keep them on hand because last time we finished the lockdown very, very quickly. We didn't really use masks.

This time they would be part of our plan. So we just want people to have them on hand so you don't see any rush. Jacinda Ardern, we always appreciate your time. We know how busy you are and all the best for the upcoming weeks Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth It's Jono and Ben on the hits Now, we played it earlier where you pranked me

Jono, you pranked me Because I've been paranoid we're going to cause some damage To Mike Hosking's car Have we got that audio, Juliet? I don't know Okay, well you've just demonstrated What we're going to do right now. I pointed at Juliet to play some audio and she looked at me like,

we haven't spoken of this, you idiot. So this is perfect timing to lead into a segment. John O'Prior's If I Could Turn Back Time. I'm going to get some revenge on you. I've gone through the week of radio and I've looked at some of your lowest, your worst moments of you talking words, and that was one just before. Just live, real time. No, hold on.

This is character assassination. We don't go and look through Hannah, the real estate agent's low moments of the week, like how she sold a leaky apartment to a retiree couple. No, but we go through mine. This is Jono's lowest moments. I'm getting some revenge on you. You're basically pranking me and thinking that we caused damage to Mike Hoskins' car.

So let's take you back a couple of days ago. I think this was another really awkward moment that you had. Donald Trump did an interview and he was struggling with a very famous part of America. Yeah, Yosemite. Sorry, Juliet.

Juliet's just trying to play the grab and I just keep talking over it. So you go, John. You tell producer Juliet when you want her to play it. Oh, no, listen. What I'll do is you play it first, Juliet. We need to know what it says.

Yeah, okay. Let's go. Okay. No, you need to know what he's trying to say. Okay, so not our finest moment. Particularly yours. Yeah, so are we saying

it's on me or us so are we a team? I'm getting pinned the blame for this. No one's at fault except for you, Jono, right now. Then we find a lovely guy in Dargaville. He ran a hotel there and you just kept asking him the same question, just to push and prodding at him. Good morning, Dargaville Motel. There he is. How are you?

Hi, how are you? Oh, we're good. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand and we're doing it alphabetically and today is Darkerville's turn. What do you do there?

I'm a motel answer, Darkerville Motel. Oh, right, okay, sorry. Don't get all salty with me. He's trying to talk to you about stuff that you don't have. Yeah, a lot of people go water skiing

and wakeboarding on the lakes, don't they? Yeah, they do, yeah. Do you get in your speedos and get out there and give it a good run? I don't get a chance, mate. I'm too busy here at the motel. What do you they? Yeah, they do, yeah. Do you get in your speedos and get out there and give it a good run? I don't get a chance, mate. I'm too busy here at the motel.

What do you do? I'm at the motel. What motel? You're winding them up. I wreck the motel. Which motel's that one? Dagobah Motel. Oh, okay.

I'll go and fight a few more times if it's only here. Good on that guy. He was a legend. And not you. I mean him. No, I feel like none of these are my legendary moments. Then yesterday we had an idea, throwing out tales from the old school yard.

You got producer Juliet, you got her to edit off the part of the start of a Cat Stevens song just so you could lead into a new phrase. So I'd say these are the tales of the old school yard. The singing bit, yeah. Yeah, but you had a shocker. And this is Remember the Days. The old school yard. The singing bit, yeah. Yeah, but you had a shocker. And this is Remember the Days of the Old School Yard.

I meant to say of. I thought of it. Remember the Days of the Old School Yard. No, but that's what he originally said. Where are you going to go? These are tales of the old school yard?

You just pretty much said what he was originally saying, but you've kind of chopped off Cat Stevens singing along there. You've had a shambles. You've had a much said what he was originally saying, but you've kind of chopped off Cat Stevens singing along there. You've had a shambles. You've had a shocker prior. These are the days of. Tales of.

These are the tales of. There we go. There, man, nailed it. How did we get this? Well, you've been doing radio for a long time. Why have I got this job? Why am I not this? This is all from the last couple of days

If management is listening to this I will not be back Monday It's good when it's spread out over a week But in a collection In a top five plays of the week I've got one more Oh there's another one This is the final one

The final moment In Jono Pryor's lovest moments of the week on radio I think you would have observed that I like my oral hygiene and I also carry around and I have done for probably five or six years I have gum and I like it.

I freshen up the breath. I like the smell of it. I tell you what Ben Boyce has the freshest breath in New Zealand. He blows me to sleep sometimes with him. Okay.

Let's not talk about that. I'll be right back. Oh sack him Get rid of him Well, if he is back next week 4487 is our text number Do you want to hear more of Jono's If I could turn back time on a Friday?

My lowest moments of the week You know, other shows play their highlights of the week You're just pinpointing one cast member's Lowest moments of the week It's all basically to get in management's head If they need to get rid of one of us You're the one they're going to get rid of Jono's lowest moments of the week. It's all basically to get in management's head. If they need to get rid of one of us, you're the one they're going to get rid of. Jono's lowest moments of the week. 4, 4, 8, 7.

Do you want it back next week? New Zealand's breakfast. Just don't eat them. They're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, these are the biggest news stories reported by the biggest news knobs. Jono and Ben, welcome to Scrolling Through Your Feed.

Now, yesterday was the last day of Parliament in New Zealand and Jacinda Ardern kicked things off with a lovely message about being kind. This government was formed because we believed that New Zealand could be and should be better and kinder. So that was, you know, that laid the platform you would have thought for a lovely Parliament last session. Everyone saying some stuff, saying some nice things. But uh-uh, uh-uh, that's

not what happened, because Judith Collins from the National Party, she had a wee stab at Jacinda. I've just heard the Prime Minister make, which I think is going to be one of those speeches that we're going to look on and we're going to say, well that was very interesting wasn't it? Because she is going to be more famous than usual, and that

is going to be because she will be a one term Labour leader. Oh, savage! A love of the roast of Parliament. It was like, it was going to be a compliment. You're like, oh, this sounds lovely.

She's going to be remembered for being one-term. It's like a judging panel on X Factor or something where they lead them down the garden path and then rip the rug out from underneath them.

And then Winston Peters, he responded to Judith Collins' comments and how do we dig at her eyebrow raising she does. That was eyebrow raising stuff. And I don't use Botox. But Winston Peters, he got a laugh and then a clap.

A laugh clap. A laugh clap. And then he followed up with a backup gag with the boat. I mean, the guy's nearly 92. He's still pulling out the zingers. So good. No wonder he's still there.

Well, that's why we actually got Jacinda, the Prime Minister, with us after 8 o'clock this morning. We'll talk to her about that. You had a fun game you want to play with her. Yeah, I want to see if she can say something nice about people like Winston Peters, Judith Collins, and maybe David Seymour, you know, because she said about being kind. So maybe we'll put it to the test.

Maybe we should say three nice words about each of them. Yeah, OK. We'll do that after eight o'clock this morning. Also in the news, Chris Hipkins, he's the health minister. He announced yesterday that everyone should be prepared for a potential community outbreak of COVID and we all need to get a mask. The Ministry of Health has updated its advice

on the use of masks by the public as part of our ongoing response to COVID a mask. The Ministry of Health has updated its advice on the use of masks by the public as part of our ongoing response to COVID-19. We've seen elsewhere that masks can play a role in helping us to reduce the spread of COVID-19 when worn by the public where there are cases of community transmission.

They're sort of saying, I was reading into it last night, because I was like, are they preparing us For something that they know about That they haven't told us Yet But it's more like You have your torch And your emergency kit

Gotcha Have water supply It's just like Just have them ready Have them ready And they reckon Particularly if we go to level 2 If that happens

They're not saying we're going to But if we do And you're travelling on buses Or planes Or stuff like that Close contact with people They recommend that you'd have one In level 2 At the moment We don that you'd have one in level two.

At the moment, we don't need to have one, but just to be prepared. It's good. It's a great thing. But I mean, just remember how bonkers we went for our toot paper. Remember that? Yeah, I know.

We went wild for toot paper. So why don't you gather your supplies now in an orderly fashion so we don't have to raid the supermarket for all of the toot paper. And it just so happens that we have some masks here on the show, the Jono and Ben face masks. Are you sick and tired

of having 100% of your face exposed? Well, have we got the solution for you. The all new Jono and Ben reusable face masks. Thanks to kindface.co.nz All of the greatest people in the world have worn masks.

Darth Vader, Catwoman, and the dude from Phantom of the Opera. So why don't you join them? But wait, there's more. The all-new reusable Jono and Ben face masks are ideal for keeping out pesky viruses, smelling your own coffee breath, hiding cold sores, and looking like a surgeon. But wait, there's more. Jono and Ben face masks also feature mildly amusing slogans like

excuse me I have bad breath I've got pash rash, trust me I'm smiling and sorry no kisses I'm married But wait there's more. Order your Jono and Ben face mask today and thanks to kindface.co.nz

we'll throw in no more free because you already got the first one for free you tight ass but wait, there's more Oh, okay, there's no more So they are the Jono and Ben face masks thanks to kindface.co.nz

4487 is our text if you want a mask we might flick out some to some people that text us. 4487. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hips. Mike Hosking's car. We've got it.

We've had it for about a week and a bit now. And we've had some fun with that Jaguar I-Pace. So, you stole my car. We replaced his car with a red Labour car. Faster. But we forgot to get the keys. You want me now to give you the key to my car? We've got the keys.

We've got the car. Jono took it to the drags in Medimed. 135 kilometres an hour, 140, 150, 160, 170. Oh, my God. Our shaky millennial producer Max is out there dressed as a chauffeur. Jackie and both her kids are in the car. There's no soilage fee. If anything, extra points if you soil.

Ben, it's your wife Amanda. My husband's car's in service and he's got mine. You monster. Maybe you can borrow Mike Hosking's car. Head to the hits.co.nz. I'd love to live like Mike. Hang up on her pizza, Patricia Juliet. They were given a nickname for his love of the National Party.

It's the Natmobile. Love it. Don't want to brag about it, but I've got to stand and walk around the car. I can't sing. That's my favourite part of the song. Because your favourite part is the only bit you suck at. Millennial Max, welcome. Where are you at the moment? I'm in the car wash.

This is Mike Hosking Trivia. We're going to ask you four questions. Any question you get wrong, you have to wind down the windows in the vehicle. In 2014, he joined Tony Street and Who to host Seven Sharp. Uh,

Jack Payne. No! Window goes down! Window goes down! Oh my god! Ah! You enjoy the rest of that car wash. Oh, thanks. That is the Jaguar I-Pace. We've taken off Mike Hosking.

If you want to win it for a weekend, a fantastic weekend where you can live like Mike, including dinner, accommodation, a vacuum cleaner, some loafers, head to the hits.co.nz and you can live like Mike. You can register and you could be winning that. But I've been quite worried about, we've been sending Max, who's early 20s, millennial Max, out in this car that's worth like $150 that. But I've been quite worried about, we've been sending Max, who's early 20s, Millennial Max, out in this car

that's worth like $150,000. I've been really worried. I've been like, Max is too young. If we damage this car, it's going to be very expensive. We shouldn't be taking it out. It's too much of a risk. Yeah, something happened yesterday. Have a listen to this.

Oh, shit. You're right. What's going on? Is he? I have no idea. Was that a gag? What was that? Is he hung up?

Yeah, he's gone. Do you want to try calling back me? Call him back, call him back, call him back. Sounded like a horrendous. Can you get a hold of him? Something happened yesterday after the show. They all play you after 8 o'clock this morning. Traumatic scenes.

Traumatic scenes. It caused some damage, that's'clock this morning traumatic scenes traumatic scenes it causes some damage that's for sure it definitely causes some damage that's after 8 on the show what more Jono and Ben you can catch up with the boys anytime just search Jono and Ben

on Instagram the A to Z of New Zealand calling every town and city in New Zealand we do it one a day it's going to take us a little while, not 200 years, as I said yesterday. It's going to take us over 200 years. But that's the commitment that you have to calling every town and city.

If it's going to take that long, that's how long I will be here. You will invent technology to keep you alive, just so you can finish this feature. Yesterday we phoned Dipton, which is the South Island, Deep South Island. What's there to do in Dipton? I come to the roadhouse to get some of the best burgers in the country. What's your order that you put the ingredients in in the burger?

I start with a nice crispy bun. Then I put my relish. Then I'll put some onions. Then we'll go a patty. Some cheese, some bacon, another patty, some cheese, some bacon. Bit of mayonnaise,

lettuce and tomato on the bun on top. Squeeze it all together and hope it doesn't slide away. I feel like he's got those in the wrong order, but who am I? I'm not a chef. It sounded amazing. It did sound amazing. Today is Dobson's turn. Dobson seems to be in the South Island, close to Greymouth, right?

Yeah, and a dark past in Dobson. As I was just saying before, all I see is photos of rusty old cars sitting on swapper crates of beers. And that's at the Dobson Car Rest Home. Oh, really? Where if your car is rusty and old, you just chuck it on the side of the road. All right.

The car's going to die. But also, George Dobson, who the town is named after, he went there to sadly pass away. He was killed in a bungled robbery in 1866. They thought he was a gold buyer and he ended up dying. And there's a monument there symbolising him, George Dobson, and the name of the town is named after him.

Oh, what a wonderful homage to pay for a bungled murder, a bungled robbery. What a dark past. I know, it's a little bit, yeah, not so good for this light entertainment show, is it? That's the stuff that we gloss over, Ben. Yeah, let's ignore that. Ignore the dark, murderous past of Dobson. We'll go through to the petrol station then.

Let's not bring that up then. Morning, Charlie Dobson. Please hold for a minute. Thank you. Thank you very much. We'll hold. Sounds like a busy man. Hi, thanks for the hold.

How can I help you? No worries for holding. Listen, it's Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station here. Hi, how are you, Ben? What sort of filth radio are you listening to? I understand it's not the Hits right now. No, it's just the music, yeah. Oh, just the music. Oh, that's okay, Ben. Is it a radio station? No, it's just the music, yeah. Oh, just the music.

Oh, that's okay then. Is it a radio station? No, it's a... Okay, that's fine. That's fine. You're allowed to stream music. That's fine. We're just calling every town and city in New Zealand

and today we're calling Dobson. Yeah. And we wanted to know what's so good about Dobson. What do you love about the place? We do have takeaways in hot food and cold sandwiches and everything ready for all the workers around. And we do takeaways from Thursday to Sunday, 5 to 8. I'm looking at the photo on your Facebook page there.

Wonderful deep fried sausages. Yes, we do, yeah. The sausages are our best all over the town. Yeah, love a deep fried sausage. Yeah, good, aren't they? You get a nice crispy coating on your sausages, do you? Yes, and we do sell heaps of them every day. Hocking off the sausages.

What is there to do in Dobson? Are you talking about activities? Yeah, what do people do in the town? In the town, it's like normally most of the people are the workers around. They just go to the factory workers, and most of them are some of the builders and all the other tradesmen. And what are they all doing? And is Dobson quite quiet, is it?

Yeah, not really busy today. Yeah, are you near Greymouth? I'm in Dobson. Yeah, he's in Dobson. Is that near Greymouth? Yeah, it is near Greymouth. Ah, yeah, right. But he's in Dobson.

So you're not in Greymouth? Dobson is near Greymouth. So where are you? Yeah, I'm in Dobson. You're in Dobson. Okay. How long have you lived in Dobson? For more than three years. Do you like Dobson? Yeah, pretty much. Really quiet place and really good to live. It looks like a great town

to run away to if you've done some stuff that you need to hide from. Not really, nothing. No, no, no. Not at all. It's been wonderful talking to you. Cheers, bye. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Well, it's been wonderful talking to you. Cheers, mate. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, sad news today that E! News, the channel, the E! News,

which has been a cornerstone of their network for many, many years, since 1993, has been axed, the show. Yeah, and you think about all the people that's been through the programme. You've got Ryan Seacrest, Juliana Rancic, the other guy, and that lovely lady. Yeah. I don't know.

Jason. Jason Kennedy, yeah. Jason Kennedy. Yeah, it is really sad to hear. I mean, every industry has been affected by COVID-19 and the media industry as well. So yeah, it's really sad

that they are. That's the end of an institution, isn't it? 1993, I didn't realise it was around for so long. I suppose we only got E when Sky became a thing here, I imagine. It would have been around in America for a lot longer. Yeah.

Now, remember a few years ago when we were in the States, we were over there for work in LA, and you pranked me thinking I had my big audition for E! News. Now, as someone who would love, you know, likes being on TV as a career, you got our mate, Kimberly Crossman, who's an actor over there, to call me up and to say that there was an audition for E! News. She was having one and she wanted to be partnered up with another Kiwi.

And she knew I was in town and I could come along in the actual studios for E! News to do an audition. You know, this is my big break. I had choreographed this whole thing at the E! News studio, like you say, and he never told me about it once. He never said where he was going. He's like, I've just got to pop out and see a family member today. And I'm like, oh, well, I know what family member that is

because I was hiding in the control room of E! News as I saw this spineless snake just walk off and try and team up with Kimberley Crossman, a prettier person with hair. So I went to E! News. I thought I was going to have my big audition, a big audition to be a host on E! News. And I was in the studio by myself just waiting for the audition to start.

And Jason Kennedy, who you mentioned before, was one of the hosts of E! News, he walked in there. And I've been told to dress, you know, in some casual clothes, something bright. And he told me I was wearing the wrong thing. But he came to my rescue. She's gone to look for a suit because apparently I'm underdressed.

You don't even bring anything? If you legit need stuff, I'm happy to bring it to you. That'd be awesome. So he came in and he gave me his suit. He's like, wear this. Here's a suit, here's a flash suit. Put this on. You'll look better for your audition.

And that was part one of the plan executed. And then, so then a whole lot of people came into the studio. There was like directors, producers, camera people. Kimberly Crossman was there. I was there and I was doing my big, what I thought was my big audition. But what I didn't know is you were orchestrating the whole thing in the background.

So you were getting me to not only do it in New Zealand accent, but do it in an American accent because it's American TV and I hate doing accents. Let's just try a US accent. Okay. Hi, I'm Ben Boyce. Welcome to E! News Live at 7.30. No.

No. Is he Southern? That was you and Jason Kennedy watching, going, no, no, in the background. I couldn't hear you do that. And then we did a bit of role play. I was interviewing a lady who was pretending to be Kanye West

and you told her to basically ignore any question that I asked and really get involved with Kim's ones. One of the big things we do is the interviews. We have an interviewer as Kanye West. Okay. So she's going to play Kanye West? I've instructed Patty to love all of Kim's questions and hate beans.

What is your favourite item in your new line that's coming out? That would be my drop crotch leather jogging pant. You're nominated for many Grammy Awards. That must have been awesome. Yeah. Um... This poor bastard. It was so awkward. So you made me do accents, you made me do

interview people. How humiliating. I was tanking so much and then they were adjusting something on my back and then they noticed there was a label on the back saying Jason Kennedy's suit and that caused, there was all these whispers going on and then they were like, you're wearing Jason Kennedy's suit and they confronted me about wearing the suit that I've been loaned by Jason Kennedy.

Ben, I was just talking to, are you wearing Jason's jacket? Yes, yes, he came in before and I was looking for a suit. He loaned it to you? He doesn't let anybody even touch any of his stuff. Yeah, if you bring him out, he came out before. We'll sort it out. Yeah, sorry, this hasn't gone as... Hey, Jason, how's it going yeah before just like yeah I've been been here says that

you loaned him this suit I honestly didn't loan anything but I want it it's fine to be rude but you came up before and you know the routine we're in the world go just grab a suit or the world hey could you guys send us a security down so Jason Kenan comes back out who who I'd met before. Pretend he didn't know you. I didn't know him. I was just sitting there going, you did. He was in the room with you. And he's just faintly lying because you got him to lie.

And in the end, they were like, security's coming out. I thought I'd tank this. Well, obviously, I tanked the audition for me, but tanked it for Kim Crossman. It was her big chance as well. And when they're like, security's going to escort you out of the building, this is where you walk in. Big greetings face John O'Prior to reveal it was a prank. Is there some trouble here? Do we need to escort you out of the building, this is where you walk in. But greetings face Jono Prize,

or if it was a prank. Is there some trouble here? Do we need to get him out of here? Oh, f***. Let's take him out. Let's take him away. No! F***.

No! I knew. I was like, this better be a prank, because otherwise I'm tanking this shit. Oh, there we go. Those are fun memories. Those are fun memories. Those are fun memories

and all at your expense. Fun times. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. No, what's up? Spy.co.nz

Now to our professional gossip monger. This is producer Juliette with a spy update. Thank you. Do you know what a monger is? No, what does that mean? No, I always see like fish monger and things, so I assume it's a... Proprietor of something?

Yeah. Someone who's... Seems like quite an unflattering word, so I apologise to bestow that upon you, Juliette. No worries, that's no problem at all. Now, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, they have gone on holiday together. A dealer or a trader. Is that what it means? Oh, yeah, you're a dealer of gossip.

You're a trader of gossip. She also sells some great weed as well if you want to see her down in the car park after the show. A gossip monger. There you go. All right, so Kim and Kanye, they have gone on holiday together to try and save their marriage, reports are saying,

and that they've also banned politics chat so that they don't want to talk about it in front of their kids on holiday and they don't want to even address it themselves. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, I don't really know. Feels like they're ignoring the elephant in the room that he might be running for president.

My mum and dad, they don't even tell each other who they vote for. Really? Yeah, they don't even share. It's like a thing. I wouldn't tell. No, I don't know who Amanda votes for. She doesn't know who I vote for.

Really? No, it's not my business. If she wants to tell me, she can, but I'm not going to press her on that and vice versa. Yeah, right. So I was like, yeah. It's just not a conversation that's ever come up? No, I come up with it if it's your own personal thing.

True. I'm not one of these people that would go out there and act. I mean, I appreciate people are like that, and they're like, hey, I'm for the Greens or I'm for the National. I say, that's cool. That's your business. That's fine. But I'm not one of those people.

It's a personal thing, so I don't care. Yeah, that's totally fair enough. I've never asked her once if she wants business, that's fine, but I'm not one of those people. It's a personal thing, so I don't care. Yeah, that's totally fair enough. I've never asked her once, but she wants to tell me, sweet, but I never want to know either way. Yeah, it is such a personal thing. That is a good point, yeah. But mum always baits dad. She like teases, tries to put him off the scent.

She's like, oh, I'm really worried about the environment this election, John. He's like, you're going the Greens. He's like, am I? It's like a little tease, a little bit of foreplay, political foreplay for Eddie and John. Then they rampantly hook up in the lounge and it's all awkward. That's true.

Interesting, I was just reading, speaking of presidents, you would imagine that the First Lady, traditionally, of all the presidents would have the same political beliefs as the president. Not the case. Many presidents and their wives have supported different parties. Ronald Reagan was his Republican, his wife Nancy, Democrat. Wow. That'd be an interesting chat, wouldn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. He'd be getting into the air every night he got home. Why'd you do that to the money? Why'd you enter that war? And imagine being the wife in the White House and everyone in the White House is probably on the... Supporting us.

Yeah. Yeah. Imagine you'd have to go to conferences and meetings and dinners with all that party going, oh, I don't believe it. They get the stuff they say. They have Supporting us. Yeah, yeah. He didn't actually have to go to conferences and meetings and dinners with all that party going, oh, I don't believe it. They get the stuff they say. They have to spoil it. They have to politely claim it.

Yeah, exactly. And Gwyneth Paltrow has revealed the time when she knew her relationship with Chris Martin was over, who's the lead singer of Coldplay. It was her 38th birthday in 2010, which was four years before they announced their divorce or their separation.

And she said that weekend, Adam had just cracked enough to hear the truth, essentially. She didn't actually go into specifics, which I was actually looking for. She was like, there's only so much Coldplay I can listen to before I have to punch myself in the throat. Exactly.

So, yeah, four years before they announced it or decided that they were going to split was when she realised that she didn't want to be with them anymore. It seemed like quite an amicable breakup. Oh, who am I? I'm only reading TMZ. But from TMZ's point of view, it seemed really amicable. Yeah, yeah.

And I think they focused on their kids a lot in the relationship and the breakup. And they still hang out, I think. She doesn't really act now. She's more doing beauty products And candles and things Yeah Candles with the scent of Certain body odours Like Halitosis in your mouth

And sweat from the back of your legs So some very unusual ones You're right Yeah some odours That we wouldn't talk about On this family friendly programme Couple of great dads Just chatting away

We won't go near that Thanks No we won't go near that But I think it's been quite good For publicity of her candles Because if she was just making vanilla and raspberry, you'd be like, oh, OK. But because she's done that, everyone's talking about the...

And if you want to find out for yourself, well, you can research that smut. It won't be on my Google search engine, thank you very much. Deletes history, deletes history. For more spy, head to the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. There's a brand new Kiwi comedy in cinemas now.

It's called This Town. It's a comedy set in small town New Zealand about a guy who was acquitted of murder and his new life back in his hometown in the Hawke's Bay. You can't go out with that guy. He's a murderer. He's not a murderer. He's an accused murderer.

Being a cop's what I am. I'm going to get him. Just you wait. Stars, legendary Kiwi actor Robin Malcolm. You know her from Alan Crozier on Shortland Street, Cheryl West on Outrageous Fortune and many, many other great roles. And Robin Malcolm joins us in the studio right now. How's it going? Hello. Thank you.

Good to see you. Now, you came in here, Robin, and you're like, thank God you don't have cameras in this radio studio. And then we had to awkwardly tell you we actually do. Yeah, we do. I know, I know. And I didn't even say thank God. I was worried about that, wasn't I? We're on the hits now.

We're very family friendly. Those words we don't even think of now. No, we don't. Not even in my brain. No, new movie was out yesterday. First movie in New Zealand post-COVID. Very exciting to get back into cinemas again. Yeah, yeah.

It's so great. We had our pre-premiere in Waipakaro because that's where we shot it two nights ago and then we had the Auckland premiere last night. And mostly just being able to screen a New Zealand comedy, you know, as opposed to something a little less laughy was just so brilliant because you've got this collection of people

all sitting in the same room and laughing. It's a love story, essentially, where a lady falls in love with a man who was accused of murder, and you were the cop who investigated the murder. Yeah, well, she was the arresting officer, and it was a horrendous crime. It was a mass murder.

But this is a comedy. This is a comedy. Yeah, okay. Only in New Zealand. I tell you what, last night, there were some parts of the film where I thought, God, this is so dark. This is a comedy. Yeah, okay. Only in New Zealand. I tell you what, last night there were some parts of the film where I thought, God, this is so dark. They laugh. They just laugh and laugh and laugh.

We are a dark collection of people down here in New Zealand. If Tiger can pull off a movie about Hitler. Exactly, right? Exactly. Yeah, and so Pam was the arresting officer and was kind of like the superstar cop in the small town. And because he gets let free, she loses all faith with the police force,

so she quits and opens a petting zoo. A petting zoo. So I understand alpacas were at the premiere. Yeah, have you ever felt an alpaca? No. I totally get why people want to make jerseys out of there. Oh, really? Oh, they're amazingly soft.

So beautiful. They spit at you though, don't they, alpacas? And they make this really hilarious noise. They kind of make this weird. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Would this be a huge sweeping generalisation,

but would this be the first feature film ever made in Waipukadau slash the Hawke's Bay? Yes. It would be, yeah. I think so. David, the writer, director, actor, who comes from there, was saying it's the first time a film billboard

has been up in Waipukadau. They're like, what is this? I know. So everyone came to the movie premiere? Everyone came to the movie because everyone in Waipukadau was in it. Oh, awesome. So it was so great. We were just sitting in the cinema and every time there was a new scene,

you'd hear someone go, yeah! They were recognising themselves. It was awesome. So great. We've got Robin Malcolm with us. She's in the new movie, The Town. Looks very funny. It's in cinemas right now.

Before you go, Robin, we want you to see if you can fill in the blanks of your career so far. It's been illustrious. Over 50 film and television and theatre projects. That's right. So we looked on your Wikipedia page, which is not always correct. We might just go through. We'll stop and see if you can fill in the characters' names in the movies.

I have to tell you, I'm post-menopausal, so I've got no memory left. Great. We're striking in a moment of weakness. You are. You're getting me. You're kicking a dog when it's down. So Robin Jane Malcolm, a New Zealand actress, is what it says.

First gained recognition for her role as nurse. Ellen Crozier. Well done. Boom. On? Shortland Street. Two from two. She is probably best known for six seasons of playing.

Cheryl West. Yes. On the TV series. Outrageous Fortune. Well done. Great start. What was this menopause excuse you're trying to use? I'm a bit nervous, I'm not sure

I'm stabbing in the dark here a little bit Along with playing Christy Carella in the Australian television series Rake Well done Playing Julie Wheeler in Upper Middle Bergen Yeah And Marina Baxter in

The Code Yes Well done Malcolm had a minor role in the second film of? It was a trilogy. Lord of the Rings. Yes. As a character?

Morwen. Yes. In 2019 Queen's Birthday Honours, Malcolm was awarded, appointed a? New Zealand Order of Merit. Yes. For services to television and theatre. I'm having to think so much in August 2020

Malcolm is starring in the brand new Kiwi movie This Town yeah as a Petty Zoo owner Pam it's in cinemas right now and Robin is now completed

all her chat on the Hits Radio station with Jono and Ben there we go we'll put that on we'll update your Wikipedia now thank you so much yeah

good hey that was great great memory it was alright eh yeah it's just I can't remember my kids name yeah you've got the character name We'll update your Wikipedia now. Thank you so much. Hey, that was great. Great memory. It was all right, eh? Yeah, it did well. It's just I can't remember my kids' names. Yeah, you've got the character names. Do you know, I dialed my mother's phone number the other day on the microwave.

Oh, did you? Oh, okay. I had the phone like that and I went, why am I getting through? Yeah, it's a very long time to put up for cooking food too, wouldn't it be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a really long time. 1,974 minutes. I don't know how to respond to that.

That was a huge mistake on your part, dialing the microwave. It was. What would be just out of that? What would be the most iconic character? Because you must get people all over the place, Australia and New Zealand come up to you and go, oh, you were. What I find really interesting is that Anna, the little real estate agent I played here,

people really remember her, Anna. I mean, Cheryl. The minute I'm outside of New Zealand, it's the crazy lady Anita from Top of the Lake, the chimp lady. And it really depends on where you are, you know. And the best one was I was in Budapest a few

years ago. you wouldn't expect it so you must have to remember like a dozen different names that people might like Cheryl oh yeah

whenever I hear anyone shout I just turn whatever the name is yeah that's right I might have played that role lovely to catch up

Robin Malcolm thank you you two yeah and stalk me whenever you want we're just saying we spent many years stalking Robin Malcolm to appear on our TV show and one day you turned up. We're just saying we spent many years stalking Rob and Malcolm to appear on our TV show and one day

you turned up and you're like, listen, you've just worn me down. If I do this, will you never call me again? Did I say that? Yeah, yeah. Was that what you were thinking? Yeah. Thanks, Robyn. Thank you. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my heads.

You know Netflix, the streaming service, it's a little pop-up startup business, isn't it, Netflix? I hope they get a leg up at some point. I was looking on my Netflix account last night, and I guess it's stuff you've watched previously, then you just kind of get bombarded with stuff in the same realm that you might also enjoy, content. Yeah, they kind of get bombarded with stuff in the same realm that you might also enjoy. Content.

Yeah, they kind of seem to, it seems to be quite interactive. So whatever you watch, they'll sort of tailor more stuff towards your choices. Oh, you might like this or you might like that. You'll get emails, you'll get messages, and on your home screen and stuff, they'll pop up stuff going, oh, you might like this because you watch this. Oh, my God. And if you look at my profile, oh, just,

if someone were to break into my Netflix account and see the horrible things that I have been viewing, they would just be like, what is wrong with this person? What went wrong in their childhood? I've just got like the world's worst prisons, the world's worst drug dealers, the world's worst love makers. Just if it's the world's worst, it's on my Netflix. The content that I'm watching

is so disturbing you like you do like that sort of stuff don't you oh it's a dark labyrinth of shocking content I've always said if I need to traffic

anything around the world I can do that if I need to make Ben disappear I can do that I could do that well you watch that sort of stuff all the time I don't like that sort of stuff

you don't like it no I find it I just find it uneasy it makes me feel uneasy so I don't like the uneasy part of it but don't like it? No, I just find it uneasy. It makes me feel uneasy. So I don't like the uneasy part of it. But you, that really, and some people are really interested in this.

I just want to know how I can delete it. I'm embarrassed of it. I'm embarrassed. What's on your Netflix account? Like My Little Ponies? The most embarrassing thing for me, and I think I mentioned this a while ago, is because, you know,

you can put your names, your profile names to your family, and the kids have set mine up, and they've got, mine is Daddy. But when Netflix emails me it's like, it always feels a bit more seductive because it's like, Daddy, we've added another movie you might like.

The movie's Bad Moms. Hey Daddy. Every time Netflix messages me it's like, hey Daddy, there's another movie and I'm like, oh I really need to change that. You know that site you're holding up right now, that's definitely not Netflix. You get that right? It is really need to change that. You know that site you're holding up right now, that's definitely not Netflix. You get that, right? It is.

No, it is. You've just shamed yourself. Daddy, what are people watching in your area? There's another one the other day and I was like, Daddy, worth a watch. I'm like, it all sounds a bit more like,

ooh. But it's all how you read it too because it could be like, hey, Daddy, here's some stuff you might like. It's all in the tone of your voice. That's where that Netflix has gone to be, Daddy.

You've just gone to Daddy. Hey, Daddy. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Now, food. When you've got food, you've got bread. I know, food.

Anything. It's always got an expiry date on it. Oh, and Best Before, too, isn't it? Yeah. I think Best Before is probably the important one, isn't it? Well, yeah. What is the difference between expiry and Best Before? I don't know.

I just look at the date and just go, well, that's, I guess that's the same thing. I must burn this food as soon as that date hits. Yeah, I get a bit nervous, you know, if I'm drinking milk

or something a day or two later. But my mum, Jenny, she's just like, she'll just take a risk at all, you know. Oh, knowing Jenny, she likes to push boundaries, Ben. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. So we're feeding stuff to all sorts, my stepdad, we're getting all sorts of feeding stuff to all sorts my stepdad we're getting all sorts of lunches and all sorts of things

stuff that's so weak I'm like you've got to throw this out it's good for us six month old chicken or she'll feed something to the kids and I'm like

that was for the dog that was left that was a champ dog roll you just spread on bread and made a sandwich it's not quite that bad but some people will do that

and it's probably quite good as far as wastage goes. They don't like to waste stuff, and they'll eat the food and make it last as long as possible. Yeah, well, I mean, Jenny Boyce likes to live on the wild side, and that side just happens to be

on the other side of the best before date. That's the wild side. Do you think she's trying to off your stepfather? I don't know, man. I don't think so, but maybe. Do you want a lasagna from... 1930? Yeah, that'll still be good.

But, you know, this is the lady also who collects cake crumbs as well. Yeah, she doesn't like... Oh, she's very... Yeah, she likes hoarding stuff. Doesn't like wastage. No, yeah. That's fair enough. And what we want to do this morning,

0800 the hits, 4487 text, how far have you pushed out a best before date? Now, we're not recommending you do this because obviously, you know, a day or two is probably fine. But it gets to that point where it's like, well, you could get very sick from this. But I'm sure when people are low on, you know, students or stuff like that, you took some risks. Oh, yeah. I know there was a rampant trend going on in Dunedin and Otago University when it was exam time and the students hadn't done enough study and preparation. They would eat raw chicken. give themselves a capoeira.

That's really bad. That's really bad. It's a great weight loss regime. No, it's horrible. The supermodel should have gone on to it years ago. I had that and it was horrible. I thought I was going to die. It was horrible.

It is horrible. It's a horrible thing. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible.

It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. Honestly, it was two weeks and it was bad. I've had it too. It's not fun. But it's a great way to get out of exams.

No, it's not. It's not a great way. It's a way. It's a way. You can't dispute that. It's a great way to have the next two weeks feeling like you're going to die. 0800, that hits the phone number. How far have you pushed out a best before date?

4487 is the text. Adam's with us. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast from Danny Virk. Good to have you on, Adam. Good morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, good. So the expiry date, best before date, you've pushed itk. Good to have you on, Adam. Good morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, good. So the expiry date, best before date, you've pushed it out?

You've pushed it to its limits? Oh, mate, I reckon it's about as far as I can take it. 12 months. A year? What? On which? Yeah. On which product?

On beer. You've got to hold on to it. You can't tip that stuff out. I imagine it gets quite vinegary after 12 months. Mate, some of those craft beers taste like that anyway. Alright, just pretend it's a fancy craft beer. That's it, you're onto it. Yeah, if you start chewing it, that's when you know

it's gone well beyond. Thank you, Adam. Appreciate that. He took a risk on some beer. We're joined by Leo Murray, who's a sustainability campaigner. He's well-versed in dumpster diving from supermarkets, and he has pushed the limits of food expiration, haven't you? That's right.

How far can you push an expiry date, or how far have you pushed an expiry date? Yeah, I don't pay a lot of attention to expiry dates. I've got a pretty good feel for what's gone wrong, give it a smell. There's a whole lot of indicators that we can tune into to know whether or not something's right to put in our body. And as a result, I feel like I've developed a pretty good constitution. Yeah, I see. Your expiry date bar is well low.

Well low. That's right. And so do you guys. I'll name some products, and you tell me if you've ever had a bad experience with them. Yogurt. No. Milk.

No. Bread. No. Yogurt? No. Milk? No. Bread? No. Any meats? No. Maybe you just name something you've had a bad experience with. That might be a better way to ask this question. Right, right.

Because this game's not really working so well. I suppose it's like, the reason why I haven't had a bad experience is because I know what's good and bad. Like, I sniff it, I look at it, I taste it's like, the reason why I haven't had a bad experience is because I know what's good and bad. Like, I sniff it, I look at it, I taste it, and if anything's off, you know, you just stop eating it. You can spit it out. Like, your body has got everything it needs to tell you whether or not something's edible. You don't need to look at a number on a packet. A lot of the stuff that you do, you know, like the dumpster diving, is a lot based out of creating awareness too, right?

For all the food that we're throwing out as a country. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely like a symbolic thing. Like I'd way rather just eat straight out of my garden than a waste management bin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, a lot of it is about communicating, I suppose, some of the blind spots that we have in our society around kind of, you know, where are the flows of resources and where are they being wasted? And what are the problems with the systems that are kind of like delivering them to us? And that certainly seemed like something that I could draw attention to.

So I did that. I haven't been dustingdesigning in a while, but I've still got heaps of mates that do it, and it's crazy the stuff they're pulling out of the bins. Like, there's so much gets thrown away, and every time we kind of hit up the supermarket, they'll be like, oh, no, we have a relationship with this food rescue or this or that, but really, like,

they're not really saving much. There's a huge systemic issue, and we need to start talking about it more. And I fully agree with that. You do see so much wastage in this current age we live in. Can you go and do, like, the week's worth of shopping in one dumpster, or do you sort of spread it out over a few different ones? Totally. There's everything in there. You know, you've got, got like all the bread goes off,

and so that needs to go away. All of the dairy has really strict use-by dates. That needs to go in the bin. All the meat and then all the produce, which kind of goes off too. And then you've kind of got all the stuff that's in packages that might have been deformed or like the box is a bit crinkled or it actually blows me away how you can like make a complete meal. And it's also like you look at New Zealand's homeless situation at the moment as well,

don't you? And of all that food, where's that food going? Just to the dump? Going to the dump. And that to me, you know, you've really hit the nail on the head. It reveals this kind of waste issue as being kind of intrinsically linked to our social, like a social issue. We've got people that are hungry. And then it's also intrinsically linked to an ecological issue. I'm starting to get soft to my old age worrying about this sort of stuff. Yeah, well, you do. I think we're a lot more aware

these days than maybe we were 10, 15 years ago, right? Yeah, I think I was reflecting on this earlier how our constitutions have changed also. I think people used to be able to eat way

more freaky, funky stuff than they do these days. But now there's a whole lot more kind of allergies and things like that. And so, like, it's important to acknowledge that times have changed and times are changing. New information comes out. Like, I was just reading that New Zealanders throw away 157,000 tons of food every year. And, like, that's just ridiculous. But we wouldn't have known that 10 years ago. And so you're saying, oh, of food every year. And, like, that's just ridiculous. But we wouldn't have known that 10 years ago.

And so you're saying, oh, I'm becoming soft. And it's like, no, you're just becoming smart. Oh, Leo, listen, I love talking to you, mate. You've got a very good cause that you're campaigning for, my friend. I appreciate it, mate. And we wish you all the best. And when there's another novelty expiry date topic on the radio, you know who's going to be calling, baby.

My man. See you, mate. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. It's time for some big news. Small town. That's right.

Now, Waikato dairy farmer had a bit of a dilemma this week trying to get a cow out of his swimming pool. The cow was walking around in the pool. It was fine, but he didn't know how to get it out because there was no actual stairs to get the cow back out. If the headline for this story wasn't cow pooling, there's a crime upon puns. Well, there wasn't. It wasn't the headline that I read. A farmer's inventive solution to getting the cow out of swimming pool.

Okay, so there was no pun in there. No, I don't even know how he got the cow out, so maybe we should give him a call. Well, yes, we're no rural experts, but so cows' natural habitat usually centred around the paddock, not the backyard pool, so we'll phone Sam. That's his name now.

Hello? Is that Sam? Sam, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits. Yeah, how you going, mate? Good. Waikato dairy farmer Sam Owen. That's me. Sam, you've made big news all over the country and all over online.

You had something very unusual stuck in your swimming pool. Yeah, well, fortunately it wasn't stuck for a long time. But yeah, one of our dairy cows decided to take a midwinter dip in our swimming pool. Did the cow have to climb into the pool or it fell off the deck? So basically the cow jumped a section fence from out in the paddock

and one of the householders, my kids, me, my wife, left the pool gate open and she got on the slippery deck and just slip and slid into the pool. When you're like one of the slippery deck and just slip and slowed into the pool. When you're like one of the householders, it feels like there's a passive-aggressive conversation and finger-pointing going on as to who left the gate open.

Yeah, there was, but, you know, being a good husband, I'll probably take it on the chin. Inciting a riot. Well, Sam, the cow was... Fortunately for the cow, the water wasn't over its head or anything like that. There's a photo online. It's just sort of standing there and I guess around about shoulder deep. Yeah, shoulder.

Yep, shoulder's about right. But then obviously you had the big conundrum of how do you get this cow out of your pool? Yeah, it wasn't my first thought. There was quite a lot of four-letter words going through my head. It's the first thought. And yeah, so I kind of had to work out. The pool doesn't have any natural kind of decent-sized steps.

There's just a ladder. So last time I checked, 400 kg cows can't really climb up ladders. Right. I love it when you say, last time I checked, cows don't climb up ladders. When exactly was that last time you checked the ladder cow situation? Oh, probably pretty regularly. I just put the step ladder out there situation? Oh, probably pretty regularly now. I just put the step ladder out there and see if they're willing to climb.

But no, they kind of just turn away from it. Put it out? Okay, still no? All right, we'll try in another six months. That's great. So I had to try and improvise and create some kind of stepping stone for her to get out. So lifting her out wasn't an option. We couldn't get close enough with anything to lift her directly out. So, I kind of did the old bogan thing

and ran to the garage and grabbed the coach and instead of burning it, I put it in the pool to see if I could get her out. And, because she'd had enough, she just

put her front legs on the coach, front legs out of the pool, back legs on the coach and jumped out and skipped away. And back into the paddock with the other cows.

Had her spa treatment for 15 minutes. I just got my nails did, guys. Oh, wow. What a wonderful story. And it went gangbusters on the internet. Yep. So it was one of those things, you know, do I, don't I?

And I thought, well, it's going to cheer someone's day up or some radio drop is going to ring me and then make a story out of it. Oh, you played into our sweet spot for comical news. We loved it. But I loved all the quotes online. Many people had a lot of fun with cow-related puns and jokes. One had a cow water birthing unit now open in the Waikato.

Another had chuck me the towel, the water's cold and I'm Friesian. I thought it was good. But you had a real good gem as well to do with a cup of tea. Yeah, so my one was Waikato Farmer Champs World's Largest Cup of Tea but forgets to take milk out of cow first. Oh, it's a long play headline. I love it. Yeah, next time take the milk out of the cow and you've got tea. Well, thank you, Sam.

It's such a great story and I'm glad it all worked out. No worries. This has been utterly fantastic talking with you. He's got to stop milking these. Now I'm doing it. Alright, wrap it up. Wrap it up, Sam. Lou in calories and Lou

in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Producer Juliette will do anything to bring you the most up-to-date gossip. She will stop at nothing. Literally on her way to work, she runs through the red lights, not stopping anywhere, to get here and bring you Spy Entertainment News. What have we got?

Thank you. So Taylor Swift has got a new song called Betty Out. And the song obviously is called Betty. And in the song, she references other names including James and Inez. I think that's how you say it. But James and Inez are the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, two kids. But they had a third kid towards the end of last year. And so everyone's like, did Taylor just announce that their third child was called Betty?

And she in fact did. Oh, before them? Yes, they hadn't even announced it yet. Maybe they wanted to keep it quiet. I don't know. I thought they were just taking their time choosing a name. Maybe. Some parents leave it like nine months before naming their child.

I don't know if that's a thing. Yeah, well, no, some people do leave it a while. I was just thinking maybe Kanye West, maybe he is a genius after all. You know when he stopped Taylor Swift mid-speech, maybe this is what she was going to announce. She was about to name all people's kids' names. He was like, I'll stop you there. I'm going to let you finish.

And maybe that's what he was doing. Yeah, exactly. She was about to spill the beans on everyone's good names. Denise, Chantel. You're going to name your kid this. And so, well, well, Betty's a cute name, isn't it, for a little baby? Yeah. Well, they've got three's a cute name, isn't it, for a little baby? Yeah. Well, they've got three girls, and the eldest is called James,

which is quite an unorthodox name for a girl, wouldn't you say? So Taylor switches mates with them, obviously. Well, I hope so. Otherwise, she's just... Now I've got bad blood. Because she might have... Nice, Juju. Thanks.

I'm learning from you guys. Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Dad. You're a comedy dad. Our little punny daughter's growing up, Ben. I'm so proud. Isn't it, Dad. Thanks, Dad. You're two comedy dads. Our little punny daughters growing up, Ben. I'm so proud. Isn't it adorable? She made her first pun.

So proud. All right. And Dr. Dre, he is currently going through a divorce with his wife, obviously, rapper and producer Dr. Dre. He's worth over $1 billion. And him and his wife signed a prenup, which meant that he could keep pretty much the majority of his fortune. But his estranged wife has said that she was forced to sign it

and that during their marriage at some point he tore it up as well so that she could probably get around it and take some of his money. So she's going through that at the moment, trying to steal half his wealth, half $1 billion. Regardless, I think if you've torn it up, I think they might have got another copy. He tore up the only copy. The only copy.

Dr. Dre was like, just so you know, this is the only copy, and I'm just tearing it up. But I emailed that to you, and it's on my email. No, no, no, no, no. I actually got it on the Google Drive, a shared document. Came from the lawyers, that's where the copy of the office, done it. No, that's the only one.

So yeah, that's what's going on there. So she is due or trying to hunt for half a billion dollars? I think so, yeah. Technically, she's probably owed it. But the prenup, if she's trying to be a lawyer, that's true. Exactly, exactly. How are you forced to sign a prenup? I don't know.

She just says that she was forced to and she was extremely reluctant to sign it but she felt she was backed into a corner, essentially. If I was marrying Dr. Dre with a billion dollars, I'd be reluctant to sign it as well. Yeah, exactly. For more, spy here to the hits.co.nz. Like starting your day with panda eyes.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We have Mike Hosking's car. We towed it from the work garage. The fancy Jaguar I-Pace. Fully electric, the car. It's won so many awards. It's a very flash thing, and I've been quite paranoid about having this car in our possession

because it's worth over $100,000. Yeah, I think it's over $140,000. It's very expensive, so we want to hand it back scratch-free, dent-free. I'm like, we can't cause damage. Even scraping the tyre, the rims, it would cost so much for this car. Yeah, we really should have thought about this before we took the car and embarked on it.

That we would have sleepless nights worrying about damaging it. And no one has been more worried than Benjamin Boyce. Yeah, I'll be very worried. And then every day we send, you know, like Millennial Max, love him, but he's early 20s. I've been like he's too young. He shouldn't be out there. He's too shaky. He shouldn't be out there driving a

$140,000 car or whatever it is. I'm like, there's going to be some damage't be out there driving. He's too shaky. He shouldn't be out there driving a $140,000 car or whatever it is. I'm like, there's got to be some damage caused. It's worth more than Max's life. Well, no, no, it's not. What would you value his life at? Oh, no, I'm not going to play. 50K? What do you reckon, Juju?

I'm not playing this game. I'm not playing this game. Max is worth it. I'd pay 45 for it. No, the car's a material position. It's great. It's fine. Max is worth it.

Oh, 20 grand. I'll give him 20 on a good day. Anyway, I've been worried that this car we're going to get some damage to this car and yesterday, after the show you made it out that Max was on his way to pick up some more people, driving some people around. Yeah, we called it the

Maxie Taxi, didn't we? And you thought you'd have a bit of fun at my expense by pretending that Max had caused some damage. Yeah, so he was going to pick up some elderly people and take them to a lawn bowls morning. That was all a lie, Ben. I'm a despicable human being.

Yeah, I know. Ever listen to this? We cross now to Millennial Max, who's... Have you got the... I don't want to stereotype the people over the age of 60. You're making this all quiet. In your car, in the Jag now, Max, do you? Taking them to lawn bowls.

I'm literally almost there. I'm just heading out to get Debra and her mate from a rest home in Papakura. Oh, nice. Lovely. And they're going to lawn bowls today. And this is the great thing about the Hosking Jaguar, is that we don't discriminate who we take in it. No.

All demographics, all ages, we can lend the car out to you. So if you do want Max, Millennial Max, to pick you up, 4487 is the text number. Oh, shit. You're right. Oh, shit. What's going on? Is he? Oh, shit. You're right. What's going on? Is he?

I have no idea. Was that a gag? What was that? Is he hung up? Yeah, he's gone. Do you want to try calling back me? Call him back, call him back, call him back. Sound like a horrendous...

Can you get hold of him? Was that a gag? I don't think so. We'll just come back to him. We'll just get Ben to call him. Cool. It's all good. Is he all right?

Is he okay? Yeah, he's okay. Okay. Max. Max, are you okay? That sounded like a big screeching tire noise and then you just hung up. Gotcha.

Gotcha. Ben, it was a sound effect on the speaker. I said, was it a rag? I know, we lied. How do you lie? Do you want to drink me in my face? I blatantly lied to you. And you too.

I actually had no idea. Julian had no idea. I'm not mad at you. I lied. When you asked me, I should go, yeah, it is, eh? Oh, jeez. I was, like, Ben was more concerned about the $200,000 Jaguar. No, I was concerned about everyone involved.

I didn't know what was going on. That was, oh, Max, I'm glad you're safe. I'm glad everyone's safe out there. And don't do that again, all right? Jeez. That was wonderful. Send that off. Are they holding the Academy Awards this year or next year?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, we'll send that off for best radio prank. I don't think they'll do that. I'll invent that category. Okay. So no damage has been caused to the car or Max, so that's good. Just some emotional trauma to me. But, you know, I'd like to say I feel bad about it, but I feel satisfied.

Why? I don't know, because I'm a horrible person. I just love it. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jono, last night, my daughter Sienna, she's doing a school speech at the moment, and so I was trying to help her out on that.

You remember school speeches? You know why you help her out, mate? Because you are a great dad. I was just trying to help out. I mean, we talk for a living, so I was like, well, maybe this is something I can help out with. I'm not the most practical person, but when it comes to speeches and things like that, I'm like, oh, maybe I can. Not saying I'm great at it, but maybe is something I can help out with. I'm not the most practical person, but, you know, when it comes to speeches and things like that,

I'm like, oh, maybe I can. Not saying I'm great at it, but maybe I can try and help out. So now, as your daughter, I'm currently on our way to school to present a speech full of gags and one-liners. We're trying to get some gags. Topical gags and one-liners. Well, they've got to give them the theme, wisdom.

It's tough. You know, like wisdom. I was like, oh, so you can look at wise people and things like that. So we're working on it. It doesn't have to be done today, but... Or do you have to give a little pearl of wisdom in the speech? Well, that's another option.

You can interpret it any way you want. It's quite wide, isn't it? It's very wide. So what gags have we got around wisdom? Oh, no. So we're working on that one. But it reminded me of a few years ago where I tried to make a speech, like a sort of an earnest, inspiring speech.

I don't know if you remember when we did the TV show, Jono and Ben. It was mid-series. We were doing it for a few years and come back after holidays. And I was like, oh, maybe we'll say something day one. I'll say something and I'll try and inspire the troops. You know, you try. I don't remember this.

Was this like a Martin Luther King style? Well, no, I was just trying to be, trying to, you know, I had a conversation with someone over the holidays leading up to that going, you know, you're in a privilege, you're lucky to do the job that you do. And I was like, you're right. And you know, it's not going to last forever, which we know it's been cancelled. And so I was trying to say this, you know, you're in a privilege, you're lucky to do the job that you do. And I was like, you're right. And you know, it's not going to last forever, which we know it's been cancelled. And so I was trying to say this, you know, to inspire the Jono and Ben team, you know, hey,

let's, you know, work hard, appreciate what we've got. And at midway through this, what I was trying to do was a heartfelt speech. I think it was Guy Williams, another comedian who we worked with on the show, obviously went, cool story, bro. And as soon as someone yells out, cool story, bro. I yelled that out. And as soon as someone yells out, cool story, bro. Oh, that just ends it. There's no coming back. There's no coming back from that. You could just ruin any speech

with cool story. That's what I thought today. I mean, let's take some of the most famous speeches of all time. Let's go with John F. Kennedy. He had a very famous speech, but you yell out cool story, bro, at any stage.

You'll take this down a peg or two. Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country. Cool story, bro. You know, so you've gone from this really amazing thing. Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, you know. That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Cool story, bro.

Just in the right turn when she was made Prime Minister for the first time, amazing moment. I want to start by saying that it is an absolute honour and a privilege to have the ability, as the leader of the New Zealand Labour Party, to form a government for all New Zealanders. Cool story, bro!

It doesn't matter what it is. What we need to do is go back through all the history books and just overdub with voiceover, cool story, bro, to every pivotal moment in history. So I see that, yeah, I'm giving my best advice to Sienna, my daughter, was just, if someone says cool story, bro, just sit down. You're done. Even, that's a good way to get out of presenting

the speech. Do the first line, tease someone up to yell it, and then you stop. You don't have to write a speech. I'd like to talk about wisdom. Cool story, bro. Okay, that's a good way to get out of presenting the speech. Do the first line, tease someone up to yell it, and then you stop. You don't have to write a speech. I'd like to talk about wisdom. Cool, sorry, bro. Okay, that's my speech today. Thanks very much. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. We're wrapping up our show for a Friday. Want to do things in positive fashion? Hey, feeling good? Oh, it's going to be a great day. You've got to tell us why It's going to be a great day. You've got to tell us why it's going to be a great day. Ben, boys, I'm throwing the one over to you.

It's Friday. It's always a good thing. I was feeling good today when I watched my little daughter play netball. It's her first proper season. She scored a couple of goals last night in netball. It's quite hard to score netball goals. You said last year the team was a shambles. Oh, that was my other daughter. They went to one

thing and they scored. She's like, oh, we've got two goals in this netball thing. I was like, oh, in one game. She's like, no, across seven games. And you're like, they spent the whole time doing TikTok dances on the netball court. Yeah, but they've got a lot better. They're really focused. At TikTok-ing or?

Both. Both, yeah. Let's go to the phones. Katerina, welcome from Hamilton. Good to have you on. How are you? I'm good, thank you. Why is it going to be a good day, Kat?

Because we've got a half day at work today. We've got lunch after that. Lunch, boozy, lunch. Boozy, lunch. Boozy, lunch. You go and enjoy that and make some bad life decisions this afternoon, Katerina. Yeah. We're going to flick you out of Jono and Ben face masks as well as some Reading Cinemas tickets, all right?

Awesome. Jasmine, welcome to the show. Why is it going to be a good day for this Friday for you? It's a good day today because it's my husband's birthday. Oh, and we have a special song for him, courtesy of Carol Baskin from the Tiger King. Go Charlotte, it's your birthday.

We're going to party like it's your birthday. We're going to sit for the party like it's your birthday. Yeah, but what's your plan for it? We're going to have the family round for dinner and cake tonight. Oh, very nice. We'll double pass through the movies, Reading Cinemas, as well as the John O'Byrne face mask coming your way.

Thanks to Kind Face. Thank you guys so much. All right, we've got 25 seconds left. What people don't know is we have to time this out exactly, so we're going to mow through these final three. We've got 10 seconds. 10 seconds. Alicia, you've got five seconds.

Why is it going to be a good day? This is not going to work. Alicia. 10 seconds. It's sunny and I've got only four cars. That's it. We're out. What more Jono would bet?

You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from sex on the hits. And via the iHeartRadio app.