Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - August 11 - Kid Fibs, Jono Forgot Another Password, The A To Z Of New Zealand

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

We played a game where we call random people and quiz them for a prize, they're often confused and flustered but always seem to go along with it, and today we called Nicole Kidman*! (*may not be the real Nicole Kidman). We also wanted to know the funny little white lies you told your kids when they were younger... like when Mr Whippy's music is playing it means that he's run out of ice cream 😉Finally, we called Mike Hosking and he's ready for his car to be returned... but we've got a couple more things we want to do with it!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. It's a Wednesday and it is wonderful to have you here with us. It's a Tuesday. It's a Tuesday. Yeah, great start. I got the day, you're ahead of yourself, ahead of the game. That's what they always said about you, you're ahead of the game, you're one step ahead. I wish it was Wednesday, don't you?

Yeah, well, we'll roll around soon enough. Monday, Tuesdays, I really battle through Monday, Tuesdays. But Wednesdays, you're like, okay, I've got to flow over this week. Yeah. Thursday, Friday is exceptional. Can't say anything bad about them. Saturdays, don't mind me, it's Saturday. Well, Saturday, Sunday goes too quick.

But anyway, that's how the week rolls out for us. Sunday afternoon, ooh, that's not enjoyable. Nah, but I'm sure it's the same for you. Same all around the world for people that work Mondays to Fridays. But today on the podcast, we've got a big show for you. Mike Hosking's car. He's a respected broadcaster in New Zealand. We borrowed his

car from the work garage. We've had it for a couple of weeks and he wants it back. I need it back. Okay. And I want it back and I'm over this. Okay, well, we'll get it back to you by Monday. How's Monday? Monday?

One last weekend. One last hurrah. Oh, for God's sake, Monday. What time? Nine o'clock on the dot. Polished, beautiful, uncurbed, all stains removed, like it never left my park. He doesn't like Mondays either. Monday?

Monday. That's on the podcast today, the full chat with Mike Hosking. We had to ring him after the show yesterday. As well as that, we booked a guest to take a ride with us in the car. We're going to do that this afternoon. Yeah, this is someone that I don't think the Hosk would be too enamored with. No. It politically goes against everything he believes in.

And she'll be going, he or she will be going directly into Mike's. I think we even let them drive the car. Oh, okay. I'd love to FaceTime Mike while they're driving and go, look who we've got in the car. We'll try and do that this afternoon as well as that on the podcast today. Marmite versus Vegemite. What is your favourite yeasty spread?

We get to the decider, the decision on that. And lies you tell your kids. Little lies, cute little lies. Like I'm not your real dad? Stuff like that? Is that cute? No, more. No, no.

Less about that. You're adopted? No, more fun. Fun stuff. You'll hear it on the podcast. You'll never grow up to be anything special. There's some great stories. You won't believe what some of the lies some of the parents have told their kids. Enjoy that on the podcast. You'll never grow up to be anything special. There's some great stories. You won't believe what some of the lies some of the parents have told their kids.

Enjoy that on the podcast. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. I was just sharing because we just did the food petrol power competition. We're paying all your bills. You can live free for 12 months thanks to the hits. Another chance to get in the drawer at 10 o'clock. We'll look after all your bills. But I'm just saying I'm in the middle at the moment

of trying to reset the password on my power company website. Have you tried to reset a password lately? Not only are they a pain in the ass for the hackers, they're also a pain in the ass for the person trying to set the password. Yeah. I used to keep the same one for everything, and then it was, oh, that's bad. And now they make you updated anyway,

with letters and capitals and numbers and symbols and all sorts. I have to have 14 characters for this one, and I can't use a password I've used in previous 10 years. Oh, really? Oh, it's wild. And I like it when they grade it, like, two week. You're like, oh, two week, two week. I've got nine dollar signs, five underscores,

and five, nine, 59 backslashes. Two week, two week, two weeks. Two weeks. I've got $9 signs, five underscores, and five $9.59 backslashes. Two weeks. Two weeks. You're like strong. You start sort of going, oh, getting warmer, warmer. You're adding all these things. I'm not going to remember any of these things. No, and I mean, if a hacker wants to look at my sensitive electricity usage for the month

and they can get my password, good. They deserve to have a look at it. It's like the Da Vinci Code nowadays, setting a password. You're right. I like the, what's your person's sister's husband's name who your mother lost her virginity to in 1967? They go deep, don't they?

Yeah, they want questions that I don't think anyone else is going to know the answers to, right? They reset these company ones, don't they, Juju? Oh, my. The one we were, the radio station, I noticed they do that. Oh, I think it's every three months, but it honestly

feels like it's every two weeks. And I just add numbers. I go start from one, I have a word, and then I'm like, one, two, three, and now I'm like, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, five, and then it's like five, four, three, two, one, four, three, two, one. Every. What number am I at right now? Yeah, every option, because I just cannot be bothered adding another password

to the list. Oh, well, thank God there's nothing else going on in the world at the moment because having to reset passwords is a crime upon humanity. But it is a pain. You spend a lot of your time trying to come up with them, trying to remember them. I think I'll find a cure for coronavirus before I get a password that will be accepted by my electricity website.

I used to like the old dad joke that was, your password is incorrect, and so when it would come up wrong, it would remind you, going, your password is incorrect. You're like, oh, up wrong, it would remind you going, your password is incorrect. You're like, oh, that's right, incorrect. Now we know Ben Boyce's password. Yes. Damn it.

I think it was my joke. It was just a ploy to get that out of him. My password's incorrect. Hey, coming up next on the show, the Jono and Ben Radio Morning Experience. That's right, I've just rebranded the programme. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Jono and Ben on the

heads. We're just having a very calm, collected conversation about resetting passwords and how it's become the scourge upon society. Someone's just texted in 4487. If you want to do it, just keep changing the first letter of capital and then at the end, add number one,

change it to two, three, four, et cetera, et cetera. That's kind of what you do, right? Yeah, very similar. I lose patience of trying to keep track of all the passwords. Producer Max is trying to enter a password for the New World club card like the Da Vinci Code. I don't know what a hacker's trying to get the sensitive information of people

who are getting discounts from New World. Why do you need those discounts? You don't have a club card to get those discounts, don't you? That's why we all are those. And if you want to unlock these discounts, then you must go. You can't. Without the card, you can't get the discounts. I hear you, Max.

I understand. Right now, though, let's give away some stuff with a game show we call... Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. Now, we had an election, and this was voted the most intrusive game show in history. Basically, we phone numbers and barrage four questions down the line. At the end, they can win $40 worth of hell pizza. Let's go through. Morning, Trenton Motel.

G'day, g'day, g'day. Hi. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. Welcome to Don't Call Us, We'll Call You. Did you ask for this game show? No. No, that's the point of the game show. We just call you and we ask you four questions

and you can win some pizza. Oh, okay. Okay. You want to advance? You want to pursue this game show? Or you want to politely leave? I mean, the choice is yours. Yeah.

I don't even know if this is real. Yeah, that's how we like it. It is real. It's real. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits. It's like a dream coming true, isn't it? Jono and Ben from The Hits. She didn't say it was a dream.

Yeah. How many times have you dreamed that we would call you? Oh, so many times. So many. And now it's all coming all at once, baby. Here's your first question, okay? I will give you a warning. They are multiple choice. Yeah, he likes to get his gags out

I do, mate I do, I work out Even if you know the answer You have to refrain from answering Until his gags are out Okay His what? His jokes, his jokes

He's written jokes Don't build them up, Ben That's a bit weird That's what you call them He's written some jokes About his question Is that what you call them now? No, that's all condescending, isn't it?

His little jokes, we call them All right, no Little all condescending, isn't it? It's little jokes we call them. Alright, now. Sorry, what was your name on the phone? No, I didn't give you that. I'm going to make up a name. I'm going to call you... Oh no, you know what I'm going to call it?

I'm going to call you Nicole Kidman. Why? Do you want to be Nicole Kidman? Sure. Why not? All right, Nicole Kidman. All right, here's your first question. Well, then we can say we've had Nicole Kidman on the show today.

Okay. You know, at the end of the show, we're like, hey, thanks everyone for listening. I want to thank Nicole Kidman for joining us. You should have just went to that game show earlier today. She had a laugh. So you'll do that for us, won't you? Yeah.

Okay. All right, Nicole, here's your first question. What is the name of the building that our politicians work out of? Wait for the jokes. I have to wait. You have to wait for the jokes. Wait for the jokes, mate. The little jokes.

A, the extramarital love nest, B, the politician pit, or C, the beehive? A. A, the extramarital love nest. Yes, that one. Is Nicole Kidman messing with you? That one, A. A, well, we're going to have to take that as an answer because I guess technically it is.

But also we would have accepted the beehive. Oh, okay. I should have said that one then. Next. I think you're... Hey, hold. Are you taking this seriously, Nicole Kidman? Yes, very seriously.

Oh, good. Second question. Don't call me Nicole for no reason. Don't call, Nicole Kidman? Yes, very seriously. Oh, good. Second question. Don't call me Nicole for no reason. Don't call me Nicole Kidman for no reason. Well, I tell you what you're doing. Good job acting like you're enjoying being with us. Yes, I am. Like Nicole.

Made my day. And remember to wait for the little jokes. The little ones. The little ones. Tiny jokes. Yeah, tiny little jokes. You didn't even laugh at the first one. Nicole. It's hilarious. Nicole, they're joke. You didn't even laugh at the first one. Nicole.

It's hilarious. Nicole, they're working against us here, mate. It's hilarious. Oh, you're awesome. Love it. All right, next question. Rachel Hunter is a famous New Zealand what? Wait, wait for it.

Hand model, B, finger model, or C, model model? Model model. Yeah, she is. There you go. You got $20 to help pizza. Two more questions. How does Crusaders coach Scott Robertson famously celebrate a tournament-winning victory? A, he goes to high-five people then pulls out at the last minute.

B, holds a 36-strong synchronised line dance. Or C, breakdances in the middle of the pitch. Breakdances. There we go. Nicole Kidman. And finally, Jay-Z once famously said, I have 99 what? A, mosquito bites,

B, problems, or C, mini collectible supermarket figurines. The little jokes are done. Oh my God. The figurines. Nicole, you have given absolutely no effort to this game. That was like 100% effort. That was a shocking effort.

But I don't care because we had Nicole Kidman on the show today. And we're going to send you out some pizza. $40 pizza coming your way for being good sport. Awesome. Thank you so much. You look after me. And autograph because I am Nicole. Definitely Nicole Kidman.

You have a wonderful Tuesday. Love your work. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. Now, 0800 the Hits, that's our phone number. I want to know what little white lies did you tell your kids? Because, you know, as a parent, it's your job to teach your kids all the things that you can pass on, you know, your knowledge to them.

But at the same time, you know, you can have a little bit of fun. That's why we have kids, so we can feed rubbish to them for 10 years until they're old enough to know better. Yeah, like my kids will, I pass down my love of terrible jokes. I hope they'll pick that up from me and they'll have that, you know, in their future. But there are some things that you will do. You know, there's little white lies as they're growing up that eventually they realise they were little white lies, little fibs.

Like my mate would do that classic one where Mr Whippy the noise you know when that's playing the sirens and he'd go oh the music only plays when they run out of ice cream yeah which is a flawed business model

from Mr Whippy when you think about it because why is he drawing attention to the fact he's got no product just so you know I'm going back to base

to fill up on the soft serve but I'll let the whole neighbourhood know and so you have to have an awkward conversation with your children and tell them that I'm out like isn't it best to just drive down the your children and tell them that I'm out.

Like, isn't it best to just drive down the suburban streets and so on? Well, I'm sure if kids thought about that, you're right. You're right. But it's one of those little white lies that you might have told your kids. I used to, when Indy, my youngest daughter, was very little, we used to tell her that when the fridge was beeping, you know, it makes a noise when you leave the door open, that was about to explode. And we'd have a little bit of a laugh every time.

She'd get quite panicky like an action hero. No! This is from a few weeks ago. I secretly tried to record it when the fridge was open. My fridge is going to explode! So wherever she was, she'd just been racing. It's a natural reaction. Just like to shut the fridge.

But then last night I felt felt bad, and I thought, well, I should probably come clean and tell her that. All these years, I've been, you know, telling her a little white lie. Indy, I've got a bit of a confession to make. Mm-hmm. The fridge, when it beeps, it's not actually going to explode if you leave the doors open for too long. Yeah, I know that.

It's just a fun game, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings. You didn't want to hurt my feelings? Yeah. Okay, so you knew it already? Yes. Okay. She'd be lying to me. She thought, I don't want to hurt Dan's feelings. I really know that this is not true. And what I want to pay homage to is your unparalleled commitment of recording your family

consistently. Every conversation I have now, I have that. Hang on. Hang on. I know that's usable. Do you want to talk to me until I press record on my voice memo?

Okay, so kid fibs. Lies you were either told as a kid or lies you've told your own kids. 0800 HITS is the number. Give us a call. You can text too. We've got in the industry what they call being a full board.

Oh, wow. This is a moment of joyous occasion for any, Ben, a full board. Oh, wow. This is a moment of joyous occasion for any radio program, a full board of callers. Let's go to Lloyd. Welcome from Auckland. Good morning. How are you? What kid fibs were you told? Yeah, I

played quite a good one on my kids. I've told them a few bad ones over the years, but the best one was I told my daughter from about the age of four I was in status quo. And she believed that all those years. And we've got vinyl at home with the covers, and she kept saying,

which one are you, Dad? Which one are you? And I said, I'm the one with the long hair at the back. Oh, the band's status quo. Yeah, gotcha. She always used to look at the cover on the LP and think, wow, that's my dad. Long hair. She couldn't quite work it out, but she believed me, of course.

I'm a dad. I wouldn't lie. Anyway, so earlier this year, she's at school. She's 13 now. And they're saying, you know, something in class about what your parents do. My dad was in status quo. Status quo, like, nothing like pretending that you're in a wonderful yacht rock band.

Yes. Well, I guess it's probably one of those ones you're like, oh, maybe he was. Maybe he could have been in status quo. Yeah. And what's your actual job? I work at St. Andrew's Retirement Village over in Glendowie. Yeah, which is nearly as cool as being in status quo.

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. I love it. I love it. Love it. It's so good. You have a good one, Lloyd. Well, she Googled me at school with a teacher and they found out the truth.

Oh. Your web of lies came unstuck. She said, you you ruined my child. Oh, that's great to ruin a childhood. But I loved it anyway. Good on you, Lloyd. You go and have a wonderful day. Thanks for listening.

You too, fellas. Lies, kidfibs that you were told. Let's head to Toby. You're in Nelson. What was it for you, Tobes? Well, it was what my parents told me when I was about six years old. And they would tell me that they were doing really action-y, intense fight sequences when what they were actually doing was what we'll call intense lovemaking. They were really bad.

A lot more cool. I was like, oh, how's he going to... Fighting off the bad guys in here. How's he going to suffer this one? No, that's intense love. Okay. Intense love. When my parents made love, they made love intensely.

Oh, jeez. Okay. Oh, that is really good, Toby. Appreciate it. Let's head to Tony. Shall we in Wellington? How's the capital this morning, Tony? Oh, it's lovely this morning.

It's clear-ish. Yeah, it's a good morning. And that's a great weather report there from Tony. We'll be back next hour with Tony's weather update. Now, tell us, what kid fibs were you told? Well, when my kids were little, we had an alarm system in our house, and each room had sensors. You know those little sensors, the motion sensors?

And we told our kids that those were Santa cams, and they were installed by Father Christmas to make sure that he could monitor their behavior during the year. Oh, I've heard about people saying this. Yeah. And then if they misbehaved, he would know, and then they wouldn't get any Christmas presents. So it was a good way of making sure they behaved themselves all year. And so the actual nuts and bolts of the story,

some creepy old man has installed CCTV into their bedrooms and lounges and is just keeping an eye on them. Yeah, we didn't think of it like that. If the police raided Sandra's house, there would be questions asked if he had a set-up like that. Yeah, there'd be big questions asked, you're right. Good on you, Tony. You're going to have a wonderful Tuesday, eh?

Thank you for listening. Yeah, you too. Appreciate you listening. My parents, they always told me lies. They were like, we love you. And they would tell me that at home, but then we're in public. They're like, who's that weird kid?

He's not ours. We didn't make him. We didn't have an intense lovemaking session to make him. Okay, enough about the parents. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Scrolling through your feed. Yes, if you like news and or information, then this definitely isn't the feature for you. Here we go, the stories that are broken overnight. Ben Boyce, so do you. Cook Islands. The bubble between New Zealand and the Cook Islands should be up and running by the end of the year.

That's what Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said yesterday. Whilst we haven't put a timeframe around the reopening at this stage, our expectation is that it would be in place before the end of the year. We haven't wanted to give dates beyond that while we're still undertaking that verification work. And that's on both sides, both for the Cook Islands and for New Zealand. She sounds great in reverb. She does sound good.

Officials are going over there from New Zealand just to test it out, test it's all good. What does that mean? For 10 days? I hear. Yeah. Hey, you're going to go 10 day test? The Cook Islands, it sounds nice. Surely you can go around the Cook Islands in a day. You can be there or back. It's pretty much like a 30k loop, right around the go. Yeah, I mean it's a one nighter. It's a one nighter max. You've got to or back. It's pretty much like a 30k loop right around the go. Yeah, I mean it's a one nighter.

You've got to test it out properly, sit on the beach, drink some cocktails. Just test if the sand's still soft. Is the water still wet? Good. I remember going to the Cook Islands this many years ago but they had an honesty system for drink driving over there. I think we should employ that here.

Are you drunk? No? Okay, on your way. I'm sure it's been updated now, but yeah, a friend of mine was driving who lived in the Cook Islands, and yeah, he was like, yeah, that's what they had at the time. He hadn't been drinking, but I was like, what if they hadn't? He was like, oh, it's an honesty thing. Yeah, but what if you lie? Well, I guess if they thought

you were intoxicated, they'd probably... They'd pursue it further, but otherwise they'll just take your word for it. And that's why we love the Cook Island Policing Department. Yeah, well, it's a nice honour system. As well as that former Prime Minister, Helen Clark. Now, she's done a wide-ranging interview on Instagram talking about her views on cannabis. Is she pro or anti?

She's pro at being yes, although she says she's not really one to have it. She just doesn't think people should be criminalised for it. She likened it to the prostitution, the sex worker thing that they brought in when she was in charge. Basically she thought no one should be criminalised for doing it or for getting it, even though

that's not something for her. What do you mean, getting it? What are we talking about here? Are we still talking about... Where are we? I'm lost. What topic are you covering? No one should be charged for getting it. No, you're right, Ben. It's what I say to all my customers out on the back road.

I did like this quote from Helen Clark, though. She said that, I was talking to someone recently who had eaten a cannabis-infused apple pie. Yes, the person she talked to said it tasted pretty good. It's an interesting referendum, isn't it? I fully see the medicinal side of it. Yeah, which is already a thing, right?

So the vote for the referendum is purely just do we legalise it or not, do we? It's a complicated web of decision making. Now, Juliet, I know you're wrapping your lips around a bloody buckybong Monday, Saturday, Sunday. What are your thoughts on it? Oh, you know, I'm not really sure, eh?

Well, help me out. He's just slandered you on the radio. No, I'm only joking. I'm only joking, I'm not really sure, eh? Well, help me out. He's just slandered you on the radio. No, I'm only joking. I'm only joking. I'm just saying, just because he's young she has to do that?

That's not the case. That's not the case. Hey, you can have a nice apple pie. There you go, Jono. But it's a funny one, isn't it? Because you go,

legalise it, but then in the same breath, well, worry about mental health. But I'm sure, I'm 100% sure I've had friends who have smoked it every day since we were teenagers.

It's had serious effects on their mental health. Yeah, I think it does affect some people pretty bad as well. So it's going to be a really interesting one. And other people are fine. Don't get me wrong. Other people can smoke it all their life and be absolutely fine. Look at Snoop Dogg. Prolific guy.

He's nailing, what, 50 blunts a day or something? And producing a hit after hit. A hit after hit. Can't fault him. He's a wonderful weed smoker. But there's others that it does affect on a serious note. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning,'s a wonderful weed smoker. But there's others that it doesn't affect, on a serious note. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning, covering a wide range of topics.

Jeez, we covered some stuff. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Time to play this. Synchronise answers. Love this game. Synchronise answering.

This is New Zealand's favourite game behind how quickly can we get a celebrity to say something nice about our country. Juliet throws out a topic and Ben and myself have to try and synchronise our answers and steal the prize off the listener. Welcome, Hazel, to New Zealand's Breakfast. Morena. Morena, how's it going? We're doing well, mate. We're good. How are you?

Yeah, pretty good, pretty good. What are you prepping up for today, Hazel? Pardon? What are you up to today? Just finished work, so I've got to stay awake till late. What do you do? What do you do overnight? I work in security. Oh, okay.

Well, I feel safe and secure with you right now. Well done, might we say. You've already won. Yeah, but that prize is not secure yet. Alright? Okay, so Jono and I are going to try and synchronise one of the three answers. If we do that, we'll take the prize off you.

We did it last Thursday, didn't we? That's right, with flannel. Have a listen. Name for me something you'd find in a bathroom. Flannel. Oh! So much stuff in the bathroom, man. We both chose flannel. So we're on fire at the moment, Hazel.

I won't lie. First category, producer Juliette. All right, name for me a rugby position. Fallback. Okay, prize is still safe. The Reading Cinemas movie ticket is still safe, Hazel. Okay, a Taylor Swift song. Bad Blood.

Okay, the prize so far is yours. How are you feeling, Hazel? Talk us through your thoughts and feelings and emotions. Pretty nervous. Pretty nervous. This is the last one. Hang in a minute. Okay, name for me an emotion.

Randy. Sad. Sad and Randy. I wish we could go together for my lovemaking sessions. Congratulations, the double pass to Reading Cinemas is all yours. Woohoo, thank you. Go on, Hazel. You go and have a wonderful day,

and I bet you'll enjoy sleeping after 8 o'clock this morning. Oh, I will. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling every town and city in New Zealand. We do one a day. It's going to take us a couple of years to call every town and city in New Zealand. We do one a day. It's going to take us

a couple of years to call every town and city and we do it alphabetically. Who knows if landlines will even be a thing in two and a half years. We'll probably be communicating via telepathy or something.

We'll be doing the XYZs via mind control, Ben. But hey, we'll deal with that in two and a half years. Yeah. What are you looking at on the telly? Oh, sorry, my daughter

was just on an ad on TV. I noticed that too. She was on an ad. I was like, yeah. I could see you looking there. Yeah, first time I'd seen it on the TV. So there you go at on the television? Oh sorry, my daughter was just on an ad on TV. I noticed that too. She was on an ad. I could see you looking there. Yeah, first time I'd seen it on the TV, so there you go. Were you happy with it? Sorry for not looking at you. You're like, why is he not giving me eye contact during this? You know I love it when you

give me eye contact. I need you to look dead into my lifeless eyes. I was looking across you, I was thinking you'd do your thing. I was like, oh there's Sienna on the TV. Yeah, but I could clearly tell you were looking at something else behind me. It's like when we go on a thinking, you're doing your thing. I was like, oh, there's Sienna on the other TV. Yeah, no, but I could clearly tell you were looking at something else behind me. It's like when we go on a date and you're

looking at everyone else in the restaurant apart from me. Yeah, I've got to check my phone now. Anyway, so she does the tip-top bread ad. Yeah, Nature's Fresh.

Nature's Fresh. Yeah, yeah, it's good on her. And you just saw that on TV there, I saw. It's not bad. Anyway, yes, A to Z in New Zealand calling every town

and city in Aotearoa. Yesterday was Doyleston, which is a part of Christchurch. No, nice, sunny, quiet place. Yeah, right. You have got such a wonderful New Zealand-sounding voice. Did you know that? You should become the official voice of New Zealand. The official voice of New Zealand is going to do a commercial for New Zealand.

Take it away. New Zealand, the land of the long white cloud, the home of the happy, the adventurous. God bless New Zealand. It was a beautiful voice, didn't it? Beautiful voice. And beautiful mix with the music as well. Today, Drury.

Drury is a rural town near Auckland. It's located 36km to the south of Auckland's CBD. And it's number two on the list of the hardest words to say in the world behind Worcestershire. Yeah, that's a tough word, isn't it? It's a growing part of New Zealand. The 2,000 homes being built in the area at the moment. And I tell you what, the one thing I know about Drury

is the tyre company, Drury Tyres. Have you seen these stickers around? They spell tyres T-I-R-E-S. Now, Juliet, you're the last one who has gone to school. Yeah. How did you learn to spell tyres? T-Y-R-E-S. That's right, sister.

I know. That's something that has weighed on my mind for many years as to why this is a thing. Well, let's give them a call, find out what's going on in Drury and sort out this whole spelling mistake. Go to Drury Tires. Welcome to Drury Tires. Just speaking with Karen. Karen, how are you?

It's Jono and Ben from The Hits, mate. Uh-oh, here comes trouble, Karen. What can I do for you? Well, we're calling every town and city in New Zealand, and today it's Drury's turn. That is absolutely lovely. I'm thinking now I wish I hadn't picked up this phone. Oh, Karen, there'll be no regret.

Hashtag no regrets, mate. Hashtag no regrets, because we are phoning every town. Did you just say all this? Yeah, I did, yeah. Yeah, you covered all that off. So, Karen, you know what we're doing. No, no, I don't. Oh, he just told you. Yeah, we're calling every town. Did you just say all this? Yeah, I did. Yeah, you covered all that off. So, Karen, you know what we're doing. No, no, I don't. Oh, he just told you.

Yeah, we're calling every town city. We call one a day. And today's Drury's turn. And we just want to know. Drury's quite a hard word to say. It should be the sobriety test. How many beers have you had? You need to say Drury.

I know. And I have to spell it out quite often because people think I'm saying Drury. Oh, yeah. I have to spell it out quite often because people think I'm saying Drury instead of Drury. Oh, yeah. Now, this is the biggest problem with living and working in Drury is how to explain and spell Drury. You sound a bit... I know. Every time you say it, Jod, I think you're drunk, you know, Drury.

I know. Yeah. I know. I do have to, as I say, spell it out regularly. Oh, okay. So you work in Drury at Drury Tires. That is correct. Now, I have a thing with Drury Tres, and I've always, have always,

this is actually something I've always wanted to do, wanted to know why Drury Tyres have opted for T-I-R-E-S and not T-Y-R-E-S. Okay, simple reason is they wanted to be noticed and a point of difference. And people notice that. Well, because every time I see a Drury Tire sticker, I'm like, that's not the New Zealand. Yeah, John keeps talking to me about it. So you're right, it's doing its job.

It is doing its job. There's a great marketing plan there. It is indeed. Great strategy. And Karen, what is there to do in Drury for those that haven't been there? And what should the people do if they come to Drury? Well, there's a lot of progress going on in Drury.

There's a couple of nice little townships being built. They've started doing some work over the road and I think that's gearing up for the new mall that's going to be put in there. Ooh, a bit of a ball in Drury. Drury is coming into 2020, baby.

I know. Have you been out here recently? I think I've been to the pub. Is there a little pub there? That sounds right. That's the, what do they call it? O'Malley's. It's like an old English style pub. It is indeed. Yeah, I've been out there, had a wonderful time at the pub. Yeah, no, so

yeah, lots of, there's about four new townships or yeah, little towns being built around us. I was just thinking, you said before you have to spell Drury to everyone, but then, of course, you have tyres with a T-I. You must spend half your day spelling words. I do, and I never was very good at that at school.

Drury, D-R-U-R-Y, and tyres, T-I. I've mastered the phonetic alphabet, I can tell you that. Oh, Karen, this has been an absolute treat. Excellent. If I can take you back to the beginning of this phone call when you said you wish you hadn't answered, now what are your thoughts on that? I don't mind now.

I thought you were going to do something horrible to me, like tell me I'd missed out on $100,000 because I didn't answer the phone a particular way. Oh, yeah, no, that's actually what this is all about. You did miss out on the $100,000. I'm sorry. You liar. And it that's actually what this is all about. You did miss out on the 100 grand. I'm sorry. You liar. And it's because you didn't spell tyres correctly.

Have a great day in Drury. Nice talking to you. And you. Thanks for that. See you, Karen. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Hats. We have an election coming up in September

and, of course, one in America later in the year. When's theirs, Ben? November. Oh, they're November. Yeah, right. And yesterday there was news out of the States, contradiction news, but some people saying that Donald Trump

inquired about putting his face up in the famous Mount Rushmore monument, you know, the mountain monument where there's like the four presidents' faces, they're sculptured into the rock. So apparently he inquired about getting his face alongside, you know, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Roosevelt and Lincoln up there.

That'd be the first thing I'd do when I was president. Put me up on that thing, thank you. That'd take quite a lot of work, I imagine, carving those faces into Mount Rushmore. It would. And whether now it's stable enough, I think I heard something on the news yesterday, whether it's stable enough to have any other face, let alone Trump's up there. Because Kanye photoshopped his face onto it as well. I mean, there's a lot of people wanting their faces up there at the moment.

It's a good job. It's going to be a good job up there. No, Donald Trump is something else that amused me here. He's also looking for uranium mining in the Grand Canyon, a very sacred spot. So people are saying, don't do that. But it reminded me of going to the Grand Canyon and actually got a helicopter ride.

Years ago, I got to do a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. It's phenomenal. I've never seen it, but I was reading about it, that it's like the distance of the whole Grand Canyon is like travelling from Auckland to Palmerston North. Wow. That's how long it is, like 400 odd k's. It's quite crazy because you are in a helicopter ride

and you're in the air and then you suddenly go over the canyon and even though you've been in the air for like five ten minutes you suddenly feel like you're like oh you feel like because there's such a massive drop underneath you it kind of feels like you kind of lift your legs up is it grand and yeah it's definitely grand it's great if it was new zealand it'd be like the all right canyon but the best gag that i um encountered was we were sitting in there in the helicopter uh waiting to go and we're sitting there next to a couple of other people and this guy next to us and he was like, oh, why is this taking so long? I don't know, I've never been there before.

And he goes, oh, look, I'll just drive this thing. I'll fly this thing. And you're like, what? And he climbed over into the pilot seat. You're like, what is this guy doing? He goes, nah, it's all good, I'm the pilot. I was like, man. That is a great start to your helicopter trip.

Because you're like, what is this man doing? How long was he in character as a passenger? Oh, just until we, well, you've caught a while. He was probably like five minutes. Just chatting away and you're like waiting for the guy. And then he climbed all the way up into the pilot seat. You're like, what is he doing? He's like, nah, it's all good.

That is a wonderful shtick. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy, the what's up, by doco.nz. All right, here's some news and information about people far richer and more famous than any of us will ever be. Producer Juliet with Spy. So Simon Cowell, if you missed the news yesterday,

he broke his back after riding his and falling off his electric bike. So he had to go into emergency surgery. He had a rod put in his back because he broke it in several places. But he's tweeted since surgery saying, a bit of advice if you buy an electric trail bike, read the manual before you buy it for the first time. So obviously he bought it and just

was so excited and just got straight on there. But it was a bit too hasty and fell off. Remember when everyone bought push scooters? Those little, you know, like the ones the kids wore a few Christmases ago. The adults were all like nailing themselves on the hose. Same sort of thing, right? Oh, I love it. No, I love driving home and just seeing the look of uncertainty on any human's faces

as they travel on an electric mode of transport. Scooters, bikes, anything. This thing went up to 100 k's, you were saying, reduced you there. Yeah, apparently in seconds it can just really speed up as fast as you can. He probably went from 0 to 100 in his backyard. And apparently he's already blooming working. He's been sending emails from his hospital bed

just wanting to keep going and get out of there but he's probably not very... He's probably quite high on morphine at the moment so his workout puts phenomenal. Getting some lovely emails from Simon Cowell. I love you, man. Have I ever told you how much I love your face skin?

Yeah, I imagine the emails he's sending, gosh. And Catherine Schwarzenegger and Chris Pratt have welcomed their first child together. It's a daughter named Lila Maria, and this is Catherine's first child, but Chris shares a son with his ex-wife, Anna Faris. So a healthy little girl. Cute name, Lila, I think. They've been so afraid to say Arnold or Catherine's surname

that he won't even say it. No. No, will you? No, I don't need to. Just Juliet did a wonderful job with that. Yeah, he won't even say it. You've been trying to get him to say it, he just won't. He won't even say it.

I try to pronounce it correctly. It is a hard word to say. Chris Pratt, did you know, used to be a male stripper? Did he? Used to be a male, and homeless. He was homeless for many years, living out of his van in Hawaii, and stripping, stripping on the side. Well, that was a bit like Mitch James.

He was homeless in London for a wee while, trying to busking on the side of the roads and stuff like that. When was Mitch James a stripper? He wasn't roads and stuff like that. Yeah, when was Mitch James a stripper? He wasn't a stripper though. He was a stripper. Well, I don't know.

Maybe he was. He would have been a great stripper. He's got a wonderful torso at the moment, Mitch James. Isn't Mitch James joining us on the show

this week? He is, so maybe we can ask him if he's ever done any stripping. Magic Mitch. Magic Mitch. Oh,

Julie, our daughter, our punny little daughter. She's all grown up. She's growing up now. Anyway, I demand that Mitch James does the interview shirtless, okay? All right, sounds fine. That's my only prerequisite.

He's on the phone, I think. I don't care, as long as he's shirtless. He's like, yeah, I'm definitely shirtless right now. For more spy, you can go to the hits.co.nz. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. You know, every office, they've got what I like to dub the motivator. You know, every team's got a motivator,

someone who leads the troops and inspires them, don't they? Oh, look, this is sucking up. What do you mean? This is... What do you mean? I know who you're going to talk about. I know who you're talking about. Now you're like, oh, the moon inspires them, motivates them. He makes you want to be a better

human being, you know. You come to work wanting to become a better individual. This is really crazy. I thought we were going to say that this person was like our office elf Stuart from Home and Away. Now Boss Todd, wonderful human being. Oh jeez, I tell you what, he makes me want to be a better person every day.

But he is, he's from Australia and we do call him the office elf Stuart. Behind his back. Now he is, he's from Australia and we do, we do call him the office Elf Stewart. Behind his back. Now he knows we call it behind his back. Yeah, Elf Stewart

from home and away, been on the show for years and years. Got a lot of catchphrases. Loved saying the word Flamin'. Flamin' mongrel. Flamin' drug dealer.

Flamin' menace. Flamin' bargain. Flamin' maniac. Flamin' early. Flamin'. Devil worshipper people. Flamin' kids. Flamin' white ass. Flamin'. Yogurt-y, nutty, fruity bits of rubbish. Flamin' maniac. Flamin' early. Flamin'. Devil worshipper people. Flamin' kids. Flamin' white ass.

Flamin'. Yogurt-y, nutty, fruity bits of rubbish. Flamin'. A lot of things flamin'. Yeah, his shtick is just put the word flamin' before anything

and that's the thing. He also stoned the flamin' crows. Yeah, yeah. Flamin' muggles. The galahs. Just anything. All sorts.

So I figure that the Aussies love a saying or a quip. They do. Because Toddy, Boss Todd, he inspires us with little gems, little pearls of wisdom, some of which I don't even know are a thing. Yeah. Like he came in the other day and he was like,

don't pour vinegar in the pussy's milk. Yeah. I'm like, what is this? What does this mean? I'm gathering don't sour the milk. Don't leave a sour taste in your mouth. Yeah, I guess so. I guess is the analogy. And he's like an inspirational

philosopher, isn't he? Like Aristotle or Socrates or something, Toddy. His other one is, win Monday, win the week. Which means Tuesday through Friday, you can check out completely. As long as you do a half day's job. I don't know if that's quite what he's meaning. I think it's all about getting a good start to the week.

Yeah, his other one is Sponty Bants, which is when he's like, you guys, just talk. Just talk spontaneous banter. Sponty Bants. Do your Sponty Bants. I think he just made that one up himself, that one. I think he's made a lot of these up himself. His other one was, oh, no, I can't say that one, actually.

The one about tearing a certain region of your body. Yeah, gotcha. Tearing a certain part of the male anatomy. Somebody says, well, it's funny. It's such and such funny. Is that funny? It's tearingly funny, and he's referencing a part of the male anatomy, and you're like, I don't think anyone who's ever in the history of having that part of their body

torn has ever gone, well, that's a laugh. Maybe that's excruciating. Maybe he's just saying that's really bad, and that's the way he's trying to deliver it in a positive, because he's such a positive guy, well, that's a laugh. Maybe he's just saying that's really bad. That's the way he's trying to deliver it in a positive, because he's such a positive guy. Well, let's just remember, don't pour vinegar in that milk, okay? That's an inspirational saying from our boss, Todd, this week. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Yesterday we were speaking about the massive lotto draw. It's tomorrow night, isn't it? What's that up to? Over 40 million tomorrow. Yeah, it's happening tomorrow and you asked me what I would do

if I won lotto and we got into, as we do, particularly a random conversation about how I'd spend the money. What would you do if you,

I know this is a cliche, what would you do if you won? I'll tell you what I'd like to do. I would, I'd like to sponsor this radio show.

So then it would be brought to you by Ben. He's the coolest. You'd have to So then it would be brought to you by Ben, he's the coolest. You'd have to thank me every morning multiple times. Ben Boyce, he's the coolest, proudly bringing you Jono and Ben. Yeah, that'd be a cool thing. We don't have a sponsor. You could be the show's sponsor. I could be. Yeah. In fact, why don't we get a sponsor? In fact, well let's go

and make a mission. Let's get a sponsor before Ben Boyce wins Lotto. Wins the whopping 590 million or whatever it is and sponsors the show. So, yeah, I've made it my mission, which is an odd mission. Surely this falls under

the job description of our company sales reps. Yeah, I think so. But I'm taking it upon myself. I don't know why you decided to do this. Well, I just need to beat you to the chase

because if you win Lotto tomorrow night, then for how many years did you want to sign this sponsorship contract? Oh, it could be a while if I've got $40 million. Five or 10-year deal that Ben Boyce has called

bringing you Jono and Ben on the hits. And so I think we've found an appropriate sponsor here. No, this is quite visionary. This is something that wouldn't have been done before, right? No, particularly not with radio show sponsorship. Let's go through to this number right here, Producer Juliet. Morning, Tim.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Good, thanks. Do you guys do sponsorships?

Depends what it's for. Just a couple of guys out there giving it a good honest crack. Yeah, go on. Yeah. Affordable. We'll drop our pants to be sponsored.

Would you be willing to sponsor Jono and Ben on the hits? Oh, would I be willing to sponsor Jono and Ben on the hits?

Just think about Jono and Ben on the hits brought to you by More FM. Or More FM proudly brings you Jono and Ben

on the hits. Or you may not be so proud of it. You know, I love it. I actually recognise those voices and I thought, what the hell have you got? What desperate ploy are they trying now? Yeah, exactly.

So you get More FM across two stations. Yeah, well, if it can be sponsored specifically by Coramandle's More FM, Michelle and Andy for breakfast, that would be brilliant. Oh, okay. We can do that.

So Michelle and Coramandle, Michelle and Andy for breakfast, that would be brilliant. Oh, okay, we can do that. So Michelle and Coromandel, Michelle and Andy for breakfast, More FM, proudly bring you John and Ben on the hits for breakfast. Absolutely, mate. Not confusing at all. No, let's go with it. It rolls off the tongue too, it's great. It does, it's a winner. Okay, listen, Andy, thank you for your time.

We'll send the contract over to sign. Sounds good, mate. Absolutely proud to be a part of the Jono and Ben show. Brought to you by... Coromantles, more FM. There you go. Oh, he's got a better voice, damn it. Love your work, mate.

Cheers, guys. Visionary. I don't see that coming back to bite us. No, I think you're right. So the show's sponsored. Job done. Job done. I feel like we're going to be called into a meeting at 9.15 after the program.

Yeah, I think so, yeah. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, the referendum is happening around the same time as the election, a few weeks away. So every week we like to have our referendum. Dumb. D-U-M-B.

You can see what we've done there. It's called a play on words. It's a dumb little debate that everyone's got an opinion on. And today we're putting a marmite versus a Vegemite. I can't believe we haven't had this debate already, Ben Boyce. What is your favourite salty, yeasty spread, old Te Arawa? This is the debate this morning. Now, I've been doing a little bit of research about the difference between Marmite and Vegemite. So the British Marmite, Marmite's a British favourite.

Our Marmite is slightly different to the British version but is based along the same lines. Marmite was invented in the 1880s by a German scientist who found some leftovers of brewer's yeast. And he's the same guy that invented the Oxo stock cube. So he quite a...

Oh, some of the great flavours of the world. And it was added to the soldiers' rations during World War I. And then the Australian Vegemite comes out of Australia. It was basically invented because they'd run out of Marmite and they needed an alternate. Well, you're a Marmite guy.

I'm Marmite all day. There's no room for error with Marmite. Just one incorrect spread, you're overdosing instantly. What does it say with Vegemite? No, it's a bit of a softer, a bit more delicate. It's not as biting. You can take more of a spreading risk with Vegemite. Vegemite has added flavours.

I was reading vegetables and spices added to there. A little bit extra, but I'm going Marmite. Remember the whole country is, we're Marmite crazy. Remember when Marmageddon? We lost the plot. Yeah, I know we did lose the plot and we all forgot that we survived off one, the same jar of Marmite for a decade. But I

feel like Marmite is diving, it's like eating Edam cheese and then jumping straight to Blue Vein. You know, you've got to work your way up to Marmite. I love how we give it to celebrities when they come to New Zealand. Have a spoonful of this. Like a spoonful.

Like we go around eating spoonfuls of it. They're like, why would you do this to me? We're like, I couldn't hack the Marmite. It's like Jennifer Lopez with like like, teeth all blacked out. Oh, God, you're a monster. 0800, that's the number, 4487. Let's go to Wellington. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast.

Sally, how are you this morning? I'm great. How are you? Oh, listen, we are doing all the better for talking to you. Aw. Are you a V or an M? An M, all the way. Yeah, I'll tell you this, don't you?

No, yeah, it's not even a decision. It's too dangerous. It's not even a debate. It's too dangerous. It's not even a debate. Dicing with danger. Danger. It's like just one foul swipe and you're just, you can't digest that toast, Sally.

Oh, yeah, you can. You just put it on real thick. Oh, you lay it on thick too. Lay it on thick. Yeah. Yeah, lay it on thick so that you can't see the toast or the cracker

or whatever it is you're putting it on. Oh, wow. And just go for it. You lay it on like tar seal on a motorway. Gee whiz, taking a risk there. You've got to work your way up to that level of dosage, though, don't you? You can't just come on, debut someone with a big thick layer of Marmite. Thank you for your call.

And Tauranga D's with us. Marmite Vegemite, this is the referee at Red Numb this morning, D. Yes, and it's Marmite all the way. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Marmite's the clear favourite. There's a New Zealand affiliation with the Marmite, though, isn't there? We feel patriotically responsible. Yeah. We make our version of it. We love Marmite

for some reason, but you're not in the minority. Well, you are in the minority, John, but you're not the only one flying the Vegemite flag. Don't try and condescend me, mate. Don't make me feel better with my support of... only one flying the Vigimite flag. Don't try and condescend me, mate. Don't make me feel better with my support of... Flying the Vigimite flag, that's good. Let's go to Lower Hutt. Ainsley, welcome to the referendum.

Your thoughts? They're both gross. Oh, get out of here. This is not what we wanted. Came in here as an antagonist, I see. I see why you were planted on the caller board there, Ainsley. We're going to have to hang up on her before she's chased down by hitmen. And let's get a final word.

We're going to phone a Foursquare proprietor of such spreads. See which they sell more of. We'll head through to Northland. Come report this to Josh. Josh, it's Jonathan and Benjamin from the Hits radio station. Good morning. How are we? How are we?

We're doing well, Josh. Big issues that we're covering off today, and we want your honest opinion, okay? Sure. Marmite, Vegemite. What's the most popular in the store? What are people buying more of? Oh, Marmite.

Oh, Marmite. Oh, yeah. Hands down. What are you in favour there, Josh? I prefer Marmite. It's got quite a kick to it, doesn't it, the Marmite. Oh, Marmite. Oh, yeah. Hands down. What are you in favour there, Josh? I prefer Marmite. It's got quite a kick to it, doesn't it, the Marmite? Yeah, no, the thing is, the thing is, you're really, it's on a nice edge as to, you know, ODing on Marmite.

Literally on a nice edge, you're right. How much to put on there? There's a fine line between too much and too little, isn't there? True that. Yeah, no, Josh, well, there we go. Marmite, the big seller. Are you doing anything different with it when you're having it? You're putting it with cheese. My mum used to have marmite and lettuce, or vegemite

and lettuce sandwiches. Marmite and cheese, bro, on toast. Yeah. Quality. Yeah, you can't go past it, can you? No. We tried, we were just talking about it before, we tried the other day a marmite drink. Put a spoonful of marmite in hot water, try it, it sounds like it's going to be terrifying. Yeah, it's actually okay.

Like, it's not like you probably wouldn't run out and get it all the time, but it's drinkable. That sounds like something old school would do. Yeah, exactly. And what are you listening to in the background there, Josh? Oh, it's More FM. More FM! McCormack! You're listening to McCormack?

No, no, no, we got John Toast and Flash. Oh! I think it's Toast at the moment. Yeah, I got you. Fungity crew, bro. Fungity. Fungity crew.

Toast is a wonderful man. He is a good dude. He is a wonderful buddy. I tell you what, he's not as wonderful as Ben Boyce. Depends what radio show you guys are on, eh?

Yeah, no, you come to the hits, baby. The only toast we give you is Marmite on toast, all right? Or Medjimite if we run out of marmite. Yeah, yeah, it depends.

It's a bit cheaper at the moment, anyway. You look after yourself. We won't hold it against you for listening to the devil's station, but you have a wonderful morning. All good, boys. Thank you very much. See you, mate.

Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we took Mike Hosking, a respected broadcaster, Mike Hosking's car from the work garage a couple of weeks ago. We've had some fun with that Jaguar I-Pace. Wonderful Jaguar.

And I mean, the only way we have been getting away with it for so long is that Mike Hosking literally has zero interest in our endeavours and has a fleet of luxury cars that he can fall back on as well. So he wasn't out of a vehicle, but we did replace it with a wonderful rusty red Labour-themed vehicle, his favourite political party. Which we thought was his favourite political party. We've since discovered it's not. It's not. It was a huge surprise.

Had we known that it wasn't his favourite, we wouldn't have done that. Why is he not grateful for this wonderful gift? It's quite a shock. But yesterday we got a message, didn't we, about 8.45, and you mentioned it just before the end of the show, you say, we've just been told that we need to speak, call to Mike Hosking. Called Mike Hosking. We were told by management he wanted a word.

So at 9.30 yesterday we phoned him. Hello. Hello, Mike Hosking. Hello. Hello, it's your friends Jono and Ben here. Michael. Michael

Noel James Hosking V. I have got to stop. It's my fault. I've got to stop answering unknown callers. It's always the tax department or losers like you. Where is my car? Look, people have been loving your car. We've been loving your car.

We've had a lot of fun with it. It's in great hands. Have you done anything in the backseat, Jono? Have you been watching the internet? Have you done anything in the backseat of that beautiful car? Let's just say your car has been to some places it never would have been to, Mike. If that car could talk, it probably can. It's a very expensive car.

It's a beautiful car. isn't it a beautiful car? It is. It is. You go the Jaguar. Yeah. Do you not sit there thinking to yourself, if I work really hard and do really well for myself, that I too one day may be able to afford a beautiful car like that as opposed to nicking other people's and pissing them off?

I do think about that. Yeah, I thought that. But the last way you said it was probably the easier way to do it. So I feel, correct me if I'm wrong, Mike, I feel like you're starting to wear thin. Very much so. Because I've had to, in the absence of that car, which is my favourite car,

I've had to dip into my pool of reserve cars. And so, that's not how I like to run things. I've got things in an order in certain cars for certain days, and that's my favourite car. So I'm sick of it. I need it back. And I want it back. And I'm over this.

Okay, well, we'll get it back to you by Monday. How's Monday? Monday? One last weekend. One last hurrah. Oh, for God's sake, who are you giving it to this time? I don't know. We haven't worked on it.

You know we haven't thought this whole thing through, but Monday sounds like a good day. How's Monday for you, Mike? Anyway, Monday, what time? Nine o'clock on the dot. Polished, beautiful, uncurbed, all stains removed, like it never left my park.

And the same applies for that Labour car we gave you too. Don't you worry. It'll be in exactly the same condition if not better. And when I say better, it'll have no Labour sticker on it

but it's moving individually. Oh Mike, alright, thank you. Monday, the. All right. Thank you. Monday, the car will be returned. The Jaguar I-Pace. Like starting your day without your morning coffee.

It's Jono and Ben on my heads. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. All right. Now for a bulletin of which muscle group Chris Hemsworth is working on today. Here is producer Juliet with Spy Entertainment News. Thank you, sir.

A celebrity stylist on TikTok has named the best and worst stars that she has worked with. This seems like a questionable career move on her part. Yeah, unusual. Publicly shaming people. Yeah, I feel like since the whole Ellen DeGeneres thing, people are like, right, I can come forward and just shame all these celebrities who are supposedly not nice. Oh, don't get me wrong. I am loving it.

I am loving it. But just for her professionally, this might not be the best move. I'm not liking it. I just feel like we're opening it. I don't know. Anyway. Opening a can of worms. I love hearing about people who are bad human beings.

It makes me feel better. But that's why one day, you know, these people might be having a lot. Who knows what's going on inside their heads on that particular day. If they didn't talk to you for something a bit quieter, I'm sure it's maybe a little bit rude, but you don't know what's going on in someone's life. 100%. And being a celebrity probably isn't a very easy thing as well. Some of these people she only did make up for once.

I'm not saying they shouldn't have been nicer to her, but at the same time, that's a lot to cast judgment on and put worldwide all over the news. Yeah, exactly. But those people are. So now you make Juliet feel guilty about reading this story. I'm just trying to balance it out. I'm just trying to balance it out a little bit.

It's a story all over the media. She's come out with it. For sure. So Jessica Alba. So go on. Juliet, have your fun with this story, mate. Old party pooper. Did I mention that a couple of them just lost pets that morning?

They've been killed, tragically. Old soggy blanket over here. Some of them have just lost a parent. One of them died on that day. Anyway, you carry on. Just got a parking ticket too, by the way. But who are these horrible people? Their dream job was lost.

Anyway. Jessica Alba is apparently one. Katherine Heigl. And J-Lo. And with J-Lo, people who fit her outfits are apparently not allowed to look at her in the eye. Well, not enough. They should be looking at her in the eye. Well, not enough. They should be looking at her

in the legs. It's their job. True. And who knows, maybe the stylist put some ill-fitting slacks on these celebrities and they were like,

hey, this doesn't go with my body shape. Yeah, true. But I'm too polite to say anything so I'll just shut down. True. But she did say that Selena Gomez

is very professional and very kind and courteous. And that Carrie Underwood is very sweet as well. So she gave the pros and the cons. I don't want to hear about the nice ones. Anyway, that was a fun story. We all had fun around.

Sorry, I was just trying to balance it out. That's okay. And for more spy, you can head to the hits.co.nz. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're inz. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're in the midst of a crisis, Aotearoa. A shortage like we've never experienced before.

Yeah. An elastic shortage, which, you know, when you think about elastic, and I can pretty safely say that I've never thought about elastic, but it plays quite a pivotal role in all of our lives, doesn't it? Yeah, it was particularly through lockdown. It kept many of our elasticated trousers up, you know, track pants that we're all wearing. We've got a lot to be thankful for when it comes to elastic, don't we?

That's what most people wore during lockdown. We don't pay homage to elastic enough. But now there's a shortage and the real issue being is that the elastic bands around face masks aren't able to be made. This is true. This is not actually, we're not making this up. This is an elastic shortage. It'd be an unusual bit of content if I was making it up. Yeah, well it seems

like something we would make up and something, you know, but then I think, why? But you're right, we've run out of elastic. And whoever the genius was that invested their entire life savings into elasticastic will be laughing now. They've been judged for many years. What are you doing spending all your money

on Elastic? He's like, one day this will pay dividends or she. One day this will pay dividends. Anyone can invest in Elastic mate, it's 2020. I'm not going to discriminate. Waste all their life savings on Elastic. Anyone can make that decision. And it is paying dividends now.

But masks, they're demanding that we all get them. Jacinda's like stock up on masks. And we have a very rare opportunity here, Ben, because we have a handful of hours left, don't we? We do. And if you want one, well, have a listen to this. Are you sick and tired of having 100% of your face exposed? Well, have we got the solution for you.

The all-new Jono & Ben reusable face masks. Thanks to kindface.co.nz. All of the greatest people in the world have worn masks. Darth Vader, Catwoman, and the dude from Phantom of the Opera. So why don't you join them? But wait, there's more. The all-new reusable Jono and Ben face masks are ideal for keeping out pesky viruses, smelling your own coffee breath,

hiding cold sores, and looking like a surgeon. But wait, there's more. Jono and Ben face masks also feature mildly amusing slogans like Excuse me, I have bad breath. I've got pash rash. Trust me, I'm smiling. And sorry, no me, I have bad breath. I've got pash rash. Trust me, I'm smiling. And sorry, no kisses, I'm married.

But wait, there's more. Order your Jono and Ben face mask today and thanks to kindface.co.nz, we'll throw in no more free because you already got the first one for free, you tight ass. But wait, there's more. Oh, okay, there's no more.

So if you want one of these Jono and Ben face masks, for your card to 4487 on the text if you want one. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. We've successfully managed to obtain Mike Hosking's brand new Jaguar I-Pace, but we don't have it for long because yesterday after the show,

we were told we need to call Mike Hosking, and this is what he had to say. I need it back. Okay. And I want it back, and I'm over this. Okay, well, we'll get it back to you by Monday. How's Monday?

Monday? One last weekend. One last hurrah. Oh, for back to you by Monday. How's Monday? Monday? One last weekend. One last hurrah. Oh, for God's sake, Monday. What time? Nine o'clock on the dot. Polished, beautiful, uncurbed, all stains removed, like it never left my park.

And Mike was saying the only reason he's here to get away with this is because he has a catalogue of European cars he's been able to fall back on. So Monday. We've got until Monday, and if you want to live like Mike, one last hurrah. What do they do, Benjamin Boyce? Head to the hitstockco.nz

if you want to live like Mike. This weekend, you could get the car for the weekend, borrow it for the weekend to the Jaguar I-Pace, two nights luxury accommodation in Matakana, dinner at a fancy restaurant, a set of loafers and a Dyson cordless vacuum cleaner could all be yours. Head to the hitstockco.nz.

But before we hand it back to Mike, we want to raise his eyebrows. We want his eyebrows raised higher than Judith Collins'. Yes. And so we thought, what better way than to get a political nemesis of his in the vehicle, potentially even driving it. Now, we went through the list of MPs,

and we thought, what better than the young, upstart, millennial, green MP, Mike Hosking's best friend, Chloe Swarbrick. This would be ideal, right? Can we get Chloe to come and drive around with us? Because, you know, it's an electric car.

She might like that. She will. And we know she loves Mike Hosking. So let's go through to Chloe now. Hello, Chloe here. Chloe Swarbrick. Kia ora. Kia ora. Jono and Ben from The Hits,

New Zealand's 19th highest radio breakfast show. Welcome. Oh, mate, you've got so... Yeah, leading with that. You're like, you can hang up now if you want. You can back out, Chloe. Oh, guys, no. Looking forward to it.

What are we up to? Well, Chloe, we've got Mike Hosking's fancy Jaguar I-Pace. It's a fully electric car. So being in the green party, you'd be interested in that. All the bells and whistles, of course. It's got the bells and whistles. And Hosking doesn't know this, but we want to invite you to come for a ride in the car.

Hey, even you can drive it. Oh, I think he'll love that. Now, you would have probably dealt with Hosking a few times over the years. Yeah, you think he'll love that? You know, yeah, we've had some good times. We've had some good times on live radio when he decided to tell me about his kids and how old he is and preferred to hang up on me than have a good debate. But there we are.

Oh, he's hung up on you. But will I tell you what? He can't hang up on you in his car. Oh, mate. Doesn't quite make sense. But anyway. Made no sense at all. The point was there.

Yeah, I was trying to say something. I was trying to tie in what you said to what I was about to say. Didn't quite work. And that's why we're 19th. It's a big segue. You can tell those years of broadcasting are really coming to a full halt. Hang up on her. Hang up on her.

I don't know why Hosking does it now. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So, Chloe, what we'd love you to do is join us in the car. Are you keen? Absolutely. What do I have to do? Yeah, it's not like you've got nothing else on at the moment.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I mean, yeah, campaign, you know. We're going to have a drive around. We're going to just have a bit of a chat. You can enjoy feeling like Mike Hosking for a change. Incredibly smug behind an ED. Absolutely. The only station that plays on the radio is just Mike Hosking's show on loop on his car.

That makes sense. Yeah. So we'll pick you up. Done deal. Yeah, okay. Oh, awesome. What's your address and phone number? Okay, let's not do this on air.

Do we do that now? Yeah, we do that off the air. Oh, we do that. Okay, all right, Chloe. We'll sort this out off air, apparently. Done deal. Okay, all right. I thought we were an open book here, Ben.

No, we're not. Chloe, we'll look forward to hanging out with you in the car. Absolutely. Thanks, guys. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. A filling. I tell you what, satisfying way to end the show.

More satisfying than popping 96 metres of bubble wrap, Benjamin. Oh, that's satisfying. So, oh, 800-THE-HITS or 4487 on the text. Why is it going to be a good day for you? We'll end the show in positive fashion, make everyone feel good, get into our Tuesday. I've got to go home and do some vacuuming at some point and I love the sound of stuff going up the vacuum cleaner tube.

Is that a pretty bleak reflection of my life? Yes. Is it you that likes to vacuum your driveway? Yeah. No, listen, I've pulled back on it because you guys have given me a... It looks a bit, yeah. Yeah, it does look a bit like, yeah. It's like the guy, I'm sure people no, listen, I've pulled back on it because you guys have given me a... It looks a bit, yeah. Yeah, it does look a bit like, yeah. It's like the guy, I'm sure people drive past my house and go,

the guy vacuums his driveway. I'm going to help him vacuum the driveway. Yeah, and it's because I like the sound of the stones going, yeah. There's a thing for it, Julia. You're judging me, you're judging me. No, no, no, I agree, I agree. So the guy likes to vacuum his driveway. Yeah, so what?

Who's to say you can't? Well, probably the manufacturers of vacuum cleaners. I don't know. But anyway, under the hits is driveway. Yeah. Yeah, so what? Who's to say you can't? Well, probably the manufacturers of vacuum cleaners. I don't know. But anyway, under the hits is the phone number. Why is it going to be a good day for you? Have we got time to go to someone now? Are we running a bit tight? Yeah, go on.

Oh, we can pick up someone, shall we? All right. Producer Ben is our... Oh, there we go. Cheryl. Cheryl's on the phone. Cheryl's on the phone. Welcome to the most organised radio programme on the air.

Why is it going to be a good day for you, Shezza? I'm heading to Auckland to buy material for my son's wedding to make a dress. It's my Saturday today because I work shift work. Oh, Cheryl, you sound like a wonderful mother. Oh, thank you. Yeah, an illustrious career of being a mother, and now you're going to go and make a dress. Well, you go and have a wonderful day dressmaking?

You enjoy your Saturday. And thank you for listening. No worries. I've got to find the material first. Well, good luck. Double Pass Reading Cinemas as well coming your way. That's how it works. Let's go to Nicole.

Welcome. How's Pocono this morning, Nicole? Good. Wet. Wet. Wonderful bacon, isn't it? Yeah. Thriving bacon industry in Pocono.

And ice cream. Oh, bacon and ice cream. Two things that don't go together. Oh, we had the massive ice cream there. It was like 12, 13 scoops or something. Yeah, I think they go up to 15 scoops. Oh, yeah. It was a 15 scooper and we walked out of the dairy

and it collapsed onto the footpath. Like comically as we took a photo going, yeah, it just fell down. Anyway, we're not here to talk about enormous ice cream consumption. Why is it going to be a good day for you, Nicole? It's going to be a good week for me because this is my 11th wedding anniversary

week. Not to, you haven't married 11 different people. Same marriage 11 years. That's a huge success. Congratulations. Thank you. Double pass. The Reading Cinema is coming your. That's a huge success. Congratulations. Thank you. Double pass at Reading Cinemas coming your way. Have a great day.

Thank you. That's awesome. You too. Love you, Nicole. Well done. What? Love you what? Carl, welcome.

How are you? How we doing, team? Love you as well, Carl. My love does not discriminate. Why is it going to be a good day for you and Nelson? No boss today at work today. No boss at all. Oh, that's great. What's your boss at all. Oh, that's great.

What's your boss's name? No, that's cool. Thanks very much. Yeah, mate. He's not falling for that. I knew exactly what you were doing. Have a great day. Reading Cinema's tickets coming your way.

That's how it works. Have a great day, New Zealand. It is the hits. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys weekdays from six on the hits and via the iHeartRadio app.