Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - August 20 - Reception Reception, Jono's Towel Usage, What's The Funniest Thing Your Kid Has Said?

Episode Date: August 20, 2020

On the show today, Jono revealed how often he washes his towel and we asked you to weigh in on whether he uses it too much before washing it. Also, Jono has managed to get Skinny on board to sponsor the show - but they're only sponsoring Jono - not Ben! Ben's not happy about it and calls the big boss from Skinny to find out if he can get on board. We also catch up with Kiwi actor James Rolleston and someone who has been abducted by aliens! Finally, Reception, Reception is back - and this week it's funnier than ever! Enjoy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Thursday, good to have you with us on the podcast. Yeah, I know some parts of the country in level 2, other parts of the country level 3. Do you know something I noticed quite a lot yesterday because I went for a walk and you know, I'm trying to wear a mask when you're out in public. It seems to be the thing you should be trying to do. And I bought a coffee, socially distanced coffee, you know, the contactless. But then you have sips of the coffee and you put your mask back on

and, oh, that's not good. Huge, right, isn't it? Yeah. I sort of want to apologise to your mouth for putting that stuff inside your mouth. You're sort of alone with your own little air bubble of sort of coffee breath and you're like, oh, this is really good. Your mouth's like, finally you get a taste of what I've been tasting for years i'm like oh so anyway that's that's something you've been watching movies i'll be watching jurassic park oh there's more jurassic parks

than you think there are the original the original there's a couple right yeah i think they're up to like with jurassic world now with your chris pratt's and your uh yeah your gold blooms and your uh your things. Yeah. I think combined there's probably five or six maybe. Sam Neill's filming another one at the moment. He is. He is. He's back in there filming again.

My major bugbear though with Jurassic Park is they have not learned from their mistakes. No. They do not learn. No. From movie to movie you're like, guys, we've been here before. Yeah. Genetically engineering dinosaurs is not a great idea not once has it ever worked out well for them

this time we're gonna do it guys you know there's like always a new generation who think you know it's like the millennials

coming through think they can do it better than anyone else it's the next generation of Jurassic Park scientists like mate just watch the previous movie if you want anything

to put you off this idea we lost some people some good people we lost some great people some good people we lost. Some great people. Great people. Yeah, that's a good point. So that's what you'll be watching.

It's not on the podcast. There's nothing. This is just. I was like, why are we talking about that? A loose lockdown banter, I guess. Yeah, that was good. But on the podcast today, your favorite game, reception, reception. You call up a receptionist.

You leave a message for me, just a random receptionist, and it's an embarrassing message I have to retrieve. Yeah, and today, your lab results are back. You've contracted something. Find out what that is. Also, we're joined by a very special guest, someone who's been abducted by an alien. Yeah, you won't get that

on any other show, unless there is an alien specific podcast somewhere on iHeartRadioio which there probably is. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the head. It's time for

Reception Reception. Yes, this is the part of the programme where we send Ben Boyce off to a silent room. There's a soundproof booth. Maybe you could call your mum in the

soundproof booth. You never call Jenny Boyce. Oh, yeah, true. You know, every week you sit in there alone for at least 5-10 minutes would be an ideal mum phoning condition. Okay, I'm going to call my mum. You know, every week you're sitting there alone for at least 5-10 minutes would be an ideal mum phoning condition. Okay, I'll go call my mum

you leave a random message for me at a reception and then I'll retrieve it. Alright, Ben Boyce off to the soundproof booth and we ladies and gentlemen are off to a trucking company. Tina speaking. Hi, Tina. How are you?

Good. How are you? Yeah, looking after yourself? Are you busy on the front line? Sometimes. Listen, I've just got a message to pass on for Ben. Ben? Yeah, Ben.

He told me to call this number, call Tina. You'll take the message for him and pass it on to him when he calls. Okay. Is Dr. Astley Zunfield calling from the clinic that he visited? I think you might have the wrong one. Now, we just got his test results backed back in. Okay. Are you able to note that down?

Yes, I can. The good news is he hasn't tested positive for COVID. Okay. Are you able to note that down? Yes, I can. The good news is he hasn't tested positive for COVID. Okay. Awesome. But there is bad news. Oh, dear. He has tested positive for undeniable sexiness. Okay. Okay So

Confidentially If you can do me a favour Tina We can't let this sexiness get out into the community Okay If there is a community outbreak it'll be disastrous I would We've had reports of people Clusters of people

Walking past Ben, and their clothes just explode off. Is that right? Too much sexiness. He's just so awesome. So awesome. The problem is, the problem is, there's just so awesome. So awesome. The problem is the problem is there's a safety hazard because when he

walks past people, there's too much drool coming out of their mouths and it creates a slippery surface. Yeah. And then COVID will hit. COVID will hit, that's right. So I don't know if the government or the community aren't equipped for this amount of sexiness from Ben. No.

Obviously not. Well, we need to lock him up. We do need to lock him up. We need to lock his perfectly formed, toned and tanned obliques. Oh, God. Yeah, okay. He needs to go into isolation. Okay. Okay.

And Tina. No problems. Yes. You can't go near him, okay? No, I won't. Your relationship will be in serious jeopardy if you lay eyes on this man. I won't go near him. Okay.

Okay. I'll pass that off with your sunshine. You are an absolute angel, Tina. You go and look after yourself. You too. Alright, mate. Okay. Bye-bye. So that was the message that was left. Will she pass it on? Let's bring back

in Ben. Everyone enjoys this segment, doesn't it? I know. You always come back in and you're like, everyone's laughing. I walk out there, I can't hear anything. I walk back into the producer's room, everyone's like, he has big smiles on his face. Now, today you need to phone and you need to retrieve your lab test results.

Oh, no. We're not done. We're above this. What do you mean we're above this? Oh, it's not. Oh, he's got like a thing. Oh, how's the test result? No, it's not. No, we had to get here at some stage. It was the next logical set for reception. I'm sure we were above lab

test results. Tina, Tina. Tina speaking. Oh, hi Tina. Hi. Tina, Tina. Tina speaking. Oh, hi, Tina. Hi. Hi. It's Ben calling, Ben Boyce. Oh. Apparently the message has been left for you regarding...

I can't pass it on till I see you. To see me? Yeah, I have to say it face to face. Oh, it's got to be difficult because, yeah, I can't pass it on until I see you. To see me? Yeah, I have to say it face to face. Oh, that's got to be difficult because, yeah, I can't. I'm almost in level three at the moment. I can't get out. My lab tests, I'm just, apparently you've got them, the results.

I can't say it. I don't know. Who actually rung and gave me, who was that who rung me? It was you, wasn't it? I don't know. It's a very unorthodox doctor that I've got going on. Dr. Ashley Zoomfield normally does a lot of his things over Zoom. He does. Prescription, but in this case,

he decided he wanted to leave a message with you. Oh, yeah, I know. At a trucking place. Unbelievable, really. Yeah. So am I all good? Everything's all good? Things are looking good for me?

I can't even say it. I can't say it. Okay. I can't say it. I got tested for something in particular, apparently. Do you know what I was tested for? Tina. Tina.

This is my doctor. I just need to tell him that he tested positive for sexiness. Why are you even speaking to these two of you there? We're talking to Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. Oh, you are kidding me. Tina, all you needed to do was say he had tested positive for sexiness. Okay.

We can't let the sexiness get out in the community We trace the sexiness The origins back to Chris Hemsworth Oh jeez Is that what he said Because I don't know Tina He leaves a message that I don't know what it is So he's rung you for some reason

And asked you to pass on this message Oh good Enjoy your day Okay thanks She was awesome Reception, reception Oh good Enjoy your day Okay Thanks She was awesome Reception Reception

Unfortunately Returning for me Returning again Next week on the show Just after 8 o'clock On your Thursday This is your New Breakfast

Health Star Rating Still pending It's Jono and Man on the Hatch Now Jono You always give me grief Because I'm recording Stuff on my phone

Yeah it's like You're stockpiling Evidence against your family. You're taking them to court in a couple of years. Well, I stumbled across actually a recording and I was deleting some old recordings because it clogs up a lot of my phone. A lot of my phone is just clogged up with recordings. The only one of those old men is, oh God, he just recorded everything.

What was wrong with him? There's no facet of his life that wasn't recorded. When one of my daughters was about three years old, she had a little phase. We shouldn't really understand what she was saying, but she'd obviously heard someone along the line, and maybe it was me, I don't know, saying son of a B word,

but she got it slightly wrong, and instead of saying son of a B word, she was saying Mitch, like MIT. Oh, so son of a Mitch. Son of a Mitch. Oh, okay. And yeah, I found a recording after she just, she was saying Mitch, like MIT. Oh, so son of a Mitch. Son of a Mitch. Oh, okay. And yeah, I found a recording after she just,

she wanted an orange and then she wasn't given an orange and she said son of a Mitch. What did you just say? Mitch. What's that? Mitch. What does any of it mean?

Can I win? So you say that? Yeah. That's not very nice. Sorry. Sorry. You son of a bitch. But it was one of those things.

It made me laugh. It made me laugh at the time, even though I probably shouldn't have, as a responsible parent. So I thought I'd throw it out there today. The funniest thing your kid has ever said, because kids, they've got no filter. And, you know, I think it was Bill Cosby who once said, they say the darndest things.

And so do witnesses as well. Yeah, let's not go there with Cosby. Yeah, it was a TV show that he did, wasn't it? Yeah, I know, we can't dance around the fact that he was a host. It was before we knew everything about him. Kids say the darndest things. Yeah, you're right. It was the lovable Cosby years. Yeah, and we didn't know what horrible stuff he was doing.

But anyway, let's do this, eh? Yeah. What have your kids said to make you laugh? Or when have your kids said the darndest things? Well, that's not, no, let's not do that. Sans Cosby years. We'll start a new era of this show. Let's just do what funniest thing your kids have said, okay?

Okay. And let's do the most controversial thing Jono said tomorrow. Oh, 800 the hits, 4487 on the text. Funniest thing your kids have said. Some great texts coming through here. My daughter yelled out in the middle of the mall

that mum has irresistible bowel syndrome. Irresistible bowel. Let's go to Tauranga. Jane, you're on New Zealand's Breakfast. Wonderful to have you with us, Jay Money.

How are you? Hey, good. How are you guys? Yeah, we're doing well. Ben doesn't want to call this Kids Say the Darnest Things. No. He thinks that brand's tarnished.

It is. So Kids Say some mildly amusing stuff. Yeah, there we go. We're rebranding it. Yeah, there we go. What did your kids say? Well, last year I went into school just to pick up my son and the teacher was like,

oh, can you just come into the principal's office for a wee bit? We've actually had speeches today and I was like, oh, so my son's only five. That would make you nervous. Oh, okay. What content did they come with? Yeah, that's right. Basically, I think he was doing a little bit of a speech about the tooth fairy

and what had happened to him last night when he got some money. He talked about how his dad had said that he was a cheap prick. He only got 50 cents for the tooth fairy. Oh, the tooth fairy was a cheap prick. You're like, okay. Well, I mean, times are tough.

Yeah. COVID's happening, you know, economically. People are doing it hard out there. Small business owners. Struggle for tooth fairy to get around places with social distancing. Yeah, I understand why the 50 cents are here. Thank you very much for your call, Jane.

That's awesome. Oscar, my son, he just always recites because my father-in-law loves a gin. A wonderful consumption of gin, John. And he's got a poster on his wall and it says, when God was handing out chins, chins,

I thought he said gins and asked for a double. That's classic. And Oscar just goes around saying that very well. When God was adding out chins, I thought he said gins so I asked for a double. We're good to be going around saying that. Everyone's like, what? Are you drinking? He doesn't even have a double chin.

Let's go to Tracy. How's Southland this morning, Trace? Hi, how you doing? We're doing very well. What's Southland this morning, Trace? Hi, how you doing? We're doing very well. What are we calling this thing, Ben? I keep trying to come up with a Cosby show and I shouldn't. Kids say funny things. What is it, Trace?

I'm not sure if it's funny or a bit cheeky, but I sit down in the morning, sit down to sleep, daughter comes blasting into the room, car keys in hand and says, stuffy guys, I'm going to Kmart now. Six in the morning, Kmart, okay. Yeah, 24-hour sub-stores. 24-hour Kmart, yeah.

You'd be promising you were going to take me. I might as well take the bull by the horns. I haven't driven yet by myself, but it looks easy. Oh, that's wonderful. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, here's a genuine question. We're just a genuine show, aren't we

Ben? We only ever ask genuine questions. I started the program talking about my bubble bath I had last night. You've spoken so much about your soapy bubble bath. The 7 o'clock club don't know about the bubble bath. They've just woken up. They want to know if I've had a bubble bath or not. So imagine

all this. This white beluga whale sitting in a bubble bath. So I did that last night. But a towel that I have been using, and here's my genuine question. Thank you, Millennial Max. Were you recording me last night? He's always recording. That's the beautiful thing about Millennial Max. He's always on. Where was that microphone? Can I hear that again? Yeah, of course. You're committed to audio.

My genuine question. Why do you have a bubble bath? I hadn't had a bath in years. That's what I treat myself being. Sometimes you need to indulge, don't you? It's me time. My question is... Oh, no, not like that. Just you in the bath.

Yeah, just me. It's a repulsor gas. No, but the bath's in the same room as the shower, right? And so the towel I've been using, and back to my original point that you keep railroading, my genuine question, how long do you push a towel for? The use of drying your body.

Because I have pushed this towel probably about a fortnight now and it's on its limits. It's on its limits. The towel, the stuff that towel's seen, he's like, I've got no more drying left in me. Retire me. Put me out in the garage, you know, with the dog's towels. I can imagine you're one of those people too

that sort of does the towel between the legs sort of dry. Oh, I do. Well, how else do you dry that bit? The back and forth sort of seesaw sort of What do you do? Do you do squats to air dry that part? How do you dry it? I'm not a back and forth sort of, you know. A quick wipe. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The towel looks sad. It looks like it just wants to

retire from its line of work. If it goes back to the hall cupboard, it'd be like, oh, guys, I forgot a story to tell you. Don't put me back out there. Don't put me back on coach. I am done. But how long do you push a towel for? Oh, well, not two weeks for me.

It's on a heated thing, so it dries. Maybe students in Dunedin will say yearly, probably. Do a cheeky text poll, shall we? 4487, how long have you pushed a towel to its limits for? How many weeks? I'm a couple of days at best, you know? I reckon a week.

Oh, well, Fortnite's pretty good then. It's got no more dry... It can't actually hold any more moisture now. I'm full, boss. We'll find out how the text poll goes. Four, four, eight, seven. Text pouring in. Four, four, eight, seven.

A lot of people with that emoji, you know, the one with the green fountain coming out of the mouth. I don't know what that's symbolising. But that's the feedback I'm getting. Jono, you cretin. That's one wonderful text. You're gross. You're disgusting. Jono, you cretin. That's one wonderful tip. You're gross. You're disgusting.

After every wash, some people. Yeah, some people wouldn't even use it for a second round. Two days max seems to be the popular. That's probably where I'm sitting at the moment. Some people are like, you can push it out to a week if you're lucky. I'm going to take it to Christmas. I'm going to ride this thing all the way to Christmas. No.

Anyway. No. No. The show's sponsored. On a lighter note, the show to Christmas. No. Anyway. No. No. The show's sponsored. On a lighter note, the show's sponsored. Well, one part of the show is sponsored.

Jono and... Oh, no, no, no, no. Just Jono on The Hit's Breakfast. Brought to you by Skinny. That's right, Skinny. Come on board with me, not Ben.

Which is causing a fraction between us, isn't it? It's a little awkward. Let's be honest, it's a little awkward. You've sold your part of the show. I've done my bit. The big Bogsy, our CEO, he's happy with me. He's like, mate, you're ticking boxes.

Employee of the month. You've filled out the spreadsheets for the month. It was awkward yesterday. Monthly targets hit by Jono. Yeah, so you've been sponsored by Jono. All about what are you, why? You're letting the team down, mate. So yesterday you did some giveaways, thanks to Skinny,

and I was allowed to go mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. Yeah. What was that? Yeah, that's right. This is the age-old friendship problem. We're only one of you sponsored by a generous telco. I'm not part of this deal at all. You can go mm-mm.

Oh, okay. Oh, thank you. Yeah, that was yesterday on the show. Well, I've had some feedback from the client. Too much mm. Oh, no, what? They want you to do too much. Well, Tony, I haven't said anything. Tony, no, it's too much.

Mm-mm-mm. They're like, no, no. They're going, no, no. Mm-mm-mm. It's not me, it's the client. I've got to keep the client happy, mate. I'm here to service the client, not you. I've tried to service you in the past.

You won't have a bar of it. You never called me the next day. Okay, well, so, look, next I want to, can I give Skitty a call and see if I can be involved? Why do you want to talk to my client? Can I? What? Next, I want to see if I can get involved and be part of this.

Yeah, okay. Max, Millennial Max, he's pushing the buttons this morning for Producer Juliet. Do you feel some coattails are being written here? Because I do, but yeah, I'll help you out. Whatever, buddy. Let's do that next. Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them.

That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, Jono, you've got a sponsorship deal for the show. You're quite proud to announce it. I was very excited, too, until I found out it's just for you. It's just for the Jono part of Jono and Ben on the hits. Yeah, Jono is partnering with Skinny. My new partner is Skinny.

And it's wonderful to have a partnership with them. And Ben, if you want to get your own sponsors, you can. I mean, I've come, how many times have I said to you, Ben, I've got you a lucrative cigarette sponsorship deal. I got you that great fit tea deal on social media. You didn't want to borrow that. Ashley Madison, that website where people have extramarital affairs. I didn't want to be the face of that.

No, so you turn these things down. I give you opportunities and then all of a sudden when I get one, it's like, oh, you got a skin sponsorship deal. I want to be part of this. I want to be part of the skinny partnership. Anyway, so what will you have? I think we might have Ali, the big boss at Skinny partnership. Anyway, so what will you have? I think we might have Ali, the big boss at Skinny on the phone,

if I'm correct. Producer Humphrey's got her on. Ali? Hello. Hello. Hello, Ali. It's Jono here. How are you?

I'm good, thanks. How are you? Lovely, lovely to hear your voice. Now, I have brought a third party along. Hi, Ali. Can I say hi to Ali? No, no, no, you can't. You talk through me. What do you want to say to. Hi Ali, can I say hi to Ali? No, you can't. You talk through me. What do you want to say to Ali? Ben would like to say hello to you.

Hello, hello. Ali says hello back. I can hear her saying hello to me but thank you. Everything going well with the sponsorship so far Ali? It's so great. Good to have you on board Jono. It's so good to be sponsored. It feels great. I walk in here with an air of cockiness about me. It's so good to be sponsored. It feels great. I walk in here with an air of cockiness about me.

I'm like, look who's sponsored. And Ben's not sponsored. Oh, no, no. What did you want to say to Ellie? Like, I want to get involved. I want to be part of this. He's saying he wants to get involved, Ellie. Well, Jono, you can tell Ben that it's really because this is the best way. It's the most efficient way to only really sponsor one of you

because we need to keep our prices low. That's right. So we're just going to sponsor Jono. Sorry. Ben, she's saying you're an absolute twit. No, it's not what she said. She just said that. I just heard her.

She just told me, Ben Boyd, tell Benny he's a twit. But I could keep my prices low. Ben's saying he's willing to do anything to keep his prices low. Anything, right? Anything. Anything, yeah. She'll only say anything? Quite quizzical.

Yeah, anything. She wants you to stick with it. I want to be part of this skinny sponsor show. I don't want just Jono. It's Jono and Ben. I want to be part of this. I know it's a bit mean, but you just might have to deal with it. She's saying deal with it.

Twit. She didn't say twit. She deal with it. She's saying deal with it. She didn't say twit. She didn't say twit, I heard her. So I'm here right now, even though I can't talk to her. Can you ask Ellie if I could, I don't know why I can't ask her myself, could I prove myself? Like, could I be part of this? He's wanting to prove himself, Ellie. I don't know,

why would we want to pay for both of you when we can just get two of you for the price of one? Well, that's right, that's right. She's picked the cheaper option, Ellie. I don't know. Why would we want to pay for both of you when we can just get two of you for the price of one? Well, that's right. That's right. She's picked the cheaper option, me. I know I'm the cheapest one. I'm the ago. I'm the ago on the team. I'm more affordable. Will you tell me what you're willing to do then for Ellie

and I'll tell her. I'll do some stuff. I just want to prove myself. I want a chance to prove myself. I'll think of some stuff. I want a chance to prove myself that I should be part of this. Ellie, I don't know if you can hear him, but you'd think he might have come a bit more prepared to this meeting. I didn't know this meeting was happening. You can't just go, I'll just do some stuff.

I have some examples for God's sake. Anyway, Ellie, I'm sorry. I see why you've gone with me. It seemed like a sensible decision. I'll come back to Ellie. I'll come back with some examples. You tell her that. She'll be wowed.

Let's see, eh? Let's see. Let's see. Okay, well, Ellie and me, can you leave, please? Because Ellie and me need to have a conversation. I'll take my headphones off. Yeah, go. You can leave the room.

Ellie, thank you so much for your time. It's always lovely hearing your voice. You go. Thank you so much, Ellie. You have a wonderful day. You too, guys. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Yeah, yesterday I brought some audio to the show, which I was learning something off YouTube, how to play a video game with my son Oscar, and this wonderful man who is on the verge of taking over the world with an evil plan was our instructor. Hello, everyone. I'm going to show you how to repair your armor and tools with enchants on them. I love him.

He's awesome. We need to get him as the voice of the show. You're listening to the journal. I can't do it. And if I do do it, it might be deemed a little offensive in 2020. I've offended someone there. So because you were learning that off YouTube, actually, my daughter Sienna was listening to the show

and she likes gymnastics and all that sort of stuff. And she, off YouTube yesterday, was watching... I think that's what they call it at the Olympics. Welcome to the gymnastics

and all that sort of stuff. Exciting day of events planned today. All that sort of stuff. What's this one called? I don't know. It's part of the stuff. But she'd been wanting

to learn how to do a backflip on the tramp and I obviously can't teach her so she's been watching YouTube clips. This seems like shocking parenting on your part. I can't do it. Just look on YouTube. It's a backflip. And she's actually really good at all that sort of stuff and yesterday she nailed

it. Alright, you've been doing it all day. You nailed one before. Let's see if you nailed another one from YouTube, teaching you. Okay. Yay! And I... I imagine the silent bit was when she was flipping. Yeah, yeah.

And then when you guys were going, yay, she'd landed it. She'd nailed it. And then I thought, well, hey, I could watch a YouTube clip and I could nail a backflip. Okay, here I go. Tuck in, trust myself, and... Yay! I nailed it. Okay, here I go. Tuck in, trust myself, and yay! I nailed it. No, you didn't.

It's radio. It's radio. You can pretend that I did. Yes, I am. Tuck in, trust myself. That's what he also says when he's procreating. Tuck in, trust myself. I got that off a YouTube tutorial as well. So, what have you taught yourself off YouTube? Love to get your calls. We took some yesterday and I tell you off a YouTube tutorial as well. So whatever you do it yourself off YouTube.

Love to get your calls. We took some yesterday, and I tell you what, it was blowing up. The texts, the phones. Let's do it again. Round two. Bondre. Oh, well, about five or six years ago, my son came to me and asked me, Dad, how do you wheelie a mountain bike?

At that stage, I was still about 12 years old. Yeah, the no father ever wants to be asked that question. Yeah. How do you wheelie a mountain bike? At that stage, I was still about 12 years old. Yeah, the no father ever wants to be asked that question. Yeah. How do you wheelie a mountain bike? It's like when Siena asked you, how do you do a backflip? How do you do a backflip? But I had no idea. Yeah, no, I'm not going that far yet.

So I'm obviously trying to be the cool dad. I went onto YouTube, and we watched some videos, and we first went about first or two steps, and then three steps, and then four steps, and then one day he just popped a wheelie kilometre by kilometre. So I think his record at the moment is about five to six kilometres.

What? Wheeling? Doing a wheelie? Yeah. What? He can go uphill, downhill. He can probably make his own video by now. And how cool are you? The wheelie day. You're doing great. Well, i'm trying it must have gone bad a couple of times in the training runs yeah it's only once because i

washed my bike and i had some silicon spray that i sprayed my bike i like make like to make it look shiny and i got some silicon spray on my my back brakes and as i popped the wheelie and rely on the brakes there was no break so um, you just went straight back, did you? I went straight back right in front of my house. Oh, see, those are the moments when your partner comes out and goes, you're just, you're too old to be doing this. Yeah, but luckily there

was no one watching and there was no cameras rolling, luckily for me. Hey, you go and have a wonderful day. That is great. The wheelie-ing dad and his son, thanks to YouTube. Do you want to have a wonderful day. That is great. The wheelie-ing dad and his son. Thanks to YouTube. Do you want to say a special thanks to YouTube? Yeah.

Shall I get some music that you can thank YouTube under? We'll play this under, okay? Yeah, just come in when you're ready, big guy. Say thanks, YouTube. You made this awkward, John. It's like a nice little... Okay. Okay, go. Go.

Okay. Okay, go. Go. Hey, thanks, YouTube, for all the tutorial videos out there. Really makes me look like a cool dad. Thanks, YouTube. Thanks, YouTube. Thanks, YouTube. Love you, Andre. You have a good day.

Okay, cheers. Keep it up. Renee's with us on 0800 The Hits. Welcome, Renee. Good morning. Good morning. Good to have you on. What did you teach yourself from YouTube? How to fit my solar panels to a battery bank and the regulator in a house bus.

Oh my God, there's so much stuff there, I only understood one or two words. That sounds very complicated. It wasn't easy at all because on YouTube it's only American. It's not translated into, you know into our sort of English. So you, and they speak a wonderful language those Americans, don't they? It's a very special language. If only we understood what they were saying. I can tell it's special. They were saying colour without a U

and you're like, what does that mean? I don't get it. I only understand it when you say New Zolon. Solar panels, they're quite big and I imagine there's a lot of wires, a lot of connecting, a lot of electrical work that needs to take place. Yeah, yeah. It's so not easy, and you...

Oh, God, you do have to have patience. Well, you've done it, though. You did it. How long did it take you? A couple of weeks after a few tantrums. Oh, two weeks. Damn, I definitely would have called someone by then. No, I did it all without the hubby and dad. Wow.

Did it become a battle of wits and determination? Like, I imagine once you hit the one-week mark, you're like, this thing's not getting the better of me. Yep. Yep, and everyone else is like, just call someone. You're like, no, I'm not getting someone in. I said to my dad, like, I said to dad, I said, I did it. He's like, oh, yeah.

Oh, he wasn't even impressed? I just liked it. And then I told hubby, and hubby's like, oh, I didn't know you had it on you. Oh, so everyone had no confidence in you? All the haters. Yeah. All the haters All the haters Renee Yeah and then it was about

Six months later The hubby comes in And says oh The Holden needs A new Welsh plug I pulled the engine out With an engine mount Homemade engine mount

And replaced A Welsh plug You took the engine Out of a cow Oh my god You're a better You're a better Class of person

Than I will ever be, Renee. And so what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm doing it, but I'm just ending it with this weird little bit where you can pay tribute to YouTube. Caught you off guard. It's catching everyone off guard, including me. I'm not sure why we're doing this, but we're here now. What do you want to say to YouTube?

I'm patting you, Ben. Thanks, YouTube, for everything and nothing at all. Wonderful words. Almost as beautiful as that language American. You have a great day, Renee. Lovely talking to you. Lovely, guys. See you.

Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jodo and Ben on the hits. James Rolleston, the actor, he made it big 10 years ago and Taika Waititi's movie Boy is the lead character. Kia ora, my name is Boy and welcome to my interesting world.

And it's really great to see James Rolleston back on our screens. He had a really rough car accident a few years ago that left him needing to learn how to walk and talk again. Since then he's been in the likes of Shortland Street on TV and movies like The Breaker Uppers. And now he's in a brand new movie in the big screen. Out today, it's a comedy crime caper called Lowdown Dirty Criminals.

How much is in the tip? 300 cash, give or take. How much is in that? Rob, the ATM. We can just rip it out of the wall. Is that a flare gun? No. It looks really awesome

and it's great to catch up with James Rolison right now via Zoom. How's it going, buddy? Yeah, good, man. Good. Thanks for having me. Every time I talk to someone on Zoom, it looks like they're in a kidnap video.

Oh, right. You know? Looks like everyone's like, do I need to drop off a ransom to someone? No, I think he's all good. I think you're all good, James. Yeah, yeah. Just blink twice if you're in trouble.

Okay. So, James, 10 years, I was reading, since your breakout role in Taika Waititi's Boy. Yeah, yeah. Been a while. A few moons ago. Do you still keep in touch with Taika? Are you still hitting him up and trying to get a part

in the new Star Wars or anything like that? Yeah, no, unfortunately, no. I haven't heard from him for a little while. If he's ever looking for a, you know, a Maori... Space ranger? Ranger, you know, hey, I'm always here. Listen, I don't know how I obtained his email somehow. I've emailed the guy six times over the last two years

and not once has he got back to me. Do you even know it's his email? I keep trying to sign him up to our pyramid selling scheme. He's just not on board, James. Hey, so this new movie looks really cool, dude. You must be pretty stoked to get it out there. When was it filmed, and has lockdown affected the release of it? Yeah, this is an awesome film.

This was an awesome opportunity that I was presented. It was filmed middle of last year, middle of last year down Wellington, so I spent about seven weeks down there, seven or eight weeks. It stars, so not only yourself, Rebecca Gibney, Robbie Magasiva, Cohen Holloway. It looks really funny,

and I like the way you described it in another article, kind of like a mix between two movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of a mix between a Dumb and Dumber meets Pulp Fiction. There's some good laughs in there. Working with Robbie Mangasiwa,

always great. He's an awesome dude. Very funny, you know, good guy to be around and it was good to reconnect with Colin Holloway. I acted with him on Boys so it was nice to, you know, cross paths with him again and share a few laughs with Colin Holloway. I acted with him on Boys, so it was nice to cross paths with him again and share a few laughs with him on set. I imagine the New Zealand acting community is pretty small,

probably compared to the rest of the world, so you'd all know each other. You all would have crossed paths on Shortland Street somewhere along the line. At some stage in your career, you've all slept with Dr Chris Warner. You've all fallen pregnant to Dr Chris Warner. You've all fallen pregnant to Dr. Chris Warner. It happens to everyone. How is everything with you?

Because obviously, you know, you had the much publicised accident a few years ago. You pretty much had to teach yourself to walk and talk. Are things all good now? Yeah, hey, I've made massive improvements. I've come a long way. But, you know, I still live with the injury, you know. It's part of me. But, you know, hey, we're still here.

And I'm very grateful and thankful that I'm still able to do what I'm doing, can still act. And people still want me to be in the New Zealand film industry, which is awesome. I still go through things. Yeah, I can imagine. As you would do. As you would do.

And, I mean, you're doing some fantastic work at the moment, and it must have been such a journey to get back to, I imagine, remembering lines, figuring out how to do your job, how to perform. Yeah, yeah, no, there are definitely some tricky times, having to relearn these things. The smallest things is even brushing my teeth, you know, that something as small as that, I'm thankful and grateful that I can, yeah, I'm still, like I said, I'm still in the industry

and I still can do what I do. And people still want me, so that role has been offered to me, you know, kind of thing. Can anyone else hear that weird noise? Can you hear that weird noise? Someone's getting notifications. I'm like, oh, they're over the zoo. Am I getting emails or hear that weird noise? Someone's getting notifications. I was like, oh, they're over the zoo. Am I getting emails or are you getting emails?

Someone's getting messages. I actually just, I just heard that notification go. Yeah, I thought I was going crazy. Who's getting a notification? Someone's getting late for a meeting. We've got James Rollison with us. He's got a new movie. It looks very funny.

A comedy crime caper. It's called Low Down Dirty Criminals. It's in cinemas as of today. James, because it's about a crime caper, I found a couple of headlines online. I want you to tell. These are crime headlines. Are they true or false? Alright? I want to see if you know.

So a man was jailed after reporting theft of his own cannabis plants. True or false? False. No, it's actually true. He reported the... He was a little bit too high, and it was in fact him that had got rid of him.

Oh, he just smoked them? Yeah. So the cops came around and found some cannabis plants, and that's what happened. Okay, he's none for one so far on these true or false crime headlines. Next one, Ben Boyce. Drunk man breaks into pizza hut and fries chicken wings.

True or false? I'm going to have to say that one was true. That is true. It is true. Mind you, if you're breaking into pizza hut, making a pizza is quite detailed.

So you went with the chicken wings, which is a good option. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like a bit of meat and thin crust. The thin crust. Andy, do you go like a supreme meat lover?

Sometimes they go, here's 14 different meats. I didn't even know there were 14 different meats. They've made up three meats and they're chucking them on a pizza. We'll move on from this. And final, final one, true or false, crime headlines I found online. A couple discover burglar in house after the burglar laughs at a husband's joke. True or false? I'm going to say false.

That was true. They were all true. They were all true. What a stupid game. You said it was a true. I wasn't smart enough to come up with it. You told James Rolleston they were true or false, but they were all true. James, I apologise.

They were all true or false, but they happened to be true. He's going to buy you a thin crust pizza to say sorry, OK, mate? We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Some wild conspiracies going around the world at the moment, particularly COVID-based. And so we thought we would fuel that anxious fire. It's our role in the media.

Less about COVID, just look into other conspiracy theories. Yeah, just keep everyone on edge. Like everyone on edge. And yesterday we kicked things off with a wonderful conversation with Soddy. Soddy, who was named after a sausage because he's got a body like a sausage. Yeah, it didn't quite make sense. That's the Mad Butcher's dream man right there. Sausage body. Now, Soddy had seen the mid-Canterbury panther,

the elusive panther that's roaming around the seen the mid-Canterbury panther, the elusive panther that's roaming around the hills in mid-Canterbury. Now, you have seen the panther, the Ashburton mid-Canterbury panther. You've seen it with your own eyeballs. Sure have, sure have. It was definitely a large cat. I'd say dog sort of size, maybe a Labrador.

Right. The panther has been around for so many years. It must be nearly 132 years old. That panther that escaped actually was pregnant. They reckon that it's actually possible for it to have bred with other feral cats in the wild. What do you want to say to the haters, mate? Get out there and look for it yourself. Get out there.

Now we're moving on to alien conspiracies today because one of the biggest series in the world right now on Netflix is called Unsolved Mysteries and one particular episode, if you've seen it, involves the famous 1969 UFO sightings in Berkshire, USA. Now many people claim in the town to have seen this or have witnessed this and some of the people think they were

abducted by aliens taken onto the ship when it happened at the time. Yeah, and so yesterday we spoke with the man who was at the centre of that said ab time. Yeah, and so yesterday we spoke with the man who was at the centre of that said abduction. Yeah, Thomas Reid joined us on Zoom and we asked him how he was going. Hey, thank you.

So Tom, you're probably sick of telling this story, but just for some people that haven't seen the show, can you quickly explain what happened on September 1st, 1969? Yeah, sure. I was riding a horse show. We had horses when I grew up and I was in competition

and they had come to an end and we were heading back to our diner and we kept it open later because it was a holiday. And I think one of the reasons there were so many witnesses because it was a holiday and a lot of people were outside

having barbecues and there was a lot of outdoor events. So being that this happened around dusk, a lot of people saw it. But yeah, we went to a diner, put the chairs up, locked it up, got it ready for the following morning and we're taking a shortcut home. We went through the Sheffield Bridge.

When we came into the bridge, my grandmother noticed through the planks to the bottom of the bridge that there was a leak of light. And by the time we came out the other side of it, we had seen a sphere about four times the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. It looked like a light bulb or a bubble that had self-contained light, nothing bleeding off of it, just kind of like a glowing type of circle type thing.

It was probably two stories high. Wow. It was silent. We were kept moving forward and the, I call it a sphere, kind of rose up a little bit more and then started going in the direction we were going, but it was behind a line of trees. And so my mother went down. And at that point, we had lost sight of this white circular sphere. So we're sitting in the car, right? And this is where it starts to get weird because once we had almost come to a stop,

it was kind of like being in the eye of a storm. You know, all of a sudden everything's almost overly quiet. And it felt very much like someone had just flipped, you know, the switch off on light for a minute. And then, bang, all of a sudden the car lit up, which I think was that sphere, had come back to the car and somehow fired some light at the car. I'm only assuming. I don't know. The car exploded in light. Wow. And, you know, we all have some very strange memories of what happened afterwards. This is a loose story, Tom.

And, you know, whenever you hear people being abducted by aliens, it's sort of always promoted as a negative experience, isn't it? And who knows, Ben, the aliens might take them out for a lovely steak meal. All right. You never know what happens, do you? No, I don't. Yeah, that's true.

What happened to you when you came to, Tom? When we came to in the vehicle, my grandmother was in the driver's seat. My mother was now in the passenger seat. So my grandmother, being the only one conscious, she took the car down this narrow, single-lane dirt road, turned around and went back to town for help. So you guys, she's the only one awake at this point.

You're all passed out. Everybody's responding and she very seldom ever drove. Well, she's in a different position. So she's driving when your mom was driving before. Yeah, they were swapped in their seats. Wow. And she was so out of it, she actually passed the store she went to help for. And she had to turn around again and pull back into the

second entrance. Got out of the car when her door slammed is what she thinks woke me because I came too and I saw her walking in the store. And so I got out, followed her into Silks. And this is strange too. Silks was the store she was going for help. And then my grandmother walks right in and passes the clerk and goes all the way to the back of the store. And so she went in for help but walked right by the clerk like she didn't know what she was there for. So I found her in the back of the store and I was grabbing her hand, you know, because I was nervous. I didn't know what was going on.

You know, it was a weird night for us, very, very difficult. Yeah. And so she goes back outside now my mother's awake and so at that point they all just decided to go home and that's when all these reports started coming over

from all the witnesses from the night before Amazing tale wasn't it? It's on Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix right now Not every day you talk to a man who's been abducted by an alien being voiced

and I know people might be going oh that didn't happen that didn't happen but they have actually gone through quite a stringent legal process to get the US government to acknowledge that this event took place. And so many people in the town,

in different parts of the town, seem to have witnessed this one thing. And so, who knows? They put a statue on the town and everything. We've got more paranoia and conspiracy coming up. Like starting your day with Panda Eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Synchronise Odds.

Oh, yeah, this is a fun game where we give you a prize and then savagely try and steal it off you by synchronising an answer. Millennial Max, you're going to fill the role of Producer Juliet. You're going to throw out a category. Ben and myself have to try and sync up an answer. I'm petitioning this for an Olympic sport, I think. That's quite fun. It is really fun.

Imagine this Tokyo 2020, but it's 2021. But they can't be bothered rebranding it. We've spent too much on marketing. We can't change the zero to a one at the end. Oh, but I understand. There's all sorts of paraphernalia. But it's not going to make sense. It's going to be 2021 and we're like...

Yeah, but it makes sense. It does not make sense. Stop saying it makes sense. We'll put banners up everywhere. I don't need to. There's enough going on in the world. Do you know how much we spent on signage for 2020? Yeah.

Go around there, take those down. It's going to confuse everyone. They're going to look back on history. They're going to go, when was the Olympics? It was 2021, but they keep saying it was 2020. It was odd. They were worried about rebranding it. But anyway, Hayden, welcome.

You're on the phone from Waitoa this morning. Yeah, bloody oath, mate. Bloody oath. Hayden, too much man on the phone from White Tor this morning. Yeah, bloody oath, mate. Bloody oath. Hayden, too much man on the show. Sounds like he swallowed three men. Bloody oath, bloody oath. Yeah, I love him. I love you.

What do you do, Hayden? Dairy farming. Oh, I love it. Great job. What time do you get up in the morning for dairy farming? 4.30 on a lucky day. Oh, wee. There must be some bleak mornings in the middle of winter, Hayden.

Yeah, yeah. It's not too great on a frost. Well, spare a thought for us in our comfortable air-conditioned studio, mate. We also get up early, say some words into a microphone. Hayden, well, you've got a prize. You've got $40 hell pizza, but Jono and I could take it off us,

off you, sorry, if we synchronise one of our answers, okay? Yeah, no worries. So you just hold there? You don't have to do anything? But we could take the prize off you. You can still milk a cow with the other hand. All right, multitask, mate. Let's get this thing going. All right, Millennial Max, first category.

All right, first category, types of soft drink. Fanta. Oh, no! Damn! Damn! What? Fanta. Oh, no. Damn. Damn. What? Why did you go Fanta? I went Fanta.

I'm going Fanta. See, this is why it should be at Tokyo 2021 slash 2020. Hayden, listen, love your work. We took the prize off you, but you know what's going to happen. I say it every time. Ben will talk to you off air and say we'll send you something anyway. Yeah, I just hold the line. I want to have a chat to Hayden just about some other stuff.

It's important. It makes the whole game redundant. Hayden comes on, we play the game, and then you give him a prize anyway. We may not do that off air. Just hold the line, Hayden. Who knows what's going to happen to you off air. But on the air right now. I know what's going to happen to him off air.

You're going to send him frigging movie tickets. Tell pizza, mate. Low in calories and low in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Here comes a news update that will inevitably feature Donald Trump or coronavirus. So this is Scrolling Through Feed.

I'm trying to avoid that today because I think we're all a bit tapped out with that sort of news. I am. And I think Ashley and Jacinda have done a wonderful job. But when I see them on the news... An unlawful job. Unlawful. Nine days.

How dare they keep us safe and healthy. And I take them to justice. But yeah, I'm kind of getting... Every time I watch it, I'm like, oh, she can't be bothered. I'm getting over it. Yeah, well, that's why I want to focus on some other things. Oh, good.

In Germany, there's a new law that's going to come in soon that basically means that you have to walk, dog owners have to walk their dogs twice a day, twice a day to ensure the nation's 9.4 million dogs get enough exercise. And it can't be just a quick walk around the block. It's got to be like about an hour walk twice a day for the dogs so they get enough exercise. How are they going to police that?

Police dogs, police dogs. German shepherds. But that's a good point. You're going to police that? Police dogs. Police dogs. German shepherds. But that's a good point. You're going to come around and go. Mate, you didn't walk your dog for one hour and 42 minutes. Maybe there's a little Fitbit they have to put on the dog. Come back in the day and go, well, hang on, he's got more steps to do.

They love a dog, don't they? And they love a sausage, the Germans. Jeez, they love a sausage. They've got the Frankfurters. They've got the other ones. Love the sausage. What other sausages have they got? Bratwurst? Oh, yeah, they're good, aren They've got the Frankfurters. They've got the other ones. Love the sausage. What other sausages have they got? Bratwurst?

Oh, yeah, they're good, aren't they? They're good ones, yeah. Max? Currywurst? Yeah. Max, your mother's from Germany. Yes. You love a sausage?

I am a big fan of cooked sausages. I'm looking at 12 different varieties of sausage the Germans lay claim to. Oh, really? They're really- Very passionate about their sausages. And their dogs as well. And also- You've got a dog? Yeah. Well, yeah,'re really very passionate about their sausage. And their dogs as well. Yeah. And also.

You've got a dog? Yeah. I have got a dog. And sausage dogs. He's six, he's a few kgs old. Oh, it's a dog show. No, the vet, we were filming a dog show, Max, Millennial Max, and the vet came out and fat shamed Ben's dog.

He was like, oh, hang on. Oh. It's like grabbing, you know, when you grab the chunk of fat. Put him up on the scales. He's like, oh, yeah, you need to kind of walk. Because he's quite fluffy and we do walk him, but yeah. It hides his... And so he shamed you. And the dog.

Via the dog. But yeah, basically shamed me. It's the dog equivalent of just wearing black all the time like I do, just to hide the little lumps and bumps. How long do you walk him for a day? Well, I probably, at the moment, definitely during lockdown it's the one time you go out with the family. You go out for like an hour or so.

But that's not like a two-hour walk twice a day. That's a commitment. That is a commitment. And middle seats on planes, one of the things they're looking at in the future is having different layouts in a plane because of COVID-19. So airlines are considering flipping the middle seats around so they face the other way.

So the aisle seat and the window seat will still face the same way and the middle seat will go around the other way and also have like a protective barrier on either side like you would go when you go into a shop and they've got the barriers, the sort of plastic barriers. Because they can figure the plane any way they want. I guess they can. I'm gathering.

Yeah. Because we went on that. Remember we went on that flight and I was squeezed up, my knees were up behind my ears. Oh, yes. Yeah, and I had to be like a contortionist to squeeze in there. I was like, surely they can spread these out. Just five centimetres?

I was like, is this a prank? You fell asleep. I was inside by the window. You fell asleep. You were in the middle, and I didn't want to wake you up because a sleeping Ben Boyce is just a sight for sore eyes. It's a wonderful sight. You could just look at that little man sleeping for hours.

And I did, I did. I just weirdly stared at you for six to eight hours. Ignored the in-flight entertainment and just laughed. Yeah, it was a look at my friend. Look at him sleeping there. And I needed to go to the toilet, so I was like, I can't wake this little treasure up. So I decided to clamber over you.

But, you know, it's that same thing when you walk past someone at the movies when they're sitting down. Do you go butt first or do you go front first? Straddle. And I straddled front first. But you climbed over the seats, you know, because there wasn't much room. And I woke up with his crotch. Right.

Terrifying sight. Both sort of seats. You had your feet on either side of the armrest and your crotch right there. And Froger, he woke up with my little frankfurter in his face. My little German sausage. And he was not on board with that.

He was on board on the plane, but not on board with that. And that is scrolling through your feed this morning. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. The A to Z of New Zealand. Hello?

Hi there. Hi there. Who we got? Hello, is this Tilby Lewis From the Tilby Lewis Candle Company This is Bridget Yep Bridget Wellwood

Oh Bridget It's Jono and Ben Calling from The Hits Radio Station Wow Yeah well A little bit more excited Thanks

Oh she said well Hey morning We're ringing every town And city in New Zealand We're doing one a day And today Eka Tahuna's turn It's your turn Far out And all I know about Eke Tahuna's turn. It's your turn.

Far out. And all I know about Eke Tahuna is there's a big kiwi, a big kiwi statue on the side of the road, and it's about 25 minutes out of Masterton, where I used to live. Yeah, there's a kiwi there. Yep. On the side of the road, there's a big kiwi sort of statue thing of a kiwi. I remember that about Eke Tahuna.

Are there kiwis in Eke Tahuna? Are there? Not a lot. It's kind of a long way from anywhere and a little sort of snoozy little town. Okay. You make candles? We do. No, we make, my husband rolls them up

and I put them in the box and send them off. And if you're working late making candles, are you burning the candle at both ends? We definitely work late to make candles. We're night time folks, so we're up working late making candles, are you burning the candle at both ends? We definitely work late to make candles. We're night-time folks, so we're up all night making candles. And we try and get them on the courier and get them away. Did you get his candle reference there? Burning the candle at both ends?

No, it probably wasn't worth repeating, was it? We do actually have a double-ended candle for a joke candle. Oh, so you can't burn a candle at both ends. There you go. I like that. I like that. People are very confused by that. Oh, I like it.

I would like it. That's one for me. Comedy candle. We can organise to get you one. So, Nikatahuna, a few years ago, I understand there was a bit of an adult store that opened up. It caused a bit of a kerfuffle. Oh, it's going.

Great guns. I think it's the one that survived the lockdown better than anybody. They've got a double-ended candle as well. They've got double-ended candles. That's a really cranking business in town. That's one that really is going. And do you go into the boutique? In the boutique?

Does it go alright? We occasionally slip into a boutique and next time, you know. So what have you purchased from the boutique? You don't have to out yourself on radio. That's your business. That's right. Yeah, that's right.

You need your mind. There's a reason why the shop's thriving. Yeah, that's a great business. And I think people are, you know, they're looking for a bit of how to make your own fun. Yeah. You guys should team up with them. Put some candles on at night and you can, you know, yeah. I think I might burn a bit hot.

Burn a bit hot. Set the mood. Yeah. Thank you, guys. That's great. And yeah, Beeswax Candles, that's where it's at. Beeswax Candles? Beeswax.

Beeswax. It's got Tilby Lewis Candle Company on the internet here. Yep. Yep. Is that? That's us. Oh, but then you just said beeswax. That's none of your beeswax.

They're made of beeswax. Okay. But it's still... Okay. All right. There we go. Thank you so much. You look after yourself.

Cheers, guys. Have a good day. See ya. Bye. The A to Z of New Zealand will continue again tomorrow on The Hits as we make our way around every town and city

in New Zealand. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on The Hits. Spy. The What's Up by Docco.nz.

Now here's a bunch of stories that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things. Ben Boyce coming in with Spy. Producer Juliet is sitting on the benches today. Can I thank you for that wonderful introduction, really?

Put me up on a pedestal there for what I'm about to say. Barack Obama, the former President of the United States, took to social media this week. He does this every year. He unveils his top tracks, his top musical tracks for the season, for the year. Season. Barack's top 20 bangers.

He's got 53 songs to get him through 2020. He says over the past few months I've spent a lot of time listening to music with my family and some of his songs are some old ones, some new ones. A whole lot of mix. I don't ever really sit down and listen to music with my family. Do you? Do you go, alright family, let's all sit down

and listen to music? Oh no, but you have it on I guess. Oh you have it on, yeah. Yeah, time now for our weekly sit down and music listen to. So I included everything, Billie Eilish, Frank Ocean, some old songs like Bob Marley and the Wailers. This is lovely. Do you know who made it? Jim Wigmore made his list one year.

That's right, Kiwi artist Jim Wigmore. When he was sitting president. Yeah. And that was a great day. Also Rihanna as well on his list. And just to feel extra current, you know, he's on top of things, the musical game at the moment, Barack Obama, savage. On his top 50 songs of 2020.

Jerking his daughter, Malika is his daughter, isn't it? She must be like, like dad can you not release your 50 songs so embarrassing oh it's so lame even though you're like Bracken Barber to me

is like one of the coolest guys in the world you know but even you're right even his daughters are probably like oh dad

oh shame and then you'd be doing the dance you're right you'd be doing the savage dance probably really well my daughter Poppy

was trying to teach me tikt TikTok dances yesterday and she was crying with laughter. I was like, well, I'm no good at this. Why are you making me do this? I know I look like an idiot. But we're wondering what would Donald Trump's top songs of 2020 be? If he could release songs, you know, his playlist.

And all he could come up with was Jewel, Small Hands. He's got small hands. My hands, small I, but they're not yours. They are my own. What an absolutely ludicrous song. My hands are small. They are my hands. They're not your hands.

They're not your hands. They're my hands. You'd be like, oh, yeah. Do you reckon Jewel just wrote that down as a bit of filler content in the recording session? And then suddenly they're like, oh. Oh, we're mixing? We're mastering it?

Oh, that's out there. Oh, sorry. That was just a demo. Anyway. My hands are small. How are your hands? You've got nice hands. Oh, they're medium.

My hands are medium, I know. Max, millennial Max, how are your hands? They're small. No, they're good hands. They're nice hands. Nice hands. Average. Average size.

And also in Spine Timber News, I thought this was a really lovely story. So two identical twin sisters, they married identical twin brothers. So the two sets of twins married each other. They're both identical and they're pregnant at the same time. How's that? Well, that means they've just been yearning

for a quirky internet story. Yeah, they had a wedding together. Oh, of course they did. And then they fornicated together, which is weird at the same time. Announced with a lovely Baywatch themed photo shoot Of course they did, and then they fornicated together, which is weird, at the same time. Announced it with a lovely Baywatch-themed photo shoot with Babywatch, and they're in togs and stuff like that. So, yeah, there you go.

It's pretty cool. So, identical twins. You know, when I started this and said, you know, these are a bunch of stories that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things, you didn't help yourself out with that one. The Obama one was good. That was solid content.

Mind you, this morning before the show, you're like, there's not much out there. I'm going to be reaching this morning. I know a set of identical twins, two dudes, and one of their workmates didn't know that they were twins, they were identical twins. So he was at a pool and he saw what he thought was the guy he works with, not realising it was this identical twin brother.

And they have quite a good relationship at work, just give each other a bit of grief. And he went up to this guy guy thinking it was the guy he worked with going oh mate looking a bit podgy punching his squidge his stomach just as a joke and the guy was like oh okay because he doesn't know him at all and then when he got back to

work on Monday he's like oh hey mate you didn't take that joke very well over the weekend he's like oh it wasn't me he just started grabbing someone else's belly oh god oh mate look at you I was like, oh, it wasn't me. It was my... He just started grabbing someone else's belly. Oh, God. Oh, mate, look at you. This is the guy at the pool wandering around poking everyone.

Oh, mate, New Year's hasn't been kind to you. He's walking away as that guy, though, going, oh, I just got shamed by that guy. I can't believe it. Even just have the gall to grab it and like jiggle it. Great day at the pools. And now for more Spy, you can head to thehits.co.nz. Start your day the wrong way.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We like to end the show on a positive note, and it's important right now that we spread some positivity. So why is it going to be a good day? Oh, Andrew, the hits. Oh, I'll tell you why it's going to be a good day. For me being on my way to work this morning, I got every green light. You love that.

Yeah. Little things are little things. And I pretended the orange ones were green. And the red ones as well. And the red ones. The main thing was I didn't stop rolling. He's very colourblind, Jono. So why is it going to be a good day?

We're going to go to the phones on 0800 The Hits. Marley, how's it going? Good. Why is it going to be a good day? We're going to go to the phones on 0800 The Hits. Marley, how's it going? Good. Why is today going to be a good day? Because I didn't get a filling in my tooth. Oh, you didn't get a filling. Oh, the dentist. Isn't that a huge win?

Don't you dread going to the dentist? Yeah. And you didn't get a filling. You must be brushing your teeth. Mm-hmm. Are you a flosser, Marley? Today, yeah. Yeah, just before going.

You just must have had two, haven't you? On the morning, you're like, I'm flossing, I'm brushing, I'm doing all the things. Well, I mean, when they ask, are you flossing, then you don't lie. Yeah, you're a floss. Today I am. Yeah, that's for sure. Marley, you have a great day. We're going to give you a double pass for the movies.

Yep. You and your tartar-free teeth going to have a lovely day, eh? We'll take one more quick call before we go. Sarah, was it going to be a good day? We're in on a good note. Sarah, you come and give it straight to us. Put us in this. Put it in our pie holes.

Well, we have five children, and my partner is off work today, so we don't get much time together, and today's date day. Oh, date day. And again, continuing the fine tradition of the most fertile radio audience. Five kids. Five kids. What have you got planned today? So we're going to go out for lunch with our four-month-old girl

and, yeah, just make the most of not having the other four at home for the day. Oh, nice. That's adorable. Flick you a double pass to Reading Cinemas. Thank you so much for listening. Enjoy your date day. You too. Thanks.

Bye. Thank you, everyone, for listening to the show. We really do appreciate it. Tomorrow on the show, we've got Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. It's a big day for New Zealand. They were going to review the Level 3, Level 2. And all-black Damien McKenzie. We'll catch you then from 6.