Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - August 24 - Your Side Hustles, Dr. Siouxsie Wiles, The A To Z Of New Zealand

Episode Date: August 23, 2020

Mondeeeeeee how are ya! Our country has really expanded its vocabulary since Covid hit; Cluster... community transmission... outbreak... the list goes on! So Ben called a cafe and tried to book a table, but the challenge was he had to drop as many of those topical jargon words into the convo as possible. Jono also explained how he was caught on his daughters Zoom call in a very vulnerable scenario! Finally, we learnt about your side hustles, and we also caught up with Dr. Siouxsie Wiles - the wonderful microbiologist who talked us through the current stages of Covid. Enjoy!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and B**** in your mornings on the hits. Brought to you by Skinny. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Back for another potty. Back in the podcast game. Jono and Ben back at it again. Your boys. Don't say your boys. We're just talking about that off air. Can I say it's your boy? Laura McGoldrick who does the 3pm pick up, she says it's your girl Laura here sometimes I hear her say your voice. We're just talking about that off air. Can I say, it's your boy? Laura McGoldrick, who does the 3PM Pickup,

she says, it's your girl, Laura here. Sometimes I hear her say it on promise. She sounds good saying it. Can I say, it's your boy? Do I sound good saying it? No. Maybe if you rang your parents. It's your boy.

And you join and be like, it's your boy, Jono here. They'll be like, oh, g'day, Jono. Yeah, that kind of works. That works fine. But then that's not the cool way that I want to say it. No, but that's... They gave birth to me. Technically, I am their boy.

It's your boy. But I want to say it in the term that would give me some cred. We're not. We're not credible sort of people. We're not. Where did our credibility go? I don't think we had it, to be honest. Do you reckon we've ever had credibility?

I was trying to think of that the other day. I don't know if we did. No. Oh, I didn't. You might have. No, no, I don't think we had it. Do you reckon we've ever had credibility? I was trying to think of that the other day. I don't know if we did. No. I didn't. You might have. No, no, I don't think any. No, there's been no part of me that's had any credible chapter in my career. No, I'm trying to think of my credible years. Well, you know, either way, we've got none of it now. No. Whether we've had it or not, the important thing is there's nothing in the tank now, in the credibility tank. Zero, zero credibility. Just reading online, another name, another cool name that someone's given to someone. Robert Pattinson, you know him from Twilight. He's the new Batman. Is he the new Batman? He's the new Batman.

He's a wonderful choice. Ah, Bats. They're calling him. He used to call him Ah, Bats. Ah, Pats. Now they're calling him Ah, Bats. Well, that's quite good, eh? He's got credibility, you know? I thought they should have put Idris Elba in as Batman. Oh, he'd be cool, pets. Now they're calling him Ah, Bats. Well, that's quite good, eh? He's got credibility, you know?

I thought they should have put Idris Elba in as Batman. Oh, he'd be cool, yeah. He'd be a great Batman. They talked about him for Bond. He'd be really good, too. He'd be great, but put him in everything. Put Idris Elba in everything. Put him in this radio show.

Someone get Idris Elba in here. Put him in this podcast right now. We've got a very exciting show. Dr. Susie Wiles, you'll know her from the TV. Lady with the vibrant pink hair has been explaining COVID-19 to all of us as it's been playing out over the last few months. She joins us on the program. And you ask her about dead old wives, which I found very interesting.

Yeah, and 99.9% of germs. What does that mean when they say they can kill 99.9% of germs? Is there a little percentage of germs still hanging on there? Sticking its fingers in its ears, doing that thing going, meh, meh, meh, meh. Can't get me. We'll get Susie onto that very shortly. Enjoy the podcast. Have a wonderful day.

It's your boy. The Songy Corn Flakes of Radio. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, we are in the midst of a pandemic, Ben. We are, yeah. So, a bit of a backstory to this next thing. When I get home, I blow my clothes straight off me. They just explode off me.

So I do wander around the house for a period there, 97% naked, all of this big white squidgy tank. I don't quite understand. What do you do? I'm in my boxer shorts. Oh, so you just go home and take off all your clothes? Yeah. Is that what you do?

Yeah. Okay. And then put them in there, keep them clean. Oh, right. Yeah. I don't want to contaminate the household. Right. But where this came unstuck was the other day, Poppy, my daughter, she takes some online classes.

And I was like, oh, well, I'll watch you do it. Just keep me off camera. You know, there's a dozen seven-year-old girls don't need to see this. I'll just lie on the couch. But then the problem is, I'll just lie on the couch. But then the problem is, I'm sure you experience the same thing. I sort of just feel,

I'm wandering around like a shell of a human being, so tired, you know. As soon as you sit down, do you find this, you just fall asleep? Oh, once you stop, you do, you still, you get a bit like, oh, here we go. So the class started, and I was doing their thing,

and I was on the couch, and boom, narcolepsy hit, I'm out, like an absolute light. And when this tank stops, it shuts down. So I'm passed out. And then all of a sudden I wake up to the soundtrack of, you know, a group of seven-year-old girls laughing. Oh, God. And what had happened is during her class, I started snoring.

And obviously the teacher was like, well, what's that noise? And then so Poppy, she's like, oh, that's just my dad. You know, just knowing that maybe they just couldn't take her word for it. She then brings the computer camera over. Oh, just so everyone could see you. She's like holding the camera up in my face, asleep.

And then they're all going, ah! I'm getting mocked by 12 seven-year-old girls for sleeping a horrible, rude awakening. I can imagine. Yeah. So just be careful to the bad parents out there who fall asleep while parenting. Maybe put some clothes on.

Yeah. There is an option if you want. You don't have to want to wear any boxes. That would have been far less embarrassing if I was clothed. You're right. You're right. This's just a guy sleeping. But I can see this is a bad look. Naked guy on the couch sleeping.

And I'm not a good looking sleeper as well. You've seen me sleep. I look dead. You know, like pasting one, I do the mouth open thing. Do you drool? I picture you as a drooler. I'm a drooler. Yeah, I'm a horrible sleeper.

Some people I imagine would look cute sleeping bed. I reckon you look like a cute little button when you sleep. Not me. We flew once overseas and Jono slept. And yeah, your mouth opened. Remember, we balanced all three of the plastic cutlery in your mouth. He put the cutlery in my mouth. Really?

I didn't even notice. You sleep bad. My mouth's fair game. Chuck anything in there. It's open. Open door policy, my mouth. It'll take anything. Remember to double pump the Virgals.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Recently, there's been a lot of news jargon thrown around on the news. Words like cluster, level one, quarantine, lockdown, and many more. So we decided we wanted to see how much of that news jargon we can insert into a phone call booking. You've got sheets of paper in front of you. Yeah, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to call somewhere

and I need you to insert these words when I hold them up to you into the conversation. Oh, like a natural conversation using these words? Yeah. I just said that. Okay. I'll just get my head around how it works. Oh, no, no, no.

Do I explain it all right? Yeah. So every time I say one in the conversation, we'll get a little ding. Yeah, you get a point. Okay. This is a cafe. Oh, cafe.

Good morning. Oh, hi there. I was just wondering if I could book a table at some stage. Yeah, for when? I don't know. I was thinking maybe tomorrow. There's just a small cluster of us that want to come down and have a meal.

Tomorrow? Yeah, maybe tomorrow. Can we lock down a time around about 11 o'clock in the morning? Yeah, 11 for lunch. Yeah, do you have like, seating arrangement-wise, do you have like a couple of levels? Do you have like a first level and level one, level two? Or is it just all on the same floor?

No, it's just on, we don't, yep, just on the same floor. I don't have like a mezzanine or anything. Oh, okay, I'll just have, I'll just go on level one then, if that's fine. I was thinking about going to another restaurant, but then I pivoted. I thought I'd come to yours. It's a bit of a special occasion. Do you have like fancy drinks?

Do you have like a bottle of bubble? Yep, we do bubbles, we have cocktails. Oh, jeez. I can hardly contain my excitement for coming along. How many people do you... Oh, there's a few of us. I mean, you know, we're just, you know, working hard, so it's nice to get on a break, out on a break, outbreak.

Yeah. You know, it's, you know, you know what it's like. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Well, we'd be, like, kind of left alone, you know, in the restaurant. You know, like, I like to be sort of by myself. You know, sort of managed isolation, I guess. Okay.

We can put you next door. It depends how many people there is. Okay. Well, there is the, we have a table in the bar and it seats six people. It's like a little cosy kind of thing for the fire. It's not in the main restaurant or in our function room. It's like in the bar where it'll just be me

and the other manager. Can you put under my name Dr. Ashley Bloomfield? Dr. Ashley... Bloomfield. That's definitely... Well, that's the name I like to book things under.

Yeah. And cocktails-wise, I mean, what, you got your standard cocktails, you've got Long Island iced tea, the Quarantine Martine. That's one of my favourites, the Quarantine Martine. Yeah, we've got quite a few. We've got about six or seven.

We can also do ones that aren't on the cocktail menu. Just tell us and we'll make them. Well, look, I'm going to end my transmission of this call. Could I grab your phone number, please? It's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits Radio station. Oh! Oh my God, I want to hear

radio on that one! Jono's making me try and insert as many bits of jargon from the news over the last few weeks into a phone call. Oh, I don't watch this! Yeah, you can kind of tell. Oh, my God. What the hell?

You're such a good sport, though. I just have a sore. Hold the line. We'll send you out something for being such a good sport. Okay, thank you so much. Thanks, buddy. See you. Serving bowls of lolls for breakfast.

Actual lolls may not be served. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. I want to know your side hustle. Maybe you're running one, maybe you're not. Do you know something? Have you got something going on? Have you? Hey.

This is just a labor employee to find out what you're doing on the side. Oh, you know everything's fine. I'm not doing anything else on the side. This is not necessarily something you're not meant

to be doing. This is just some people like work. They're nine to five. They do something and then something else on the side. Oh, yeah, well,

just to earn a bit of extra income. Ben Boyce, I know you double as a model for TNT children's wear. Don't you, for those catalogues for the little boy in those little

Thomas the Tank Engine track pants and t-shirt. Side hustle, you're right. That brings in a bit of good income for you, doesn't it? And you're the face

of a retirement home on the magazines. Ryman, Ryman Healthcare, they get me on there. The before and the hair loss commercials. There's the before

we've all got side hustles yeah but there was a guy in all seriousness who used to work here I think and he was bloody peddling off

bouncy castles rent out his bouncy castles that's a great business yeah great business my friend does it too imported a whole bunch of bouncy castles

although now his days are just filled up with dropping bouncy castles off and picking them up. Oh yeah, because we all weekend work too. Oh yeah, the business is booming. If you want to get some money, get into the bouncy castle game. Well, that's my suggestion. That's my advice for the day.

I like to always just drop a little bit of nugget of advice. Get into the bouncy castle game. That's what they tell me. But yeah, what is your side hustle? 0800 the hits 4487. Let's go to Wellington, Georgia. Welcome to New Zealand's breakfast. What are you doing on the side, mate? Well, I did a flower tutorial on YouTube,

which got a lot of reviews. And so now in the weekends, I go to the community gardens, get some flowers, and then on Sunday, I sell them at the market. Oh, so you're stealing flowers. Oh, yay! Stealing, market. Oh, so you're stealing flowers. Oh, yeah.

Stealing, borrowing. Stealing. Definitely stealing. I remember I got in trouble for it. So I was walking to primary school once, and I was like, oh, you know what? My teacher will love some flowers, so I picked some flowers out of the garden. You greaser.

What a greaser, eh? And I was like, here's some flowers, Mrs. Yolland. I gave them to her, and she was very appreciative. And then I got dragged out of class because I was like, here's some flowers, Mrs. Yolen. I gave them to her and she was very appreciative and then I got dragged out of class because I was seen stealing flowers. Got a right roasting. A right roasting. That taught me that harsh lesson.

Not to be such a greaser. It's a big lesson. Hey, Georgie, you go and have a wonderful week. Thanks for your call. No problem. You and your illegal floral arrangement that you're running there, whatever that is. Emma, welcome to the show. Good to have you on. What and your illegal floral arrangement that you're running there, whatever that is. Emma, welcome to the show.

Good to have you on. What's your side hustle? Hi, so I do, I sell kids' clothes on Instagram, pre-loved kids' clothes on Instagram. Do you steal them from the kids? No, no, no, no. I either look online and find, like, really cool vintage stuff or I just go around the op shops with my daughter.

That's a good idea. That's a smart idea. How's business going? All right? It's pretty good. I started it while I was on maternity leave with my daughter, and it's pretty... The work, it seems like a bit of a full-time job, but it's around about a part-time pay, so it's pretty good.

Oh, no. Good side hustle. Selling kids' clothing. Bears is with us on 0800 The Hits. What's your side hustle, Bears? G'day, boys. It's selling band t-shirts online. The world doesn't have enough of those. That's what the world needs, more

band t-shirts. I was actually reading before there where someone's making band t-shirts into masks. A company using their band merch into making face masks. Now, you and your band t-shirts, how does this work? Can I just get any band on a T-shirt? No, no, no, no, no. We do the designs from some famous photos and make them look a bit cooler

and then whack them on a T-shirt and sell them online. Now, do the bands know about this? That's my question. Well, it's a grey area. So does Mick Jagger, for example, know you're plastering his face on a t-shirt? Well, I shot him an email and I said if you don't reply... I'll take that back.

Mick at gmail.32 Thank you, bands. Have a great day, mate. Appreciate it. Eggs for breakfast? It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, obviously, we can't Have a great day, mate. Appreciate it. Eggs for breakfast. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, obviously, we can't travel overseas in the mo, and it's the same all over the world. So in Japan, they're offering virtual holiday packages right now.

Jeez, those Japanese. They're bloody. They're remarkable, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. Industry leaders over there in Japan. So I thought this was really interesting. I was reading about this over the weekend. In Tokyo, they've got this place that's got a whole lot of airline seats. They're set up like a plane.

You go on with your boarding pass. You sit down, and it feels like you're on board a plane. It's like a flight simulator, and you get presented a meal from stewards and stuff. It's a shorter flight, obviously, because you're not going anywhere. They sit a crying baby next to you.

Yeah. A smelly guy. A talky guy like me. When you land at your destination, land, inverted commas, they give you like a VR headset of the place that you've landed in and then it feels like you're in Hawaii or Rome

when you get to experience all those things without actually being able to go overseas. But then you're not. No, but it's the closest thing to be able to do. Seems like I can't figure out if it's a giant waste of money or time. Maybe it's a combo of both. A guy I used to write with, a friend of mine,

he used to play a flight simulator game and he used to play it in real time. So he would fly from, say, LA to New Zealand and it'd take him 12 hours. And so he'd be at work sometimes going, we're like, oh, I've got to stick around later. He goes, oh, I can't, I've got to land a plane. At LAX.

That's right. It'd be circling around, I'd better get home. You know, he seemed to get quite stressed that he needed to get home to land the plane. It seems like some unnecessary pressure you're putting on your daily routine. He's like, uh-oh, I've got time on this three-day flight over the weekend.

So does he just leave it on autopilot while he's working? Yeah, so he liked the take-off and landing parts of it, but he'd still play the whole game in real time. So the guy was never doing anything over a 12-hour day at work. And the biggest excuse ever, sorry guys, I'm going to have to call it a day. I'm going to go and land a plane in Tokyo. I remember though, we went to that flight simulator place in Auckland.

It was really fun. I'm shocked. I was so bad at it. I'd be a shocking pilot. Distracted easily, shaky, nervy, not the great traits of a pilot. But then Jono became the spokesperson. You remember that?

He became the spokesperson. I became the picture on the campaign in their print ads. That's right. Just one day, you were looking through the paper. You're like, oh, look at this. There's a picture of me

with my thumbs up going. It was really good. That's why he said, it was really good. Jono Pryor says, it was really good. That's what he said. It was really good. That's why he said it was really good. John O'Brien says, it was really good. That's what he said. It was really good.

I was like, why did you end up doing this? I don't even think I said it was really good. Apparently the guy at the end of it was like, well, what did you think? You're like, it was really good. He was like, can I put that in our marketing? You're like, oh yeah. And so it was like the flight simulator endorsed by John O'Brien.

I think my actual words were, I better go. I think my parking's run out. But you can't put that on a poster. It was really good. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now I know why the six o'clock club got up this morning early.

You wanted to hear my weekly supermarket update every Monday. It's the only time you go out. That's lockdown or no lockdown. Yeah, it's just my little social getting out there and shopping. That's all I like to do. Last week, the update was I tried to give food to who I thought was a homeless person. Turns out they were just having a sleep on their lunch break. But no, this time I went to the counter and I had cash.

I was like, here, I'll pay with this. But I was 33 cents short. And then they made me do the 33 cent transaction on an EFTPOS card. Now, from a business point of view, I understand they need to balance the box. But 33 cents, seems like the technology used and the electricity used and the energy put into this transaction

probably exceeds the $0.33. Yeah, but the person behind the till, they're not the owner of the company. I can't waif this and go, you go, Mr. Pryor, it's all good there. They'll probably lose their job. I get that. Over $0.33?

Well, you know, like if they're like, hey, away you go, you go, you know, that sort of thing. It felt redundant. It felt pointless. It felt like me having a stringent shampooing and conditioning regime. Yeah. Last time I went and purchased a whole lot of beers and I was in a mask

at the counter and Fipsy, who we used to work with, he then texts me afterwards. He's like, I thought I saw you, but I couldn't fully figure out if it was you. You had a mask and whatever on. He's like,

but then I looked in the trolley and it was just full of Heineken's. It's the giveaway, right? He doesn't have a bleak reflection where someone doesn't even know if it's you but then they look in your trolley.

I want to buy a guy that's definitely John. So 35 cents, eh? Yeah. I'm surprised you could use cash in this environment. Oh yeah, sometimes you're not allowed to hand over cash at the moment. No, I know. I'm surprised you could use cash in this environment. Oh, yeah. Sometimes you're not allowed to hand over cash at the moment.

No, I know. I thought it was a risk too. A couple of shops I handed cash over. I'm like, how's this going to go? So I want to do a text poll. Text poll, text poll. You're my text poll. Cheapest transactions on your FPOS or credit cards.

Can you beat 33 cents? Morena, Suzanne, welcome to Dust 6 O'Clock Club. Good morning, how are you? You're good. You sound 75% awake. That's good enough for us, Suzanne. That's good. Cheapest transaction, what was it, mate?

One cent. Oh, there we go. You're never going to beat that, are you? Not by me. It was IRD going into my bank account. Well, they gave you a refund of one cent. Yep.

Well, don't say they never give you anything back. They're not just take, take,

take. Yeah, I was pretty disappointed, but then when I saw it, at least it wasn't,

I had to pay it. That's right, I mean, better than you having to pay one cent. Difficult to pay

too at the same time. Is this the same Suzanne, sounds very familiar, who had a python fall on top of her? Very good.

It was. Oh, was he in Darwin? Sorry? Was that in Darwin or something? Was that right? Yeah, Darwin. Yeah, you were asleep. Will you tell the story? We won't tell your story. What happened? Well, I was asleep and I got woken up by a thud and when I went and turned on the light

found out it was a three metre python on my bed that had fallen from the rafters. Now I'm no expert but that's not ideal sleeping conditions giant python landing on you. Well it's not that's not a giant one. What three metres? What do you deem giant? Well, giant pythons, the ones like olive pythons in the Northern Territory, they grow up to about probably five metres. Oh, three metres? How dare I? That wasn't even worth turning the light on for. Just go back to sleep.

Just put it this way, they actually reach across a two-lane highway. Wow. Well, listen, I'm sorry. When you run over them, you actually feel that you've gone over a speed bump. Like judder bars, speed bumps. Well, you seem pretty relaxed about the whole thing,

so I'm not going to try and wind it up for dramatic radio purposes. You have a great Monday, Suzanne. Look after yourself. Same with you. Just like a chocolate milkshake, only white and disappointing. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Jono, brought to you by Skinny. It's partners Skinny. Thank you so much for

coming on board. At this stage, just sponsoring me and Ben Bush, you're trying to jump aboard the Skinny train, trying to straddle this corporate beast, aren't you? Oh, well, yeah, I'd like to be part of it, but at the moment it's just you. Sponsored by Skinny, and if you're wondering how that got to happen, how Jono's just sponsored by Skinny

and not me, well, here you go. Originally, you were like, what would you do if I won Lotto? And I said, well, I would sponsor the show. Jono and Ben bought 2xB, and he's the coolest. Let's get a sponsor before Ben Boyce with Lotto. Unorthodox approach. Phoning an opposition radio station. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Brought to you by More FM. That would be brilliant. The suits upstairs weren't entirely on board with that little partnership. But Ben Boyce. You've got a sponsor for the show. May have the show sponsored. No. The problem being is you're going to need to leave the room now.

They only want to sponsor me. Really? And they don't want to sponsor Ben. If anyone's got any ideas on how we break this news... Put it in a classified newspaper. What is this? Jono is sponsored by Skinny. I have been crossed out.

They're all about keeping prices low. My partner's Skinny. I would love to do some giveaways. Something that I'm not allowed to take part in. You can go mmm, but mmm. You can agree with me. That was yesterday on the show. Well, I've had some feedback from the client.

Too much, mm. What? Can I give Skinny a call? I want to see if I can get involved and be part of this. Ellie, the big boss is Skinny. Hello? I want to get involved. We're just going to sponsor Jono, sorry.

I'll think of some stuff. You can't just go, I'll just do some stuff. So I feel like, oh, jeez. We're a team. I should try and get you sponsored somehow. The skinniest colour is orange. I have here the Finding Nemo costume. The orange clownfish.

This, for you, is going to be your outfit for the next week. Not for a week. Until next Friday. Not for a week. Next Friday. Do you want to be sponsored? So that's where we're at. Ben Boyce currently wearing his orange Finding

Nemo costume. And if you found Benno, Finding Benno over the weekend in his costume or not in his costume, you were meant to reach out and get in touch. And no one has been at this stage. That's good. I've been keeping it up. That's right. So we'll find out. There's no reason not to get in touch.

If your commitment will pay off on Friday though things took a whole new level when I revealed to get in touch. If your commitment will pay off. On Friday, though, things took a whole new level when I revealed to you a campaign. I've just brought you out to the back of the building, Ben. Not usually what we come out here for. Yeah, what's going on? Smoking cigarettes and things that we usually do. We don't.

Smoking your jazz cigarettes, whatever you're up to. Anyway, why are we out here? It's cold. Because we're looking up right now a giant billboard 29 metres by 29 metres this billboard it's not 29 by 29 but it's a big billboard

yes why am I looking up here it's a revolving digital billboard and if you look at hopefully the next a Mike Hosky breakfast not the Mike Hosky breakfast

the next billboard that is about to come up yeah I think you'll be very happy with ZM's fact of the day not ZM's fact of the day the next billboard that is about to come up, I think you'll be very happy with. ZM's fact of the day. No, ZM's fact of the day.

The next billboard that comes up, you'll be very, very happy. No, not the Herald. I know what it's going to be. It's going to be a skinny, a skinny, John O'Bourne brought you by skinny. Not the New Zealand Herald premium,

not the, no, it's another Herald one. John O'Bourne brought you by skinny and me crossed out. I know what this is. I'm not stupid. There it is. Jono is not banned. Sponsored by skinny. On the hits.

There we go. I'm taking out a billboard campaign. I'm going inside. I'm going inside now. I'm going inside. Put up on a billboard as well. Billboard campaign. We need to get the word out there, don't we?

And, you know, orange. It's quite the colour, isn't it? I mean, I won't lie, it would have been nice if Skinny had a more subtle colour palette. But this is what they rolled with, and now I bleed orange. I'm bleeding. It's shocking. I'm getting my blood test back. I think they're quite worried.

Hey, you've got toothpaste on the side of your mouth. It's Jono and Ben on my heads. The A to Z of New Zealand. Phoning every town and city in Aotearoa, doing one a day. And Friday we spoke to Eltham in Taranaki. What can you tell us about the place?

Oh, well, you know, we're a big industry place. We make all the cheese for all the burgers and everybody that's, you know, out there wanting their McDonald's and their KFC burgers.

Oh, cheese. Oh, George, does all the takeaway cheese for the cheeseburgers come from your place? Well, they come from the Fonterra brands in our town, yes. I thought they

made them in a laboratory. Oh, no, no, it's all handmade. It's actual cheese. Cheese, wow. That's Eltham. Love it, now we're learning a little bit about each town. I think it's very cool, this segment. We do it every day. We call a different town or place. We're working our way alphabetically through New Zealand today.

Ettrick. Never heard of Ettrick. I know, I thought you made it up. Today Zealand today. Ettrick. Ettrick. Never heard of Ettrick. I know. I thought you made it up. We're more like, today we're calling Ettrick. E-T-T-R-I-C-K. It's a small town in inland Otago. It's located on the Clutha River, and it looks like a postcard,

this unaffected slice of paradise not touched by the mod cons of today's society, where you purchase some land by punching a man in the face. You seal a business deal by punching a man in the face. And you tell your dad you love him by hugging him. Did you know it was once used as a Toyota commercial? The setting for a Toyota commercial, Ettrick. I didn't even know it existed, so no. And did you know?

You probably didn't know this either. Given you didn't know it existed. Home to New Zealand and Australasia's only McDonald's themed museum, including McDonald's toys, McDonald's uniforms, and McDonald's urine-laden balls from the ball pit in the playground. This guy has just got a whole bunch of McDonald's memorabilia. But we're not going to call him today. Okay.

We're going to go through to the cafe in Ettrick. Hello, Bjagarden Cafe. Amy speaking. G'day, Amy. How's it going? How's my mate, Amo? Pretty good. Yep.

Yep. How are the kids? I ain't got no kids, but yep, nah, they're good. Who am I talking to? You're talking to Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. All right. I'll put you on Shirley. Okay. Oh, that was a hell of a palm off.

That was. Hello. Shirley, Amy is throwing you under the bus here. She always does that to me. Why does she do that? We just said it was Jono and Ben from the Hits radio station. She's like, I'll put you on for Shirley. Oh.

Chuck us back to Amy. Yeah. Here, I'll put her back on. She's run away and hid in the kitchen now. Come on, Amy. You've got to come back. Why? Why? Hello?

Amy, pass this back to Shirley. Yeah, righto. Hello? Shirley, pass this back to Amy. I did pass you back to Amy. Pass this back again. I'm sure you've got important things to do with your day. Oh, hell yeah, we've got real important things to do with your day. Oh, hell yeah.

We've got real important things to do. Now I'm confused. Are we talking to Shirley or Amy? Who's this? This is Shirley. Oh, Shirley. We'll be on to Amy, okay? Thank you.

Put us back. Hello. Hi, Amy. How's it going? Good. Hey, we're just calling every town and place in New Zealand. One a day. Yep.

And today it's your town's turn. Etrick. Oh, cool. Etrick. It's a town. Yeah, no, cool town. Now, the things I know about Etrick, do you want me to spout them off to you? Sure, why not?

In 2011, it was used as the backdrop for a Toyota commercial. Yep. It's got New Zealand's only McDonald's museum. Yep. And what else can you do there? What do you do, Shirley? Put us back under Shirley. Come to the Bender Garden Cafe and drink the best coffee in town.

Best coffee in town. I'm sorry to ask this, but how many other coffees in town? Well, ones that sell them, none. None. Okay, right. So by default, best coffee in town? Yep. No, it's the best coffee in Central.

Oh, now you've spread out the catchment. No, I'm sure it is. I'm sure you make a wonderful coffee. Yep, no, we do. And how long have you lived in Ettrick for, Shirley? I'm Amy, but this is Shirley. Oh, now you're back. She's all so confused.

We've made this confusing. Amy, Shirley. If we come to Ettrick, Amy Shirley, what should we do? If you come to Ettrick, well, you stop at the Benja Garden Cafe and have a lovely meal and the best coffee. How many people live there? In Ettrick? How many people live in Ettrick?

The 100 locals? Yeah, 100 locals. Stunning part of the country around there, there 100 locals? Yeah, 100 locals. Yeah. Stunning part of the country around there, isn't it? It's really good. It really is lovely. What are you looking at right now? Describe it to me, Shirley.

Right, I am looking out the window at the hills. Nice. Keep talking, Shirley. Keep talking. What are those hills? It's our beautiful garden. Oh, beautiful garden. Outside area where you can sit day.

What's Amy looking at? No, she's looking at a customer. Oh, okay. What do they look like? Okay, this is weird. I'm stunning. Everyone's stunning down there. What are they wearing?

Too right. Well, lovely to talk to you. And if we're ever in town, we'll pop in for the best coffees in the neighbourhood. Too right. Well, remember to ask for Shirley or Amy, won't you? We will. We will. we will,

because I don't know which one we're talking to now. You love your work. Yep, it's the best place to work. You have a great day. Cool, thank you. The A to the Z of New Zealand continues tomorrow with another Town in the E's. New Zealand's breakfast.

Just don't eat them, they're chewy. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Well, speaking of the weekend, Ben Boyce, some interesting information has emerged about your antics over the weekend. Thank you for joining us, New Zealand. This is New Zealand's Breakfast, and just to bring you up to speed, the show has been sponsored.

Well, one half of the show. Skinny, my partner's bringing Jono from Jono and Ben. Ben, currently not sponsored. Not sponsored. Unsponsored. It gives off an unsponsored vibe, doesn't it, Juliet? Yeah, a little bit. Do it? Yeah. Oh gives off an unsponsored vibe, doesn't he, Juliet? Yeah, a little bit. Do I? Yeah.

Okay. Be like those orphans, you know, in the third world countries where they're wandering like, oh, you're not sponsored, mate, but I'm sponsored. You're sponsored. Yeah. Now, Ben Boyce, there was a challenge issued to you on Friday, wasn't there? Yeah. You can bring the people up to speed on this.

Oh, well, you came to work wearing a whole lot of orange clothing because orange is Skinny's colour. Corporate colours. Yeah, well, I rubbed it in my face with your orange clothing. For once, you weren't wearing black. It was only due to sponsorship reasons. But at one time, I see you wear coloured clothing. And you were like, yes, you'd be a challenge. They had to wear an orange clownfish costume,

like similar to Finding Nemo, for a week to prove myself to Skinny. Yeah. Now, I have shown a level of commitment to this sponsorship. I've deleted half of my family from my life just because they're not on Skinny. Right. I will never speak to them again.

But that's how committed I am to this telco. Okay, gotcha. So before seven o'clock, we had a text. And while you were out doing your ablutions, we phoned this person back. And here is the intel that we have, because the issue was you need to wear this tool this Friday, that costume. The whole week, yeah.

So you say you saw Ben over the weekend? What happened? Yes, yes, I saw Ben Boyce on the weekend. It was Saturday or Sunday, if I remember correctly. And whereabouts was he walking the dog? Walking his big, white, fluffy dog in a park or on a road or on the beach. And he was not wearing the outfit. Now, did you or did you not walk your dog

On a park, road and or beach Not all of those, no But one of them On Saturday or Sunday Over the weekend Were you wearing this costume Now this is the question I need to ask you Were you wearing the clownfish costume

No He wasn't Only while I went out You were meant to wear it you wearing the clownfish costume? No. He wasn't! I knew it! Only while I went out and walked myself. He wasn't. None of this, only while I went out,

you were meant to wear it for seven days. I didn't, no, I walked with the dog around the park. What sort of backyard game do you think this is, mate? This is the big time.

This is Wolf of Wall Street stuff. Okay. I knew it. I knew it. And you know why I knew it? Because I just entrapped you. Do you want to be honest? Do you know what I took? As soon as I left here on Friday, I put in my car. And you know why I knew it? Because I just entrapped you. Do you want to be honest? Do you know what I took?

As soon as I left here on Friday, I put in my car. And you never wore it again. And I put it back on before I walked back into work this morning. That's the honest truth. And I knew it. You know how I knew it? Because that was me interviewing myself. What?

So you say you saw Ben over the weekend? What happened? Yes, yes, I saw Ben Boyce on the weekend? What happened? Yes, yes, I saw Ben Boyce on the weekend. It was Saturday or Sunday, if I remember correctly. It was me! I was hung with that vague information.

What, you recorded yourself on the phone? Interviewing myself. And then changed your voice? Entrapment. I knew it. New Zealand, what are we dealing with here? What consequences? What is the consequences? I'm calling for a public shaming. Maybe they can announce that at the press conferences after the public shaming.

Let's get the pitchforks out, old Tad. So where does this leave us? I don't know. I don't know either. Where does this leave us? I can take off this costume. You can take off the costume? But you've had it off the whole weekend anyway.

Yeah, true. We'll bring it for the last hour in a bit. Morning. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Hey, great to have you with us, New Zealand. Love you joining us

around the breakfast table. Except for my family. Because I'm, you know, family on lockdown at the moment. And I said to my daughter last night, are you going to listen in the morning? She goes, no, you'll listen to the podcast.

Oh, not even in real time. I expect your family to get up at 6am and facetiously. I was all on the podcast. Not even in real time. I expect your family to get up at 6am and facetiously. I was on the podcast, but yeah, I know it's on the podcast, but it still plays out. Catch up on the podcast. What a slap in the face. When you wake up in the morning at 4 o'clock, you wake

them up as well. Guys, guys, two hours till showtime. I want you guys warming up. Sit around and listen to the radio. Anyway, it's time to do some big news. Small town. Today we're heading to Napier, Hawke's Bay. Lovely part of the country where there is a man who's having some trouble with a pothole by the airport.

Keeps damaging his mags. He ran over the pothole. $4,000 worth of damage to his mags. Have you seen the picture of these mags? Yeah, they're a big flash. I'm no expert. You're going to need a professional rim job to fix those rims.

They are not doing well. And it looks really bad, this situation. Yeah, should have stuck with the first one. That was good. We're going to go through right now to Jason, who I understand is on the phone right now. Jason, how are you this morning, Jason Tobeck? Not too bad, mate. I don't know why

I am talking like this. I apologise for my tone of talking as well. Yeah, Jono's talking weird. I'm stuck in this performance, and I don't know what it is. No, Jason, your car, mate, getting ruined by the bloody Hawke's Bay roads. Yeah, yeah, no, it's shocking up here, mate, or down here,

wherever you're talking about. Or to the side. Or if you're in the place where you're, anyway. It all depends where you're at. So how, is it one particular pothole or is it just a whole series of potholes? There was actually two just pretty close to each other, you know. Looking at your wheels, looking at your mag wheels, they look pretty beaten up from this pothole. Is this something you've driven over multiple times or just the once?

No, that was just the once. That's dangerous, Jason. Yeah, no, there was a few people I heard that night that had the same bloody problems, eh? Council better be fronting up. Oh, no, they put me on to NZTA, then NZTA put me on to the contractors, and yeah. Oh, everyone does a great job

of putting you on to someone else, don't they? That's what I feel. That's what I feel. I'll hold the line and we're just going to put you on to our producer. No, no, it's good. It must be frustrating, though, for you, though, driving along,

they're having this damage caused, and then you're going to have to foot the bill by the sounds of it. Yeah, no, definitely. The assurance has come to the party, but you've still got to pay the excess. What do you want to say to the people, mate? Say something to the people, Jason. Say it in an, no, definitely. The assurance has come to the party, but you've still got to pay the excess. What do you want to say to the people, mate? Say something to the people, Jason. Say it in an angry voice too.

It's quite good for a little news grab. Fix the bloody roads properly. Nice mags. What are they? 19s? 20 inches? What are you running there? Yeah, 20s. 20s. They're not cheap, the old 20 inches. No, they're not. No. If it had been a tyre,

I would have just, you know, not worried about it, but yeah. Are you going to take it to a mag repair shop or just completely get a whole new set? I have to get a new set because, yeah, they can't be repaired and I can't get that size anymore or something. They're a beauty,

the old low-profile 20 inches. Can't go wrong with those, Jason. No, fair enough. Now, and I mean, it could actually cause some serious damage too. You know, someone could swerve off the road or who knows, someone could lose an eye. Well, that's right. I think that hot pot hole's been patched about 10 times, you know. I love the Hawke's Bay.

Wonderful part of the country, Jason. Yeah, it's beautiful, yeah. Yeah, no, lovely. How long have you lived there for? Probably 30 years. What do you do, mate? Down the port. Yeah, no, lovely. How long have you lived there for? Probably 30 years. What do you do, mate? Down the port. Oh, you work at the ports?

Yeah. The Hawke's Bay ports, yeah. Do you enjoy a cheeky cabernet sauvignon? Lovely vineyards in Hawke's Bay. I can imagine at the port, you're sitting around enjoying a cab sav at the end of the day. Yeah, all the boys and the hypers having a cheeky savvy. A little bit of a cheese board. No, you're a good man, Jason.

Hey, thank you so much for your time. Love your work, mate. You look after yourself in the Hawke's Bay and thanks for being part of the big news. No, thank you guys. Thanks for coming to this middle of the road radio station. With no potholes, though.

Yeah, with no potholes. That's good. But a load of pink songs. Good on you, Jason. Thanks, guys no potholes. That's good. But a load of pink songs. Yeah. Good on you, Jason. See you, guys. That is the big news for small town. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime.

Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Spy. The WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Straight out of the sloppy celebrity gossip washing machine comes this dripping wet episode of Spy. It hasn't gone through the spin cycle just yet. But let's hang it out to dry, Juju. Wonderful, I love it.

Alright, so Rebecca Black, who you may remember from probably about 10 years ago. This song went viral. I like that song. She was like basically explaining the basic structure of a week, wasn't she? Yesterday was Thursday. Tomorrow's Saturday.

Although Black Eyed Peas did that. Now the song. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. We do it every day. We say what day it is every day. Yeah, true. I felt really sorry for Rebecca Black because she really got bullied. Really bad.

Cyber bullied. Really bad. Oh my gosh. It was so bad. I remember when it broke when I was probably 12 or 13. I think she's the same age as me. But she has resurfaced on the TikTok, as Jono would say. Hey, you're just talking about this poor girl being bullied.

Now I'm getting bullied as a 38-year-old man. A 13-year-old girl inside of me is crying right now. She posted an acoustic performance of the song Friday because she was doing TikTok, but she didn't address anything to do with Friday on her TikTok, but all of her followers were like, can you do a performance of Friday? And she finally did one.

She's a good singer. A wonderful voice. Did you know the skyline, so the city behind her in the video of Friday is Auckland? I wondered that. Yeah, apparently. It's Auckland City. I love Auckland. Really? I'm going to shout out.

Yeah, so she is back on TikTok and you can probably follow her if you wanted to. I did, because is the Sky Tower in the background? I don't know if it's in the background, but I think the city's got it. I remember that rumour going around when I was a kid as well. She was really devastated by the bullying, had to pull out of school,

had to be homeschooled. So sad. Oh, listen, sometimes the internet comments section, they're just full of some of the world's most well-rounded, levelled individuals. Yeah. Aren't they? Yeah.

They really are. Well, I'm glad things are going well for her now. Are they? I don't know. They are. They're going well. Yeah, they are. And also, former Full House star Laurie Loughlin,

she has officially been sentenced to two months in jail for the college admissions scandal. And when she was sentenced, she broke down. And the judge, I was reading what the judge said to her. I was like, oh, burn. He said... I was like, oh, burn. Hashtag burn.

He said, here you are, an admired, successful professional actor with a long-lasting marriage, two apparently healthy, resilient children, more money than you could possibly need, a beautiful home in California, a fairytale life, yet you stand before me a convicted felon. And for what? For the inexplicable desire to grab even more. What did she do? I thought it seems like quite a harsh punishment for a mum just trying to get her kids a good education. It is. It's a bribe to the school, right?

Yeah, basically. Sort of send them to the bloody Institute of Technology, mate. They would have done just as well. Become an engineer. Exactly. So she is going to two months to prison And her husband's going for like five months Five months, yeah

And then they both have to see He's William H. Macy Isn't that her husband? No, you've got confused I'm confused So I do get confused at my old age It's alright though It's alright though

It's another There's another bribery thing Yeah But not her Sometimes what I like to do Is just blend news stories Uncle Jesse, Uncle Joe Not really related to her either And the Olsen twins there They were just blend news stories. Uncle Jesse, Uncle Joe, not really related to her either.

And the Olsen twins there? They were just actors on a show. Okay. Two twins played one character. Very confusing. I'll explain to you later. Right. Okay.

Did they all live together? Well, outside of the show, no. But in the show, yes. Okay. I'm glad. You can explain more during the ad. She's living together with a lot of people now for two months. She's gone from the full house to the big house.

Oh, is that a headline? It should be. Oh, wonderful. Put that on CNN. Wonderful prior for more spy. You can get to the stock on NZ. More painful than your alarm clock. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

She specialises in infectious diseases. You would have seen her on the TV with her pink hair, helping pass on valuable information and advice about COVID-19 to New Zealand, helping us get through this time. She's got a documentary out called Susie and the Virus, and it follows Susie in the days before lockdown in New Zealand. You can get it now at Loading Docs. How are you, Dr Susie Wiles?

I'm okay, a bit tired. You must be exhausted. You're on the TV, it feels like 24 hours a day. Every person's talking. I even saw you in Home and Away. Do you get sick of being interviewed? Look, it's more important that good information gets out there. So if that's what's needed, then that's what I'll do.

But I certainly can't keep this up for weeks and weeks at a time. Yeah, that's such a polite way of going. I'm sick of being asked questions. And now welcome to our interview. Ben Boyce, over to you. It's great to have you here. Do we now just have to learn to live with

COVID-19? Is it just going to be part of life like the common flu or cold? So we are here in New Zealand learning to live with it, which involves keeping it out and stamping it out when it comes here. And I think in the short term, short to medium term, our kind of elimination strategy is absolutely the right one. And I think in the short term, short to medium term, our kind of elimination strategy

is absolutely the right one. Do you think a vaccine is possible in the next couple of years or it's really hard to say? Oh, I mean, there are something like 150 odd vaccine candidates, you know, in development at the moment. I think there's about seven

that are actually quite far through human trials. Yeah, I think something will be developed. The question will be how safe and effective it is and how quickly it can be rolled out around the world. That's going to be the big challenge. Now, Susie, I've got to ask you about the hair,

your distinctive pink hair. You've had the hair like that since you were a teenager. Is that right? Yeah, so as a teenager, I kind of went through various different colours, sort of starting with the purples and things. And then when I was in my very early 20s, I got to this colour and then I stuck with it.

So it's been like this for over 20 years now. Does it run on pillowcases, towels, that sort of thing? Oh, the Manchester and linen. Must be a nightmare, Susie. You know, if you put me in the rain. Now, excuse my ignorance, Susie, but your name when I see it come up on the graphics on the TV is S-I-O-U-X-S-I-E.

It's pronounced Susie. Yes, it comes from a punk band or a singer in a punk band called Susie Sue and her band was Susie and the Banshees and so they were a British band from the late 70s, early 80s. Yeah, that's interesting. Albeit a very complicated way of spelling it, but also very interesting.

Many New Zealanders would have gone Swixie. Swixie, yeah. Yeah, Swixie. Swixie. You don't have it all. We've got Dr Susie Wiles with us. Microbiologist, you also specialize in infectious diseases. Does that mean that you're a bit of a germaphobe?

Oh, you see, I'm not a germaphobe at all. I think the thing about knowing about infectious diseases is I understand the risks. And so there have definitely been instances where, you know, the five-second rule is like, is it the five-second rule? Is it the ten-second rule? So it's fine. I've picked stuff up from the floor second rule, it's like, is it the five second rule or the ten second rule? I've picked stuff up from the floor and eaten it, no worries. What is the

rule? I've always wanted a specific second counter on that rule. Okay, so it's really cool. And this was totally signed. So some people published a great paper a few years ago about this. So it entirely depends on the type of food and the type of surface that

it gets dropped on. And so if it's a hard food on a hard surface, it might take more than five seconds to get contaminated. But if it's a soft food and it gets onto things like maybe drops on carpet or something, carpet has, you know, where between all the fibers, there are places where germs can stay, and so soft food is more likely to pick that up because it's moister. So that would be a zero-second rule. Moisture, keeping washing your hands and doing things like that are probably more important.

Got some wipes with us in the studio. Commonly you'll see on here, kills 99.9% of germs. Okay, why can't they claim 100%? What is that 0.01? Who are these germs that we can't get to with these wipes? So that's a really interesting thing because, so what does that claim mean to you?

So does it mean to you that it kills 99.9% of all different germs or all the germs that exist? Is that what that means? You know what I read into that when I see that on packaging? I'm like, that's dead old covering their ass in case anyone contracts it. But you see it on all sorts, don't you? Hand sanitiser, all that, everything.

So it's actually, so the claim is actually based on a test that's done where they take a small number of organisms, small number of microbes, and then they add, basically in a lab, you take a certain amount, say 100,000 of these microbes, and then you add basically in a lab you take a certain amount say a hundred thousand of these microbes and then you add the substance to them and if it kills 99.9 percent of that particular you know batch of microbes so if it gets you know down to what would that be maybe a thousand microbes or something then that's considered to kill 99.9%. And the important point about that, about microbes,

is that if you have 100 of them left, within a few hours they can grow and be back to where you started. So Detol Wipes and Glyn 20 Spray, are you a fan of? I'm not a fan of. I mean, there are certain contexts where they're really useful. So, for example, if you've been handling raw chicken and things like that, there are very few of those products in my house as well. Oh, well, that's really interesting because I spend an enormous amount of time

just frantically wiping down the studio for no good reason then. Well, so remember, though, we are in a global pandemic. I forgot about that. That thing, is that still around? Let's not forget about that. Dr Susie Wilds, don't forget to check out her documentary. It's called Susie and the Virus. It's on now on Loading Docs. It's a short documentary, really interesting,

leading up to lockdown. I see you're nominated too, which is awesome for New Zealander of the Year up against Dr Ashley Bluefield. Congratulations. Actually, to be honest, I think the team of five million should get it. I mean, it's phenomenal how everybody's come together. We're hoping you talk some smack

about Dr. Ashley Bloomfield or something on the radio. Oh, no! What we're going to do... We're all a team. What we're going to do is we're going to edit out the part where you were saying germs and we're going to go, he's a little germ and stitch you up in the edit. That's what we do, Susie.

Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. And of course, today we'll find out if the country will stay at the current alert levels or after midnight on Wednesday, they'll be eased. What do you reckon? Pitch your bets. Put your bets in.

What are we taking here? Legal gambling ring. I don't know. You watched the news last night and they were, you know, the people, the health people were saying we should do longer. But then anyone that is economy, you know, like economy minded and saying you've got to finish it. We've got to stop it by Thursday.

I've watched no news. I'm really not up to date with this. I've just been avoiding it. It was just making me sad. Yeah, it can get like that, right? Oh, it does. You turn on the news, you're like, nothing positive, eh? Nothing positive.

Why don't they do a happy news bulletin much? That's what I get saying. I was like, oh, you always give me grief about that. Well, let's do some quirky news now. Oh, that's right. Yeah, quirky news is good. Let's get to this. Gilda, I'm Ash Thomas, and this is the Bleeping News.

Yeah, Producer Juliet beeps out certain words from quirky news headlines. We have to try and figure out what they are. I mean, she's been on her sickbed, and this was the only thing that got her out, was the opportunity to censor certain words in news headlines. Thank you. Your first headline is, Amsterdam installs urinals with B***h in city centre to tackle wild peeing. I love wild peeing.

I'll just think of like an uncontrollable garden hose. So Amsterdam installs urinals with something in city centre to tackle wild pig. Yes. I'm going to say they installed bullseye targets. Oh, that's nice. So something for the... To aim at. Like people with a ping pong ball and stuff in toilets sometimes.

Sometimes you see a fly sticker on there of a fly, don't you? Yeah, that's quite good. I was trying to pee that off. I'm going to say actual dams. They've installed actual dams in Amsterdam. Oh, really? Just to stop the wild peeing from going everywhere. That's why they got the name Amsterdam.

I don't know. Yeah, true. All right, here we go. Amsterdam installs urinals with hemp planters in city centre to tackle wild peeing. Now, when I first read this, I was like, that just screams Amsterdam. But if you think about it, it's really good fertiliser. The hemp plants? Yeah.

Oh, so they're peeing on the plants. Well, it's like a little, you're peeing in a urinal, but it gets to the soil, you know what I mean? Like it's level with the soil so that the hemp plants can grow. Why do you even need a urinal? Why aren't they just outside? Why don't they just make peeing outside legal?

You can pee on those plants, go for it. But apparently the peeing hotspots have decreased, or like it's the level of wild peeing outside legal. You can pee on those plants. Go for it. There you go. But apparently the peeing hotspots have decreased. Or the level of wild peeing has decreased ever since these pot plants have come in place. I don't think I've ever had a wild. I wouldn't even describe it as wild. I guess it must be lots of people just going around peeing. Yeah, exactly.

All right, next news headline. Ben and Jerry's have a f*** with all their discontinued ice creams. Have a legals dispute with all their discontinued ice creams. We're taking them to court for unfair dismissal. I'm going to say they're going to make an ice cream with all their discontinued ones. Like a mystery ice cream full of lots of different flavours. That would taste really bizarre. Like you used to go to Pizza Hut, remember that?

All you could eat. Oh, and you just put everything on. They had one that was like the mystery one for it. Oh, and you'd just put everything on. They'd have one that was like the mystery one for tonight. It was all full of all sorts. You never want to eat a mystery something from a buffet, do you? Nah, God. All right.

The real thing is Ben and Jerry's have a flavour graveyard with all their discontinued ice creams. So they've got a dedicated page on their website and each flavour has its own gravestone. Some of the flavours, I was looking at wavy gravy, fossil fuel, Tennessee mud, and they've also got the white Russian in there. So those are some of the ones that have been discontinued. R.I.P. I know.

R.I.P. What was the other one? Gasoline one, did you say? Fossil fuel. Fossil fuel, yeah. But I mean, they taste like, they obviously don't taste like what you'd imagine them to, but I mean, with names like that,

you kind of don't blame that, the fact that they're in their little graveyard. Unlettered 91 released today at all Ben and Jerry's stores. Yeah, exactly. You can see that those were their experimental years. Like, hey, we had some wild times. Yeah, they didn't work, and that's why we've retired them to the graveyard.

All right, the final one. Man wraps neighbour's car in black plastic for... For contraception. I say for our wacky prank on the Jono and Ben TV show. Sounds like something we'd do, right? Man wraps neighbour's car in

black plastic for blocking his driveway. So he spent £2,000 putting up signs and lowering the curb or something to stop people from parking over his driveway. But then some person did it and says, right, I've had enough, gets massive black plastic. And I saw this news headline and I was like,

that does sound like a bit of you guys. You guys would have done something along those lines. We would have spent that complete waste of money on wrapping each other's cars up. My friend who was having some trouble with a guy, business trouble, his other mate went and got revenge because he drops like shingle and rocks to building sites and stuff and every

day for two weeks would just dump a mound of rocks at the end of this guy's driveway. So he couldn't leave. Every day they'd drive past him and he'd be like shoveling it. That is so sad. Every day for two weeks. Oh, the poor guy.

That is the news and beeps. Thank you very much, Juliet. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Yeah, this is the stuff you're going to be talking about today. And if you're not talking about this, well, then maybe you've got more important stuff to talk about. Ben Boyce.

All right, good news, bad news. Well, this is both, but what order you want to do it in? Oh, okay. Alright, good news, bad news. Well, let's do both, but what order you want to do it in? Oh, okay. Do I get to choose the format? Yeah, you get to choose. Okay.

How many good news stories have you got? Oh, well, one or two, depending on how long it takes you to decide. Let's sandwich it. Let's start with a good one, but just slot the bad stuff in the middle

and we'll end on a good one. Okay, so good one here. A couple in Ohio, they just got married and they couldn't have their wedding reception because of COVID-19. So they got married, a very small ceremony, and then they'd prepaid for all their food. They took it, and it's still in their outfits from their wedding.

They took it to a shelter, gave it away to all the women and children there at the shelter. So it was a lovely thing. Oh, that is a good story to start with. Good story. This is lovely. That's positive. So did they get to eat the wedding cake, all those people at the shelter as well? Oh, they got like a lovely meal.

It was a beautiful meal, so it was lovely. Do love a wedding meal, don't you? Remember we went to Bronnie's wedding, our mate, and I had a giant faux pas, didn't I? It was quite the sophisticated meal. He was just being sophisticated. I was sitting next to Ben. And he's like, oh, I'll just have the red wine jus for my dinner. Please just pick something off the menu.

I said this to the waiter. And the guy's like, great, but that's just the sauce that accompanies whatever you want. My good sir, I shall just have the jus. So I would have just ended up with a plate of juice. He's like, you might want something with it. Did you not know what jus was? No, I thought there was an option. You could choose between the meat or the jus.

So I chose the jus. It was delicious. I had to drink it like a dog. You know, you pour a plate in. Now you want the potentially bad news? Well, NASA says there's a small chance an asteroid could collide with Earth on November 2, a day before the presidential election in America. Now, it's less than 1% chance that this will happen,

this asteroid will hit Earth. Oh, it's grabbing headlines. 1%! Yeah, but everyone's saying with the way 2020, the way it is, it's probably going to hit Earth. That's the year the world is having. The perfect ending to the year. I was going to finish it.

What we need to do is we need to get Bruce Willis up there with Ben Affleck. That's right. They got rid of him the first time, didn't they? They did a fantastic job

in 1998 of getting rid of that asteroid, didn't they? Get bloody Liv Tyler involved somehow. Gary Smith can sing a song. Hey, Bob's your uncle. That could wrap

2020 up beautifully. A heck of a movie. And finally, now, good news, bad news sandwich that we're doing this morning. Here's the good news. A dog is getting a degree. Now, the eight-year-old therapy dog, Moose,

he does a lot of therapy for people at Virginia Tech in America, helps students cope with mental health issues, has received an honorary doctorate in veterinary medicine. So the dog's got a degree. That's lovely. I mean, lovely. That was kind of, that was nice news to end on.

Yeah. I guess. It was lovely. Or filler. Is there filler content? Yeah, a little bit of filler content. Also filler for giving out degrees it feels like.

What about all these people who have been working their guts out for 10 years when you just give one to a dog? I mean, the dog's helped a lot of people over the years. I mean, granted, but still. I've finally crumbled to a dog? I mean the dog's helped a lot of people over the years I mean granted but still.

I've finally crumbled to the dog pressure from Poppy and Oscar. Well we're on the waiting list for you. They have blind guide dogs the ones that don't quite make the cut.

So we're on the list there. I've succumbed guys. I've crumbled. It's a long waiting list though. There's like a thousand people on it which is great that these animals

get to go somewhere. It's great for you because it spaces out. I'm like, put us at number 1,000. We'll ride this out. Keep us there, keep us there. Hopefully by the time we're ready, there'll be 40. And that's what scrolling through your feed is all about this morning. Start your day the wrong way.

It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Spy, the WhatsApp spy.co.nz. Now to an update from the people who are far richer than us and have far kinder genetic make-ups. Producer Juliette with Spy. Thank you very much. Now Kanye West, after seeing his daughter North on TikTok all the time, on the TikTok.

On the TikTok. On the TikTok. On the TikTok. He wants... How did you sound like a boomer? I don't know. Gosh, I'm getting old. It's work, it's us rubbing off on you't know. Gosh, I'm getting old. It's work.

It's us rubbing off on you, babe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wants Jesus Talk to be a thing, a Christian version of the social media platform because he says that the things that North is watching is kind of too mature for what she should be watching. And he's like, I love the platform. I love what it does,

but I just think there should be a PG version, which is fair enough, actually. There's a lot of inappropriate lyrics and sort of stuff. A lot of people just so much pelvis grinding. Grinding on couches, grinding on grandmothers, just grinding. Yeah, yeah. Grinding time. And the kids like watching it, you know?

But that's the same thing. Exactly. I always find it quite interesting, you know, when Pete, he's had some controversial lyrical content over the years, can't you? Yeah. How those sorts of people in those positions end up parenting because, you know, his song Lil Pump. We'll play that show.

We'll play that song Lil Pump. Well, you couldn't. You couldn't, right? And, you know, so like his kids might see that and go, how can you say this? But then you did that. True. And us to a far lesser extent, obviously, with all of our shenanigans on YouTube.

Yeah. You know, they're like, well, you bloody knocked his house over with a digger. What are you telling me what to do? Fair point. Fair point. Do as I say, not as I do. A little fact of TikTok over the weekend, though, actually, there are more nipples in the world than people. Which makes sense because everyone's got two nipples. Just when you say it, you're like, oh, yeah, there are more nipples in the world than people. Which makes sense because everyone's got two nipples.

Just when you say it, you're like, oh yeah. Double. There are some more nipples. Ben thinks I've got a third one. In John's case, he's adding an extra one.

Yeah, now you look at this, Juliet, is that a third nipple? What is that? Wait, what? It's toned back a bit now.

Find it. It's toned back. I had to get it surgically removed. It was giving me a complex. I donated my nipple to someone else. Wonderful.

And Simon Cowell, after his, so he broke his back a while ago. He had to have six-hour surgery after riding on a new electric bike. Which went from zero to 120 k's in three seconds. Something unreal. And his fellow judge on America's Got Talent, Howie Mandel, has gifted him a tricycle. It arrived at his house, a little tricycle saying, get well soon. And if that's not the most adorable little present after ruining your back on an e-bike,

then I don't know what is. So that was quite nice, I thought. Howie Mandel, now, you might not know him, but you'd probably know him if you saw his face. A big germaphobe. Yeah. He won't even shake hands. This was before coronavirus. This was like 10 years ago.

He must just be in a downward spiral at the moment. Because he used to host Deal or No Deal in the States and he would always fist bump. You know, like that was always his thing. And everyone was like, oh, why is that? He's like, well, because I don't like, wouldn't want to touch anyone. Even that for him, I think, was quite awkward.

A friend of ours doesn't do it either. And someone went to shake his hand. He's like, no, I don't do that. And the person was like, oh. And then I was sort of there and I was like, and I overcompensated. I like shook both shake his hand. He's like, no, I don't do that. And the person was like, oh. And then I was sort of there and I was like, and I overcompensated. I shook both of his hands. I started licking his hands just to make up for it.

Wonderful. For more spa, you can go to the hitstock.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. We want to end things on a positive note, as we like to do. Hey, feeling good? Yeah.

Is it going to be a good day for you? We'd love to hear from you this morning. Let's chuck a nozzle in Monday's tank and fill it up, eh? Monday's tough. Oh, yeah, put something in Monday's pipe and smoke it. Yeah. Big day today. We're going to find out at 3 o'clock what's going to happen with the alert levels around New Zealand.

Mine's going to be a good day for you, Ben Bush. You looking good? It's a good start? Yeah. You come to work looking good. You're looking like you're going to be a good day for you, Ben Bush. You looking good? It's a good start? You come to work looking good. You're looking like you're going home Monday. Yeah, well, I got up and I got to work and that's why it's going to be a good day. This morning when the alarm went off, I was like,

oh, here we go. But I got up, I got through it. And it's going to be a good day because I'm here. Because he's tricking his brain into thinking it's going to be a good day. Well, this morning though, I was like, oh. It's going to be a good day going home, hanging out with though, I was like, ooh. It's going to be a good day. Going to go home and hang out with the kids. Oscar, we're playing basketball and broke his finger.

So it's great. He's in a moment of weakness now because he's getting to that stage in life where he's starting to beat me at wrestling and all the things that we play. Well, I've got an advantage. He's down. I'm still making him play with a broken finger. It's not the NBA finals. There's no critical games on the line.

It's the only way I can win. Your son's got a broken finger. He's got broken limbs. Sit out. There's no season. You can just keep going. This is the winning attitude, Ben. You strike when your opponent is weak.

Give him six weeks off. They don't have time to heal. I've been wrestling him, been winning. He's like, I've got a broken finger. I don't want to hear your problems, mate. I'm winning. Why is it going to be a good day for you? Oh, Andrew, the hits.

4487 on the text. Let's go to Auckland Sienna. You're on the radio. Why is it going to be a good day? It's going to be a good day today because we're going to go out and support the local businesses for dinner. Oh, that's lovely.

It's not often you hear a 15-year-old say they're going to go out and support local businesses. Simulating the economy. What are you going to have for dinner, Sianna? We're thinking about fish and chips. Oh, good option. Great. You don't usually go fish and chips Monday night,

but boy, oh, boy. I'm usually a fish and chip Friday guy. You're a Friday person. It needs the alliteration for me, but you go and enjoy those fish and chips, okay? Thank you. Double pass to Reading Cinema's coming your way, all right? Have a great day.

Thank you. Your big bug, Bea, with fish and chips is you order potato fritters and they always give you too many, don't they? Well, just give what you order. And then it's confusing because I might order less or not. It's just like they've made it very confusing.

Kay's on the phone from the Wairarapa. Why's it going to be a good day, Kay? Hi, because the toilet seat's down. I've been single for two years and I love having the toilet seat down. It's the little things like that that make you happy, Kay. You go and sit on that toilet seat and you free will enjoy it, Kay. And then you don't see what's growing out of it. Sounds like you need to clean.

You've got the whole thing down. You've got to put part of it up. There's a hand coming out of it. Alan. Alan's on the phone from Christchurch. Why is it going to be a good whole thing down? I mean, you've got to put part of it up. There's a hand coming out of it? Alan. Alan's on the phone from Christchurch. Why is it going to be a good day for you?

It's going to be a good day because it's Monday and it's starting to rain and nobody wants cockery so I should get to go home early. You enjoy that, Al. Double passes to Reading Cinemas for everyone that called.

You have yourself a great Monday, New Zealand. We'll catch you tomorrow from six. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and...

Oh, no, no, no, no. Just Jono on The Hits Breakfast. Brought to you by Skinny.