Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - August 25 - Jono Makes An Apology, The Referendumb, Ben's Mate Eats At 3am In The Morning, Jono Makes

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

Kia ora! After publicly slandering the New Zealand Broadcasting School for not asking him to be in one of their commercials, Jono had to swallow his pride and make an apology to them for getting the wrong end of the stick. We also played the News Jargon game, where today Jono had to call a cafe and drop as many topical words in the convo as he could - like Seymour, Party, Polling, Ardern etc. He creatively got them all in there! Finally, we wanted to know the greatest celeb merch that you own. Ben acquired Justin Bieber's water bottle when he was once here so we threw it out there to see what you guys had!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and B**** in your mornings on the hits. Brought to you by Skinny. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Ben, welcome to the podcast today, mate. How are you doing? Welcome with me to the podcast. Yeah, yeah. How you doing? All right? I'm all right. How are you? Good. Last night, Oscar, my son, he was showing me

this channel that he follows on YouTube of these guys in America who go around just paying for stuff for people.

So, like, what they do is they went onto a car yard and they went to the owner of the car yard. We want to buy

all of these cars. And so then everyone who walked onto the car yard, they'd be like, you want to buy this car? And they're like, yeah.

And they're like, it's a dollar. So they'd sell cars for like a dollar and stuff. Yeah. Really? What generous people. Why don't you do stuff like that, mate? I don't know what their budget is.

It's enormous. And then they had another episode where they were going around with this credit card. And so if you were shopping in JB Hi-Fi, for example, I'd go up to you and say, here, mate. Take this credit card. Buy anything you want. The game is, though, that if you get to the counter and your items exceed the value of the credit card, you don't get it. Oh, so not to be too greedy.

Not to be too greedy. But people were still getting $15,000, $20,000, $25,000 worth of stuff. This couple basically went all through Walmart and bought a whole bunch, like 12 grand's worth of stuff. A lady was in an art gallery. They bought her a $25,000 piece of art. Who's backrolling this show? I don't know, but the credit card, they're like,

what these people don't know is the credit card is stolen. That was the end result. So it turns out they're international fraudsters, and this is a wonderful, a generous scam where they steal. No, but in all seriousness, do they pay for it? They had a million dollar limit on the credit card. I'm just like, what? But then I looked at the video,

and it was sort of 45 million views on the video. So I'm gathering they would monetize that, and if that bankroll, I don't know. Risky, risky, but hey, good on them. Good on them doing better things than you and me. But anyway, speaking of the stuff we're doing, podcasts. Yeah, and I mean, what price do you put on a free podcast? Well, nothing, because we're not even due for it.

Yeah, you can have as many podcasts as the limit. No, it doesn't work with us. Here's Millennial Max, our producer, coming in with your soy latte, Ben. Thank you. Oh, this is way too hot. He didn't even touch it. I just wanted it to look like a tea. Thanks, Millennial Max.

Yeah, I'm sugar. Thank you, thank you. If you get that wrong, Mr. Pryor won't be happy. I'll throw the Stephen coffee in your face. Thanks, Max. That's lovely of you, too. We make Max pay for those as well. That's the type of people we are.

No, we don't. He can buy anything he wants. He doesn't know the limit on our stolen credit card. But it's actually $20 overdrawn. It was my credit card, and it's overdrawn. Thank you. Well, enjoy the podcast. I had a show today.

Phil Goff, Auckland Mayor. Talked to him. Auckland's staying level three. His thoughts and feelings about that. And Ben Boyce, a friend of yours, getting up at three in the morning. Yeah, for quite an unusual thing. Enjoy that on the podcast. The radio version of Morning Breath.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. We're going to change tack. There's a lot of serious stuff going on in the world right now. I call it changing gear in the biz. Pivoting. Yeah, pivoting. That's the hot word at the moment. Ben, we've just spoken to the Mayor of Auckland.

We've had a serious part to the show. Yeah. Now you want to bring it down. Bring it down a level. Lowbrow it. Referendum's happening later this year, but we do our referendum once a week. We put two things up against each other. It's a play on words. It's a referendums happening later this year, but we do our referendum once a week. We put two things up against each other.

It's a play on words. Thank you for spelling that out, Jono. And today, you brought this one to the table. I did. Ketchup or tomato sauce? I don't know. Have we ever had this debate before? I don't think we have.

No. What is preferential out there, New Zealand? 0800 the hits telephone number, 4487 on the text. Ketchup v tomato sauce. Producer Juliet, you come in here with your hot take. I think I'm a Tommy sauce

kind of gal. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's just because I've grown up with Tommy sauce. So like, I don't know why I'm calling it Tommy sauce, but...

Yeah, me neither. But you're rolling with it. I'm rolling. Tommy sauce. Tea sauce. Tea sauce. Tea sauce. I grew up with it,

so I think it's my fave. To be honest, we would buy tomato sauce, but then I'm just trying to think if I had the option if I went somewhere flat and in between ketchup and tomato sauce, maybe I would go ketchup. But just for your stock standard, I was sitting in the cupboard. Tomato sauce all day. But then I just had a thought that McDonald's,

they serve ketchup with their fries, and I love that. Maybe I don't feel as fancy as ketchup. Oh, but those niggly little sachets, never enough in there. Never enough content in those sachets, is there? We go through probably, oh, this is where the word of a lie, two bottles of tomato sauce a week. No. My son Oscar.

You're a food bogan. My son Oscar and me, we have the food bogan palette. Two a week. Everything on tomato. Spaghetti bolognese, tomato sauce on it. Toast tomato. He didn't even have tomato sauce sandwiches. But you're something with nothing else but a bread.

He's not a monster. I used to put tomato sauce in my two-minute noodles. Is that a bit weird? That is a bit weird, isn't it? No, it's not weird because the food program will try that this evening for dinner. That is not weird. That is experimental and I enjoy it a lot. It's in Jono's food permit.

It's the greatest debate since where does Jono's forehead and his head begin? Ketchup v tomato sauce. 4487 is our text number. 0800 the hits is our phone number. We've got some prizes that we're going to throw out to you too if you give us a call. Now I was just looking here online. Tomato sauce, generally sauteed tomatoes with spices. Ketchup, processed tomatoes with sugar.

Now I would have thought it was the other way around. I for some reason think that tomato sauce is a bit sweeter than your ketchup. Right. But opposite Ben Boyce. Talk about apples as well involving a large amount of apple content as well within the tomato sauce. But hey that might just be the rumour. Not to dogleg you're

a fan of the cooked tomato on your big breakfasts when you go. No. No. Like I need it but it just feels like filler. Why is it there? It might just be the rumour. Not to dogleg. Are you a fan of the cooked tomato on your big breakfasts when you go? No. No. Like I need it, but it just feels like filler. Why is it there? It's just because the spice. Put another hash brown on.

Check another saucy there. You don't need to fill up that little bit of the plate with a half-cooked tomato. Who is eating those things? I don't know. But then you give me a non-cooked tomato. No, they put parsley on them. I'd eat one of those. Yeah, all right.

Let's go to the phones. It's Carla. Wonderful to have you on the show this morning. Morning. Your thoughts, tomato sauce, ketchup, the referee, and dumb. Only tomato, but as children, we only had homemade tomato sauce, no brought. Homemade. Homemade.

What was homemade tomato sauce like? Oh, beautiful. Yeah, lovely. And that's all we grew up on, so delish. Oh, okay. Look, I've never had homemade tomato sauce. Someone was living the high life in Pukakohe when you were growing up. That's right.

That's right, yeah. Well, thank you for your call. Hold the line, we'll find something for you. You and your homemade tomato sauce going to have a good day, Carla. Let's head to Palmy North. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Zach, how's it going? Hey, good morning.

Lovely to have you on. This is the referendum. Big issues, big topics. Ketchup v tomato sauce. I'm a big ketchup fan. It's just got that zing to it, I reckon. It's a little bit more pricier, though, the ketchup, isn't it? What, your Heinz, is it?

It's definitely worth it, though. I actually called up for your referendum a couple of weeks ago on the one that puts sauce underneath the chips as well. Oh, that's right. Under, that's right. He lays a bed of sauce and then a load of it, sauce underneath the chips as well. Oh, that's right. Under, that's right. Yeah, he lays a bit of sauce and then a load of it, which is very unorthodox. I like that.

Going against the grain. That's not textbook, but hey, that's your way, Zach. And let's go to Tony in Auckland. The referee, dumb Tony. Ketchup, tomato sauce, your thoughts. Well, firstly, all of these people saying ketchup, like they're Americans. Next, they'll be walking around with fanny packs

and rooting for their football team. You think it's too Americanised? It's tomato sauce. And the apples is because apples are grown pretty much all year round. And you know like baby food, when you get apple sauce, like that little baby food? All it is is just lots of flavouring in apples, but it's good. It's a Kiwi thing, tomato sauce.

Oh, so you're saying patriotically we all need to lock in your Wadi's tomato sauce. Yes, down with Trump. Down with Trump. You like ketchup, you like Trump. Is that what you're saying? Exactly. Thank you, Tony. Loaded texts coming in.

And to be honest, looking at our Facebook votes as well, it's split 50-50 down the middle New Zealand. Now, we wanted to get a deciding vote, and we just discovered that Millennial Max, producer for the show, you don't like either. Either. They both make me feel a little bit ill, if I'm honest. Just the smell of it.

He does not like tomato sauce. He's never had it. He doesn't put it on anything. No ketchup or tomato sauce. He just wouldn't have it at all. No. So what we have is a jar. He's never had it. He doesn't put it on anything. No ketchup or tomato sauce. He just wouldn't have it at all. No. So what we have is a jar. Mayonnaise, if anything.

We have a jar of both ketchup and tomato sauce. And Millennial Max, we're going to force him to make the decision. Now this, I tell you, when I first started in radio for a stunt, we ran through glass windows that were on fire. I got my intestines cut out and third degree burns in one stunt. Now we're making people taste tomato sauce. And we've asked him, are you okay with this? We don't want to push you.

I'm like, it's just tomato sauce. Times have changed. PC madness. After this, he's going to run through the studio window just to give us a good out. Break it. That's right. While Jono Tattoos is behind.

That's the way we do it on radio. Those are the stunts that we know and love. All right, so, but 2020 stunts. Taste the tomato sauce. Just tip your little finger in there. Not too much, though. No, not too much. Is that enough?

Yeah, that's good. Okay, this is tomato sauce. You thought something. You're doing that very seductively, Max. Oh, okay. This is tomato sauce. You thought something. You're doing that very seductively, Bex. Oh, wow. Unusually seductively. It was, wasn't it? Because I can't even look at it.

It's doing things to me, buddy. Okay, so that was tomato sauce. Your thoughts? It's quite sweet. Okay, it's quite sweet. That's what was confusing me before. I always thought the ketchup was the tangier one. Okay, and now the ketchup. It's quite sweet. Okay, it's quite sweet. That's what was confusing me before. I always thought the ketchup was the tangier one. Okay, now the ketchup.

It's decision making. Just don't do it as sexual this time. I think I got my tongue out last time. Yeah, I know. I can't even look at it. Just taste it. I'm going to turn. There you go.

Your thoughts. Oh, yuck. Oh. You're not a fan. Okay. So out of the two, which one we know you don't like either, you've got to make the deciding vote. K're not a fan. Out of the two, which we know you don't like either, you've got to make the deciding vote. Ketchup, tomato sauce?

Tomato sauce. Oh, there we go. That's the winner. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating still pending. It's Jorow and Mano Mahets. Now, yesterday it was announced in a press conference, lockdown extended in Auckland into 11.59 on Sunday.

Then all of New Zealand will be in level two. A lot of phrases been used over the press conferences over the last few weeks. So yesterday, Jono, you gave me a challenge of calling up a cafe

and booking a table and trying to insert as many of those references, you're holding up signs, all those buzzwords, the jargon from the press conferences into the call. There's just a small cluster of us that want to come down

and have a meal. Tomorrow? Yeah, maybe tomorrow. Can we lock down a time around about 11 o'clock in the morning? Can you put under my name Dr Ashley Bloomfield? So today, Jono, it's your turn, and we're going to do a political special, okay? Okay.

I've got some pieces of paper. What words have you got on them? I've got things like Seymour, David Seymour, Labour, polling. There's another one here, referendum,

candidate, electorate, booth, party. So you'd see how many of these you can get into a booking. Okay, well, we'll see if we can cleverly

or not so cleverly insert these into conversation. All right, let's make the call. It's quite hard to get paper away from each other. I always like to do the finger lick. Good morning, Deville. Oh, good morning. How are you? I'm good.

How can I help? Listen, do you take bookings? We do. Yep. For a party of five, thank you. Five? Yeah. And what's that? For today? Today, later on this afternoon, yeah. Now, just a quick question. Do you guys run a table operation or more of a booth system?

I guess we've got like half a booth. Half booths, okay. Yeah, but we've got tables outside and all that kind of stuff. Haven't fully committed to a booth, you've got a half one. I'll take that. We were deciding where to go. Okay. And I said to my friends and family, guys, we need got a half on. I'll take that. We were deciding where to go. And I said to my

friends and family, guys, we need to be voting on this. So we held a referendum. And turns out you guys are the perfect candidate. Now your polling system. I'm a bit concerned. I do have a tendency to walk into polls.

How many polls do you have in the restaurant? I'd say two. We've got a leaner. That's fine. Any more than two, I sort of walk into them. Now, I don't want to labour on it for too long. So do you think I could see more of your menu?

Is there anywhere I could see more of your menu? There should be one on our website of the full menu. One of my favourite historical world figures, Winston Churchill, used to love eating roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Do you have that on the menu? We don't, sorry. No roast beef at the moment.

What about an outdoor garden? Do you have a garden? An arden. A garden. Oh, a garden. A garden? No, a garden. It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here.

How are you? Oh, how's it going? We're going all right. I was just making Jono try to insert as many election-based jargon into the conversation. Hence his polling question and his garden. That was just an odd turn, if it makes sense. Oh, yeah.

You sound sufficiently disappointed, and that's the appropriate reaction. Out of 10, I'd say I'll go about a 9. A 9? He did really well. Polling well with this guy. I'll still reserve a table for you. Give your about a nine. A nine? He did really well. Polling well with this guy. I will give you business. I'll still reserve a table for you. Give your business a plug.

Where can people come see you? Deville, 22 New Street, Nelson. In Nelson. I can't wait to come down and check out your gut. Arden. Thank you, mate, for being such a good sport. You hold the line, we'll find something for you. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, last week, you had a wee crack at the New Zealand Broadcasting School, where you studied radio, TV, journalism. You had a crack because there's ads playing on the radio voiced by... Multiple media people. Yeah, multiple. I voiced one

and you were not happy that me and many others got to voice some ads. Have a multiple. I voiced one and you were not happy that me and many others got to voice some ads. Have a listen. Then I heard other voices. John Campbell. Are you ready to speak up, speak out,

tell stories? Jack Tame. Are you ready to speak up, speak out? Yeah, who else have they got on their millennial mat? Are you ready to speak up, speak out?

Brie Thomasel. Yeah, she's great. ZDM Afternoon host. She's from Australia. She's not from here. She didn't go to the New Zealand Broadcasting School. Everyone with a mouth has been asked to do an ad.

Not me. I was never asked to do this. So apart from your hot takes on immigration, you also had some hot takes on the broadcasting school and the fact that you were not asked to voice an ad. You were not asked. Went on a rampage. Went on a rampage.

Everyone in the industry was asked, but not you. Yeah, said some stuff and some events and some transpires. You came to work yesterday with your laptop between your legs. I did, which is a weird place to keep it, but it keeps my inner thighs warm. Head down going, hey guys,

a little something. You discovered an email. Yeah. While you were clearing out your emails over the weekend. I was. And then you know I'm not great at email etiquette and administration, Ben. It turns out I was asked by the New Zealand Broadcasting School. You received an email like everyone else. Official email.

You never replied back. So listen, my sincerest apologies to everybody. I let the team down. I've let down my family. Was I to apologise? Team of five million. Let's call Tony Simons, who's the head of the broadcasting school. You can apologise to Tony. Really?

Yeah. Hello? Hello, is that Tony? Oh, it is. That voice seems familiar. Is that Ben Boyce? It is. It's Ben.

Yeah, it's Ben for Jono and Ben. Nice to talk to you, Tony. How's things? Yeah, good. How are you? I'm doing all right. Now, I've got to bring in my friend here, Tony. Hi, Tony.

Have you got a friend? Well, yeah. Unfortunately, I do. There's an and between our names, Jono and Ben. Now, he's got something he wants to say to you, Tony. Okay. Tony, listen, I don't know if you're aware, I publicly went in on the New Zealand Broadcasting School

just last week. Yeah. Is this on that Facebook thing, is it? Yeah. Yeah, he went on it because he wasn't chosen and amongst all these other people, he was delving into the careers of other people going, they were chosen over me, this person.

All these people were asked, and not Jono Pryor. Now, Jono, you've got a wee confession to make to Tony. Listen, Tony, as it turns out, looking further into my electronic mail system, looks like I may have been asked to do it. Oh, you dropped the ball. On the 1st of July. Was it Brendan Riley?

Yeah. Yeah, no, he emailed me. And he sort of... Of course he emailed me and I did it, I sent it back. But anyway. Yeah, hi there, Jono. Just asking a number of media personalities. You might be able to help.

Here's the script. Would really appreciate it if you did it. Yeah. And that email slipped through the gaps. It slipped through the gaps. I'm going to put it down to administration error. Yeah, it's all right, Jono. To be honest, we didn't actually notice.

Okay. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. Because, Tony, I'm... Are you a bit left? You missed out? Listen, I was,

but then it turns out when I was invited to be part of the party and now there's egg on my face. But it turns out you weren't really gagging for me anyway, Tony. As it turns out. Your gagging might be overstating it. Well, I'm not sure. Were you gagging might be overstating it.

Were you gagging for being voice? It was an email that I responded to with a voice. While I've got you on the line, Jono, our students are doing a radio station called Trax 96.1. It's a hot country station. We're doing that this year. Country music, okay. Hot country, not country music. I'm sorry.

What's the difference between hot country and country? Hot and modern. Hot and modern country. Oh, okay. Hot country, not country and western. I'm sorry, what's the difference between hot country and country? Hot and modern. Hot and modern country. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Yeah, and we're looking for a station voice, so you might be interested in contributing to that, maybe. Yeehaw. Howdy, partner. Welcome to

hot country. Yeehaw. Actually, on second thoughts, forget it. I think what needs to do it in the voice. Yeah. Country and western. Actually, on second thoughts, forget it. I think what needs to happen, Tony, is we need to have him apply for

the broadcasting school. Do the course. Do the two and a half year degree and then he can get work his way back into media and maybe he'll get him on the radio.

Yeah. Tony doesn't even sound like he wants to be in his course. Tony, love your work, mate. Yeah, thank you. You go and have a great day. Good to talk to you, Tony.

Take care. See you, Ben. Bye-bye. The Auckland Mayor of, well, the Auckland Mayor of Auckland, Phil Coffin. And he went to the broadcasting school. Oh, damn it. Not a great advertisement for them. Wake up and smell them.

Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the Hits. I was mentioning to you yesterday that a mate of mine likes training and going to the gym

and working out and eats a lot because he goes to the gym and he has a meal at three in the morning, wakes up, and then he has granola. Some granola.

So he sets his alarm, wakes up, and has a 3 a.m. granola. Yeah, so he watches a little bit of late night TV and, yeah, watches a little bit of that and then goes back to bed and gets up and has a 3 a.m. granola. Yeah, so he watches a little bit of late night TV and yeah, watches a little bit of that and then goes back to bed and gets up about 6 o'clock.

The only thing I'm doing at 3 a.m. is getting up and going for a pee, but I'm also doing that 1, 2 and 4 as well. I'm quite regular. Quite regular. Well, actually, though, last night, though, you told a story about getting up in the middle of the night and it reminded you of another time that you got up early in the night with quite a start. So I woke up and there's like keys trying to get in the middle of the night. And it reminded you of another time that you got up early in the night with quite a start.

So I woke up and there's like keys trying to get in the door and the door handle's turning. Oh my God. That's like a horror movie. That is. A little bit of peas come out. Yeah, I can imagine. A little bit.

Did you change your voice? Like, uh, you know, trying to say something. Yeah, you're always like, who's there? Who's there? You try and put on a big scary voice like there's a monster living in the house. And so then I'm like, well, God, what do I do?

And there was just someone there because there was a glass door and I could see a shadow and they were like messing around. Freaky. Oh, absolutely terrifying. And so then this lady's voice comes through. She's like,

I'm trying to get in. I was like, why? I didn't know how to respond to that. Why? It's our house. Why? And she's like, I need to get in. I'm lost.

And what I had done stupidly and purely coincidentally was when I got home from work that evening, I had just stumbled around and obviously put my stuff on the ground, but I left my keys on the ground. So she had my keys outside the door. Well, I heard a fence. Maybe she thought, oh, well, there's keys here. Maybe I can just walk into this house like Goldilocks.

So, yeah, that's what that is. So my producer Humphrey's like, you never told the end of that story. So anyway, I called the police and they tasered her. No, that didn't happen. In the middle of the night in my house, every night, because we've got a dog, a white fluffy Samoyed, and he likes to go out to the bathroom in the middle of the night. But every night, in the night, he's quite respectful about it.

He doesn't bark. He just does this weird, like he stands in the door and no one else in the house hears it. But everyone else does hear it. That's what I think. What they do, they do a good job of pretending not to hear it. I know, it was just like one night

because someone noticed that the dog's like, and I'm just standing in the hallway and I'm like, here we go again. It's almost worth either recording him

and playing it back in the morning or waking him and I'm going, listen to this. This is what I'm dealing with every night. that's my homework tonight.

I'm going to record the dog in the middle of the night as he goes, you know, quite quiet. I'm respected for not doing a loud bark but I don't respect my family for not waking up. Oh, but you can do anything in the middle of the night as he goes, you know, quite quiet. I'm respected for not doing a loud bark, but I don't respect my family for not waking up.

Oh, but you can do anything in the middle of the night, can't you? You eat 3 a.m. granola. That's why I get up in the middle of the night because no one knows what you're up to. There are all sorts of shenanigans going on. Sometimes I go running down the middle of the road in the middle of the night. Want more Jono and Ben?

You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. I got woke up in the middle of the night last night, Ben. Right. catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. I got woke up in the middle of the night last night, Ben. Right. 2.35 a.m. It's always concerning when someone's knocking on your door. Oh, knock on the door, yeah. At the hour of the morning, isn't it?

Yeah, and then Jen's always like, get up, get up. And I was like, why is it my job to get up? Why is it always going at me? You know, if there's a bug, go get the bug. Why me? I hate getting bugs. Yeah. I hate answering doors in the middle of the night. Yeah, don't want to do it. No one wants to? I hate getting bugs. I hate answering doors in the middle of the night.

Yeah, don't want to do it. No one wants to do it. No, I hate investigating random noises in the middle of the night. That's not one of my hobbies. Yeah. Anyway, so I got up, answered the door, and it turned out it was just nothing. It was the neighbour going, oh, listen, can you just rip your branch off your tree? It's scratching against my bedroom window.

That was a minor thing. Oh, but in the middle of the night, I guess. Oh, terrified. But it reminded me I've never told this story Remember about two or three years ago We were sleeping and it was that moment And Jen was like

There's someone at the door Trying to get in And you've just woken from dead sleep It's an abrupt awakening So I'm like what what what So I woke up and then there's a sure thing. There's scratching at the door of the keys and there's like keys trying to get in the door

and the door handle's turning. Oh my God. That's like a horror movie. That is. A little bit of peas come out. Yeah, I can imagine. A little bit. Did you change your voice?

Yeah, you do. You're always like, who's there? Who's there? You try and put on a big scary voice like there's a monster living in the house. Or when people knock and you're in the bathroom, you always change your voice as well. There's someone there.

You know, just say it's not you. And so then I'm like, well, God, what do I do? And there was just someone there because it was a glass door and I could see a shadow and they were like messing around. Freaky. Oh, absolutely terrifying. And so then this lady's voice comes through. She's like, I'm trying to get in.

I was like, why? I didn't know how to respond to that. Why? Why? And she's like, I need to get in. I'm lost. And what I had done stupidly and purely coincidentally was when I got home from work

that evening, I had just stumbled around and obviously put my stuff on the ground, but I left my keys on the ground. but I left my keys on the ground. So she had my keys outside the door. Maybe she thought, oh, there's keys here. Maybe I can just walk into this house, like Goldilocks. So she's

going, I'm like, oh God, what do I do? What do I do? And then, so then I get a rolling pin, you know, from the kitchen. I just grabbed the first thing and I was like, I've got a rolling pin. And she's like, I don't know. And then she looks through the window and she's like, me kids love your show.

And I'm like, oh, dear Jesus. But it's not often you get to meet a fan, so I invited her in. We had a cup of selfies, sat down, had a cup of tea. I've never met a fan. Great time for selfies. Even if they're trying to break into my house, I'll take them. I'll take anyone you can get. Making poor life decisions every morning.

It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Yesterday it was announced lockdown extended in Auckland until 11.59 on Sunday and then all of New Zealand will be at level two right around the country. And joining us right now is the Mayor of Auckland, Phil Goff. Thanks for your time. How are you? Oh, g'day. Well, it's one crisis to another, but we're getting there.

You're getting there. You sound, gee, you've got a crystal clear phone line there. Is this on the Mayor's landline, is it, Phil? This is my office line. Oh, yeah, it's a wonderful phone. We don't usually get so quality like this on the phone line. So firstly, can I play? Not like that at home. I'm in a shadow area, so I don't usually get so quality like this on the phone line. Not like that at home.

I'm in a shadow area, so I don't get good cell phone coverage, get terrible internet, and the landline's often down when it rains. Well, listen, if there's any perks of being the mayor, surely you can just sort yourself out some good Wi-Fi coverage. You'd think I'd be able to do that, eh? Have you got much sleep lately,

Phil Goff, in all seriousness? Because last night, you were all over the news. I saw, multiple times, and then this morning you're up early talking to us. I mean, it's a pretty big job for you. Yeah, you weren't the first. I had one interview at 5.45 this morning, and yeah, it goes through most of the day. So, yeah, on a good day you sort of get to bed and then you dream about it all night, about what you're going to do the next day?

What sick monster's booking in at 5.45 for an interview? Well, you can blame Newstalk Z. Hawksby. Hawksby, Hawksby. There's a superior radio station. Phil Goff, how devastating is this for the city

of Auckland? And obviously that's got a flow-on effect for the rest of the country, financially speaking. But, you know, what are we losing every day financially? Well, we're losing something and we're gaining something. What we're gaining is probably more important, and that is around some certainty that we're not going to end up in a Melbourne-type situation. I was this morning following a correspondent from Melbourne, and she was saying their death toll has now hit 431 in Victoria,

and they're midway through a seven-week total lockdown, and they're extending their state of emergency for another year. And if you look at, you know, you've got to look at the counterfactual. What if we didn't do this? What would happen? And look, it's for people that are younger, you know, they'll get it and they, in most cases, will recover from it. But we've got vulnerable communities out there

and literally you would face hundreds of people dying. Now, you've also got to look at the economic side of it and, you know, I have huge sympathy for those small businesses that can't operate under level three and it is tough for them. And, you know, it was good that the original proposal for those small businesses that can't operate under Level 3, and it is tough for them. And, you know, it was good that the original proposal had an extension of the wage subsidy,

and there are other sick leave provisions that can be provided. But they are doing it tough, and some of them won't survive. So, you know, from my point of view, the sooner that we can safely get back to Level 2, the better. You know, on Sunday, I heard the news, only one community transmitted case. And I thought, yeah, great. Look, that might mean we can come out Wednesday night. Yesterday, it was up to eight again. And we just got to make sure that we have got this thing

contained because we don't want to go back prematurely only to find out that we end up worse, both economically and in terms of risk to people's health and safety. Well said. A tough decision, I imagine, for them to make between balancing health and business, but also an interesting decision about masks are going to be compulsory on public transport. Yeah, well, you've got to say that it makes sense.

We had three community transmitted cases through the bus service in Auckland in the latest cluster. And you are in a confined space. And, you know, even though the bus, you know, the Auckland Transport and the bus companies are doing everything they can to deep clean the buses, to physically separate people, you are still in a confined environment. And when you sneeze, you know, people within a couple of metres of you are going to be in danger. So wearing masks, I mean, it's a pain. I wandered around the CBD on Saturday when I was in at work.

And, you know, the mask irritates you a bit and you'd rather not be wearing it. But you know that it's a common sense safety precaution to do it. And if we've got to do it, we've got to do it. And it makes sense to do it on public transport. So I welcome that. Listen, it's shocking for radio from Monday. We're going to be... That's probably better for our show, though.

Hey, quickly, one before I go. I'm a small business owner selling plant-based products out of my house with shoes on my power line. What's your message to me? Well, it depends what sort of plants you're selling. Maybe come talk to him after the referendum. Okay, so you've got no message for me.

No, the message is click and collect. That's right. I'll phone back sometime, buddy. Okay, guys. See you later. I better open up click and collect. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Hey, listen, one of my favourite things in life is we apologise in advance it's Jono and Ben on the hits hey listen

one of my favourite things in life is I love it more than my family it's holding doors open for people you do more than my family

when my wife married me I said just so you know there's another love in my life and that's holding doors open you refuse to go through those doors that sort of

rotate don't you? We spoke about those. Every morning they bamboozle me when we... I can't get to hold them back for anyone. But you need to get the right... You need to hit them at the right pace, don't you? And keep that pace consistent while you're living. We actually learnt that they were to do with

not letting in breezes and the air conditioning inside, right? The cold weather and all that sort of stuff won't come in because the doors are constantly rotating. Yeah, we did assume it was a status symbol of the building, but we were wrong. It's actually got a function. It's a genius function when you think about it, really.

But anyway, here at work, there's a lot of doors. We like doors here at work. Yeah, open door policy. I just saw you walk out of one and walk into one before. Yeah, I did. Yeah. But the thing is, we've got quite a big foyer out here. And so when we swipe into this door,

you can hear people coming behind you. And I like to open the door. It's polite, isn't it? Although 2020, some people find it sexist, don't they, if you hold the door open for them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, I don't care about sexism. I'm a pro-sexist.

I don't know if that's what you want to say. Controversially. You just open the door for whoever. Yeah, I don't care about sexism. I'm a pro-sexist. I don't know if that's what you want to say. Controversially. You just open the door for whoever. Yeah, I open the door. I like opening it for you because I know you don't like touching the handles. So I open the door for you. Everyone gives me grief because I touch with my jacket.

Ben puts his hand inside his T-shirt and uses his T-shirt to open a door handle. I started doing that this year and I've still got it into a weird habit. And everyone looks at me. They judge me too. So should I go to someone else? They look at me and I'm like,

are you gay? I don't know how you think it looks in your head, but it looks unusual. People are talking. Everyone, you can tell. The guys are just sort of like... Anyway, so what I like to do is I take the hit for Ben and I just open the door.

But anyway, my question is that once I... So if I'm in this foyer here, I'm holding the door open for someone, what's the distance that I am legally required to hold that door open for, say if someone's 10 or 20 metres behind me? Because what I feel I'm doing is, when I'm doing it,

is I'm making them feel like they have to rush to the door. Because they're like, uh-oh, this guy, this polite gentleman, albeit quite sexist, is holding the door open for me, and now I feel like I need to... Now, this is obviously in a time that we're not worried about social distancing, because obviously at the moment, you know... Oh, shut the door in their face at the moment.

Shut the door in their masked face. Yeah, it's a good point, because you do feel like you give a little bit of a hurry up. You're like, oh, here we go. This old mate's dropped the door in about 50 minutes to get to. Same with the lift door. What's the lift door policy when you put your arm in or not? I know I've to get to same with the lift door you're like what's the lift door policy when you put your arm in

or not I know I've had some shockers with the lift too because sometimes I let people in before I get out and they're like no this is not how it works

it's around the system all out of kilter here or when you go yeah come in and the doors are closing and you don't get your arm there in time and they come in

and they think they've been pranked Ben did this to me in a lift we'd finished work it was late been a long day and we sort of had separately left and he was in and they think they've been pranked. Ben did this to me in a lift. We'd finished work and it was late, been a long day and we sort of

had separately left and he was in the lift. I could see him in the lift and I was running up to the lift. The doors were open and I was like, hold the lift and he looked at me

and he shrugged his shoulders as if there was nothing he could do and the door slowly closed and he just disappeared. Yeah, nothing you can do in that situation. It's stuck. Put your hand through. Put your hand through. Put the lift. Hold your just disappeared. Yeah, nothing you can do in that situation. It's stuck. Put your hand through.

Put your hand through. To the left. Hold your arm out. You've had your time. I'm not holding the lift up anymore. I'm not sorry, mate. I'll catch you tomorrow. Well, one of us opens doors and the other just lets the lifts go.

Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Spy. No WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. All right. The news bulletin that features all the people with no wrinkles or soles. It's Spy with producer Juliette. Speaking of no wrinkles, David Beckham, his latest hobby is getting into his wife's makeup.

Apparently, he gets into her bronzes, he gets into her serums, and that is his secret for literally looking like he does and he looks magnificent doesn't he he does and she loves to test her

makeup on him apparently because she's got her own beauty line so he's like her dummy like he just gets it all

on her face when she's producing new beauty products I secretly use Jennifer my wife so I'm bloody exfoliating

and moisturising when you're in the bathroom you're kind of alone so you get to kind of have a rub my face is just

covered in creams you might wonder how I have such a blemish free flawless complexion I haven't oh I haven't but anyway

but you might maybe if I stick with the regime do you secretly use Amanda's products oh now and again you have a little

rub oh what's this let's see how this is sometimes I take a little bit of shampoo and Oh, what's this? Oh, let's see how this is, you know. Sometimes I take a little bit of shampoo and I put it on my head and I'm like, oh, okay. Do a full shampoo and condition. You could put it in your little stubble there, Jono, as well. Yeah, thanks, Juliet.

Makes me feel part of the team. What is the one product that girls would get annoyed at guys secretly using? Because it's expensive stuff, right? I would say probably serums, actually. Because serums, they come in little pottles, and you only need one or two drops on your face, and it's easy to just squirt everything out and then just go, woo!

Yeah, right. And you don't want to just squirt it all out and go, woo! You never want to do that, Juju. No, you don't. There's an ad on TV at the moment with Suzanne Paul, the infamous queen, and we see it every morning. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's puffy eye cream.

But then they, you know how they've got the graphics down the bottom of the screen of all the people on the screen? It's got Derek, puffy eye cream user. Like he's part of Alcoholics Anonymous or something. The poor people that are on the edge. But he doesn't have puffy eyes. No.

So they look great now. Yeah, they do. Yeah, and an abandoned storage unit in LA recently went up for auction and someone got it for $500. They paid $500

for this storage unit but inside it that nobody knew was a bunch of legitimate Kobe Bryant merchandise. So there were 35 pairs of shoes,

Lakers practice gear. Wait, is it his actual gear? His actual gear, tax paperwork. All the tax files he'd been trying to hide and was meant to put them through the paper shredder. And a bunch of other clothes. And the person who bought that storage unit has now sold it on again for $20,000

to a TV show that does storage stuff. So it was Kobe's storage unit? has now sold it on again for $20,000 to a TV show that does storage stuff. Wow. So it was Kobe's storage unit? Yeah, yeah. Surely it's worth more than $20,000. Yeah. Well, I think this TV show that they've sold it on to then is going to sell it on again, but individual items.

Somebody should have done a good clean up of their garage. Oh my goodness, I know. So that's actually a thing, right? People just go around buying storage units not knowing what's in them. Because I mean, nine times out of ten you'd end up with some

bloody grotty, stained, dusty mattress that your grandparents owned, you know? Always got suspicious stains on them, don't they, mattresses? I don't know why. But yeah, obviously

you had a win this time. Yeah, absolute jackpot, eh? What's the best bit of merch you've got? Well, we've got my wife Amanda, her granddad played for the All Black? Well, we've got my wife Amanda, her granddad played for the All Blacks, so we've got an All Black top, an actual jersey.

Like I was telling you the other day, they played in the 1930s in a jersey. Oh, you said it was woolen. Yeah. Because we had to get it reframed just because obviously to protect it. And it's like, man, this used to be so... These guys were straight hanging out.

Colin Meads was out there, mate. All rashy and red at the end of the game. That would be the toughest thing back then. Remember you kept, we interviewed Justin Bieber and Ben Boyce kept his half-drunk H2Go bottle. I did. I would have done the same. A little bit disturbing.

I was like, okay, why am I keeping this? Why are you drunk out of this? Justin Bieber's goobies are in this bottle. It was weird. I had to pull myself together and go, come on. Blue in calories and blue in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Now, we want to know

your best bit of merchandise. What's the best merch that you own? Yeah, we're trying to, at the moment, the bar is set very high. Ben Boyce held on to Justin Bieber's

half-drunk H2Go bottle. Yeah. He could have caught meningitis off Bieber if you wanted. I kept that for a little bit and then I throw it out. Also, I got...

How long did you roll with it for? I had it for a good couple of weeks, and I'm like, oh, it's just got a weird... Because it's just a bottle of... It's just a plastic bottle of water. We always wanted to do a thing where, you know how famous people come to New Zealand and they stay in a fancy hotel?

Well, then we then give away their bed sheets after they've slept. Yeah, or the whole bed. The whole bed, yeah. Mattress, you wanted to do the mattress, didn't you? The bed you sleep with where Bieber sleeps. Yeah, sleep with Bieber. Yeah, yeah. That'd be cool. We'll do mattress, didn't you? The bed you sleep with where Beaver sleeps. Yeah, sleep with Beaver. Yeah, yeah.

That'd be cool. We'll do that one day. Okay. That's a little disturbing as well. I had also a pair of underpants that Dan Carter signed, some jockeys, because he did the jockey ads. So I got them signed and then my mum washed them. And then the signature came out.

She got the stubborn stains. Not my signed Dan Carter underpants. And all of you are like, oh yeah, got rid of the writing on it. Oh, it's the point of having your underpants that no one's going to see them. Oh no, but I didn't, you know, I wasn't going to wear them.

I was just like, oh, it's like the jockey's. I was like, it's like some jockeys. They weren't underpants that were in the rotation policy. No, they had to be after that because they had the signature was gone. Let's hit the Rotorua.

Lisa, you're on the air. Wonderful to speak to you. Good morning. Your merch. Can you beat Ben Boyce's half-drunk bottle of H2Go from Justin Bieber or his signed Dan Carter underpants? Yeah, my daughter got hand-given David Beckham's shirt off his back with his sweat and his grass stains and all.

Oh, my God. From his hands? His hands held the shirt and put them under her hands? Yeah, and then he went on The Crowd Goes Wild and said he gave it to her because she had a beautiful smile. Oh, what a moment. Back a golden ball, Sandy.

He plays the scores of gold in my heart. Yeah, that's pretty cool. So where was this? This was up in Auckland probably about 14 years ago I think it must have been because she was only little.

What does it smell like? What does it smell like? Tell me, tell me. Oh, amazing. He was in that great moment at the end of the game to a lovely giveaway shirt but then also he's walking around shirtless,

which is a great moment as a player. Yeah, I was excited for that. Yeah, he looks great. Well played. I would smell that shirt every night I went to bed. I'd sleep with that shirt. Like a cuddly. You'd take it a bit like a cuddly, wouldn't you?

Suck on it. Danielle, thank you for joining us this morning. What is your merch? Can you beat David Beckham's sweaty, BO-laden football shirt? Hi. I have an electric guitar signed by Brian May and Roger Taylor from Queen.

Oh, my goodness. OMG, babe. That is awesome. How did you get this? My dad bought it at a charity auction and kept it in his garage for a few years. And then I just found out he had it, and I went crazy. And he said, give it to me for my birthday.

You went crazy and you threw it around and smashed it against the ground? Those are always, I imagine, quite intoxicated purchases, the old charity auction items, aren't they? Everyone will lick it up and then they're like, bid, bid for charity. Many, many a well-to-do businessman have woken up in a bed full of regret the next morning after a charity auction. That's amazing though. Where have you got it?

Where's the pride of place? So it's up on a wall in a spare bedroom. We've got it in a framed glass case with, like, a poster behind it. And it's got a certificate of authenticity from True Blue or something. That's amazing, Danielle. What a great bit of merch.

Well, someone's texting saying, Kenny Rogers, that's right the gambler himself islands in the stream handed his tambourine to her

oh no way it's such an affordable instrument to hand out you're like oh yeah I can't give my guitar but have a $15 tambourine

it's from Kenny it's Kenny's own tambourine Kenny's hands are wrapped around that tambourine just play boy the stuff that tambourine's done. That's pretty cool. I don't think we'll beat it

but if you think you can 4487 on the text your best bit of merchandise that you own. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben

on Instagram. Now Jono, you went out and found a sponsor for the show. Well actually just for you on the show. Skinny,, just for you on the show. Skinny, here's how it all played out. Originally, you were like, what would you do if I won Lotto?

And I said, well, I would... Sponsor the show. Jono and Ben brought you by Ben. He's the coolest. Let's get a sponsor before Ben Boyce wins Lotto. Unorthodox approach. Phoning an opposition radio station. Jono and Ben on the hits.

Brought to you by More FM. That would be brilliant. The suits upstairs weren't entirely on board with that little partnership. But Ben Boyce... You've got a Ben on the hits. Brought to you by More FM. That would be brilliant. The suits upstairs weren't entirely on board with our little partnership. But Ben Boyce may have the show sponsored. The problem being is you're going to need to leave the room now. They only want to sponsor me. Really? And they don't want to sponsor Ben. If anyone's

got any ideas on how we break this news... Put it in a classified in the newspaper. What is this? Jono is sponsored by Skinny. I have been crossed out. My partner's Skinny. I have been crossed out. My partner's Skinny. Would love to do some giveaways. Something that I'm not allowed to take part in.

You can go mmm, but mmm. That was yesterday on the show. Well, I've had some feedback from the client. Too much mmm. What? Can I give Skinny a call? Ali, the big boss at Skinny. Hello.

I want to get involved. We're just going to sponsor Jono, sorry. We're a team. I should try and get you sponsored somehow. Skinny's colour is orange. You should be a challenge. They had to wear an orange clownfish costume, similar to Finding Nemo, for a week.

We've recorded an interview with someone who... Yes, I saw Ben Boyce, Saturday or Sunday. Were you wearing the clownfish costume? No. He wasn't! I knew it. That was me interviewing myself. What? Entrapment! You were meant. That was me interviewing myself. What? Entrapment.

You were meant to wear it for seven days. I'm calling for a public shaming. And yesterday we were at our left work. You were waiting for me outside in the most amazing car. Oh, listen, it's the corporate car that Skinny have lent to me. And it's the part of the perks, the benefits you get when you are sponsored, Ben boys. And it's a bright orange McLaren, high-end

sports car. It's the only thing more orange than Donald Trump on the face of the earth. It was just timely. I was just getting into the car. You were waiting there. I wasn't waiting there at all. You were waiting to film and record my reaction. You're waiting by this flash orange McLaren car.

So I'm waiting in this bright orange, obnoxious McLaren car. It's probably worth, I'd say, worth more than my life. This car deserves to be on this planet more than I do, and I'm just waiting for Ben to turn up. Here he comes. Hey, mate. Hey, mate. How are you?

What are you doing? I'm just hopping in my new car to go home after a hard... This is not your car. Eh? This is not your car. No, you're right. It's Skinny's company car that they're lending to me. Just for...

Oh, have they got this to me? Yeah, just for a few months as part of the partnership. You're right. Yeah, so I'm just going to go now. Okay. Bye Ben. Are you actually going to go? I can't hear you.

Okay, bye. No, I'm not going to go. I'm too scared to drive. I'm too scared to drive. I'm just going to sit here for the next 24 hours and obnoxiously accelerate. And I did. I did. I was too scared to even move the thing half a metre. So I slept in that car last night, and it's my new house.

If you want to see the video of Jono not driving that flash car, then you can head to that breakfast on Facebook and Instagram. And Skinny, they're all about keeping prices low and keeping their customers happy. That's why, Ben, it's not actually their car. I went to the trouble of borrowing the car of someone who owned it. Yeah. Okay, I see what you're saying. It's all a prank.

I knew it wasn't your car anyway. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. All right, time to play this. Synchronise odds is. It's like Ben and Ben on the Hits. Alright, time to think this. Synchronise answers. It's like Ben and myself are an iPhone and a Mac computer and we have to sync up our answers to steal a prize off you.

Yeah, 0800 the Hits, that's our phone number. If you want to win a prize right now, Reading Cinema's tickets are all yours, but we could take them off you. So this is how it works usually. Types of soft drink. Fanta. Oh, no.

Damn. What? It's been in myself leading to sing, it's gonna be me, because we're getting our NSYNC on. We get pretty excited when it happens. It doesn't happen all the time. It's quite hard to synchronise an answer.

So, Juliette, you're going to throw out the categories very shortly. I am. Producer Humphrey, let's go to the phones, because right now on 0800 The Hits, we have Ryan. How welcome. How are you? I think his name's Ry... I'm trying to read this name as Producer Humphrey's typing it out.

I think you're right. Riley. Rylanton. Here we go. Ryla. Ryla, there you go. How are you, Ryla? Oh, Rilla.

It's pronounced Rilla. Rilla. I thought that he didn't get it right. Hey, Rilla, well done. You've got the movie tickets. It's our job to steal them off you, okay? Oh, you won't steal them off me, though, will you, if you give them to me? No, no. This is the game. We steal them off you. Well, if we synchronise and answer, you just't steal them off me though, will you, if you give them to me? No, no, this is the game.

We steal them off you. Well, if we synchronise an answer, you just stay there. The tickets are yours. We've got three chances to synchronise an answer and steal them off you, okay? Oh, okay. Alright, hold there. Alright, name for me an Olympian. An Olympian. Oh, John Walker.

No. We play the game. You just have to sit there. You don't have to do anything. John Walker was a great Olympian. Shall we go another round? All right, name for me something you'd find at the beach. A shell.

All right, Rila. Rila's going to do it. I just need to play. Okay, and one more. All right, name for me,hyla's going to do it. I'll just let her play. Okay. And one more. All right. Name for me, Rhyla, a type of tea. A type of tea? Yeah.

Camembert. Oh, well done. Well done. Isn't it chamomile? Okay. Cheese? But hey, here's your cookies. Well done, Rhyla.

We've changed the rules of this game. The format has been thrown out the window. But that doesn't matter because it's early in the morning and we're just happy to be talking to you. I'm just glad someone called, to be honest. I wasn't sure someone was going to. Hey, well done. You're off to the movies.

Oh, wonderful. There you go. Reading cinemas is all yours. Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Alrighty, this is where we dive, deep dive into the topical events of the day.

It's really more of a shallow, just get our toes a little wet, isn't it? Then we move on with the program. But Ben Boyce, what's the news? Well, there's not a lot of sport on at the moment. But it feels like watching the press conference is a bit of a live sport. You tune in around the telly. You're like, what's going to happen here?

It's an amazing way you can create out of nothing, isn't it? Yeah. No, we were playing a game yesterday throwing bits of paper into a can. Not a bin, but like a Perspex can that we rolled up. Right. I was like, we definitely need to get out of this house. Lockdown has been extended in Auckland until 11.59 on Sunday. That was the news from the press conference yesterday.

And then all of New Zealand will be in level two as of Monday for a week. And from Monday, all people on public transport has to wear a mask. That's also compulsory. Well, you can tell Ashley was shady about what's gone, what shenanigans have gone on on that public bus because I don't think they've tracked everyone down who was on the bus. Don't know if the bus was cleaned after it finished its journey. It was stuck apparently in peak hour traffic for like two hours.

People just sitting there breathing in COVID-19. Oh, jeez. So I think he's a bit worried about that. Ashley Bloomfield, he's done a remarkable job. There's no denying that over the last few months. And brilliant pronunciation normally, but yesterday he said something that many people pointed out online

that I don't know if was correct. His brother had travelled to Hobbiton. Hobbiton. Hobbiton? Yeah. He may sound very sophisticated. I'm not saying it wrong. Abiton? Yeah. He's saying it right. Very sophisticated. I'll be saying it wrong.

A lot of people online saying it's like Cotton On, but Hobbiton. It's the wrong thing. I know the guy is perfect in every way and the only thing that we can take him down on

is him saying Hobbiton. And he's probably right to be honest. I've probably been saying Hobbiton wrong for more of these years. But David Seymour from the ACT Party,

he's not happy about the government. When is he ever happy about the government? It's kind of his job, but he came out with the best line yesterday. The Prime Minister refuses to blame anyone. Now she's blaming the trickiness of a virus. Well, no one's talked to me like that since I was at Horror Horror Kindy in 1987.

He's got some great zingers, doesn't he? I think he sits in his office, he must watch the press conference and just write one-liners. You can tell too, but there was only about five people at his press conference. He was like, that was a good one,

but no one, the media, they gave him nothing. He's like, you're in there laughing at Sydney and Ashley. Are you packing their house out every day at one o'clock? Give me some love. Well, we're giving him,

we're giving him hot fire content, kindergarten content right Well, we're giving him a hot fire content, kindergarten content right there. We're giving him a play now on the radio. And if you ever wondered if monkeys, the animal, could talk, well, Princeton University have said that monkeys possess the vocal ability to do clearly intelligible human-like speech, but they're actually lacking brain circuitry to make you put it together. But for some reason, they've come up with this.

If a monkey could talk, this is what it would sound like if it would say, will you marry me? Will you marry me? Oh, and that is romantic. Yes is the answer. You hot piece of arse. Will you marry me? Sounds like one of those people who smoke

cigarettes through their throat. The ones who have lung cancer, but they're so committed to smoking they'll just keep on jabbing them in their throat. So that's what a monkey would sound like if the animal could talk. Yeah, well that research was not pointless in any way. Sounds like Gollum from Hopiton, I think. And I look like him, so this is a well-rounded event. Like starting your day without your morning coffee.

It's Jono and Ben on my heads. The A to Z of New Zealand. We're calling a different town or place in New Zealand. We do it one a day. We do it alphabetically. It's going to take us a good couple of years to get around every town and city in New Zealand. It is the A to Z of New Zealand. And this is Fairhall's turn today.

Let's welcome Fairhall to the stage. 7.5 kilometres from Blenheim. Fairhall, do you get to Blenheim much, Ben Boyce? No. No, I used to a little bit when you'd go to Christchurch from the ferry. Go over to Picton through the ferry and then drive there, but no, not to me. Beautiful part of

the country, isn't it, around there? Can't go wrong. And I tell you what, Fairhall, famous for its wine growing, so you can wrap those beautiful lips of yours around a savvy any time of the day. Call it a day. Unless you operate heavy machinery or look after preschool children. Drinking sav at the same time is probably frowned

upon, but any other time you can put one in your mouth and slurp that bad boy down. Oh, thank you for that. We are going to, where are we going now? The golf course. Oh, that's right, the golf course. We're going to call in Fairhall right now. My old golf club, Saxon

speaking. Saxon. How are you? Saxon, it's Jono and Ben from The Hits, mate. How are you? Good, mate. We are phoning every town and city in Aotearoa. Fairhall is next on the list. Welcome to the show, Sax. How are we? Good to have you on.

I love your name. A friend of ours named their baby Sax. The didger. Great name. Imagine you've got a very strong handshake. You'd rip the arm off me, off a city slicker like myself. Absolutely. Absolutely.

You running some calluses on them hands, Sax? Yeah, I'm actually a professional golfer So I do, yes Oh, professional golfer So what does that mean? What's that? Well, I think he plays golf professionally Yeah

Correct Oh, really? So what's your best round? 69 at the moment Alright, and that's in a what? That's just on 18 holes Around my home course here That's pretty good How do I spell your name, Sax?

You say X-O-N. Saxon Golf, New Zealand. Let's have a look. Oh, Saxon Bulk. That's me. Oh, let's have a look at you on Facebook. I want to see who we're talking to here. A hole-in-one?

You ever got a hole-in-one? No, not yet. Close? Very close. Very close. I imagine many golfers will go their entire career and never get a hole-in-one, right? Absolutely. It's pretty tough. Oh, did you get and never get a hole in one, right? Absolutely. It's pretty tough.

Oh, did you get married? I did indeed. Oh, well done. Well done. You look very dapper in your wig. Let's look. I'm deep in Saxon's Facebook. There he is up there.

Oh, hey. Didn't he look fantastic? How was the wedding day? Yeah, it was pretty good. Pretty good. He's not going to say it was bad, is he? Yeah. I feel quite intrusive just flicking through your Facebook

while I'm talking to you. It feels a bit weird. A complete stranger. It feels a bit weird. Does it feel a bit weird? How deep do I go before it gets really weird? Oh, I don't know. By the way, I've been listening to you on the radio.

You guys' voice go pretty deep. Oh, nice. So are you trying to hit the You boys go pretty deep. Oh, nice. So are you trying to hit the big time? I'm trying to, yeah, absolutely. And so what are you like? We're phoning Fairhall. Do you live in Fairhall? I do at the moment, yeah.

I moved from Golden Bay about 18 months ago. Yeah, right. And Fairhall, lovely place. What's there to do there? Fantastic, mate. It's a great spot. Obviously, we've got all the wineries around the show. So we're going to do wine tasting tours,

play rounds of golf at six different courses we've got located around the place. A lot of fishing in the Marlborough towns. So what's the closest city to where you are? Blenheim. Well, we could be talking to the next Tiger Woods, minus the affairs. Yeah.

I would hope so, yeah. That would be incredible. So what do you have to do to make the cut now to the international level? You're the old Foxy, so old... Oh, like Ryan Foxy. Ryan Foxy, yeah. Yeah, sure. So I'm doing what they call a traineeship in my first year of that.

So basically you've got to play to a certain level, which is a 4.75 average handicap-wise, if you guys understand that or not. No, we'll pretend we do, though. We'll pretend we do. Sure, we've got to play to that. I've got a lot of modules and study that we do online. Because I imagine there'll be just hundreds of thousands of people trying to get on that tour.

Yeah, there is. There's quite a few. There's about 60-odd trainees over the three years that are part of the New Zealand PGA. Far out. Listen, Saxon, we have learnt nothing about Fairhall, but the main thing is we've learnt about you. You got married.

I tell you what, when you become rich and famous internationally, you'll remember this. I will indeed. Oh, you probably won't. No, you won't, Murray. No, let's be honest. Okay, so what we need to do is when you become famous,

we'll replay this audio, okay? Perfect. Is it okay? You'll give us permission to replay this? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, great. Remember what we spoke to him? We will dine out on this for years, Saxon.

I like it. I like it. All the best with your golfing career and lovely to talk to you. Thanks, boys. Hey, you guys have a good day. The A to Z of New Zealand will continue tomorrow with another tip. Not a morning person?

Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the heads. Spy. Know what's up? Spy.co.nz. Now, producer Juliet not only does a wonderful job of producing this show, but also a wonderful job of plagiarising gossip news from internet websites for Spy. Thank you very much.

So Usain Bolt has apparently, the Olympian, has apparently been tested positive for COVID-19 just a few days after his 34th birthday. But we don't know what's actually true here. So there were reports that came out that said that he had tested positive. But then it's also said that he's awaiting his test results. So we don't know if he is positive or not, but he's quarantining. He's doing all the right things, staying in his room. But he had a big 34th birthday party with a bunch of people.

So if he is positive, just a few days ago, if he is positive, then oops. Oh, no. I know. Now, a lot of talk at the moment about America, they're saying not doing a very good job of it. But I was actually reading last night the NBA because they're in that bubble all the players are living in the bubble in Disney World

so they have to test themselves every day they have to take the temperature when they get up and then they get COVID tested every single day You've got to stick up your nose every day

Basically every day they get tested by medical people and then they've got little lanyards that they walk around with and if they go within a couple of feet with someone it kind of beep beep beep

Really? And it records who they've kind of been in close contact with around the bubble. I thought that's a pretty cool little thing. But then it's redundant when they're on the court playing. Well, yeah, but as well, yeah, but that's just to say outside of that, you know,

obviously they're no one in the game, but outside of that, if they go, oh, who do they have contact with around the campus? Outside of the game, they go, oh, yeah, they just check their little lanyards. Although I'd love to see a game of basketball where they have to stay two metres apart. Like just a safe, social distance game of basketball.

Just be like, oh, oh, oh. No one's defending at all. It'd be great. No. Well, that's exciting for Usain Bolt. No, not exciting. That's the wrong word. What's the word?

You used completely the wrong word there. Well, it's definitely not exciting. Yeah, whatever the opposite of it. Worrying? Worrying. Worrying. Yeah, the opposite. No worries. Sometimes I just say words. Yeah, it's definitely not a good start. Whatever the opposite. Worrying? Yeah, worrying. The opposite. No worries.

Sometimes I just say words. Yeah, it's the wrong one. And Melania Trump has been caught on tape dissing Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka. So in a strange, it's almost like

the Monica Lewinsky scandal all over again, getting caught on tape dissing. No, it's nothing like the Monica. What was she doing? Was she doing anything

that was shocking? No, no, no. I'm going to stop. Hang it over to me. What was she doing? Was she doing anything? No, no, no. Hang on. Hold on. Was she doing anything close to what Monica was doing? No. No, well, there's nothing like the Monica Winske scandal. The process of recording tapes is the similar thing. Is she excited, though?

Is she excited about this? Yeah, yeah. It's all Johnna wants to know. So, an estranged friend of hers is going to be releasing a book with all of the details and what she said in the recordings, dissing Donald and Ivanka. So your friend secretly recorded it? Yeah.

But that's exactly what happened to Monica also. Well, I have suspicions that we're being secretly recorded right now. Sometimes I wish it wasn't recorded and played out on the radio. For more, you can head out on the radio. Yeah. For more,

you can head to thehits.co.nz. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook. Why's today

going to be a good day? We'd love to hear from you. A feeling. Bringing some positivity around the country because right now we need it. You know,

there's a lot of horrible things going on, right? There are horrible things going on and you you just call us up 0800 THE HITS with why is today going to be a good day for you,

as big as small as you want. We like to end the show on a happy note. At 6am, we start in a very bleak, dark place and I'd like to apologise

to all the 6amers, the stuff you hear. I'm sorry, it's a journey. It's a journey to get to this happy stage in the morning. Now,

I'd like to throw one out there. I learnt today, do we still have the monkey audio around? Now, if monkeys could talk, there's a study that this is apparently what monkeys would sound like if a monkey said, will you marry me? Will you marry me?

Sort of like a terrifying character from a Scream movie. Yeah. Will you marry me? Will you marry me? And it sounds quite threatening, like as if I've got no choice. So I'll say I do. Yeah, so there you go. That's what I learned today today and I'm pleased.

I'll take that away with me. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you start having positive results, Ben. That's what I've always said. Right, Oprah. Winning doesn't always mean being first. Winning means you're doing better than you've done before. Again, that's what I've always said.

And you're never too old to set another goal or a new dream. Okay, other cliches and quips like that. 4, 4, 8, 7, why is today going to be a good day for you? And you're never too old to set another goal or a new dream. Other cliches and quips like that. 4487, why is today going to be a good day for you? We'd love to hear from you before we finish up at 9 o'clock this morning. Let's kick Tuesday up the shunter. Here we go, Tanya. Welcome to the show.

How are you? I'm good, thank you. How's Gawp? You're from Gawp? Yes, correct, yes. Little old Gawp. Yeah, why is it going to be a good day for you, T-Dog? Well, I've just taken my daughter to school and I'm on holiday.

Yeah, you are, Tanya. Don't have to go to work. What are you going to do today? I'm not sure. I might go out for lunch, I think. Oh, very nice. You, Tanya. Would you enjoy the day in gore?

I've got my husband home. He's had his eye surgery done, so he's got no work, so we might go out for lunch. Oh, you might. I thought you were going to leave him at home and go out for lunch. I think that's a good idea. I might leave him at home. That sounds like a good plan. He can see clearly now, and he can see how beautiful his wife is.

He can, yeah. He can't believe how well he can see. He didn't realise how expensive things were at the grocery shop. We've got a double pass to Reading Cinema's coming your way. You enjoy your day off. Okay, thank you very much. Go on, Tanya. Let's go to Golden Bay, shall we, Ben? Why not? That's New Zealand's breakfast. We go all over the country. Holly, you're on the air. Why

is it going to be a good day for you? I'm just off to work, which sounds probably kind of weird, but I got a job just after lockdown and I'm very, very grateful for it. I'm working with amazing people. It's not like an incredibly high-powered job, but it's just one that, you know, the way things are in the world at the moment,

it's just great to get a job. Oh, that is a beautiful attitude. As long as it's rewarding for you and it's what you want to do, that's great. Yeah. Well, both of us are in non-high-powered jobs, so we can relate to you, Holly. You look after yourself, and good on you for appreciating that. A double pass to Reading Cinema's coming your way. We'll be back tomorrow on the show.

You can catch up with us on the podcast. Chloe Swarbrick, our MP, joins us on the show. We'll catch you tomorrow from SAC. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from SAC on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and oh no no no no. Just Jono on the hits breakfast brought to you by Skinny.