Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - August 27 - Reception Reception, Braison Cyrus, Ben Offended His Wife Amanda

Episode Date: August 27, 2020

Our favourite game is BAAAAAAACK! Reception Reception! Jono left a message for Ben at a random reception, and Ben had to retrieve it, with no idea what that message is. Today, Jono pretended to be a signwriter, and Ben is a local MP. But what exactly does Ben want on his signs? We also issued a challenge to our Producer Humphrey to try and get a sibling of a star on the show. Yeah, because the siblings are so overlooked! And MY GOLLY HE DELIVERED. Happy Thursdeeeee!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jono and Ben, new to your mornings. Friends of Skinny, New Zealand's most recommended telco. Happy, happy, happy, oh, oh. Just when you thought you couldn't get enough of Jono and Ben, you can have them anywhere, anytime. Welcome to the Jono and Ben podcast. Welcome to the podcast. There's actually been quite an interesting conversation

just before we started recording this with producer Humphrey. Would you like to hear what he has to say? No. Ben, no, okay. No, so enjoy the podcast. No, yeah, I'dphrey. Would you like to hear what he has to say? No. Ben, no? Okay. No, so enjoy the podcast. No, yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to. Savage Ben's great.

Savage Ben needs to come out a bit more often. Yeah, this is like Alan DeGeneres. He's got this love of all kind. Oh, everyone's got to win nature and publicly, but behind the scenes. He doesn't want to hear what Producer Humphrey's got to say. No, I'd love to hear. You tell me.

Come on in, Producer Humphrey. Producer Humphrey's got to say. No, I'd love to hear. You tell me. Come on in, Producer Humphrey. Producer Humphrey comes from a fairly rural background. Yeah. We brought you all the way in here to the studio to say we don't want to hear what you've got to say.

Ben doesn't want to hear what you've got to say, okay? Sorry, I haven't even tuned your mic on. Jono doesn't want to hear you either. He hasn't got your mic on. What did you want to say, Humphrey, sir?

Well, he walked out when I was telling the story. As soon as he starts talking. He just wants to confirm that he doesn't want to hear what you've got to say. That's fine. No drama. I'd love to. I'd love you to starts talking. He just wants to confirm that he doesn't want to hear what you've got to say. That's fine. No drama.

I'd love to. I'd love you to tell us. So one of the things about farming, Producer Humphrey was saying is, and you don't appreciate the skill of farmers and stock agents who can count sheep. They can count sheep, thousands of sheep at a time. It's impressive. Like when you have a mob of sheep running past and you've got to count them as they're loading onto the truck. Oh, yeah.

How the hell do you do that? You don't want to miscount anything because otherwise you'll be short in the pocket. Well my dad actually told me when he was counting sheep he would count in sevens

so he wouldn't count one sheep he would count seven and that would be one sheep. Oh wow really? And so it was just a way of dealing with big numbers and so he was very good

at his seven times tables. Shout out to all the farmers counting sheep. Some of them do thousands at a time, right? Yeah, that's an impressive... Because they all look the same too, obviously. I don't have to point that out. You wouldn't be like, oh, I've counted that one.

You'd be like, they run around. They're not necessarily in the same order. Yeah, and obviously counting sheep is prone to putting people to sleep. Sleep, yeah, so that's the other thing. You can't sleep on the job. Fighting against the odds, these farmers. I remember talking to Sir Matt Butcher, Sir Peter Leitch, and he was saying

that one of his jobs when he was Warriors manager was to count the Warriors players on the bus in the morning. And he said that the Warriors players would just start going 4, 27, 16.

And he's dyslexic as well, so he would have been like, shut up, mate. He's like, I don't want to miss a player because the coach would not be happy if you miss a player

and you turn up to the game. You're like, oh, what happened to old Stacey Jones? You're like, oh, what happened to old Stacey Jones? You're like, oh, he's not on the bus. Why can't we just rely on the players to turn up on the bus all the time? Oh, yeah, I guess. Surely they're grown adults.

Why do they have to have poor old Peter Leach counting them? Have you read the NRL headlines? The Warriors are not too – the Warriors are good. They're one of the good teams. Yeah, they're fine. The rest of them need to be locked up in a bubble for the remainder of life. Keep them on the bus. Well, enjoy the podcast today.

What's on the podcast? Well, Ben Boyce, reception, reception. You're on the end of another workplace bullying episode where our phone receptions leave a message for Ben and he has to call and retrieve them. Very funny lady today, Leela, wasn't she? Yeah, she was great. As well as that, we issued producer Humphrey a challenge

to track down the biggest sibling to a star, the most famous sibling to a star that we could find. While counting sheep. Yeah, and you came through, Producer Humphrey, with an amazing get. You'll know this family really well, and this person joined us on the podcast. The radio version of Morning Breath. It's Jono and Ben on the hits.

Just after 8 o'clock on a Thursday, and that means reception. Reception is back, Jono. Yeah, we phone. after 8 o'clock on a Thursday And that means reception Reception is back Jono Yeah we phone Well I phone a reception around New Zealand Leave a message for Ben Boyce He's out of the room when this happens And he comes and retrieves the message Hopefully from that receptionist

Tell you what we have harassed More receptionists than people parking In their not allocated car parks Downstairs in the work garage You're right All receptionists always have to send out emails for that, right? Registration's SQ8982. Can you please move?

You're about to be towed from Derek's car park. It must be a stressful bane on their poor receptionist's existence. Yeah, well, we give them one more stressful bane, and that's Jono calling up. So I'm going off to the soundproof booth. Jono's going to make a call to a random reception around New Zealand right now. All right, you head off, Ben,

and we're going to head through to Tauranga this week. Good morning. Leela speaking. Oh, hey, Leela. How are you? I'm very good, thank you. And you?

Yeah, do you. You having a lovely day? Always. Oh, good on you. Listen, my name's Bill Board. I just work for the local sign writing company. How are you? Not bad at all.

Awesome, Leela. I'm just working for a local MP. I don't know if you've heard of him, Benjamin Boyce. No. He's running for Parliament this election. Just done some sign writing work for him for his election hoardings, and I tried to get a hold of him, but unfortunately his office line is down.

He's just asked me to leave a message with you. Oh, okay. Yeah, no. So I've just done some signs for him and I just wanted to double check what he wanted on them. So if you were able to please note down this and he will call you and just get the message off you.

Okay. But his lines are down. So Leela, he is wanting to make it legal for coffee to be served to children in primary schools. We don't want coffee in primary schools. Why don't you want coffee in primary school. Why don't you want coffee in primary schools? Because coffee's not good for children. Oh, but if they have three or four cups a day, they're more productive? No, I don't think so.

I don't know. Have you got children in your life, Leela? I do. Yeah, so wouldn't they get... I even got grandchildren. You got grandchildren. Well, wouldn't your grandchildren achieve so much more in a 24-hour period if they were fuelled by caffeine? No.

Okay. Well, anyway, could you just note down, I don't know what he wanted on the billboard, whether he wants it legal for three cups a day or four cups a day? Do you want me to, you want to know from him for the signs that you're making? Yeah. If it's three or four cups of coffee to make it legal for, and the government's going to subsidise the schools?

Yeah, coffee. For school children? Yeah, coffee for kids. Coffee for kids, okay. Yeah. And then he's also, because he sent me an email with what he wanted written on the billboard.

And it says, vote for me this erection. Now, I didn't know if that was a typo. What did you say? You just said that, Repeat that? On his email to me, he's like, can you please put, vote for me this election? Now, I don't know if he's meant to say election there. Okay. I don't know. Do you think that's a typo? I wouldn't be putting that on the board. Okay.

So, yeah. I mean, I can easily fix that. That's easily erectified, if I could use the term. Okay. I can fix that for him. And finally, just his slogans. He's got one saying, Vote for me, I'll live longer than Winston.

Longer than Winston, yeah? Yeah. I promise if I get into Parliament, I will have an extramarital affair. I promise if I can get into Parliament. Oh, God, I will have... An extramarital affair. Extramarital affair. Yeah.

Yeah. Extra marital affair. Yeah. Yeah. So, Leela, that's... Sorry. Yeah, okay. So, Leela, that's the message. If Benjamin Boyce calls, it would be you. It would be an absolute superstar if you could just pass that on to him. I thank you so much for your time, Leela. You're welcome.

Bye. So that was the message that was passed on to him. I thank you so much for your time, Leela. You're welcome. Bye. So that was the message that was passed on to the wonderful Leela. We're going to bring Ben back in from the soundproof booth. Come in, bud. How are you? Thank you. It's great to be back in. How was the soundproof booth today?

What did you think of it? All your favourite things? Hummus and celery sticks? All my favourite things. So what's today's scenario? What are you bullying of it? All your favourite things? Hummus and celery sticks? All my favourite things. So what's today's scenario? What are you bullying me about today? It's like that show Whose Line Is It Anyway where you go to improv.

You're like, what's my character? Yeah, so your name is Benjamin Boyce. You're a local MP running in Tauranga, which is Simon Bridges' territory. So you're running against Simon, local MP. And Leela is the wonderful receptionist who will hopefully pass on the message. A message left for you by your sign writer

who's putting up your election hoardings. Just wanted to clarify some of the statements and some of the facts and figures on the hoardings. Leela speaking. Hi, Leela speaking. Oh, hi, Leela. It's Benjamin Boyce calling, MP, local MP. I would say. Hey, how's it going?

Okay. Okay, sorry, a bit of a strange one, but my sign writer has told me that I need to phone you for a message. My phone's down and apparently I... Yeah, he did ring me. Yeah, and it's to do with the coffee, legalised coffee in junior's primary schools. Legalised coffee in junior's primary schools. Oh. Yeah.

Kids need a full cost a day or something? Kids need a full cost a day. Oh, that's one of our policies. I don't know if I should put that up on the hoardings. What's your thoughts, Leila? Should I put those up? I wouldn't be putting that on the board. Okay. You don't think it's going to get me any votes?

No, definitely not Definitely not any votes I thought it was different You know, you want to stand out You want to stand out You don't think it stands out? You know, like you go along You're like, oh, Labour

They're doing this National are doing this Well, Benjamin Boyce He's bringing You're going to have a riot on your hands If you do that. Okay, so maybe not that one. Have you seen Angry Mums?

Angry Mums. Okay, that one's off. Okay, that's off. That's off. Okay. Any other ones? He wanted you to correct an email you sent to him. Yeah.

Email, yeah. Because you said, vote me. Should it be election or erection? He wants to know. Okay, okay. No, that was a typo. That was a typo. I would say so. Oh, God. That was definitely a typo. I'm glad he pulled me up on that one. That would have been quite embarrassing.

And then the other one, for me, I live longer than Winston. Longer than Winston. Yeah, that one's really getting in at Winston. I thought I'd hit him where it hurts. The other one says, I promise if I can get into Parliament. Oh, God.

I promise if I get into Parliament, I will have extra marital affairs. Okay, yeah. The campaign promise? Right, yeah. What do you think of that one or the campaign promise? Well, who in government doesn't these days? Oh, Leela.

Leela, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. That's who's actually calling. Jono leaves a random message for me at a random reception somewhere. I didn't know what the message was. I had to call up and see if he'd give it back to me. And you're an amazing, amazing person for passing that on. Leela. I keep listening to you every morning.

Oh, do you? Oh, Leela, you suspected nothing. Oh, Leela. Oh, you're such a good sport. This is your new breakfast. Health Star rating, still pending. It's Joro and Mano Mahets. From the same womb as someone famous,

it's Siblings of the Stars. Now, this is a new part to the programme that we want to spring on producer Humphrey. Now, Ben Boyce, we've been planning this behind Ben Humphrey's back and welcome. Welcome Humphrey. Yeah, thank you. I'm a bit nervous to be honest. What's going on?

Ben, you can explain the formatics of Siblings to the Stars to Humphrey. Well, we wanted to issue you a challenge, producer Ben, that before 9 o'clock, before we finish today, we want to see if you can get someone who is a sibling of a famous person on the show.

Today. All right? Today. Well, not just today. Within an hour. You've got 60 minutes, okay? This might seem like a lot of unnecessary stress on an already frantic producing regime.

But we feel you're up for it. And you know why I know you're up for it, Ben Humphrey? Because I hear you uncontrollably sobbing tears of joy in Cubicle 3 in the toilets every day after the show. And I know he's happy when he's crying those tears of joy. So let me just clarify. What sort of

step of celebrity are we looking for? Are we looking for a D list, NZ? No, we want an A-list. We want to go big. We want to go international. A brother or a sister from an international star. Easy.

It's not the star. We're not saying get the star. We're saying get the brother or the sister of the star. Okay. All right. Well, I'll take the challenge on, but 9 o'clock. Well, you can go. Okay, before you start, go to your favourite cubicle in the toilet.

Do what you need to do there. And then pull yourself together and then get on to the task. All right. So have you guys got any contacts? I've got no contacts. No, no. We thought we'd just love this all. This is all on you, mate.

Okay, well, if anyone can actually help, 0800, that hits the telephone number, 4487. Do you know a sibling to a star? Do you work with someone? Did you go to school with someone that has a famous brother or sister? Would love you to help. Ben Huffrey, because he's looking quite anxious right now. Please text me, 4487 or 0800 the hits. Give us a bell.

I had a text through here from a Sharon Weinstein. I don't know. No? No. No, I don't know. No. No. No. No. You don't want to go. No.

All right. Brian Cosby. No. No. No. Stop. Stop talking now. No.

No. These are coming through on the text. I'm just throwing them out there. No, they're not. They're not at all. I'm just wondering if you want me to pursue them or not. No. No.

No. No. Let's go to Delwyn. Welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast, Delwyn. How are you? Hi, good. Good, thank you. Now, you know a sibling to the stars.

I know of a sibling to a star. Even better. You've heard of someone. You've never met them, but you've heard they exist. Well, I have met him, but in my younger years and haven't really had a lot to do with him, like around this time. Okay. Yeah.

Okay, so listen, you're going to be no use to us whatsoever, but I love that you phoned through. Who is it? Who is it? I was Lee Hart's brother, Greg. Oh, Greg Hart. Brother to Lee Hart. Broadcaster, TV host.

Very funny guy, yeah. Yeah. And I also know, well, I know the actor, but yeah, he does have a brother and that is Damo, a.k.a. Grant Lobin. Oh, Grant Lobin on Shoreland Street. Who's Damo? Yes. Do you know him or his brother? I know him.

Oh, you know him firsthand. Wow. Gee, you're mixing in high circles, Delwyn. I went to high school with him. Oh, there we go. Look at you. Gee whiz, I'm just happy that I know you. Who knows them? You go look after yourself, Delwyn.

Thank you very much. Claudia joins us on 0800 The Hits. So welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Do you know a sibling to the stars, Claude? Indeed. I know Lorde's younger sister, Indy. Ooh. Oh, she's also a singer as well, too, right? Yeah, I know Lorde's younger sister, Indy. Ooh. Oh, she's also a singer as well too, right?

Yeah, I believe so. That's pretty cool. That's awesome. All right, so our options are Brian Cosby, Sharon Weinstein. No, no. Lorde's sister. Those are not options. Those are not options.

We've actually got, thank you so much, Claudia, we've got a sibling to an actual star on the phone, Ben. Oh, really? PJ Dagg, Izzy Dagg's brother's call through. Welcome to the show, PJ. I think producer Humphrey's still chatting to him.

I gave him such a big intro. And now we've got nothing. Now we have to pretend that PJ Dagg was there. We've got him talking to our producer off air. That's what we've got. That's an amazing moment. To be fair, we have issued Humphrey a challenge, so he's probably running in quite a highly stressed environment right now.

PJ, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Good morning. Oh, my God. Thank you for calling through. All good, all good. I listen to you fellas a lot, man. You make me laugh. It's a pity you finished work at nine o'clock though, guys.

Oh, well, listen, we run a very casual working regime. We do. We like to be home by quarter past nine after a hard day's three hours work. So I must say that the hits does keep me tuned because I'm too lazy to change the station after that. Oh, that's lovely, PJ. Hey, what is he like as a brother? Oh, he's a legend. He seems like such a lovely guy.

I've never met him personally, but he seems like such a cool dude. Yeah, he is. He's a legend. And did you play rugby? Yeah, I did. But a few wrong life choices and poor discipline steered me down the other path, I think. Me too, mate.

Me too. That's how I ended up here working with Ben. Oh, well, lovely to talk to you, and thank you so much for calling up. Yeah, no, all good. Hey, thanks for listening, PJ. Lovely to meet you, mate. Yeah, sweet.

Enjoy your guys' last hour of work, and I'll get through another eight. See you, PJ. Oh, burn, good burn, good burn. But fair enough Well listen Producer Humphrey Well done You've already got PJ Dagg

On the phone Israel Dagg's brother There we go In the bag by 3740 Oh listen In the dag In the dag It's in the dag

But he has a look He has a glint in his eye He still wants to keep pursuing He's got to 8.30 To get his many Siblings to stars on Oh there's many now. So we've got to go more.

More. Yeah, more. Keep them coming, baby. Some people skip breakfast, the meal, and also this show. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. From the same room as someone famous, it's Siblings of the Stars. That's right. He had to track them down, didn't he, Ben?

A very stressful 60 minutes. Yeah, yeah. And he tracked down another Cyrus, which is pretty cool. You just heard Miley Cyrus there. Dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, very famous as well. This is his old school hit, Achy Breaky Heart. Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart. I just don't think you'd understand.

I also had a smash hit last year with Old Town Road as well too, right? Now another big part of the family is son of Billy Ray Cyrus, brother to Miley Cyrus, Brazen Cyrus. He's a recording artist in his own right. You can check him out at brazensiris.com. He's got a new single out at the moment called Glass Between Us. Have a listen. And I'm looking at the computer screen,

and I can see Brazen Cyrus' iPhone pop up. Do we admit him to our Zoom meeting? I think so. Absolutely. Siblings to the stars, Brazen Cyrus. Hey, can you guys hear me? I can hear you. Can you hear us? Yeah, I hear you guys good. How's to the stars, Brazen Cyrus. Hey, can you guys hear me? I can hear you. Can you hear us?

Yeah, I hear you guys good. How's it going? Where the hell are you? You're in the middle of a forest. You know what? I'm actually at the studio. My studio's in the middle of the forest. Hey there.

How's it going? This is Ben. My name's Jono. Lovely to meet you, Brazen. Can you all hear me all right? Yeah, we can. It's really nice to talk to you today. We really appreciate your time.

Yeah, man. Thanks for making time for me. I appreciate it i appreciate you guys now you're a handsome man you're a handsome man brazen i'll give it i'll give you that thank you you're the last person to tell me that since my wife she feels the need to remind me every morning yeah i've been growing out the quarantine beard so uh looking at your uh looking at your hair ben uh ben looked at you when you were a kid uh and you had probably the most magnificent mullet I think I've ever seen on anybody. Oh, man.

Yeah, dude, that's my dad's pride and joy right there. But why anybody would let me leave the house like that is beyond me. Is this good parenting, letting me have this mullet? My mom got to pick the name and my dad got to pick the hair. That's the rule of the house. Now, was this at the time where Billy Ray had his mullet as well? So there was a father-son mullet combo going on? The heyday.

Yeah, my older brother, Trace, he had it too. So we were matching, yeah. I like to think that mine was a little bit more glorious. Well, growing up in a household with very talented family members like your dad, like your sister, like yourself, was there pressure to get into singing and entertaining or did your parents let you do what you wanted to do? You know, I didn't feel any pressure.

I was pressured to grow the mullet. But other than that, there was no pressure. I went to school. I tried all kinds of different things. I played basketball in high school. I went to school. I tried all kinds of different things. I played basketball in high school. I went to film school after high school. Music was probably the last thing I wanted to do. Country music, you know, the only country people I know

are Chris Christopherson and Willie Nelson. Right, and you must have been like, if I hear Don't Break My Heart, my achy, achy heart one more time, I'm going to go crazy. Hey, man, you know, that was a huge part of my childhood. I can't hate it too much. I don't think I hate that as much as he hates it. That song put us through college.

If any of us went, then yeah. Your dad, obviously, a singer. Your sister, a singer. But I read online someone said you've got the best voice of them all. I wrote that. You wrote that? Oh, you're right. Actually, that was you.

No, no, it was a few people agreeing with that. So that must be a great compliment. I appreciate whoever wrote it because it definitely wasn't me. But, yeah, I started playing guitar. And actually, I started playing drums when I was a little, little, little kid. And, you know, I just always kind of did it for fun. I never really thought I was going to, you know, make music a career. I thought the world had probably had enough of us at that point.

No, because, I mean, your family is just probably the most famous family in America. I don't know. I haven't done the research on that. I'm just going to go there and say it. The Kardashians might add to it. No, we'll put the Kardashians in second. I don't know. I haven't done the research on that. I'm just going to go there and say it. The Kardashians might add to it. No, we'll put the Kardashians in second. You guys are first. When you all go out for a family dinner at, let's just say, Denny's,

I imagine, who gets pestered the most? Is it yourself? Is it Miley? Is it your dad? Is it your brother? Denny's is breakfast and McDonald's is dinner. Oh, McDonald's. But we, you know, none know none of we don't ever we fought like

cats and dogs as kids but uh lately we keep it pretty civil i think since we don't see each other all too much i think uh whenever we're hanging out we're just happy to to be around one another and you know make our parents happy we don't we made our parents lives hell for about uh 18 years of each of our lives so now whenever whenever we get together, we try to keep it civil. Oh, you guys shocking kids, were you? Yeah. You got a close bond with your sister, Miley, though. You guys got matching tattoos?

I was just reading. Me and Miley, she has a tattoo for me and I have a tattoo. We don't have a matching one yet. I have it. You guys could probably see it here on the video. I have her initials. She actually did that to me. Really?. I have her initials. She actually did that to me. Really?

I have her initials right here on the side of my hand. And then she has I think my initials somewhere, but she also has a necklace that I've worn probably for the last 10 years. She has that tattooed on her as well. You guys, your family's very close with Dolly

Parson, right? That's what I've heard. That's what you heard. So they tell me. So they tell me. I heard a rumor that Dolly Parton has a full back tattoo or full sleeve tattoos and back tattoos, but she does a great job of covering up.

Can you confirm or deny, Brazen? I'll leave that up to her whenever she wants to reveal that. Awesome, mate. Listen up. Fantastic catching up with you, buddy. Really is. And well done on having the best backdrop we've ever had in a Zoom call.

A wonderful forest. Check it out. Good luck with your recording. If you want to check out, as I said before, Brazen Cyrus.com. He's got a new song out right now called Glass Between Us. Plenty more music on the way as well. It's been really nice catching up with you. We really appreciate it.

Hey, good talking to you guys. Take care. Talk to you guys soon. Oh, how cool was that? What a great dude. Brazen Cyrus there. Brother to Miley, son of Billy Ray Cyrus, a recording artist in his own right. Well done by producer Humphreys.

Well done. Siblings to the stars. You can retire now, producer Humphrey. Oh no, don't. Back again tomorrow. Yeah, back again tomorrow. We need you back tomorrow actually. Don't go anywhere. Oh, and siblings to the stars back again tomorrow. We'll back again tomorrow. We need you back tomorrow, actually. Don't go anywhere. All right, and some of these are the stars. Back again tomorrow. We'll give Ben 24 hours this time. How's that sound, Ben?

Wake up and smell them. Actually, no, please don't smell them. That's odd. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, this morning, Jono, I'm broadcasting out of home, obnoxiously waking up my family with a loud radio voice in the lounge. How are your family this morning? Are they happy?

They're going all right. They got an early wake up call from me talking at 6 o'clock this morning. It's going to be a fine day out there. 6.23 Thursday. Thursday. All they keep hearing is the day repeated over and over again. And real time time checks. They've got nowhere to be because they're in lockdown right now. But they've got

time checks every five minutes. But I put this on the sheet yesterday not knowing I was going to be working from home. I was wanting to talk about a little grievance I have to do with my partner, Amanda. And it feels quite weird. I'm not in a radio studio and she's sitting like five to seven metres away from me.

Just eyeballing you. Yeah. I don't know how confident I am in this one now. Bring her into the show. Let's hear this marital discussion live on the radio. Okay. So recently, you know, during lockdown, I've been trying to get my Gordon Ramsay on,

my Jamie Oliver on, trying to cook some delicious meals for the family. Making, you know, making things like a fish panang curry the other night, you know, chicken pasta. I'm making it. I'm tasting it. I'm, you know, putting my best meal on the plate for the family.

It's like you've eaten Elle Brown and you've got Elle Brown inside of you, cooking away. But the thing that's starting to irk me, and I don't know if this is something I should get irked at, is before Amanda has even tasted it, she is grabbing salt, she's grabbing

pepper, and she's putting it all over this meal. What's that say? I'm right here. She's right here. That's why I said you're right here. I did say that. Can we all just confirm Amanda is right there? Amanda, you're right here? I am.

She's right there. Okay. Okay. It was just putting salt and pepper all over the meal before even tasting it. I'm like, should I be offended by this? Or should this be like, oh, people like salt and pepper. They want to put this on the meal? That's fine, but I just get a little bit annoyed

that it's been put on before it has been tasted. Amanda, yours please. But you don't add any condiments or any type of flavouring to the meal during the cooking process. Look, I'm tasting it. Look, Jono, I'm not going to talk to her. Thank you, Amanda. Thank you for your time.

When I know you cook, Ben, you like to provide a taste explosion of flavours in my mouth. Don't you? The amount of times you've provided explosions in my mouth with flavours. And I can vouch you make a tasty meal. The only thing that should be apologising or hurting is Amanda should be apologising to her arteries for this high cholesterol diet she's running.

Pouring salt over every meal. I understand people like salt and pepper on the meal. I understand that. But just before you taste it, I'm like, oh, you haven't even tried this and you're already putting salt and pepper on it. That's my issue. That's my issue and I regret bringing

this up right now, especially being in the house. What I reckon we should do is we should follow this incident in real time. Will Ben still be living in the house by nine o'clock this morning? Will he have to move out? Will Amanda take the kids to her mum's? I don't know. The tension and suspense

is killing me. We will keep you updated, New Zealand. Yeah. Guys, you win some and you lose some in this game and I'm losing this one, guys. She's currently packing her bags.

She's packing her bags now, guys. We'll keep you up to date. I'd say it, you know, in the comfort of the studio and think, ah, she won't be listening. Right now,

she's definitely listening right here. This is, yeah, this is awkward. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Facebook.

Thank you for joining us for New Zealand's Breakfast. We love having you here. Now, I was after work yesterday, Ben. I've really got a fumbly way of getting into this. I've said a lot of words and none of them have made any sense so far. Now you're talking about the words you've been saying. Anyway, now I'm talking. Just get into it, Brian.

It's quite a skill to just say words that don't mean anything. But anyway, Jen, my wife, she was like, to it prior. Yeah. It's quite a skill to just say words that don't mean anything but anyway. Jen, my wife, she was like, oh, can you pick me up some deodorant on the way home? So I was like,

yeah, of course. This seems like a wonderful thing to do. So I picked her up the deodorant and it was... Hey, mate. It does seem like

a wonderful thing to do. Romantic. Doesn't it? It seems like something a husband would do for his wife. Yeah, wonderful.

Pick up some deodorant. Yeah, pick up some things. But I got her the de Yeah, wonderful, wonderful. Pick up some deodorant. Yeah, pick up some things. But I got into the deodorant, and it was this stress-free deodorant. Now, I've never been highly stressed and sprayed my armpits and then felt instant relief from my stress. But this deodorant claims that it relieves stress. And if I could read directly from the can, our balmy blue enchantress greets your skin with cool serenity,

melting a touch of fluid potion that envelopes you in the most decadent calm. It eases feet. I'm still going. You said a lot of words. You said a lot of words before. Now they're saying a lot of words. This is just something that stops you from smelling like B.O.

Now it's this whole other thing where it eases your stress a hell of a claim and then I go home and then she's like, oh, can you put some washing in? And I'm like, well, that seems like a nice thing to do. It does. What a nice thing to do. What a great guy you are. It seems like a husband would do for his wife. Was she less stressed

after putting on the deodorant? No, more wound up for some reason. Now the washing. The washing's got to be done. Elevated the stress. And then Nappy Sand made an outrageous claim that it gets rid of 97 stains. 97 different stains.

I couldn't even think of 97 different stains. They've definitely made up 43 of them, haven't they? It's funny she'd bring that up because I think I was telling you guys a while ago that we didn't have normal TV for the first few years of my daughter Sienna's life. We just watched Netflix and TV on demand. And then we finally got normal TV and she could see ads. So Sienna's actually with me right now. Do you remember, Sienna?

We went to the supermarket. You were about four years old. And after seeing ads on TV, which obviously blew her mind, and she came up to me, she's like, Dad, Dad, we need to get something. I'm like, oh, this will be chocolate, this will be candy. Do you remember what you asked for? We need to get Vanish Gold stain remover. It removes over 100 stains. 100 stains. Oh, they're over 100 stains. They're beating Nappy Sand by about seven stains.

Well, that's right. I remember that. She was like, damn, we've got to get this. I'm like, okay, you're four-year-old. I'll put this in. 100 stains. So there you go. They've got three more stains on there.

Okay, well, listen, I think we need to help Nappy Sand out and come up with a dozen more stains. We'll create some new stains today. That's what I'll do after work, okay, Ben? Okay. Yeah, no, Ben? Okay. Yeah, no, I was going to try and get a cure for COVID-19, but I think I'll focus on finding Napu San 12 more stains. Oh, they might be able to get rid of this radio show.

That could be one. That's an option for them. This is a stain upon broadcasting. Making poor life decisions every morning. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now, it's been kind of awkward around the show. Jono's been the only one sponsored by Skinny

over the past couple of weeks but apparently there's some news to pass on to me. Ben, the moment has come. I can't actually see you right now.

No, there's a lot of orange in the studio. Yeah, I've decorated the studio in orange. This is a pivotal moment. It's a celebratory moment. I mean, it's a celebratory moment whether you

are brought into our partnership or whether you're left out of it, because regardless, I remain sponsored, so it's time for celebration. There's about 30 orange balloons. There's a whole lot of orange streamers everywhere. The place is covered in orange, and I'm guessing this is a big announcement. There it is.

And so I'd like to bring in my wonderful partner, Ali. My partner, Ali. Sponsorship partner, Ali. My partner, Ali. Hello. Sponsorship partner, Ali. And Ali's joining us via Zoom, and she is going to make the big decision. How do you think Ben's gone this week with trying to impress Skinny, Ali? Yeah, I've got to say, it's been pretty, pretty good, to be fair.

And he might have actually done a better job than you, John. Okay. Well, don't outshine me, okay? Okay. Oh, you revved a car, a flash orange sports car. You know, you were behind the wheel of that. Yeah, I know. But Ben sent greasy biscuits to your call team, the call centre team.

Yeah, I did. Yeah, they loved it. They absolutely loved it. The biscuits weren't greasy. The gesture was greasy. Yeah, that wasn't for public. That was just for behind the scenes. But you made it into a public thing.

Yeah, so I've been working behind the scenes trying to make this happen because I feel like I'm missing out. So it's been a little awkward, Ellie, I won't lie, just having one of us sponsored on the show. A little awkward because you're on a billboard. You're on a massive billboard and you put an advert in the paper. That's why it's a little awkward. Listen, I've been enjoying it

and fulfilling client commitments along the way, Ben. You don't understand this because you're not sponsored. Okay, there's things that you have to do. But Ellie has been thinking over the last week whether you are worthy, whether you're worthy of coming on board with the skinny friendship. So Ellie, I'll hand it over to you.

Wow. Nice dramatic music. Is that it? That's dramatic music. Is that it? Yeah, that's the music. You can drag this tension drama out for as long as you want, Ellie, or as short as you want. The ball's in your court. Okay, well, I'm kind of thinking that, Ben,

you might have orange in your blood, which is a good move because I'm pretty keen to bring you on board. Oh, he's coming on board. I'm part of the game. He's bleeding orange. Part of the skinny partnership, though, the sponsorship. That's great. Well, thank you, Ellie.

However, however, because we will do anything to keep prices low and customers happy, we can't afford big sponsorships. So we're going to rename this. We're going to turn it into a bit of a friendship. Friendship's cheaper than a sponsorship. In the market it's cheaper to be a friend than it is a sponsor. Right. Generally

friendships, they don't pay. Just clarifying, just clarifying, there's still some income for NZ and me, our parents, the owners of the hits. Just to clarify that. Yes.

Okay, great. Because that would have been a bad deal going back to our bosses. I reckon. Hey, we're both on board, but yeah. Oh, listen, Ali, wonderful to have Skinny as the friends of the show. This is going to be, I can tell, this is going to be a very special relationship built on telecommunications and the colour orange.

Definitely. Thank you so much. Thank you. We apologise in advance. It's Jono and Ben on the Heads. Now, we like to pull back the curtain, don't we? We're a warts and all show. I've actually got to go get mine burnt off, but...

Oh, God. Until then... That was bad, even for you. Until then, we're even for you Until then We're warts and all Until the doctor deals with them After that We're not warts and all right

Once they've been dry iced We can't say we're warts and all Yeah that's good But Ben Boyce You actually You're broadcasting from your house at the moment And I'll tell you why And because we're warts and all

It's because Tensions are at an all time high We can't work in the same room. If you thought Alan's production was falling apart behind the scenes, take a look into Jono and Ben on the hits. He is a monster behind the scenes, guys, and I'm going to tell all very shortly. Where are you right now in your household?

I'm sitting right next to my kitchen. Waking up your entire family from 5.30 in the morning. Yeah, they all come in down the hall, blurry eye just looking at me going, why have you been shouting words into a microphone since six o'clock morning? Hey, you guys. Good to see you guys.

And you're like, well, this is radio, kids. This is radio life. Exactly. So I'm just sitting here at the moment having some breakfast, literally having breakfast while doing breakfast. What are you eating? What are you going for breakfast?

I've got crumpet this morning. Oh, I thought you'd be eating like kale or something. No, I'm breakfast while doing breakfast. What are you eating? What are you going for breakfast? I've got a crumpet this morning. Oh, I thought you'd be eating like kale or something. No, I mean a crumpet. It's quite delicious. I always get quite confused as to what exactly a crumpet is. I don't know what category it falls under. That's a good point. It's kind of like a pikelet. It's kind of a little

bit like a bagel. I don't know. You're right. What is a crumpet? I don't know. I went under the hits. What is a crumpet? We'll get to the big topics this morning. John Pryor, my father, huge consumer of crumpets. Oh, really? He loves crumpets. Yeah, no. If my mum was a crumpet, he would have eaten her. Okay.

He would have. No. I'm not going to go there. That wouldn't have made for a healthy marriage, just wanting to eat your wife the entire dinner of your marriage. Okay. He loves it. Can someone call it?

Because I want to get out of this. Because when I have a crumpet, I enjoy it. And it's something that you can go for years without having. But when you crumpet, you crumpet hard. Yeah, you're right.

I've been getting into them quite a lot recently and enjoying the crumpets. But I don't know what they are. But someone's on the phone? Yes, I think so. Producer Humphrey's saying someone's phoned up from a company called Cracking Crumpets. Not the other version.

Cracking Crumpets. Cracking Crumpets. A crumpet proprietor of sorts. Hamish, now, is a crumpet a cousin of the pikelet? Yeah, well, you're almost there. Uh-oh. It's a thing. Well, your phone just cut out at a very pivotal moment.

You were literally just giving us the answer and the phone cut out. Say it again. I'll go again, I'll go again. So it's yeast-based. It's a type of bread. It's a yeasty bread? Yeah, yeah, and then you add a lot more liquid with it, so the bread goes from being a dough to being a batter.

Okay, so originally it could be designed for a loaf of bread, but you just push it to the extreme. Yep, yep, and then you cook it on a hot plate. Cook it on a hot plate, and you can have it savory or sweet. There's plenty of options with a crumpet. Yeah, bacon and eggs go a real treat on them. Oh, bacon and eggs as well. Listen, the thing I find with the design of food

is that it all must have come about by accident, right? Yeah. So whoever invented a crumpet just screwed up making a loaf of bread and then covered their ass by going, oh, no, no, this is a whole new thing. This is a crumpet. I meant to do that. I meant to put it on the front.

Exactly. It's like a pikelet. It's like, oh, no, it wasn't meant to be a pancake. It was just a... So how long would it take to make a crumpet for you guys? So about 10 minutes from us putting them on. They cook. That's why you get a real crunch space on them.

And then the holes all bubble up. And then we flip them over and just post them off quickly on top. Ten minutes, there you go. Is it a nice bit of crumpet? It is, it is. Maybe a good name for your business too. Crackers crumpet's good too, yeah. It was very nearly called a nice bit of crumpet.

Oh, good. I'm glad it was in the brainstorm. We can't go with that. Will we keep you guys around in Auckland Hopefully soon again Yeah well hopefully I'm sure there's We'll have to wait and see what happens Listen I hope you're back out there

Peddling your crumpets to the Masters At some point hey Mitch Yes so do I Good on you buddy You look after yourself And yeah You've got some good recipes online Look basil pesto

Salmon cream cheese Oh jeez that looks good. And the blueberry black forest is probably my fave. Jeez, you're getting quite experimental with your crumpets, aren't you? What's the best thing and the worst thing

you put on a crumpet? I don't know. The best, a nice little one is some just honey and walnuts. Keep it pretty simple. Honey and walnuts. Okay. It's pretty damn delicious.

Could you have a tuna crumpet? Oh, God, I don't know. Tunically, you could. You could, but... You could. You pushed it too far. We'll give that a go, Hamish. Lovely talking with you, buddy.

And give the business a plug, eh? Yeah, cheers. Once everything's up and running, come find us at Kraken Crumpets.ets. Crackin' Crumpets. Alrighty. That's probably the first and last time we'll ever spend so much talking about crumpets. We solved the issue, though. We know what

a crumpet is now. Gee whiz, there was some high crumpet content there. Like starting your day with panda eyes. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Now masks, eh? They're all compulsory for Mondays. On public transport across the country, everyone's got to wear masks, don't they, Benjamin Boyce? That's right, Jonathan Pryor. And we had our first run of masks a while ago.

We actually, thanks to kindface.co.nz, brought some limited edition masks out. We were giving them away for free. And we decided to put quirky slogans on the side. And I don't know if they were quite the best idea. No, no. They, you know, things like I've got pash rash, excuse me, I've got halitosis. What else? Don't kiss me, I'm married. Funny for us but, you know, for general public consumption I think some people might have been turned off by the slogan or this is what our market research was telling us, Ben. Yeah and even my my mum, because I gave one to my mum, and she's a big fan of the show, big supporter,

but we rang her yesterday to see if she'd been wearing the mask, and this is what my mum Jenny had to say. Did you find the slogan sort of turned you off wearing the mask in public? No, I'm quite excited about it, really. Why did you want it? Would you suggest quirky slogans or maybe something a little more subtle? Yeah, something that everyone would want to put on their face and not keep in their handbags. Oh, wow.

You could put a picture of Ben on the front. I like that. A little Benny. Yeah, let's put Ben on the front. So Jenny Boyce is voting for a, because we're going to do another round of masks. Like COVID-19 to New Zealand, our masks are having a sequel. And we're going to do another round. masks. Like COVID-19 to New Zealand, our masks are having a sequel. And we're going to do another round. We're going to release them next week.

But we thought we'd step away from the quirky slogans, Ben. Yeah, we thought maybe we'll put someone's face on there, you know, just to honour someone in the mask game. But you yesterday thought maybe put my face on there, and I don't think that's a good idea. Well, you want to honour someone in the mask game. I want to honour Jenny Boyce who's a fan of this program

and that's only because of genetics, she has to be a fan of this program. Yeah. But yeah, so I'm going to honour your mother, Jenny. I'm going to say, let's put your face up for vote. Should we put Ben Boyce's face on a mask? No. So you can have Ben all over your face?

No one wants that, Jono. No one wants my face. I think we need to throw it out there. 0800 the hits. Who could we put on the mask that's better than me? Well, everyone's better than me, but yeah, we want a good, the best suggestion to put on the mask. This is your mother's memory you're trampling over here.

If Jenny passes away today, God forbid she doesn't, her dying wish was to have your face on a mask, and now you're just batting her off. I can get one made for her with my face on it, but no one else wants to wear my face on a mask. Okay, we've got some texts coming through, many people texting through saying,

all the Prime Ministers are popular votes so far. Prime Minister on 4487, and I think, Elizabeth, you want to back up the Prime Minister vote a popular vote so far. Okay. Prime Minister on 4487. And I think, Elizabeth, you want to back up the Prime Minister vote, don't you? Yes, I sure do. Yeah, you want Jacinda on the mask over Ben Boyce? Over Ben Boyce. She totally deserves it.

What about Ben Boyce? Not sure about Ben Boyce. He deserves it. Okay. I'm right here. This is awkward. This is awkward, guys. Okay. What are your true thoughts about Ben Boyce? Okay, right. I'm right here. This is awkward. This is awkward, guys. Okay.

What are your true thoughts about Ben Boyce? Okay, right here. Right here. Oh, great. Amazing. Oh, great and amazing. Good. Okay.

Did you hear that, Ben? She said you were great and amazing. I did hear that, but I felt like it was forced. But anyway, I'll take it. Thank you. All right. Lovely words. Let's go to Wellington.

Lucy, your thoughts on Ben Boyce. Is he great and amazing? He is great and amazing. I think I'm going to put Kiwi legend, thoughts on Ben Boyce. Is he great and amazing? He is great and amazing. I think I'm going to put Kiwi legend Dr Ashley Bloomfield. Oh, Bloomfield on the mask. Oh, that's good. Yeah, protecting against COVID, you know.

If anyone deserves to be on a mask, it's Ashley Bloomfield or the great and amazing Ben Boyce. Yeah, you can say that. Alright, thank you Lucy. Appreciate that. Well, we're going to chuck it to the vote. Yeah, you can say that. All right. Okay, thank you, Lucy. Appreciate that. Well, we're going to chuck it to the vote. Oh, someone's texted in, 4487,

let's put a picture of Ben on there when he had dreadlocks. Oh, no. No, no one wants that. Those are Ben Boyce's favourite years. No, no, no, no. Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to put this to the vote overnight on social. I think we put Ashley Bloomfield in there.

He's a given. And I think we put the great and amazing Ben Boyce in there. He's a given as well. I think we can just decide on Ashley Bloomfield. We don't need to put anything on social. What about just a slogan with Bloomfield? Why don't we go there? Listen, mate, you're at home. You have no power at the moment. You can't control anything right now. I can unlike

the post. I can just say not like, don't like. Thumbs down. Lou in calories and Lou in laughs. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Spy, the what's up spy.co.nz I tell you what, if she only spent as much time finding a vaccine as she does researching gossip news, the world

would be in a better place. But here she is, producer Juliet with Spy Entertainment News. Thank you. So Tiger King is officially getting a season two. So Joe Exotic's husband has said that they've already started filming season two. He doesn't know when the release date is going to be, but it's going to tell a little bit about Joe's arrest and what happens afterwards. And that's kind of all we know for now.

But it could be another, you know, if this country and this world keeps going into lockdown continuously, it's another show for people to watch because people binge Tiger King in first lockdown, don't they? I thought the story had sort of started and finished. What more can they milk out of these tigers? I don't even know if you can milk tigers. Ben, can you milk tigers? No, why am I the zoological expert?

Don't think you can milk a tiger, Jono. Okay, well, I thought you are the expert of milking things. The pun comedy we've milked for years. My goodness. That'll never get old. And on the subject of Tiger King, Carol Baskin,

I feel like she's always in the news. She probably loves being famous, to be honest, but SNL did an impersonation of her and she was not happy. This is the impersonation. Thought was quite good. Hey, all you cool cats and kittens. It's Carol Baskin.

Just took a kitty cat ride around my kitty cat, meow, meow, kitty cat lake. Oh, God. That's disturbing. That's good. That's a good impression, though. It is. It is. And this is Carol's response.

I could just slap that woman. This whole, like, my kitty meow, meow, kitty meow. And she would just, like, say all these really weird words all in row. And so that became really popular, I guess, in popular culture. Yeah, so she wasn't approving of the kitty cat meow, meow, meow. I don't think anyone's that enamoured of people doing impersonations of them. No. Do they? Like when Ben does mine,

do your impersonation of me. Yeah, Jada, yeah, oh yeah, oh, Harvey Weinstein, yeah. You know, that sort of stuff. Oh my God. And I mean, it's a bang on. It's almost like I can't tell the difference. Yeah, that's you.

That's what you'd say. Wonderful impersonations. Oh, listen, look at That's what you'd say. Wonderful impersonation. Oh, listen, look at me, Ben, eating healthy and living long. When he takes photos. Oh, yeah, yeah, true. Juliet said don't. Sorry, I know we're weighing in on Ben. Why are you popping it on us?

Sorry. When Ben Boyce takes a photo. No one asked for your impression. When Ben Boyce takes a photo, he makes this noise, which is like, because no one makes any noise when the photo's being taken. He's like,

and it sounds like a little, little gerbil or something just being slowly strangled, doesn't it? Just milked. A gerbil being milked. A gerbil being milked. Oh, wonderful.

For more Spy, you can head to theheadstock.nz. Thanks, Jude. Want more Jono and Ben? You can catch up with the boys anytime. Just search Jono and Ben on Instagram. Now, the Republican convention's going on in the USA at the moment, Jono, and I don't know if you saw the lady, Kimberly Guilfoyle, but she had quite a shouty speech going on.

You have the ability to choose your life and determine your destiny. Don't let the Democrats take you for granted. Don't let them destroy your families, your lives, and your future. Wow, it's almost Hitler-esque, isn't it? Very passionate. My mum always kept going, when we used to do a TV show, we had a wonderful guy, Sam, who would warm up the audience and talk to them.

And my mum came along to one show. Do you remember this, Ben? Yeah. And she was like, Sam, you're just like Adolf Hitler. And he's like, what? And she's like, well, Hitler, yeah, he had his flaws, obviously, but he knew how to command a crowd, didn't he? Okay. Quite the public speaker, yeah, he had his flaws, obviously, but he knew how to command a crowd, didn't he? Okay.

Quite the public speaker, yeah. Well, she was just in a room by herself because obviously there was no audience, but a lot of people on social media going, why is she shouting at us? Did she write her speech all in caps lock? I heard this speech, my TV wasn't on. That was another tweet that I liked as well.

Who was she shouting at, though? But there's no one in the room. Well, I think maybe Trump was the only one in the room, but there was no audience. It just went out. And they recorded that, so they could have gone, hey, you want to give it one more go? But anyway.

We played a game the other day, actually, tied in with the election, where Ben Boyce was holding up pieces of paper with election jargon. You know, things like polling, Booth, Jacinda Ardern, David Seymour. And I had to try and work it into a natural conversation. Good morning, Deville. Oh, good morning. How are you?

I'm good. How can I help? Listen do you take bookings? We do Yep For a party of five Thank you Five? Yeah

And what's that? For today Today later on this afternoon Yeah now do you Just a quick question Do you guys run a table operation Or more of a booth system? We've got I guess we've got like half

a booth. Half booths, okay. We've got tables outside and all that kind of stuff. Haven't fully committed to a booth, you've got a half one, I'll take that. We were deciding where to go and I said to my friends and family, guys, we need to be voting on this. So we held a referendum

and turns out you guys are the perfect candidate. Oh, sweet. Guys, we need to be voting on this. Yeah. So we held a referendum. And turns out you guys are the perfect candidate. Oh, sweet. Now, your polling system. I'm a bit concerned. I do have a tendency to walk into polls. How many polls do you have in the restaurant? I'd say two.

Two. We've got to lean in. That's fine. Any more than two, I sort of walk into them. Now, I don't want to labour on it for too long. Yep. So do you think I could see more of your menu? Is there anywhere I could see more of your menu?

There should be one on our website of the full menu. One of my favourite historical world figures, Winston Churchill, used to love eating roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Do you have that on the menu? We don't, sorry. No roast beef at the moment. What about an outdoor garden? Do you have a garden? An arden. A garden.

Oh, a garden. A garden? No, a garden. Thank you. A garden? A ga- No, a ga- It's Jono and Ben from The Hits here. How are you? Oh, how's it going? Oh, we're going all right.

I was just making Jono try to insert as many election-based jargon into the conversation. Hence his polling question and his ga-arden. That was just an arden, if it makes sense. Oh, yeah. You sound sufficiently disappointed, and that's the appropriate reaction. Out of 10, I'd say, I'll go about a 9.

A 9? He did really well. Polling well with this guy. I will give you business. I'll still reserve a table for you. Give your business a plug. Where can people come see you? Deville, 22 New Street,

Nelson. And Nelson, I can't wait to come down and check out your gut. Wake up full of shame. Wake up with these guys. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Scrolling through your feed. Yes, this is all the news that has broken overnight. The stuff you'll be talking about today,

that's if you don't have more important stuff to talk about. But Ben Boyce, you help us out with those topical stories that will help me out with some light banter with my co-workers today. Okay, well, you want to turn up at work, you want to talk about what the Queen eats over a day, right? That's what I want to do. That's the first thing I want to say when I get into the office. Do you guys know what the Queen eats every day?

So according to a chef that worked for the queen in the 80s and 90s, she eats four meals a day, but only small portions at each. So she has breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner. And she starts with tea and biscuits in the morning, which I thought was interesting before cereal. More of a

morning tea meal, isn't it? The tea and biscuits I would find. That's what I thought. She grilled fish or grilled chicken with salad or vegetables for lunch. Afternoon tea, always having an afternoon tea. Tea and scones. I imagine she has a lot of afternoon tea meetings. And then obviously a meal at night. But we did talk about it a while ago that she enjoys a drink, four cocktails a day.

Yeah, gin at like 11.30 in the morning or something. Yeah, a gin in the morning, a mid-morning gin, a glass of wine at lunch, a dry martini in the afternoon, and then a little bit of a cheeky champagne before bed. Well, no wonder she doesn't eat much. She's just bloody jacked up on booze from morning to evening. I know Prince Philip, I don't know what he eats, but he's got a remarkable knack of looking deceased,

but also living at the same time. Both their insides, I mean, you can probably get to an age in life, eh, where you're like, my insides are pickled like a jar of gherkins. Might as well just keep throwing some stuff in there. We spoke to a Kiwi guy, James Hardy, who actually had a job as a barista for the Queen. What did you say on your resume that got you a job with Her Majesty? Yeah, the resume was a little bit glorified. Yeah.

Sure enough, talked up the small skills I did have, and then, yeah, just landed the job. And so the role was what? So I was making coffee at Balmoral Castle, which is their holiday residence. Never made a coffee before in my life, so... That's where the glorification came in. Training was made a coffee before in my life, so... That's where the glorification came in.

Training was provided, and before you know it, three weeks later, I was making a cappuccino for the girl. For the girl. By the way, he refers to the Queen as the girl. The old girl. Well done to the Queen for still living. But I don't know, it sounds like she wouldn't have had much time for coffee in between her rampant alcohol consumption.

Maybe to sober up. And if you're wondering also what people have been eating in quarantine, well, they obviously get meals provided when they're in quarantine coming back from overseas. But a lot of people getting Uber Eats on top of those meals. And one customer apparently racked up 63

coffee orders from Wild Bean in 24 days. That's impressive. Wild Bean? Wild Bean does a good coffee, don't they? It does. You were talking about how sometimes you have how many coffees a day yesterday, Jono? I have six, and I can still fall asleep within 30 to 60 seconds.

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm fuelled on caffeine, baby. Very volatile and unpredictable. And another Kiwi returning home in quarantine had 25 orders from an Indian restaurant over 14 days. So that's equivalent to 1.7 times a day ordering from

this Indian restaurant. I love a tikka masala. I don't know that consistently, though. No, but that's impressive, isn't it? So that's what they've been ordering on top of getting meals from their hotel. I guess maybe the hotels weren't up to scratch. I don't know. Well, there we go.

Publicly food shaming the poor quarantines. You wouldn't want to release my weekly diet for public consumption. It wouldn't make for pretty reading. You were saying how many pizzas were consumed as well? Oh, 669 pizza orders. I mean, yeah, you're right. We don't need to publicly shame these people.

They've already been locked in a hotel room for two weeks. Now we're going to host all your records of your food you've eaten. Room 382 had 49 burgers in two weeks. A shower. They had a nine-minute shower. They went to the bathroom. Yeah, we don't need any of that. Many pay-per-view movies late at night as well.

Start your day the wrong way. It's Jono and Ben on my hips. It's time to do the A to Z of New Zealand. The A to Z of New Zealand. This is where we call a different town or city in New Zealand. We do one a day. We do it alphabetically, and it's going to take us a couple of years to get through every town and city in New Zealand.

Yesterday, we rang a place very close to producer Ben Humphrey's heart, Fairleigh. Producer Ben Humphrey, you've been waiting for this for a while. This is Fairleigh's turn. Oh, it's exciting, isn't it? You're fairly excited about this. Yeah, but I reckon we've got a guy who's a bit of an icon and we can call him. Okay. Bruce.

Yes. We're here with Ben Humphrey, who's our producer, and he's from Fairleigh. And you know his father, we understand. No, I'm not his father. Well, test, paternity test pending. So there we go. That was Fairleigh. Can I just say, can I just say, no one picked up on my Fairleigh excited.

I did. It was great. I was like, oh, this is good. This is going to go down well. And you blanked me. Producer Ben Humphrey blanked me. It was, oh I was like, oh, this is going to go down well. And you blacked me. Producer Ben Humphrey blacked me. It was, oh, okay, fine. No, people were just enjoying it in silence.

All right. Is that what happens? Yeah, without smiling. Okay. Yeah, with nothing. It was just like, he's fairly excited. They're like, yeah, I guess he is excited. Yeah.

But anyway, all right. I'm into today's town. Where are we going today? Featherston. It's a town in the South Wairarapa District in the Wellington region. Featherston, although light on actual feathers, the town makes up

for that, for their lack of feathers with an abundance of writers and artists. AKA people who don't have real jobs, like radio hosts. Yeah, exactly. So we'll go through to Featherston now. Hello?

Hello, it's Jono and Ben calling from the Hits radio station. G'day. How you doing? Good, thanks. Have we got hold of Featherston? You've got hold of Featherston? Have we got hold of the Opportunity Shop in Featherston? You've got hold of Featherston? Have we got hold of the opportunity shop in Featherston? You haven't do? Well, this is a wonderful opportunity for Featherston

to advertise itself. We're phoning every town and city in New Zealand one a day. Featherston next on the list. Come on down. Oh, fantastic. Yay. Now, I grew up in Masterton, so many times I've been, you've been driving through Featherston on the way through the Rimutakas. I've been to the train museum. Is the train museum still a thing? Yeah, it is. It's still there. So you've got one train, but hey, it's a good train.

It's the one and only Fellingen Museum. Yeah. The whole museum is just one train. Yeah, but it's a great train. It's a Fellingen. You'd think a museum would probably justify... Oh, it's got, well, yeah, the main exhibit. It's the Felling one train. It's a, yeah, but it's a great train. It's a Fowlinger. You'd think a museum would probably justify the main exhibit is the Fowlinger train. Yeah, I enjoyed seeing it

as a kid. It was fun. What else is there to do in Featherston? Oh, there's the op shop, of course, which is the best little op shop in the whole of New Zealand.

Have you ever had something come be dropped into the shop and then find out that it was worth a lot of money? Not yet. I've got somebody looking at some of the art that's been dropped off. Oh, okay.

To figure out whether it's worth a lot of money. Kind of like your little antiques roadshow, isn't it? You know, what's this worth? Exactly. The highest concentration of bookshops in the Southern Hemisphere. Well, one of, one of, compared to the population. You love a bookshop. Well, we're an official book town, you see.

Yeah, the book town. So we usually have a book town festival. COVID's kind of gotten in the way of that this year, but we are an official book town, so we've got lots of book outlets and book shops. Oh, so you can take a leaf out of your book because that is a passion for books. That was good.

It's a fantastic little town. I never get, I never read, I'm going to tell you this, and being from a book town, you will not like this. I haven't read a book in years. There's an interesting fact. There's a smell that comes off old books, and apparently it is closely related to the vanilla plant. So as old books deteriorate, they give off this scent

that is very similar to vanilla, which is why so many people as old books deteriorate, they give off this scent that is very similar to vanilla, which is why so many people like old books. So you want to pick yourself up an old book sometime and have a little sniff. They do, do. Yeah, because people with, you know, Kindles were a thing for a while there, but people love the, just holding a book, the satisfaction of reading a book, right?

Yeah. We sell shitloads of books here. So many books. Maybe that should be the town slogan. I've never been told to go and sniff books, but maybe it might be a new hobby, go around sniffing books. And what calls might be like,

sir, can you please get out of the shop? Oh, it's got to be old books. Old books. Now, Featherston, they used to have a town sign. I don't know if they still do, saying, welcome to Featherston. If you lived here, you'd be home now, which I thought was very good.

Yes. We've still got that one. It's on the train station, so that as you arrive on the platform, you kind of go, oh, God, and I've still got to travel all the way to Arthur's Town and whatever. Unless you live in Featherston. There's also this great clock in the middle of town that says, slow down, we're on Featherston time, or something along those lines. That's good. It's a lovely place to live.

So when it's 7am here, what time is it in Featherston time or something along those lines. Oh, that's good. It's a lovely place to live. So when it's 7am here, what time is it in Featherston? Yesterday, 7am. Oh, day behind. But hey, it's Featherston time. To be honest, you might want to turn

Featherston time back to 2019. Yeah, true. Yeah, it was a much better year. Oh, yeah. Well, you stay safe in Featherston. Lovely talking to you and you enjoy your shitload of books. Thank you very much indeed.

Have a grunderful day. Okay. Cheers. Bye. Like starting your day without your morning coffee. It's Jono and Ben on my hits. Spy.

The WhatsApp. Spy.co.nz. Listen, I just put a stick up for producer Juliet's nostrils and she's tested positive for the big C, celebrity gossip. And here she is with the spy bulletin. So Beyonce, she has reunited with one of her old Destiny's Child members, pals,

and on a song called Brown Skin Girl. It's a lovely song. Brown skin girl, your skin just like pearls. And she released the music video of it. So there's Kelly Rowland, who was in Destiny's Child with her. What about all my other favourite people from Destiny's Child? Denise and Paula and Wendy and all the guys. Michelle probably didn't get the call-up.

It's like she's picked her favourite child. Yeah. Her favourite Destiny's Child. There you go. True. And model Naomi Campbell is also in it. There's quite a few stars in it, and it's a beautiful music video. That song is part of her Lion King album.

I didn't even realise she had a Lion King album, because, you know, in the new movie, she was the voice of, I think it was Nala, was it? Yeah. But she released a whole soundtrack of music, and that was part of it. It's a good song. Which wasn't on the official soundtrack.

Well, no, I think she's got an album dedicated to the Lion King. She went and did her own soundtrack. What about the soundtrack? The actual soundtrack? Good question. I need to research that. Did Nelson John work on that one? My question I have with the Lion King, it's one that does the rounds on the internet.

You know, when the dad, Mufasa falls from the cliff, why does he not land on his feet? that does the rounds on the internet. You know, when the dad, Mufasa, falls from the cliff, why does he not land on his feet? The cats always land on their feet. Oh, my goodness. I've never thought about that before. Wow. That would make for a very short film. All right.

Gotcha. Okay. I mean, they just excused that little lore of cat. Yeah. Just to extend the movie out by another 60 to 90 minutes. Fair enough. Yeah, true. And Lady Gaga, she is prepping for her MTV VMAs performance

with Ariana Grande, a virtual version, of course. Let me guess how she's preparing. What is she doing? She's preparing by stealing Bradley Cooper off his wife. Oh. Wow. Speaking of the Lion King. Getting catty.

Yeah, yeah. Well, she's done something probably a lot less bearable, taking an ice bath. Do you guys do ice baths? Listen, I don't have enough baths. So if the first one I'm going to take in many months is an ice bath, I think I'm going to opt for a warmer version. Yeah, yeah, true, true. I did one, remember, in the Zoomathon.

I had to do one over Zoom with Art Green doing one at the same time from his house. And you want to look cool, but I remember just going, oh, oh, oh, it was just me making that high-pitched squeal all the way through it. You were, and then you were like, everything's shrunk. It's all shrunk. I know. Well, that's my excuse. I took this ice bath once in 2019.

I say that all the time. It was an ice bath. P 2019. I say that all the time. It was a permanent damage. Permanent damage. But it was all in the name of entertainment. Now, Juliet, are you a bath person? Do you bath in your flat? Oh, I took a bath for the first time the other day after a run to ease my muscles. But then, one, I realised our bath is so big.

It's like a spa bath that it just took ages to fill up that I kind of just gave up and I was kind of just sitting in a puddle. What palace are you living in? It's pretty Bundy, to be honest. I would never have a bath in a flat. Your flat bath must be horrific. Oh, yeah, but I don't know what's going on in there. For the things that have gone on in that flat bath.

I know. For more spa, you can go to thehits.co.nz. Not a morning person? Sadly, neither of these two. It's Jono and Ben on the hits. Wrapping up our show for a Thursday. Thank you so much for joining us. We want to end the show on a positive note.

We like to do this every day. A feeling good. Why is it going to be a good day for you? 0800 The Hits. Jump on the dog and bone and give us a phone. Jodie, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Why is it going to be a good day for you? 0800 the hits, jump on the dog and bone and give us a phone. Jodie, welcome to New Zealand's Breakfast. Why is it going to be a good Thursday? Yeah, hey, I'm on my way to Christchurch picking up my partner. He's been up there getting a bone marrow transplant for leukemia.

Oh my God. We're picking him home today. How long has it been since your partner was at home? It's been six months. He's spent three months in Christchurch and three months in Dunedin Hospital. Oh, my gosh. What a great day.

Listen, I hope it's a big one for you. And I hope the operation went well. I hope the transplant went well. And you have a wonderful day, Jodie. Yeah, cheers. Thank you. Isn't that lovely? It is lovely.

A double pass. Reading Cinema's coming her way tomorrow. Join us on the show. Yeah, cheers. Thank you. Isn't that lovely? It is lovely. Double Pass Reading Cinema is coming her way tomorrow. Join us on the show. It's our 100th show, Jono. We're going to give away $100 on the show for our 100th show. Yeah, only $100. We're not giving away $100 to every caller, by the way, too. No.

We'll catch you tomorrow from 6. Have a great day. Want more Jono and Ben? You can wake up with the boys' weekdays from 6 on The Hits and via the iHeartRadio app. Jono and Ben on The Hits Breakfast. day.