Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Best Of The Week: Naked Distractions & Babysitting Blunders

Episode Date: September 20, 2025

Missed Jono, Ben and Megan this week? We’ve got you covered.Catch the best moments from the week in one bite-sized episode. Jono’s chaotic charity football experience (he got distracted by naked men), Megan and producer Grace intense off-air argument about the word “lore,” Ben checks in from London on his hot girl European autumn, and how our workout went with the infamous Francisco. Plus, babysitting blunders from vomit disasters to falling asleep...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Jono Ben and Megan podcast thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Morning. You have a nice weekend, Megan Puppers. Glistering pace of a weekend. We had just stuff on every moment of every day. Jam packed it, did you?

Yeah. But then, you know, you go back to work and you feel like you need a break. Yeah. You can have that holiday feeling, leaving your family behind coming into a. It's a sad reflection, isn't it? You'd rather spend time with us than your family. You're like, oh. Oh, I just, you know, when you have little kids going back to work sometimes seems like a holiday.

It's great. We took the famed Christchurch over the weekend, see my parents. That was lovely. Whenever you go back to your parents, do your, does your mum, oh, you look malnourish. You need to eat, just food. That's so much food. I wish, I'd wait for the day where someone says that I look malnourished. You look malnourished.

You really do look malnourish, Megan. I just gave it to you. Thank you. But I like going home. And does your parents like revert back into like looking after you mode? Yeah, yeah. Love that. No, it was good.

It was good. And my dad was in the Air Force and he took us to the Air Force Museum and he got to an Oscar and him had photos in front of all the planes he used to fly in, which was, that was lovely. That was a nice, that was a sweet moment. But, yeah, it came back yesterday for a charity football game. So we mentioned this on Friday. I think it was James that called up and said he'd seen you on a flyer. And we were like, I don't think Jono's remembered. because he's in Christchurch for the weekend.

To be fair, the calendar appointment had to remind me on Friday. So I had forgotten, technically speaking. But if I have mate Sam Smith, he's a comedian, he's got EMS, and it was for multiple sclerosis. So the fundraiser, get some bloody who's who and who's that of New Zealand show business out on the paddock, have a run around. You know the vibe. Yeah.

It was fun. It was really fun. Brie Thomas are really good at football from CDM. And like really competitive as well. Yeah, she was, yeah. So a lot of them are very very good. good football players. Clint Roberts, great football player too from ZDM. But anyway, you? No, I was just there, huffing and puffing and wheezing. I really, I think the last

time I played football was literally 1988, 1989, when I was a child. Way before golden balls. I'm surprised you haven't sustained some sort of injury. No. The funniest thing, because in the changing room afterwards, I haven't been into a communal changing room setting for many years as well. And you've got two groups of people. You've got people who, you've got people who, who will just like sort of quietly just put their trousers on in the corner, not make a fuss. And then you've got the people, boom, towels off, just roaming round. And I'm like, this is a chariot.

Okay, okay. But these are all, are they, was it, it's obviously split between male and female, right? Yeah, it wasn't a co-shed dressing room situation. But we would know people. Oh, there was a mix of all sorts of really good footballers too. And they were just making up the numbers, to be honest. But I was having this, I was sit down, conference, so imagine this, I'm on a bench. Okay, so I'm on a bench, and I'm having a very serious conversation with my friend John Bridges, okay?

He's telling me about job losses and things. In the changing rooms. In the changing rooms. He's just talking to me, we're both sitting down, he's talking to me, but directly behind him, just dangling, waving, right by his shoulder. And he's telling me about job losses, I can't stop laughing. And he's like, I can tell, he's like, this is not a funny story I'm telling you. No, no, job losses. And all I can see is golden balls in the background.

Just waving around and, like, being dried and flopped. And I couldn't take my eyes off. I'm not going to say, but I could not. Is someone well known? Yeah. Was it Clint Roberts? No, it wasn't Clint. I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus.

But, you know, when they're in the line of sight, you just cannot take your eyes off him. And that's all I could see, just above his shoulder, just waving around. And I was just like, please just finish this process so I can get back to being serious about this stuff. Like if he turned around. Real close, bro. Real close. They were almost like... You're like, John, just turn to the rope right now.

Yeah. And boom, he would have got one in the face. It was a great end of the day. It brought me a lot of joy. So I'd like to apologise to John who was telling me a serious story. I couldn't stop laughing all the way through it. And I couldn't tell why. It can't say why as well.

Or look at the boards behind, you know? Oh, that's a great start for a Monday morning. Thanks for that. John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The hit. yesterday producer troy will bring you in bring you in here producer troy's the uh partner of the year we're saying yeah what's he doing he's been with his partner need for six months and he has

downloaded the app stardust him and his partner and it is period tracker so she inputs all the details and he gets notifications um on like today's day one uh maybe she needs some chocolate we've found out she can cast spells on things that she feels like she needs on that day yes and that gives me like a very subtle notification being like hmm i think need might need chocolate today. And you provided a steak meal when iron deficiency, well iron was low. On day one.

It's very helpful for me as a man to know subtly what's going on in her world. Without having to have an awkward conversation. I think it's very sweet. It is very sweet of you. And I know, listen, you two are going to have a long, fruitful relationship. But God forbid, if the relationship ever ends, do you still keep the app running? Oh, I see. Nice to your partner watch out today, buddy.

Do you text it? Might be wanting to go to the butchers, my friend. Get yourself an eye forlitt. Anyway, you gave us a task, which I don't know why, to go home and ask our partners if they would like to get involved in the program. The thing is, it's very different for me and you. So if I ask my partner, I'm like, I'm going to download this, can I tap you in? That's very different to you asking your wife if you can track hers.

Amen. Amen, I completely agree. And so, listen, the hard thing is coming in with this content and trying to make it sound natural. Just, you know, this is during, after dinner clean up, so it's like, I'll try and just sort of segue it into conversation. And this is how it went down with my wife, Jennifer. Have a listen.

Would you mind if I trace your mental cycle? Why would you like to do that? I'm quite capable of doing myself. I just want to keep on top of it. Nope. Absolutely no. Are you having it now? I'd just turn that off if I were you.

I know you're recording me. Hard no, hard no. So listen, I can't. You went into that terribly. I did. Would you mind if I'd track? Bug her off. Yeah, no, that was the response I was expecting, really.

So there we go, I can't. All I'm trying to be is the perfect partner, Troy. Try. Can I caveat my with, this was very late at night. It was right before I went to bed that I remembered I was supposed to be doing this. Okay. So I'm like, I'm about to go to sleep. I don't know in my mind I was like talk like you're on the radio so people aren't like gross but I was in bed and I've forgotten I was supposed to do this

this always feels like a party you weren't meant to be invited to when you hear these sorts of conversations between Megan and her husband Andrew okay sorry okay it's like they've just come off a very thorough yoga session have a listen if I got a period tracker app would you download that too you think I'm not already tracking it. You are not. I don't need a tracker app. I can sense it from here. But it like

gives you like notifications and stuff. You give me your own notifications, babe. Shut up. No, don't. Like what? I'd do it for you, baby. Don't sass me and then change your tune.

I love it how it starts off. Shut up. I do not It's a really good insight Yeah that was great Sounds like you both are like Pretty heavy medication there Pain killer medication

I've been sick And it was late And I was like ready to go to sleep So there we go Troy Sounds like that's just a youth thing I'm sorry It's all good John O'Ben and Megan

The podcast The Hits Grace Producer Grace who we work with Gen Z producer Grace Who's gone home sick With the migraine I call that weakness

Sign of weakness In that generation You get migraines Do plow on though don't I We don't talk about our feelings in our generation. But no, Grace, you've got her to look after your children Friday night. I did. She would be a great babysitter.

I'm going to say that about great. I reckon she would really do a good job of entertaining the kids. She's got, like, child CPR certification too, so she might seem free and loose. She can resuscitate children. She can. What about adults? Surely if you can do it for kids, you can do it for adults. Well, she'd give it a good guy, I reckon.

Give it a bow. She's like, sorry, I only work with children. I only resuscitate children. It's slightly different. What about old men? So, yeah, I left her with my two and four-year-old. My two-year-old and grace are very similar, both very stroppy and argumentative.

High highs, low lows. High highs, low- lows. But I did get frantic messages from her. I was at Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, watching that amazing show. And I was getting frantic messages from Grace saying that my daughter had refused to put her nappy back on after going to the toilet.

Yeah. She was like, oh, she told me it's uncommon. And she just wears undies to bed. I was like, she absolutely does not. Right, she's trying to play the babysitter, yeah. Good manipulation. She was like, I feel bad because she says it's uncomfortable. I was like, oh, too bad, sweetheart.

Got to wear that nappy. I say that to Ben every day about my nappies that he puts on me. Uncomfortable. Mulky. It's got to be done. Rashy. So then we went through all the negotiation techniques to get one on her. Eventually she got it on.

But the kids also stayed up quite late. They were having fun watching a movie and doing things. with Grace. I do get a message from her very late saying the kids are super asleep. Slay. You wouldn't get a more grace message. Super asleep. Kids are super asleep, sleigh.

And then what did you come home to? This is what I find interesting. It wasn't too late about 10.30 on Friday night. And we come home and it was quiet, quiet and lying on the couch covered in a blanket in her jammies Grace was fast asleep. In her own pajamas. She pulled over her own pajamas. She turned up in her jammies and slipped

and she had her soft toys. I was like, a child has come to look after my children. Surely, one of the core, the core tasks of babysitting is staying awake. Yeah, but I mean, they were in bed, so. So she was passed out on the cat. Was she meant to go home, or did she stay the night or what happened? Well, so I tried, I didn't want to wake her up, so we just tried making a bit of noise and, like, banging things.

I actually accidentally dropped something. She's still fast asleep. So I went into the room. The TV is still playing And on the TV There was like True Crime murder documentary And they were going through forensic photos

It was gruesome Yeah, she likes all that stuff She's like She fell asleep to some gruesome true crime But ended up staying the night Because she didn't want to drive home Which is great So we're going to open this up

Babysitting blunders A friend of mine too Kids are volatile You never know what you're going to get They ended up locking themselves in the car In the garage So she, the parents came home And she was negotiating to go like a sort of a

Negotiating with little terrorists Yeah, push this button to unlock Because they had the fob inside the vehicle I've been there John O'Benn and Megan The podcast As revealed the beep of family rules That they have on their wall

There's 10 rules Oh they're household rules are they We value innovation and moving the human experience forward We value health and physical wellness As an active stewardship We value sustainability And creating products that serve humanity Sounds like a business

Those are tedious house rules What about We value flushing the toilet Is that on there I really value that in my household Yeah Putting the toilet seat down

Cleaning the toilet Sitting on porcelain At the middle of the night Value folding clothes There's none of that Yeah Well you can value Sustainability when you've got

Billions of dollars Can you? Yeah Each to their own Hey we're just talking Our nanny nightmares Babysitting blunders Whatever you want to call it

This morning 0800 That hits the telephone number We've got Rebecca with us What happened when you were babysitting, Rebecca? I've had all sorts of things happen. Have you had quite an illustrious babysitting career, have you?

One time I was met with a baby sitting at a kid when I was only like nine. My parents were home too, but I was spinning her around on a chair, she was about two, I think. I was sitting around on a computer chair and she fell off and hid her hear on it. Did you tell the parents? No. No, no. It was fine, luckily. Next time you retell that story, try and do it with a little bit of it.

Yeah. Next time you retell that story, try and do it with a little. less laughing luckily I'm a lot more trustworthy with kids now I've got mine yeah right you've had a good track record now hey that's great Rebecca you go and have a wonderful day thank you

our friend I must say our friend was a nanny over in the UK quite a wealthy family yeah and the mother of the child was away at work and then came back and our friend was wearing her expensive gowns in her closet and her shoes I would totally do that but

Oh, everyone probably does, but you never want to get caught doing it. And then she had degradingly, she was like, I think this is probably the end of our professional relationship. And then she had to, like, degradingly take off the shoes and the ball gown. She was like, that was a lot. She got pictures first. That was a lot. Jen, morning to you. Hi, morning.

Baby, lovely to have you on. Jenbo, now babysitting blunders. What happened? Yes, who was a while ago, so back when I was a teenager, I was babysitting this kid. and he had just had dinner and, like, put him to bed and then an hour later, he came out and he, like, his clothes were, like, fully covered

and, like, vomit, whether he'd caught something from school. And then, like, I had to change all his sheets, all pajamas, like, call up the parents, like, oh, my God. I was, like, 15, I was like, what do I do? Oh, this is, yeah, like, this is not worth the $10 an hour. Pretty much. Yeah, that is. And that's the thing when you're looking after other people's kids.

You never care for them as much as you like your own, do you? No, no. You don't feel as much responsibility. Oh, that's the worst, too. That is just the worst. Did the parents hurry home? Yeah, they did. They were just out at dinner, thank gosh.

And so, like, really close. I want to take my time. Hey, uh, Jen, we're going to give you the double pass. Are you a fan of Gabby and or her dollhouse? Yes, my daughter absolutely loves it. You're heading along, mate. You've got a family pass, all right? Oh, amazing. Thanks so much.

No need to book the babysitter. Someone's texting as well. I was a babysitter. I got them jacked up on pizza, McDonald's, lollies, and gave them two harmonicas. I hope they gave them to them when they were leaving. They were running electric by the time the parents got. John O'Ben and Megan, the podcast. Now, Troy, producer Troy.

If you've been listening to the show the last few days, we've been following Troy's experience with a gentleman called Francisco. Francisco, where's your best go. Personal trainer, I went to the gym. Troy, you go to Les Mills. You turned up to a class, and you were paired up for the couple's session with a PT named Francisco. Yes, and he was not kind to me. No.

He seemed lovely when we met him. You painted this picture that he was... No, I'm so annoyed because he turned it on for the cameras. Yeah, this is Francisco. When I arrive, I usually go to the other end, which is the heavier side. Not because they want to go heavy, just because it's like, it's quite... I get her, you know. And there he was.

He was like, come on, Troy. Yeah, you're doing great, Troy. Come on, Troy. Yeah, I'm waiting for you, Troy. So then, four days after you couldn't walk. It was hard. I felt like you guys were a little bit mean to me, so I thought, well, come on. Your turn.

Yeah, and the company were looking into wheelchair rental costs. So we turned up to this gym, Megan then says, as we're walking into the gym. I've subbed out, actually, because I'm not very well. Got a little cold. Yeah. So I subbed out yesterday, but I got you a replacement. Listen, this is her with her cold. Savor, the flavor.

Savor. We'll just do one more. So she was actually sick. I'll give you that. And then you're like, don't worry, I've got someone to fill in. Matty McLean from the afternoon show. Marathon, Maddie. Loves a marathon, very, very fit man.

The fittest man in media. Mani, you're like, I'm going to get him to chime in with you. So we turned up to Les Mills. And, gee, state-of-the-art technology at this gymnasia. It's a gym sent from the future. And as I'm watching all of these gorgeous people wander around, you know, with muscles, you know, they look like the muscles and the diagrams you see in the textbooks. Yeah.

And I'm just thinking, producer Troy, he came from the West Coast, you know, coal mining heritage. All I could think was generations of your family. You know, your granddad probably squatted cows or something in a panic. That's true, yeah, he did. Bench-press tractors. And I'm just looking around going, oh, Troy, he's these. He's a long way from home here. So we met Francisco walking into this incredible room like a nightclub.

Okay, we're just heading into the room with, oh wow, it's very industrial black. Looks like a nightclub with medieval torture equipment inside of it. Pulsating music, at one point, I would have been in an environment like this at 4 o'clock in the morning in a very different state of mine. So Megan's deserted me, and I feel. like a pensionist standing in a nightclub just waiting to find out who she's got to fill in for her oh okay

here he is the fittest person on station mattie marathon mclean has come through okay then the class started you got a guy with like a microphone like a Britney Mike Britney Mike they're giving the countdowns on the times and his name's Cam and Francisco's going away there's a lot it's a lot to download There's a sensory overload.

Eyes really, two, four, we're on, let's go. Right, John, here we go. People yelling at me on microphones. Intents hip-hop music, it's all. Come on, come on. You said a minute, Francisco. Oh! With the melody, he looks.

What? Think I'm lifting. A small track at the moment. Come on, Jono! 45 seconds! Come on. I hate rowing and everything it stands for. And we've invented the sport rowing.

Deirdre rowing or William McRowing, you can go and row row your boat. Gently down the stream. And get the way from me. So that was the experience. That was me being Francisco hard. Never heard you make those noises before. I'd never heard them the noises coming. Are they even noises?

What was that coming out of my mind? Also, why were you wearing a jersey? Maddie MacLean turned up with the guns out He was wearing a singlet He was making me feel things I've never felt for him before And you were in a jersey I felt yeah, I forgot a t-shirt to be honest But Maddie McLean

For a fit guy too He was struggling which made me feel a little bit better I hate you guys We would never do this on the drive show ever Man I don't know how John is doing it I didn't know either Do you need him to struggle to make you feel better

Because that was his second gym class of the day That was Maddie's second gym class gym class. So, of course he was going to struggle. Anyway, I can barely move this morning. Tomorrow is going to be worse. Had to park in those special car parks out the front this morning because I couldn't move my body.

John O'Benn and Megan. The podcast. The Hits. Apologies, I'm going to forefront, front foot list and say, rental car industry, come in for you. That's right. It's happening now. Big takedown.

Now, I imagine this is what Mike Hosking feels like when he does a big spiel on the Prime Minister and, you know, how the government's letting him down or something. Can I just, I rented a car. Okay, yesterday. Late. Late. You're late. You're late.

Late, yes, granted. But that's not my issue with the rental car. What I want to zero down in is on the rental car insurance. Okay. Is it necessary? Now, I'd love text poll 4487, off the record. Are you in the rental car game? Is it necessary?

Because I know you go there, they're like, it's peace of mind. Another $40 a day, piece of mind. Another $40 a day. I get a second rental car. That is insurance. I can crash that one, then drive the second one. I know, but you have to pay for the one that you crashed initially. That's the point.

That's shocking logic for me. I'll take that one on the chin. It's like any insurance, you get it as a gamble, you know, because you're not sure if you're going to use it. But if you don't, get it and you need it. It's really just backing your driving ability, isn't it? How confident you are on your driving ability. And other drivers.

Do you get it? Rental care insurance? Yeah. I know, that's the thing, because there's that tiny little bit of me. Yeah. Like 99% of the time it's going to be. fine, but there's that 1% where you're like, going to have to... It's the same as any insurance.

When you're like travel insurance, do I need it? No, no, you don't. But we get it because they prey on our fear and anxiety. So, okay, what I want to know is my normal insurance. Would that cover my rental insurance? Surely, why else am I paying that insurance? What normal insurance are you talking about? Your car or your home and contents job?

No, because it's somewhere else in a car that's not yours. Yeah, but still me anyway. Why would your home and contents? cover that. Because I'm already paying insurance. I've got my ass covered over here. Now I have to get my ass covered over there. Life is just one big giant ass covering. And you have to pay to have your ass covered. Too much money. Oh, wait. Under an ADDNA. Okay, text poll 4-15. 7. Rental car. If you are in the rental car industry, would you get rental car insurance?

John O'Ben and Megan. The podcast. That's joining us in studio as producer grace. We do love producer grace. We do love producer grace. 22 year old, 23 year old producer grace. Sorry, 24. 824 now. Don't count. She was 22 when she started with us. Oh, you're getting old, bro.

I'm every hour of the day now. I'm a whole day. And you guys are like a year. It's crazy. Yeah. Now, Grace and Megan, off the earways, you know, this is pulling the curtain back, behind the scenes. They have a very cisterly relationship.

Quite bickery at times. Generally, you know, three out of the five days of the week, it's pretty smooth, plane sailing. Yeah. But every now and then there's just these spikes of disagreements that take place. I think we're both quite stubborn and spirited. But, like, Grace, we go to Pilates. We, like, text each other all the time.

Grace sits after my kids. So I want to caveat this argument by saying that we do love each other. But. Now, this was, I didn't even, this was actually just recording by accident. We had the microphones on. I had no idea. This is being recorded. And this is going to reveal me to be a bitch.

Grace used the word law, L-O-R-E. And for some reason, this really. struck a nerve with me again and it all studied. I was also sick this day. Okay, here we go. Have a listen. He's got a good law. Stop using law. Law's not going to happen.

Do you know what law mean? Yes. What does law mean then? Do you know how to spell it? Yeah. L-O-E-R. That word's put around from... Hello, it's L-O-R-E.

Oh, that's what I meant. Law, you said E-R, no... No, I know, but my brains are working. You guys didn't make it up. But we started using it with different things. Usually the exact same reason everyone else is always used. Maybe like book law. It's like the history of the book.

That's what that word. Yeah, that's why are you doing that? I'm just, the migraines coming. And I'm going to name it grave. I'm going to keep yelling. But we just made law happen. No, you just took folk off it. Oh, is that one?

So, yeah. I have a good argument to have too. Like out of all the stuff you could argue about in the world at the moment, that was a good topic. Can you please tell everyone I'm not usually that sweary too? Yeah, normally I'm the swear around I was like, Megan, I was beeping at hours and stop. And it really goes from like

zero to 100 real quick with you too as well, which I appreciate. Yeah, we're entertaining. We're here for entertaining family of the boys. So I'm trying to make law happen. I love her I'm like, L-O-R-E. What is it?

Like L-O-E-R. Don't start it again. Let's not go back. We did make it happen. I just want to put it there. You were talking about who generation trying to make it happen. John O'Benn and Megan.

The podcast. Welcome. Welcome to Friday. Welcome to the last day of the school term as well. School holidays start tomorrow. Well, today, typically. A lot of excited kids and probably stressed out parents trying to figure out how they're going to fill in the next two weeks and juggle jobs. And 30,000 people expected at Auckland Airport today. 30,000. Wow. Yeah, all trying to escape. Escape.

Yeah, well, a guy who did escape before the madness was Ben, who's not here. He's already on holidays. He headed over on his hot girl European Orwell. autumn. We don't have his itinerary. We should have asked for his itinerary. I want to know where he is exactly at this moment. Well, he is. Well, right now he's in London. And is it any coincidence that he's there with his hero Donald Trump? I would say not. He would be mortified that you said that. They would be, yeah, the city bracing for a shortage of hand sanitizer from Ben and Bondi's fake tan from Trump. So he sent us some audio. This is This is fresh off the press, hot off the presses, as they say.

Hello, hello, hello, what have we here? Oh, I'm going, how are we doing? What are you doing here? David Beckham, Megan Markle, all right. Dad, five, four, three, two. What's that? It's like gender parenting. He came down from five and you stopped.

I'm just doing a report back to the Hits radio station in New Zealand. People think you're crazy. No one sounds like that. This guy off the show, you can't do a British accent for the life of them. I've just been in London town. for a couple of days all right in both of them uh prince harry oh oh king charles all right jog on why are you just like listening every single thing this is giving me a headache all right all right all right son all right oh all right yeah okay okay so i stop so stop that yes i was just picked up an accent

quite quickly yeah yeah yeah a good one oh very good one okay well we're standing right here next to um the big ben little ben is standing beside the big ben he's feeling quite a little Yeah, well, Big Ben is right here And it's, yeah Big Ben's a little intimidating for me Because I'm, yeah, not quite as big as that one Yeah, I'm more popular Ben I'd have to say, all right

I'm going to go, jog on son All right, get white All right, oh, I go, like a shoeshine, all right You go live from Ben Like a shoe shine, all right He committed to the accent So there you go live from London And he sent us a photo of

Little Ben by Big Ben It's something called the Dilley. Oh, it's like a restaurant called the Dilley. And we all did a crying laugh. It's good. So he's been now on his Hot Girl European Autumn. And actually before 7 o'clock, he's heading to Danielle. Daniel is our Italian correspondent.

He's heading to her home stomping ground as well. In Roma. He's going to Rome in Italy.