Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - BONUS: Holly Jean Brooker On Kids Sport And Dealing With Failure

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Holly Jean Brooker from the parenting place joins us to share advice and her experience on kids sports and how to handle failure!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to a bonus podcast from Jono and Ben on The Hits. There's winners and losers, aren't there in sport? And there's winners and losers in life, Ben, and we are one of those. We'll let you decide which category we fall under. But, you know, dealing with loss can be hard, even as an adult. I mean, I lost my hair. I'm still coming to terms. Still dealing with that, aren't you, every day?

Yeah, from the parenting place we catch up with her every now and then, the wonderful Holly Jean Brooker. How are you? Yeah, I'm good, thank you. How are you guys? I'm good. Every time I talk to you, I have to resist the urge to start singing Michael Jackson. And I do it.

Don't worry, I've had that a lot. I've had that a lot. We're in the Tauranga region. Of course, the AIMS Games are going on at the moment. Lots of kids, over 10,000 kids playing in these sporting events over the next few days. And obviously, there's going to be winners and there's going to be losers. How do you deal with that going into this, especially at a young age? Yeah, it's so cool that you guys are down there.

I think AIMS is an amazing opportunity for kids to kind of experience, I guess, sports at an elite level. And often, there's a real focus on results. And sometimes, we can lose the joy of the competition because we're so focused on winning or losing. I think that it's great when we can talk to our kids about winning

and losing and it does kind of suck to lose. It doesn't feel very good. There has to be a loser and there has to be a winner. It's great when we can share a time that if we are talking about losing, if we can share a time that we did lose when we were younger and we were gutted about it and, you know, how

it felt. Yeah, I know that my daughter's team, she used to come down and play for netball, but they had a bit of a team, you know, got together all the kids and then they were like, okay, well, what are ways that we can kind of feel like it was a success even if the results don't go our way? And they were kind of like, well, if we have a great week together,

we make new friends, we hang out together. Those things can be, you know, classes of success, not just results on the netball court or the hockey field or wherever they're playing. Not as good as a medal. Yeah. We all know why we're here, mate. Really funny.

But I was like, that's kind of cool. And they all, as a team, all came up with their own ways. It could go, oh, that'd be cool if, you know, this would be classes of success. You're right, as a team, all came up with their own ways that they could go, oh, that'd be cool. This would be classed as a success. You're right, Jono, it's not winning. But other ways you can deem things as success. Yeah, I think that's spot on. I think that that's something that, you know,

as parents we can do with our kids just after their sport games or even practices or, you know, while you're down there at AIMS. How did you feel out there today? What did you most enjoy about the game? And then it's also reflecting on the other people in the team. Because often you are in a team dynamic. Who tried really there today? What did you most enjoy about the game? And then it's also reflecting on the other people in the team. There's often you are in a team dynamic. Who tried really hard today? It's really cool when

we can honour other people in the team and kind of see their progress and call out the gold in them as well. It's important to lose. That's what I always say to my son. You need to have your arse kicked from time to time in life. You know, Ben and me, couple of losers, we've been having our arse kicked for a long time now.

One day we might win something. But it's important to learn how to handle that loss emotionally and use it as a positive thing and drive you on to your next game or your next challenge. Absolutely. Yeah, I think teaching kids to win and lose graciously is really key. We have this family rule where, you know, when we play board games or we play soccer outside,

we have to say congratulations to the winner and great game to the loser. And sometimes when I win, I show off and I do a victory dance. Good on you. It's okay to do that. But, you know, we've got to teach our kids that, hey, well done, you did good, and also acknowledge that it's okay to feel great when you win, and it's also awesome when you can compliment

the people that didn't win. When does it stop though? I mean obviously we talked about great to find other ways to mark success in a team environment and making friendships but a couple of weeks ago we wouldn't have had that if the All Blacks had come out and go hey we didn't beat Argentina but jeez we had a fun week making friends.

Ben doesn't start being serious, I know what you're saying. We're all getting along, we're all like on Facebook. Holly, Jean Booker from theparentingplace.nz You guys have a lot of great stuff for parents to check out and of course

this about winners and losers, you've got some stuff up there right now, right? Yep, we do. We've got a great article by Ali Gwilym on winning and losing. There's a few other articles up there as well.