Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - BONUS PODCAST: Introducing "The Montoyas"

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

*Warning - Bad Language Not For Small Ears* We've got a special guest in our podcast feed today! We're excited to share with you Producer Tayla's brand new podcast "The Montoyas". If you like what you hear, follow the podcast on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Follow: @themontoyaspodcast on TikTok and Instagram About the Podcast: Rugby League star Marcelo Montoya is a clean freak who makes sure everything in his life is ”just so”. His wife Tayla thrives on annoying her husband with her form of hilarious disorder, constantly keeping him on his toes. Once they start talking, the conversation could end up anywhere.     Join in as The Montoya’s lift the curtain on the life and relationship of Aussie imports assimilating into New Zealand as a newly married couple. Think Keeping Up with the Kardashians crossed with Modern Family and tune in for the podcast you never knew you needed.  About The Hosts: Tayla Montoya is an ex-cheerleader, and current radio producer for Jono and Ben on The Hits. Her roots are from a large Italian Australian family, with all the passion and fire that comes with that. Most importantly, she is like that friend at the BBQ that is constantly surprising the group with a new questionable take, internet-based obsession or just something to annoy her husband. Marcelo Montoya is a Fijian Australian professional rugby league player and brings insight into what it actually means to be a professional sportsman. He is a little bit bogan, and a whole lot of a perfectionist. He strives for everything in his life to be centered and deliberate so he can perform at the highest level, while contending with his wife’s need to try and throw him off balance.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey there, now we're trying a new thing today, just showcasing other podcasts on the iHeartRadio network that you made. Jesus, why are we doing that? Our one doesn't do anything. Clearly we've gone, oh no one likes our one, so there's other ones out there as well, and we're jumping on the bandwagon of other ones that we think are better than our one, right? Yeah, this seems like a... Riding the coattails of good podcasts, yeah. Controversial strategy to podcasting, but okay. Well this one is closer to home, yeah, with one of the people that work with us here on the Hits Breakfast.

Yeah, producer Taylor. Hey. Hey. Hey. Has got her own podcast. You and your husband, Marcelo Montoya, plays for the Warriors. Yes. What's it called?

The Montoyas. Aptly named? Yeah. Yeah. So this podcast that you guys are obviously doing together, talking about your life. Yes, marriage, tings, dogs, you guys. You guys actually get mentioned quite a lot.

Oh, do we? Do I get a mention specifically? Yes. You know what we talked about actually? Do you guys remember that day I was in a foul mood? Like I know every day. Today? Yeah.

No, I'm kidding. And I was on, it was like 5 a.m. And I told you that I just was on the motorway and I had a phlegm cough attack. And I spat phlegm out the window and it came back in the car. And then you guys were the first people I see at the car park. And you're like, hey, Tay, how are you? I was like, not today. Yeah, not today.

You're talking about that. That's on there. That's on there. Because I've seen some highlights of it. It looks really good. Thank you. You know, what we love about you is you just say what you're thinking, right? Yes.

A lot of like F-bombs. A lot of F-bombs. How much of that is related to us? Because you don't see the context. Oh, well, yeah. Yeah, you guys cop a few F-bombs, yeah. Okay, all right. Or like, it'll be like nice things.

Like, God, they're effing legends. You swear so much that the sense is like i can't even be bothered censoring the f box so it's just all raw yeah my husband was like it feels mean that they've cut all those together she doesn't swear that much does she and i'm like so can i just say they sent me the unedited version yeah and i was like um you're gonna need to absolutely cut these down because this is too much for me. And I have my nephews that follow me on Instagram. So this is things we know about Marcelo is obviously very good at his job,

but also very clean. Yes. Huge clean freak around the house. He'll vacuum up the kitchen after every meal. Two hours a night after dinner. And he's quite private too with regards, doesn't have social media. So this is a a real insight into your relationship i know i've whored him out against his will he did not want to do this and i said please for me it's about time i got out there okay you've got a name i've got shit all yeah so um yeah against his will he's come on board i want a free coffee club discount

the first episode we're going to play for you right now it's released every Thursday as well you can catch up with all the episodes on iHeartRadio or wherever you get

your podcasts and you check out the socials as well at the Montoya oh sorry at the Montoya's podcast on Instagram and TikTok

here it is episode one what do we have to look forward to in this one a wild sex story that my brother walked in on us

okay oh you've told me this one are you telling this one. You've told me this one. Are you telling this one? No, I'm not. Oh, my goodness. Wow.

Wow. Okay. All right. Here we go. This is an iHeartRadio New Zealand podcast. One of your sons or daughters is going to knock on our door and say, Dad, I'm not sure what she's insinuating there. A bit of infidelity.

I've got show and tell for you today. The rice cooker's gone too. Where's the rice cooker then? It's done. You know, I was up on the couch, leg up, ass up. It was good back then. But it's not good now? Nah, it's pretty textbook shit now.

Hello, my love. Hi. How's it going? Good. How are you? I'm good. This is fun. It's awesome.

This is the Montoya's podcast. Who would have bloody thought? Great set up here. Yeah. Thanks to our team, Adam, producer Adam. Adam Balmana. Nice. Call him Poms.

Do you? Nice. Are you guys on that friendship basis already? I hope so. I got left out of that, so it's nice that you're getting him on your side. Yes. So, yeah, did you ever think you'd be on a podcast one day? I didn't think I'd be on a podcast.

However, when you think about it, I can talk a bit of shit. Absolutely. I back that to the day. So eventually down the track, someone would have called that out and said, hang on, Mars, I think maybe we should get you on a potty with someone else. I didn't think it would have been my wife. Yeah, because I got this for us.

You did? Yeah, I did. I work in radio, right, at the Hits, great, great station, and we own iHeartRadio. Well, we don't own, sorry. The company, the Hits doesn't own iHeartRadio. Well, we don't own, sorry. The company, the hits doesn't own iHeartRadio. So you own them, you own them. No, the company we work for owns both the hits and iHeartRadio

and then they obviously noticed my natural ability to talk shit. Well, they obviously realised my ability as well because they wanted me to be on this podcast. So this is so weird. No, they were like, who's an easy get? Oh, her husband. And that's how it went. Not really. No, absolutely absolutely i was in conversation well from what i believe they did troll a few

other people and how'd that go really good actually i think we need to revisit those ideas so who's sitting here me yeah okay and who's that and who's so fucking good aren't you and whose last name is it mine and mine actually fun? Actually, fun fact, this is actually all a lie because I'm not, my real name isn't even Taylor Montoya. In Australia it is but our marriage is only recognised in Australia, not in New Zealand. So pretty much I got us the gig then. No, you fuckwit.

That's just your last name. Yeah, well, guess what? It's on the potty. It should be the Montoya and the Lombardi. That's my maiden name. Well, it's the Montoyas and guess what? You can have your name. Yeah, well, guess what? It's on the potty. It should be the Montoya and the Lombardi. That's my maiden name. Well, it's the Montoyas. And guess what? You can have your last name. You're on a lot of Montoya in New Zealand, so it pretty much is mine. You can have your last name.

Your last name comes with a lot more baggage than Lombardi. I can fucking preach to that. Say it's my podcast. You know if you go to Italy and you say Lombardi, you'll be treated like royalty. Now, Lombardi in Italy is like what Smith is in Australia. Everyone's called Lombardi.

Smith. Yeah, Smith is a popular surname in Australia. Whereabouts in Italy, the whole of Italy? Well, my family is from, oh, my dad's going to kill me if I get this wrong. I'm pretty sure my dad is from like Lazio, which is near Rome. It's like a town or something near there And then my mum's from the north

They were from an island which is now known as Malilosin Your grandparents My grandparents and my mum Well obviously if my grandparents are from there my mum's from there Your grandfather But now it's Croatian It's Croatian land Nonna's not from there Who? Nonna No Nonna is actually born in Egypt But now it's Croatian It's Croatian land They wanted

Nonna's not from there Who? Nonna No Nonna is actually Born in Egypt Yeah Nonna was from there Yeah Your mum's from

Condor Park Yeah but with an Italian Like her blood Her blood is Italian Okay Well I could say The same thing about you You're Fijian

But you're actually From Campbelltown. But I was born in Fiji. You weren't born in Italy, were you? I'm not saying me. Well, you're referring to me from that angle. How do you go from Fiji to Campbelltown? Tell us how you got there.

That's quite – no, I'm being dead serious. That's interesting. That's how it happened. How? You fucking woke up in Fiji and then the next day woke up in Campbelltown? See, everyone in Australia, especially in Sydney, oh, Westies, Westies, man. I grew up, I'm proud Westie, mate.

Proud. I'm not telling you. I'm not. How did your family get to Fiji, to Campbelltown? I don't know. Like what was? We flew over from. I'm not talking about the mode of transport.

I mean, what was the thought process? Fuck. We flew from Fiji. Not everything's a fight. I'll ring your mum up and ask then. Call her. So how old were you before you moved to Australia? Three years old.

Thank you. So there had to be something within those three years that said to your mum, I want to move to Australia. Hang on, hang on. I'm a mind reader. You don't know? I don't know. You've never asked your mum?

I was three years old, Tate. Yeah, but you're 28 now. So I'm sure in the last 26 years the question has come up. I asked my dad why his family moved to Australia. Yeah, but you asked a lot of questions. Yeah, because I'm intrigued. And also I've actually never got a straight answer

out of my granddad why they moved to Australia. They said to chase a better life but Italy's pretty fucking good. So dodged stuff there. My mum likes to say, my mum likes to say that both my dad and my granddad have millions of kids out there

unaccounted for. They like to play the field. She says, one of these days, Ange, that's my dad's name, Ange, one of your sons or daughters is going to knock on our door and say, dad, and I'm not putting up with that shit. So I'm not sure what she's insinuating there, a bit of infidelity, but hey, well, here's the story. Seeing as this is the first episode, I thought what better story to tell everyone to get to know us more, right? So do you remember the time when... Do you remember the time...

Oh, MJ. See? Is that MJ? Yeah? Oh, MJ. See? Is that MJ? Yeah. Yeah, cute. When, oh, I'm getting a dead leg. Sorry, Louis. It's not all about you right now, Mr. Anal Gland Boy.

It would have been like a year into us dating officially. Don't give him the finger. Fuck him. A year into us dating officially and mum and dad were out and you were at my house and no one was home. Luke, my oldest brother, he was also out at the races. He went somewhere. Yeah, he was at the races.

Yeah, because he was in his suit. Yeah, and we were in the back room watching a movie and as you do when you're that young and in love, movie turns into more of a Netflix and chill moment. Yeah. Read my mind. And the back room, to paint a picture to everyone, because you'd want a picture of this. The TV's on the wall, couch up against the wall as well, opposite wall.

Huge window. Window doesn't go to anywhere, just the backyard. Garage door. And the garage door. So no one's home, so no one's going to see anything. Not the actual garage door but the door to get into the garage. Into the garage, so yeah. Only if you were to drive in the garage and you park your car

and you walk out of the garage door, you would see a display that's going on in the back room. And so we were Netflix and chilling, all sorts of Netflix and chilled positions. We'll be cheeky. This was back when you were adventurous, I'd say I'm not adventurous anymore You were a young 20-year-old full of testosterone

I'm still full of testosterone now Still trying to impress me, I guess You know, still the deal So I was up on the couch, down on the couch. Leg up, ass up. You know, it was good back then. It's not good now? No, it's pretty textbook shit now.

You know, it's more about time. Now, when you've been married, well, we've been together ten years, nine years this year. You just get in, get out. It's more about the ending. Get the job done. Yeah. No, it's about time to look each other in the eyes. I couldn't stand looking into your eyes. Why? I'm a lights off gal now, you know. Back then, and I mentioned the lights were fucking on back then because I liked my body back then. Anyhoo, so yeah, it was very vulnerable positions,

very vulnerable positions. And I know we were probably like seven minutes into the full act and again back then we'd have been probably going for half an hour. You feel like you are, but you're not. And I remember being, I was standing on top of the couch and you were standing on the floor. So our two, what would you say, like two body parts were equal to each other to make it work and I remember hearing

the garage door open and making direct fucking eye contact with my brother we all did right yeah you did too actually because you were looking the same direction it was so bad and I literally fucking died and I fell to the floor and I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. I had a T-shirt in between my legs and I quickly put that on. I know, disgusting. And we sit on the couch and Luke walks in and goes. I'm sweating.

Yeah, you're sweating. I'm rock solid sitting there. And he's sitting there and I'm saying, oh. And he walks in and he goes, were you two just having sex? Did I just catch you two having sex? Yeah, and then he goes, listen, guys, listen, I'll keep my mouth shut, I promise, but mask. And he dropped me off to Cronulla.

Yeah. Because he was going out. Yeah. And we were like done. He was going to funeral or whatever. Done. I said, yeah, I'll drop you off as long as you don't say anything to your parents. Literally. Because, like, even though we were of age. He was going to funeral or whatever. Done. I said, yeah, I'll drop you off as long as you don't say anything to your parents. Literally.

Because like even though we were of age and boyfriend and girlfriend, that's not fucking nice to tell your parents, obviously. Yeah, it's not nice at all. Obviously, yeah. And so he goes, he gets changed. Me and you were like, fuck, disgusting, but dodged a bullet. You know, it's all good. It stays in the fams.

And we give him a lift to Cronulla. All done. All done. Yeah. Then the next morning, mum and dad come home and we're all sitting at breakfast. Yeah, they went for a walk. Yeah, they went for a walk and we're all chilling at the kitchen table. And I was like, didn't even remember it really because I was like, whatever, it's in the back of my mind.

And out of nowhere, Luke goes, Sue Ange, that's my parents' name. As soon as he said their names, I knew. Did you? Oh, I knew because I felt sick. Yeah. I felt sick and I just went, here we go. He goes, guess what I seen Tane Mars doing last night? And my dad being so innocent, I'm like, no, I didn't.

They go, oh, what? What were you guys up to last night? And he goes, they were fucking in the back room. And then I was like, I remember my dad dropped his cutlery. He goes, oh, for fuck's sake, Luke. And then you literally just went red and quiet. And then my mum out of nowhere goes, well, at least someone in this house is getting something.

And that is fucking feral. That story, it never gets old. But you know what never gets old? You never know what's going to come out of your brother's mouth when he speaks. It's terrifying. When he says something, you just go, you just sit down and go, what's going to come out of his mouth now?

Yeah. It's terrifying. But that story. And then after that, I realised with your family, everything was open. Yeah. Yep. That's it. Like family everything was open. Yeah. Yep. That's it. Like.

Everything was just out there and I was like, that's not normal. Yeah, nothing's off guards. Like we go to the toilet with the door open. Dad will fucking be naked in the bathroom and not shut the door and I'll walk up the stairs and see his ass right fucking there. You see my dad's ass plenty of times. Yeah, plenty of times. Yeah.

Nice ass, Ange. He wishes. Actually, no, he's got a swimmer's ass. What's that mean? He's swum his whole life. Yeah, someone has a swimmer's ass. So they, like, have a nice shaped body, wear big shoulders, small waist, small ass.

Really? That's what Sue says at least, yeah. Oh, Sue thinks she's a gymnast. She thinks she's a soccer player. She thinks she knows the weather. Yep. That's one thing about your parents that I love when we're over their house. Yeah, they know when a southerly is here.

As soon as the breeze comes in, oh. That's that southerly soon. Open the windows. The southerly's here. Anything to avoid not turning the air con on. They will go to the fucking heights to not turn the air con on. 30-degree day. They've looked up when the breeze is coming in.

Literally. Oh, suddenly he's going to hit Marcelo in about two hours so we can hold off, we can hold out. Do you remember when you did start sleeping over at our house and there's some fucking hot days in Sydney, 40 degrees, and overnight it is just hell. And I remember you going to my mum and dad, you go, Sue, Aunt, I beg you, I will pay the energy bill.

Just please turn the fucking air on. And they look at each other and go, it's not that bad, is it? Jo, hon, have you got the window open? And then like it's rich coming from me because when I was young we never had air con in our house. Yeah. When you're training it's like, man, you need it. Yeah, but this is the perfect difference between our family

and your family, right, my family and your family. Your family, like very working class, especially like you growing up, your mum worked three fucking jobs to put you guys in school, give you the best life ever, but you wouldn't know that you went, like you wouldn't know if you were struggling or anything because your mum made sure you guys always had a lot of food, always bought you the Nike shoes you wanted, right? She just would shut up and work the extra shifts. But no air con.

No air con. And home brand Nutella, as you say all the time. My fucking family, mate, like God knows the financial strains they had, but it was like we were fucking poor, living paycheck to paycheck on Struggle Street. I remember when bananas, there was a cyclone in Queensland, so bananas were really fucking expensive. My dad said, this is your last banana. We're not having these for months.

I said, well, why can't we have bananas, Dad? No air con. Every time there's a power switch off straight away, I'd go to use the microwave. Dad, the microwave's broken. No, I've just turned it off at the power point, turn it back on. But I need this every fucking hour. Stop turning it off from the switch.

It's a clever way to save money. My mum used to do that as well. However, I think like when you get to an age, and you were working as well, but in saying that as well, you never really paid any board at home. Bullshit. I paid board as soon as I got my first full-time job. In your parents' defence, right, in their defence, and I don't want to label you here but I don't care,

your board was $50 a month. You're fucking lying. It was $50 a fortnight. It wasn't a month. It was a fortnight. It was a month. It was $100 a month because I remember saying, fuck, this is going to set me back.

It was a month, $50 a month and I can run it back with your mother. And how much was your board? Well, mate, at some stage I was paid the whole electricity bill sometimes. Good, so you should because you would have been playing PlayStation. It doesn't matter. You would have been in the bathroom using the power. You would have been downstairs with your straight and all that kind of stuff. Whatever.

So, mate, just bring yourself right back down, please? Fuck you. Fuck you and your shit. I ain't coming for a lecture. It's the truth. We had to, did you have Foxtel growing up, which is like Sky? Yes. Yeah, you did?

Yeah, we had to beg and beg and I remember we only, Dad said you will only get the basic channels. And I remember one time Foxtel fucked up and we out of nowhere got Disney and it was like Christmas. I remember seeing like Suite Life of Zack and Cody for the first time. But sometimes they give you those, like they give you a deal. In school holidays times they'll say, oh, we'll give you these channels. Oh, okay.

Because I remember one time Dad got the bill and Fox still had gone up like $2 and he rang them and said, I'm fucking cancelling, I'm cancelling. And then they, yeah, because he just threatens them and then they go, okay, Ange, we'll put you back on the plan you were on and we'll keep your plan and we won't cancel. And he'll, yeah, for $2. Well, that's, yeah, that's why they live really comfortably now because all those sacrifices they made.

They don't, they struggle every day. They live like they're struggling. The power bills. I don't know what they're saving up for. The power bills, the Foxtel bills, that's why they can put their feet up here and they're not at work every day. So it's a credit to them. Cool. Why don't you credit to them. Cool.

Why don't you go marry them? No, thank you. I'll pop in here and there, though. Yeah, nice. Yep, yep, nice. Um, yeah, I'm just thinking, all this chat has got me thinking about the first time you met my family. What were your first impressions?

Beautiful people. No, bullshit. What do you mean? Bullshit. I remember we were dating for like six months. Yeah. And then you finally asked me to be your girlfriend on New Year's Eve. In the most anticlimactic way, may I just say,

I picked you up from the airport because you had just landed from Fiji. It was New Year's Eve. We were stuck in traffic on the M4 because we were going out Parramatta. Yeah. Yeah. And you go, oh, do you want to be my girlfriend? Is that? Yeah, you said that.

And I was like, oh, well, that was a bit shit. You know what I mean? You fucking do it. I was like, well, there goes the romance. And then I remember saying to you, where the fuck's your luggage? You've just been away for three weeks. And you're like, I just left it all there. That's how it works.

So you leave everything there. Everything. Except the clothes that you wear. Yeah. Yeah, fair enough. So you go there with a full bag, all your clothes, and then when you come back you leave everything there because all your cousins, all my cousins took everything.

Yeah, no wonder we haven't been back then because I ain't doing that. No, I'm kidding. I'd be very strategic. If we go there, mate, you'll be coming back with nothing. Yeah. What? Because, yeah, it's so different over there. Like how much is protein powder over there?

I don't know. I remember a stat, reading a stat of protein powder in Fiji. Well, maybe. When did you see this? I don't know. I remember a stat, reading a stat of protein powder in Fiji. When did you see this? I don't know. But I remember seeing it was like $400 or something. For protein powder? Yeah. Am I talking absolute shit?

I don't know. Yeah, I must be because if you're looking shocked, the only person I would have heard that from is you. I'm more shocked about what you're looking at. That's about protein powder in Fiji. No, it must have come up on my For You page or something. Oh. Can I just say?

What's For You? What? What's For You page? Are you for real? Yeah. On like social media, like TikTok and Instagram, there's a button that says For You and you like click it and the algorithm sends you videos that it thinks you'll like.

So like if I was your For You page, it would be like cars, Volkswagens. What else are you into? Audis. Yeah, like the most boring shit ever. Mine, it's sausage, dogs and outfits. See how social media, they get you back on. Yeah. That's how they get you hooked.

It's the most biggest drug addiction. It's a pandemic of its own. You know what? That's what you're stuck on, on. Yeah. That's how they get you hooked. It's the most biggest drug addiction. It's a pandemic of its own. That's what, you know what, that's what you're stuck on, on your phone. That's your quality time. But that's what I'm saying. And that's what social media gets you on, hooked on everything. We don't need to do quality time anymore. We have this one hour a week.

That's more than enough. Perfect. That is absolutely amazing. But, yeah, when you first came over after six months of waiting, asking me out, and I remember you messaged me in your car saying, hey, I'm out the front. And I was like, oh, well, if we're dating now, like officially, you need to come inside and meet my mum and dad.

And you were like, oh, no, I'm going to just have a sleep in my car until you're ready to come out. I was like, get the fuck in the house before my mum comes out and bashes the fuck out of you. And I remember you walked in and my parents were watching The Sopranos. I don't know if that was like a fucking thing, like a threat to send you. And then, yeah, the rest is history. I remember that.

Yeah, they were nice people, eh? Yeah, but when I walked in, what did she say? What were we doing? We were going on a date? We were going to go to the movies, yeah. That's all we used to do back then, movies and dinner. Such innocent times. Now we just fight.

No, we don't. Yeah. When? Always. You're always excited to criticise. Well, it's honest feedback, isn't it? Oh, shut the fuck up. I don't care about your honest feedback.

Stop saying that to me. I'm not one of your fucking colleagues. I don't want to hear your honest feedback. That's the way it should be. Okay, well, you know what, honestly. That's how a healthy relationship lasts, honest feedback. Hit the nail on the head. No, but you're so blunt.

And hit the nail on the head right then and there. No one holds on to it. There's no baggage. There's no one bottles anything up. You empty it then and there and it's done. I would love to one day compare how you guys talk to each other at training to the way we talk to each other in a corporate setting. Why?

Honest feedback is far and wide to come by, mate. In what do you mean? In a corporate setting, regardless of what job you're in. Say it in a way that I'll understand. Everyone beats around the bush. Oh, not in the out, mate. Yeah, yours is quite savage. Well, the thing about us is it's a high-pressure environment.

So is radio. Yeah, well, then. No, I'm just kidding. It's not high pressure. No, no one's listening. No one cares. Yeah, I think the difference between radio. Yeah, people watch you guys.

Yeah, but people listen as well. Yeah, I've been sprayed so many times on the radio. Yeah, but I feel like when you guys sign a contract, like if you're on Breakfast Radio, that's your contract, right? Yep. For us, you sign the contract, but you still got to fulfil that, just to play in a row. Well, it's like that, it's like that, oh, do you mean like you could get dropped

one week and then, yeah. If you're on Breakfast Radio, they don't go, no, this week you're going to go on Afternoon Radio. Yeah, true. That's a good point. But they might not get their contract renewed in three years, but, yeah, at least they've got that seat for the three years. But they've got three years on the seat.

Yeah, that's true. And lock it happen in three years. Yep. With us, as soon as, you know, if the coach doesn't want you to play or thinks you're in bad form, gone. Yeah, gone. And that's where that honest feedback comes into play, hey? It has to be.

Yeah. Nice. And that's why I bring it home. I think it's important. I don't think you should bring it home. I think it's important. Because guess what? This is for life, baby.

Ain't nobody here getting relegated. Yeah, but still. Well, sometimes I'm relegated to the doghouse. Always. You're about to after this too. Have you ever given me honest feedback and I've ever taken it on board? I don't know. Yeah, you have.

You have. It doesn't sound like me. I don't do well with toxic leadership. That's not toxic leadership. I don't do well with authority. How have you not toxic leadership. I don't do well with authority. Hang on, that's exceeding life if you're not honest. No, I believe in honesty. I don't like being told what to do, how to act, what to think, yeah.

But I don't do that. In every single job I've had, I do not respond well to a boss and that's why I'm hoping this fucking podcast goes somewhere because there ain't not many jobs left there for me out there. I think you'd respond to a boss that was honest with you. I appreciate my current boss at the hits but, again, radio is such a different. I used to work at the airport.

I had a micromanager and we had some words. Yeah, I don't do well with stuff like that. Yeah, that's why when you tell me what to do, I rebel. Yeah. Yeah. So you tell me to flush the toilet, I won't flush it out of spite. That's what's different. Like even for me too, like I was talking to Leon.

Leon's my best mate the other day and he's going through a job change and he was asking me for advice and I'm saying, bro, I'd... Why the fuck's he doing that? He should call me. I've never had to work. Like in a... I mean, I know how to go for an interview for a job. When you're...

Because I've always... Well, not always, but... It's different. And not saying it to be an arsehole. Like I worked hard to get where I am. Yeah. But in saying that, it's... I think, like I don't have to go to a job interview. I've always played, I played in a row, but then.

When you are off, when you were off contract, you had to go for an interview. Yeah. Yeah. So that's an interview. Yeah, but it's different, right? Because I've got a manager that negotiates. Yeah. The stipulations of my contract.

Yeah, you don't have to look like the bad guy. Where he was, you know, like he's trying to negotiate his own money, how much is he going to be on, how much is he going to ask for and I'm like, bro, that's scary, that's hard. Yeah. That's hard to do because you're your own, like, you know, you've got to go in there braveheart and say, no, I want this much. Yeah.

You know, where I've got someone that does it for me, you know. So that's, yeah. So I'm grateful to be, you know, to do what I do because I love what I do. But it's a lot different. Very insightful, Miles. It's nice to see this maturity come out of you. Yeah. Thanks for that, Toe.

Speaking of your job, speaking of your work, you're often away a lot of the time, which leaves me by myself at home with my best friend, Louis. Louis is sitting on my lap right now. He is a miniature dash hound. He's a beautiful, what colour would you say this is, red? Brownish red? Arsehole brown, I think. He is a bigger bitch than I am.

So you've been away for the weekend. Yes. Right. So I've been just having to cook for myself, which may I say is fucking amazing. My favourite part of you leaving this house every time is that I don't have to cook you three-course meals. And on Saturday night I opted for just some plain noodles with prawns and dumplings.

Yes. Quite a nice meal, I thought. And I had done all the cooking, right, and I thought because dumplings, they're easy. I just bought the ones in the packet. And it said, oh, for a tip. That's not cooking then. I didn't say I made them from scratch.

That's what you were alluding to. I'm not claiming to. I didn't make the noodles from scratch either. Just all packet food. Anyhow. Duka. You're duka. Can you explain what duka means?

Dirty. In what language? Fijian. Thank you. Nice to clear that up for the audience. Because not everyone speaks Fijian. All the Fijian listeners, Bulainaka.

So a tip on the packet said to make it really nice and crispy, boil them, like steam the dumplings in the fry pan over a lid, then take the lid off and then pan fry them in oil. And I was like, that sounds amazing. You know, two birds with one stone. So I've steamed them and I've gone, oh, they're nice and squishy. I'll take the lid off and pan fry them. And then that was it.

I put them in a plate. You happened to call me. You FaceTimed me. Yes. We had a lovely chat. For how long would you say that was on Saturday night? An hour? I called you a few times.

Yeah, you did. You did. So I can't remember. Well, the long one. 40 minutes maybe. Yeah, 40 minutes minimum. So yeah, I enjoyed that chat with you. Yeah? Yeah. You burnt them. No, we've gotten off the phone and I've looked around the house and gone,

why is the house filled with smoke? And I'm looking everywhere thinking, what's happened? What's on fire? Look out, Louie Louie's passed out from smoke. He's on a diet. And I've gone to the stove. What do you reckon's happened? You left the stove on.

Yeah, with the fry pan still on top of the stove. Yeah, and what, with the dumplings in there? No, I had eaten the dumplings. So, what, you just left it on? Yeah. And the pan was cooking? Yeah. So, you know those nice fry pans you spend a lot of money on just recently?

One of them's completely fucking right on. Are you serious? Yeah, I've got it downstairs. I've been hiding it from you since you got home. Yeah. Sorry. They're expensive. I know.

And it's charcoal black now. And I tried to scrub. I tried to scrub so hard. Should I go get it? Yeah. Okay. I'll be back. I'll be back. You just keep the audience company.

I'll be two seconds. Oh. And you know what the funny thing about that is? She sprayed me for going and spending all that money on buying them. Yeah. She got upset at me. Oh, Mars, why are you spending this much money on buying it? And then bang, she fucks it.

You can show me because you know what? It could be completely broken or it could just be Fijian broken. Yeah, like remember how I broke the rice cooker? Did you break that as well? I told you I left it on. Yeah, like remember how I broke the rice cooker? You broke that as well. I told you I left it on. Sorry, I'm out of breath. I left the rice cooker on the stove and the stove was on and it melted through the whole bottom.

That's why we haven't had rice in ages. Anyhow. The rice cooker's gone too. Where's the rice cooker then? It's done. It's done. It's completely broken. Where's the rice cooker then? It's done. It's done. It's completely broken. There's the fry pan.

So, yeah, I tried scrubbing that. It won't come out. That looks like a big black hole. Yeah. So is that Fijian broken or is that broken broken? It's Fijian broken. I'm not using it. Taylor.

I know. Soz. But, like, don't FaceTime me during dinner. No, no, no. You can't blame me for this. No, no, no, you can't blame me for this. No, because you do. You can't blame me for this. You should look at the time and go, okay, in Brisbane it's, what, four, so it's six in New Zealand.

I'm not going to call her because I know she's eating. You can't blame me for this because, you know, you've got to be responsible. When I'm away. Yes, Dad. No, no, it's not even about Dad. You know, you've got to be responsible. When I'm away. Yes, Dad. No, no, it's not even about Dad. You know, you've got to be responsible. Like that's ridiculous.

That's an expensive fry. Well, okay, and this is the lesson. Don't buy stupid fucking expensive shit. Because I'm just going to break it. No, we needed those because those can go in the oven. That's why we bought those ones. That's why I spend that money. You know what?

I think the lesson in this is I think I should give my chef hat to you and you should cook me dinner from now on because since you're so perfect and you won't ruin everything and you can cook rice in a rice cooker and you know how to cook fucking all these luxes and curries that I've never tasted in my fucking life, all you can do is lay them on the barbecue. That is not cooking. Which is fair.

That's cooking. No, it's not. You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I do. Maybe I do cook those things. Yeah, bring your mum up since she's an amazing cook and get her to teach you. The one thing I'll know if I do cook, I won't burn the frying pan.

Well, we'll wait and see. How you talk a big game for someone that's never fucking done it before. And guess what? I won't break my rice cooker either. Really? Well, you'll have to buy a new one first because it's gone. She's done. I threw it out when you went home.

Did you actually throw it? It was broken. We could kill ourselves if I kept using it. That was from Brisbane. And guess what? They sell them in New Zealand too. You know you can make rice on a stove. I'm telling your mum. You don New Zealand too. You know you can make rice on a stove. I'm telling your mum.

I'm telling your mum. You don't need a rice cooker. You can make rice on a stove in a pot. I'm telling your mum this. I don't care. Tell her. I'm scared of my mum. That's why she didn't.

Fucking 27 years old. I rule my own world. Did you tell her about this already? I told her about that. She was laughing. Yeah, well, no wonder why she didn't charge me for the Dyson filter. Yeah. Mum's getting us shipped a Dyson filter because we can't get them in New Zealand.

So on the topic of you being away and me nearly killing the house and the fry pans and the rice cookers and all that. Yeah. The rice cooker was months ago. What do you mean months ago? When I broke that. I just haven't told you because I'm like we haven't needed to have rice yet. So it really doesn't.

Yeah, well, that's why you've just been cooking the orzo then. Yeah. She's nicer anyways. It's like an Italian rice, so it's fine. In the corporate world at the moment, it is flu season and it is rampant. It's running rampage. I don't flu season and it is rampant. It's running rampage. I don't know if anyone. Running rampage.

Is that the same? Running rampage. Is that the correct term? Yes. I see you. I'm smart. Mr English. Well, it's running amok around the office.

Just say rampant. No, because once you correct me, I don't like knowing that you were right, so I just move on. And I, at the moment, my throat's fucked. Our producer Adam's got a mask on because he doesn't want to get us more sick. You guys, like I probably got this off you because. What?

No, I did. You were on the Lemsips this weekend. You and your fucking team, it's like being married to you is like being married to a kid in daycare. You bring that much shit home and then I just cop it. It's exhausting. Oh, well, put up with it, mate. I remember when Ringworm was going around.

It's been everywhere. It goes everywhere. It's been everywhere. Who the fuck starts that? It's just because when you sweat a lot and we wrestle, and because we wrestle, that's how it spreads. Hmm. Yeah.

Feral. Yeah, I took down a whole department last year with the flu because you, Tohu, had a really bad flu. Tohu gave it. And then he gave it to you and then you gave it to me and then I coughed on Mania at work from the ACC. He literally took down his whole department, the iHeartRadio department.

And then I said, sucked in. That was Tohu's fault. It was. It all goes back to that. We've got to think. We fly every second week. Yeah. We're travelling.

We're on the plane. Mainly when we're coming back from games, you know, like you're coming back, the body's still recovering. The body's at a low in terms of how it's feeling. Like we've just played 80 minutes and flogged ourselves on the footy field. Yeah. So it's like the immune system's low and then we get on a plane

with all these people and then they're all like someone's sick on the plane, boom, pass it to one of us and we just hand it out. I know. It's beautiful, let me tell you that. Love it. Can't wait being sick every fucking second week. Well, it sucks. Yeah.

But it is what it is, mate. Because then you're always like to me when you feel it coming on, you're like go sleep in the spare room. But I can't. I can't fall asleep without you there. Then how do you sleep when I'm away? The dog. Well, sleep with him in the spare room.

Yeah, I don't like to do that when you're in the house. Why? Because I know you're judging. I'm not. And then I have to clean the sheets the next day and I don't do that when you're not around. It's just easier to avoid. Yeah, but it doesn't make sense.

If you want to sleep in a spare room with him, just sleep in there with him. Oh, you'd allow that? Yeah, if you're sick. Because then otherwise I'll make you sicker, then you try to act tough and the next day you're spraying me. I never act tough. I milk that shit to the bone, and the next day you're spraying me. I never act tough. I milk that shit to the bone, baby.

So, yeah, that was fun. Did you like that? Did you have fun? Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah. I just want to mention as well one thing. It's really at the top of my head and I need to get off my chairs. We've been watching this Netflix show called Listing Manhattan

or Buying Manhattan or some shit. Owning Manhattan. Owning Manhattan. Owning Manhattan. It's another real estate show. If I see one more fucking real estate show come up on Netflix, I don't even know why I'm complaining because I watch them all, but there's like Selling Sunset, Buying Beverly Hills, This Swamp, Selling Houses Australia, Selling Tampa.

What the fuck is everyone's obsession with real estate shows? I feel like it's because everyone can relate, right? In what way? They're like million-dollar homes. No one can relate to that. Yeah, well, some people like to dream about that stuff as well and watch it and go, man, that's nice. Yeah, because you love it.

I love it. But then what I hate is people watch that show and go, oh, my God, I'm going to be a real estate agent because it's that much, it's that easy to make commissions. For someone who's a sister of a real and go, oh, my God, I'm going to be a real estate agent because it's that easy to make commissions. For someone who's a sister of a real estate agent, again, my beautiful brother Luke with the foul mouth, it's fucking hard. Mate, it's a great point you make, but it's like that with everything, you know. You get the trolls on that, oh, and then the trolls that want to play footy

or the ones online that want to spray people online. Oh, do this, do that. Mate, there's a reason why you're sitting back and you're typing on your computer or on your phone because you're shit. You could never do it. Is this about real estate or did we just hit a nerve? About people that think. That's like someone just got triggered because I was talking about houses.

Yeah, well, it's the same thing, all right? People that say, oh, I could sell that house. Oh, okay. People that say, oh, I could sell that house. Oh, okay. People that say, oh, I could carry a ball. Yeah. I could catch that ball. Could you? Yeah.

Okay, so we're back there again. Could you? Well, guess what? You can't because you're not there. You haven't done it. Just shut your mouth. All right. Yeah, I say that about radio.

Exactly. I'm kidding. Anyone could literally get on my Catoxin. Anyone. Not really. You can. Look, you're doing it right now. I'm doing it right now. Yeah, but I'm funny. You're not. I'm not. This talk shit. Anyone. Not really. You can. Look, you're doing it right now. I'm doing it right now.

Yeah, but I'm funny. You're not. I'm not. This is shit. This is going nowhere. Who's going to listen to this? People are already depressed. This is going to make them more depressed.

Anyways, I think that's enough. Let's go out with a bang. Okay, bye. Ciao. Ciao. See you next week.