Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Can I eat food after expiration date?

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Wednesday 14th March Show Highlights... THINGS YOU CAN SAY IN THE BEDROOM AND...IN HOSPITAL  LILY ALLEN COMMENT  ABOUT HER KIDS WRECKING HER LIFE WHEN YOU IGNORED THE WARNING SIGNS?  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Thanks to Challenge, putting the service back into service stations. I thought something was burning. I was like, oh, the building's on fire. And then I realised it smells like fumes, like gas. It's like gas fumes, apparently. They're testing the generators on the roof, apparently. And that's next to the air conditioning. The intake for the air con, so it's like sucking in the fumes. Seems like a design flaw, doesn't it? Yeah. Apparently it's only going to go for another half half hour so we'll see how we go this morning.

Oh okay lovely so yeah carbon monoxide just for half an hour. Yes so unusual start to the day it's been an unusual week yeah John I was to say before Zach I've been dealing with a roller coaster of a sore arm that turned into an infection that turned into a fever there's all sorts of wild stuff going on how are you today by the way I hit the wall a little bit last night but I'm feeling okay this morning so yeah so just not quite a hundred yet but I'm getting there slowly but I did something weird and I wonder if it was to do with the fever as well because it's been a bit of a shambles at home just because you're not quite on top of everything you're not in routine yeah my wife's you're working as well we've had sick kids you're not quite on top of everything. You're not in routine. Yeah, my wife's working as well. We've had sick kids.

We're trying to get everything going at the same time. And so we've been sort of struggling to get through some of the food. We bought the supermarket, you know, sometimes. And that was frustrating me. I was like, there's food there that we haven't used because we've been all over the show. And so yesterday I made a quiche. I was like, what? And I was like, what?

I don't know. What kind of quiche? I don't know. I was like, there was food there. And I was like, what can I do of quiche? I was like, there was food there. I was like, what can I do with all this food that is like going to go off in a day or two? And then I thought of my mum. What would mum do? Mum would make a quiche. Now I've never made a quiche before in my life. It's actually surprisingly easy. Did you make one that had like pastry or did you make a self pastrying one or no pastry there was no pastry okay so it was just like self-raising flour in there as well but oh yeah that's like a self yeah yeah so i put some bacon puts the broccoli put some you know some tomato you're just stuff just stuff like a real

boomer that just wanted to get rid of stuff that was in the fridge yeah it actually turned out all right everyone was like what are you was like, what are you doing? The kids are like, why are you making a quiche? It's like grandma makes a quiche. And I'm like, yeah, all right. And it actually turned out surprisingly easy to do. I was like, man, am I so fever-induced that I'm making quiches or is this just me now? Am I of that boomer stage?

And are you still off the coffees? Yes, I haven't had a coffee for about four or five days. Who are you? You are grandma. Are you on teas? Yeah, yes. I haven't had a coffee for about four or five days. Who are you? You are grandma. Are you on teas? Yeah, that's my second tea this morning. Well, I need something. But I haven't, yeah, four or five days because normally I'd be like two, three, maybe four coffees a day depending on the day.

Wow. And I just haven't felt like it since I've been sick. So I'm like, well, why am I forcing myself to have coffee? And now I'm on, oh God. You're on a cup of tea and making a quiche. been sick so i'm like well why am i forcing myself to have coffee and now i'm on oh god i'm gonna have to have a lie down like my mom very shortly watch the chase as well the hits the jonah and ben podcast in america they're they're looking at banning tiktok uh so this has gone through like basically gone through their equivalent of government you know through uh through the houses of their parliament type thing. So they said in the House of Representatives over there that the Chinese-owned app, they'd sever ties with it

if China didn't sell its shares in the company. They're really worried about the data over there in America and China owning it. But, like, they've probably already got it, right? They've probably got your data by now. If they sell their shares in it and do whatever they're planning on doing they've still already got everyone in america's data that's been on tiktok right well you think too late you think yeah that yeah that ship has sailed right well

and truly tiktok's owners have said that repeatedly that uh they said it doesn't pose any threat and stuff but they've said in six months they're going to sign a law in America that they may ban TikTok if the shares aren't sold, which is wild and crazy. You always hear about like, yeah, they collect your data and all that kind of stuff. So like I look at things on TikTok, but I've never created an account because I'm like, I don't want them to have my data, but they've probably got it right anyway because I go on the app.

I don't know. I kind of feel like people got my data anyway. What are they going to do? A whole lot me photos of me pointing at products and stuff like that oh well if you want to use that you can use that that's why i don't i refuse to sign up for timu because i'm like no my data but then yeah i do lots of other things it is good i know it shouldn't be good but you're like this is all rubbish and then you look at the oh no actually this i could get this stuff i feel like i ask people all the time, like even down to some gold earrings. I'm like, where are they from?

They're like, Timo. I got onto TikTok quite early because one of my daughters in particular, Sienna, was into it. And so I was like, cool, I'll get onto TikTok as well. I think it was during one of the lockdowns or something. I was like, we had nothing to do. I was like, I'll do some TikTok. It's the future.

And Jono just mocked me. He's like, how is your dancing with 12-year-old girls, mate? You know, all that. And I'm like, it's not just dancing, mate. There's lots of other stuff. And so he kind of mocked me out of it. Like, I stopped doing it. Stopped posting for a while.

Stopped looking at it. And then about six months later, he was like, we really need to get into TikTok. It's the future. I was like, oh, hey. Says he, who can't even navigate Instagram. I know. He's always like, hey, how do I post multiple pictures? I know. he really is.

It's things you can say in the bedroom, dot, dot, dot. And every week we put a different scenario. Things you can say in the bedroom and in a hospital this week. We thought it was only fitting seeing as I spent a bit of time in hospital. Every week I'm like, there won't be any. And then you come through, you filthy mind. I know, so many comments last night.

Producer Brooke, who's filling in today, should we try and find some sexy music? We've got some sexy music there. We can try and run under this. Because this is things you can say in the bedroom and also in the hospital as well. Sometimes we'll give some shout outs, some creditations to some names, some people.

I don't know if they're all very sexy. Okay. All right. Brayden says, don't worry. We can fix that problem with a pill. That's true. You can fix that in the hospital. You can fix that in the bedroom as well.

That's true. We're losing her. Things you can say in the bedroom and in the hospital. All right. Bend over. Okay. Rebecca said, I'm getting a bit stiff. Okay. Okay. Remove your pants I'm getting a bit stiff. What?

Okay, remove your pants and let me take a look. It's very straightforward. Yeah, quite straightforward. Probably more the hospital than the bedroom, but hey, you know, it depends on your relationship. Things you can say in the bedroom and in the hospital. Open your mouth and say, ah. Natasha said, I've got a headache, which is a good, you know, that's a good one.

Things you can definitely say in the hospital in the bedroom. Do you want to lie down on the bed there? You may feel a small prick. Oh, God. Sasha said, I can barely feel that. Then we've got, okay, open wide. Good Lord. Things you can say in the bedroom and in the hospital.

Okay, that looks infected. That's what I got said in the hospital. Not so much in the bedroom this week. Gary said, do you mind if my colleagues watch? I don't know what sort of things Gary's getting up to. When they ask you that in the hospital, you have to say yes. You're like, no. I don't want the whole crowd of students looking

at it. Marie said, that's not going in my butt. Oh, God. I think we might end it on that one. I don't think we can get much worse or much better than that one. Thank you again for all your great

feedback on that one. Things you can say in the bedroom and in the hospital. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Well, good morning now. Just before, Megan, you said something to producer Brock, who's doing a great job filling in for Grace while she's away at a wedding, about her jewellery that she was wearing this morning yeah so she's wearing a ring uh which i recognized yeah and i said to brooke i was like um is that stolen and then brooke yeah producer brooke you replied with yeah yeah it is and we both understood the conversation but just tell us obviously you

know new to new zealand and probably not aware of the... The brand Stolen Girlfriends Club. So it is a designer. But colloquially, we're just like, is that stolen? Is that stolen? Did you know what we were talking about? I did actually know what you were talking about. Yes, I did. I don't know why I'm in the know of that one.

My wife does like, yeah. I think it's a very trendy thing to like, Stolen Girlfriends Club. Yeah. But I was like, is that stolen? I said it so casually too, like as if I would be to Brooke, did you steal that ring? And it happens often. Producer Taylor was, yeah, she was unaware of this, right?

So she thought that Megan was accusing you of what? Stealing jewelry. Stealing jewelry. Why would I just randomly say to someone, did you steal that ring? Yeah. Did you feel bad at that moment or did you know what she was meaning? I totally understood what she was saying. Good, thank God. Otherwise it's

telling me I'm a real a-hole. It might be an HR sort of incident, right? It's a great ring. It's a great choice. Have you owned Stolen Girlfriend? Yeah, so I had a t-shirt. Sometimes the stuff just says Stolen Girlfriend shortened. When me and my husband broke up and I had a new partner,

I was wearing the T-shirt that said stolen girlfriends, and I got a few comments. I was like, I'm not going to wear that anymore, I don't think. It's quite cool, the ring, though. Describe it. It's like an old-fashioned key lock that you don't see that much anymore. But I quite like the chunky silver ring. So there's no key that sort of goes into the lock?

No key as of yet, no. Maybe one day. Do you know, I'm going to throw myself under the bus here. This is pretty embarrassing, but I'll tell you anyway. I was a big fan of LL Cool J, the rapper, back in the day. What? Yeah. And he had, for a while there, in his music videos,

this is growing up in the Wanda Napa, mate, you know? So he, in his music videos, he would wear a necklace with a key underneath the key and i was like that's cool gold necklace now his ones probably cost like thousands of thousands of dollars but i was like yeah man i think i could do that so i went to that mr minute or whatever it is and i got a key like a and then i a necklace, like a necklace from like Pasco's or something like that. And I wore it together once and geez, I got mocked. I got mocked for that. And I was like, where's your key?

What are you thinking? I was like, oh, and it's, you know, to be fair, mine costs about $12, whereas his probably cost about, you know. And you bought an actual key to open the door. The guy was like, do you want me to cut the thing with it? You know, like the key cut? And I'm like, no.

I didn't tell him why I was going to wear as a necklace so yeah there you go it's just one key hanging from a chain while you want it to be l l cool jay wow not quite cool way like definitely not as cool as l l cool jay the hits the jonah and ben podcast it's the best like i get i've been getting into tiktok. It's the best and the worst of the internet all in one. And you can just scroll and you can go, this is amazing. And it's really quick. It's doing nothing for our attention span. Yeah, exactly. We used to make skits for TV shows. You'd craft a whole thing. You'd have a big intro. Nowadays, I'll show something to my kids and they'll be like, done, five seconds, done.

But there's a whole thing coming up that's real good. Like, don't care, mate. Don't care. You've got to grab me in the first couple of seconds. It's the generation. Now, Lily Allen,

the pop star, you'll know her from singles like this. She had... For many, many years, she was huge in the pop game, Lily Allen.

Like early 2000s. Yeah. Yeah. And then her pop game, Lily Allen. Like early 2000s? Yeah. Yeah. And then her pop career, she says, got totally ruined by her children. She made some comments in a podcast that have made headlines around the world.

It is controversial, but then I would say a lot of people might agree with her. This is Lily. But yes, my children ruined my career. Lily! I mean, I love them and they complete me but in terms of like you know pop stardom totally ruined it and really annoys me when people say you can have it all because quite frankly you can't and you know some people choose their career over their children and that's their prerogative but you know my parents were quite absent when I was a kid and I feel like that really left some, like, nasty scars.

So I chose stepping back and concentrating on them, and I'm glad that I've done that. That's a really interesting thing that she says. And I think, I don't think PJ from the afternoon show would mind me saying, but I think I've heard her say before, you can have it all, but at different times. Right. So it's very hard to balance it all at once.

I've had two children and both times, I think I came back to work after about three months. Which is pretty quick, isn't it? Yeah. I know you like to think, oh, I'll be fine. Three months is fine. You'll be getting back to work. But they're only just out of newborn stage.

And so I kind of do agree with her comments that you can't have it all. Not all at once. Yeah. And that's just society. It kind of just doesn't allow for it so you might be able to like push through in the time but it's generally to your detriment like you'll be exhausted you're mentally drained um and I was getting up at 3am because I was still breastfeeding to, you know, pump my boobs. Yeah. And so, like, I generally think there's not a lot of help or compassion for women who

have come back from maternity leave. It's not just down to the company. It's down to, like, everyone around you. Because if we're all honest, someone might come back from maternity leave and you're like, oh, Bex has had a baby. That's so nice for Bex. But that's it. You don't do any more than that.

Who goes over to Bex and is like, are you okay? Do you need anything today? Can I get you some lunch? Do you need a nap? Can I do something for you? Are you okay? You're right.

You probably just go, oh, that's great. Oh, how's things? And most people go, probably, oh, fine, because you don't delve deeper into that. Yeah. How's Bex?

I do it too. Is Bex a real person? Bex is a made-up person. I was thinking, jeez, if I'm not helping out this poor person called Bex. But you know, Bex probably feels alone. She feels exhausted. She feels like no one understands. And she's essentially doing two full time jobs. It is really hard. I mean, nothing on, you know, what the mums do, you know, a lot. And particularly the parents that stay at home and look after the kids. And that can be, you know, the dad sometimes. There's a huge commitment. There's a huge sacrifice that these people make towards the upbringing. I even find the guilt myself, you know, like when you're trying to, you know, you're trying to work and you work now, your why you work is, you know, because you love working

but also because you want to provide for your kids and your family. Yeah. But, you know, I'm doing this for them but they probably don't know why I'm doing it and at the same time I'm missing out on time with them. Where are you? Sometimes for doing those things and you do that guilt yeah that sometimes comes about you know you're like oh man I went did this thing because I wanted to earn this money or do this thing to provide for them but the same time I missed out on this time with them and they you

know amen sister I feel that you know it's a real hard balance and then coming back from maternity leave or paternity leave when you come come back, everyone's like, right, you must be refreshed. You've just had a holiday. You've had a holiday? Oh, no. Who's saying you've had a holiday? You've just been off that whole time. I'm like, I haven't been off.

I've been birthing a child. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Just Ben and Megan here today. And it's good news. Fruit and veggie prices have fallen 9.3% in the past 12 months but going out for a meal or takeaway

is more expensive in 2024 than they were last year. I've noticed that produce is getting a bit cheaper. That's good. As I said before earlier, I made a quiche yesterday. Random thing.

Never made a quiche before in my life. It was surprisingly easy. Got frustrated that all the ingredients and stuff we had at home wasn't going to get used. I did a boomer thing.

I made a quiche. It was good. I'm gutted you didn't take a photo. I think there's two slices left, so I'll take a photo when I get home today. The family are like, what are you doing? I'm like, I don't know. I had a fever two days ago, so maybe this is part of it.

But I made a quiche. It was all right. I'm proud of you. Thanks. This might be a little bit TMI, but bear with me because I was getting laser. And I have been for a while. I get probably, shall we say, like eyebrows down.

Oh, yeah. Sort of with laser. Okay. Arm pits, legs even. If you've never thought about doing that, that's groundbreaking. Does it hurt, laser? Yeah, a little bit. Or do you kind of get used to it?

You kind of get used to it. It is like a flick, but they have a new thing where they blow cold air on you. Oh, yeah. So you kind of feel the flick, but not really. It's not too bad. I mean, I don't know if you'd handle it. Probably not, let's be honest. And so does it hurt in particular areas more than other areas?

Yeah. Yeah, right. Okay. But probably not the areas you imagine. Armpits, no. Okay. But my legs kind of hurt sometimes. Yeah, right. Okay, yeah. But probably not the areas you imagine. Armpits, no. Okay. But my legs kind of hurt sometimes. Oh, really?

Yeah, I guess maybe because your shins are hard or, yeah. And how long does it, a lot of questions about laser. How long does it last for? It lasts a while. Right. It's kind of for women, I believe, I might be wrong, until your kind of hormones change a bit and then the hair might grow back. Gotcha.

Yeah. So that happened for me when I had babies babies hormones change and so hair came back so i've been going to get laser and i had this lovely woman and she is more mature shall we say so we have like great chats i feel like she listens to me she's like a mum uh so we're chatting away like in-depth conversation while the laser's going on and i'm naked from the waist down right um and so she's lasering parts of me uh and we continue our chat and then afterwards this post laser stuff they always tell you afterwards like don't go in the sun, put the cream, all this kind of thing. But as she's talking to me and giving me the post-laser chat,

she has her hand on my body. On a particular area? Yep. Right. And she's just patting it going, okay, dear. So just, you know, like your mum would pat you on the arm? But she's just sort of patting you lightly there. Completely unaware of what she's doing.

And she's so comfortable in this situation. She's like, you'll be fine. Just don't go in the sun as she's patting me. I was just like, this is the most bizarre conversation ever. But I don't feel uncomfortable. Right. It's just very weird. But at no point did she realise what she was doing.

I think Jackie Brown tells a great story about the comedian Jackie Brown on TV. Love her. About getting the, how do I know you? And it wasn't until I think the wax had dropped to trousers. She's like, oh, you're Jackie Brown. She's like, why did that jog your memory? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Juicer Taylor, we've brought you in because I kind of missed this because I've been away for a few days.

But I heard about your car issues, but things really started to get a whole lot worse. Yeah, yeah. So I was driving the car and when the coolant warning sign came on and I was told in the past that if that comes on, you can keep driving so i did who told you that i don't know are they trustworthy you haven't been on tiktok again probably and then um so you thought that the warning sign you're like yeah warning it's fine

it's fine and then when i got home my husband filled it up with coolant because we have that at home. Oh, nice. And then thought I was sweet again and then it came straight back on and then smoke started. Uh-oh. And then. And at that point you stopped driving it, eh? No, went to the gym, then got back home.

And then it was debating with my husband whether or not to drive it to the mechanics because I was like, it'll be fine. Whatever's happened now has already happened it's damaged what has the car got to do for you to be like oh no sweetheart i'll stop driving you when i turn the key and it doesn't start right yeah sometimes i i'm hopeful that if there's a problem that if you just keep driving it yeah it'll work its way through that it's just getting warmed up it never happens but you're always hopeful that it could be the case, right? I agree. Because no one really wants

to deal with car issues. No. Yeah. So, long story short, I've heard back from the mechanic and it's a gasket, I don't know how to say it, gasket, gasket issue.

I think, yeah. Yeah. So, for all those in the text machine saying I blew the engine, I didn't. Sorry. Okay. You blew a gasket.

You blew a gasket, which you do frequently around the office as well, too, yourself. Fired up at stuff. So the car, what's that mean? Is that pretty? It's really expensive. Yeah, right. Yeah. So at the moment, I don't have a car and I don't know when I'll have it back, but I'm

getting it fixed. So happy days. Oh, no. So you ignored the warning signs. At the moment, you're driving one of the – well, your husband's going, right? Yeah, poor thing. He's having to Uber everywhere. Yeah.

He's taking a hat as well. Yeah, we both work like weird hours. So, you know, just Uber. I'm ordering his Ubers because he doesn't have the app either. So it's a lot of bad men. It's not the app. No. He got scammed a few years ago and he's got trust issues.

What app does he have? He refuses to do social media. Doesn't have Uber. That's a great question. I think he's still got the calculator on his phone. That's about it. So he won't use Uber? No.

Okay. And even Uber Eats. Nothing. I don't want to be scammed. So you'll order Uber Eats for the family? Yep. But not? No. I'm your guy's secretary and I'm his secretary.

Yeah. Okay, ignoring the warning signs as well. So maybe in hindsight, looking back, do you think maybe you could have when the light came on? Well, the mechanic said it was nothing I did. He said this is like months in the making. So months of you driving it in the making. Yeah, well.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We want to know when you ignored the warning signs like producer Taylor just battling on like the hero that she is when her car coolant light came on. A warning light came on. She was like, nah, I can drive through it. Yeah, you'll be all right. Now the car not so good. The car's stuffed.

So we want to make her feel a little better this morning. Have you had any times where you ignored warning signs, Megan? Do you mean like for my first marriage? That wasn't really what I meant. Or do you mean like actual physical lights? Well, that's also, you're right. You can ignore warning signs in relationships as well, right? Yeah.

Yeah. No, I don't think physical lights. I'm pretty, when the petrol light comes on and that kind of thing, I'm like, right, got to get onto it, you know? Well, I don't know if, I think Mike, who's joining us now on 0800 The Hits. Good morning, Mike.

How you doing? Good morning. You haven't heard from me for a year or so. I've had a bit of a hellish year. Yeah, I used to ring you all the time, mate. Oh, you did? Yeah, you'll be all right? All okay?

Oh, no, no. It's been a hell of a year. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, buddy. Well, nice to hear your voice again. It feels like I'm glossing over that and asking you about the warning signs, but what happened? I started a new job about a year ago, and I had to go from Tauranga to Rotorua,

and I'm halfway there, and the little light goes on for the petrol. Yeah. So I rang someone up and said, hey, I may not make this. And then I calculated. And then they said, put it on the little trip thing. Yeah, that tells you how much you got left to drive on your tank. Yeah. So I thought, oh, yeah, that sounds about right.

So I just kept going. And then all of a sudden I looked down and there's 14 Ks left in the tank. And I'm thinking, what the heck? So I was in the back of Beyond. I didn't really go to Rotorua a lot, so I didn't know the area. And I get into this little town and there's a BP or a goal or whatever it was.

And I look down at the Speedo thingy, whatever it's called, and I had one K left in the tank. Oh! It's meant to be. Jeez, that's when you get up there and it's like closed or something. one K left in the field. Oh, it's meant to be. Jeez, that's when you get up there and it's like closed or something. You're like, oh, what? It reminded me of Seinfeld when they're on the motorway.

Do you remember that? No, no, no. Producer Taylor's nodding away. Hey, Mike, nice to hear again. You take care, my friend, all right? Yeah, and I hope everything's good for you guys. Thanks, buddy. I had the same thing when I borrowed my dad's car early with my license, me and my friend,

and we were like, it was low on gas, and we were like, we'll wait for the petrol light to come on. It'll be fine. And we kept driving, and we're like, oh, the petrol light hasn't come on, but I guess it's fine. And then we ran out of gas. Did his petrol light just not work? It didn't have a petrol light.

I was like, why can't it just not have a petrol light? We had to walk like 9km. I mean, it has a little thing that says empty, though, doesn't it? Yeah, well, no, that's when we ignored the warning signs. Debbie joins us this morning. Good morning, Debbie. Good morning. Now, we were talking about ignoring the warning signs,

but your dog actually used to alert you for your warning signs. Yes, he did. He would just not leave me alone, or if I was asleep, he would wake me up. So what was going on? I was having a hypo. I'm a type 1 diabetic, and he would alert me when my sugars were too low. So the dog would know or sense that your sugars were low and wake you up? Yeah.

The first couple of times, I didn't quite click on to what it was, and it wasn't until my daughter said to me, it was one afternoon, she said, oh, mum, have you checked your sugars? Maybe he's, because he was just hanging around and just sort of been a bit of a nuisance, really. And then, so I did check my sugars and they were low. And then if he woke me up in the middle of the night, the first time he did it, I sort of sat up and said,

oh, do you want to go outside? And then I, when I sat up, I thought, oh, no, I'm a bit low. My head, you know, light headed. He was pretty awesome. You often hear about dogs sensing a lot of things, even like earthquakes and stuff like that. Pregnancies as well, yeah. Yeah, no, he's, yeah, he was amazing.

That's a very, very cool thing. A very special bond that you had. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. So you just told us that you once bought a key from Mr. Minute and put it on a chain in order to look like

LL Cool J. I outed myself. I didn't need to tell you that story, but I did. You did. It was magical. But LL Cool J's one

was diamond encrusted. I actually found the insurance appraisal for that. How much? $21,000 New Zealand dollars. Whoa. Yours is from Mr. Minnit.

Mr. Minnit and a Pascal. Mine was about $12. I gave it a go. Doesn't have diamonds. Now this is clickbait headlines. Megan's going to read out three headlines. Producer Taylor, you're going to help me today. We can get to choose which story we want to hear about.

We're going to get to hear about one story. You'll never find out the details of the others. Woman chats to dead mother using AI. That's headline one. You like all these things so spiritual. I do. And AI, I think, is conflicting with the spiritual realm. Oh, okay.

So you're maybe not a fan of that one. Okay, next headline. Woman takes ultimate petty revenge on cheating husband who didn't tell her about STI. Ooh, that's juicy. That's a bit of me. Okay, yeah. I can see you taking ultimate revenge on someone.

And headline three, a teddy bear is coming between a man and his wife. A teddy bear. Yeah, you get to choose. One of those headlines only. I'm bear. Yeah. You get to choose. One of those headlines only. I'm going to give it to you to choose today because you don't normally get to choose. We have to go with the STI cheating husband.

Okay. So that headline was again? Oh, Ben, I just clicked out of it. Okay. Woman takes ultimate petty revenge on cheating husband who didn't tell her about an STI. Okay. I want to know what the petty revenge

was. What was the petty revenge? Okay, so they had been together. Husbands, they'd been together for a while. I don't know how she didn't notice this, but eventually she found out that he'd been cheating on her with multiple women. She found underwear in her house

that were not hers, text messages, plane tickets of when he had flown and gone on holiday with other women oh again i don't know how this is pretty sloppy wasn't it well he got away with that for so long um but then she found out uh details and she found prescriptions in the house of an sti that he had, which she did not have. So she discovered that he had been cheating, which is horrible. But she left the house.

Before she left the house, she put something in his shampoo and conditioner. He used bulk shampoos, so large quantities, and she put near hair removal cream in his shampoo. That is amazing. And conditioner, so he's double dosing at night. Oh my God.

She also says that he shampoos and conditions every day. That is a smart woman. It's a good revenge thing, isn't it? She put essential oils in there as well, so it didn't smell weird or like hair removal cream and then moved out of the house took everything with her but that's not something that he would necessarily suspect what a boss that's a great plan i did the same thing jono many years ago that's why he's boring no no no when the pranks really got out of hand between the two of us i always saw if someone did that to me like petty revenge i'd take really got out of hand between the two of us. I always thought if someone did that to me, like petty revenge, I'd take the wheel out of the microwave

because then you can't microwave anything. Because how annoying, you've just got to buy a new microwave. Yeah. You can't replace the blade. Do you often sit there and think about it? I do. I do. Don't be a female thing.

Because I've always wanted to put prawns in like curtain rods. Yes. You will never find them. Because I've always wanted to put prawns in, like, curtain rods. Yes. You will never find them. Because it's so high up as well. In the curtain rods, and then they just ferment. Is this something that I'm... Stink. Producer Brooke, you're nodding away as well.

Yeah, is this petty revenge? Is this something you've thought about as well? Just, like, tuna in the car. Yeah. Good one. Oh, okay. Wow. Maybe I'm the only one.

Maybe this is a female's Roman Empire. This is amazing. 487. I'm going to throw this on the text machine this Empire. This is amazing. 4-4-8-7. I'm going to throw this on the text machine this morning. Petty revenge. Have you thought about it? What would you do? Not necessarily done it, but have you sat there and daydreamed about what you would do?

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. We just ended up talking about revenge that you had maybe thought about, but you haven't actually executed. This is after a woman put hair removal cream in her ex-husband's shampoo bottle as petty revenge. And then I said I would always dream about, I've never done it, putting prawns in curtain rods. That would be my petty revenge.

Because you'd never find it. The stench would be horrible, but you'd never find them. And then we have kind of discovered that this maybe is something women think about all the time. Yeah, you put it out there on the text machine, 4487, revenge that you've thought about, or maybe you've even executed from time to time. There's a few great texts coming through, and also we've got some calls coming through as well early in the morning. Shelley, have you actually done this revenge? I watched it. Oh, you watched it. Allegedly, supposedly. What done this revenge? I watched it.

Oh, you watched it. Allegedly, supposedly. What was the revenge, Shelley? What happened? So when we were away camping, there was a group of a family who had no power. So they were cooking their dinner in the toilets, and another group was giving them a really, really hard time. So when they went to bed one night, a group of them found some nice small potatoes and

shoved them all with broomsticks up the exhaust of their cars. Vigilante justice. What happens in that? When they got up the next morning, so we all sort of got up a little bit early just to see what was going to happen. And someone starts. They got up the next morning, so we all sort of got up a little bit early just to see what was going to happen. And some wouldn't start. One really, really nice car never even left the camping ground. Uh-oh, uh-oh.

So, yes, it was just one of those things that you did in those days. Yeah, back in the day. That's back in the day. Back in the day. Revenge, revenge with potatoes and exhaust pipes. Thanks for your call this morning. You have a great day, Shelley. Thank you.

You too, guys. See you later. Some of us only dream of it. Yeah, what's on the text machine? Some of these are, well, you judge if they're too far or not. So someone said replace all of the clear spirits with water in their house. So you want to do things that are not like... Oh, like as far as like gin or vodka or things like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just replace it with water. Yeah, that's good, yeah. Another one said put drops of honey all around the house because then it will invite in the ants. I had that happen to me, sorry. You know, sometimes you say at a hotel and the drinks are weighted.

When you take it out of the fridge, they charge you automatically. Is that a thing? It's a thing. One hotel was saying it. And so I went and grabbed a beer and the top came off really easy. I was like, oh. And then I was like, oh, this is just water.

And someone had filled it back up with water and put it back in the minibar as well. And then I'd taken it out and I got charged for it. I was like, but, yeah. Cheeky. Yeah, so yeah, a little plan there. Wow. So how did they drink it and I got charged for it. I was like, but, yeah. Cheeky. Yeah, a little plan there. Wow. So how did they drink it and not get charged for it? Well, that's what I think as well.

Yeah. Maybe they just, they're smarter than me. Yeah. Someone else said leave chocolate bars open. I guess that's again like the ant situation. Oh, the ant situation, yeah. That's what my kids do every Easter. They leave their chocolate in their room for months

after the chocolate stash. Why are we not his aunts? Yeah. And one more said, turn off the hot water in the house. I mean, that would be a slight inconvenience, but you could collect all of these and do it all at once. Or just sit there and dream about it like I do. This has just come through.

I rimmed the toilet bowl with my ex's toothbrush. Oh, bro. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. A friend of mine she's got a couple kids and she's down south in the South Island and she

decided that her and a friend were going to try yoga for the first time so a lot of mums you know it was like

that time of day where a lot of mums were sort of going along to classes put your kids in daycare go along to yoga she was like oh this will be nice

nice time out get to do this thing but the unusual thing she said about the class she'd never done it before so she was like oh this would be nice nice time out get to do this thing but the unusual thing she said about the class she'd never done it before so she was like excited to go along but she went into the room and the instructor the yoga instructor was like well Torai at the start the start of the class they were like 10 minutes of just meditation just sit with your own thoughts for 10 minutes just get your breathing sorted that sort of thing close your eyes have some moments just kind of getting into it and then she said that pretty much and it turned out to be 40 minutes

later the instructor went oh oh sorry everyone and she'd fallen asleep the instructor had fallen asleep but like the whole class had pretty much fallen asleep all these tired mums sorry class that's the end of the that's the end of yoga today so they didn't do a single yoga exercise all they did was tired mums just went and had a sleep a communal sleep yeah yeah together she said my friend was like definitely she fell asleep her friend fell asleep she wasn't sure if everyone fell asleep and everyone would just be like well this is going on for a long long time but the instructor definitely fell asleep which is i guess it's relaxing environment so a long, long time. But the instructor definitely fell asleep, which is, I guess it's a relaxing environment.

It's still quite warm in the room. Sometimes the instructor will, you know, take you through the meditation or like the Savasana at the end, but they're sitting up. And so you lie down and do it, but they're like sitting up, you know, like waiting for you and talking you through it. No, obviously not. She like laid down and was like. She's tired too.

Maybe that's the thing. Maybe that could be a thing for mums. I mean, we all know how tired mums, you know. To be honest, I would love like a 40 minute lie down in the middle of the day. It doesn't matter who's there. I'd be into it. Maybe we're on to something. Maybe we start our own classes.

What an easy class to take. You just turn up. We've got some beds. You can have a sleep, whatever. Gentle music. Yeah. I think we're on to something. Have you done yoga before?

I have. I've done hot yoga as well. I thought you think we're onto something. Have you done yoga before? I have. I've done hot yoga as well. I thought you were going to say it was something along the lines of like goat yoga. What's goat yoga? They have goats there and they're supposed to calm you a little bit. What, goats are meant to calm you? Yeah, I think. Can you do something?

I feel like if anything- They come and sniff you and like- If anything, they would put me on edge. A goat with- Yeah. Goats are a little bit temperamental aren't they yeah

and I saw like wine yoga I'd be into that oh wine yoga sounds good you're doing like downward dog have a sip of the wine that sounds great

hot yoga I mean obviously the name says it all but how hot is hot yoga it's like 40 degrees I think or something like that it's quite hot yeah

so everyone's dripping with sweat and they're sweating yeah and it's not that you've got to wear not a lot of clothes because if you wear like a t-shirt or whatever I think or something like that. It's quite hot. Yeah. So everyone's dripping with sweat. And they're sweating. Yeah. And it's not that you've got to wear not a lot of clothes because if you wear like a t-shirt or whatever, it's just saturated by the end of it. So everyone's wearing like hardly any clothes, bending around and sweating together. You're really getting to know people, aren't you?

Yeah. In your first time. And people, I imagine there's now and again, there's bodily functions. Farts, yeah. Yeah. I was trying to tiptoe around that. No, no. All right.

Does that happen too? Oh, 100%. People fart all the time. Really? Yeah. And I'm the person there. It happens a lot, but I can never not laugh every time. It's hilarious.

Well, there we go. We're just the sleeping classes. I think we're onto something. It sounds great. It does sound. I was like, maybe that's the business model. Yeah. Tired mums, get them in, have a sleep for an hour.

There you go. Mums will pay for that. I would. They did. I think they're going to end up getting a free session the next time. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Now, I think we mentioned this yesterday about both our parents. They love to eat food that's well past its expiry date.

You actually called your mum a hoarder, if I recall correctly. Yeah, a hoarder. Don't stop halfway through that sentence. Oh, yes, a hoarder. Yes, hoarder. Yes, just to make that clear, a hoarder. Yeah, and my parents love to keep things for longer than they should, including in their house.

And I see this, they live in Nelson, so every time I go home, I don't know. It's a weird thing that I've never grown out of. I go through their cupboards and I'm like, whoa, look at all your food. Yeah. They just have so much stuff. And in her pantry. And I'm like. I feel like it's that generation in a lot of ways.

There's only two of them. Yeah. And they have so much food. It's insane. But in their fridge, there is literally a shelf that has old chocolate in there. And we're talking chocolate from like 2007. That's just never been eaten. See, and I question this because I know sometimes on radio people embellish stories a little bit. Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story.

So I thought, well, let's get your mum on, your mum Ray on, and see if we can clarify if that's correct or not. Good morning. Morning, mum. Good morning. How are you doing? I'm good, thank you. Lovely to talk to you.

I don't think we've ever spoken before, but lovely to talk to you. Mum, this is Ben. Ben, this is mum. Yeah. Oh, good morning. Good morning. Now, we've just been hearing about chocolate that's been in your fridge for a long, long time. Oh, she gives away all the secrets.

She does. It's not just one block of chocolate. There is a shelf that has multiple types, and there's like Easter eggs and chocolate bars, but some of them are from like expiring in 2007. Is that accurate, Mum? Well, you see, I had a bit of an update in the kitchen, so I've had a bit of a clean out.

Oh, okay. The 2007 Chockeys have gone. Oh, they've gone. They didn't really survive. They went kind of funny white colour. Yuck. Do you like chocolate at all? Obviously not enough.

No, not really. No, I don't. Give me Jersey Caramels and I'm anybody. Oh, okay. Good to know. I've had a bit of a clean out. So now I've just done a bit of a, had a look to see what I've got in there. And I've got one choco bar that expires on the 17th of May, 2012.

Oh, 12. I guess that's 12 years old. And I've got two packets of after-dinner mints, and they're doing really well. They expire in 2016, so they'll be matured. What I would like to say is some of the chocolates that had expired, especially the caramel ones, they were beautiful, hard, really chewy. Oh, you ate them?

No, I ate them. Oh, yuck. I thought you threw them out. Mum, yuck. You said you need a cleaner. Yeah, I thought you threw them out Mum yuck Because you said you need a cleaner Yeah I thought you'd Got rid of them as well But no you were like

Oh no I clean it I ate them And they were white Well they're full white It's just that the brown Goes a wee bit white Did you scratch that off Or you just ate it how it was

Oh no I just ate it like it was Oh god I'm glad you're still with us And lovely to talk to you as well. Good luck eating that chocolate at some stage of the next decade. Yeah, good on you. Thank you. Bye, Mom.

Bye. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. We're talking about the oldest thing that you're eating, things that you're eating that are past this expiry date. Your parents. Munched on some chocolate that expired in 2007. Is that like 17 years old? Yeah, a good mass on the fly actually

Nasty, I calculated it before You did really well So people are eating some People are very adventurous with their taste buds Yeah, Deirdre joins us on 0800 The Hits This isn't you, this is your son What does he eat? Yeah, so my son Rourke is in the back

And when we go to my parents' place, he is always checking the dates because he often finds crackers and things that are older than him. Oh, my God. And are they still eating the stuff? Yeah, Nanny assures us it'll be fine. Yeah, that sounds like my mum. It sounds like Megan's mum as well. It's just like, yeah, it'll be fine.

They battle on. And if it's not, well. I think we've, yeah, it'll be fine. They battle on. And if it's not... Yeah, I think we've found a gravy or something that was close to 20 years old. Is that like powder, though? That's probably going to last forever, to be honest. Yeah, that's their theory, eh? Sometimes there's so many preservatives in it, it's going to last forever. Yeah.

So he's eaten it and never been sick? No, we've never been sick. Oh, that's good to know. There you go. Sometimes my stepdad does get a bit of a tummy upset as well from my mum's stuff. He's eaten it and never been sick? No, we've never been sick. Oh, that's good to know. Sometimes my stepdad does get a bit of a tummy upset as well from my mum's stuff. And mum's definitely pushing boundaries with ham from like three months after Christmas and stuff. Oh God, no, that's not Jenny. I know, Jenny's doing some wild things.

So is John. John, what are you eating? John, this morning, what are you eating that's past its expiry date? Yoghurt. It's already expired when you buy it off the supermarket shelf seeing as there's a fermented product. So you're saying because it's fermented

it's kind of past its date already? It is, yeah. Best Buy use date has already expired once it hits the shelf. But yeah, I don't care. I eat it two, three months after expiry that's actually on the tin. And yeah. Does it not go,

it has like that fizzy, like sour taste? Yeah. Well, once it gets to that stage, then you can probably dispose of it. But two, three months later on the expiry tag, it's still reasonably good to eat. Two, three months. So what's the longest you reckon you've pushed one? Three months

probably? I would say about three months, just shy of four months. I would say around about that time frame. And it's never reoccurred on you? You've never had a sore tummy? No. Wow. It's gone down well, pretty well. Are you doing this with any other types of food or just pretty much yogurt? No, I'll utilize cheese as well. If it goes green and moldy, I'll just cut the green moldy off it and eat it because, I mean, there's nothing wrong with it underneath it.

Well, cheese is a confusing one for me because sometimes you want to eat moldy cheese. You're just turning it into your own blue cheese. Yeah, sometimes you're like, well, I'll eat this. That's right. You see, so anything Daryl related, I mean, it's all good to go if you just scrape away the moldy bits and pieces. Okay, so the milk from last Christmas that I've got in the fridge, I could probably give that a crack according to John.

All right. Hey, lovely talking to you this morning. We appreciate it. Great talking to you guys. Take it easy. The Hits, the John and Ben podcast.

In a couple of weeks time, we're doing 24 hours of playing the kids game, handball, all raising money for Kids Can. They raise funds to feed and clothe thousands

of Kiwis in need across Aotearoa. So it'll be happening in a couple of weeks. If you want to help out, you can text KIDS to 933, make an instant $3 donation, or go to kidscanball.org.nz,

and ambassador for Kids Can. And Black Fern superstar is Ruby Toohey, and she joins us right now. Ruby, good morning. How are you? Oh, I'm good, man. Honestly, usually I'm like, what's up, the boys? But maybe it's just fun to be here.

I can be one of the boys. It's all good. Yeah. Let's go, lads. How are you? How's things with you? Oh, mate, what's up, the boys? I know. I'll give you one of the boys. It's all good. Yeah. Let's go, lads. How are you? How's things with you? Oh, mate, it's epic. I don't know if you're keeping an eye on rugby and that,

but Super's got a whole new comp called O-Picky, and it's our first year. We've kind of had a proper comp, so it's all go. I'm loving it. Very exciting stuff. And also, it's really cool that you've been involved with something that we are taking part in with Kids Can, raising money for Kids Can.

How long have you been working with Kids Can? Yeah, man, I'm so excited to hear you guys doing this. I've actually just signed up as an ambassador quite in the last year, but I've been a regular donator as in every single day for the last maybe four years, four, five years. As a, I guess, member of society, you know, we try and give back where we can and I'm in sports and I just see the future as the key and Kids Can I think just does a really good job of

first-hand with family members in their school, you know, giving them breakfast when auntie's running late. They really make a difference, Bo, so I'm so glad you guys are doing this. It's pretty cool to be part of although 24 hours of handball, I won't lie, I'm starting to get a bit daunted by that, bro. So I'm so glad you guys are doing this. It's pretty cool to be part of, although 24 hours of handball, I won't lie, I'm getting a bit daunted by that, Ruby.

Any advice? Because obviously we're not saying we're professional sports people at all, but any advice that can maybe on the mental side that can get us through if the bodies aren't quite there? Oh, no, 100%, bro. I already imagine you've been doing wrist exercises and bicep curls. You start at 10 hours and work your way up to 24 hours. Totally, totally.

I reckon mentality in that last home stretch will be to stay in it. It'll be hashtag stay in it, boys. And I know you'll be thinking of every single kid you'll be helping. And kids can help sports too, you know, like with kids that can't afford sports fees and that. So I just think every extra handball game you play is another game that a kid out there can play that they get to choose and makes their life better.

Yeah, pretty cool. I've got to remember that. Ben's actually coming back from injury. He's had a gym injury where he's hurt his – Ben, bro. Are you good at handball, Ruby? You strike me as the type of person that you're just good at everything. Oh, no, you'd retract that statement if you saw me ever play squash.

Squash, really? Yeah, but handball's pretty fun. I think handball's one of those ones you can get really competitive. Especially when you go into school, you pretend you're going easy, and then bang, you just come through. Well, there's a fourth square, Ruby. Yeah, well, hopefully if you are around, depending on the schedule, we'd love to get people like yourself along.

Yeah, absolutely. If I'm not on the footy field, it sounds like I'm on the handball court. It's all for a good cause. As you say, it's for Kids Can. Because it's Kids Can, I thought, well, Kids Can do this interview. So I got my daughters to get my phone and record a question. Now, I'm not sure what the question is for Ruby. I think you're pretty cool.

Can I tell everyone at school that we're friends? Because it's quite hard being one of the kids of Jono and Ben, if you know what I mean. Okay, that was my daughter, Sienna. That's for you, Ruby. What's your answer to that? Oh, that is hilarious. I love your daughter already. She sounds like a really, really successful woman

in the making. You tell your mates that we're good friends and I will forever remember that question. Oh, very, very cool. What's Lindsay's question? Ruby, I think when Dad and Jono are doing their 24 hours of handball, someone should donate some money for them to have a red streak in their hair, like you.

What do you reckon? Oh, Ruby too, red streak in the hair. Yeah, the bro that's got the hair left, I reckon. Yeah, I'm the only one that'd probably do it. Yeah, I don't want to call the bro out. I reckon donate the amount of money that it costs and then donate the money to get the red streak. Oh, my God.

You might get the job. I would absolutely do the red streak. I just don't think I'd pull it off. You can. No, I don't want to act like I'm trying to be you, you know? Yeah. Well, apparently it makes you faster. That act like I'm trying to be you, you know? Yeah. Well, apparently it makes you faster. That's what I tell people.

Yeah. We might have to get one when we do a 24 Hours of Handball. Lovely catching up with you as always, Ruby. And hopefully we can twist your arm, if the schedule works out, to come join us. But it's awesome you support Kids Can, and hopefully we can make a difference as well. Yeah, absolutely. Honestly, support you boys. And thank you, Megan, for stepping in.

You guys have always jumped on good causes and Kids Can means a lot to me. That's the awesome Ruby too. If you want to help out, remember you can just text KIDS to 933 instantly donate $3.