Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Dear Megan Deep Dive!

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Need some advise? Catch up on all our Dear Megan's from this year! My friends dating my dad… My husband has to have the lights off when we are intimate! My nephew has Instagram and his parents don���t know... What to do if someone wants to RSVP to a wedding… after they said know! My brothers passed away but I found it he’s been cheating! My mum doesn’t like my husband...  My friends has been hanging around my husband in just a towel!  My husband has slept with one of his friends… but never told me! My fiancé doesn’t want to join bank account…   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hits, with the Jono and Ben podcast. Cheers to Dilma, making the world a better tea. Over to you Megan, someone, some filthy animal's been sliding, slippering and sliding into your DMs again. So, Dear Megan is a segment we do where you can come to us with any issue you want us to put to the listeners, we will all judge you. Not legal issues though, we don't, we have no expertise in that field.

You can slide into my DMs or the Hits Breakfast DMs. This is one I'm keen to hear everyone's thoughts on. Hey guys, could I put this story to your listeners for a dear Megan? Yes, you can. My friend of about 15 years has revealed to me that she's seeing my dad. She's come to me now, I guess asking for permission now that it's getting semi-serious. First of all, it was a major shock. I had no idea.

And to be honest, I feel a little bit betrayed. I don't like the idea of them being together and I definitely don't want to see any PDA from them. What am I supposed to do? Of course I want my friend and my dad to be happy and I wish I could be cool with it, but I'm just so not. What do you and your listeners think I should do oh spicy spicy wow so she's uh being asked for her blessings so she can't she is the option to say no I'm not happy with this and her friend won't have she been asked or she's just feeling like about it it says she says I guess they're asking for my permission but they have

been seeing each other it's just now that it's getting serious. But they're both willing to pull out if it's not kosher with her. I don't know. Maybe they're just hoping that it's going to be kosher with her. I'm guessing age-wise, what are we thinking for this? Well, we don't have ages, but it's her dad. So there's an age gap there. Not that that matters.

No, but I think with the relationship, what are we guessing? Have they been friends for 15 years? I mean, so maybe 30s, early 30s. Yeah, okay. Let's go with that one because, yeah, okay. So there's a 30s dad maybe in his 50s, whatever. Yeah, okay.

Well, good on her for politely asking her friend. I mean, I've been, I know when I asked you if I could date Jenny Boyce, your mother. You had an issue with it and so did my wife, as it turns out. And you said no, and I accepted that. But good on her for, I guess, acknowledging it. Because that would have been awkward for the friend

to have to come to her and even have that conversation. Yeah. Well, she's known her dad. They've been friends for 15 years. So she's known her dad for a long time. Yeah. When did the dad meet her? But they are all adults.

Now? Well, yeah. It is an awkward one. I guess some people are going to be cool with it, and other people might be a bit like. I get what she's saying. She's like, I want to be happy. You want your friend and your dad to find love and be happy,

but does it have to be with each other? I assume the dad has been a solo ranger for a while. Yeah, right. There's no mum in the picture. Okay. The only sensible thing to do is for her to go and sleep with her friend's dad. Now, eye for an eye, father for a father,

all said and done. What would you do in this situation? Your best friends come to you and said, hey, I've been dating your dad. Would love your blessings. Obviously your parents are separated for some time. Oh, no. You're not keen?

Nah, I'm not keen. Not initially, but you go six months. You know, it's not when you start a new job or you start a new company and you're all like worried to begin with and then within a fortnight, it's just the norm. I agree. Like, are they coming to Christmas and like, is she sitting on his, and then within a fortnight, it's just the norm. I agree. Are they coming to Christmas,

and is she sitting on his lap? Okay, all right. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. In the middle of today's Dear Megan, our DM today, someone's loaded into your DMs, Megan. Yeah, so this is, I guess, a young woman.

We actually don't have a lot of details, which you can probably understand why when I tell you it's her friend getting together with with her dad they've been friends for about 15 years and she's not okay with it uh they've been seeing each other for a little bit and now they're kind of asking for permission i guess now that it's getting semi-serious i don't think anyone would be completely okay with it right uh but then it's does time normalise things? That's my question. I mean, initially, no one's going to be cool with that. No.

The good thing is, your best friend will be your stepmother. The bad thing is, your best friend's bumping uglies with your dad. Okay? I'm grossed out on behalf. Lots of messages on our Facebook page, Megan. And some polarising opinions sometimes. Yeah, yeah. So Pania has said,

that's a hard one, the fact that it's your friend and your dad. They both didn't tell you till now about being an adult about it and not making it more than it is. I'd find out if they really do have a connection if they want to be together. Sometimes in life you can't help

who you fall in love with. That's true. It is true. Sorry, was there more to this? Yeah, Becky. Sorry. Becky's polar opposite. She said, sorry, that's pretty crap on your dad's true. It is true. Sorry, was there more to this? Yeah, Becky. Sorry. Becky's polar opposite. She said, sorry, that's pretty crap on your dad's part.

Never mind your mate. I'd be pissed. How much time have they been spending together behind your back? Have they been lying to you? How serious is it? So many questions. She's not okay with it. So someone was okay with it.

Pani was okay. Pani was okay with it. Yeah, okay. Yeah. But the whole time you're thinking, how long have you thought my dad was hot for? I know, right? You've got a lot of questions. You travel back through time, don't you?

We're going to get Tuli on the phone. Welcome. How are you? Hello. Tuli, how are you? Good, thank you. Hey, morning, everyone. Morning.

Morning. Good to have you on this morning. Tuli, what are your thoughts on this sticky situation? My thing is I just believe love has no boundaries. I mean, look at how many of us out there are lucky to even find love. If it is love, you know, and it's not just some kind of game that they're playing or to kick off the daughter or whatever. But it sounds a little bit more serious than that.

And look at how many of us, we don't care about the age gap. I mean, what is an age gap? It's nothing. Well, it's probably 16. There's a law that sort of says love does have boundaries, 16 onwards. But you're right. In this situation, they're all adults. You sound like they're in their 30s and 50s.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, like, I think the issue is when she was growing up, that was her dad. And now she's got to kind of get out of that and think about, yes, that is my dad, but I'm not a little girl anymore. I can think outside the square now and I can just let my dad be happy for once. You know, there's nothing better than seeing your parents suffer or vice versa, seeing their children suffer. You know, it's a hard thing.

But he's being happy on top of her best friend. Stop, Shona, with the images. But you just said before that no one would be cool with that. Well, we've got a couple of people who are cool with that. That's fantastic. Very adult of you. Truly appreciate that. Sandy, what do you think?

You want to chime in? Sandy. Oh, hi. Good morning. Sandy, what do you think? You want to chime in? Sandy? Oh, hi. Good morning. Lovely to have you on your commute to work this morning. What do you think? Is it okay for your best friend to date your dad? No, I think it's weird. I think if they got married, then your best friend is now your step-mom. And also, you've got to think about your mum's feelings as well. Oh, yeah, we hadn't even thought about that.

You're right this morning. There's another person here. Yeah, if it wasn't. Yeah, no, that's a good point. We're infected in a mum, or where she is in the equation. So let's wrap things up, Megan. We'd like to give a final bit of advice from all our pieces of advice. I mean, the immature child in me says, oh, gross, that's my dad.

And again, she's going to be, you know, potentially stepmom and you can't tell me what to do. But I also think everyone deserves happiness. And maybe it won't work out. Maybe you can let your dad be happy for now. Have a conversation about your boundaries. I don't want to see you doing stuff in front of me. And maybe you can, like you say, Jono, normalise it after a wee while.

The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Right, we have someone who slid into my DMs with a DM, Megan. You can do that too if you've got a relationship issue. It doesn't even have to be relationships. Any kind of issue that you want to... Medical issues? Can I send you photos of...

No, please don't. Please don't. Just want to know the boundaries. But if you want some external assistance, I mean, the country's going to weigh in, so you never know what you're going to get. But this is a message we've got today. Hi, Megan, Jono, and Ben. I have a dear Megan.

Please keep me anonymous. We always do. I've been married to my husband for 15 years now, and everything is fine. We are each other's best friend friend and I couldn't imagine life without him. However, lately I've been noticing every time we get intimate, he quickly gets up to make sure the lights are turned off. It's even gotten to the point now that if I'm getting changed out of my clothes into my pyjamas, he'll either step out of the room or tell me to go to the bathroom to get changed. I don't know if I'm overthinking things, but it's starting to make me really upset.

I'm beginning to feel quite anxious about my appearance. Do I bring this up with him? How do I even confront him about it? Ooh, that's a spicy. That is a... I was like, oh, maybe you could justify it until the bathroom, going to the bathroom to get changed. Maybe he's just power conscious.

Yes, power's expensive. Electricity bills, turn the lights off. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. Bathroom, go in the bathroom, get changed. Maybe he's just power conscious. Power's expensive, electricity bills, turn the lights off, save some money. I'm just trying to think of options. Maybe there's neighbours that have been around the area peeping in windows. He's like, oh, we should turn the lights off in case they're... When she says everything is fine, I'm like, well... Is? No, but I'm like, maybe it must be. There's no indication

Anywhere else That you guys aren't okay Call me crazy Okay She's connecting dots here Yeah Spiralling out of control In her head

How about just gonna ask him Yeah well Yeah Say hey mate What's the issue with the lights Why don't you wanna see my baps Yeah That's the thing

Like in my relationship I always catastrophize You go to the worst Possible scenario And you like, oh my gosh, he thinks this, especially if it's happening over and over like he's turning the lights off. But could it be that he's self-conscious? Maybe. Well, yeah. You're right.

He's trying to turn the lights off and he's like, maybe I've got a dad bod or something and I'm feeling self-conscious. Yeah, true. That's a very good thought. If he's anything like me, every time I stare in the bathroom mirror, a single tear drips down my cheek. So he might not be happy

with his body. You're right. Okay, so yeah, well let's get some help from the Hitz family right now. Very, very helpful in these situations. Are you lights on

or lights off? Is that too personal? Very. That's quite personal. It's not always. Taylor, what are you? Are you lights on, lights off? Producer Taylor?

Thumbs up or thumbs down? No, she's like, I'm not answering. Thumbs up, lights on? Lights on. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Dear Megan, someone slid into my DMs. This is really nice that people trust us with these very personal topics, especially today.

These people have been married for 15 years. She says everything is fine. We're best friends. But lately, she's been noticing that every time they get intimate, he gets up to turn the lights off and asks her to go into the bathroom when she's getting changed. He's put in their lovemaking on Stevie Wonder mode. Now, I guess as another

thing maybe when the lights are on if you're looking around the bedroom you can see all the chores that need to be done. You know it can get distracting. Do you think he's thinking about that? In that moment? I'm trying to come up with an excuse. No. Yeah I'm reaching. I'm like oh there's some clothes that need to be folded over there you know stuff like that because

the clincher is he's making her go to the bathroom. So it's not a hidden problem. But I still think, how many times did that happen? Was it once or twice? And was it for another reason? Yeah, well, that's the thing. Yeah.

I don't know. Maybe he's laying out rose petals on the bed or something. Not a nice situation for her, especially with her, you know, what it's doing to her mind, obviously, thinking about it lots. Yeah. Yeah, so people are saying, look, how long has this been happening? Is it a new thing? It sounds as though he's just started doing it,

even though they've been married 15 years. Tell the hubby to do the same and then ask him what his problem is. Yeah, I wonder what would happen if she was like, no, go get changed in the bathroom. Oh, reversing it. Yeah. Back on that.

Back on him. Getting a dimmer. Yeah. Turning down the light. Like 5 a.m. mode or something? Yeah. Yeah, let's get Claire on. What do you want to say to our listener there, Claire?

Well, yeah, as I text him, I've been with my partner for eight years, and I've never seen him naked apart from when he's walking around the house drunk, and that's maybe been twice this whole time. But it's mainly because he's self-conscious. There's absolutely nothing wrong with his body at all, but he's just that self-conscious that even during broad daylight, even at night time, he will prefer to be alone. And so I've never had a problem with my body,

but the longer I've been with him, I'm now, I'm not self-conscious, but because I respect his privacy, he respects mine as well so he doesn't walk out when I'm in the bathroom or if I'm getting dressed he'll walk out but also we have children and at the moment we have a nine month old so we have

the monitor on so when we are being intimate I feel like I'm being watched even though he's asleep we drop that down or our cat sleeps in our room so sometimes we're, yeah, It's weird that cats sleep. It is weird.

But with that, yeah, whether it is a new thing, that is very odd. Maybe he went and got a tat. I don't know. Thank you, Claire, for being so open. You shared wonderful sharing there, Claire. I feel like a teacher at primary school. Good sharing, Claire.

And yes, it is weirder for cats staring you in the eyeballs when you're doing that. Yeah, yeah. I know what you're doing. So, well, thank you. That's Claire's thoughts on it. We've got Suze on the phone. What do you want to say? Well, I was just thinking, Megan said that she thought it could be him being self-conscious with his body.

But honestly, the fact that he's asking her to move into the bathroom when she's getting changed does sound like it's a him problem. But it also sounds like it's a him problem that she should approach him about. I feel like it's something they definitely should discuss because otherwise she's just going to, it's going to fester and she's going to think more and more into it. And it's going to get worse and worse for her in her head. Yeah. And I'm hoping that she's going to the worst case scenario. I'm kind of hoping there's another reason why he's asking her to go. And how many times did it happen?

Did it happen once? And maybe he was like, I don't want the light on, I'm trying to do something. You know, I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because that would be horrible if he was actually doing that. Yeah, no, I agree. So let's all hope for the best. But I definitely think it's something that she needs to discuss with him. Wonderful call, Susie.

Well spoken. Now, the Jono Pryor side poll. Lights on, lights off. Which you don't have to answer. Lights on. Okay. Yeah, good. Okay, we've got lights on.

Okay, 70% on leading the poll at the moment. Keep that rolling on, rolling coverage. So what would the lights on okay 70 on leading the poll at the moment keep that rolling on rolling coverage so what would you say yeah on facebook a lot of correspondence coming through and i guess uh the probably the message that's coming through most everyone feeling for this particular person but most people saying no point overthinking it go talk to yeah that seems to be the main thing that everyone's saying because you don't know until you've actually had that conversation you can catastrophize it in your head. It might be something really innocent. And if it's not, you need to address it anyway because it's going to affect your mental health.

They call them having courageous conversations when you're climbing up the corporate ladder in middle management. Have a courageous conversation. It sucks being an adult, though. It does. Well, thank you for sharing too. And if people want to message Megan, DM,

Dear Megan, you can do so. Megan Louise Pappas on Instagram. Why'd you chuck your middle name in there? That's just really confusing. Well, Megan Pappas wasn't a baby. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast.

Dear Megan, someone slid into your DMs again, Megan. They have. And this is a tricky one. Yeah. Anyway, I'll hand it over to you.

Alright. Well, I'll read it out and then we can discuss. This is a tricky one. Because you're him. Anyway, I'll hand it over to you. All right. Well, I'll read it out and then we can discuss. This is the Dear Megan. Hiya, Jono, Ben and Megan. I have an issue for your Dear Megan segment. I am the cool auntie and my nephew often comes to me with stuff in his life that he often doesn't tell his parents. And he has told me that he has Instagram and his parents don't know. He's only 11, so he's not really supposed to have it and his parents are against him having social media until he's older.

His account is private and he only has one or two posts. He says he just uses it to follow other people mostly. Now I know this information what do I do? Do I betray his trust because I feel like it will be obvious that I told his parents, but also I feel like his parents would want to know. Eek, help, please. Oh, tough. You do want to hold your street cred and your mantle is the cool auntie, don't you?

But then you're right, they're going to be like, if they find out, they're like, you knew? No, but just go, what? No, but just go, this is the first I've heard of it shocker i don't know but the kid will probably say something i told such and such yeah but yeah yeah you don't want to lose your street cred it's not often as an adult you get cool cool or thought of as cool so the longer you can hold on to that all fun and it's not your place to dive in they'll find find out at some point, then they can deal with it. The parents. But also,

are you kind of like setting yourself up as the confidant in that area so you can keep tabs on it a little bit, you know? You can give them a peep talk. But then would the parents want you to be parenting

in that way because it's not your kid? Oh, so you're saying you take the responsible role here and do what they would do. Yeah, so you can be like, okay, if you have any issues with social media,

come and chat to me about it. you know or you set up a fake instagram account and then tag his mum in on it yeah and loop them together and then you've done nothing like that's a third party that no one knows yeah what because do you think in reality like if you say you told the parents and then the parents like you can't have it shut it down he's going to do it anyway and then he's not going to tell you or the parents and it's

I mean in the grand scheme of things it's not as bad as a lot of other things that could be doing like it's not like he's ram raiding or vaping

or you know like something like that and when those incidents you're probably like oh can you maybe I would definitely betray the kids trust

yeah when it comes to ram raiding yeah I think that's the thing I've got to get this ram raiding I think that's the line of the saying. Oh, listen, I've got to get this ram rating. I stole 100 bucks from a dairy or something. You might be like, oh, actually, okay. I mean, one minute you're setting up sneaky industry accounts.

Next minute, you're human trafficking in Eastern Russia. That's what I've always said. It's definitely a gateway, yeah. It's a gateway, isn't it? So this is what we want to chuck over in 0800THEHITS. What do you do? What does this person do? Do they alert the parents?

Betray the trust? Or... Set up a fake Instagram account? Maybe you've had this situation happen to you. Maybe you've had someone come to you and told you one thing like this and you've gone, oh, I've got to tell the parents? Or you've kept a secret? Megan, you're a secret keeper.

You're very loyal at keeping secrets. Yeah, which is why this one, I don't know what I would do. I feel like,'re very loyal at keeping secrets. Yeah, which is why this one, I don't know what I would do. I feel like, I don't know. You are very loyal on the secret game. I feel like I would

keep the secret. I feel like I would keep the secret. Yeah. So would I. Leave it to them. Yeah. And just be like,

hey, come to me. Just come to me if you need me, you know? But then the parents are going to be like, I know, I just deny, deny, deny. If you're a little too probably more so than the parents.

The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. In the middle of today's Dear Megan. Dear Megan. Someone has slid into Megan's DMs with a very, very interesting dilemma this morning, Megan. So they are the cool auntie. Their nephew has told them, they're 11 years old, that they have Instagram and they're not supposed to. Their parents wouldn't be down for it.

So now the auntie's like, do I betray his trust and tell the parents or do I keep his confidence and keep his secret and maybe just monitor him being the cool auntie? Does she relinquish her title as the cool auntie or now become the narking auntie? Those are the two options available. A whole bunch of texts on this. Thank you for all your texts and advice on 4487. Someone suggesting quietly tell the parents check the kid's phone, maybe leave the kid's

Instagram account open on the phone and do it subtly. Yeah, that's a good one. Worst things he could be doing, reads this another text. I was searching up big boobies On the internet when I was 11 So thank you for that advice there And also don't tell the parents

As an adult he needs to trust an adult Every child needs to trust an adult I know I'm so torn Another text saying blackmail the kid Is it you? Jackie What's your advice for this lady? Blackmail the kid. Is it you? Jackie, we'll get you on from Hamilton. What's your advice for this lady? Jackie, what's your advice, mate?

I think that she should tell to the child that they need to decide whether they're going to tell the parents about the Instagram or just get rid of it because I think she needs to help him maintain a good relationship with his parents. And if she betrays him or them, then he's not going to trust anyone and they won't hear about things that happen. So I think just put it back on him and say, come on, mate, what do you think?

You know your mum and dad don't want you to have it, so I'm going to put that on you. You either tell them or you take it off. I don't think it's a good place to get between the parents, you know what I mean? I wouldn't be very happy with my sister if she didn't quietly say to me, look, blah, blah. And then I'd say to her,

yeah, well, I don't like it, so you tell her no or whatever. But I don't think that's a good way to have a relationship with them. No, good on you, Jackie. Thank you. Russell, Rusty, you're chiming in. What do you want to say about this? That's a tough spot, but if it was me,

I think I'd tell the kids to get rid of the Instagram account. Otherwise, I'll tell their parents. Oh, like the ultimatum. Oh, that's not a bad way of doing it because then you haven't betrayed their trust. Exactly. Exactly. And they've got an opportunity to maintain your trust and you maintain your cool status.

But they know they're not supposed to have it, so they might just go, oh yeah, I'd rather just get rid of it than her tell my parents or someone like that. But I feel like you're going to lose your cool status by telling them to get rid of it.

But then you start vaping in front of them and you regain your cool status. You're like, hey, have you thought about vaping? See, I don't mind that idea. It's kind of keeping everyone kind of on your side in a way. Yeah, it is. It's an opportunity to, I think both the other options are a lose-lose.

I think this is the only kind of, it's the stalemate, it's the middle ground that might work. Russell, you're a thoughtful individual, mate. Really appreciate you sharing this morning. You go and have a wonderful day, okay? Okay. Love your work.

Trish, let's get into it. Trish, roll your sleeves up. What advice have you got? She should keep it secret, but she should talk the boy into telling the parents. Oh, so she's not actually the one to go break his trust.

No, because she may need to have that trust from him at some stage of his life. And if she breaks it, he's got nobody. Yeah, I agree with that. Gently lead him into telling his life. And if she breaks it, he's got nobody. Yeah, I agree with that. So gently lead him into telling his parents. Or you tell your parents or I will,

that got played on me in whip calls by an undercover shopper when I shoplifted a Playboy magazine at age 12. Yeah, but you know what? You don't need to rely on her later on in life, right? No, but she never told my parents, and I did. Yeah, she played you well, didn't she? And that was the lesson that I learned that day. Honesty is the best policy at some stage,

and an 11-year-old needs to have that honesty with the parents, right? Well, thank you so much for your calls and texts this morning. To summarise, what do you think is the best advice here, Megan? Well, someone texted and said the way kids think nowadays, if you don't keep the secret, the trust is lost and kids have a very stubborn attitude these days. I kind of agree. So I'm going to go with Trish and say

keep the secret, but, you know, encourage him to tell his parents. Okay. Well, thank you. We appreciate everyone's calls and great calls, great texts. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. DM Megan. People slide into your DMs, Appreciate everyone's calls and great talk, great calls, great texts. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. DM Megan.

People slide into your DMs, don't they, Meg? With a question, yeah, that we put out to the listeners. It's pretty brave, really, but it is anonymous. So if you have a DM, you can slide into mine or the Hits Breakfast DMs and we will put your conundrum out to the listeners. Today, though, this is our dear Megan. Hey, guys. What do you do if someone wants to be re-invited to your wedding after they've RSVP'd?

No. Here's the deal. We have a couple who we've been friends with for a while, but they are notorious for breaking up. We were friends with the girl first, so I feel like that's where our loyalty lies. So when they broke up she RSVPs yes and he asked RSVP no obviously now fast forward to a couple of weeks

until the wedding and they've gotten back together and she wants to bring him I'm well down the line of organizing everything table settings and everything and to be honest I can't be sure they won't break up again before the wedding. What do I do? I want to say no to my friend, but how and am I mean for doing so? Keen to hear what everyone thinks. Oh, so they're wanting a re-invite. You could punish them and sit them at the kids' table or something. Here's a controversial opinion, and this is surrounding wedding days. I believe some brides and grooms are just ready to kick off

and just waiting for something to kick off at. You know? Well, it's quite a stressful thing for some people. It's like, it's your special day, it's your special day. And so you just feel like any slight inconvenience, you have the right to just fire up at it and cause a scene over.

It's so stressful and there's so many aspects to it. It's one other person. Chuck him on a table. Every other person is at a cost. Why don't you say. Chuck him on a table. Every other person has a cost. Why don't you say that? Say you can come but it's going to cost you $150 or whatever because that's the cost of whatever it is. Yeah, but she's probably already done like, you know how you do the favours.

Some people get things printed like... Half the people at our wedding we don't keep in touch with nowadays. Exactly. So what does it matter? They're just a snapshot of time of people who are in your life at that moment. So don't have them.

Alright, so 0800 the hits, 4487 what should you do? Maybe you've had the same situation happen to you with your wedding as well. Look, I've had two and the first one it was like... Stop bragging about your weddings and what your weddings had, mate. The first one had one, right? The first one We made it work, goddammit.

We worked on our relationships. That's why they lasted, Megan. Didn't just throw it in. Sanctum of marriage. No, but the first one, you listen to everything. You do what everyone else wants. You invite everyone. Is that what you did?

You still know your first one. Me too. Okay, shut up. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Right now, we're in the middle of this. Dear Megan. Today. Dear Megan. Today's Dear Megan. Someone has slid into Megan's DMs with a bit of a dilemma that we put to you on 0800 The Hits.

They're getting married in two weeks. And they have a couple of friends that break up, make up, break up, make up. So he RSVP'd no because they've broken up. Can you just deliver this in a bit more of a neutral tone? They've gotten back together. And now he wants to come to the wedding. But it's two weeks away. Can you just deliver this in a bit more of a neutral tone? They've gotten back together. Great. And now he wants to come to the wedding. But it's two weeks away.

And she's a bit stressed. It's not your wedding to organise. No, it's just I've had two and I feel traumatised. I'm triggered. My eye's twitching. Would you do this to someone? To one of your friends if they're having a wedding? No, I wouldn't.

Do you know what? When it comes to weddings, whatever they say goes. I'm just like, cool, cool. No kids? Cool. It's your choice. Right. You're spending so much money on that day and you want it to be the way you want it?

That's cool. It could probably depend the way you ask, though. You could say, hey, I know we RSVP'd no, but if anyone doesn't come through, is it possible to, you know, I'd like to come now. Would that be okay to ask and say, but hey, it's up to you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Have they filled the slot? Has someone else come off the roster and have they put that in? Because that person's going to be like, oh, cool. You'd imagine so. Yeah. Yeah. Who's that poor sod? It wasn't in the tight group.

It happens, though. I've been like that, and it's fine. I don't think you should feel bad about that. No. Because you can't invite everyone you want to invite to the wedding. No. So if you're in the next lot, well, you're in the next lot well you're in the next lot that's fine part of you though

in the back of your mind you're like there's better people that wanted here that weren't me without going on and on about having two weddings but I've had two weddings

first one I had like 100 people second one we had 46 and it was way better okay would we be invited to your third maybe you'd be on the maybe list

alright let's get to the calls And see what we should pass on Through this DM What would your advice be Jess? Jess Are you there? Yeah we're here You just start talking mate

And that'll be bloody great radio What do you reckon? I reckon It's really that important to them that they should ask her to pay for him. We did that with our wedding with someone that had a new boyfriend and they were more than happy to pay for him

and it just took that bit of pressure off of us. Oh, so it's the financial burden, you think that's the problem? It could be quite expensive. It does alleviate that, right? That's a good suggestion. I think I's the problem? It could be quite expensive. It does alleviate that, right? That's a good suggestion. I think I said something similar before, but Megan shot me down. But anyway, it was much better delivered from you.

No, but I'm thinking it's more to do with table settings. Those are hard to do, making sure no one's going to have any conflict. Spanner in the way. Jess is here. Ben's here trying to solve problems. Mate, you're throwing more spanners in the way. I'm for the girls. I'm not your suggestion, Jess.

All right, let's take another one. Just sounded better coming out of Jess's mouth. It did, yeah. We'll go 0800 the way. I'm like the girls. I'm like your suggestion, Jess. All right, let's take another one. Just sounded better coming out of Jess's mouth. It did, yeah. We'll go 0800 the hits. We should go to Sue. We'll go live to Sue. Thanks. Sue, chime on in.

What are they doing? Can they let this person bring their partner? Good morning. How are you, Sue? Take it away. Oh, what? Yes. I feel like, Sue, we've caught you at a weak moment

when you weren't phoning up about this topic. Oh, no, I've rung the wrong number. Yeah, no, that's fine. Who did you... So let's get Sue to break down what she thinks. Just have a guess off the top of your head. What do you think? I'm not even sure what you're talking about.

Should they invite them to the wedding, Sue? What do you reckon? Based on everything you know... Oh, she's gone. She hung up, mate. She had enough of of live bullying. I was just curious to know what she'd come through. Here's a great suggestion, 4487.

Invite them to the after party. Oh, that's a good idea. I mean, that's fine if he's okay with it. People get a bit funny when they only get invited to the wedding. I don't know, mate. I don't know. All right. So wrap it up.

Wrap it up. What do you want to say? Well, I think by emailing us, I think she already knows what she wants to do. And when it comes to wedding, I think you should do what feels right to you. So it sounds like you don't want to invite him. Okay. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. TM Megan.

All right. This is the message that someone slid into my DMs with. If you've got something you'd like us to put to the people, feel free to do the same. We can keep it anonymous. Who else slides into my DMs with. If you've got something you'd like us to put to the people, feel free to do the same. We can keep it anonymous. Who else slides into your DMs? Well, we say this all the time, but it's just like girls having bants.

Someone asked me where my skirt was from the other day. Oh, yeah? Yes. Yeah, that's not really good radio content, though, is it? You definitely picked the best of the options. All right, here we go. Dear Megan, this is quite a heavy one, sorry, but I'm really struggling with what to do here.

Where was your skirt from? You're going to feel bad when I read this. My brother passed away at the start of the year. Oh, God, why did you have to do that? Yeah, and I was helping out his wife with clearing up his admin. I went on his laptop, going through emails to clear up bill payments, etc. When I discovered that he had emails from another woman. Without going into too much information, it became clear he had been having an affair for quite some time. He has been married to his wife for six years.

They have a child together and she is like my best friend. But needless to say, she has no idea. What do I do now? Do I tell her and blow up her world? Or do I keep his dirty little secret and torment myself? Because right now it's all I can think about when I'm with her. Oh, God. That's a tough one.

Don't I look like a monster first and foremost? We'll get that out of the way. But secondly, just don't say anything. That's my first instinct. What did he's got? There's nothing he can do to repair it or explain it or. It's just going to, it will tarnish the memory. You're chucking a grenade into her memories.

Yeah. But. Make her question everything. So when I think of it as like a friend, I'm like, well, don't tell her. Right. Then if I'm her and I think about it. Would you want to know? I kind of think I would want to know.

Oh, it's tough. That's why I saw this on the internet the other day and I think it's great. Just bury me with my phone and laptop. Yeah. Please. Yeah. Like you were saying yesterday, your phone knows you better than anyone. Absolutely.

Just take it with me. Put it out there. Put it with me put it down there put it inside me so you have your clearing history friend right when you die someone come in

I don't trust that person at all bury me with if I was that friend I'd definitely be releasing all the fun videos yeah he's not going to trust you with that

this is like a sicko who's doing I'll do it Ben I'll clear it for you thank you Megan I trust you so okay I went under the

so you can text 4487 what would you do in this situation what advice can you pass on? What she says though at the end

it's hard because now she every time she's with her and every time she hears stories about her talking about her husband and stuff

she's sitting there with that knowledge. The guilt of knowing as well. She can just hold on to it when she sees him in the afterlife

or whatever universe we go into when we pass Punch him in the shins. Yes. Yeah. Kick him in the shins whatever universe we go into when we pass. Punch him in the. In the shins. Yes. Yeah. Kick him in the shins.

Okay. 100 the hits. 4, 4, 8, 7. It's a really, really tough one. A difficult one. We'd love your thoughts this morning. And remember, every caller that gets on the air gets a Dilmar tea price pack and $100 voucher as well at his International Tea Day.

So give us a call. We'll get back and hopefully we can solve this. The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. In the middle of a heavy Dear Megan. Dear Megan. Just to recap quickly, someone slid into your DMs, Megan, with a bit of a dilemma.

Yeah, so their brother passed away at the start of the year. They've been helping his wife clear up all the admin bills and whatnot and has discovered on his laptop that he was cheating on his wife. She has no idea. They're also very good friends so now she's like well do i drop that grenade and blow up all her memories or do i hold on to a secret and torment myself because she's talking to her friend every day about her brother and it's i just feel like the debt there's so much damage to be done if you do it's like just like, just don't say anything.

Like when one of us sneakily parks downstairs in the client car parks, none of us say anything because you know that'll cause poor Joe, who runs the building, some undue stress. Okay, we keep that amongst ourselves. No harm, no foul. But just Grace was just saying though, if you did say, would it make it easier for them to move on? Yeah.

Like in a lot of ways, because they probably hold this image of that person and then maybe go, well, maybe it wasn't everything I thought the person was. Yeah, maybe I didn't know him that well. I don't know. How do we know it was an affair on the email too? Could have been a long lost sibling. Love you.

Love you too. Well, she said it became quite clear on the emails that he'd been having an affair. Who seems like emails? Emails. It's old school, baby. Oh, it's just one step away from the facts. Let's get Sam on. You're on. emails that he'd been having at a fair. Who seems like emails? It's old school, baby. Let's get Sam on.

You're on. What do you think here, Sam? Hey, so speaking from experience, I would recommend the person keep it to themselves. What do you mean speaking from experience? So I've had a brother pass away.

I actually got to know their illegitimate son previously so that I could keep them informed. And since then, the family really hasn't spoken to me. I haven't had a relationship with his kids anymore. And so let sleeping dogs lie. I kind of believe, I know it's hard at the time to deal with it, but you're just causing more pain for others really. So you told your family about his other life?

Yeah, not intentionally, but I thought family about his other life? Yeah. Not intentionally, but I thought the other person had a right to know as well in case they wanted to say goodbyes. And now you regret kind of doing it because it's kind of fractured your relationship. Definitely. Definitely. That's not fair.

When you're just coming from a genuine caring angle, well hey, thank you for your advice. You're just coming from a genuine caring angle. Well, hey, thank you for your advice. You just say, stay tight-lipped. Let sleeping dogs lie. Cara. We'll hook you up with a Dilmar tea price pack and a $100 voucher. International Tea Day today. Well done. Let's get

Cara on. What do you reckon? Dear Megan, does she tell or not? She definitely tells. We've done a whole 180 here. Why do you say that? Look, when somebody in a family passes away, a divide happens in any case. You know, like it's a double-edged sword.

Yeah, I think she's going to go around talking about this wonderful husband she had, what a great father he is, when essentially his behaviour has been pretty bad. When you say it like that, if someone she's not that close to might be the one that spills the beans out in public,

you know, when maybe it would be better coming from someone she knows. That's a great option. Tell a third party who doesn't know anyone. I'll give you $20. I'll go to the door and go. Shall we take one more quick one? Hayden, you're on. Welcome.

What would you do in this situation? I would 100% tell the truth. It's so unfair for the friend to be holding on to knowing the facts. So definitely tell the truth. I kind of feel like the truth always comes out in the end, right? Oh yeah, but are you the person to do it or not? Wow, yeah, that's the question. Okay, so Megan, we need to sum things up. No, I don't want to. Everyone that

called, of course, got on the air, wins a Del Marti prize pack and a $100 voucher. Well, if you go by social media, they say don't tell, and then if you go by who we've had on air, they say do tell. Yeah, but it's called Dear Megan, so what does Megan tell? I don't know. When you wake up in the morning, what are you compelled to do most?

Keep the secret or tell her. I think you've got to go with your gut on this one. The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Dear Megan. Right now, though, someone has slid into Megan's DMs. We do this every week or when someone slides into your DMs with a bit of a dilemma that we can put to you and hopefully you can help them out on 0800THEHITS.

Yes, this week it reads, Hi guys, I have a Dear Megan situation for you. My mum doesn't like my husband. She tolerates him and is nice and polite to him always, but we were planning to go away on holiday with the whole family and stay together at an Airbnb, and she has now told me she doesn't want to stay in a house with him. She said she can't tolerate being around him and staying with him 24-7. It's actually so upsetting for me because they are two of the most important people in my life and to make it worse

he doesn't know she doesn't like him. I can't tell him that she doesn't want to stay because of him, but she says she won't come otherwise. I feel like I'm going to end up upsetting one of them, and I don't want to do that. What's this guy done? Actually, that was my first question, so I actually asked a follow-up question. So he made a silly drunken comment at the family table at a wedding. So he made like a joke that didn't go down well.

Yeah, you always got to read the room when you're delivering your comedy to extended family members, don't you? It was obviously bad enough for the mum to be like, no, done. In that situation, you always hope that someone does something worse than you at the wedding. Someone knocks Nana into the cake or something something which overshadows your terrible moment so what do we what do we want we want some advice for her yeah and to say how she navigates this because

obviously the mom doesn't want to hang out with him and she doesn't want to yeah she obviously doesn't want the confrontation or the conflict and i I get it. Yeah. You don't want, because then he's going to feel awkward. The best thing, I don't know much about family affairs, but the best thing I reckon is to just suppress it, pretend it doesn't exist, let it bubble away for a number of years until it explodes in a volcano of anger. Like my ankles on a long-haul flight. I don't know what I would do in that scenario.

You don't want to cancel the trip, but you don't want to push your mum into it. Yeah. Because normally I would say you don't have to hang out. You don't have to hang out. I mean, obviously birthdays and Christmases, but you're not in a relationship. You know, your mum doesn't have to.

You're the partner. You don't have to hang out. No. They can be civil in the short term. They can be civil on occasions. So going away feels like a step too far, but you've've already committed to that why don't you just get a separate accommodation do your own accommodation away from it's a good idea you know then you just see in pockets she can kind of play guard she can go hey well let's not go over there just let's do some other stuff

you know yeah protector i'll hear one of your jokes but maybe don't talk to anyone else and you can tell your husband it's because you're like well i just want it to be us just us but i imagine there's people listening right now that have uh you know their relationships with the way their partner does not get on with the parents and that's i mean that's that happens that's natural right yeah i don't have to get on human behavior but it makes a heart we did speak to someone on this show actually a few years ago and she didn't get along with her mother-in-law on Christmas Day she dropped her husband off to have Christmas dinner, she sat at the

end of the driveway in the car for four hours. Are you joking? Did she not have anywhere else to go though? We didn't ask that. Would have been good if you were on the show this time. Did anyone look out the window and like, what is she doing? There you go, so that's a. Did anyone look out the window and like, what is she doing? There you go.

So that's a solution. Yeah. Okay. I'll enter the hints. Do you not, maybe don't get on or maybe you had this situation happen with your relationship? How bad was the joke too? Oh no. It must have been pretty bad.

Or mum's really sensitive. Maybe we should play the Netflix roast. Yeah. And then go, hey, look at all these jokes. Yeah. The Hits. The Jono and Ben Podcast. Tia Megan.

So this comes from someone who is in a situation between her husband and her mum. Basically, we did a follow-up question and found out that the husband made an inappropriate joke, a drunken joke at a wedding, and now her mum doesn't like her husband. They were planning to go on a holiday together and all stay together at an Airbnb, but she's now told her she doesn't want to stay in the same house with him.

Also, the husband is blissfully unaware. Which I love. I just love that he's so... He doesn't know that her mum doesn't like him. How do you not know when someone's not vibing you? You do know. You get an idea, don't you? Yeah.

Maybe he's just like hey i hope he hasn't been firing out any more jokes since the uh initial piece of comedy here's a potential solution could she put a mustache on him and a wig tell him to put on a german accent he's he's her new husband he might ask some questions as to why he's having to do this but every time you're around my mum, just put on that German accent. This is Hans Kruger. A lot of people weighing in on the Facebook page and on texts and on calls.

A lot of people saying, well, it just sounds like the mother will be staying home then. Don't let the mother be manipulating. Tell her to stay home and not come at all. There's another person, Vicky, said she's had the same problem. My mother doesn't like the partner. For 19 years ago, I don't give her an ultimatum. Either make an effort or stay home.

Don't ruin the holiday. So that's pretty much the things. And I probably, I would agree with him. It's kind of like, well, don't come then. If you don't want to come, then don't come. Shaz, yeah, you're the one who's got the problem with it. That's a hard line from you, babe. Well, I probably would.

I mean, what, you know? She doesn't have to come. It's meant to be a holiday. It's not like it has to be a family occasion where everyone has hang out it's over to her yeah uh shaz you're on welcome your thoughts on this one how does how does she tackle this fiddly situation shazza hello can you hear me now yeah we can mate uh what do you think good morning team hi look i think this lady needs to have a sit down with her mom and probably her husband as well and just say to mom,

has he ever offended you in any other way? Was it the once off? And get over it. And she needs to probably have a one-on-one with her husband and say, listen, I heard that my mom was a little bit offended by that joke that you told when you had a few. Maybe you should just say, hey, mum, you know, I'm really sorry about that if I offended you. Get over it.

You die once, you live every day. Oh, Shaz. What a saying. You sound like a real mature grown-up. It seems like a very realistic way to deal with things. I'm going to go down to the mall and get that printed on a coffee cup or something. You die once,

you live every day. Thank you, Shaz. Great insight there this morning. Debbie, we'll get you off in Palmerston North. How do we navigate this one this morning, Debs? I'm of the same thought as Shazza, but in the sense that he may not even know

that he's offended her, so I think maybe they should just say the wife should tell him that he's offended her at a wedding or wherever it was. And then, I don't know, maybe they go and speak to the mother-in-law, but at the end of the day, the mother-in-law needs to get over it.

That's okay. It seems to be the popular opinion. I know, but I hate these confrontational chats. Yeah, they're so confrontational. You're like, oh, God. Can you just imagine mediating that? All of you being in the room. I always find the anticipation of those

conversations are a lot worse than once you get into them. Everyone's just having open, happy dialogue. You work through a resolution. Vic, you're on. Welcome. How are you? I'm good, thanks. Mother-in-law not happy with his lowbrow comedy at the wedding. Doesn't want to go on holiday with her husband What do you think?

Oh, look, I think She definitely shouldn't try to hide it And I think that He should be made aware And they should be having a conversation And then, you know If that, you know She chose her husband

So she might need to make that decision whether they go on holiday. There you go. It's a clean sweep. The first ever Dear Megan with a clean sweep. I think that's the message to pass on, right, Megan? Yeah, well, it's giving me anxiety thinking about this conversation.

Luckily, I don't have to do it, but it seems like you should all just have a chat, and I agree. Tell him and give him the chance to make it up to your mum. Maybe it was the delivery of the joke maybe you can have a round two just to come at it from a different angle

This is where people slide into my DMs with conundrums in their life and we chuck it out to you and we all get to judge and throw our two cents in but they've opted the information out there for people to judge. I would like some follow-up sometimes. Yeah. To see how it went.

Yeah. We've handed out our advice. All care, no responsibility. And we'll get some follow-up on some of these. What's today's? All right, this one. Hi, Megan. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.

I love it when they start like that. Which means you are. Wow, is she. My friend stayed with me and my husband over the weekend and she had a shower and then she came out and sat with me and him on the couch in her towel. Is that weird? I felt uncomfortable.

My husband also felt weird about it, like she is naked under the towel. We are good friends, but she can be pretty free and easy when it comes to how she acts around our group's husbands. What do I do? What would you do? Well, if we look at a towel, I'm assuming wrapped around underneath the armpit,

it's just really an absorbent dress, isn't it? Really, when you put it in that fashion, it's like that. But she's naked underneath. She's not wearing a flannel. Then there'd be questions. That's only just wrapped around. Naked underneath our clothes, technically. We're all naked underneath.

Yeah, but that's not, clothes aren't at risk of just falling off. Right, I see what you're saying. And also, you imagine the towel's short, right? She's sitting down on the couch. What does she want to do? Also, get off my couch if you've got a wet towel. You're damn, you've got a damp towel, you're right. That's not the issue here, Megan, though.

That's the more important issue, though. So is she wanting to know, does she confront her about this? Yeah, does she say, oh, you know, I guess next time, oh God, that's an awkward conversation. The husband's definitely eyes up situation then. No, yeah, the wife brings it up and he's like, oh yeah, I was weird, I was uncomfortable. It was awkward, it was awkward. Oh yeah, I didn't like it. yeah, I was weird, I was uncomfortable. It was awkward. Oh yeah,

I didn't like it. Okay, we'll just bring this to home. It's probably a little bit awkward. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know, I don't know if it's super awkward.

What if you were swimming at the beach, then she'd be in a towel and togs. What if your wife Amanda's friends comes over and stays, then suddenly like after the shower,

comes out, sits on the couch with you in the towel, naked underneath. This is the beginning of a movie. Has a yarn. Careful, is the shower, comes out, sits on the couch with you in the towel, naked underneath. This is the beginning of a movie. Has a yarn. Careful, is your wife listening?

Yeah, maybe a little, but I don't know. Okay, would you need to bring it up with her after? Like, if she walked straight out of the shower, no towel, and sat down, that would be awkward. You know, that's an awkward situation. Or wandering around the house with no clothes on. Would you confront your friend? She's toweling up a storm. Again, moistening up your couch, which is...

I'd probably be more annoyed about the moistening up the couch, to be honest. I'd be like, yo, the couch is wet. I'd be more awkward if it was a bikini. Because I feel like a towel covers up more. So I'm like, you know, like, if you walk there, I'd be like, I don't know. You know, like, what a look.

But you go to the beach with your... But, you know, but right next to, you know, we're having a conversation with, you know. There's more real estate covered with a towel. Okay, so I went out with it. Does this lady confront her friend or does she let it slide? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. Dear Megan. This has divided everyone, which I thought it would be more cut and dry.

So a woman has said her friend stayed over. Her friend stayed over, had a shower, came out in a towel, sat on the couch with her and her husband, and it made her feel uncomfortable. Should she say something? What would you do? Is it appropriate? Now we're giving her a toweling down.

Ben, you don't see anything wrong with it. You see that it's covering up 80% of her body, a towel. I don't think I've got a huge issue with it. It hasn't happened to me, the situation, so maybe it would be awkward in that moment, but I'm kind of like, it's not like it's a flirtation. It doesn't feel flirtatious. How can we set this up in Ben's house and see how it feels about it?

We send over someone to the towel? Yeah. Mate, what if I turn up in a towel on your couch? Yeah, that's fine. Anyone can sit on a towel on my couch. He's probably seen more of you. Yeah, to be honest. And a lot of great texts coming through, but we'll get to the calls first.

Casey, what are we doing? Burning at the stake here? What's going on? No, I sort of see it as, you know, like if she wasn't sort of sitting there and showing things, then I don't see the problem with it myself. And I do feel like you definitely see worse things out and about even at the mall these days. You do.

Some people are wandering around in pyjamas out there. Crazy stuff, mate. Yeah, no, you're right, Casey. There we go. Appreciate that. Great text here, 4487. Would you answer the door in a towel? Go get dressed, you floozy.

Well, I probably wouldn't, but people do, right? You floozy. Love the word floozy. Paul, you're on. Welcome. How are you, Paul? Yeah, g'day. How you going?

Yeah, you floozy. What's going on, mate? It sounds to me like she doesn't actually trust her husband, I would say. Oh, yeah. Might be right. Are you going to see more in a bikini down at the beach? What's the issue?

I don't see those, Paul. I kind of took it that she just kind of felt uncomfortable, but you're taking it from, like, she was worried her husband was eyeballing the situation. Yeah, that sounds like what it is to me. Yeah, well, Paul's brought trust into the, when you start Dropping the T-bombs

It's a bigger conversation Text here 4487 just come through What's the point of saying Make yourself at home If they don't feel comfortable To make themselves At feel at home

Do you know The main problem I have with it Is I wouldn't sit On my own couch In a wet towel Let alone like My mate

I'm coming back to This is the real crime It's not about the wet towel, okay? But I know what you mean. Also that you just wiped yourself with. Can you get off? Yucky. Yeah, Tammy, you're on. What are you doing? You're sitting in your lounge, your friend comes out in a towel

and starts having a conversation with you and your partner. Well, it's pretty disrespectful to both the wife and husband. I mean, you'll often tell your husband or wife off if they come in on your couch with no underwear with the moistness from not their towels getting all over your material.

And when somebody spreads moistness on their couch. Okay, she said it twice. You've got to stop saying the word moistness. Making us feel uncomfortable. But you're right, Tammy. It's disrespectful to the couch. People worry about the couch. The couch is like, help me.

And it's micro-flirting. Let's be honest. Micro-flirting? You think? It's micro-flirting. Who would if you're respectful of your friends, male or female, who would do that? I wouldn't sit on your couch in a towel, Ben.

Like, that's weird. That's weird. That is weird. You're right. That is weird. Producer Taylor, you're coming. I probably wouldn't stay the night, though, at her house, though, too, right? Oh, ouch.

Well, you know, like, it's a mega stay. Now she's having a shower. You know, like, all those things. You know? This is obviously a friend, a close personal friend. I'm not saying not be that relationship coming up to, you know. I know what you're saying. That hypothetical was a weird one.

Taylor. I've got plenty of good female friends that I would never do that to. And for my professional life, I do coaching and that as well. And when I talk to people, yeah, no, that's crossing lots of people's boundaries. It's really it for your friends, both sides. I agree with all your points. All right.

Thank you for your call. What do you want to say, Tame? I don't want to be dramatic or speculate, but I think she was putting the feelers out to see if they were in an open marriage and seeing if there was any chance of hooking up with them. Oh, you guys read a lot into these situations hooking up with them. Oh, jeez. You guys read a lot into these situations. Maybe I don't.

You don't read enough. Someone's just texted in 4487, I once answered the door to scare off a naked Jehovah's Witness. Worked a treat. There you go. That can be. Wait, the Jehovah's Witness was naked? Or they answered the door naked?

I think they answered the door. I don't think the Jehovah's Witness was naked. I think you read that wrong. Jo, would you like to witness this? The Hits, the Jono and Ben podcast. TM Megan. Okay, Megan. People slide into your DMs.

They trust you. They like to share their dirty laundry with you. Then you air out the laundry on the radio. It's a full service. We get rid of stain removals, folding. We do it all, don't we, with this dirty laundry. What's happening today, mate? All right.

So this one, it's sticky. It says, hey, your team. I have a Dear Megan for you. I found out that my husband has slept with one of his friends. It was before we were together, but we hang out all the time, and I've always felt like she didn't like me much. I feel like he should have told me and he's been keeping it a secret. Now I don't want them hanging out, especially because

she isn't nice to me. It makes me think that she still has feelings for him and that's where her hostility is coming from. What do I do now? Please help. I want to know who told her. Like it feels like so much time's passed that he probably hasn't told her. Because, well, to be honest, he wanted to avoid awkward conversation. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's someone in the friend group. Some loose-lipped, nosy parker.

It's tough, though, eh? You can kind of see from his point of view, like, why he didn't want to say anything. And then you probably leave it too long, and then you'd want to go, oh, guess what? By the way, this happened, so. Yeah, I mean, like it does feel like you put it in the nice to know category in terms of information. It would have been nice to know.

So, mate, like you say, you would have ripped the plaster off early on and go, hey, we hang out with this person. Might have smooched. We might have smooched back in the day, but hey. Sounds like more than a smooch. Our rhythm was off, our timing was all out of kilter, and it just was never going to work. Yeah.

And so maybe that's the reason. Has she got a partner now, this new, the friend group girl? Doesn't say. No, doesn't say, doesn't say. But she's saying, I think the bigger problem is, like, you could be fine if they were just friends and she was nice to you. But she's being unkind to her. So that makes you think that, you know, she's still got feeling for the husband.

So the question is, does she ban him from seeing her? Yeah. Or not. Or is she chill with it? Yeah. And quietly fester away over a number of years until she explodes. Just get on with it. The hits.

The Jono and Ben podcast. TM Megan. Where we get someone sliding into Megan's DMs and we get your thoughts on what they should do with a bit of a dilemma. So the issue is

this person found out their husband has slept with one of their friends. It's someone they hang out with a lot. But it was before they were together. But she says she's always felt like she didn't like her much.

So there might be a bit of beef there. And she said because she doesn't like her much, she said maybe she still has feelings for him. What does she do now? I only want to know how she found out this information. Obviously there was some third party troublemaking busybody who launched a grenade into the social battlegrounds and making this poor lady

feel very insecure about life. Yeah. We don't want that. Ben, your advice to her? It's really hard. Like, I kind of feel like the situation, like,

probably best if she didn't know. Like, and, you know, like, I understand why no one said anything. But now it's out there,

you kind of just have to kind of, you're in a relationship, you kind of have to just kind of suck it up and move on. Really? I mean, it does feel like it'd be quite a big move to go, well, now you can't see each other for something that you've only just discovered has happened, but it happened years ago.

Yeah. So I don't know. You can't undo the bumping uglies, can you? The uglies have been bumped. Danique, you're on. Hi there. Not referring to this lady as an ugly either. I really found myself in a bit of a trip up there.

Sorry, Danique. Welcome. Your advice. So my advice would be these two things. Guys often don't mention exes because for them it's done. They have no relevance in terms of meaning to them so he's probably kept her as a friend because their social group calls for that. However she should address the behaviour with her husband so they can tackle it

in terms of what she does with the friend. It's just they don't have one on one time. They go hang out because I bet someone's told them because she's finding it really hard seeing them being really happy and living the life she probably wanted. So it's just spiteful. So she should just go live her life, be with her husband, and any behaviours that happen that are inappropriate, they should just work it as a team.

The point of telling someone this information is to try and get them to not be on the same page and cause a fight. Wow. Are you in a relationship? That's really good advice. Yeah, it's really good. How much do we have to pay you for this session? I'm not qualified, so I can't get paid for it, but

I'm just used to all the friends and their kind of relationships. I've kind of seen when people mention something far back in the friends and their kind of relationships. I've kind of seen when people mention something far back in the past and it causes harm, it's usually with an intention of causing, you know, the two parties not to talk, for her to tell him to not see her, do all this, and it takes away actually what needs to be addressed,

which is the behaviour. So if, for example, she doesn't say hi or says nasty things or like if they're doing a friend thing and she tries to isolate, that's where the hubby can come in and be like, no, me and her are a team or no, that's not cool. If we're not going to do that or she's not invited, you know, we're not going to come. Wow.

It's simple as that. Danique, that is rock solid advice there. You've pretty much summed up the whole situation. You have. Really impressive. I appreciate you taking the time to call this morning. Danique, have a great day. You too.

Bye for now. We've got an anonymous caller now wanting to chime in on this. A lady's just discovered her husband did connect physically with someone in the friend group, but years previous, she's only found out about it. Now, what's your advice? Is this me? That's you. It's hard when you call yourself anonymous, isn't it?

Could be any one of the anonymous people out there. Oh, absolutely. I'm coming at it from the same point as the last caller, really. Like, why? You don't want to make something big out of something that was of the past and ultimately it's the behavior exactly the behavior you want to deal with between the parties because i mean you want to be respectful to each other and a friendship so ultimately you've won the man you've it's already your husband so you know you can't

change what you can't change. That's right. There's only one person going home to him every night. Take him for a good old date. Good on you. Thank you very much for your call. So there you go. That's 100%. Even the text and Facebook messages as well going. What's in the past is in the past.

If you've got an issue, talk with him. Yeah. Or talk with the woman and be like, have you got an issue with me? Just have an out. Was she the one that brought it anyway? We don't know who brought it up. As you say. No, but talk with the woman and be like, have you got an issue with me? Just have it out. We don't know, was she the one that brought it? Anyway, we don't know who brought it up, as you say. No, but she's being mean to her. So just have it up with her, it's got nothing to do with you

and your husband. Someone has slid into Megan's DMs again with a bit of well, a bit of help needed for some advice that we hopefully we can put out to you. Pre-wedding, yeah. And if you have something you'd like to ask the team about in the nation, just slide into my DMs.

We have no experience, don't we? We just say some stuff. But usually the listeners come through with some great advice. Well, technically this is addressed to all of us, so they kind of are asking you as well. It says, hey, John, I've been in Megan. Dump him, dump him. Here is a dear Megan dilemma for you.

Me and my fiance are set to get married in six months, but there is one thing we are disagreeing about, and it has nothing to do with the wedding. I'm keen to join bank accounts, but he really wants to keep separate accounts and keep spending our own money. That just seems weird to me. We are joining together in marriage.

To me, that means joining finances as well. All our bills become shared, so why wouldn't our money? Does that mean he's hiding something or is that a normal thing? Appreciate your guys' help. That's an interesting question. I feel like he still wants to keep his financial freedom and you not knowing what he spends his money on. Maybe.

So yeah, he's hiding stuff. Sometimes we like to go to Burger King, Burgerfield, McDonald's, Wendy's, then go back to KFC all in one day. And we don't want the shame of that being exposed on our bank accounts. It is a tricky one because, you know, imagine there are some people out there

that are in a relationship for many years that may have separate bank accounts. And that's why we still have our own separate bank accounts my wife amanda and i we've always had we haven't but then you have a sort of a joint account yeah we're in the same scenario yeah i feel like once you're married you're married like if if the concern is ownership over how much how much money or finance you're bringing into the relationship well then they're going to have half your stuff anyway, right? Yeah. After a certain period of time. Yeah. So if that's the concern, then you kind of eliminate that

by joining bank accounts. Because I've always found it weird when someone, you have like a joint account and everyone puts money in, like you split the bills because not everyone in a relationship earns the same amount of money. Right, I see what you're saying. So like that might be quite hard for someone to pay half if they're not earning as much

as someone else. Yeah. Automatically I'm painting him as a villain in my head. He's holding onto his cash for nefarious purposes. We don't know that. But maybe that's not the case. No. No, you're right. Maybe it's just genuine like, hey it's definitely giving off, I don't feel like this is going to last vibes

and I want less admin at the back end of it. But what would you do? Andrew's like, hey, I reckon we should keep separate bank accounts heading into this. But it can change though. You can have separate bank accounts and then a few months later you can go, oh, actually let's merge them together. Well, yeah, I don't know. I always find it weird.

But I've always been the breadwinner in the relationship. So Andrew's quite keen to like merge bank accounts. He's like, yes, girl. bank accounts because i know you know from time to time you might make a purchase that you don't want andrew to know about what happens in those situations credit card my friend right okay so separate credit cards for those asos packages you have turning up remember we have a limit though like you wouldn't spend too much over like turn you wouldn't spend over 200 bucks without telling the other person. But then Ben has said, well, sometimes you could buy something for $1.99

and then pay again for another $1.99. All in the same shopping experience. Over two transactions. All right, I'll add with the hits, 4487. What should this person do? Should they be concerned by not wanting to split the, well, not wanting to merge? Does she fight her point? Or is it normal?

Is it okay? The hits. The Jono and Ben podcast. Dear Megan. Dear Megan. Now, Megan, you did such a bang-up job of explaining the scenario just moments ago. I did it more eloquently this time. Here is the scenario.

They're getting married in six months. But she wants to join accounts and he does not want to. She wants to know if this is weird. Does it mean he's hiding something or is it a normal thing to have separate accounts? Oh, money. It's just money at the end of the day, isn't it? All you need it for is somewhere to live, somewhere to eat, somewhere to put petrol in your car. Apart from that, it doesn't matter.

Don't let it affect your relationship. Yeah, I think the less disagreements you can have about money, the better. Like, just chuck it all together and... That's what you did. But I mean, I don't know any other way. Credit cards as well, which is not a bad solution for this, right? Yeah. You still want a little bit of freedom, don't you?

Well, like some people are saying, to be able to buy presents and not have them stumble upon it on your statements. That's right. You want to be able to buy presents for your partner. That's why you need a separate bank account. Damn right, Megan. Let's get Jo on. The advice here,

does this lady pursue this issue any further or just leave it? What do you think there, Jo? I don't think there's a massive issue with wanting separate money, but, like, you're together, so why not put all your money together and then give each other, like, an allowance

for a fortnight or a week or something? But also, when they have kids, like, if they choose to have kids, and if she's staying at home and not working and has no form of income, what's she going to do for money? Like, does she have to ask her partner for money? Then he's got full control.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. Someone's texting here, 4487. Jo, I don't know how you feel about this. We have separate bank accounts, been together for 20-plus years. The bills and food, et cetera, go into one account. The rest of what we earn is ours. Right. And it has never caused any issues in our relationship.

But then when one person's not earning, what happens is what Joe's saying, right? Yeah, survival of the fittest, isn't it? Sucks to be you. I'm going out for dinner. Imagine that. That'd be callous, wouldn't it? Hey, you're still at the supermarket, throw some stuff out in the bins out back if you want to feed.

Yeah. No, I'd see what you mean, Joe. Well, then maybe there needs to be some sort of arrangement, you're still at the supermarket, throw some stuff out in the bins out back if you want to feed. Yeah. No, I see what you mean, Joe. Well, then maybe there needs to be some sort of arrangement where you're like, well, obviously I'm going to look after you. That's right. That's what marriage is about, you know? Tony, we'll get you on. What's your advice for this listener this morning, Tony?

Hey, guys. Honestly, I think it needs to graph a little bit. You're getting married, like, that's a pretty massive step. If, like, another thing, he could have past trauma from a past relationship, joining money. True. It happened to me. My partner and I talked about joining money, and I was a bit sceptical.

But you get past that trauma, you know, if that is the case. But, you know, we've joined money, and we have our spending money that we have, which is, you know, with joint money we have our spending money that we have, which is, you know, for gifts and our own things. But yeah, you know, I think you're getting married. That's a massive step. You're right. And, you know, I mentioned before that after a certain time period, whether you're married or

not married, I think just... Three years, isn't it? Three years. You're going to split up everything anyway. Yeah, 100%. So, when you think about it like that, it's not really. You're going to split up everything anyway. Yeah, 100%. So when you think about it like that, it's not really. And marriage,

like you say, is a huge step. That's a join the bank account situation there, Tony. What happened to you? Did a previous partner rip you off, Tony?

Yeah, I think it was bad karma on my way. But hey, live and learn. Carry on. Well, good advice. Thank you. I appreciate you sharing it with us and the nation this way. But hey, live and learn. Carry on. Well, good advice. Thank you.

I appreciate you sharing it with us and the nation this morning. Have a great day, man. All right, Megan. To be honest, it's really split because a lot of people commented on the Facebook as well. A lot of people are doing separate accounts and it seems to work for them. So I guess it's a conversation you need to have. But if you have worries about it, you definitely need to talk to them and clear the air that he's not hiding anything.