Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast - Dear Megan: The Podcast

Episode Date: April 21, 2025

From cheating scandals and sketchy coworkers to in-law drama and big life decisions—Jono, Ben and Megan dish out advice like your brutally honest best mates. In this special collection of listener dilemmas, we dive into situations like: A husband who’s a little too close with his CrossFit friend Whether to stick around 13 more months just for that prenup Secret hugs and kisses with a male coworker Finding out your Hinge match is now your engaged boss Realising you want kids… but your much older partner doesn’t A best friend who’s hanging with your ex-husband In-laws demanding payment for babysitting Discovering your new husband’s hidden marriage history A husband who’s not on board with you quitting your job to start a business A borrowed lawnmower fiasco that’s spiraled into neighbour beef No topic is too messy. No situation too awkward. Jono, Ben and Megan help people figure out what the heck to do next!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Jono, Ben and Megan podcast, thanks to Dilma. Goodness really does taste great. Dilma, making the world a better tea. Right now though, someone slid into your DMs and this one's to do with following dreams. Starting businesses, yeah, I'm going to read this out and you can pass judgment and give advice if you've got some for this woman. She says Saved up some money, but he says I'm putting our family at risk. I see it as finally taking a chance on myself after years of putting everyone else first. We've always been a great team, but this is causing serious tension between us. Am I being selfish or is he being unsupportive for not believing in me?

Whoa, it sounds like she spent so long not chasing her dreams that people just thought she'd given up on her dreams. You know, people get used to that. Yeah. They're like, this is the norm. This is how this place operates. Especially when you have kids you've got to put them first for a bit and you kind of lose yourself sometimes. Maybe she's come out the other side and she's like, do you know what?

I'm going to do something for me. They do say never too old to give up on your dreams, apart from when Joe Biden was US President. He was officially too old and they told him to give up on your dreams, apart from when Joe Biden was US president. He was officially too old, and they told him to give up on his dream of being president. Although I saw some comedian making a great point the other day, saying, you imagine any relative you had that's 80 years old. Think of them standing up in front of all the people.

He did a remarkable job under those circumstances. Does anyone in your family be like, oh, dear God, no. And there was a lot of that. Yeah, they had to carry him out. They had to walk him out. Yeah, I mean, there was a bit of that. So he might have been too old to give up, you know, the dream of running the country of the US.

But my suggestion, my honest suggestion would be, can she still continue her run-of-the-mill soul-sucking job and at night and on the weekends hack away at the... That sort of side hustle that she built up on. That's maybe one option. On the Facebook page, that is a popular comment. A lot of people have said, well, try and do it part-time, the other job. Build it up.

Rather than quit completely. But there is something to be said about just going for it, you know, and actually not having that plan B and giving it a go. And it sounds like in this instance the husband's not that supportive of that. And I get why, but at the same time, you don't want to look back in 10 years and go, I wish I should have done that, right? Yeah, that's the hard thing. I've got a husband

who every day has a different dream and it's really draining. Well, stop ruining his dreams. Let him dream. No, see, I end up being the realist, but he wanted to start a cafe and I was like,

God, no. We ended up doing it and it went really well for us because he poured himself into it. So I understand both sides. He had a point to prove. He had a point to prove and he proved it beautifully. Yeah. I understand both sides.

Let him spread his wings, Megan. It's really hard to be the person too that puts a handbrake on someone's dream. Yeah. It doesn't go well. I've got a friend at the moment, her partner, he wants to start a business. They've rented an office, him and his mate. They don't have the business yet, but they're renting an office. She's like, okay,

okay, I feel like they've done it the other way around, but it'll come. She's backing him, which is awesome. So he's just gone, well, first port of call, get an office. They play a lot of board games, apparently. Oh my God, that's not going to pay the lease. That's the board meeting. He's had great businesses before in the past to his credit, so you know. Okay, we'll get

cracking on those. Okay, we'll get cracking on those. Yeah, it's great. Okay, I went 100 of the hits. Have you been in this situation? Is the husband being a stick in the mud? Not supportive. Colonel Sanders didn't start KFC until his 60s. Wow.

He had many failed businesses, so you've got to keep ploughing on. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Megan. Someone has slid into your DMs, Megan. Yeah, so a 45-year-old woman, she said she has made the decision to quit her job, follow her dreams of starting a business.

Her husband is nervous because they still have a mortgage, they have children in secondary school. He's obviously a bit worried about money. So you've got a realist and a dreamer trying to live together sounds like my relationship you don't want to get in the position

where she resents staying and not following her dreams but also you don't want to get in a position where you're homeless

and can't pay for the mortgage as well which is another big thing to factor in just mentioned you know Colonel Sanders didn't kick KFC off

until he was in his 60s. Had loads of failed businesses. Imagine if they were the Colonel's partner. Would have been like, mate, Colonel, when are we going to get, now you want to do fried chicken? 65 years old? They always say, imagine the things you could do

if you didn't have a fear. Like, if you weren't afraid of anything, imagine what you could achieve. So maybe this is the advice? You're thinking what's happening on the text? So on our Facebook, this is a great one from Tanita. She said you both need to really talk about the risk you're taking on and the

potential benefits. It's a decision that needs to be made together because it has the ability to affect your entire family. A business doesn't typically make any money in the first year. That being said, it could go really well, so why not go for it? Someone

on the text machine said life is short. I work daily diagnosing people with cancer. She should do it. You don't know what tomorrow will bring. Oh, well there you go. That's got to factor that in as well. Jason, you've been in this position. Yeah. Your advice?

Do it. Just do it. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do. Just do it. And what did you, you left a job, did you, and kicked off a new dream?

Yep, yep, yep. I quit the job I was working for. I had no choice but to start a business and I worked so hard. I still work it hard. It's still as stressful

as ever, but I love it. Sounds like you're living the dream. Well, good on you for doing that, for taking that step, because obviously that's a pretty hard thing to do. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was massive. It was a massive thing to do, but it definitely pays off.

There are times where you earn really good money, and there's a lot of times you're chasing your tail, but it's still worth it. What do you think this woman needs to have to succeed? She's got to have lots of drive. It's constant. I've been in it 10 years, and I just drive and drive and drive and push myself every single day.

Oh, good. At what age did you do this, make this change? I was 40. Wow, good on you, Jason. Wow, good stuff. Jason, we're going to hook you up. It's April Fuels today, and thanks to Gas Petrol Service Stations, we're going to hook you up with a $50 gas gift card.

Oh, nice. Thank you. Good on you, Jason. Appreciate that. Kimbo, you're on the air. Morning, guys. Morning. Welcome to Dear Megan.

You have some advice. Is it time for her to give up on her dreams or chase them? Oh, no. I think do it, do it, do it. I had, well, a similar situation. I was an early childhood teacher for nearly 20 years and it just wasn't filling my cup anymore and I decided to jump the fence to primary

but I didn't have a permanent job so I just, my husband was like, just quit. Go relieving. We'll sort it. We'll make it work. And now two years on, I've got a permanent job at a special needs school in Pairoa and I absolutely love it. Oh, that's great, Kim. That's great. If I hadn't done it, I would have still been miserable. It's been an inspired morning. I think it's all inspired everyone to quit their jobs and go and live their dreams.

I think that's what we're saying. Is that the advice that we're going to give to the follower dreams? I think so. There's quite a few people on the Facebook page being like, no risk, no reward. Go for it. You only live one life. Well, don't come back to us in six months if it doesn't work out. But right now, follow your dreams and give it a go.

That's the advice. Talk it through with your husband too. Yeah. Also, yeah, this is just radio people advice for people who have no idea who you are or what your situation is. You can always fold the business and get another job, right? Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Absolutely. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. It's Rihanna, only girl in the world at 7.28 on a Tuesday morning holiday on Waitangi Day. Looking pretty good weather-wise. A little bit of rain maybe at the bottom of the South Island, but the rest of the country looking pretty good. Did a bit of a Pulse of the Nation poll, didn't we, before 7 o'clock.

4, 4, 8, 7 if you're taking Friday off and you've been organised, unlike the rest of us. It's a bit 50-50 there, Ben Boyce. All right. I know you put it on the education system, saying the schools will be operating Friday. Well, my schools are just getting back right this week. So they can't really go, hey guys, take another day off. TM Megan.

Yeah, Megan. Every week someone slides into your DMs and we air their filthy, disgusting laundry on the radio, cast opinion and judgement, pat them on the bottom and send them on their way with a bit of advice. Nailed it. That's exactly what we do. Okay, this one this morning says Hey team, I'm writing to

see what you guys would do in my situation. My husband of 15 years has decided to get into CrossFit at 42 years old which is great. I do worry that he's going to hurt himself, but it makes him happy. My main issue is that he has become really close

with another woman at his CrossFit class. They go to competitions and they travel together, but he says they stay in different rooms. It feels a little intense. They spend so much time together and now go away together all the time. I don't want to be overbearing, but it does honestly make me feel uncomfortable.

What do you guys think? Should I be worried? And do I say something? My honest opinion, yeah. Say something. Yes, you should be worried. The gyms are a sweaty, moist place environment. There's a lot of thrusting and I'm worried. I don't know, but the gyms are a sweaty, moist place environment. You know?

There's a lot of trusting and grunting and huffing and deep breathing. So Jono says, yes, be worried. And here comes Switzerland. Well, I'm going to say no.

Well, not necessarily be worried. Not necessarily. If you're trusting of your partner and you're trusting of the person that they're with, then there's no reason to be worried. If you're not trusting of someone, then that's where the big question mark comes in and maybe that's where this person is i mean i've got mates female mates i'll go off to sports games with

them by myself and my wife has got friends from work that she'll go off and have coffees with and talk about stuff and i have no problems she has no problem because you trust the situation you trust the person they're with yeah but on this instance, maybe she doesn't trust one of the parties. Well, she might not know the other party, too. Yeah, and maybe she does need to get to know the other party. I mean, every relationship's got its, how do I word this, what each person is comfortable with. That's special to that relationship.

Only those people can decide how far the boundaries can stretch. Oh my God, that's so mature. Thank you. Listen to you. It's the smartest thing I've ever said. We travel all the time together for work. Yeah, true. And what is, you know, our partner's going,

okay, so let's say you and I, Megan, we go away together for work. Yeah. Now, whatever, I would say my partner's had no problems with that. Nah. You know? Yeah, I know, but you're not bloody

humping and pumping iron And you know together Unless you two When we go away You go off to the gym together We could go to the gym together Yeah That'd be fine No problem

Just go to the gym with me Well I guess When you put it like that That seems fine But I guess But has she hung out With this girl Because that's the thing

Our partners I'm not a threat I know what you're saying I'm not a threat Lining you up Andrew's like That's all good He's like Yeah you can go away With that not afraid. Andrew's like, that's all good. He's like, yeah, you can go away with it.

Go away with it. Weird middle-aged guy. If you want, that's fine. I know nothing's going to happen. But I there's two things for me. I think if he's going to cheat, he's going to do it regardless whether you put parameters on him or not. So just

you've got to let it happen. Just be chill. Let them. Let them. That's the phrase. My other theory is, like, if you're uncomfortable about anything in your relationship, you should always voice it. Okay.

4487 is our text number. 0800 the hits. That's the foot of the answer. Maybe you've had a situation where you have trusted someone and unfortunately it hasn't worked out. Or other times you're like, no, totally, that's sweet. Should she get a hotter CrossFit partner named Enrique and enter the same competition?

Maybe. Oh, I heard the hits. 4487. Love to help out this listener in need. After Post Malone, I had some help. It is the hits. 7.32. John O'Bannon Megan.

The podcast. The hits It's 7.35 on a Tuesday morning The Super Bowl course on Monday And he's taking part in some Bud Light commercials That are doing the rounds on the internet Very funny Yeah

It's like they're in a cul-de-sac aren't they Who's the other guy he's with? He's got a Netflix show A comedian He's called Tires The Netflix show It's quite a big show on Netflix And they're just like thrusting

Cans of Bud Light all over the neighbourhood, and they're like invites to come to their party. TM Megan. Cool description of the ad, Jono. No need to watch it now, guys. Jono just painted pictures with words. We need your help this morning.

Someone has slid into my DMs saying they've pretty much lost their husband to CrossFit. A lot of people lost their, a lot of people to CrossFit over the weekends. What were those games called? There was a huge CrossFit sort of tournament going on, right? Yeah. A lot of shirtless people were like incredibly doing a lot of great stuff. Making us all feel bad.

Our boss was like, I didn't realise it was on. They should have posted something on social media about it. Facetious. Yeah, I think he was being facetious. I saw a lot of it on social media. But hey, good on these people. Amazing. It does make you feel guilty when you watch stuff like that, doesn't it? It's like, oh my God. Over the weekend, I think I had about

29 Heinekens. You do you, Bates. Yeah, but I was watching them and I was feeling healthier. Yeah. So there's a lot of feedback on this one on the text. So he's a gym boy now, but the thing is So he's a gym boy now, but the thing is he's going away for CrossFit competitions and he's going away with a female from the gym. Now, the wife is like, how do I feel about this?

Like, should I be worried? Yeah. Well, 4487, I would not be comfortable. Hell no. Hit him up and let him know how you feel if he gets cagey. Time to walk. That's a get out of it. That's a bit cool.

A lot of people on the text machine are saying support him. Go on a trip. And then you get to kind of get, you know, you not only support the person, your partner, but you also get to snoop around. Yeah, a lot of people say go with him. Go with him. Oh, Terry O'Motive. But here's the thing.

They might have kids. Like, they've been married 15 years. Are you going to take the kids away every weekend to competitions? The kids might have stuff going on. Maybe it's just not feasible. I mean, the downside is you have to sit around for six hours at a bloody CrossFit competition. You know, if you want to put yourself through that, your relationship. Text here, and this is very surface level, but it's a factor that comes into play.

How hot is she? How hot? You know it does hot you know it does you know it does megan no one always has a threat i guess in some there's probably another way of putting that but i guess i know what you mean well yeah because you know that they get along so is she also attractive is she the full package for him no you said before like andrew's gonna look at me and go, hey, he's not threatening. I don't know how to answer that. Got a 12-month OE with that guy. Exactly. Yeah, go with your gut feeling. A lot of people are saying if you feel like there's something going on,

often there is. But basically, I expected everyone to be a bit more chill about it. Everyone's saying it's not okay. It's not okay. Right. I feel like it can be. I honestly feel like it can not okay. It's not okay. Right. I feel like it can be. I honestly feel like it can be okay. Honestly, it can totally be okay.

Well, the other thing is he wouldn't be so open about it, would he? If there was stuff going on, he wouldn't be like, I'm off to CrossFit with hot Denise again. It sounds like it's happening all the time, and I get when you've got a hobby, that's cool. You want to do it all the time. But why does he want to be away from his wife all the time with this other woman?

Making them gains, baby. It's like red flags for me. He's looking good. I'm sure he's looking good. At least have the conversation and say you're not comfortable and see what he comes back with. There you go, that's the message. Thank you so much. If you'd love to be part of Dear Megan and have us talk about your personal issues on the radio, please slide

into Megan's DMs during the week. You can be anonymous like that person was, but next you could be winning $1,000. We've got the Alpha Quiz is next on The Hits. Jono, Ben and Megan. Cheers to Dilma making the world a better tea. No trade. A quarter of a century

of super hits and superstars. We've come a long way baby. The Hits. Top 100. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The Hits. Yeah, Megan.

Someone slid into your DMs, Megan. This is a really interesting situation. I kind of feel like there's not going to be a winner, but I would be really keen to hear from someone if you've ever been in this situation. It's a tough one. So it says, hi, team. Can I get your opinion and your listeners' thoughts on this?

I've got an older partner who I've been with for four years. He has older kids from his previous relationship. When we first got together, he told me he didn't want any more children. But four years later, I'm feeling my clock ticking, and I've decided I really want to have a child of my own. I love this man so, so much, Just a tough one because he's done everything right. He's been open in his comms. He's been straight up and down. He hasn't misled.

And on her side of the fence, people change. Wants and needs change over time. That's the thing. I don't think there's a bad guy in this situation. Everyone's got a right to their choice. Can you dress him up as a baby? Aesthetically, if all you're wanting is a baby. You can kind of get your fix that way.

You said she could go to a donor and have a baby. Aesthetically, if all you're wanting is a baby, you can kind of get your fix that way. You said she could go to a donor and have a baby, but then he's still going to end up raising it and being a part of it. Well, it depends

what his issue is with having the kids. Is it him having to be responsible for them? Because obviously you've got to, if you've created them, there's a level

of responsibility there. Up to the age of 18, legally, I think, but beyond that as well. But if they're in a relationship, he's still going to be responsible. Yeah, they should have to split for that situation to work, really. And obviously it's not something that sounds like she wants because they sound like they're in love. It's really tricky when people can't match up.

Choose between loving this man or leaving and having a child? Can you steal a baby and then just give it back at the end of the day? So you just get part-time baby access. Could you be satisfied with being like an auntie? I don't know if it's the same thing in that situation. Some people get puppies. Don't they just satisfy that man? That gets a little bit weird, but anyway, that's an option.

Well, I suppose it is. If you're just wanting to care for something. Okay, 4, that's an option. Oh, I suppose it is. If you're just wanting to care for something. Okay, 4487 on the text. Oh, 800 the hits. Maybe you've been in a similar situation. Is it the end

of a relationship or can you work through it if two people want different things? I hear you, Ben. If she desperately wants a baby, she's going to have to leave.

Going to have to break it off. Or has anyone been in a situation where someone has been persuaded and didn't work out? Yeah. Or were they resentful?

Because, you know, at one stage there's going to be an argument down the track. One time they don't sleep through the night and they're going to be like, I didn't want this. It's always good for the kids to hear those arguments too. This is all your fault, kids. Pull it in your holster, ready to go at any stage, right? Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits.

So basically someone got into a relationship with an older man who has kids to a previous marriage and he said, I don't want more children. Four years down the track

as her clock is ticking, she said she wants to have a child of her own. What does she do now? She wants to know if she should try and twist his arm into it or does she leave?

On Facebook, a lot of people are saying communication is key. It does sound like she's talked to him. Bonnie said leave him. Obviously, you're a cool chick. Don't give up on your future just because he doesn't want kids. Imagine getting old

and then thinking I should have. What about a bit of reverse psychology? Pretend that she's really loving the non-kid lifestyle, which might make him into thinking, well, I'll show you, let's make some kids, you know? I don't know if that's how healthy relationships work. That's how they always pan out.

Shannon said talk to him about it before making any decisions. Definitely don't trap him into a child he's not wanting to bring into the world. Yeah, that's fair enough. That seems to be a good consensus. He probably needs to weigh up how badly she wants the baby or how madly in love with this man she is. Probably both.

That's probably the problem. Anonymous, great to have you on. Hello. Hello. You've got a convenient name that your parents gave you. I know, isn't it? Yeah. Now, have you experienced this situation, Anonymous?

I've been in exactly the same position. Oh, really? Yeah, now what, have you experienced this situation, Anonymous? I've been in exactly the same position. Oh, really? Yeah, exactly. So I was with my ex-husband for nine years. He had three children. When I met him, obviously they were younger. But he had three, he was very clear, didn't want any more children, that's it. And I didn't at that stage, because I was only in my early 20s, not a problem, you know,

fine, we've got three kids, that's great. And then I got to 30 and the clock started ticking, as it does. It's a real thing, honestly. And I thought, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, I need a child, maybe just one. I just need a baby. And so reluctantly he agreed and we had a child. And I was saying this is a bit naughty, but a couple of weeks later he had the snip. I think he was making it very clear that he was not going to do it again. Last one. He's like, if anything, if I can saw it off, I will. Yeah, yeah.

He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, we're done now. And consequently, I'm on the other side of the world raising my son on my own. Oh, really? So it didn't work out for the relationship? It did not work out. It was, it's really hard.

I know people are making light of it as well, but honestly, it's such a heart-wrenching decision. And to the moment I had him, he was there. And it's almost like when I had my son, he just disappeared. He was gone. Because he didn't want to be there. He didn't want the child. Don't get me wrong. He's a fantastic dad, and they have forged a brilliant relationship.

He didn't, you know. Yeah, well, that's good. One side of the world to the other. But he didn't want the child, and he made it clear, and I pushed, and that's what happened. And no regrets? Big regrets. Yeah. Not fors? Big regerts. Yeah.

Not for my son. I've said that a hundred times over. But the way that it ended and not listening and maybe as some viewers have suggested, sorry, listeners, that she perhaps, if she wants the baby that badly, she maybe needs to leave him.

Think about leaving him and just trying to find another way. And that's also putting the child at the forefront too because the kid doesn't want to grow up in a household with parents bickering away the whole time. Because they pick up on stuff. They know if they feel a resentment for the parent. Yeah. I left when he was 18 months old,

so I've done that on my own. Wow. He's now 18. Well done on what you've done, but thank you for sharing that with us. I hope she just really takes it all in and really works out what she wants in her life, and if she really wants the child,

then she's got to find a different way. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. People slide into she's got to find a different way. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. People slide into Megan's DMs. They trust her. No one's ever slid into my DMs and asked me anything. I don't know how or why it started, but people do ask me lots of advice.

Someone slide into mine and ask me anything, and medical advice. What's this bump on my forearm? It'll take anything. So, yeah, I mean, now it's thick and fast because we keep doing it on here. But that's fine. Any kind of dilemma, it doesn't matter. And today, it's a dilemma with the neighbour.

So, dear Megan, I'm not sure if this is the kind of thing that people usually ask you about, but I would love your opinion. Anything's welcome. My neighbour and I have always gotten along and we're friendly. Recently I borrowed his lawnmower while I'm in the process of buying a new one.

He was happy to lend it to me but when I tried to use it, it wouldn't start. I returned it to him. Now he's asking me to pay for the repair. I obviously don't want to but he says I broke it so I'm responsible for fixing it. I obviously don't want to, but he says I broke it, so I'm responsible for fixing it.

What do you think? Well, you can't prove that you didn't break it. That's the only thing. Yeah. I really don't want to pay for something I know I didn't break. But obviously the neighbour that loaned it thinks that it was in good working condition when it was loaned, right?

Do they? Loaned? Loaned? Loaned. Lended. Yeah, lended. Do they though? Oh, you reckon they? Loaned? Loaned? Lended. Yeah, lended. Do they though? Oh, you reckon they may be trying to pull a swift one?

That's a very sadistic play. I'm going to hand you a lawnmower I know doesn't work and then when you try and start it, I'll claim for you. Just come and fix your lawnmower. Especially if they get on a ride. Do you know, I was thinking about this last night. The exact same situation happened to me

with a water blaster. Like I borrowed the neighbor's water blaster. He was not out at the time and his wife was like, oh, here you go. Went to use it and it just started to sputter. And I'm no good with, you know, like. You're not going to problem solve that. And I was like, oh, God, it's not working. And then so I went and bought a new one and then took it back later.

And I was like, hey, sorry, it's not working. And then he was like, oh, you grabbed that one. And I grabbed his one that wasn't working. You didn't go and check first? No, so that's how I've now got a water blaster that I don't use. Oh, so you bought a brand new one? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Can I borrow that? Yeah, you can. Go on. It's not too much of my business. Who has a broken water blaster and a functional water blaster in the same room? I was in the process of throwing it out, but his wife didn't know that. Oh, there we go. So in that case, I bought one, but in hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have.

Okay, so 800 hits. What do you do in this situation? Legally, where would you stand? Yeah, what is the legal point here? I suppose your only argument is, look at my grass. I didn't mow any of it. I tried to start it, didn't start. That's a good point.

So that could kind of prove that the mower was never functioning. Yeah, that's a really good point. You kind of don't know how far along the conversation they've gotten. Has he had that conversation? Are they arguing about it? Is he putting his foot down? Because then you've got to say, well, how important is the relationship to you? This is why you have AstroTurf, isn't it, Ben?

Moments just like this. He's gone full Lorax mode around his household. I'm just leaning towards, like, you didn't break it. Don't pay for it. Okay. You didn't break it. Okay, well, yeah, I guess you're right in this instance. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hits. I am Megan. Someone again has slid into your DMs, Megan. This one involves borrowing a lawnmower with a neighbour. Yeah, so they say, my neighbour and I have always gotten along well. I borrowed the lawnmower while I'm in the process of buying a new one.

He was happy to lend it to me, but when I tried to use it, it wouldn't start. So I've taken it back to him now, and he's asked me to pay for the repair. I don't want to because I didn't break it. Lending stuff, I'm always, my family gets sick of me saying this, but I'm like, if you lend something, don't expect to get it back. It's my motto.

And you've got to be prepared that it's going to go. Because it may not happen. Nine times out of ten, you're lending something to a mate and I don't mind doing it, but I'm like, I've got to be comfortable with the fact it probably won't come back. Yeah, never a, Annie Pryor's mantra, my mother, never a borrower nor lender be. Oh, really? Well, it always, you know,

nine times out of ten it ends badly. Sometimes you're like, oh, sweet, that's just a topic. It might come back, but I probably will say goodbye to it.

You're right, actually. Most of the time I've lent things, I've never gotten back. You do. It's you too, right? You have to be comfortable with that before you lend it,

I feel like. You're almost surprised if it comes back. I know, but like a lawnmower's different. No, you're right. A lawnmower's coming back. You can't surprised if it comes back. I know, but like a lawnmower's different. No, you're right. A lawnmower's coming back. You can't expect that to come back.

Yeah, especially if you're next door to someone that you borrowed it from, and this is the case, right? Debra, we'll get you on this morning. Welcome to the show. Welcome to Dear Megan Debs. Now, what are your thoughts? I just thought if you can take it to someone that can give you kind of an opinion

and then they can kind of maybe determine who caused the problem. I see. So you get to the point where you're like, see, it wasn't me. Yeah, you're probably right. Yeah, yeah. Whether it's been something long term or it's just recently been broken. The mechanic might be able to be like, well, this is wear and tear. You're like, well, then it's not my issue, is it?

From the neighbour's point of view, though, who owns the lawnmower, if someone hasn't mowed their lawns, they're like, the thing didn't start. Yeah, true. You've got to kind of, yeah. It's a very good one. You're right. You can clearly see if they've used it or not. You'd have to go through the whole lawn and see if there was a little patch.

Hang on, hang on. There's a blade of grass there. You know there'll be some neighbours that would do that. Yeah. I want to see it. Corey, welcome. Where do you sit on this? Well, I think personally he should have started it first,

and then if he didn't start it, he shouldn't have to pay for it because it would already be broken, you know. It's a good idea. Yeah. If you go to the marketplace and you want to buy something, I always show you firsthand one thing. That's probably, I mean, probably an unusual thing to do at the neighbour's. Show me it goes before I take it away.

All right, now I'll borrow it. Thank you. There is a level of trust when a neighbour lends you a lawnmower. You assume it's working, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, you assume it's working, but you never know. It might not be. You get slipped up. Okay, so what do they do now, though? He's in a position where he's been accused of breaking it.

He's like, I haven't broken it. They're at a stalemate. I reckon she should go over and actually see if she can get him to start it, see if there's actually something wrong with it, or if there's just a fuel blockage. I guess you could take it for a repair. It's a repair shop. Go halves in it?

And go, hey, what is going on here? Do you think it's something that I could have done? Yeah. I mean, you don't want to be on Neighbours at War, do you, over a lawnmower? No. But that would make a great Neighbours at War episode. That was a good show.

Yeah. You don't want to be that guy doing all that barking and all those steps trying to do a lawnmower impression, do you? No, I'm the Australian guy. Yeah, it came down and over. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. The other option is

pack all your stuff up and move out in the middle of the night. Buy a new house so you never have to see the neighbour ever again. I mean, that's extreme, but it's an option. It's an option. Chucking options out.

I'm going to flick you out a merch pack. Thanks so much for your call. We appreciate it this morning. From Merch Madness, we've collected all of your finest corporate clothing. Megan, what advice are we handing over here? Well, if I was a neighbour, I would never expect someone

else to pay for my lawnmower, but if he's insisting, then I guess maybe take it to a mechanic. It depends on how much you value the relationship. You live next door to this person. You probably don't value it much, it's just they are right there. You don't want neighbours at war, take it to a mechanic.

Slipping meat into her pram and also people slipping into her DMs. Megan. Okay, full disclosure. This message was quite long. So we did simplify it so I could chuck it up on social media. So I do have some extra details that I didn't include in here in case we need them. Okay. But this is the dilemma.

Hey guys, I need some advice. I've been with my husband for nearly nine years and recently discovered he's cheating. But this is the dilemma. Now I'm torn. Do I stay for 13 more months and secure that or leave now and cut my losses? Has anyone been through this? What should I do? My initial thoughts are suck it up, keep quiet, play it cool, don't give anything away for 13 months and then, you know, set yourself up financially. But we also need to ask, does she love the man? She does, yeah. So there's a chance to reconcile.

Like, if she's figured out he's cheating, then maybe she'll be like, hey, can we work through this? She, so extended message says she does love him, but she's done with it. She doesn't want to. She's seen messages and they're explicit. Right. So she doesn't want to continue.

So obviously the prenup, is that like, you know, when you're together for a certain amount of time. De facto relationship. Prenup, yeah, de facto. But obviously prenup takes that out of the equation. That's a whole other agreement. I've done a little bit of research, but if anyone knows and disagrees with me,

please message us, 4487. My understanding is you go into, you get a prenuptial agreement if you are unequal in finances or assets beforehand, and that overrides any de facto. Right. So she could just be quiet for 12, 13 months, treat it as a long-term investment plan, and be set up for life.

Well, it sounds like she'll be set up substantially for life. Yeah. But do you want to do that? Like for your mental health and things like that. Because she's going to sit there. It's a long time. Yeah, it is a long time. And there's money, everything.

You know, when you're. But what's to stop her still pursuing another relationship? She can move on mentally. True. Yeah, well, I guess she moves on mentally. But it sounds like she might still be in love with this person. What happens if he, before this 10-year period, says, hey, I've fallen in love with someone else,

I'm going to run off with them? What does that leave her with then? You're right, they can do that 12 months down the track. She gets nothing. So some people on the text machine have said if he's cheated, that puts the prenup null and void. Not necessarily. So you can have an infidelity clause in some places, but some places around the world, they don't let you because they say that's a mistake in marriage and people shouldn't be punished for mistakes.

Okay, put yourself in this messy situation. What are you doing? Help out this person. Are you sticking? What are you doing? Help out this person. Are you sticking? What are you doing? Initially, I was like, mental health is everything. Cut it and run. Because, like, yuck.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Really kicking off on the text machine, this dear Megan, isn't it? Dear Megan. Just quickly again, the dilemma that came through to you, what Megan was. So, someone who's been with their husband nine years, recently discovered he's cheating. If she

stays with him for ten years yeah, ten years she gets settlement payout. But she's got to deal with him for another 13 months of his cheating. She's got to hang in there. What does she do? This is kicking off on 4487 on the text machine.

A lot of people starting their comments by saying, I'm not a lawyer, but here's some legal advice. So we do appreciate that. A lot of people saying that a prenup just applies on separation, no matter the reason for the separation. So if you're saying that there's a cheating clause, I guess you can get anything written into an agreement. But she gets a certain amount after 10 years. Right. There's a time frame on it. We're going to go to Tracy. I guess you can get anything written into an agreement. But she gets a certain amount after 10 years.

Right. There's a time frame on it. We're going to go to Tracy. What would you do? If this was you, are you sticking it out for 13 months, politely nodding and smiling

and waiting for your payday? Yeah, I sure am. Yeah, she needs to, first of all, go and see a therapist. Talk it out. Get herself strong, mentally strong, get her ducks in a row, and then, you know,

if she happens to get herself some as well at the meantime, I mean, who can play that game? If he wants to go somewhere else, why can't she? Oh, right. She was just saying, get some therapy, get a hoon, wait for your cash. Also, someone said she might be, you know, like struggling to get the payout in the end if he finds out or whatever or breaks it off early.

But what's to stop her in the meantime? Siphoning some cash. Oh, yeah, true. Buying some nice things. 100%. Appreciate your call. What I love is there's some CEO out there right now and we're all as a nation plotting his demise.

And he has no idea. Denise, we're going to get you on. Now, this is quite personal to you, Denise, this situation. Yes, it is. My daughter was with her partner 14 years. Had been married for two and a half years and bought a house three, four months before he told her. Well, yeah, he sort of admitted it.

Said they were just friends. But to watch the mental anguish that she went through, nah, I wouldn't recommend anybody fix it up. I just don't think that you can have that person coming home to you every day and being okay with that. My daughter's a strong person, but nah. I would walk away. He's probably done it before the 10 years,

knowing that there's a clause anyway. And who says this is the only one that he's with? Yeah, that's a pretty good point. Especially because she says she's still in love with him. So you're saying it's not worth the anguish. The money ain't worth the anguish, Denise. No, money's not worth that, I tell you.

She doesn't say how much money, though. Yeah, you're right. Is there a figure that you'd put on mental anguish, is there? Megan, please. I would try my best. So many texts and calls coming through, like heaps. Do you know what?

I really thought more people would say cut and run. But to be honest, most people are saying try and stick it out and take him for all he's worth. Chevelle, quickly, we'll get yours quickly before Megan gives the response. What would you do, stay or leave? Absolutely leave. Absolutely leave. My ex-husband also peed on me.

I could have taken him for half of his money, half of his businesses, everything else and honestly I would rather just walk away with my head held high and it's exactly what I did. Wow. It's not worth the hassle. You're a better woman than Megan. No, this is the thing.

And you don't know what you're doing unless you're in that actual We're all saying this in theory but you're coming from're doing unless you're in that actual... That's what I was going to say. We're all saying this in theory, but you're coming from experience. And when you're in that moment, you just want to get free, get away from it. Exactly. But the other thing is, is he's probably also aware of the prenup. So he's probably going to end up leaving here right before then anyway. And if she stayed for another year and still got nothing because it was just before the cutoff time, I mean, what's that going to do for him as well?

Yeah, exactly. But I'm thinking he's quite egotistical, right? Because he feels like he's got away with it this long. He thinks he's getting away with it. What's your advice? Yeah, what's your advice, Vinnie? The advice on the text is to take him for all that he's worth and hang in there for 13 months.

Someone who's a lawyer has just texted her saying the worst thing you can do is listen to people on the radio. And I was going to say, go to a lawyer. Go to a lawyer. Relationship property lawyer is what they said. I was going to say, go to a lawyer and read through your prenup and get assistance from someone who really knows the details. It literally is the worst thing you can do is take advice from people on the radio.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Hear Megan. Alrighty. This is what we do every week. If someone has slid into Megan's DMs with a dilemma, we put it to you

to help them out in need. They are often relationship ones. They don't have to be. Any dilemma that you want us and the whole country to pass judgment on. If you're feeling lost, confused, made a terrible life decision, don't go to a professional.

Come to some randos on the radio. Please slide into Megan's DMs. So this one reads, Dear Megan, I know you've been divorced, so I'm keen to know what you think about this. Unnecessary dig there on Megan's marital career. It's not a dig. I recently found out that my best friend has been hanging out with my ex and she didn't tell me. I wouldn't mind if they ran into each other casually, but they've been grabbing coffee, texting, and even went to a concert together.

When I asked her about it, she said she didn't think it was a big deal. For context, this man broke my heart and she was the one who comforted me through the divorce. I feel totally betrayed, but she insists they're just mates and that it's not a big deal. Am I being too dramatic?

What do you guys think? You're never being too dramatic. Your feelings are your feelings, first of all. Don't let anyone call you dramatic. No, you're right. It's a tough one. It's not a tough one. She's 100 years.

She shouldn't be hanging out with him. She's broken. That's BS. What is happening there? So the question is, does she ditch the friend? I would. Because she doesn't have other people she can hang out with who make her feel good. I mean, people are going to do what they're going to do.

She can't stop them hanging out. You can't control that part of the equation. So ditch her. Yeah. If she was the one that comforted you when this guy is breaking your heart, like what is she thinking? Well, I would love to know what their relationship was like before the breakup, the friend and the partner. All three of them tight. Yeah, were they like good mates and been good mates for ages? Because in those instances, I feel like sometimes, you

know, they're like, well, I haven't broken up with this person why can I not be friends with this person it's a good point you know sometimes when people's relationships fall apart and it happens you're like well I had a friendship with this person and now all of a sudden because I've got a friendship with you I can't be friends with them that's between you two I'm not saying this is the case that's why I'd love

to know more of those details. Messy because you're good friends with the woman who's like crying because this guy broke her heart. Yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to see the other side of it. And also, were they friends before this or were they only friends because of the relationship?

Exactly. Were they girls tight before this guy came along? Yeah. Because then, like when I got divorced, we went with our own friends. Do you know what I mean? Right. So you took your friends that were with you beforehand.

You bring your friends. It's like your possessions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The you took your friends that were with you beforehand. You bring your friends, it's like your possessions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The friends you bring in, the friends you take. You got them in the split. Who knows who gets the dog and who the dog loves more. But my only solution is some black magic. Black magic and curse them with gastro or something for the rest of their days.

Lifelong gastro nightmare. Okay, 0800 that's. Have you been in this situation? Do you know someone who's in this situation? Hanging out with an ex of yours or an ex of the friend group? Is it awkward? Is it weird? Is it means for the ending of a friendship?

John O'Bannon Megan. The podcast. The Hats. We like to do when the messages come through and people do like DMing you, Megan, with a bit of a dilemma that we can put to you listening right now and see if we can get a resolution to help them out. So today's message says, I found out recently my best friend has been hanging out with my ex

and she didn't tell me. We're talking coffee dates, texting. They went to a concert together. When I asked her about it, she said she didn't think it was a big deal, but this man broke her heart. They've been through the divorce She feels totally betrayed By her best friend

What does she do? Ditch the friend This is the big question Ben you said How tight were they? Is it trio? I'd love to know Beforehand

Of what the relationship Was like between the mate And her ex Before the relationship To say Could they revert back to that? Now If they weren't that tight during the marriage but now have formed a friendship, how would you feel? Yeah, that maybe would make me go, it's a bit, you know.

Cutting the nail on it. Okay, Michael, great to have you on this morning, mate. Yeah, mate. Your thoughts on this. What advice would you give? Well, at the end of the day, a male and a female can be friends. True. It's actually ended.

I believe that she just needs to trust her friend. Trust is a huge thing. Trust a friend. Okay. Does she need to have her ex-husband as her friend, though? Especially when he broke her heart. It sounds like there's, like, you know, I mean, we don't know the details of that. No, we don't, yeah.

We're talking her best friend, they broke up, and then she's hanging out with her ex-husband. Does that friendship need to happen? Well, at the end of the day, anyone can be friends. Like, he could, she could just be comforting him. He could go through it all the time. Who knows? Yeah. You don't know, Michael.

I bet she's comforting him. You don't? I bet she is. You don't know that. Yeah, physically, but you know. Yeah. I mean, let's be honest. It's called a spade a spade.

There's probably easier friendships to have than the current one. Yeah, yes. It is a tricky situation, but. Michael, Michael sees the good in people. Yeah, okay. Good on you, Mike, but... Michael sees the good in people. Yeah, okay. Good on you, Mike. They can be friends, according to Michael. Lots of messages coming through on text and also on Facebook, Megan.

Natalie on Facebook, I like this one. She said, in your hardest time of your life is when you see who your really supportive and loyal friends are. Being divorced myself, I know how hard this all is. Sometimes we just have to let people go who don't actually care for how they make you feel. This is very true. Lou has been in a relationship, she said 18-year friendship. And when we were going through the final stages of our marriage ending, my best friend was messaging him, checking in on him, making him dinner and having parties

when I was at home with three kids and she did not check on me once. So she lost a friend and a husband at the same time. What a good friend she is though. You know, making food for the poor fella. He's traumatised about the whole event. Jeff, what do you reckon mate? What advice have we given to this poor lady?

Morning guys. I reckon she already knows her friends with benefits so don't expect an invite to the wedding That's Jeff, full stop beginning and end It does seem like that It seems like she had her eye on him

the whole time See Jeff gets it Jeff that's what he's going to say Megan what are you going to reply back after seeing all the texts, all the correspondence? I would say majority on Facebook are from women being like, absolutely not your friend. You can tell her how you feel, that it really upsets you,

and if she's not respecting your feelings, then she's not your friend. What about Michael? Trust. Women, Michael? Yeah. You had a good point. Maybe not good enough for Megan. No, you've broken girl code, my friend.

Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. Maybe not good enough for Megan. No, you're broken girl code, my friend. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Dear Megan. All right, what's today's DM? Okay, this reads, Dear Megan, I love my husband's parents and they adore their grandchildren,

but recently they've asked to be paid for looking after them. I was a bit shocked because I assumed they enjoyed spending time with the kids and not treating it as a job. I completely understand that looking after the kids is hard work and I don't want to take advantage of them but money has never been part of the equation before. We're not in a particularly comfortable financial position so now I feel strange about asking them should I pay them,

try to find another option or have an awkward conversation about it. What do you think? Hey, I'll front foot and say it's a little unorthodox from the grandos to demand money for hanging out with their children, their grandchildren. Yeah, well, you think that. But then there's no probably, when you scale it back, there's no obligation as such. I mean, you do think that all grandparents would want to be part of their grandkids' lives, but hey, I can't speak for every family. And we're not grandparents yet,

so we don't know what that's like. You probably think, as a grandparent, you've done all that. You've done it. You've raised kids. You've been through it. You're now in your twilight years. Unless the grandparents had a part in creating the children, which, hey, that'd be unorthodox as well.

But there was a lot of follow-up questions on our Facebook page saying they needed more details. So I did actually go back with some follow-up questions. Oh, good. So people wanted to know if it was an everyday thing. Is it in place of daycare? She said it's not every day. It would be a few times a month, sometimes for the whole day.

Yeah, because you'd think if it was every day, obviously that would be warranted. Yeah, if it's in place of daycare, then they kind of need some reimbursement, I would have thought. But this puts them in a position where, okay, they've either got to pay their grandparents money, I assume there's no one else that can do it,

or they pay professional money. So if they're going to hand money over to someone, surely you want to keep it in the family. Nepotism. But that could be the difference between doing what they're doing and not. So they might not pay someone.

They might just not do what they wanted to do. Oh, not do it. Right. Gotcha. So the people also said like what's the general vibe with the parents.

They said they've always been happy to in the past. They've never expressed any frustration. And also how many kids and what age? Two kids, two and five. Bloody hard to survive on the superannuation.

Kiwi saver. You know, you've got the gold card but that doesn't pull you through week to week so you've got to get cash where you can. I'm going to sell my body when I'm retired. I just, I, if it's a few times a month, I'm just like, you know how often parents knock at

their kids for, like, when are you going to give me grandies? When are you going to, like, just hang how often parents knock at their kids for, like, when are you going to give me grandies? When are you going to, like, just hang out with them for a little bit. They also love you. We know where you stand. You're saying it's a cashless job, a cashless role of the grandparent. If it was every day in place of daycare, pay them. Otherwise, no.

Okay, well, I'm going to take the other end. I'm going to say I probably deep down agree with you. But right now I'm going to say it's not their obligation. They don't have to do it. But say no then. We'll say no or say hey, if we're going to do it, we'd like to get paid something. They're within their rights to do it.

Oh, totally. I do agree with that. But they are within their rights to do that. That's true. And kids are, you know, kids can sap your energy. So you may as well get rewarded for it financially. Okay, 4487, way on into this one. Is it a clear-cut case? Is Megan speaking the truth that we need to get back to this person on?

Or do you have another opinion? Now, what... Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Slid into your DMs, Megan. So basically, they've got two kids aged two and five, we've found out, and they are asking their grandparents to look after them a few times a month.

I think it would work out to be like once a week, it sounds like. And now the grandparents are asking to be paid. How do you feel about that? Demanding an appearance fee to hang out with the kids. And what are they doing when they are looking out for kids? Is YouTube doing a lot of the heavy lifting? Or they're all in? And some of them, it doesn't sound like just

night time babysitting. It sounds like some of it's like full day. Right, during the day. Whole day. So it is very split. People are saying they have the right to spend their retirement chilling out. They're not your babysitters. Other people are saying in terms of doing kids and activities, you should be compensating them for things like food.

And if they're going to the zoo or something like that, you need to be compensating your parents. A lot of anger too on the text. Absolutely ridiculous. I'm just putting on a voice. I assume this is how this person's feeling. I feel like they need to explain the rationale for suddenly asking for money. I also agree with Megan.

If it's only a few times a month, they shouldn't need to get paid. It's the family. You look after your family, says this text. Ben Boyce, you're saying you understand. I do understand where they come through. We lean on, particularly when the girls were younger,

my mother-in-law Joyce is around. She's the one in the same city we live in and I would often say, do you want some money for this? She'd never take it around she's the one in the same city we live in and I would often say do you want some money for this and she'd never take it of course but yeah at the same time

she said oh yeah I'll take it I would probably give the money over so she's not obligated to do it it's her child but then I'm like

say no just say like if you're not available just say no or you don't want to that day let's get Jimmy in welcome James morning lovely to have you on your thoughts where do you stand Like, if you're not available, just say no. Or you don't want to that day. Let's get Jimmy in.

Welcome, James. Morning. Lovely to have you on. Your thoughts. Where do you stand on paying grandparents for babysitting? No. That's a big no? Hard no.

Hard no from Jimbo. Why is that? Because they're your grandchildren. Most grandparents love their grandchildren to bits. And they'll do anything for their grandchildren. Yeah. And if you're asking for money for your grandchildren, I just think that's mean. That's James.

That's James. I can't agree with him. My mum doesn't live in the same city as us. She lives in Nelson. And she's texting being like, I would do anything to live near your children. Apart from move to Auckland. Apart from that.

Ray Ray, there's always an option. You know, expensive house prices and rent, traffic jams, it's all there in the city of Auckland. Assaults, ram raids, you want it, you got it. You're really selling it. Keely Morena. Hi guys. Where do you sit on this?

Should you have to pay your grandparents for babysitting? Well, in my case, I did pay my mother. Oh, you did? I did because, you know, when I went back to work, when I had my kids, my kid was only three months old. And I didn't want to put them in daycare, so I asked my mum, who was retired, if she would consider looking after my kids.

And it wasn't a huge amount I was paying her, but to me it was a full-time job because she was looking after my kids almost every day. Yeah, right. That seems like it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. And you're probably getting it, as you say,

cheaper than it would be if you were putting your child into daycare. Yeah, I get it. Okay, so just what about the one-off babysitting gig? Okay, I fully understand why you ended up reimbursing it. Sorry, reimbursing. Reimbursing? Did I just make up a word? But, okay, so just a Saturday night, you want to go out for dinner.

Are you obligated to pay the grandparents? So if I needed a nice hour and I wanted mum and dad to look after the kids, they wouldn't be paid for that. No, okay. I guess this is what we're talking about, albeit four times a month. All right, I appreciate your call. Thanks so much for that. No, okay. I guess this is what we're talking about. Albeit four times a month, but... All right, I appreciate your call.

Thanks so much for that. Let's conclude this, Megan. What are we going back with? Basically, if it's a few times a month, people are saying no, generally, but probably need

compensation for activities and you need to have a conversation with how much they're expecting to look after them for free, I guess. Awkward.

They can set up their own babysitting service. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. DM Megan. Thought I'd just leave that Nirvana stuff play out. There we go.

All right. Someone has slid into my DMs with a situation in their life and they want you to pass judgment. Or offer advice. Offer advice. Sorry. While passing judgment. Yes. I'm Offer advice. Sorry. While passing judgment. Yes, I'm here.

Okay. This one reads, Hey guys, this is a bit of a weird one I thought you could bring up for dear Megan. I have a colleague and friend who I've known for years, but every time I see him, he gives me a hug and a kiss on the lips. I've never thought much of it. It's just what he does. And I don't think it's

exclusive to me, but if my husband knew, he'd probably be pretty upset. Recently, a colleague saw it happened and asked if my partner knew. Should I tell my husband, or is it time to set a boundary with my colleague? God, how awkward. I've never seen it as a problem, but now I'm second guessing. Kissing your colleague on the lips. This little ritual definitely started in the 90s, didn't it? It wasn't one that's kicked off over the last couple of years. So it's been going on a while. Some people are like that though, aren't they, when they come up to greet?

Yeah. Some people do kiss on cheeks normally. But is that like a European? They do that in Europe. They do some more stuff in Europe. like, they do a smack on the lip. There are countries that do kiss on either cheek and stuff like that, yeah. It's hard when you're not seeing it, like, is it just like a peck or?

Some people ear kiss, the ear kiss is a good one. Mwah. Yeah. Where you kind of bang cheeks. Can you move, can this person move their cheek, you know, like, is that something they can do, you know, like in this situation? As they come and just be like, cheek. Yeah.

Or offer up like an elbow or a forehead or just a less romantic part of the body to kiss. Or I guess if you know what's happening, like, yeah, move your face and just go on for the hug. Yeah, like a boxer weaving. The thing is with partners, right, she obviously deep down hasn't said anything to her partner because she probably knows it's not wrong and how her partner would react. It's not wrong.

It's not wrong. I mean, it's not right. Sorry. Yeah. But it is wrong and it's not right. But it is, yeah. She's not doing anything wrong.

Is she? We're not having a fair. No, no. She's not going in and kissing this person back, I guess. She's just saying it doesn't bother her, I guess. Yeah, it's she's not going in and kissing this person back, I guess. She's just saying it doesn't bother her,

I guess. Yeah, it's a weird one. Does he kiss other people on the lips, this guy? She says, what does she say? I don't think it's exclusive to me. So it sounds like

that's how he greets people? Sounds like he's a ripe case for HR. It sounds like. Yeah. She does say a colleague and friend who I've known for years.

But, yeah. Are you someone that would kiss on the cheeks or things like that? So I kiss, like, a lot of people on the lips. I kiss my family, my mum, my dad. We kiss on the lips. Do you kiss on the lips, your family? Yeah. Do you?

And I kiss, like, all of Andrew's family on the lips. What? So, like, my brother-in-law. Do you? Smooshing everyone. Right. Do you? Do you kiss your father-in-law. Do you? Smooshing everyone. Right. See you. Does your father-in-law on the lips?

Yeah. Do you? Oh. I see. I don't think that's weird. No, that's fine. You do you. It's definitely weird.

Mouth kisses. Yeah. They're both, you know. How long are your lips like into mine? Oh, it's a peck. So who did that first? Oh, that was. Did you lead with that?

I don't know. Because I didn't really find it weird because I did that with my parents and I still do I reckon it definitely threw Andrew's dad when you first came in for a kiss on the lips

he initiated it I think so really but I was like cool because I do that with my family so maybe I don't

find this as weird kissing on the lips so I kiss my husband's brother on the lips I guess if you're both into it that's fine

now that I've said that out loud I can't imagine kissing Kathy my mother-in's brother on the lips. I guess if you're both into it, that's fine. Now that I've said that out loud. Yeah, no, it's fine. I can't imagine kissing Kathy, my mother-in-law, on the lips. Would you kiss Joyce Boyce on the lips? Maybe you should try it. Oh, it's too late. It's far gone now.

It's something you definitely need. You do have to do it right from the start. Okay, I'll wait over the hits. This person. Is it okay for them to be kissing a colleague on the lips? It's a friend. It's been going on for years. It's platonic.

Yeah. And does their partner need to know about it? Yeah. You're a lip kisser like Megan and her family. I'd love to know. I'll enter the hits for you. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. Kissing going on. And Megan, Megan Pappas, thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing so much about what goes on in your personal life. You can just recap on your issue very shortly. Yeah, so this is the Dear Megan. A colleague is a friend and a colleague. They've known for years.

Every time she sees him, he gives her a hug and a kiss on the lips. She's never thought much of it, but now she's starting to think it's maybe a little strange because a colleague was like, wait, does your husband know? She wants to know, should she tell him? Does she need to set up a boundary? Is this weird? She's second know, should she tell him? Does she need to set up a boundary? Is this weird? She's second guessing it now.

Which I said, I kiss a lot of people on the lips. Don't you? You listed off a whole lot of people too. Big bangers too. Big bangers. So starting. This is me soft launching like, is this how we're going to greet each other guys? Do you kiss your dad?

Yeah. Lips? Yeah. Mum? Yeah. Lips? Brother? No.

No lips with a brother. Not my brother, but Andrew's brother, yes. Because Andrew, your husband's brother, you kiss on your lips. And my brother-in-law, yeah. And your father-in-law. And my father-in-law, my mother-in-law. Justin. Justin. Yeah.

I don't think he's mad about it, though. He's not a lip kisser. I don't think he's a... He's not a lip kisser. And it doesn't do great branding for Nelson, too. No, true. If you like that. Those sorts of relationships. He's on the line, branding for Nelson, too. No, true. If you like that. Those sorts of relationships.

You're the line, my own sibling. Good point, good point. Good point, yeah. So, for me, this isn't as weird. A lot of people have said flip it, and if your husband was going to work kissing someone, put it into context. If I knew he had a friend and he greeted them with a kiss, like a peck, I don't think I'd be weird about it.

No, I wouldn't really care. But some people might, you know? Yeah, maybe the lip kisses are fine with it. Yeah, let's go. Tilly, where are you sitting on this lip scandal? I'm a hugger, okay? I'm definitely not a kisser on the lip. But I think it's society because she was comfortable with it

until a colleague pointed out to her, have you told your husband? So, you know, it was a nothing thing. And until somebody pointed it out to her, no, I'd bugged her. That's not fair. Society casting judgment again. People love to do that on social media, don't they? Any time a celebrity puts a photo up with their kids, oh, that kiss, like David Beckham kissed his daughter on the lips.

And everyone went in on that. I thought that was quite normal. But Kiwi's a bit prudish. Maybe we are. Maybe we are. I also come from a nudist family. So, like, maybe we're supposed to be European. Maybe you are.

Maybe you're meant to be frolicking through the hills of France or something. Nakedaked kissing everyone Kissing everyone on the lips I don't know Maybe that's your That's your future Tilly love your work Have a great day

Thank you so much Love your work too Bye Tilly's loyal listener To the show Esther Morning to you Good morning

How are you? We're doing well In Timaru Lip kissing colleagues Does the Oh look Being from Scotland We're very We're very prudish We don't really do doing well. In Timaru, lip-kissing colleagues, does the... Oh, look, being from Scotland, we're very prudish. We don't really do the hug

kiss thing, but Megan, nudist, well, you've let me into a bit of an insight. I'm trying not to get a visual, but... I tell you what, we've all learned a lot about Megan over the last six minutes. I see, I come from a nudist family.

I'm not, per se. But okay. I think with the colleagues concerned, I definitely would say to the colleague, look, I find it a wee bit uncomfortable. Someone's seen us. You know, we're in work. I think it's a little bit unprofessional,

and I definitely wouldn't get my husband involved because he might just see it from the completely wrong point of view and take it the wrong way. But kissing my family personally, you know, I lived in Italy for years and they taught me and we never really

touched each other's cheeks, but it was always a very, that was your greeting. So I went back to Scotland and all of a sudden I did this with my family. Well, they were like frozen. It was weird. What? What are you doing? What's she brought back to you?

Well, this is how we live. This is Europe. This is what we do. Oh, Esther. Bring it on. Love it. I brought them a thing or two about, you know, a bit of love. Can you just do us a favour too, Esther, and say purple burglar alarm?

Purple burglar alarm. Not bad, not bad. I'm glad I was sober this morning because I thought I was going to be lying on board about a struggle. You have a great day. We appreciate your call. So to wrap things up, Megan. Well, thank you.

I mean, I would say it's fine, but it turns out a lot of people are saying maybe it's not and you need to set a boundary with your colleague. Okay. But I mean, like, if you're fine with it, it's your life. They're your lips. They're your lips. Put them where you want, babes.

Yeah, well, next time. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. They had the Screen Actors Awards yesterday going on, and Harrison Ford, iconic actor, was there in the crowd behind and I went over to his co-stars who was doing an opening and he was eating a chip right on camera.

From my dream of preparing... I told him to turn away! Don't look! He was like, whoops, whoops, and he tried to turn away. It was a big chip too. It was like one of those big wavy ones, flat ones, yeah. I thought it was like garlic bread, but it was definitely a chip. Yeah, it looked massive.

But anyway, he turned away too late and he stole the scene. Harrison Ford. Very funny. Tia Megan. Now someone's been sliding up into your DMs with a chip on their shoulder, you could say. They do. This is a situation at work. It's his DM again.

I found myself in the middle of a workplace nightmare and I don't know what to do. A few months ago, I started casually seeing a guy I met on a dating app. Nothing serious, just a bit of fun. Last week, my company announced a new senior hire and it's him. Uh-oh. He's my new boss. Feels like a rom-com, doesn't it? Moments like this you realise New Zealand's far too small. Now he's acting like nothing ever happened between us while I'm sitting in meetings pretending I haven't seen him naked.

To make matters worse, I just found out he's engaged. Something he conveniently forgot to mention. I feel sick even being in the same room as him, but quitting isn't an option. Do I call him out? Do I tell HR? Or do I keep my mouth shut and pretend it never happened? Spicy stuff.

Good news, she has wonderful job security now. Because, I mean, he can't get rid of her without making things awkward. HR, is that really a... No, it's not. Because it's happened before they work, right? It's not really an option. I know, but that's what a lot of people have commented on our Facebook page.

One from an HR advisor that said, I'm not really sure why you would tell HR. Nothing happened at work. It's your own private life. You've done nothing wrong at work. At work with this company, yeah. Morally questionable questionable obviously. Don't you go to HR if you have any kind of issues

with someone at work? It could potentially cause an issue? Listen, once Ben, at a Christmas party, blew raspberries on my belly button. It made things awkward. We couldn't look each other in the eye. But you work through the awkwardness and it becomes normal.

So if she just sits with it for a month or two, it'll become normal. It'll pass. Keep it professional. Don't pretend that's the weirdest thing you two have done together. That's at the lighter end of the scale. But, you know, you can work through awkwardness. Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, it sucks that he's got a fiancé,

but that's got nothing to do with work. No, true. What about people saying, because so many people are on the text. Yeah, a lot of people are saying keep your mouth shut. Irene said keep your mouth shut and ears open. If you see him interacting suggestively with other women, drop a quiet word in the ear that he is engaged. Otherwise, people are saying keep your mouth shut. It could make things difficult for you in the workplace.

Well, that's true. Especially if you're just going to go around telling everyone else. Blabbing to HR. Someone said go around to his house and tell his wife. Ooh. That's a good idea. Spicy. All right.

So there's some options there, including say nothing, and then the other option is go around to the house and tell the fiancée. Okay. I'm under the hats, 4487. We need to get back to this person today with a bit of advice. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast.

The hits. We're in the middle of Dear Megan this morning. Someone sliding on into the DMs of Megan on Instagram and you can do the same as well if you want to.

I know a guy from Prada has slid into your DMs saying... I know, that was the meanest spam email I've ever got being like, Prada wants to collaborate with you. I was like, oh, I wish this was true. They don't. got, being like, Prada wants to collaborate with you. I was like, no, I wish this was true. They don't.

They really don't. All right, we're going to collaborate with you right now on this there, Megan. Just quickly, to recap. So this person was casually seeing a guy they meet on a dating app, nothing serious, a bit of fun. Fast forward, and the company they're working for hires a new boss, and it's him. She has since found out that he's also engaged,

which he forgot to mention, so now she's like, what do I do? I have to work with this guy. What do you think she should do? Well, let's get Martin on. Good morning to you. Morning everyone, how's it going? Good, thank you. Bit of a fiddly situation here, Marty.

Bit of an employment issue. What do you think? Well, there's two things in this one. First of all, it was just a fling, so just a bit of sex, you know? So she can't get too carried away

with the fact she's the boss and all that. I'd love to hear you say that in front of your partner. Yeah, it's just a bit of sex.

She doesn't get involved in this. And then, secondly, you know, perfect chance for her to get a pay rise. Oh,

use it to an advantage. In some ways it is if you want to play that card, but do you want to play that card? It's probably the moral, again, a moral issue. He's got moral issues.

Yeah. Yeah, okay, just a promotion then. Okay, but a harmless bit of sex and a bit of harmless bit of blackmail from Martin there.

All right, Martin, appreciate your call. Plenty of messages coming through. Hundreds and hundreds of messages coming through. I quite like this one. I'd put it on record with HR in case of a future event, but have nothing done about it, and then just get on with the job. Okay.

Because a lot of people are saying, look, it was outside of work. It's nothing to do with the job. So then dragging HR into it, even in that instance is... What do you do if he's like a boss that you see all the time? Like our boss, Mando. Like, we see him all the time. I've hooked up with Mando.

I've hooked up with Mando many times. It's consensual. Yeah, it's consensual. It was before he started here. You'd have to have a conversation with him, right? Maybe be like, that's your personal life. Let's just not talk about it. There is a difference.

There's a line. I have no... Like, I don't want to talk just not talk about it. There is a difference. I have no, I don't want to talk to your wife about it. Let's just leave it. I feel like he might bring it up too in this situation, right? Because you kind of want to know that he's not going to leverage it against you in any way. You're not going to lose your job. I don't know, that's a very but I agree with keeping quiet.

Okay, so that's what we're going to go, because we need to go back. You need to go back to the DM. If you're going to talk to anyone, I think it's talk to him to say and play it down. Or a radio station. That's your other option. Keep it classy and message a radio station. We'll talk about it on the airwaves. Jono, Ben and Megan.

The podcast. The hits. Welcome to Dear Megan. This is essentially free therapy with an audience, but that's the price you pay for free therapy. There's people listening to it. Okay, Megan, someone slid into your DMs. Yeah, they don't always have to be relationship advice, but they often are.

And this one is, it reads, Dear Megan, I recently married the love of my life. Congratulations. Our wedding was beautiful, but a few weeks later I learned from a mutual friend that my husband had been married before. He never mentioned it, and when I asked, he downplayed it, saying it was a short marriage from years ago that wasn't important.

He says he didn't tell me because he was embarrassed and I'm the only one that matters now. I get it, but I feel like it's a big thing to leave out. I'm not sure if it's a red flag, but I'm feeling upset and confused. If he left this out, what else is he hiding? That's where you jump to, isn't it? Oh, tough one. Maybe he was just, maybe he's just a bit awkward or embarrassed about a failed, the failed marriage, the previous one. And he didn't want to go, oh, I'm so bad at them.

Maybe you won't marry me. You know, maybe there's parts of me that aren't marriable. I get the embarrassed part at the start, but like, if you're with someone, like, and you want to marry them,

you tell them everything, right? Even like, so you go on a few dates and you're like, I don't want to say that I was married. But then after that,

you're like, hey, I was married. Didn't work out. You know, like, you have those chats. Or people,

you can just slowly find stuff out about you as life goes on. Obviously they have. I mean, you don't need to delve. I mean, sometimes you don't need to tell everyone everything, but I do feel like a marriage is quite a pivotal thing. It's a big ticket item.

Yeah, that's one of the things that you think you would go, hey, just so you know. I have been married once before. It does feel like something. I don't know the reasons why he wouldn't have told, but yeah. Has she confronted him? I think he, I don't know. I think he knows that she's not happy about it.

Yeah, right. People are questioning how they even got a marriage license. But I guess that's like in my situation, Andrew was the one who had to deal with that. He dealt with the marriage license and got that all prepared beforehand. And like, you're not reading that when you sign it, right?

I didn't read it. I just signed it. You should have. Yeah. Okay, so 0800 the hits. We're going to open the phones on this one. You can text 4487. The advice that we need to give this person.

Is it a red flag? Is it a... Are there other things he's hiding? Or is that a genuine thing that you can just not talk about? Yeah, I'd love to. Would you keep a marriage from... Not a marriage, no. To be honest, my husband, we had a friend group.

And he kept from me that he had a relationship with one of the people in the friend group. And that annoyed me. Yeah, see, relationships, I'm like, I don't need to know. You don't need to know. No, but if they're in your friend group. And that annoyed me. Yeah, see, relationships, I'm like, oh, I don't need to know. You don't need to know. No, but if they're in your friend group. Yeah, right. That's probably going to pop up at some stage, isn't it? They're like, hello, we all hang out.

I probably needed to know that there was history there. Oh, you didn't know? How many years had you been hanging out until you found that out? Two or three. Has it changed the vibes? And same thing. We were in a group and one of the mutual friends was like,

oh, you all right with that? And I was like, what are you talking about? Oh, okay. Like, what? And I'd, same thing, we were in a group and one of the mutual friends was like, oh, you all right with that? And I was like, what are you talking about? Oh, okay. Like, what? And the answer is no. Okay, I'll wait a hundred minutes. Is this a red flag? Do you need to know everything about the person you're marrying before you actually say, oh, I do?

They're not currently still married, right? The first marriage? No. No, the marriage has ended. She's not polygamy. I don't think you're allowed to get a marriage license if you're still married. Jono, Ben and Megan. The podcast. The hits. Dear Megan,

turning your personal problems into public entertainment. Megan, someone slided, slowed into your DMs with a question about their new husband. Yes, so they have recently gotten married and then after the fact has learnt that

their husband has been married before he's never mentioned it and now she's wondering if it's a red flag like what is what else is he hiding a lot of a lot of texts saying uh you would know that if they've been married before because of the marriage license apparently it's documented on the marriage license yeah and it comes through like i don't know if it's changed but it comes through as a sort of bullet points down left and right sides. And one of the things says relationship status and it says either never been married before

or married before. So there, she could have missed that. She clearly didn't read that document. I can't even, that document you're showing me right now. It's not a big detailed T's and C's document. No, but you're signing that on your wedding day. I didn't even look at that.

There's just like sign and everyone's taking photos of you. There's a lot going on. I've signed a lot of stuff in my life and I don't think I've read any of it. Also, like if he applied for the marriage certificate, like he can put in his, because I had to put in my details of my previous marriage. He could have just put in the details, right? If he's trying to keep it from her.

Maybe he can do a lot more online now. I'm not sure, yeah. But the issue is, is it a red flag? Hiding a marriage, a previous marriage from your new partner. A lot of texts coming in on this one. Carol, good morning. Hi. Are we talking red flags, Carol?

Alarm bells ringing for you, Carol? No, I think what's in the past should stay in the past. They obviously love each other or they wouldn't have got married. So why worry about what's happened in the past? Carol, that's not a bad approach.

It's been, it's done, it's gone. It's not now. We're moving forward together. Exactly. I do hear what you're saying and I do agree with that too, mostly what you're saying, but then at with that too, mostly what you're saying, but then at the same time I feel like a marriage maybe is something that you should potentially

have brought up, right? He's definitely kept it a secret for whatever reason. He's chosen to withhold that information, which is a thing that is kind of red flaggy to me. I mean, I've been married before, and I've had other relationships, and I've never brought up that I was married once before. Okay. But if you got married again,

would you say that you were married before? No, because that was in the past. Right. Carol's all about the future. She's looking forward. But what if you, like, cheat on your partner, and you're like, it doesn't matter, it's in the past? Oh, well, I wouldn't cheat on my partner anyway, so... Carol it doesn't matter, it's in the past? Oh, well,

I wouldn't cheat on my partner anyway. Carol's rock solid, mate. Stupid question, Megan. You can't just ignore everything in the past, is what I'm saying. I know, but then Carol's like,

how much do you hang on to? Yeah. She just wants the future, don't you, Carol? Exactly. Is your future looking bright at the moment, Carol? Yeah, I'm single

and I'm staying that way. Yeah, right. Are you ready to mingle or no mingling? No mingling. No mingling. Done your mingling? Done my mingling. I'm quite happy on my own.

Oh, yeah. Go, Carol. Good on you, Carol. Well, thanks for your call and thanks for your advice. Appreciate it. Okay. Now let's go to James. Morning to you, James.

Morning. Your thoughts on this one. Cause for alarm bells, red flags. Well, as a guy who's been married for 19 years, and I'm in a happy marriage. I've never had one before. But I see it from another side that maybe that marriage was horrible. Absolutely horrible.

It brings up mental health issues. And he just doesn't want to talk about it. Oh, he's pulled out the mental health issues. Yeah, no, that's true. Maybe he just wants to, like PTSD, just wants to leave that there, doesn't want to tarnish the new marriage. It's a fair point, James. So no need for concern on your part.

No, because I know someone that's actually gone through a really bad marriage and got out, and he's still suffering from it. Okay. So, yeah, that's the reason why I came from that point of view. I get it, but, like, if you are still suffering from it, like, that conversation would probably still need to be had with the current partner. Well, if you're really happy with that partner

and that partner brings the best side of you and you think, well, I'm happy with her, why do I need to think about what's happened in the past? Okay, there's been a lot of calls on that front. I didn't think we'd get those calls. No, neither. I thought it would have been open comms all the way. So what are we saying, Megan?

We need to go back with an answer in the DMs? Well, it's pretty split. I would say that most people are saying it's in the past. Leave it. Don't worry about it. Leave it.